Podcast Title: UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE
Episode: 38: Becoming Who Your Purpose Requires ft. Jovian Zayne
Release Date: June 17, 2025
Introduction
In Episode 38 of UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE, host Shelah Marie delves deep into the intricate relationship between personal purpose and the sacrifices it demands. This episode features Jovian Zayne, a renowned leadership coach, speaker, and founder of the On Purpose movement. Together, they explore what it truly means to live authentically according to one's purpose, especially for Black women navigating societal expectations and personal growth.
Icebreaker: Rapid Fire Questions
To set a relaxed and candid tone, Shelah and Jovian begin with a series of rapid-fire questions, allowing listeners to connect with Jovian on a personal level.
Unexpected Catalyst for Purpose:
- Shelah: "What's the most unexpected thing that has helped you get closer to your purpose?"
- Jovian (01:59): "A breakup."
Both Shelah and Jovian resonate over similar experiences, highlighting the transformative power of personal setbacks.
Physical or Spiritual Cues of Being Off Purpose:
- Shelah: "What's your personal tell or your body's spirit cue that you're off your purpose?"
- Jovian (02:46): "I start to feel insecure... overthinking basic things... through the lens of others rather than what feels good to me."
Jovian emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and aligning actions with personal truth to stay on course.
Ideal Weekend Off:
- Shelah: "What does a joyfully non-stressful day look like for you?"
- Jovian (03:54): "An ideal world where someone's making all my meals, teleporting from the beach to a cabin with family, and having individual time to relax without obligations."
Jovian paints a picture of complete relaxation, free from societal pressures and personal responsibilities.
Deep Dive: Living Your Purpose
Understanding the Costs of Purpose
Shelah introduces the episode's central theme: exploring the true costs of living one's purpose. They discuss the challenges of maintaining integrity, making difficult choices, and walking a path that may not always be clear or glamorous.
Jovian’s Journey: Jovian shares her personal story of a past relationship that hindered her growth and purpose. She reflects on the necessity of leaving toxic environments to reclaim creative energy and focus on her true calling.
Notable Quote:
- Jovian (09:17): "When you stay in something you've outgrown, you experience the consequences... my purpose was in jeopardy."
Choosing Purpose Intentionally
They discuss the concept that purpose is not a fixed destination but a series of intentional choices made daily.
Jovian on Intentionality: Jovian emphasizes the importance of slowing down and making conscious decisions that align with one's values and desired impact.
Notable Quote:
- Jovian (15:31): "Purpose is about the intentional choices we make every day... what would happen if everyone started to live on purpose and not by accident?"
Practical Steps: Jovian introduces the idea of journaling and self-reflection as tools to cultivate intentional living.
Notable Quote:
- Jovian (17:24): "It's a slowdown. It's a conscious divestment from what is."
Navigating Public and Private Selves
Shelah poses a critical question about balancing public persona with private struggles, especially for those in the public eye.
Jovian’s Approach: Jovian discusses the importance of defining personal boundaries and seeking support from those who genuinely understand and can provide capacity during challenging seasons.
Notable Quote:
- Jovian (26:24): "When I'm in a season of doubt... I need to be clear around who has capacity for me and go to them."
Embracing Change and Letting Go
The conversation shifts to recognizing when it's time to shed old versions of oneself to embrace new growth.
Indicators of Stagnation: Feelings of resentment and self-doubt are key indicators that it's time to let go of outdated behaviors or relationships.
Notable Quote:
- Jovian (30:06): "If I'm starting to feel resentment, that's an indicator."
Creating Boundaries: Jovian shares personal strategies for setting boundaries to protect mental and physical health.
Notable Quote:
- Jovian (32:02): "I'm gonna create a boundary for myself... It takes the pressure off for purpose."
Navigating DEI and Corporate Environments
Authentic DEI Efforts vs. Performative Actions
Shelah inquires about Jovian’s experiences working with corporations on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives and the challenges of genuine versus superficial efforts.
Jovian’s Insights: Jovian critiques the performative nature of some corporate DEI efforts, emphasizing that true inclusion requires deep, sustained commitment beyond surface-level actions.
Notable Quote:
- Jovian (34:37): "Creating more diverse, equitable, and inclusive spaces... that's just a part of how you approach life."
Impact of Dismantling DEI Programs
They discuss the potential long-term effects of rolling back DEI initiatives, with Jovian expressing deep disappointment and concern.
Notable Quote:
- Jovian (37:56): "The attempt to dismantle diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts... are really antithetical to the premise of America."
Embracing a Multi-Hyphenate Purpose
Balancing Multiple Roles
Shelah raises a common concern among women balancing various roles and purposes, asking Jovian how to manage being a multi-hyphenate without feeling overwhelmed.
Jovian’s Advice: Jovian encourages embracing the multi-faceted nature of one's purpose with gratitude and discernment, advising listeners to honor each gift selectively based on current life seasons.
Notable Quote:
- Jovian (40:31): "Be kind to your mind and appreciate that being a multi-hyphenate is your truth."
Practical Tool: Core4 Toolkit
Jovian introduces her Core4 Toolkit, a practical framework to help listeners define and align their purposes through four essential questions:
- Who do you want to impact?
- How do you want to impact them?
- Who needs to impact you?
- What behavior do you need to shift?
Notable Quote:
- Jovian (51:55): "Who do you want to impact? How do you want to impact them? Who needs to impact you? And what behavior do you need to shift?"
Conclusion and Takeaways
Shelah and Jovian wrap up the episode by reiterating that purpose is an ongoing, intentional practice rather than a static end goal. They emphasize the importance of self-compassion, curiosity, and adaptability in living authentically.
Final Insights:
- Purpose evolves with personal growth and life seasons.
- Authentic living requires setting boundaries and making deliberate choices.
- Embracing multiple purposes can be managed through gratitude and selective focus.
Notable Quote:
- Jovian (50:00): "The nature of purpose is that it evolves, but its essence remains the same."
Resources and Further Engagement
Jovian Zayne’s Contact Information:
- Email: jovianzane@jovianzane.com
- Website: jovianzane.com
- Instagram: @jovianzane
Jovian’s Upcoming Projects:
- Book: Soft Landings for Hard Days – an extension of her coaching work.
- Newsletter: Soon to be launched, covering topics related to her book and coaching services.
Listener Engagement: Shelah encourages listeners to reach out with questions or topics for future episodes via voice notes at speakpipe.com/unruly.
Final Thoughts: This episode of UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE offers a profound exploration of living purposefully, highlighting the balance between personal growth and societal expectations. Jovian Zayne’s insights provide practical tools and heartfelt encouragement for listeners striving to align their lives with their true calling.
Thank you for tuning into UNRULY. Stay unruly, stay purposeful, and don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!