Podcast Summary: NPR Up First – "Best Friends and Life Partners"

Date: December 14, 2025
Host: Ayesha Rascoe
Featured Guest: Raina Cohen (NPR editor, producer, and author of The Other Significant Others)
Theme: The power, depth, and societal value of platonic life partnerships and friendships

Episode Overview

This episode of "The Sunday Story" with Ayesha Rascoe goes beyond the day's headlines for a heartfelt discussion about friendships that transcend conventional boundaries. Inspired by both her personal story of buying a house and co-parenting with her best friend Jasmine, and by Raina Cohen's acclaimed book The Other Significant Others, Ayesha explores how close, non-romantic relationships can shape—and even redefine—family and life partnership.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Stories of Platonic Life Partnerships

• Ayesha’s Story: Ayesha shares how she bought a house with her best friend Jasmine, and together they're platonically co-parenting their combined family of five children (00:15–01:45).
  • "Some people say, is it like the Brady Bunch? Well, a little bit. ... We get up in the morning, we get the kids ready… and now we are living together with my three kids and her two kids." (Ayesha, 00:27)
• She notes how friendship became her support system after divorce, and that her friendship with Jasmine fulfills emotional and practical needs not met by romantic partners alone (05:12–06:41).

2. The Nature and Value of Close Friendships

• Raina’s Experience: Raina Cohen describes the intensity and emotional resonance of her own close friendship, “Em,” and how it mirrored romantic relationships—except for the absence of sex (07:18–08:57).
  • "I really felt the kind of excitement that I had felt in romantic relationships, but it was just in a friendship.” (Raina, 07:37)
  • "I wrote in my journal… that I felt like I was falling in love with her. Not so differently from the way I felt like I fell in love with my now husband." (Raina, 08:23)
• Societal blindspots: Raina notes the lack of language and recognition for such friendships, despite their emotional significance (09:14–10:08).
  • “Why don't we have a name for a relationship that is one of the most important connections a person has in their life?” (Raina, 09:21)
• Interviewees describe their relationships using terms like “platonic life partner,” “life mate,” and “friendship love partner,” highlighting the awkwardness and inadequacy of existing terminology (10:00–10:12).

3. Challenging Relationship Norms

• Assumptions and Stereotypes: Raina discusses how culture frames romantic partners as “the main character” in one’s story, limiting the perceived value and role of friendships (10:21–11:41).
  • “If you’re supposed to get everything in one person... that doesn’t really leave much room for friends.” (Raina, 10:28)
• Ayesha adds, referencing the kids’ movie Boss Baby, that “love isn’t limited,” suggesting space for a fuller, more supportive network beyond romantic partnerships (11:41–11:59).

4. The Historical Roots of Deep Friendship

• Historic Recognition: Raina presents evidence from history that friendships were once far more central, including the practice of "sworn brotherhood" and “romantic friendships” with effusive closeness (12:17–13:37).
  • “There was this idea that friendship could contain a lot of these bigger emotions and also more devotion than we think about now.” (Raina, 13:20)
• Connections are drawn to biblical examples like David and Jonathan, whose “deep and abiding love” is still referenced as a friendship ideal (13:37–13:58).

5. Modern Examples and Challenges

• Barb & Inez’s Story: Showcased as a model modern partnership, these two women have shared a life for 50 years, including raising children, weathering losses, and jointly buying a home (14:28–18:21).
  • “We began functioning as a unit that we would back each other up.” (Inez, 15:29)
  • After loss: “That was very hard for us. That was very, very hard.” (Inez, 16:42)
• Practical Barriers: Both legal and social systems make it hard for friends to support each other, such as hospital access and lack of family leave for non-spouses (18:49–21:06).
  • “We just have these really strict dividing lines about what family gets, what spouses get, and friends are really left out.” (Raina, 20:48)

6. Rethinking Commitment & Celebration

• Rituals and Recognition: The conversation highlights how friendship lacks the ceremonies, songs, and public rituals available to romantic relationships, despite carrying similar or even deeper commitment (22:17–23:10).
  • "If this episode were a rom com, it would probably end with a wedding. But there aren’t ceremonies like that to celebrate friendship.” (Ayesha, 22:17)

Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Family and Support:
  • “They do makeovers on each other… So it’s a lot of fun seeing the kids really like enjoying each other and growing up with each other.” (Ayesha, 01:41)
• Friendship as Romantic:
  • “Friendships can be super romantic. I mean, that was a thing I discovered with Em… I felt like I was falling in love with her. Not so differently from the way I had fallen in love with my now husband.” (Raina, 07:56–08:23)
• On Social Blindspots:
  • “In the drama of your life, a romantic partner is supposed to be the main character, and the friends are the supporting cast.” (Raina, 10:40)
• On Historic Friendship:
  • “There’s a chapel… at Oxford that marks the joint burial of two men… they were ceremonially turned into brothers and expected to protect each other for the rest of their lives.” (Raina, 12:24)
• On Legal/Practical Challenges:
  • “Can you imagine being left out in the cold on a winter day in the Midwest while the person you really care for is in distress?” (Raina, 20:08)
• On Celebration and Representation:
  • “There aren’t songs about friendship that get at the real lows and also the real highs… We could use more music.” (Raina, 22:44–23:10)

Key Segment Timestamps

• Ayesha’s blended family story: 00:15–01:45
• On meeting Jasmine and building friendship: 05:12–06:41
• Raina’s emotional friendship with Em: 07:18–08:57
• Language and naming these relationships: 09:14–10:12
• Societal assumptions about relationships: 10:21–11:41
• Historical examples of intense friendship: 12:17–13:37
• Barb & Inez’s moving partnership: 14:28–18:21
• Practical, legal, and social hurdles for friends: 18:49–21:06
• Lack of rituals/songs for friendship: 22:17–23:10
• Original song “Dear Friend” for Barb & Inez: 23:20–24:14

Closing and Takeaways

• The episode underscores that friendship, often undervalued and overlooked, can provide the same emotional fulfillment, security, and depth—even the same sense of family—as romantic or biological relationships.
• There is a pressing need for society and legal structures to better recognize and support these ‘other significant’ partnerships.
• The show ends with the original song “Dear Friend,” filling a cultural gap by celebrating the devotion and joy of lifelong friendship.

Final Thought:
“True friendship and that true bond is really—it should be celebrated.” (Ayesha, 24:14)

Recommended for:
Listeners curious about non-traditional family structures, the social history of friendship, and the untapped potential of platonic love and partnership.