Podcast Summary: UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE
Episode 6: "Everyone's Burnout, and it's Killing Us" ft. Madison Utendahl
Release Date: November 12, 2024
Introduction
In Episode 6 of UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE, host Shelah Marie delves deep into the pervasive issue of burnout, particularly focusing on its impact on Black women. Joining her is Madison Utendahl, a cultural powerhouse known for her work with iconic brands like the Museum of Ice Cream and her advocacy for mental health and wellness. Madison brings personal insights and practical tools to help listeners navigate and combat burnout in today’s fast-paced, digitally-dominated world.
Guest Introduction and Personal Experiences
Shelah Marie begins by introducing Madison Utendahl’s impressive background, highlighting her role in creating calming products like her signature candle and her advocacy for mental wellness. Madison shares a light-hearted anecdote about taking an unplanned day off post-election to watch "Real Housewives," emphasizing the importance of allowing oneself to rest without guilt.
Notable Quote:
"I took every meeting that I canceled on Wednesday and Tuesday this morning, and I don't feel bad about it at all."
— Madison Utendahl [03:32]
Understanding Burnout
Madison opens up about her personal battle with burnout, detailing her struggle with chronic pancreatitis and how it was misdiagnosed by numerous white doctors until she consulted a Black gastroenterologist. This experience was a turning point, leading her to recognize the profound connections between burnout, self-worth, and systemic issues like capitalism and white supremacy.
Key Points:
- Burnout as a Health Crisis: Madison’s chronic illness was a direct result of overwork and stress, common manifestations of burnout.
- Systemic Factors: She discusses how societal structures keep Black women and other marginalized groups perpetually tired, limiting their agency and well-being.
Notable Quote:
"One of the biggest ways... we can actually fight back against white supremacy and misogyny is by being rested."
— Madison Utendahl [09:14]
Practical Tools for Combating Burnout
Madison highlights several tools and practices that have been instrumental in her journey to reclaim her peace and prevent burnout:
- Insight Timer App [05:40]: A multifaceted app offering meditation, guided talks, and music tailored for self-care.
- Oura Ring App [07:15]: A wearable device that tracks sleep and activity, providing actionable insights to optimize daily routines.
- Brick Magnet [26:48]: A physical tool to block distracting apps like TikTok, Pinterest, and Instagram, helping to enforce digital boundaries.
Notable Quote:
"These are moments of rest that we do not give ourselves. And I think we totally misunderstand when we say take that time."
— Madison Utendahl [22:28]
Rest as Resistance
The conversation delves into the concept of "Rest is Resistance," a philosophy championed by Tricia Hersey. Madison explains how taking intentional rest acts as a form of resistance against oppressive systems that exploit Black women’s labor and well-being.
Key Points:
- Privilege and Rest: Acknowledges that the ability to rest is a privilege, yet emphasizes its necessity for everyone, regardless of socioeconomic status.
- Systemic Oppression: Highlights how systems like white supremacy and capitalism perpetuate exhaustion to maintain control over marginalized groups.
Notable Quote:
"If we don't learn to carve moments of rest, it doesn't have to be a vacation, it could literally mean, I'm going to put my phone away tonight at 8:00."
— Madison Utendahl [24:30]
Burnout’s Societal Impact
Madison draws a parallel between widespread burnout and significant societal events, notably attributing burnout and overwork as contributing factors to Donald Trump's election victory.
Key Points:
- Election Insights: Explains how the fatigue and exhaustion of working-class individuals led to a desire for simple, immediate solutions, which were proffered by Trump's campaign promises.
- Voter Behavior: Emphasizes that burnout can drive people to make decisions that prioritize immediate relief over long-term well-being, often with detrimental outcomes.
Notable Quote:
"Burnout and overwork and exhaustion is how Trump won the election."
— Madison Utendahl [28:25]
Digital Boundaries and Technology’s Role
The discussion shifts to the omnipresence of technology and its role in exacerbating burnout. Madison shares her strategies for managing digital consumption to protect her mental health.
Key Points:
- Defining Moments: Madison recounts how her career in social media strategy led to an unhealthy relationship with her phone, recognizing the need for boundaries.
- Practical Boundaries: Utilizes tools like the Brick magnet to block distracting apps and sets her phone to airplane mode at night to prevent the start of her day by external pressures.
Notable Quote:
"If you can eliminate judgment, self-judgment, self-guilt, and shame, most of the times urgency culture is not relevant to you."
— Madison Utendahl [42:20]
Social Media and Personal Privacy
Madison and Shelah explore the balance between vulnerability and privacy in the age of social media. Madison encourages selective sharing to maintain personal sanctity and prevent the erasure of private identity.
Key Points:
- Sacred Spaces: Advocates for keeping certain aspects of life private to retain a sense of self.
- Influence vs. Privacy: Discusses how over-sharing can dilute personal taste and originality, suggesting intentional sharing practices.
Notable Quote:
"What remains sacred for me then? You can post the parties, but let's keep the ceremony and the intimate moments with my friends and family."
— Madison Utendahl [47:38]
Loss of Personal Taste and Originality
Madison laments how technology and social media have homogenized personal tastes, making it challenging to maintain original thought and individuality.
Key Points:
- Cultural Homogenization: Observes that trends on social media lead to uniformity, diminishing unique personal expressions.
- Encouraging Originality: Encourages listeners to nurture their personal taste by experimenting and allowing themselves to dream creatively.
Notable Quote:
"We've lost our ability to check and question these things. It's like, what if I like this? What do I gain and learn from wearing it?"
— Madison Utendahl [55:32]
Toolkit for Listeners
Madison shares actionable tips to help listeners create and maintain healthy boundaries, prevent burnout, and foster personal growth.
- Affirmations [59:01]: Develop personalized affirmations to reinforce self-worth and positive mindset.
- Post-It Reminders [59:26]: Place affirmations around your workspace to serve as constant reminders.
- Reading [59:45]: Emphasizes the importance of reading as a tool for knowledge and personal development.
Notable Quote:
"What decision would I make?"
— Madison Utendahl [36:52]
Community Call-In: Making Friends in Your 30s
A listener asks Shelah for advice on building meaningful friendships in one's 30s. Madison responds with strategies to foster authentic connections:
Advice Given:
- Self-Understanding: Encourage self-awareness to identify what you seek in friendships.
- Take Chances in Real Life: Engage in hobbies and activities (e.g., travel clubs) that align with your interests.
- Join Community Groups: Recommend specific groups like No Madness Tribe for travel enthusiasts to meet like-minded individuals.
Notable Quote:
"Spend some time getting to know yourself. Take some chances and engage your hobbies in a bold way."
— Madison Utendahl [66:44]
Closing Remarks
Shelah Marie wraps up the episode by reinforcing the importance of setting digital boundaries and prioritizing self-care to combat burnout. She encourages listeners to apply the practical tools discussed and to stay connected with the Unruly community.
Final Quote:
"Please subscribe, like the episode. All of those things go into some type of machine, technological, AI thing and help us keep going."
— Shelah Marie [69:15]
Madison provides her contact details for further engagement, urging listeners to connect via Instagram and her Substack newsletter, Burnt.
Key Takeaways
- Burnout is a Multifaceted Issue: Rooted in personal struggles and systemic oppression, particularly affecting Black women.
- Rest as a Form of Resistance: Intentional rest is essential for personal well-being and as a counteraction to oppressive systems.
- Digital Boundaries are Crucial: Tools and strategies like Insight Timer, Oura Ring, and Brick magnets can help manage digital consumption.
- Preserve Personal Taste and Originality: Maintain individuality by selectively sharing on social media and nurturing personal interests.
- Practical Strategies for Self-Care: Implement daily affirmations, use reminder tools, and prioritize reading for continuous personal growth.
- Building Meaningful Relationships: Foster authentic friendships by engaging in activities aligned with personal interests and practicing self-awareness.
Resources Mentioned
- Insight Timer App: Insight Timer
- Oura Ring App: Oura Ring
- Brick Magnet: Brick
- Madison Utendahl’s Substack: Burnt
- No Madness Tribe: No Madness Tribe Facebook Group
Stay Connected:
For more transformative conversations and practical wellness tools, subscribe to UNRULY WITH SHELAH MARIE on your preferred podcast platform. Connect with Shelah Marie and Madison Utendahl on Instagram and explore their resources to continue your journey towards self-love and holistic wellness.