Next Unsub Tour, Tony Gets Worse & Is Project Hail Mary Worth The Hype? | Unsubscribe Podcast 259

Summary

Unsubscribe Podcast #259 Summary

Episode Title: Next Unsub Tour, Tony Gets Worse & Is Project Hail Mary Worth The Hype?
Date: April 12, 2026
Hosts/Guests: Eli DoubleTap, Brandon Herrera, Donut Operator, The Fat Electrician, King Trout (Cody), Connor

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Episode Overview

This episode of Unsubscribe is a classic "boys' hangout" podcast packed with stories about touring, YouTube/content creator woes, current events in politics (including campaign drama), and a huge, chaotic debate about new movies. The crew tackles major developments in Brandon's congressional run, infamous internet pranks, wild Star Wars and Batman hot takes, Project Hail Mary’s movie adaptation, and plenty of hilarious, meandering tangents. They also discuss plans for the next live tour, swatting, social media, and content creation struggles, always maintaining their signature irreverent tone.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Banter, Gifts, and Whiskey Tasting (00:30–06:30)

• The hosts open with lighthearted banter about fast food (fake McDonald’s meals tie-in), running jokes about each other, and gift exchanges.
• Sho returns from Ireland, shares red breast whiskey, and the gang banters about Irish culture and drinking.
• Notable exchange on how having a quality bottle of whiskey trumps their first furniture in adulthood.
• Memorable Moment:
  Brandon: “21 years—longer than most IKEA furniture would actually last.” (02:38)

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2. Weddings, Groomsmen, and Friends Growing Up (06:30–10:30)

• Cody (King Trout) announces his upcoming wedding, designates the boys as groomsmen, and discusses their unusual journey as friends.
• Story about Delance, their camera guy, taking a very Christian date to an Unsubscribe live show—everyone agrees this was a bold move.
• Some nostalgia/lore about wild times at live shows.

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3. The Painful Truths of Content Creation (10:31–14:30)

• Candid discussion about the “creator curse”: the videos they love and pour effort into almost always perform worst with audiences.
• Brandon details an expensive, cinematic intro for an AK50 video ($10k to produce) that viewers skipped.
• Other hosts relate, agreeing the most passionate projects often tank, while throwaway content blows up.
• Quote:
  King Trout: “The most passionate videos—those are the ones that suck on YouTube. But we just put out...slop. And those are the 1 out of 10.” (13:25)

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4. Formula 4 Racing School and Upcoming Giveaways (14:30–16:30)

• The crew discusses an upcoming Formula 4 racing school event (with licenses as prizes for veterans).
• Jokes about Cody drinking (“road Sodi”) in a Formula 4 car.
• They reflect on NASCAR’s moonshine-running origins.

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5. Swatting: Serious Talk & Legislative Efforts (17:30–19:50)

• Cody is working on a new "Crime is Fun" episode about swatting, sharing that he’s been swatted five times.
• Brandon reveals he's actively working on draft legislation to increase penalties, saying swatting should be “attempted murder.”
• They agree it's extremely dangerous, endangering both those targeted and law enforcement.
• Quote:
  Brandon: “For that just to be a slap on the wrist and not be investigated is crazy.” (18:25)

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6. Brandon’s Congressional Campaign Drama

(19:50–24:30)

• Update: Brandon’s campaign for Texas' 23rd Congressional District is going well; he discusses the challenges of running for office.
• A fresh sex scandal lands on his opponent, Tony Gonzalez, including released text messages and pattern of predatory behavior.
• They lampoon Tony's attempts at damage control.
• Notable Exchange:
  Donut: “12 times? How do you ask after the first?” (21:10)
  Brandon: “His game did not improve.” (21:07)
  Eli: “It’s a shame running for Congress doesn’t involve actually running.” (24:36)

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7. YouTube, Historical Giants, and Wild Tangents (24:30–31:00)

• Eli tells the story of Peter Francisco, a giant of the American Revolution, and his legendary feats (six-foot broadsword, carrying an 1100-lb cannon). (25:04–27:13)
• Brandon references Magnus, a strength/fitness YouTuber.
• Banter about doing a "Babe Ruth Diet day," reading Ruth’s absurd meal plan (pint of whiskey for breakfast included).
• Memorable Quote:
  Brandon: “So the pint is just for breakfast?” (30:21)

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8. Social Media Trolling & Rage-Baiting (34:14–41:00)

• The crew derides Instagram’s descent into “comment section anarchy,” referencing classic internet vote-trolling (e.g., Bodie McBoatface) and rage-baiting as favorite pastimes.
• Laments about how wholesome content gets drowned out by chaos.

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9. Serious Foreign Policy: Iran & US Military Interventions (39:03–44:32)

• Brandon shares his stance: he wants America to win any conflict it engages in, but is strongly anti-interventionist.
• Describes the nuance that's lost in online political discourse: You can support the military while opposing new wars.
• The group discusses the need for politicians to focus more on domestic concerns like inflation and the economy.
• Quote:
  Brandon: “If you want to help combat veterans, stop making more of them for no reason.” (39:44)

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10. Digital Currency & The Decline of the Dollar (43:45–46:06)

• They discuss the possibility of U.S. government pushing stablecoins as a new dominant currency, offloading U.S. debt globally and the risk of a dystopian, centrally controlled digital currency.
• Cautionary notes about government overreach and comparisons to economic collapses like Weimar Germany.
• Quote:
  Eli: “If we get to this point where there’s one global currency and it’s all digital, it could be a nightmare...” (45:07)
• Reflections on COVID-era government actions being “unthinkable” a year before they happened.

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11. Philanthropy & Autism Fundraising (46:06–48:18)

• The Unsubscribe audience has raised over $100k for autism organizations through merchandise.
• Good-natured banter about earning an “R-word pass” for their fundraising efforts.

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12. Kids, Beanie Babies, and Parenting Jokes (50:30–53:00)

• They joke about having more kids (referred to as “Beanie Babies”), lawn-mowing as child labor, and family dynamics.
• Ongoing riff of naming kids after chores.

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13. Next Live Tour Cities, Midwest Lore, and USO Show Dreams (53:13–56:41)

• Debates over cities for future live shows (Nashville, San Diego, Charleston, etc.).
• Recounting wild Iowa shows: “Iowa smells like a bowling alley...and corn.”
• Discuss possibility of a USO show at a military base.

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14. Combat Injuries, Purple Hearts, and Military Anecdotes (57:05–61:13)

• The crew shares stories of injuries, verified and otherwise, and PK/award discrepancies.
• They reference ROTC cadets getting Purple Hearts after stopping a shooter at Old Dominion.
• Notable Moment:
  Eli: “Did they get like, what happened? I didn’t know the details...” (59:44)

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15. Book Projects (61:51–64:17)

• Eli is publishing a ten-part kids' book series inspired by WWII alternate history—like a Hardy Boys/Man in the High Castle/Terminator mashup, starring his sons.
• Each book features real historical heroes whose timeline is threatened by time-traveling Nazis and Japanese—then corrected by the protagonists.

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16. Project Hail Mary: Movie Debate

(66:04–77:29)

• Group reviews the new Project Hail Mary adaptation (mild spoilers).
• Eli praises scientific touches (e.g., aliens without vision not discovering radiation); Brandon and Donut highlight the meticulous science and practical effects.
• Connor goes on a passionate rant: calls it a “mid” (average) film, pokes fun at loose plot points, lampoons overenthusiastic fanbase, and snarks at puppetry.
• Quotes:
  Eli: “This entire movie is Ryan Gosling meeting an autistic rock in space.” (66:09)
  Connor: “The most 5 out of 10 film I’ve ever seen in my life. Completely average.” (69:36)
  Brandon: “Wrong opinion. Objectively wrong.” (69:46)
• Heated, hilarious arguments with call-backs to Star Wars, Avatar, Interstellar, and the importance of “puppetry.”

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17. Movie Hot Takes: Star Wars & Batman

(77:30–95:00)

• Hysterical debate on the quality of various Star Wars films, practical effects, and the best/worst uses of puppetry (including the infamous puppet Yoda in Phantom Menace).
• Tangents about childhood nostalgia (Doritos, green ketchup, toys), internet marketing, and Jar Jar Binks as a Sith Lord.
• Move to Batman: The crew pokes fun at the franchise for using the same “save Gotham from a bomb” plot in every Nolan film.
• They lampoon logistics of Batman “painting” his bat symbol in gasoline.
• Connor’s takes: “Interstellar is fantastic. Science is acceptable.” (76:57)

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18. Closing Chaos & Final Thoughts (95:00–100:00)

• The group continues picking apart Batman plots, local policing decisions, and improbable movie logic with escalating ridiculousness.
• Bar fight stories and callback jokes about “mid” bar fights (“But the puppetry was amazing!”).
• Eli pokes fun at Connor’s ranting style: “The goth barista at the coffee shop is impressed with your opinion.”
• Episode ends with Cody (KingTrout) wrapping up and everyone saying their goodbyes with zero loss in energy.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Content Creator Curse:
  “You shit something out and you're like, I don't give a _ about this. Here. Enjoy your slop. And then it blows up.” – Brandon (13:25)
• On Swatting:
  “That’s fucking attempted murder. Not only that, but especially if you’re swatting somebody like us, you’re putting those law enforcement in harm’s way.” – Brandon (17:54)
• On Political Scandals:
  “12 times. How do you ask after the first?” – Donut (21:10)
• On Digital Currency:
  “If we get to this point where there’s one global currency and it’s all digital, it could be a nightmare.” – Eli (45:07)
• On Project Hail Mary:
  “This entire movie is Ryan Gosling meeting an autistic rock in space.” – Eli (66:09)

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The Vibe: Comedic, Candid, and a Touch of Chaos

• The tone remains thoroughly irreverent with a mix of serious discussions and relentless inside jokes.
• The group excels at weaving personal stories, current events, and pop culture into a tapestry of roasting, camaraderie, and rapid-fire tangents.
• They often blur the lines between insightful and absurd, ensuring there’s something for fans of wild humor, policy, and nerd arguments alike.

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Timestamps: Important Segments

• 00:30–06:30: Opening gifts & Irish whiskey
• 06:30–10:30: Weddings and old stories
• 10:31–14:30: YouTube/Content Creator Curse
• 14:30–16:30: Racing event plans
• 17:30–19:50: Swatting discussion
• 19:50–24:30: Brandon’s campaign and opponent’s scandals
• 24:30–31:00: American giants, “Babe Ruth Diet,” and content tangents
• 34:14–41:00: Social media trolling/anecdotes
• 39:03–44:32: Foreign policy & digital currency talk
• 46:06–48:18: Autism fundraising & philanthropy
• 50:30–53:00: Beanie Babies/kids/life
• 53:13–56:41: Live tour plans & Midwest lore
• 57:05–61:13: Combat injuries, Purple Hearts, and military stories
• 61:51–64:17: Eli’s alternate-history kids’ book project
• 66:04–77:29: Project Hail Mary movie debate
• 77:30–95:00: Star Wars/Batman hot takes & nostalgia
• 95:00–end: Bar fights, movie logistics, and group sign-off

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Final Thoughts

Perfect for fans seeking a mix of current events, candid stories, creative process talk, and absurdist pop culture debates—with enough wild digressions to keep things unpredictable. If you love authentic friend group chemistry and don't mind the occasional deep dive into alternate history or why a movie’s puppetry does or does not matter, this episode is for you.

Transcript

[Host]

K Pop Demon Hunters, Saja Boy's Breakfast Meal and Hunt Trick's meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja boys could take

[Brandon Rare]

breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share.

[Connor]

No, it's our honor.

[Donut Operator]

It is our larger honor.

[Host]

No, really, stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side.

[Donut Operator]

Ba da ba ba ba.

[Brandon Rare]

And participate in McDonald's while supplies last.

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah. How is your run going? Are you outrunning your opponent?

[Brandon Rare]

The run's going very well.

[Eli Double Tap]

Heavy competition.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon Rare]

Don't worry about me.

[King Trout]

God, this is gonna be the greatest time we've ever seen.

[Brandon Rare]

I believe that was dad lore and a felony.

[Connor]

It's a montage. Shut the up and let me montage. Shut the up and let me finish. You're welcome. I invited myself.

[Donut Operator]

Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous. And Brandon, his hair is fucking fabulous donut. And there's a fat electrician.

[Brandon Rare]

Welcome to Unsubscribe.

[Donut Operator]

Are we ready to pop the top? Ready?

[Brandon Rare]

We top popping?

[Donut Operator]

Yep. 3, 2, 1.

[Brandon Rare]

Don't make that noise. Hi, everyone.

[King Trout]

Welcome to the unsubscribed podcast. I'm joined today by Eli Double Tap with the sword, Nick, fat electrician, Brandon Rarer, and myself, donut operator. Thank you so much for being here. We got a boys podcast going on today.

[Donut Operator]

It's the gang. We got everyone here. We're excited.

[Brandon Rare]

Everyone's definitely not tired.

[Connor]

Not at all.

[Brandon Rare]

The people here definitely just didn't do two podcasts in a row.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's fine,

[Donut Operator]

but we get a. This will be a fun one. These are nice and relaxed. We just opened up a whole bunch of presents from y'.

[Brandon Rare]

All.

[Donut Operator]

That was an amazing experience. Thank you. Like all of you, we'll get them hung as time progresses.

[Brandon Rare]

We realized half of you were illiterate.

[Donut Operator]

I'm like, no. Show got back from Ireland, and she brought us some red breast, single pot, still Irish Whiskey aged for 21 years. Sho, get over here.

[King Trout]

Red sho. Red breast.

[Brandon Rare]

You're not allowed to drink whiskey.

[Eli Double Tap]

I'm not allowed.

[Brandon Rare]

Why?

[Eli Double Tap]

I'm banned from whiskey because I buy people.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, you're taking a shot with us, dude.

[Donut Operator]

This is holy. This is actually, like. I. I thought that was. That's wood. Like.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, wow.

[Connor]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap]

Damn.

[Donut Operator]

That is a super nice.

[Brandon Rare]

I mean, yeah. Damn.

[Eli Double Tap]

21 years than most IKEA furniture would actually I was.

[Donut Operator]

I was just thinking that show.

[Eli Double Tap]

I didn't have furniture nicer than that till I was like, 28.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, I hate. Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap]

Am I wrong?

[Donut Operator]

That is the truth. This cost more than a couch at 28. I have never had this one.

[Brandon Rare]

I've never heard of it, to be honest.

[Donut Operator]

Sure. You can still come say hi. And how was Ireland? Why did you go visit?

[Eli Double Tap]

What did you do in Ireland? She drank. What else do they do there?

[Donut Operator]

Fight and drink potatoes.

[Eli Double Tap]

I went to Ireland and I drank.

[Brandon Rare]

Did you visit the Tato Man?

[Eli Double Tap]

I did.

[Brandon Rare]

Potato man.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh. Did you bring any Tato man chips? I have some at home. I can bring you some. Oh, my God.

[Donut Operator]

They taste like Nick's dip.

[Eli Double Tap]

They're delicious.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, that's. Yeah.

[Brandon Rare]

I forgot this incident.

[Eli Double Tap]

That's one of the top moments in unsub history.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, I. Yeah. Who wants a tasty?

[King Trout]

We'll do it. I'll try tasty of one of them.

[Donut Operator]

We'll do little tasties and show.

[King Trout]

This is directly from Island.

[Donut Operator]

You're good.

[Brandon Rare]

From what?

[King Trout]

I don't know. I feel like it's whimsical and sweet.

[Donut Operator]

Also, Sho was highly impressed with Connor's Irish accent.

[Connor]

Oh, yeah, Sho did that.

[King Trout]

You thought his accent.

[Connor]

No, she mocked me because I said three instead of tree. Yeah. Now duck down, point in the camera, and give us your best American accent.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, I thought you were going to say, say

[Brandon Rare]

due to YouTube rules.

[Connor]

Beep that.

[Brandon Rare]

I know. I think she can say it because she's Irish with YouTube rules.

[King Trout]

Right.

[Connor]

Your best American accent. Point, look in the camera and say, trout. Go yourself.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, God, no.

[Connor]

Yeah, yeah, just do it.

[Donut Operator]

Just be like, hey, what do we sound like? Go yourself. Yeah. See? Good Texas accent.

[Connor]

Give us your best.

[Brandon Rare]

You got to try it. You've been around Americans for how long now?

[Connor]

Can't mock my Irish accent and not do an English.

[Eli Double Tap]

Aren't you getting made fun of by Irish people? Cuz you're losing your accent, though.

[Donut Operator]

You're American now. You have a. They say you're American.

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

That's awesome.

[Brandon Rare]

Hell, yeah.

[Donut Operator]

She's not.

[Brandon Rare]

No, we're deporting her very shortly.

[Eli Double Tap]

Understand me half the time.

[Connor]

Slantia.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, Slantia is Tancha. Health and wealth.

[Connor]

Whatever.

[Brandon Rare]

She said Tonka.

[King Trout]

Tonka trucks.

[Connor]

Tonka truck.

[Donut Operator]

That is. Wow.

[Brandon Rare]

That is shooting whiskey.

[King Trout]

All right.

[Brandon Rare]

That's very good.

[Eli Double Tap]

What?

[King Trout]

It's really smooth, Joe.

[Donut Operator]

Thank you so much.

[Brandon Rare]

What's the alcohol content of that gonna be high?

[Donut Operator]

Because it's 8 million 46 that.

[Brandon Rare]

Okay, I feel the burn now.

[Donut Operator]

That Is amazing.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, that's very good.

[Donut Operator]

And then with vanilla and sherry.

[Connor]

Nuttiness.

[Donut Operator]

Dude, that is actually what they say is the exact same taste.

[King Trout]

Yeah. Dude, I'm gonna eat potatoes and hit my wife.

[Brandon Rare]

Well, you got the right shirt.

[Connor]

It's tradition. Tree. Tree Show.

[Donut Operator]

Thank you so much.

[King Trout]

Thank you, Joe.

[Donut Operator]

This is delicious.

[Brandon Rare]

Shows. She's T minus 10 minutes from hitting someone,

[Donut Operator]

she goes home and beats Dave. Yeah, well, the house not clean.

[Brandon Rare]

Dave, Dave, just go somewhere and go eat. Just trust me.

[Donut Operator]

Run your fool.

[King Trout]

I'm furiously texting. Dave, come over tonight, buddy. Let's watch a movie.

[Brandon Rare]

Sh. We got you, buddy. It's okay.

[Donut Operator]

Dave, why are your pants still on?

[Connor]

Yeah, Dave.

[Brandon Rare]

Dave, she can't hurt you here.

[Donut Operator]

Just like, stop. Please stop it.

[Connor]

Hey.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, we're all back. Everyone's. We have, what, two more days of chaos? And then are we allowed to say what we're about to do?

[King Trout]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Donut Operator]

What are we about to do, Mr. Cody? Or what are you about to do?

[King Trout]

I'm getting married.

[Brandon Rare]

It should have been me, damn it. Sorry, what was that?

[King Trout]

And then you motherfuckers are my groomsmen. So this is going to be quite the ordeal.

[Brandon Rare]

You have groomed us all for quite some time.

[King Trout]

Yeah, I've been grooming you guys for a long time to come out and drink with me in Charleston, as we haven't done that before.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, twist my arm.

[King Trout]

Oh, no.

[Donut Operator]

Thankfully, it's one thing I haven't done much of is weddings, because this is one thing. Most of my friends never get married, actually. I'm like, oh, yeah. My friends just don't get married a lot of the time. So. Good job, buddy. Breaking the cycle. I like it.

[Brandon Rare]

Hey, about to go to a shitload of weddings, like, in the next month because I don't know if I'm allowed to say that. I'm pretty sure I am, but Delance, my camera guy's getting married.

[Eli Double Tap]

Is he really?

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, yeah. Proud of my boy.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's exciting.

[Brandon Rare]

So I think I'll do more weddings in the next month than I have, like, my entire adult life.

[Donut Operator]

Can you tell the story of where he took.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, I'll keep the details very, very sparse, but he's dating a very, very nice Christian girl. Known her for a long time. He thought it'd be a great idea in the very beginning, when they were, I think, first starting to court, to take her to an unsubscribed live show.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, I remember this.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah. Do you remember?

[Eli Double Tap]

Yes, I remember this.

[Brandon Rare]

We all just kind of went well That's a choice.

[Eli Double Tap]

That is a choice.

[Brandon Rare]

It went about as well as you'd think. But, hey, it worked out. They're getting married.

[Eli Double Tap]

You know that wing place we go to?

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap]

You ever notice that there's, like, a reflective triangle stapled to the tree? Why is that?

[King Trout]

Oh, they. Oh. Oh. Let me tell you this. Recently, the tree's not there anymore.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, they got rid of it.

[King Trout]

The tree's gone.

[Connor]

Oh, right.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

I don't know.

[Eli Double Tap]

This Delance. Delance is the reason they had to make the gigantic oak tree reflective.

[King Trout]

I think it's the reason they removed the oak tree.

[Brandon Rare]

Now I like it's the reason his tailgate's up.

[Donut Operator]

The Bernie Lord that just starts running. You know what I heard this guy took the tree out.

[Eli Double Tap]

The camera guy never dies, but when he tries to keep up, he gets up.

[King Trout]

Hey, you know what? I'm happy about? All of us just finding ourselves in our later years. You're my best man.

[Donut Operator]

Oh.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh.

[King Trout]

So it's. We're gonna have fun, man.

[Connor]

It's gonna be a good time.

[Brandon Rare]

Plus, you know, I mean, Charleston's just a beautiful city in John.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, can't wait. It'll be a good time. Other than travel, that's the only thing.

[King Trout]

I'm like, you, dude.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, I thought you said other than Trout. I'm like the Connor do.

[Donut Operator]

Other than.

[Brandon Rare]

I also heard that I was like,

[Connor]

what the Did I do? I'm the official.

[King Trout]

Yeah, I was about to say, guess who's officiating my wedding.

[Brandon Rare]

King Trout, man.

[Donut Operator]

The myth, the legend.

[Brandon Rare]

That was funny, because weren't you saying that you came to him, like, hey, by the way, like, when you said that you. You were ordained, you could do weddings and shit. Like, was that real?

[King Trout]

Yeah, I came to him and on him. Oh, yeah, it was. It was a.

[Brandon Rare]

He left that part out.

[King Trout]

A very tight deal, and he agreed.

[Donut Operator]

I hate that. Well, okay, I'll do it.

[Brandon Rare]

So anyway, your wife.

[Donut Operator]

So we're looking forward to that. And then. Yeah, now just catch up. Nick's doing videos. You're doing your channel. That's way bigger. I don't even think you were on since Cody's launched.

[Eli Double Tap]

I think I've been on since. No, I think you're just doing shorts to promote it. I haven't. I don't think I was on when you started launching the full episodes yet. I do enjoy it.

[King Trout]

The Crime is Fun.

[Eli Double Tap]

I like it.

[Brandon Rare]

I skimmed through your Pokemon episode the other day. I've yet to sit down and, like, actually dedicate the time but it looked like fun. It looked like a fun little format

[King Trout]

that was one of my favorite ones to do. And it did the worst.

[Eli Double Tap]

That's always how that goes. I'm like, I love this video. It's gonna perform horribly.

[King Trout]

I was so happy talking about how Pokemon.

[Connor]

Like.

[King Trout]

Like how Team Rocket runs an international crime ring. And I was so happy talking about that. But it was the worst one.

[Brandon Rare]

It's the creator curse. Like, no matter who we talk to in any industry, period, you pour your heart and soul into something. You're like, oh, yes, I want to do this project so bad. It's gonna be so fun. This is gonna do great. 10 of 10 every time, just tanks.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's because you get too specific.

[Brandon Rare]

You think, that's it.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's like, you know, hipsters, especially, like, hipsters had their bands that they listened to that nobody'd ever fucking heard of. And then they would make it big, and then all the hipsters wouldn't like them anymore because they sold out and became too mainstream and too popular. It's like, you're so excited because it's. It's too niche.

[Donut Operator]

It's.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's too zoomed in to what you're into. It's not broad enough.

[Donut Operator]

It's.

[Brandon Rare]

I think sometimes it will, because sometimes it's just like, it's my normal shit. But I put a lot of effort into the intro scene or something like that. Like, we actually did, like, a production out of it. I'm like, this is gonna be really fun. And then just bombs.

[Donut Operator]

I know. Exact one you were talking about, too, with, like, the most energy is put into that. And everyone skips it just to get to the meat and potatoes. Even it looks cinematic.

[Brandon Rare]

Which one are you thinking of?

[Donut Operator]

The AK50, right?

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, yeah. Fucking God damn. I forgot about that one, dude.

[Donut Operator]

And it's so well done. And immediately I told Gallagher, they're gonna skip all that. He's like, no, they won't. And the brain's like, they skipped all.

[Brandon Rare]

I have had that Deadpool intro that we did on the big AK 50s finished video. I had that intro in mind for, like, seven years. That was. I was working on that almost as long as the gun. I'm like, I've always wanted to do it. Gallagher Owen knocked it out of the fucking park. Beautiful. Still one of them. I'm most proud of that video, everyone. You could see, like, retention dip. Like, that sequence cost ten grand.

[Donut Operator]

They just went. They just hit that fucking skip button. Okay, Brandon's talking on a iPhone. Let's listen like really? That's. Oh, man. They used my slow mo camera for that. Music was custom built for it.

[Brandon Rare]

So I'm sorry about your Pokemon.

[King Trout]

I mean, that's how it's been, man. Like I've been doing it for a fucking decade now. And something that you can't teach the younger generation. People always ask me, like, how do you get into YouTube? What's the best thing? It's like, it's hard to tell. People like, do what your passion is. When we do the most passionate videos, those are the ones that suck on YouTube. But we just put out like something. I was like, yeah, I just gotta put a video out. And those are like, Those are the 1 out of 10.

[Brandon Rare]

You shit something out and you're like, I don't give a about this. Here. Enjoy your slop. And then it's like fucking blows up.

[Donut Operator]

I can't wait to drive Formula 4 car. So no one watches it next month. I'm so stoked for that.

[Brandon Rare]

It's your turn.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, I know. Like, the guys will have a good time and they'll walk away with national racing license.

[Brandon Rare]

Definitely useful.

[Donut Operator]

So useful. No one's gonna watch it.

[Eli Double Tap]

I don't. Do I have to get one? I don't want one.

[Connor]

No, you don't.

[Eli Double Tap]

It just sounds like something that'll be used against me in court if I ever get a dui, which I don't ever plan on. But it's just like. You know what I mean?

[Brandon Rare]

I was just gonna say it's like

[Eli Double Tap]

having a black belt in karate. He's like, so you knew you were gonna this guy up. You're an expert in this. You should have known better.

[Brandon Rare]

If anything, you could argue that to offset the pe. I'm a trained professional.

[Donut Operator]

Makes it worse, they're giving us a racing school to give away, which is dope. I think one or two. So it's like $50,000 for two. Yeah, we'll do that for veterans for the November when we do that whole thing, we get to give two whole racing schools away. I was like, we'll do it. That's dope.

[Brandon Rare]

We have fun time. You said it's a three day thing. Yeah. I think the hardest part is going to be the gang stays sober for three days traveling.

[Donut Operator]

Oh yeah. Cody just smiled.

[Brandon Rare]

Cody's popping a road Sodi in a fucking Formula 4 car.

[King Trout]

Listen, don't worry about me, guys. We're gonna drive these million dollar race cars. It's gonna be the greatest time you've ever seen.

[Brandon Rare]

Cody, why are you wearing a Camelback.

[King Trout]

Don't worry about me, guys. It's gonna be the greatest time we've ever seen.

[Donut Operator]

Just a beer helmet.

[King Trout]

These Europeans never seen this shit.

[Donut Operator]

Cody.

[Eli Double Tap]

Cody, be the shittiest moonshine runner on the planet. Where's half the products? Why are all the Mason jars open?

[Brandon Rare]

I was just going to say that was the start of nascar. Is running booze.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's running it. Not drinking.

[Donut Operator]

Well, got it here on time. Where is it?

[King Trout]

I think Moody just walked into the house. She was asking me earlier, I want to see biblically accurate Cody. I was like, you don't see that shit ever in your life. You don't see it. You don't see a ever biblically accurate Cody.

[Brandon Rare]

What time frame was that? All right.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, man. God, we can't even tell that story.

[Brandon Rare]

Which one are you thinking?

[Donut Operator]

Cody's.

[King Trout]

Which one?

[Donut Operator]

Live stream.

[Connor]

Oh.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, no.

[Donut Operator]

I know. That's why I said yeah.

[Eli Double Tap]

We don't talk about that story.

[Brandon Rare]

You don't talk about fight club.

[Donut Operator]

We don't talk about fight club.

[Connor]

Now that it's finally spring, I've been outside so much more than you have. Walking around, going for hikes, getting my exercise in.

[Brandon Rare]

He does it for smoke breaks.

[Eli Double Tap]

What were you wearing?

[Connor]

Funny you should ask, Nick. I was wearing Fabletics.

[Eli Double Tap]

Does it smell like smoke?

[Connor]

It smells like something you take a whiff.

[Eli Double Tap]

Smells fabulous.

[Connor]

Thank you. Turns out he loves the smell of my.

[King Trout]

They're soft, breathable, and built to last.

[Brandon Rare]

I think I did actually use Fabletics shorts during my boxing match.

[Connor]

Did you win?

[Brandon Rare]

Yes.

[Connor]

Good. That's all that matters.

[Brandon Rare]

It's because of Fabletics.

[Connor]

I want clothes that actually keep up with my heavily active lifestyle on my smoke breaks. And that's why I signed up as a Fabletics vip.

[Eli Double Tap]

Does that do?

[Connor]

Funny you should ask, Nick.

[Brandon Rare]

It means you actually can get 80% off everything.

[Eli Double Tap]

Doctor gave me that when I was born. May not be long, but at least it's thin.

[Connor]

New VIPs unlock major savings on their first purchase, so trying new pieces feels

[Brandon Rare]

even more doable, which you can do right now. If you go to Fabletics.com, use the code unsub and sign up as a VIP. They're going to do a quick quiz for you and try to figure out your sense of style. If you're one of our audience members, you're going to need help with that. But be sure to select Unsub as the option when you're signing up for your VIP.

[Connor]

It's going to get you 80% off

[Brandon Rare]

and it's a limited time Offer. So don't wait. Go to fabletics.com unsub for 80% off.

[Connor]

Again, that's fabletics.com/subsubbed to get 80% off. As a new VIP member, I think

[King Trout]

my balls would feel nice in these.

[Donut Operator]

We have what you have. What's the next video you're doing right now?

[King Trout]

Working on Crime is Fun. Right now I'm doing swatting. That's what I'm working on. To be the next one. As someone who's been swatted five times, I think this is going to be a good one.

[Donut Operator]

I don't think people realize people have died from it.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, that's something I'm actually looking at working on right now. Like we're. I'm talking with some people right now about drafting legislation for it to be a. For. For federally for it to have a higher penalty. Because in my eyes that's. That's fucking attempted murder. Not only that, but you're putting. Especially if you're swatting somebody like us, you're putting those law enforcement in harm's

[Eli Double Tap]

way directly because I don't know you're coming and you're the cops.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah. You know, knock me at three o' clock in the morning. Like things can get bad fast. And that's just like it's for that just to be a slap on the wrist and to not be investigated is crazy.

[Donut Operator]

That's a wild one.

[King Trout]

Yeah. My project I've been working on for years is I found out who swatted me. They don't know that I know who they are, but I'm gonna go them.

[Brandon Rare]

Well, we're gonna have to bleep that

[Donut Operator]

part or we just cut.

[Brandon Rare]

Why would you hug them?

[Eli Double Tap]

You're gonna have to run for president to pardon your boy.

[Donut Operator]

That's the only bad news, brother. Why are you here? Brandon?

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah. How is your run going? Are you out running your opponent?

[Brandon Rare]

The run's going very well. Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap]

Heavy competition.

[Brandon Rare]

You know, you always fight like you're behind. It's a very Safe Republican seat, R +7. But you know we're going to give it everything.

[Eli Double Tap]

We still feel like we should all band together to help tip the scales in your favor.

[Brandon Rare]

Well, you know, I appreciate all the support I can get.

[King Trout]

You got a huge opposition with friends

[Brandon Rare]

like these, man, I. Things are going very well, Nick. And I greatly appreciate that you're asking as a friend and with no ulterior motive.

[Eli Double Tap]

I know I'm honestly bro.

[King Trout]

The last thing that I want to see like the best man at my wedding, my best friend for years is to be thrown into the Sarlacc pit.

[Brandon Rare]

So how about the Mets, huh?

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, man.

[Brandon Rare]

But yes, my District 23 is going great. Well, now that.

[Donut Operator]

Okay, and Brandon, what do you have to say to that? The.

[Brandon Rare]

The race is going very well, though. Yeah, we're in a pretty safe seat. A lot of interesting developments have been coming forward recently. Actually, on a for real note, at time of recording, like two days ago, another sex scandal hit. Tony. Like, sir, a second sex scandal has hit the congressman. Yeah, it was actually somebody you know, because this last one that he like, told me. Oh, he told everybody. Oh, Brandon's a liar. He's making shit up. I. There was no sexual relationship with me. And the, the staffer who, you know, took her own life. Yeah, Brandon Herrera is making all this up. Oh, wait, nevermind. After he lost the election, he's like, oh, never mind. All that's real. All that's true. And it happened. But it was a one time thing. They just had another woman come out that worked for his, was a staffer of his in 2020, the first time he ever ran. And she came forward with all the text messages and it was rough. Like he asked her for nudes like 12 times within a three day period and she just kept rejecting him.

[Eli Double Tap]

Are. Are the text messages public?

[Brandon Rare]

Yes.

[Eli Double Tap]

I want to just see, to compare and contrast how much his game improved over the course of the years.

[Brandon Rare]

It did not.

[King Trout]

It never improved.

[Brandon Rare]

It did not.

[Donut Operator]

12 times. How do you ask after the first,

[Eli Double Tap]

his wife's gotta know or she's just finding out, in which case he's going through career and marital.

[Brandon Rare]

I can only imagine what that's like.

[Donut Operator]

Babe, I promise this one's a lie.

[Eli Double Tap]

Right?

[Donut Operator]

You got.

[Eli Double Tap]

I will say one of the ballsiest, horrible, but ballsy was Tony Gonzalez going on that one podcaster's podcast and being like, listen, it wasn't because I had an affair with my employee and broke up their marriage and they were separated. That had nothing to do with it. It was because her husband's gay. That was wild.

[Brandon Rare]

I'm dead serious. I hucked my phone into the yard.

[Eli Double Tap]

I've never seen like a more atrocious version of victim blaming ever.

[Brandon Rare]

I was so pissed.

[Eli Double Tap]

It was insane.

[Brandon Rare]

So he. Yeah. Texting her. Not if done right. Something, some, maybe something something is cut off by the text. More moaning. What do you like in the bedroom? What's off limits? Falling asleep, darling? Nope. Good. Like if I come.

[Donut Operator]

So he text.

[Brandon Rare]

If I come over, though, your panties are coming off. His text to again, a Subordinate. Somebody who worked for him.

[Donut Operator]

Well, his anal.

[Brandon Rare]

A lot of. Send me a pic. Send me a pic.

[Donut Operator]

He had a kid on the rave, right?

[Brandon Rare]

That was the thing. Apparently, he's doing all of this while his wife was pregnant with their child.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, I do. I. Yeah, he's.

[Brandon Rare]

He said, great legs. She says, you are persistent with a face palm emoji. He said, I know. I. I know what I want, and I won't stop until I get it. Your picks need to be higher. Like, he.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, he's aggressive.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, it was. It was aggressive.

[King Trout]

Well, I retweeted that, and I was like, imagine him as a master chief, like, at whatever command he's in, and a new E2, like, little chick comes into the command. He was doing the same shit. Like.

[Brandon Rare]

Well, because we've seen there. He was doing it in 2020 when he did. He wasn't even a congressman yet. He was just running for office. This was somebody on his political, like, campaign. And then he did it in 2024 with Regina. And so, like, this is now a pattern of behavior. And there are more that'll probably come out, but we know of about a couple more. So, like, this is just a pattern of behavior. The guy's a sex pest. He's been a sex pest since day one. So again, God forbid, like, who knows what happened during his military career.

[King Trout]

Yeah, dude. Master chief.

[Brandon Rare]

He's a he. Nice.

[Donut Operator]

Well, at least that's going good for you. Will he be able to. Will he be able to drop out completely or resign because he dropped out of the race? But he hasn't resigned, correct?

[Brandon Rare]

He has not resigned. That. That's where things get a lot more complicated. That is still an option. But, yeah, we're just kind of, like, trying to navigate those waters right now. But right now, as it stands. So we. I now have the GOP nomination for the Texas 23rd congressional district.

[Eli Double Tap]

Stands good. He'll have an advantage there.

[Brandon Rare]

What's that? As it's. Oh, Jesus. And I'm trying so hard to just play the straight man.

[King Trout]

I. I know you're surrounded by friends.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's a shame running for Congress doesn't involve actually running.

[Brandon Rare]

What's your next video, Nick?

[Eli Double Tap]

It's about a giant.

[Brandon Rare]

Really?

[Connor]

Yes, it is.

[King Trout]

It is.

[Donut Operator]

It's actually about a giant

[Connor]

he's trying to trigger.

[Brandon Rare]

All right, I'm intrigued. Tell me more.

[Eli Double Tap]

I told it on the last episode. The Hercules of the American Revolution. Portuguese orphan washed up on the shore in Virginia. Ended up being 6 foot 6, 270 pounds.

[Brandon Rare]

Holy shit.

[Eli Double Tap]

Back in 1770, average person was like 5, 4. 5, 4. Yeah. And ends up being a badass in the American Revolution. George Washington knows him by name, calls him George Washington's Hercules. Says they don't know if they would have won the revolution without him. Ends up having him. Ends up commissioning him a somewhere between five and six foot tall broadsword, like a full on claymore that an ordinary man couldn't even unsheathe. And allegedly he uses it at the battle of Guilford's Courthouse, which is basically like the last battle of the revolution, to kill 11 Dragoons by himself.

[Brandon Rare]

Holy shit.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh my God, he's a badass also.

[Donut Operator]

Absolutely. You're like fuck, I shot my shot and I'm reloading with my homies. And then you see that dude walk around the corner with that sword and you're still reloading your musket.

[Brandon Rare]

That's where you surrender and hope he gives a shot about war crime.

[Eli Double Tap]

This is a.

[Donut Operator]

He has a six foot.

[Eli Double Tap]

This is a replica. A replica of the sword.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh my God.

[Donut Operator]

I mean I surrender.

[Brandon Rare]

I just, just cleaved.

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah. And then I, I told on the other podcast, but

[King Trout]

guts jumping into to kill the big guy in the first. You know what I'm talking about?

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah.

[King Trout]

When Gus jumps in with his sword

[Donut Operator]

just straight down the head.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap]

But there was a show a while back where like Brian Shaw and Eddie hall the strongman went around the world and like recreated feats of strength or whatever. One of the feats they did was allegedly something that Peter Francisco did where the yoke on a cannon got blown up and he carried, they say it was an 1100 pound cannon, I don't know. But allegedly he picked up a cannon and carried it up a hill on his shoulder into battle to remount it. And they were like trying to recreate that feat of strength. So Jesus apparently is badass wild to me.

[Donut Operator]

That the. You guys ever watch Magnus? Is it Magnus? He does those videos where it goes like climbing or just above and beyond with feats of strength. Do you know who I'm talking about?

[Brandon Rare]

No idea.

[Donut Operator]

He gets Magnus

[Brandon Rare]

the chess player.

[Donut Operator]

The chess player. He's really big on climbing. I think that's how he got famous. He has a few million now, but he goes into crazy fucking situations. But that's always his goal. Now every video is about hey, look at what this human has done. I'm going to replicate that. He joins Alex Honnold on free climbing. He free solos. Yeah. He's like, I will never do that again.

[Brandon Rare]

Fuck off again.

[Donut Operator]

And he has it on footage. Him freezing halfway up the climb. And this is. If I fall, I am now a thousand feet. I die. Yeah. He goes. Alex just like walks up to him. He's like, what's wrong? And he's like, I don't know what to do. I was, ah, dude, homie, just grab right there and right there. Then you're good.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, yeah, that easy.

[Donut Operator]

Just spider monkeys it up the wall. And he talks. He's like, that was the most frightening moment I've ever had in my life. And then I got over it. Yay. I'll never do that again.

[Brandon Rare]

No, no, I'm good. I don't think I have any inclination to do that.

[Eli Double Tap]

I think we should do a gang does episode where we just for one day try to do Babe Ruth's diet.

[Brandon Rare]

What was Babe Ruth's diet, bro? I feel like I've heard this before, but I don't remember.

[Eli Double Tap]

I got you.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, 41.

[King Trout]

Is it like fucking the giant dude from the Princess Bride?

[Eli Double Tap]

What? He actually ate breakfast. Eggs, bacon, coffee. Specific. Hold on. No, there's amounts.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, they're just saying eggs and bacon. Yeah, that doesn't make it the problem.

[Brandon Rare]

Breakfast. Speaking of which, though, it's like that thing I saw you repost where you're like, you know, if you could get a million dollars and you have two friends that can.

[Eli Double Tap]

It was five friends to drink 100 beers in three days. I was like, give me junkyard digs, Connor, my dad, and Pewview, and we'll drink 100 bush lights in an episode of Unsubscribe. It's insane.

[Brandon Rare]

I've seen it. So I seen it.

[Eli Double Tap]

Babe Ruth diet. A pint of whiskey mixed with ginger ale, followed by a steak, four eggs, fried potatoes, and a pot of coffee. Lunch included two porterhouse steaks, two heads of lettuce with blue cheese, two platefuls of cottage fried potatoes.

[Brandon Rare]

So I'm sorry, was the pint for breakfast?

[Eli Double Tap]

Yes. Oh, snack. For his snack, he was known to eat somewhere between six and 12 hot dogs, often with sauerkraut, several Coca colas, and that's a snack. And then for dinner, he had two more porterhouse steaks, potatoes, and two apple pies.

[Brandon Rare]

So the pint is just for breakfast?

[Eli Double Tap]

Yes.

[Brandon Rare]

And he doesn't drink throughout the rest of the day?

[Eli Double Tap]

Correct. He's gotta have his edge by game time.

[Donut Operator]

So one pint.

[Eli Double Tap]

He works at night.

[Donut Operator]

16 fluid ounces is one pint of whiskey. Whiskey and what?

[Eli Double Tap]

That Was it a pot of coffee?

[Connor]

No.

[Donut Operator]

Didn't ginger ale Ginger ale.

[Eli Double Tap]

Sorry.

[Donut Operator]

I wonder if it was mixed or it was like 16 ounces of whiskey again. Starting breakfast with 16 ounce of whiskey is a fucking wild concept to me.

[Brandon Rare]

Who's monitoring his diet?

[Donut Operator]

No one. It's the 1930s.

[Brandon Rare]

That's what I'm like. Did somebody just make this up?

[Donut Operator]

His good luck was punching his wife before the game. I guarantee it. At that time. Jesus, they're in the 1930s. Well, they don't know that.

[Brandon Rare]

I love those pictures of those old fashioned baseball teams where it's like none of these people could even make it on a pro team.

[Eli Double Tap]

High school team.

[Brandon Rare]

Then again, I mean, they all look like John D. Still like one of the top in the sport watching.

[King Trout]

Well, that's true.

[Connor]

Too

[Brandon Rare]

true. No, a lot less running in golf.

[King Trout]

It's like daily. When they did the new Happy Gilmore movie, they're like, he can't nail this shot. And he was just like popping shots in that shoe on the mantle in their room.

[Brandon Rare]

Like he said they were going to do it with cgi. Yeah, he's like, now give me a second.

[King Trout]

I got this.

[Donut Operator]

Damn it. I want. Did you see? We were watching it this afternoon, but Kamzat wrestling with Demetrius.

[Eli Double Tap]

I didn't see him wrestling. I saw him striking.

[Donut Operator]

Dude, he was manhandling Demetrius. We watched.

[Eli Double Tap]

Well, he's 80 pounds bigger.

[Donut Operator]

No, like Demetrius, who's like, I can't stop anything. He's like, he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

[Eli Double Tap]

He's 80 pounds bigger.

[Donut Operator]

Well, I know. Trust me, it makes a huge difference. But seeing Mighty Mouse just get like. Like ragdolled. Mighty Mouse was still utterly surprised from it. He was like, what the. I can't stop this, dude. Do you ever struggle with tiny toiletry bottles?

[Brandon Rare]

No.

[Donut Operator]

Well, with Mando, Struggle no more. I would not want to spread whole body deodorant on you, Nick.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's gonna get all clumpy in my chest hair, but looks like I've been rolling around in mashed potatoes.

[King Trout]

How well does it lubricate?

[Eli Double Tap]

It was developed by a doctor and it works for 72 hours. Show some respect.

[King Trout]

I'm gonna tell that to everyone at the Magic the Gathering tournament.

[Eli Double Tap]

I wish I was there when they figured out that it wasn't good for 73 hours. I like to imagine just a fat guy on a treadmill for 72 hours. Straight up, he's turned. Time to shower.

[Brandon Rare]

Finally, fatty curdled.

[Eli Double Tap]

Thanks to Mando.

[Brandon Rare]

It's also named after Mount Fuji.

[Eli Double Tap]

Really? Mine's bourbon and leather. Because I'm a man, though.

[Brandon Rare]

Couldn't even get through an ad without a pun.

[Eli Double Tap]

What? Do you want to sell the deodorant or not? Brandon?

[Brandon Rare]

I'm just waiting for the sweet release of death.

[Eli Double Tap]

Not going to come for at least 72 hours.

[Brandon Rare]

Listen, we did a lot of meet and greets during the live tour, y'. All. Mother could use some mando.

[Eli Double Tap]

A strong, independent woman. You can do everything a man can do. You can still use some mando.

[Donut Operator]

Our kids and Nick dead.

[King Trout]

The cops are coming.

[Eli Double Tap]

We've got 72 hours to hide the body before it starts to smell.

[King Trout]

Actually does smell pretty damn good.

[Donut Operator]

This one smells like the body wash. Smells actually really good.

[King Trout]

I have bourbon leather.

[Eli Double Tap]

Did anybody find the body? No, but that ditch over there smells delicious. There's no way there's a body over there.

[Brandon Rare]

You said we can ad lib. Joke's on you. We're into that.

[King Trout]

This isn't your average deodorant or antiperspirant.

[Eli Double Tap]

You can try Mando's starter pack. It's perfect. It comes with absolutely everything. Stick deodorant cream, deodorant. Two free products of your choice, like a mini body wash or deodorant wipes. And free shipping as a special offer. You'll get 20 off site wide with our exclusive code unsub.

[Donut Operator]

That's code unsub. [e-mail] I just saw a.

[Brandon Rare]

It was a. Like a reel. Came across my Instagram feed earlier today and it was just like this chick that, you know, it was kind of like a thirst trap or whatever and she's just like, oh my God, if this. If this post gets 10,000 likes, I'll do whatever the top comment says. And there's clearly like the ones she's liking where it's like she's like the thing she wants to do. The top comment, far and away by thousands of likes, is shave your head, do two years in Dagestan training with the gentians.

[Donut Operator]

There was one guy, it was a teenager. He's like, whatever the top comment is. I'll change my name to my. My comments was like, well, reads the first. The top three comments. Well, I can't say that first time anymore. Dude. Yeah, the worst word you could think of. All three were voted to the top.

[Eli Double Tap]

I forget there's like a list of like the funniest trolls that 4chan has pulled off. And some of them are hilarious. They. There was a. There was a Taylor Swift concert and whichever college got the most votes, she would go do a free concert at this college. 4chan got a hold of it and it was a college for the deaf.

[Brandon Rare]

Yep.

[Eli Double Tap]

Kanye did the same thing, except it was promote Walmart, the pit bull one.

[Donut Operator]

What?

[Eli Double Tap]

It was Pit bull Pitbull to promote a wall. He was going to go to a concert at any Walmart in America. They picked the northernmost Walmart. That's like an 18 by 18 room for like survival supplies in Alaska.

[Brandon Rare]

And he fucking went.

[Connor]

That's my.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, it's my favorite part is he was just in on the joke. He didn't give a shit.

[Eli Double Tap]

He went, there was like some multi billion dollar unmanned boat that was supposed to like patrol the Arctic and gather scientific information. They opened it up to the Internet, what they should name it? Bodie McBoat, face one.

[Brandon Rare]

Well, so Internet historian has a great video on it, like about like just business or whatever. And like it just talks about a bunch of the different ones where that's happened. Like when McDonald's opened up the name your burger. Oh, it was, it was really bad, dude.

[Donut Operator]

I. The end, he pulls a goal crushing life. Instagram is amazing. That is the thing they go the hardest in the comment section now. Like Instagram. Did you see this one?

[Brandon Rare]

Okay, yeah, I did.

[Donut Operator]

I. I sent this to a couple of you.

[King Trout]

Backwards feet.

[Donut Operator]

Yep, the top comment. Imagine the cops trying to track her in the snow she has backwards.

[Brandon Rare]

I love Instagram.

[Donut Operator]

Used to be. I'm like, dear God.

[Brandon Rare]

Dude, Instagram used to be like the strictest platform and now it's like fucking anarchy. There's no rules.

[Eli Double Tap]

My favorite comment is like, whenever somebody posts something that's like actually wholesome or anything, top comment is always, what is this doing on my racism?

[Brandon Rare]

Apparently, like, do you remember though, like, you used to be able to get banned for like really dumb. Now it's just like I scroll through my.

[Connor]

Oh God,

[King Trout]

dude, I. I do it every day on my streams. My, my like favorite pastime now is just rage baiting on Instagram and it is the funnest in the world. I tell like when people say, what should I do next? I'm like, join the Marine Corps. 20,000 likes.

[Donut Operator]

It's like this guy. So you're like, okay, you're watching him and then you just. 46,000 comments. I bet those are fantastic.

[Eli Double Tap]

I bet those are super positive.

[Donut Operator]

What does this say? It's just fucking. Oh my God. Thank you so much. Instagram, y' all are amazing. Oh, I love that. Oh, Brandon, you. You're gonna have to deal with a lot of this. Or have you had this congressional upon it? How's the, the war talks going, Brandon, they're huge. High school children.

[Brandon Rare]

You man.

[Donut Operator]

High school kids. All right, all right.

[Eli Double Tap]

I'm gonna go pee.

[Brandon Rare]

What were, what were you talking about, Eli?

[Donut Operator]

Are you getting much. Is anyone asking those questions just right now about like, hey, Iran or any

[Brandon Rare]

of this that's going, oh, yeah, no. 100 I get asked about it pretty, pretty common or pretty often. And I mean, I've made my position on it pretty clear. It's like, yeah, no, I like any engagement the United States engages in. Like, I, I want the United States to win. It's like, let's show them what $1 trillion a year looks like in defense spending. That being said, it's like, you know, I have been always on the record as anti intervention unless we can avoid it. It's like, I don't want senseless conflict. We've seen what happened with fucking G. What? We don't need to be in the sandbox for 20 years doing nothing. Sending a bunch of 19 year olds to stand at a gate to, you know, just waiting to be attacked like that just. I don't know, that sort of foreign policy. We saw where it got us and it's not a fucking good place. So if you want to stop. If you want to help combat veterans, stop making more of them for no reason.

[Donut Operator]

Wild idea.

[Brandon Rare]

I hate that, like, because I can. The Internet just hates nuance because I feel like those two things can be true. It's like, yeah, if the United States is going to be involved, I want us to be the best and I want us to do the most we can do while losing as few people as possible. Like, God forbid. I don't want to lose American lives. Crazy thought, but, like, they just lack the ability to have.

[Eli Double Tap]

I don't want to go skydiving, but if I do, I hope my parachute opens.

[Brandon Rare]

No, Right.

[Eli Double Tap]

That's literally the argument.

[Brandon Rare]

I didn't want to be here, but now that we're here, here, let's be good.

[Eli Double Tap]

I hope it goes well.

[Brandon Rare]

I. I hate that. That's a controversial opinion. They're like, oh, you've already sold out. You're taking such and such money. It's like, hey, no, never have, never will.

[Connor]

B

[Brandon Rare]

just did you even listen? But you know, well, it's politics. The answer.

[Donut Operator]

Absolutely not.

[Brandon Rare]

No, no, they didn't.

[Donut Operator]

Well, apparently we were talking about in the last episode, but the. It already was broken. The.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, yeah.

[Donut Operator]

It was like cease fires.

[King Trout]

Yeah, this.

[Brandon Rare]

There's. There's conversations about it right now. It's a little murky like, it's stuff like, this is so hard because, like, you're. You're having to make decisions based on information that's, like, unverified. So it's.

[Donut Operator]

It's one of those weird things. That's why I was just wondering, because I got. We sat down at one of your events, and you got to see the young soldiers, like, hyped up about war. And then they're like, well, what do you think? And you're like, homie, you like this because this is what you train to do. This is your. You want to experience it promise it's not as cool as it sounds. And then you're like, you have that level headed, minus where it's like, oh, I don't. Like, we don't need to do this. We shouldn't do it unless we a hundred percent have to. But we're not sending troops on the ground and then trying to bring in a new democracy.

[Connor]

Right?

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, like that. I don't know this. I vastly prefer what's happening now over again. The Dick Cheney level foreign policy that we saw before, it's just completely fruitless. But at the same time, man, I really want. I understand some of the reasoning behind some of this stuff, but I just really want to see a renewed focus on domestic policy. A lot of the things that got people excited about this administration were a lot of the things that were promised on domestic stuff that make America healthy again stuff, you know, a lot of that stuff, a lot of the economic stuff, the, you know, lowering the cost of gas, of food, of the cost of living, housing prices getting lowered, like, all that stuff is, like, super exciting. And a lot of the domestic policy stuff, some of it's been delivered on, it's been very, very good for the, for the, for the American people, I think, but there's a lot of work left to do, and I'd like to see us focus on that more.

[Donut Operator]

God, I am super excited for you to watch the episode recorded because what we discussed was a lot of that. It's like, hey, our dollar, what's it worth? What does he see as the biggest indicator of red flags? It's like, our money, it's going down in value. So that's what he views as the biggest problem. He went into the entire Roman history about it, which is wild, but he just shows a, hey, here's what we've seen. Here's the problems that came from it. And this is what I'm seeing is happening in the United States right now.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, yeah. I mean, just look At Weimar Germany, you know, Post World War I Germany, like just the rampant runaway inflation. That's. It's usually a telltale sign things aren't going well. And in our case in the United States, you know, inflation right now is. I think it's the number one unseen tax on the American people because it's not enough. Sorry to get into fucking policy bullshit. But, like, it's not enough now for the government to just steal your money. Now they have to steal the value of the money you have left. And that's up. If you do everything right, let's say you save a thousand dollars at the end of the year, you tuck that away for a rainy day. The next year it's worth 900. And you didn't do anything wrong. It's because your government can't get their shit together

[Donut Operator]

100%. You see, zero pushback.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's going to be crypto.

[Donut Operator]

Hey, we. I mean, after our talk, I was like, okay, I'll invest into that. You had the. Which one was it?

[Eli Double Tap]

If you think the US Government is going to switch over to stablecoins and then they're going to make it global,

[Brandon Rare]

there's a lot of talk of that.

[King Trout]

Right.

[Eli Double Tap]

Like, I genuinely think the strategy here that they want to go for is because, like right now we own the financial system because of the petrodollar.

[Brandon Rare]

Yes.

[Eli Double Tap]

That's getting eroded. It's getting weaker. So I think that they're going to take and transition to stablecoins that are pinned to the US dollar, and then they're going to allow everybody all over the globe to buy it. And that way, everybody in all these countries where the American currency is better than their currency, they're just going to start using that on their phone and there's nothing their governments can do to stop them.

[Brandon Rare]

Do you think that's a good thing?

[Eli Double Tap]

It's a good thing for Americans because we're offloading our money, which is essentially our debt. So basically we're, we're turning, we're going from. Right now. The creditors for the US can be companies and countries.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap]

We're making it so individual citizens all over the globe can be creditors for the United States.

[Brandon Rare]

Right. No, not. I wasn't asking if it's good for the United States as a, as a global power. I just mean, like, do you think transitioning away from.

[Eli Double Tap]

No, I think it's going to wind up horribly because then, like, the swift banking system, you can, you know, cut a country off right now.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap]

But if we get to this point where there's one global currency and it's all digital. It could be a nightmare because if whoever gets put in charge of that can kind of do whatever they want. You can start looking at things like, oh, You've already bought 18 pounds of meat this month. Your card doesn't work anymore until the first when you're allowed to buy more meat because we decided meat is bad or whatever. You're only allotted this much gas per month and there's nothing you can do about it.

[Brandon Rare]

And for those of you at home listening to that hypothetical thinking, no, that would never happen. You probably say that about half the shit that happened during COVID too. A lot of the. That was going down during 2020. If you had ever brought that up in 2019, they'd be like, you're a conspiracy theorists. There's no way.

[Donut Operator]

They would never force businesses to shut down.

[Brandon Rare]

That's like my biological son Isaiah says, whenever you think, oh, well, the government wouldn't do. Oh, yes, they would do.

[Donut Operator]

We're. I also shout out to y', all, it is already what, eight days into Autism awareness month. Y' all are fucking crushing it right now.

[Brandon Rare]

Because if anybody is aware of autism, it's our audience. Audience.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, I gotta get out of here. We love you all. You're gonna. You're crushing, crushing the numbers right now. So y' all are changing a lot of lives this year. It's great to see. Also, we had a great conversation with the fine ladies at Autism. Org. I forget which specific nonprofit she was taking over. The. She was handed off us. She's like, hey, I don't know what's going on.

[Eli Double Tap]

She got hot potatoed.

[Donut Operator]

Yep. And then she's like, yeah, I'm looking at some of your videos now. I'm like, oh, fumo. We say retard, by the way. She's like, oh, huh.

[Brandon Rare]

Well, how do you do it?

[Donut Operator]

Like a flashbang. She's like, but super kind, super nice. She pulls up, oh, well, you guys have donated. We're trying to work with other things. It was like, yeah, we. We donate a small portion of everyone. The shirts we've sold. People will purchase them. And then 100 of those profits for the autistic shirts we. We donate. She looks. She's like, holy, you guys have done. And she cusses. She's like, it's a hundred thousand dollars already. What the.

[Brandon Rare]

And that's just at that one autism

[Donut Operator]

organization that is one of the nonprofits. So she's like, whatever you guys are doing, keep crushing life. Oh, my God.

[Eli Double Tap]

What the heck, one of these days, one of these. One of these nonprofits is going to print us out official R word passes that I can keep in my wallet,

[Donut Operator]

actually.

[Brandon Rare]

Hey, nonprofit, just wait till we do our fundraiser next February. Also, if I can make a Glad you like shot that one. If I can make a small announcement on the podcast. Rich and Taylor have just had their baby.

[Eli Double Tap]

Their pictures.

[Brandon Rare]

Yep. So they have. They have welcomed little Dick into the world.

[Donut Operator]

Oh my God.

[Brandon Rare]

That's awesome.

[Donut Operator]

Shout out to angry cops. Little dick is here.

[King Trout]

Yeah, Tiny dicks here, dude.

[Brandon Rare]

And so is his son, Taylor and Rich.

[Donut Operator]

Congratulations, guys. That's awesome.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh yeah, not to derail the podcast there, but I just saw that in the. The group chat.

[Eli Double Tap]

Hey, you ever just wake up and

[Donut Operator]

felt like your mattress sucks and it beat your ass, punched you in the face?

[Brandon Rare]

That's crazy. Does the mattress. Also your mom.

[Connor]

You ever wake up feeling like you slept in a swamp? Because you're disgusting. Nasty ball sweat.

[Brandon Rare]

I see most of you on Reddit, so I know you have time to

[Donut Operator]

break up with that mattress.

[Connor]

Get divorced from your mattress. Get a ghostbed that hoe. You're worth more.

[Brandon Rare]

You're so strong.

[Donut Operator]

Well, guess what. Ghostbed just launched their new mattress line.

[Connor]

It's designed to keep you cool, supported in all the right areas, if you catch my drift. Your giant hog. And help you get sleep.

[Donut Operator]

These beds are built with its patented cooling technology, Brandon.

[Brandon Rare]

So you can keep your giant hog cool.

[Donut Operator]

Did you know they're built to last?

[King Trout]

That's right.

[Connor]

None of that dripping ear nonsense. Every Mattress has a 20 or 25 year warranty. That means if I bought one today, it will outlive me before the warranty expires. I don't have much time left.

[Brandon Rare]

Especially with as much as you smoke.

[Connor]

Way to make it real, Brandon.

[Donut Operator]

Plus 101 night sleep trial.

[Connor]

Don't love it. Send that back.

[Donut Operator]

101 nights. That's three months risk free.

[Brandon Rare]

They got the full setup.

[Donut Operator]

Adjustable bases and pillows. Buttery soft sheets.

[Connor]

Buttery.

[Brandon Rare]

And even better, you can get 10% off site wide when you go to ghostbed.com, unsubscribe and use code unsubscribe.

[Connor]

And that's on top of their everyday deals of mattresses, adjustable bases and pillows already being up to 50% off. Come on guys.

[Brandon Rare]

What are we doing? What are we doing?

[Connor]

Why aren't you going to. Why aren't you going. Why aren't you going? Using code unsubscribe.

[Donut Operator]

Hey, go use code unsub.

[Brandon Rare]

What's happening? What's going on.

[Donut Operator]

That's ghostbad.com. unsubscribe. Use code unsubscribe.

[Connor]

Sleep better.

[Donut Operator]

Stay cooler.

[Brandon Rare]

This is a threat.

[Donut Operator]

Are you doing any more kids?

[Eli Double Tap]

Probably not.

[Donut Operator]

You're done. You're like, yeah, probably like, eh. Two is good.

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah, we'll see. I don't know. Do I want more kids? Not necessarily. It's pulling out. Gay. Yeah. Like, what do you want me to say, Cody?

[Donut Operator]

Who are you? I ain't over there. Oh, no.

[Eli Double Tap]

Cody looks horny.

[Brandon Rare]

I'm gonna scoot over this a little bit.

[Donut Operator]

Flips the table, runs on his knuckles.

[King Trout]

I need my Beanie baby.

[Brandon Rare]

Your future wife just went, oh, God. I think you said it on a podcast a couple. It was a few episodes ago, but you're like, yeah, I need to have more of them so they can mow my grass.

[King Trout]

Never underestimate the Beanie Babies, dude.

[Brandon Rare]

To be fair, my dad made me do that. Start doing that pretty much immediately. So maybe that's. That kind of tracks.

[Eli Double Tap]

The Beanie Babies is hilarious.

[Donut Operator]

You collect Beanie Babies? No.

[Brandon Rare]

No, he minced. Oh, hell.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, my God.

[Donut Operator]

Are you gonna have another one, Cody?

[King Trout]

Oh, dude, I'm gonna have so many Beanie Babies, dude, congrats.

[Brandon Rare]

Stop saying that.

[Donut Operator]

Most people call them children, but I like Beanie Babies.

[King Trout]

No one's gonna work the weeded or the other one's gonna work. I do. Weed eater. Lawnmower.

[Donut Operator]

That's their name. Get over here, Weed eater.

[Brandon Rare]

It's like Willie and Liam. You just, you know.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, Lawnmower, I'm so proud of you.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, boy.

[Donut Operator]

You have to try again, Nick. Rename.

[Eli Double Tap]

I don't have to do anything.

[Donut Operator]

Some new kids in there. We are getting hit up about the live tour. At the end of this year, they started to ask questions. I know. I'm like, no. I'm like, well, New Jersey for shipping. Definitely New Jersey.

[Brandon Rare]

Off

[Donut Operator]

we do.

[Brandon Rare]

I only want to go cool places.

[Donut Operator]

I want to do, like, four shows.

[Brandon Rare]

Four is good.

[Donut Operator]

I want to just do, like, a.

[Brandon Rare]

Does anybody remember the last Iowa show?

[Eli Double Tap]

Nope.

[Donut Operator]

I remember Rich.

[Eli Double Tap]

Iowa was aggressive.

[Connor]

Dude.

[Brandon Rare]

He was. Iowa. Was that the one where Rich just, like, pounded the bottle of tequila?

[Eli Double Tap]

Yes.

[Brandon Rare]

Yes.

[Eli Double Tap]

That was the first one which led

[Donut Operator]

to the second show.

[Eli Double Tap]

We went through a pallet of echelon. I know because I brought it.

[Donut Operator]

We went really hard on that one.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, that was the one where I figured out all of Iowa smells like a bowling alley.

[Eli Double Tap]

You saw three miles of it.

[Brandon Rare]

I saw enough from downtown Des Moines. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

From where we stood, we could see all of Iowa. It's pretty flat.

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah, that's true.

[Brandon Rare]

Everything the light touches, it's. Yeah, it's corn.

[Donut Operator]

I.

[Eli Double Tap]

It is corn.

[Donut Operator]

Four shows, just really big venues. That's for me.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Good to go.

[Eli Double Tap]

I told you.

[Donut Operator]

Even.

[Eli Double Tap]

Even the agents that schedule the shows are like, Iowa. It's kind of like. It's not. It's not a big city. It's not a big. I was like, bro, it's in Midwest. People will drive from 12 hours away. Oh, my God. The Iowa show sold out in nine minutes. Do you want to do two back to back? I told you, like, because.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, they're in the Midwest. They're three hours hours from anything.

[Eli Double Tap]

Nothing else to do.

[Donut Operator]

Like, also, Jesus, Everyone showing up with concealed carries and delaying the show. They're like, oh, the show's delayed. It's like, yeah. Over half the audience was sent back to their vehicle because they were carrying guns. And some of y' all decided to hide it in the woods.

[Connor]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rare]

First of all, what the fuck? Second of all, based.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's awesome.

[Donut Operator]

I was like, what the. It'll be a good.

[Brandon Rare]

Where would we want to go this time? I still think the. The Ryman in Nashville.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, Ryman.

[Brandon Rare]

Being able to say you did the Ryman is pretty cool.

[King Trout]

All right, so what does Adam Sandler do when he's making his newest movies? What does he do, guys?

[Brandon Rare]

He gets all of his boys together and goes to one of the nicest places he possibly can. Yeah.

[King Trout]

Cool. Vacation spots.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah. Because the San Diego show was fun as fuck. Because San Diego's beautiful. Oh, also, it's a beach.

[King Trout]

Huge military city.

[Brandon Rare]

It is. Yeah. Huge. Navy, Marines.

[King Trout]

Charleston.

[Brandon Rare]

Charleston's good.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah. We did, like, a Midwest. Even if we go back up to Iowa or Indy, just do a 3,000, 4,000 seat venue. And then Nashville.

[Brandon Rare]

Nashville be good.

[King Trout]

Nashville.

[Donut Operator]

And then we'd have Saint. Do we.

[Brandon Rare]

San Diego. I think it'd be cool to go back to San Diego. Coast one in Texas, because you gotta.

[Donut Operator]

There's four. Yeah, four.

[Brandon Rare]

And let us know down in the comments where you'd like to see us go. And if you say Alaska, go fuck yourself. We're not. No, it's gonna.

[Eli Double Tap]

Guam.

[Brandon Rare]

Okay. I will say unironically, I do want to do a USO show if. Or something along those lines.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, USO show be fucking great.

[Brandon Rare]

Go to. Go to, like, some military base somewhere

[Donut Operator]

right out the gate.

[Brandon Rare]

Be awesome.

[Donut Operator]

Iran's going to be popping.

[Connor]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rare]

Go to Kuwait.

[Donut Operator]

You can go to. No, they'll put us in Iran.

[Brandon Rare]

Dope Well, I. I hope not in Iran.

[Donut Operator]

That depends on what happens the next.

[Connor]

The year is young.

[Donut Operator]

We can be at a U.S. tour in Iran, be like, oh, I would 100% do that

[Brandon Rare]

for a USO show in Tehran.

[Donut Operator]

In Iran.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah. I mean. I mean, I would do it wherever. I don't really care personally, but I've

[Donut Operator]

already got close and I shouldn't die this time around. It'd be fine, you guys.

[Eli Double Tap]

Eli takes shrapnel on the ass again.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, like that sucks dick. Great story, though.

[Eli Double Tap]

Is there a civilian purple heart? So pissed your license plates are going to be decked out,

[Brandon Rare]

you put a. A cluster on your purple.

[Connor]

Purple heart.

[Eli Double Tap]

Eli turned the other cheek. No, they got that one, too.

[Brandon Rare]

Were you. Did you actually take shrapnel in the ass?

[Donut Operator]

No. Getting shot in the leg.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was wondering.

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah, I thought the. I thought you got shot in the ass. Is it like. Oh, it's like up high on your thigh, wasn't it?

[Donut Operator]

No, it's like here. No, literally nothing. Something right there. Literally that car. That's it. That's what happens if a AK AK round kicks off of a wall. Rage. Like, I can't even. Wait, okay, let me see it over here. Now I wait right here.

[Brandon Rare]

I forgot where we got.

[Connor]

Oh, yeah, I can see the stitches.

[Donut Operator]

Is it just crazy?

[Connor]

I thought you got shot in the ass.

[Eli Double Tap]

Nope.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, I can tell you with even. What's his name homie that said he got his face blown up.

[Eli Double Tap]

Malibu fit.

[Donut Operator]

Malibu fit. That was one of the things. Cause he did write me and I asked about that, and then he did come clear, which I never hold. I don't give a shit about any of them. Like, hey, you're not taking money from. For your own and whatever. You didn't take money and then profit from your purple heart is whatever story you want to make. Don't lie, blah, blah, blah. But I think, Brandon, I told you so. I got shot, but I told them. Or Malibu Fett said, this is what happened, but it got lost. My purple heart records got messed up. That's what happened to me. Like, I have a purple heart. That. Hence why plates all that. But my cool parking at BJ's. Damn skippy. But my provoir says I got blown up in an ID blast. Did not happen. Well, I. Three IDs. None of them hit me, though. Like, no shrapnel.

[Brandon Rare]

I think out of all the people that I know that have been injured in combat, most of them have records. Yeah, like Almost. I think more often than not, they're fucked up.

[Donut Operator]

What do. Did you know the. I think we talked about it, actually. The people that stopped the mass shooter, the officers that.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, the cadets.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, the ROTC kids.

[Donut Operator]

They got purple hearts too, right?

[Eli Double Tap]

Did they?

[Donut Operator]

Yep.

[Brandon Rare]

Because they got. Did they get like, what. What happened? I didn't know. I didn't know the. The details of that story. If they got.

[Eli Double Tap]

Broke my hand on his face.

[Donut Operator]

They stabbed him a lot. Oh, yeah, yeah, with a Gerber. Right.

[Brandon Rare]

They killed the. Out of him shooter.

[Donut Operator]

Where did that happen at?

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, it was on base.

[King Trout]

It was. Or the college.

[Brandon Rare]

I thought it was on a base.

[King Trout]

No, I thought it was a college

[Eli Double Tap]

and it was a college ROTC program.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, okay.

[Donut Operator]

Rotc, yeah. Where did that happen?

[King Trout]

It's like the worst mass shooter ever.

[Donut Operator]

2026. Old Dominion. Muhammad Bala Jalal attacked a reserve officers.

[Brandon Rare]

Sounds like a nice young man yelling

[Donut Operator]

Allah Akbar while opening fire. One ROTC instructor was killed, and then two of the cadets were critically injured before Jalal was fatally stabbed as other members of the ROTC group subdued him. But yeah, so two people got purple Hearts from that.

[King Trout]

Yeah, they jumped on him with their pocket knives and just stabbed the fuck out of that guy.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah. So they were critically injured. Yeah, two deaths. One of them was the perpetrator. Yeah, I think they just went to ham. Or they went to town, went ham on his neck.

[Donut Operator]

Brandon, did you see what they used? The bad guy?

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, no.22 caliber Glock.

[King Trout]

Oh, God.

[Brandon Rare]

Well, that's a choice.

[Donut Operator]

A Glock.44.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, I've got one of those. That's

[Eli Double Tap]

not a particularly good gun caliber.

[Brandon Rare]

Not like I'm like giving them advice or anything, but. Yeah, that's certainly a choice.

[Donut Operator]

I didn't know that part, but yeah. So they walked away with Purple hearts. And then Weimer, through that text message he sent, he's like, they would do what a lot of people couldn't do. They finished what he started. I was like, that's a baller squad. Like dope.

[Brandon Rare]

Okay. This is actually something I'm curious about, Nick. You're publishing a book, right?

[Eli Double Tap]

Ten of them, yeah.

[Brandon Rare]

The kids book series? Yeah. How the is that going?

[Eli Double Tap]

Good. I have the first. I have the rough draft of the first book up, like proofreading through it. I was reading through it on the plane more.

[Brandon Rare]

Are you gonna release them like one at a time?

[Eli Double Tap]

No, I'm gonna release a ten piece box set.

[Brandon Rare]

All at once?

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah. Full story.

[Brandon Rare]

Damn.

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah, so I mean, it's basically like characters based off me and my two sons. And it's like, the premise is Nazis and Japanese 1 World War II, and it's in modern day, but it's run by Nazi Germany and the Japanese. And I'm a historian at a museum who basically, like, makes a discovery that the Nazis used a time machine to help them win World War II. And I go through and do a bunch of research, and they find out before I can go back and correct the timeline. And then Cutter and Cash find all my notes, and they go back and correct the timeline. Trying to save me is kind of the premise of the whole series.

[Brandon Rare]

Interesting. So it's kind of like Hardy Boys meets Man in the High Castle.

[Eli Double Tap]

Kind of like that. And then every. Every book is focused on a particular war hero, so it's like they were able to win World War II by taking out these 10 pivotal heroes in history. So, like, they went back in time and made it. So the plane that flew over Dick Bong's farm when he was a kid that inspired him to be a pilot never flew over his farm. So he was never inspired to be a pilot. Dick Bong, the most successful fighter pilot in American history, is taken out of the timeline. So. But the kids go back and correct that. But then the Nazis had a backup contingency plan where they had one other thing they could change to still get rid of this guy. So then, like, the first book is them correcting that timeline, and then every book's a different hero.

[Brandon Rare]

It's kind of cool. It's a neat, neat concept.

[Donut Operator]

Terminator for World War II.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Eli Double Tap]

Pretty much fucking love it with my kids. Yeah. Now I got to see if I can incorporate little Dick in it somehow. Their cousin.

[Brandon Rare]

I'm just thinking that, like, Terminator. Dun, dun, dun, dun, Dun. Are you Mrs. Bong?

[Eli Double Tap]

But no, it should be good. And I'll have a. I got, like, box sets getting made for, like, friends and stuff. So Rich can read it to a little Dick when he gets old enough, and Cody can read it to his Beanie Babies.

[King Trout]

Hell, yeah.

[Donut Operator]

In Spanish.

[King Trout]

Hola. I'm learning.

[Donut Operator]

Hey, do you know what's better than anything, brother? Homemade cooking.

[Connor]

Oh, God.

[Brandon Rare]

Eli, are we doing this bit again?

[Donut Operator]

Yes, we are.

[Brandon Rare]

I'm not doing the macho man bit.

[Connor]

I've got hello fresh for three minutes.

[Donut Operator]

HelloFresh rises to the top.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Hey, you want to make life easier? This is how you do it. Hellofresh. Because it comes in, and all you have to do is cook it to make anything. You have to prep anything. They do that. For you.

[Connor]

You get all the ingredients, you just put them together at home. Makes you look like a master chef. Invite somebody over to your house and be like, hey, I made this for you. Just me. Just me. I made this just for you.

[Donut Operator]

Choose over a hundred different recipes each

[Brandon Rare]

week, including cuisines from around the world.

[Connor]

I'm not doing the macho man voice.

[Brandon Rare]

We know.

[Donut Operator]

They even got the Asian meals. You know they make tacos. Awesome. Kind of doing Mexican accent.

[Connor]

Porciones mas grande parasatisfacer Dolos.

[Donut Operator]

Choose from more than 35 high protein recipes each week, including Mediterranean and friendly GLP1 options. GLP1 friendly GLP1 friendly options.

[Connor]

Eli, what's a GLP1 feel great with wholesome ingredients like sustainably sourced seafood and 100% hormone and antibiotic free chicken. Make meals with seasonal products like pears, apples, and Asperger's asparagus.

[Donut Operator]

Head over to hellofresh.com unsub10fm and get

[Connor]

10 free meals plus a free zwilling knife on your third box. Offer valid. Wasn't placed last. Free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan.

[Donut Operator]

Nick, did you watch Project Hail Mary?

[Eli Double Tap]

I did.

[Donut Operator]

What did you think I did?

[Eli Double Tap]

My wife had a hilarious comment immediately and we did not watch any trailers going into this. We just thought it was a stupid movie. But it was date night and it looked like the best thing that we could watch is a fantastic movie. And my wife leans over to me and just goes, this entire movie is Ryan Gosling meeting an autistic rock in space. I'm in the theater during, like an emotional part, like trying not to die.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon Rare]

I just got supremely uncomfortable by you making reference to your wife and immediately leaning in toward me.

[Eli Double Tap]

Don't worry about it.

[Brandon Rare]

Given prior comments on the podcast, I don't like that.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, my God. That's what amazed. Amaze, amazed.

[Brandon Rare]

Did you see that, by the way?

[Eli Double Tap]

Yes.

[Donut Operator]

I'm like, that's right. And now that I've.

[Brandon Rare]

Rocky is riding so Artemis 2 with that transmission. Yes.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, dude.

[Brandon Rare]

They did the amaze, amaze, amaze thing on the official comms.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, really?

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, when they were orbiting the moon. It was pretty cool.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah. As they were doing a slingshot. It was amaze, amaze, amaze.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's a good movie, dude.

[Donut Operator]

That was one of. I also, like, I went in with

[Eli Double Tap]

nothing, so I'm going into spoiler alerts. So whatever. I like. It's not the storyline.

[Brandon Rare]

It's just.

[Donut Operator]

Cody, close your ears real quick.

[Eli Double Tap]

No, I just Thought it was super interesting how. Because the alien doesn't have any eyes and he does what the thing bats do. Echolocation, basically. Because that species only does echolocation. I thought it was really cool, like the little details in the movie how Ryan Gosling points out that like, oh, they have space travel and they're more advanced than us in all these ways, but because they don't have eyes, they don't understand radiation and photons at all because they can't even perceive it. So they don't even know it exists to look for it. And it's like, that's actually something that's like plausible and could happen.

[Brandon Rare]

You know what I mean?

[Eli Double Tap]

Like there's some other thing that you have no way of perceiving. So why would you be looking for it?

[Donut Operator]

Do you. So even how that species was developed was okay. If this rock species existed, their planet would have six atmospheres in order. There is so much science that went behind the writing in the, in the book. It's fucking crazy.

[Brandon Rare]

I'm just glad that there's a new Ryan Gosling personality that I can adopt for six months.

[Donut Operator]

This one's a great one. And then even when they did, we've talked about it, the faster, near speed of light travel, they never explain it other than like, we can't get there. It'd take X amount of time. We got that covered. And that's how they go around that. They're like, man, we don't have to explain it. We'll just say they.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, we've had that for a while.

[Donut Operator]

And then that's why when it goes refers back to her and she's watching the videos, she's older. It's like, oh yeah, he's gonna stay young, she's going to age. They did so much stuff science during that. I forget what he did. I think he was an astrophysicist, the guy that wrote the book.

[Brandon Rare]

What I will say is that the much like many good things, the fan base is ruining this film because they're so fucking cringe.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rare]

Like they're, they're just, they're turning it into everything now. And I'm just like, ah, man, it was a good movie. Just, just let it be that. Don't turn it into your entire personality. I know, I just said that like

[Eli Double Tap]

as soon as, as soon as the merch hits Hot topic, it's over.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Connor]

The most 5 out of 10 film

[Brandon Rare]

I've ever seen in my life.

[Connor]

You completely average film I've ever seen. It's not that Good.

[Brandon Rare]

Wrong opinion. Objectively wrong.

[Eli Double Tap]

Incorrect.

[Connor]

Hey everybody, write this down and come back to me two years from now when nobody's talking about this mid ass movie.

[Brandon Rare]

Like, well, your biggest criticism were like I just can't believe that there was wind in that scene where there should have been zero gravity. I'm like. I'm like, Connor, they were in atmosphere

[Connor]

and you're like oh, all right. Well, still gay. That was not my complaint. It's a mid tier movie. Y' all are in the Avatar when Avatar came out and you're like the 3D is blowing my mind. Avatar was still good when it came out. Middle of the line movie. Two years from now, nobody's going to remember this goddamn movie.

[King Trout]

Yeah, but did you make it?

[Eli Double Tap]

Note to self, the movie is way less cool. Watching it in Cody's van in Waynesville, Indiana. Apparently

[Brandon Rare]

8.4 out of 10 on IMDb. Just pointing that out.

[Connor]

IMDb famously the be all end all for what makes a good film.

[Brandon Rare]

Honestly. Yeah, pretty.

[Eli Double Tap]

Pretty.

[Donut Operator]

What's their user? User review.

[Brandon Rare]

That's what I'm saying. The. The user user rating is 8.4.

[Donut Operator]

What's critic?

[Brandon Rare]

Metascore 77 at a hundred on critic.

[Connor]

You in this gay ass movie. It pisses me off.

[Donut Operator]

I was wondering. I wasn't.

[Brandon Rare]

Show me on this doll where Ryan Gosling touched you.

[Connor]

Dude, he touched me in the heart.

[Donut Operator]

I dude.

[Brandon Rare]

With a hammer.

[Donut Operator]

I cried. Oh my.

[Brandon Rare]

The visuals were good.

[Donut Operator]

The thing. Nick, did you cry? No.

[Connor]

It was the most mid movie of all time.

[Brandon Rare]

Everybody enjoyed this movie but Connor.

[Connor]

I enjoyed the film. It was the most mid I ever seen in my life though.

[Donut Operator]

No, I have like 10,000 reviews of 96%.

[Connor]

It was.

[Brandon Rare]

It was good sci fi. It was a good story.

[Connor]

I'm not saying it was a bad amazing.

[Brandon Rare]

There was no woke. It was just a good. And it was all practical effects puppetry, like limited cgi.

[Connor]

Yeah, that's how I judge whether a film is good or not.

[Brandon Rare]

The puppetry, honestly.

[Donut Operator]

Yes. The comedy was gold.

[Connor]

The Muppets in the Muppets in New York. 9 out of 10 audience score on IMDb. The puppetry amazing. Jim Henson a hero. An American hero.

[Donut Operator]

Connor. See you again.

[Connor]

No, in the fucking language translation. Somebody was talking. I just got in this fight earlier. They were like the greatest thing in American cinema. The language translation. When we break the language barrier with an alien species, it's written off in one sentence. It's Ryan Gosling sitting on a goddamn

[Brandon Rare]

laptop and he goes.

[Connor]

And then bing bong. Now we understand Rocky from the Rock guy speaks fucking English. It's one goddamn second. Like you said two seconds ago, you were complimenting the science. It's a montage. Shut the fuck up and let me finish. Shut the fuck up and let me finish. You are complimenting the science of this so called film where you're like, yo. And they don't even explain faster than light travel. How is that a compliment to the science of this medium film?

[Eli Double Tap]

Trout famously mad that the people in Hollywood couldn't accurately figure out the speed of light and he's upset about it. So the whole movie's bad. Star wars must suck because we haven't figured out light speed yet.

[Connor]

Also, Nick, misinterpreting what I just said. I was talking about how Eli was complimenting the so called science in the film. Play the tape back 30 seconds prior, before Nick's interruption of myself, before I interrupted their podcast.

[Brandon Rare]

I'm sorry it wasn't a gay Wes

[Eli Double Tap]

Anderson movie accurately demonstrating all the science that we currently have, but not being able to solve the biggest questions in physics. The science must suck.

[Connor]

Yeah, no, yeah, no, we can't explain it. That happened off camera.

[Brandon Rare]

Wow.

[Connor]

The science in this film. Would you believe it? It's bewildering. The puppetry. Did you see the puppets in this movie? The puppets were crazy.

[Brandon Rare]

They had a. Unironically, Yes. I would prefer if they use practical effects like they did in like the fucking. In the thing instead of the new gay thing that they did where they replaced all the puppetry with cgi.

[Connor]

I think you're misunderstanding. The puppetry was so amazing.

[Brandon Rare]

By Allah, I shall strike you.

[Eli Double Tap]

Are you mad in like Lord of the Rings when, like orcs and stuff exist? Because they don't exist in real life?

[Connor]

If Eli came on the unsubscribed podcast and said, yes, the magic was perfect.

[Donut Operator]

They.

[Connor]

They nailed that. Just like the book. They perfectly laid that down. And in the Lord of the Rings, they were just like in, in the film they were like, no, it doesn't matter. Like some magic happened off screen or whatever. But the puppetry, the puppetry was impeccable.

[Brandon Rare]

You're like a kid who's like, upset that his, like, indie band got popular.

[Connor]

Dude, this movie is so write this shit down. Two years from now, nobody's gonna remember this goddamn movie.

[Eli Double Tap]

They went mainstream. Ever since then. They haven't been good.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, people like it.

[Connor]

I don't hate it, cuz people I like, I watched it and I said, it's the most average movie of all time.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eli Double Tap]

The goth barista at the coffee shops. Impressed with your opinion.

[Connor]

Nick the fat electrician. Famed man for agreeing with people. He loves when people have a popular opinion. This man has never taken a popular opinion and gone the opposite way with it. It's a mid fucking movie. It's a mid movie, but the puppetry.

[Donut Operator]

What's a good movie, Connor?

[Brandon Rare]

You. You don't tell me.

[Eli Double Tap]

A good movie.

[Connor]

What's a good movie?

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah.

[King Trout]

Have you wrote a better one?

[Connor]

What?

[Host]

What is?

[Connor]

Your insistence that I have to write a Hollywood film.

[King Trout]

You're on so much. Write one better.

[Donut Operator]

What's a good movie, Connor? What's a good movie?

[Eli Double Tap]

Show us how puppetry's done.

[Brandon Rare]

Go get me. We did just watch Scarface for the first time last night. Yeah, I watched that. He'd never seen it.

[Donut Operator]

The. The friend, the chainsaw scene. Oh, my God.

[Connor]

I. The puppetry was amazing.

[King Trout]

Blood doesn't spatter that way on a shower curtain.

[Connor]

That's not what I'm saying. Jesus Christ. Can I not say a movie's mid?

[Donut Operator]

Well, we. We're asking what's a good movie?

[Brandon Rare]

It's just the decibels in which you say it.

[Eli Double Tap]

What's a good movie?

[Brandon Rare]

What's a good movie?

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah, what's a not mid movie?

[Connor]

Not mid movie.

[Eli Double Tap]

Like. Oh, brother.

[Brandon Rare]

Where art.

[Connor]

That was a great film.

[Brandon Rare]

All right. Yeah.

[King Trout]

Okay.

[Connor]

Yeah, everybody agreed with me on that.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, the trophy.

[Connor]

Mid.

[King Trout]

Did you like Interstellar?

[Connor]

Interstellar is fantastic. Yeah.

[King Trout]

Okay.

[Eli Double Tap]

How was the science?

[Connor]

Science was good. It was acceptable. They glossed over a lot of things.

[Donut Operator]

They did the tree, though.

[Connor]

The tree and Interstellar. When the books came off the shelf, top tier.

[Brandon Rare]

I will say that was the one thing about Project Hail Mary's. About halfway through the movie, I was like, this reminds me of like a more kid friendly version of it.

[Connor]

It was like if Marvel made Interstellar. But the puppetry was great.

[Eli Double Tap]

I just imagine Connor being like, I don't know.

[Brandon Rare]

You're gonna make me slur. 8.

[Donut Operator]

Sitting.

[Eli Double Tap]

Sitting in the movie theater with his parents watching Star Wars Episode one. Just fucking pissed. Because nobody's accurately explained how lightsabers work in real life.

[Connor]

No, but the puppetry was phenomenal.

[Eli Double Tap]

They use CGI for that one.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, if you would have said four.

[Brandon Rare]

No, because they literally did do puppetry in the first start with the Episode one because they had that shitty little Yoda.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, yeah. Fucking.

[Connor]

Oh, no, that was.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Connor]

New Hope 4.

[Brandon Rare]

No, no, episode 1 13.

[Donut Operator]

Episode 1.

[Brandon Rare]

They went to the 1998, 1999, whatever that was. They use the. The little puppet Yoda.

[Donut Operator]

I swore they.

[King Trout]

No, they just.

[Donut Operator]

Bad cgi.

[Brandon Rare]

I promise it's Ryan.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's bad cgi. I promise you.

[Donut Operator]

I'd almost go with Nick on this. Wait, which.

[Connor]

Which film?

[Brandon Rare]

Before the bet. Before the bet. What are we.

[Connor]

What are we betting on?

[Brandon Rare]

What are we betting on?

[Donut Operator]

What's it called? Episode one.

[Brandon Rare]

Phantom Menace.

[Donut Operator]

Phantom Menace.

[Brandon Rare]

What are we betting on? Hold on. Before we. Before we.

[Connor]

Wait, let's set the terms.

[Donut Operator]

Go on.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, God.

[Brandon Rare]

What do we want from each other?

[Donut Operator]

Oh, my God. Brandon is right.

[Connor]

Damn it. Wait. We didn't set the terms.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, you.

[Connor]

Eli.

[Brandon Rare]

I could have gotten something good out of Nick.

[Connor]

Double down.

[Donut Operator]

You can't sit,

[Eli Double Tap]

Bro.

[Donut Operator]

What? It's that bad of a difference?

[Brandon Rare]

I told you, I.

[Donut Operator]

Damn it.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Connor]

Oh, shit. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, yeah. We updated in the original or the 1990?

[Connor]

In the 1991. Phantom Menace. Yeah. He was a shit ass puppet dude. The puppetry was phenomenal.

[Donut Operator]

How do you remember that?

[Brandon Rare]

I was a Star wars kid.

[Donut Operator]

I can. I remember. I won the art contest. I drew Yoda and won free tickets for my family, which was a lot being a poor Mexican kid.

[Eli Double Tap]

I'm gonna tell you that story.

[Donut Operator]

They put it in a newspaper.

[Brandon Rare]

I did.

[King Trout]

The.

[Brandon Rare]

The reason I got into Star wars because was because they had the like the cereal box thing where if you cut out like fucking five of them, you get like a few free ticket to Attack of the Clones.

[Eli Double Tap]

That was the whole thing. Fat kid. So every time I think of Star wars episode one, all I can think about is do 3D. Do you remember those?

[Connor]

No.

[Eli Double Tap]

They made 3D Doritos and they were like promoting them heavily with Star Wars.

[Donut Operator]

Doritos? Yeah.

[Connor]

Oh, Doritos.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah.

[Connor]

Okay.

[Donut Operator]

So I thought I was hearing three dos. I was like, what is dos?

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, I remember they were like puffed out.

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah, they were like puffed. It's like you took a syringe and inside of one and like. And it went. And there was like an air pocket. Holy. They were so good.

[Brandon Rare]

I don't remember that.

[Eli Double Tap]

Oh, they're delicious.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, the little triangle.

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah.

[Connor]

3D. Doritos.

[Donut Operator]

Or Doritos, episode one calls them.

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah, I know. The Internet loves when I say

[Donut Operator]

Doritos.

[Brandon Rare]

I think that was the most passionate argument we've had on the pod. We've talked about all sorts of crazy on this podcast. That was probably the most impassioned we've been there. The ladies were getting upset. That's weird. The O is before the R.

[Connor]

No, D, R, R, I, T, O. Doritos.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah. Okay.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, you're right, dude, I forgot about that. Cody, you should remember this one.

[King Trout]

Oh no, I remember those. Yeah, because it was. Oh, there was another band that tried to like. Tried to do the same thing.

[Connor]

Something puffs.

[Donut Operator]

You put them on your fingertips.

[Connor]

Bugles.

[King Trout]

Bugles.

[Connor]

Bugles.

[Donut Operator]

Right.

[Connor]

Yeah. But Ruffles made puffs. Ruffles brand potato chips made puffs at the same time. We were all experimenting with food. It was getting crazy.

[Eli Double Tap]

And then Shrek came out and they made green ketchup.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah. Let's figure out how to put more high fructose corn syrup in everything.

[Connor]

Yeah. Have you ever woken up and felt the immediate need for a nicotine pouch? Slash and slash. Or a cup of coffee.

[Eli Double Tap]

I can't talk. It says no Nick on the can.

[Connor]

Yeah, no Nick allowed.

[Brandon Rare]

Big on. How many pouches, cups of coffee or energy drinks do you need throughout the day to stop from crashing?

[Connor]

Too many.

[Brandon Rare]

Did those things cause anxiety or make you feel on edge? I love edging. Well, that's why using Ultra pouches can be a game changer for your energy levels. Ultra is the ultimate guilt free pouch.

[Connor]

They deliver ultimate focus and energy that lasts one to two hours. All without nicotine or caffeine.

[King Trout]

Well, if they don't have nicotine, what's in them?

[Connor]

Great question. Ultra partnered with leading neurosciences to develop these pouches. Cody.

[King Trout]

You mean they have nootropics and adaptogens in them?

[Connor]

I know you mispronounce nootropics, but yeah, they got those nootropics and adaptogens.

[Brandon Rare]

They use nfinity. All rights reserved.

[Connor]

PX Alpha, GPC Healtheanine.

[Brandon Rare]

A totally naturally occurring amino acid and

[King Trout]

vitamin B6 and B12.

[Brandon Rare]

New customers can use the code unsub to get 15% off. Take ultra.com.

[Connor]

that's takeultra.com and use code unsub. Unsub. I can't spell. I hope you can.

[Brandon Rare]

After your purchase they're gonna ask you where you heard about them. Tell them unsub sends their regards.

[Connor]

Please, for the love of God, show your support. This the Star wars marketing. You could suck off Jar Jar Binks tongue. I don't know if y' all remember that.

[Donut Operator]

That's.

[Connor]

I'm not making.

[Donut Operator]

That's.

[Brandon Rare]

Are you serious?

[Donut Operator]

Yeah. That is.

[Connor]

It was like his mouth open.

[Donut Operator]

It was a weird.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, is it like the gum strips that came out or some shit or sucker.

[Connor]

And you open his mouth up and then you like Jar Jar. You like tongue Jar Jar.

[Donut Operator]

No, he's actually. This is an actual. It's a. Oh my God.

[Eli Double Tap]

Con.

[Donut Operator]

Do you know what this looks like? It's a fucking.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, no.

[Connor]

Yeah, once you've, once you finish sucking his tongue off, he can his mouth

[Eli Double Tap]

throat.

[Donut Operator]

Jar Jar,

[Brandon Rare]

dude, if you, you could put that on the Bad Dragon website today.

[Eli Double Tap]

Darth Jar Jar is still my favorite fan theory of all.

[King Trout]

Absolutely. I was about to say that he

[Connor]

is the Phantom Menace.

[Donut Operator]

Yes.

[King Trout]

He, he's like, no, no, no.

[Donut Operator]

Cody just stops. He's retarded.

[Connor]

His period.

[Donut Operator]

And then.

[King Trout]

Nick, that's what made him the best sith, though, because he was absolutely fucking retarded.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, well, it was an act, I thought. Yeah, that's the thing.

[Eli Double Tap]

It's like every, every Jedi or whatever, every main Jedi is like based off a certain style of kung fu. And they're saying that Jar Jar is the drunken fist that portrays himself to be incompetent. But that's why he can run into an enemy battle and take out tanks and a bunch of other stupid random

[Donut Operator]

shit without never die.

[Eli Double Tap]

Ever getting hurt. Ever getting. He's the only character in Star wars that can casually jump 20ft in the air and do a triple front flip into a perfect dive. And nobody's like, that mother is not using the Force.

[Brandon Rare]

I really do wonder if the reason why he was. Because he was still the reason why Palpatine. Palpatine was voted into power single handedly, canonically, but like the retard, as you

[Connor]

so called him, got elected into Congress or Galactic Senate.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, just.

[King Trout]

Well, yeah, because he was the one that said we should hand over all the power to the emperor.

[Brandon Rare]

Well, I really wonder if the reason. I wonder if the reason that wasn't a bigger plot point was because, like, George Lucas saw the fan backlash after Episode one. They're like, everybody hated this character. Like, okay, let's like just kind of tone that down.

[Donut Operator]

Well, they focused on it for toys. That's why Jar Jar was. They admit that it is. Oh, we developed this character to make a whole bunch of money on action figures.

[Brandon Rare]

Hasbro.

[Donut Operator]

And they're like, oh, okay, that's the only reason Jar Jar Binks existed.

[Brandon Rare]

Well, it's just like the little fucking ball robot. Like the soccer ball robot from the new trilogy bba. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Which made a metric shit ton of money.

[Brandon Rare]

Yep. That was just.

[Connor]

They started that toy slop way back in the day with the fucking E Blocks. Which the. Yeah, like the Ewoks original films. I watched them because. Yeah, like being born in the 90s.

[Eli Double Tap]

George Lucas hits a blunt. What if the Vietcong were adorable?

[Connor]

Well, that's what I was going to say my favorite character in the. The original trilogy is the. The, the. The.

[Brandon Rare]

The trees are speaking. Chuba wumba.

[Connor]

The fish guy who's piloting the. The. The thing with. What's his name? The black dude from Cloud City.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, yeah, Lando.

[Donut Operator]

Lando.

[Connor]

Lando, like the little Italian fish? No, he's very Asian. He's this little bug eyed fish. And then it like cuts to him and he's like, he's like, what do you think? Ching Chong? And he's like,

[Brandon Rare]

I think there's literally a cutaway.

[Donut Operator]

He just goes.

[Eli Double Tap]

And you weren't. You weren't overtly furious that he understood him immediately?

[Connor]

Yeah. Does that come with. Does that come with roll. But the puppetry was great. If I was a character in Star Wars, I'd be that little rat guy who hangs out on Jabba the Hut's tail.

[Eli Double Tap]

I'm tweeting that.

[Donut Operator]

Actually.

[Connor]

You can't steal my joke. No.

[Eli Double Tap]

George Lucas hits blunt one of the Viet.

[Connor]

Dude, that pullback mushing atsts with logs.

[Donut Operator]

Hear me out.

[Connor]

The C3PO being a. He speaks ten thousand languages or a hundred thousand, seven hundred thousand. Doesn't matter. I'd lose Star wars trivia. But then he can't pretend to be a God to some little teddy bears in the woods. Suck my. You gay ass robot.

[Donut Operator]

I love these conversations.

[Connor]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rare]

All the girls like, oh, he's probably out cheating on me. What? Guys actually talking.

[Connor]

I literally scared the hoes. They all left the house. Not to call your women.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah. Oh, no, they're hiding.

[Connor]

Oh, flipping me off the hose.

[Donut Operator]

Ran away.

[Connor]

C3PO's gay. I would have left 10 minutes ago, but I'm trapped in chair prison. I was going to do a back handspring, but locked up. Oh, dude, the puppetry was so good. So great. Realistic props.

[Donut Operator]

We don't have any good Star wars period. Now. They're all dog shit.

[Connor]

Really? In movies. What's.

[Brandon Rare]

It's all fucking Disney now.

[Donut Operator]

But repeating the exact same story.

[Brandon Rare]

I.

[Donut Operator]

It's repeating the same story every time. What is episode? Was it four or five? Six. So seven was a Death Star again. One, two, or. Sorry. Three, four, five. You have Death Star. Death Star. Death Star, Right.

[Brandon Rare]

What?

[Donut Operator]

For how they end.

[Brandon Rare]

Like, I know what you're. Yeah, it's like episode four is Death Star. Episode six is Death Star.

[Donut Operator]

Yep.

[Brandon Rare]

And then the new trilogy, the first one, like, is Death Star, like seven star?

[Donut Operator]

Yep. It's just a repeated movie. It's like the Batman. The.

[Brandon Rare]

To be fair, Death Stars concept.

[Donut Operator]

Oh, Christopher Nolan.

[King Trout]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Batman movies, they all have the exact same plot.

[Brandon Rare]

Okay, I've not heard this great.

[Donut Operator]

Okay, so amazing movies, right?

[Connor]

Batman take. But go on.

[Donut Operator]

They're great movies.

[Brandon Rare]

So you didn't like the puppetry was ass.

[Donut Operator]

You like the three Christopher Nolan?

[Connor]

Yeah, of course.

[Donut Operator]

Fucking amazing. One, two and three. What is the main thing that he is trying to stop a bomb going

[Connor]

off in Gotham

[Donut Operator]

and all.

[Connor]

All three times?

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Connor]

Well, yeah, not really each time.

[Donut Operator]

First one, ninja.

[Brandon Rare]

One's a chemical. Chemical weapon.

[Donut Operator]

And it's gonna go off in the.

[Brandon Rare]

It already was the fear toss off.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, it was the time counting down.

[Brandon Rare]

So.

[Donut Operator]

Because it was going at the.

[Brandon Rare]

Well, Dark Knight, though, there was a

[Donut Operator]

couple different down with two different bombs. You have the.

[Brandon Rare]

Because, well, he was a bomber. There was a multiple different bombs. There was like the. The. The fairy bomb and shit like that too though.

[Donut Operator]

And we'll watch it begin. And he counts down. I know. And then number three.

[Brandon Rare]

It was a literal nuke.

[Donut Operator]

But yeah, to fly off. And they count down. Star.

[Connor]

He's the new.

[Donut Operator]

Yep.

[Brandon Rare]

Okay, so so far the only reason that they have the same plot is that there was a bomb.

[Donut Operator]

All a bomb counting down. And I have to save Gotham. Please.

[Brandon Rare]

Well, I mean, even in the old Adam West Batman, they have the giant like cartoon bomb with the fuse.

[Donut Operator]

I know, but when you have three different movies, like, I got an idea. You know what we did in the first one? Everyone loved it. Let's just do it again. And now it is clown juice or whatever.

[Brandon Rare]

What a clown juice.

[Eli Double Tap]

I'll be honest, I see what you're saying, but I don't follow it. Yeah, it's like, guys, if war breaks out again, they're probably going to use guns. The writers in real life need to get their shit together. Effective. Effective, man.

[Connor]

Nobody's arguing against me. When I was ranting about that gay ass movie that nobody will remember in two years. The puppetry was great. What's it called?

[Donut Operator]

Drive Project Hell.

[Connor]

Oh, project, project.

[King Trout]

The guy with the hammer.

[Donut Operator]

Yeah, Project La La Land.

[Connor]

La La Land.

[Brandon Rare]

Yes.

[Connor]

With Ryan Gosling. The puppetry was great, dude.

[Donut Operator]

The Batman movies, even the third one, when he lights the emblem on the bridge so he saves Gordon from the ice breaking through. Do you remember this?

[Connor]

Gordon Freeman?

[Donut Operator]

Yes, yes, Gordon. And it's like, oh, he didn't fall through the ice because. And then he says, light it. And then the symbol lights up in the background. It's like that's the symbol of.

[Connor]

Well, he's showing that he's there. He's showing the people of Gotham City.

[Donut Operator]

Now, think about this.

[Connor]

The third one's my favorite. Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

But now imagine Bruce Wayne went there,

[Connor]

poured gasoline all the way to that fucking bridge, made a bat one minute.

[Eli Double Tap]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

And walked back.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Donut Operator]

This dude stopped, painted gas on a fucking bridge, then came back and lit it.

[Connor]

I almost dropped off.

[Brandon Rare]

Never heard Eli so impassioned about a subject, and it turns out to be Batman.

[Connor]

I almost threw that out on the Rome one. I was like.

[Donut Operator]

I was like.

[Connor]

But dog.

[Donut Operator]

No, but he.

[Connor]

Hypothetically, he's got, you know, his bat shit. That.

[Brandon Rare]

What do you call that?

[Connor]

Well, that. The little hover bat thing.

[Brandon Rare]

What'd you say?

[Connor]

Say it.

[Brandon Rare]

Coward.

[Connor]

Coward. He's got the levitating bat thing, and it shoots out the bat symbol in gasoline. Light that on fire. I get that. He doesn't have to paint it.

[Donut Operator]

That's what I think your Batman's like, just floating, drawing a fucking giant as opposed to a gas can, or he's either just sliding down, hanging off something and then painting it. So no matter what, Batman sat there and painted a bat for hours. One minute.

[King Trout]

If I move the things where they're, like, washing the windows, dropping down every couple feet, painting gasoline on the wall,

[Brandon Rare]

there's like spreading napalm on the fucking side of a building.

[Donut Operator]

The first, I was like, batman did that for that entire thing. Because that's Batman 3, right?

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Connor]

Dark Knight Rises, which my hot take is. That was the best of the three of them. Everybody disagrees with me. The middle one, two gets. Gets all the hot shit because Heath Ledger had to go and OD on heroin.

[King Trout]

And now I would have killed fucking Debo's boat so quick.

[Donut Operator]

Who?

[King Trout]

You remember, they had the two boats.

[Brandon Rare]

I forgot that was Debo.

[King Trout]

Deebo had the switch, and he was like, no, we going to throw this out the window? If I was in the other boat, I would have smoked his boat, bro. I would have slimed his boat so quick.

[Brandon Rare]

He's full of prisoners, right?

[Donut Operator]

Yeah.

[King Trout]

There's a bunch of felons on this other boat.

[Brandon Rare]

I would have grabbed that. You didn't even know they had a remote.

[Connor]

Sure wouldn't have saved Maggie Gyllenhaal.

[Donut Operator]

I did that. That took hours of my.

[King Trout]

Got the need.

[Brandon Rare]

All right? Devil's advocate. He's a billionaire. He could have just been paid a couple of those window washers guys to do that in gasoline.

[Connor]

I think that the implication there is almost as if other people did that for him to announce his arrival.

[Donut Operator]

Batman, he just saved all the cops from getting shot into the river.

[Brandon Rare]

And he's like,

[Donut Operator]

please tell me how he's the one that handed the flames

[Connor]

my biggest. If we're going to talk realism in that film, aside from the gasoline bat symbol on the side of the bridge, Cody, you were a police officer. Hypothetically, let's say there's a terrorist who is assembling a group of ne' er do wells in the underground subway system in a city. Would you, again, hypothetically, take every police officer in the city and have them go investigate simultaneously?

[King Trout]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Donut Operator]

Also, again, Batman.

[King Trout]

That's what kill me about that.

[Donut Operator]

Batman also thought, before I do that, before I save these guys, because they. He barely saved them. He painted that gas thing.

[Brandon Rare]

Also. We're just.

[King Trout]

That.

[Donut Operator]

That.

[King Trout]

That also killed me. That whole part where they took every cop underground, where every cops is like, yeah,

[Donut Operator]

good job.

[Eli Double Tap]

Commercial.

[Donut Operator]

Everybody got better.

[King Trout]

And they're just.

[Brandon Rare]

Also, we're just like, really, really just moving past the fact that Bane was able to enrich uranium and develop a thermonuclear weapon.

[Connor]

No, he got it from. Or whatever. They talk about it in the movie. No, no. Yeah, it was the.

[Donut Operator]

It was.

[Connor]

He. They talk about it in the movie because he stole it from one of.

[Brandon Rare]

One of the nine nuclear powers 2,000 years ago.

[Connor]

Duristan, Herka, Stan. We all know him. We. We all love him.

[King Trout]

Still a cool opening to a movie, though. Me or what was the whole line like, if I take that mask. Oh, it's such a good actor. He's like, if I take that mask

[Brandon Rare]

off of you, it will be extraordinarily painful for.

[Donut Operator]

For you.

[Connor]

If I you in the ass, would it hurt?

[Brandon Rare]

Probably.

[Connor]

Hold on, let me take the bug out. Dude. I saw that movie in the original theater cut before they recut it. They had to redub the entire film. Like the original cut of the film.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah.

[Connor]

Zack Snyder, original director of that Christopher Nolan film, when saw it the first time and I walked in and there were like. There were a decent amount of people in the theater, but it was that first scene on the plane that Cody's talking about, and it's Bane comes on. He's like. And everybody in the theater was like. Like, we're making eye contact with each other.

[Brandon Rare]

Oh, I remember.

[Connor]

Are we all agreeing we can't understand what the fuck he's saying?

[Brandon Rare]

I don't know why they did that in the first place. Because if you go back and you watch the original cuts of that movie, like the original voiceover, it's bad.

[Connor]

The Zack Snider cut.

[Brandon Rare]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Connor]

Yeah.

[Brandon Rare]

It was the Justice League cut of Batman.

[Donut Operator]

I forget why they did it, but they did fix it after.

[Connor]

It's cuz he couldn't understand what he was saying.

[Donut Operator]

That's. That's why. Well they released it and it was like we can't understand what the he's saying. I just don't understand how he sat down. He's like, that's perfect. Cuz that got approved by a ton of people to go to movie theaters for a release. And he's like, it's perfect.

[Brandon Rare]

Like dude, I'm so deaf. I have to like I have to watch movies with subtitles on anyway. Which. Did you see that? They're talking about offering that in theaters now. What, like subtitles on movies?

[Donut Operator]

No, I hope not.

[Connor]

Oh, if they play subtitles and films and movies, I'm gonna leave.

[Donut Operator]

I don't like.

[Eli Double Tap]

I agree.

[King Trout]

I can't wait till we're in a bar fight and then Connor Connors hammer face screaming Batman things. And then I go to him like

[Eli Double Tap]

someone has to stay in the wreckage, brother.

[Donut Operator]

I can't wait.

[King Trout]

We all sprint out the front.

[Eli Double Tap]

I can't wait until we're all sitting here beat up after a bar fight and we decided to come film after and I get to listen to Conor pissed off and yelling. It was the most mid bar fight ever.

[Donut Operator]

It was.

[Eli Double Tap]

It wasn't that big of a deal. Puppetry.

[Connor]

The puppetry was amazing, dude. There was nobody worth. I don't know why we got in a fight in the first place. The Zack Snyder cut of this bar fight.

[Eli Double Tap]

Nick choked some guy out with some choke. Nobody bothered to explain how he did it. We just accepted the fact that Nick choked a guy out and now we posted bail and we're here. I'm pissed about it.

[Connor]

Somebody posted a comment on. It was one of the unsub clip channels or Yalls clip channel.

[Brandon Rare]

I guess that would be unsub. Yes.

[Connor]

Yeah, well, shut the up. Jesus Christ. Dude. I don't know how you work with this guy.

[Eli Double Tap]

You live with him.

[Connor]

I don't.

[Eli Double Tap]

Sorry. Comment clip.

[Connor]

Nick digresses. But somebody commented and they were like why does Trout always look like he just got in a bar fight last week? And it was on the video where I had got punched in the face the night before.

[Donut Operator]

I was like, oh man,

[Brandon Rare]

that did happen.

[Donut Operator]

I forgot about that.

[Connor]

Yeah, I got the scars for it and everything.

[Brandon Rare]

Other than that. Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

[Connor]

What was that play called? My. My cousin who got shot in the back of the Head. I hear the puppetry was fantastic. Sick. Semper. The puppetry and all that.

[Donut Operator]

I think I'm. That's a good gang episode.

[Eli Double Tap]

Puppetry and bat signals.

[Donut Operator]

All right.

[Brandon Rare]

It was certainly a gang episode.

[Connor]

You're welcome. I invited myself. Oh, shit. Admin's here.

[Donut Operator]

Cody closes out. You beautiful son of a A. Bye, everyone.

[King Trout]

Thank you for joining the unsubscribed podcast. I was joined by Eli Double Tap, fat electrician, King Trout, Brandon Rare, myself, donut operator. Thank you for being here.

[Eli Double Tap]

Goodbye. Love you.

[Brandon Rare]

You know my name.

[Host]

This podcast is brought to you by Carvana. Selling your car should feel like one less thing on your list. Not one more. With Carvana, it is. Just go to Carvana.com Enter your license plate or VIN and get a real offer. Down to the penny. No back and forth, no surprises. Just an experience you can trust. Like your offer. Accept it, schedule pickup and we'll come to you with a check in hand. Your car, your timeline, your terms. Visit Carvana.com to sell your car today.

[Connor]

Carvana.

[Host]

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