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- [00:00]
Ryan Seacrest
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- [00:28]
Sheila Marie
21/ terms and conditions apply.
- [00:30]
Ryan Seacrest
Ben hadn't had a decent night's sleep in a month. So during one of his restless nights, he booked a package trip abroad on Expedia.
- [00:39]
Sheila Marie
When he arrived at his beachside hotel.
- [00:42]
Ryan Seacrest
He discovered a miraculous bed slung between two trees and fell into the best sleep of his life.
- [00:50]
Sheila Marie
You were made to be rechargeable.
- [00:52]
Ryan Seacrest
We were made to package flights and hotels and hammocks for less Expedia.
- [00:58]
Sheila Marie
Made to travel. Welcome to Unruly. I'm your host, Sheila Marie. I'm an author, a fierce advocate for black women, and the founder of the curvy curly conscious movement. In this space, I'm sharing what I've learned on my own journey while sitting down with some amazing women who are all navigating their own paths to healing. Because there's no better time than now to get a little unruly. Welcome back to the final episode of season one of Unruly with Sheila Marie. I am your host, of course, Sheila, and today's episode is called Done is Better than Perfect. And this title is very appropriate as this was pretty much the theme for the whole season. The whole season told us to take the next best step. This whole season asks us to take aligned action. And what we learned is that by taking steps, you. You learn more along the way. Every step you take makes you more aligned because it gives you more information. And with each step, you gain clarity and insight that you couldn't have gained if you didn't take this step. And if you've been with me for this journey, you know that I will never chase perfection. It's just not realistic and it's not even interesting to me. Really what I'm interested in is having us show up, tell the truth, be honest, and honoring the messy in the middle. All right? Life is messy. And I don't think that we should try to escape that. I think we should embrace it and honor it, and that's what actually makes us human. And unruly. Over the course of this season, we've explored some amazing topics like how to heal within hustle culture, how to rebrand ourselves spiritually and personally, and what it looks like to unlearn harmful theology. We've gone deep into the science of sleep, grief, dream work, womb healing, mediumship, and so much more. Each conversation was held with integrity and depth. And that I am so proud of, because in this landscape of never ending podcasts, it can be very easy to go for low hanging fruit and just chase virality. But I think that we've been very steadfast in our commitment to uplifting voices that help women find their most unruly self. And I really stood 10 toes down on that, and I'm very proud about that. Each guest that we had brought medicine that we didn't even know that we needed. Each topic helped us soften, expand, and evolve into our most unruly selves. So with that said, enjoy this episode. And I will be back after the episode with some more closing thoughts and maybe a surprise. All right, y', all, welcome back to another episode of Unruly. This episode is going to be a little bit different. I'm used to interviewing. I'm used to having a guest and having an expert and talking through the things, but this one is just me. This podcast is done is better than perfect, and this episode is going to be done and not perfect. Okay. It's a little, you know, it's a little different this time because I am active. I'm practicing what I preach. I preach all the time to women to take aligned action, to step into who they are. Not later, not, oh, after I lose the weight. Oh, after I get the job. Oh, after I get the partner, after I get the funds, after, da, da, da. Then I'll love myself. Then I'll really do all the things I want to do sometime later in the future. No, now. And this is the same thing that I need to practice with myself is that I noticed that since. And this is kind of crazy because love and hip hop was a long time ago, but when I did love and hip hop, I hated my experience and I hated the way that I portrayed. I was portrayed, which was partly editing, partly. I was just. It was going through a lot. It was a lot going on at the time. But what I. The feeling of being thrown into front of, like, in front of millions of people who assume the worst about. You don't know, you, like, it just made me feel so unsafe that I was like, oh, I'm gonna stop Talking as much. And I noticed like before I did Love and Hip Hop, I would have a lot of talking head videos. I would share my thoughts on things. And then I noticed after Love and Hip Hop, I kind of started to shrink a little bit. And I didn't want to talk to the world as much because I feared the judgment part of it. And so this is me saying f that. Okay, we're not doing that. And at the same time, this is me talking to my people. Because if you're listening to this podcast, you are the person that I want to speak to respectfully. And I say this with the utmost respect. What I learned from being exposed to a lot of people is I don't care about a lot of people's opinions. I'm going to keep it honest with you. Like I don't go back and forth in comment sections. I don't do none of that. Because a lot of people have not even worked on themselves, investigated themselves, don't even know what they think for real. You can talk to somebody and they can literally be a hologram of thoughts and ideas from their parents, their church. They're this, they're that. And I'm like, there's not an original thought there, Queen. Respectfully. So why are we so concerned about people's opinions about us who haven't done anything the same type of work and investigation on themselves as you? And this is not like a, oh, I'm, I'm on my high horse because I am more spiritually evolved than you. No, it is just acknowledging the work that goes into being a self aware person. And we do have to manage ourselves with that. And so this is just me, my mic, my beautiful messy thoughts. And what I want to talk about first is done is better than perfect. I am working with a coach right now. Oh my God, look at me. Yes, I'm practicing what I preach. I feel like if I'm going to be a leader in this wellness capacity, I have to constantly, constantly sounds pressure. It sounds like I'm always working, but I am invested. I like to be up leveling myself, clearing self limiting beliefs, being better and better so that I can have spiritual integrity. I mean, I can't be telling people to do anything that I'm not doing right. And so let me just hold on one second. I lost my notes. See, look at that. This is me being honest. Yeah. I'm here for real conversations that are with people who are critically engaged. And a lot of people on social media don't want to think or have or you know, be open to any new ideas. They just want to argue and get their. Their pot, you know, get their off. And I think, great, they should. But I'm not, I'm not going back in with you. I'm not going back and forth and I'm not hiding either. Okay, so this is my podcast, and although I have guests all the time, I have noticed and I've gotten some feedback that you guys want are here for me too. Oh, my God. You're here for me. Thanks. Welcome to my party. So you want to hear my thoughts, so you know what I'm saying? Here we are. So this is the style. This is the episode I'm going to do. I. I also have another episode that I recorded about grief. So if you like solo episodes, there's a few on the feed, but definitely the one about grief, go listen to that as well. And so today I want to talk about done is better than perfect and why taking aligned action is so important sometimes. I'm speaking for myself here too. So this is you I relate is I get caught up in perfection, things being perfect, especially millennials. A lot of millennials grew up in a time when branding was super important. And branding was like when you were building, building a business in the early stages, you would be focusing on how it looks before you even have the business all, you know, settled. It's like, we're very caught up in brands. Like, millennial brands talk to you. They want to be your friend. They're really beautiful. Their feeds are organized. And I think that there is a place for that. But there's also a place for the unruly. There's a place for the unfiltered. There's a place for the mess. Okay, Main character energy in my book, if you remember. But I want to talk about this time. I took an acting class in New York. This is when I was living in Brooklyn. This had to be 2014ish, because I can't remember, y'. All. I did a podcast interview the other day with Good Mom's Bad Choices. And twice during the interview. This is so fucking embarrassing. Twice during the interview, I forgot the question that they asked me. And I'm like, are you okay, Sheila? Like, am I okay? If anybody has any suggestions on ways to enhance your memory, I feel like trauma has. And then also social media, just growing up with videos and scrolling. I definitely think it's affected my memory. But anyway, I do remember this, that I was in New York and I was studying acting at the time. And if you are in New York and you're pursuing acting. I cannot remember the name of this building. If you're listening, let me know. But it's this building where it's in this city, it's in Manhattan. And everybody goes to this video, this like building to take classes. Because it has, it's like that, those types of buildings that have a lot of suites and you can rent out different rooms. And so you'll go in there and it'll be, you know, vocal lessons over here and tap dancing lessons over here and river dance competition over there and you know, on camera acting intensive there. And so this is a place where creatives are and it's a lot of people working on their craft. So I was in there taking another class and I saw a poster for a business class for actors. It's like a free workshop for actors. A business actor? No, it was a free business class for actors. That's what it was. And I was like, free business class. I'm like, okay, great. And I just decided to do it because me, I'd just be doing the things. And so I didn't realize it then, but I was being put into her funnel. It was a very good funnel by the way. She was great because I ended up signing for an eight week intensive after this. And that was the most money I had ever spent on, on classes at that time. It was like $800. And I was like, oh my God, I'm investing in myself. Like, look at me, I'm a big girl now. I'm going to make it big, mommy. Right? So I made her a little workshop. Boom. And she's like straight up. Most actors are over prepared and no, over trained and underprepared. That's what she said. Most actors are over trained, under prepared. They have all the skills, they know how to do the things. You can sing on an operatic SC and you can do all of that, but you don't know how to navigate the business of being an artist or an actor in my case. And I was like, yeah, she's so right. She was like, yeah, you don't need to learn another dialect. You need to know how to navigate the ins and outs of the industry. And she was like, a lot of us which is taking aligned action.
- [12:13]
Ryan Seacrest
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- [12:41]
Sheila Marie
21 + terms and conditions apply. An aligned action is the actions that we take that actually get us closer to our goal. But sometimes they scare us. And so to avoid dealing with the fear of aligned that comes with taking aligned action, we do busy work. She. She was calling it administrivia. That was a term I think she made up. And she was like, you just do all these things to stay busy and mimic the performance of being productive, but you're not actually getting yourself out of your own habits and into aligned action. Facing those fears, that's really going to give you the results that you're looking. And so she was giving examples. Like someone in the group was like, cause again, we're in the. By this time I've already signed up. I'm taking the eight week intensive. And so every week she would give us challenges. And one of the early challenges was like research and organization, right? Getting your casting director list organized, your headshots, all the things. And someone was like, oh, my win for the week is I cleared out my Gmail inbox. It's completely empty now. And she was like, okay, so what did you get from that? And I was like, ooh. Because when they shared that, I thought it was a. I was like, wow, that's impressive. Yeah, get to the bottom of your Gmail. And she's like, that is not aligned action. That's administrivia. That's busy work. You're sitting in front of a computer, you're doing things. We like to look busy, feel busy. But what we need to do is get you to actions that are conf. To confront those fears, shift those beliefs and get the results that you want. So next week, she challenged us to do something that scared us. And our challenge was to make a phone call that scared us. And that scared me because I do not like the phone, baby. I will click out of a FaceTime or a phone call faster than a toddler who wants to play games on your phone. That is me. Swipe, ring, swipe. I'm back watching TikTok. And yes, I'm on my phone. And yes, I'm ignoring it. I'm sorry. I don't care. You can fight me. You can't. Just kidding. But I really don't like making phone calls. I'm a Part of that generation, like, where I feel like we were the last generation with house phones. I know phone calls, but I don't know. I. I'm much more comfortable with, like, email and text. And she was like, nope, we gotta make phone calls. You gotta get out of that. This is a part of the business of acting. One thing that. That people who get jobs do is they get on the phone and they talk to people. They speak to people. I'm like, all right. She was like, identify. I think she gave us a list of, like, your five favorite actors or whatever, people whose work that you admire. And at the time. Emphasis on. At the time, I was super into girls. Girls. Is this hbo? It was. Was. I guess it's. You could still watch it now it's a HBO series. Like a baby. Sex in the City kind of thing. It was, like, following this group of young girls in New York and dating and, like, all the things. And I loved Girl and Girls. The writer and creator of Girls, her name is Lena Dunham, and that was my choice. I was like, lena Dunham. I love Leah Dunham. At the time, I loved Girls. I think retroactively, like, looking back now, I don't think people have a favorable opinion of Lena Dunham. I feel like I've heard critique of her being a Nepo baby and, like, the show was centered around whiteness and white women. But at the time, I just thought it was a dope show. So I was like, all right. Lena Dunham. That's my favorite. She was like, okay, great. You need to get on the phone with Lena Dunham. I said, excuse me. I need to get on the phone with who? I'm sorry, come again? I'm like, how am I gonna get on the phone with Lita Dunham? So I had. We all had these challenges, right? So I'm in here researching her manager, I think. I can't remember if it was her casting agent or her manager, but I did end up finding a phone number. And so I got the phone number, and I'm like, I have to make this call. And this call scares the hell outta me. Like, what? So I'm lighting candles. I got incense in my room. I dim the lights. I made it, like, really serene. I'm looking at myself in the mirror. I'm like, you can do this, Sheila. You can do this. You can do this. And I'm so nervous. I think I'm shaking. And so I just pick up the phone and I'm like, hi. Hi. I would like to speak to Lena Dunham. And the guy on the other phone is like, excuse me, what? I'm like, hi, my name checks my script. My name is Sheila Marie and I'm in an acting intensive class. And we're over our. He was like, you cannot just call up here and talk to Lena Dunham. By click, hung up on me. Guess what? I didn't die. I didn't die. Nothing happened. Did I speak to Lena Dunham? No, I didn't. Did I feel more confident about myself? Absolutely. Because I took bold, messy, imperfect, aligned action. Aligned action actually moves us closer to what we want. Because even though I did not get to speak to Lena Dunham, I did get the feeling of what it is like to pick up the phone and have a scary phone call. And I was able to do that more. And I mean, after that I ended up, I wrote and produced an original play and I would get on the phone with colleges. I still can't believe I did this. Like, when I think about all the things I'd done in my past, I'm like, I was bold bitch back then. I need to be a little bit bolder now. Maybe I'm a bold hoe now. Am I a bolt ho or old ho? We gonna find out anyway. Maybe I'm both. I love all these things. For me, it made me bolder. I got over a piece of my fear. I built my confidence and I realized there's a new level of bravery within me. Because taking action breeds the confidence. Thinking about the action breeds fear. The more you sit and think about what you're gonna do and over plan it and try to make it perfect, the more you invent all of these reasons for why you can't move out of this phase. The more actions you take, the more information you get. Every time you take an aligned action, you confront a fear. You get new information about who you are and what you want. You might take the action and be like me. When I took enough aligned action as an actress, I realized I didn't really want it.
- [19:04]
Ryan Seacrest
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- [19:32]
Sheila Marie
21 + terms and conditions apply. I only could learn that from doing it. I could only learn that from being in production. I could only learn that from being on sets. I could only learn that from having conversations. And I was like, wow, a lot of Hollywood, these people are psychopaths. And I literally do not want to be here. I really do to this day. And this could just be me. This could just be me. But I really do have a theory that in the words of our fallen philosopher, Kanye west, the people highest up got a lower self esteem. And I really do feel that one thing that I started to look around was like, oh my gosh, this is just me, guys. Maybe it's my projection, but I'm gonna say it. Cause this is my feeling. When I looked around in a room full of actors, I was like, these people are deeply insecure. A lot of actors need to be the center of attention. And they're pursuing acting from a place of lack and not from a place of power. Not all, not all, but that was just a lot of my experience. I was like, I'm bumping up against this too much. I actually think what I love to do is, is consume art. I don't necessarily need to be a professional actress to do that right. So done is better than perfect. Taking action breeds confidence. Thinking about action makes you more scared. Okay, so that's the done and perfect segment. I want to move on to something else. I actually. We're vibing. I want to actually talk about Sinners. Oh, by the way, Lena Dunham at that time was super popular. And you know who else was just gaining popularity that I think I should mention is Greta Gerwig. Greta Gerwig went on to direct the Barbie movie, and at that time she had just came out with her first indie feature film and it was called Frances Ha. If you have not seen it, if you are a film head like me, if you love art, Frances Ha is so. And you can see the beginning of her stylistic choices that she went on to use to make the Barbie movie in Frances Ha. So it's nice to watch, see how far an artist comes. So, yeah, moving on to my next random thoughts is I would like to talk about Sinners for a second. Sinners, the feature film just released by Ryan Coogler. There will be spoilers. So if you have not seen. First of all, what are you doing? First of all, what are you doing, sister? Get to the IMAX, get to the 70 centimeter millimeters, whatever it is. Yeah, Cuz you know how like Ryan Cooler. Y' all ever heard Ryan Coogler talk? Yeah, cuz like you gotta see it like on film. You know what I'm saying? But I don't even know. Sorry people from California, please don't come for me. I tried my best, but I love hearing Ryan Coogler speak because he has no intention of code switching and he'll be talking about the most dense in depth film topics with that accent. And I absolutely love that he just doesn't try to hide it. Love Ryan Coogler for that. Now's your chance, okay? Because I'm gonna give some spoilers for Sinners, okay? That movie is so good, I need to see it again because there is so much to unpack. In Sinners. There are Easter eggs for days. It's like Easter. The most magnificent Easter egg hunt ever. If you are somebody who loves Easter eggs like me, sinners will feed you for days. One of the things I just want to pull from Sinners that I think relates to our conversation is talking about trusting your intuition and discernment. I want to talk about that through the lens of Annie. Annie is in my opinion, because I know that. But there's a. This. Do I need to give a. I don't need to give a synopsis. You know what the movie's about, right? We all get it. Mississippi, 1920s. 1920s, okay? These brothers, smokestack twins were following them, right? So they want to open this jug joint. So boom. A lot of people are calling Sammy the main character. And he is rightfully. Sammy is the lead. This is Miles Canton, I think that's his name. He. This is his breakout role. His breakout role. When you watch the film, you cannot believe that this his first time in a major motion picture. He did his big one. I wish him so much success in the future. I think though, Annie is the main character played by Wunmi Musaku. And when I think of her, I think of this type of film. I was introduced to her in Lovecraft Country. Say that five times fast. Lovecraft, Lovecraft. Lovecraft. Lovecraft Country. Misha Green's Lovecraft Country. That was on hbo. They only had one season. I'm not even gonna get into it, but I do think I know that I have heard interviews from actors in the show saying why didn't the series get a season two? Because of all the damn shows that HBO green lights and gives seasons to, why not Lovecraft Country? I will never forgive HBO for that, but I wonder if it has something to do with Where Misha wanted to take the series, and she was very uncomprom. And at the end of season one, the last line of the whole show was, we got the power now. And you got a black female character saying that to white characters. And I wonder if HBO just did not want to go there, you know, where would the show have gone? But Wumi Mousaku plays very similar. Her role in Lovecraft country feels like it could exist in the same world as sinners. I love afrofuturism. Um, it's almost like magic realism mixed with a little sprinkle of negro. Am I biracial? I can't say that, can I? I don't know. Don't come for me, guys. See, you want it honest, Here we are. But Annie is a hoodoo priestess. Okay, Hoodoo priestess. All right. A lot of times we confuse hoodoo with voodoo. Hoodoo is an African American folk magic tradition that is primarily. That was primarily, I would say, perfected by African Americans. They pull from native American traditions, pull from some elements of Catholicism and Christianity. But it is really about root work. It is really about working with the earth to make circumstances work for you. Voodoo is a certified religion. Voodoo has priests, goddesses, gods, a whole deities. It's a whole actual religion with a set of rul and et cetera. So voodoo and hoodoo, they sound the same. They are in the same universe, but they're very different. And I've never seen. Not never. It's been maybe like Eve's bayou. I'm trying to think the last time. Yeah. Because hoodoo has a lot of roots in Louisiana too. So does voodoo. Trying to figure out the last film I saw that represented hoodoo. But she does root work. That's. That's really what hoodoo is. She knows how to protect smoke the smoke and stack the smokestack twins. I can't talk. Annie has a level of discernment and intuition that we could all learn from. The whole film, to me is all about the danger of not having discernment. Right. Especially when your intuition cannot reach you. We cannot let everybody in. I personally believe one of the main lessons sinners was trying to tell us was in the cookout. Ain't no cookout. The cookout is closed. Put the ribs back, take the hot dogs, put em back in a cooler. Pick it up, pick the blanket. There is no cookout. Cookout canceled. Not postponed. Never. We're not having it because. What is the cookout anyway? Why is the cookout part of black American vernacular? Let's see. Come on let's get there. Let's get there. I'm trying to figure out of another group of people on the planet who has a metaphorical event that is specifically for the members of that group that they consistently imagine inviting outsiders to. Maybe I'm ignorant, but I've never come across another version of a cookout. There's no cultural equivalent for any other group. If you know one, please let me know so that I can be informed. But I've never heard of a cookout. I mean, I've had personal invites from people, right? Like, one of my friends is Jewish. And when I moved into my new house, she gave me a mezuzah. Mezuzah. I hope I'm saying it right, like a feather. And I put it outside my door, and she offered to pray with us and bless the house and all this. And that's what I have seen in my life, is people, like individuals, will share their culture with you, but I don't. I've never heard of a cookout for another group of people. So black people have this thing of a cookout. And I think it's indicative of all the ways in which black Americans and black people, blackness as a concept, always feels pressured to be inclusive and to be open and to let everybody in. And one thing I walked away from watching Annie in Sinners is do not let everybody in your space. You need to have the discernment to know who is for you and who is not for you. It is literally the difference of life and death, because Annie's intuition literally saved their lives. When Annie was in the juke joint and she had a feeling that Cornbread turned, she looked at him and she knew something was up immediately, and she trusted it. Annie didn't look at Kornbread and go, wait a minute. Maybe I'm projecting. Wait a minute. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe. Mm. I don't know if I think I see what I see. And maybe. Mm. Mm. Annie didn't do all that. Annie trusted her intuition, and her intuition was the difference between life and death. And I would argue for those of us that have seen the film is that if it wasn't for, and I'm just quoting what Ryan Coogler put in the movie, if it wasn't for the non black character, they were specifically women, but the non black characters in the film, like Grace, like Mary, I think that Annie would have been able to keep. Keep all of them alive and safe in the juke joint. And the only reason they didn't because they were compromised by outsiders. Clock it. Annie looked at Cornbread and she realized immediately that something about him was different. And she trusted that intuition. And then she went in there and she told them, get the garlic right now. Everybody take a piece of garlic and Pearline. Don't you say nothing, girl. Oh, I don't much eat garlic, girl. You gonna eat garlic today, huh? You gonna eat this clove right now? Okay. Period. Nobody questioned Annie. Nobody said, are you sure? Nobody said, but I think no. Everybody got on code. Why? Because everybody knew that Annie's intuition and discernment was not to be fucked with. Do not ever underestimate the intuition of a woman who is spiritually grounded and connected. Okay. Message. And Annie has gotten to the point with her intuition where she trusts it. And this is the message I want for us. When your intuition is speaking to you, do you have a relationship with your intuition? Do you shut it down? Do you go, I don't know? Yeah, well, I don't know. I've been thinking that. But a lot of us are spending too much time looking for the why. We're trying to make sense of things that do not make sense in the realm of spirit, in the realm of intuition. Everything is not gonna make sense in the present, Mom. Maybe it'll make sense later. It's not for you to make sense and to have this whole jury and judge and all this. Your job is to trust your intuition. Your job is to listen to your intuition and allow that intuition to help you take aligned action. Annie did not play around. She knew danger was afoot. She listened to her intuition and her intuition led her to steps that were would make them safer as a unit. Now, it didn't work because other people messed up the plan, but Annie's intuition was on point. All right. And now let me see if I miss anything. Let me check my notes. Mm, mm, mm. There's one more thing, right? Last thing I wanna mention is the idea of. Of not letting everybody in in the sense of permission. Again, these characters are black characters inside a juke joint with danger outside. The danger outside cannot get inside without your permission. The vampires in the film could not just come in there. They needed you to say they needed you to invite them in. You to need tangent. Cause this makes me think of a story when I was in college. I just be doing shit. I'm the girl. For better or for worse. I invited my friends to a comedy show by a hypnotist. So it was like. It was like half. He was gonna do half hypnosis half, like, comedy and my. I'm sure. I'm sure. Because as I said, my memory is not the best. But I am sure that I am the one who encouraged all my friends to go. So we get here, it's a comedy club. It's evening. Obviously, my group of friends, they're black women. They're not getting hypnotized. Sorry. I know there's a stigma in the black community, and I get it. Cause it is discernment. They're like, I'm not about to just let nobody hypnotize me. I don't know him. Da, da, da. I was like, okay. And he said, well, if anyone wants to volunteer to be hypnotized. Because, like, that was the whole show. He would get some people to be hypnotized, and that would be part of the comedy. Like, we would do silly things or whatever. And so he was like, if anybody volunteers, not only are you gonna get free drink tickets. And I was like, ooh, free drinks. Yes. Come on. Amaretto sour. But you will also get a bunch of positivity implanted in your subconscious at the end. Like, I will. You will be able to overcome your goals faster after this. You'll be more positive. You'll have more motivation or whatever. And so I was like, whatever. That's all you need to say. I get motivation and I get an amaretto sour. Silent. So I signed up to be hypnotized. And guess what? Now, this guy was a very good hypnotist because I ended up getting hypnotized. And it was very. It was actually one of the funnest things I've ever done, because you bypass that part of you that overthinks everything. I didn't go. Like, he said, it's really hot. I didn't go. But how can it be hot? I'm inside. The AC's on. Really logically, I just was like, oh. And all of a sudden, I would feel really hot. Like, it really was real. People who are getting hypnotized in those comedy settings are not acting. It felt so real. Like, one time he said, okay, you guys are all on Jerry Springer, and this is you, and you're cheating with him. And I really felt betrayed, like, by this stranger that I didn't know. But anyway, so he was good at what he does. Even for him having this much skill and talent. The first thing he said was he took us to the side in a private room, and he said, I cannot hypnotize you against your will. You have to give Me permission, express consent to be hypnotized. And you told us exactly what we were going to do and what we were not going to do. And then I'm not going to do this, I'm not going to do this. Da, da, da, Right? And we had to say yes. Not only did we had to like sign a waiver or whatever, but we had to actually tell him yes. Because he's like, if you do not agree, the hypnotizing will not work. I could try all my might. And I can't hypnotize you against your. And that reminds me of the movie because the vampires could not come in against their will. They could not just open the door. You have discernment and you have, you have the ability to control who enters your space energetically. Do you think about them all the time? Do they just pop into your subconscious uninvited, emotionally take them emotions back? You can set up some emotional boundaries and spiritually. Right. And I was watching sinners thinking that is the takeaway that we. That your true power lies, especially for women who have been talked out of their intuition for centuries, that a part of our power is latent, just sitting in that, that place where it's allowing, where it's like asking you to look into it and get a higher level of agency. I control who enters my space. I control where I go. I control what I eat, I control what I do. And now as an Aries, I'm here to say this. A part of my spiritual maturity came when I grasped this concept, which I'm still learning and relearning right now, because it goes along with discipline. And I think as an Aries, the unevolved Aries, the immature Aries is forever a toddler, forever a teen, forever wanting to be rebellious and not having structure and doing what I want. I don't want anybody to tell me what to do, et cetera, et cetera. But growing up, I'm learning that that discipline is actually discernment because I am controlling what circ. Like let's say working out, for example.
- [37:17]
Ryan Seacrest
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- [37:45]
Sheila Marie
21/ terms and conditions apply. I am showing myself how much I love myself by staying consistent on my workout regimen because I know that when I have a healthy body, I have a healthy mind, and I can be in touch with my intuition more. It's not a punishment. It's actually me getting into. I can't get to my aligned action if I don't do the things that I'm supposed to do. And I can't do the things I'm supposed to do if I don't have discernment. Because a lot of us are busy doing a lot of busy work, doing things for other people to distract ourselves from doing the aligned action, to distract ourselves from listening to our intuition, to distract ourselves from exercising the discernment that we have in us. Can I get an amen? Amen. Thank you. All right, so I think that's it. That's it. Discernment is not optional. As we've seen in Annie's case, discernment is survival. And let me see if there's anything else that I want to say. Hold on. That's it. Okay, that's it. That's what I want to leave you with today. All right, guys, if you take something from me, take, take. Don't let everybody into your space. You hold. You got the power now. Come on. What was it? Leticia? Letitia? If anybody remembers Lovecraft, you remember that we got the power now. Follow your intuition. Follow. And don't. And don't. Follow it only when it makes sense. Let your intuition speak with you. Practice following your intuition even before you understand why. Because intuition is knowing something strongly, even if you don't know why. And done is better than perfect. You see, this was a shit show, but here we are. We did it, and it's done. I hope you enjoyed this episode, and as we close out this season, it's bittersweet, but we gotta do it. I just want to say how deeply proud I am. I'm proud of the episodes. I'm proud of the guests that we had on the podcast. I'm also proud of my team. Thank you to the entire team that made this possible. Thank you to all the folks at ember20 for making this possible. Thank you to Shelly. Thank you to my producer, Sirod, my editor, Lisa, my assistant, Rachelle, and everyone who put blood, sweat, and tears into make this a reality. I so appreciate you. And most of all, thank you to you. Thank you for all the listeners. Thank you for the downloads. Thank you for making us chart three times during our very first season. Thank you so much. And I'm very proud of what I put out. I'm deeply proud of the guests, of the top topics, of the integrity behind the conversations. And when I think about it, they weren't just conversations. They were invitations. Invitations to think differently, to feel more honestly, and to be more fully ourselves. And da, da, da, da. Drumroll, please. Season two was already on the horizon. That's right. There will be a season two of Unruly with Sheila. There's going to be more guests, more depth, more healing, more fun, and obviously more unruliness. Okay. And I can't share exactly what. There's a big development in the works that I can't name just yet. But just know I'll be seeing you soon. Hint, hint. Thank you for listening, thank you for believing, and thank you for growing alongside me. And with that said, I just want to say, done may be better than perfect, but this felt just right. Thank you for being unruly with me, and I'll see you next season.