Episode 2: An Unreasonable Act

Summary

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Valley of Shadows — Episode 2: An Unreasonable Act

Release Date: January 12, 2026
Produced by: Pushkin Industries
Hosts: Hayley Fox & Betsy Shepherd

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Episode Overview

In this haunting episode, investigative reporters Hayley Fox and Betsy Shepherd examine the controversial disappearance of Los Angeles County Sheriff's Deputy Jon Aujay in 1998, and the subsequent death of his police dog, Bosco. Through emotional interviews and deep dives into conflicting police reports, the episode scrutinizes the LASD’s unwavering claim that Aujay died by suicide after marital troubles, despite substantial evidence to the contrary—including signs of possible police misconduct and corruption. The question at the heart of the episode: If the department is lying about what happened to Bosco, what else might they be hiding about Aujay’s fate?

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Bosco’s Fate: A Parallel Tragedy

Timestamp: 03:04 – 09:17

• Bosco’s Relationship With Aujay: The episode opens with a touching portrait of Deputy Aujay’s deep bond with his canine partner, Bosco, highlighting their central role in family life and police work.
• Conflicting Accounts of Bosco’s Death:
  • Officially, LASD reported Bosco died of natural causes after Aujay's disappearance—possibly from a "broken heart."
  • Mike Bauer, former LASD K9 captain and Aujay’s close friend, uncovers an alternate, disturbing account: that fellow deputies fatally shot Bosco and disposed of his body in a dumpster, deeming him "dangerous" without Aujay to handle him.
  • Quote [08:44]: “You would expect a police organization that had ceremonies to honor their dogs to give a shit about that issue.” — Mike Bauer
• Bauer’s Confrontation with the Department: When Bauer seeks answers, he’s urged by higher-ups to drop his concerns, told bluntly:
  • Quote [09:05]: “We all agreed that it was a suicide and you should just let it go. No, I’m not going to let it go.” — Mike Bauer relaying conversation with LASD brass

2. The Last Sighting and the Suicide Narrative

Timestamp: 09:36 – 19:15

• Last Known Encounter: Schoolteacher Dave Evanson and his students saw Aujay at Devil’s Punchbowl just before his disappearance. Evanson remembers Aujay acting upbeat and engaged, particularly with children who recognized him from community events.
  • Quotes:
    • “To me, that does not sound like someone who’s going out to the woods to take his own life.” — Narrator [11:21]
    • “He was happy. He was full of life. Happy. Having fun, talking to the kids.” — Dave Evanson [12:27]
• LASD’s Suicide Conclusion: Despite Evanson’s recollection, the LASD persists with its suicide theory, citing Aujay’s supposed marital distress and missing gun, denied public records requests by citing an "ongoing investigation."
• Bauer’s Investigation: Bauer collects internal department reports and confidential documents, contesting many claims made in official statements.

3. Dissecting the Suicide Theory

Timestamp: 14:05 – 26:38

• Marital Struggles and Counseling:
  • Debbie Ajay (Aujay’s wife) recounts their troubled relationship and a particularly gloomy counseling session the day before Jon’s disappearance. The department seizes on this to build its suicide narrative.
  • Debbie disputes the more extreme characterizations attributed to her in the suicide report, such as calling her husband "psychotic."
  • Quote: “There’s a world of difference between intense looking eyes and psychosis.” — Narrator [18:05]
• Life Plans and the ‘Goodbye’: Contrary to the department’s stance, evidence surfaces that Aujay was planning for a future, especially with his close friend and potential romantic partner Vicki DeVita.

4. Hidden Details and Contradictions

Timestamp: 22:16 – 33:11

• Aujay’s Secret Relationship:
  • Aujay’s deep bond with DeVita, an ultramarathon runner, is discussed. She reveals he was in the midst of planning a new life, giving her treasured heirlooms and expressing relief at separating from Debbie.
• Cherry-Picked Evidence: Bauer and Shepherd highlight how the LASD appeared to select only evidence that fit the suicide theory, while ignoring or de-emphasizing facts that suggested otherwise.
  • Quote: “Our main takeaway … is that the suicide theory isn’t based on hard facts. It’s based on supposed objective accounts of Jon A’s behavior … It’s a matter of interpretation.” — Mike Bauer [26:38]

5. The Missing Gun — and a Botched Investigation

Timestamp: 34:26 – 37:22

• Initial Search at the Punchbowl: First-responding deputies, including Randy Heberle, report seeing Aujay’s gun inside his locked truck—debunking the suicide method assumption. Yet, the gun is never entered into evidence nor mentioned in reports, later vanishing without a trace.
  • Quote: “There’s a couple deputies that swear there was a gun there. And yet … there’s no indication that that gun was ever booked into evidence.” — Sgt. Vince Burton [36:16]
• No Processing of the Truck: The LASD failed to process Aujay’s vehicle for evidence because, as they argued, it was not “a murder.” This, coupled with the gun’s unexplained disappearance, raises further doubts about the thoroughness and integrity of the investigation.

6. Toll on the Aujay Family

Timestamp: 41:25 – 43:50

• Aftermath for Debbie and Chloe: The emotional and financial devastation left behind: Debbie loses her home and stability; Chloe, their daughter, eventually succumbs to years of trauma, dying by suicide at 26.
  • Quote: “Your father did not abandon you. He was taken from you.” — Mike Bauer to Chloe [42:06]
• Bauer’s Motivation: Bauer’s tireless advocacy stems from witnessing these cascading losses, and his conviction that the department’s narrative and inaction directly contributed to the pain inflicted on those left behind.
  • Quote: “…the LA County Sheriff’s Department, the institution he swore allegiance to for 33 years, has told a lie so big … it’s wormed its way through time, destroying lives…” — Narrator [43:58]

7. Murder Theories, Meth Labs, and Police Rumors

Timestamp: 44:37 – 46:36

• Murder, Not Suicide? Several former colleagues, including Dave Rathbun, now lean heavily toward believing Aujay was murdered, dismissing the suicide explanation as outdated and illogical.
  • Quote: “Early on, I let the suicide theory sit at 50/50. As I’ve learned more, I’m at about 90-95% murder, 5-10% suicide.” — Dave Rathbun [44:58]
• Meth Lab Rumors: Speculation persists that Aujay may have stumbled onto local illicit activity (meth labs, outlaw bikers) and been killed as a result. The LASD’s lack of will to investigate such angles is sharply criticized.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You’d have to say, how was he going to be dishonored?” — Dave Rathbun challenging the suicide narrative [27:15]
• “It's pretty dishonorable to just abandon your five-year-old daughter.” — Dave Rathbun [28:23]
• “If Jon Ajay didn’t die by suicide, what happened to him?” — Haley Fox [44:37]

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Important Timestamps

• 03:04 – 09:17: The tragic fate of Bosco, Aujay’s police dog, and what it reveals.
• 11:00 – 13:00: Last sighting of Aujay by local schoolchildren and teacher Dave Evanson.
• 17:36 – 18:05: Debbie Ajay clarifies her statements, disputing the “psychotic” label ascribed to her husband.
• 23:45 – 24:45: Debbie Ajay denies Jon made suicidal threats; explores his intentions to move out.
• 34:26 – 37:22: Witnesses confirm Aujay’s gun was in his truck, undermining suicide-by-gun theory.
• 41:25 – 42:06: Bauer’s dedication to helping Chloe, Aujay’s daughter, through her trauma.
• 44:58: Dave Rathbun expresses near-total certainty Aujay was murdered.

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Tone & Style

The episode mixes emotional testimony, investigative skepticism, and granular detail. The hosts’ tone is determined but empathetic, giving significant weight to the voices of those left behind and to Bauer’s quest for truth, while methodically scrutinizing the official story.

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Conclusion

Episode 2 of Valley of Shadows unravels the allegedly closed case of Jon Aujay’s disappearance, revealing a web of questionable police conduct, departmental stonewalling, and the heartbreaking ripple effects on Aujay’s family. With a blend of dogged investigation and compassion, it asks: If the official story is built on shaky foundations, what really happened in Devil’s Punchbowl on June 11, 1998?

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Next Episode Teaser:
The search for alternative theories about Jon Aujay’s fate continues, as the hosts pursue leads involving the Mojave meth trade, outlaw biker connections, and the possibility of a police cover-up.

Transcript

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Pushkin subscribe to Pushkin to hear the entire season of Valley of Shadows ad free starting January 12th. You'll also get bonus episodes, full audiobooks and early ad free listening from your favorite Pushkin hosts and authors. Find Pushkin plus on the Valley of Shadows show page on Apple Podcast or at Pushkin FM plus and thanks for your support.

[Mike Bauer]

This series includes content that may not be suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised. Previously on Valley of Shadows. It's an all out manhunt for John Awjay. The 38 year old went hiking Thursday in a rugged section of the Angeles National Forest known as Devil Punchbowls Park.

[Dave Evanson]

He says, you know, there's a bunch of caves and stuff out here. You can pretty much disappear and nobody would ever find you.

[Dave Rathbun]

I participated in that search until my feet were bloody. But day six they said, well shut it down. Why are you shutting it down? Well, they say that they decided he committed suicide.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

I kept contacting homicide and saying something's wrong. I'm telling you there's a problem.

[Dave Rathbun]

There's something rotten in the wood pile and it stinks and I can smell it.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Deputy John Auge disappeared while jogging in the Devil's Punch bowl on June 11, 1998. A couple weeks later, something tragic would also happen to his department issued canine Bosco. And there are more than a few parallels between what happened to the two. Bosco was a Belgian Malinois, which looks like a leaner version of a German shepherd. Ajay got him as a puppy, trained him to do police work, and brought the dog home to live with him, his wife Deb, and their daughter Chloe. I've had my dog, Stringer Bell, for over a decade. Hey, Stringer Bell. Hey, Stringer Bell, you wanna run around? He's a protector and 85 pounds of emotional support. You wanna run on the grass? You gonna eat some grass? My home life revolves around my dog, just as the Ajays did around Bosco. We can tell because the dog's front and center in dozens of family photos. Those pictures now belong to Ajay's captain, Mike Bauer, and he shares them with us. Oh, my gosh, look at this picture of Chloe and the dog.

[Mike Bauer]

Yeah, you can tell that they were raised together.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

She's like, squeezing the dog's neck, like their heads are pushed together, like you would like your best buddy. Chloe appears to be three or four in the photo. Her arms are barely able to reach around Bosco's neck, so she leans in to make it happen, smiling from ear to ear. Bosco looks annoyed, like an older sibling would, which is essentially what he was. And there was another important Bosco memento. Bauer came across it while rifling through Ajay's patrol vehicle just days after he was reported missing.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

I found his tape recorder in the visor with tape in it. A little tape recorder like I have.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Bauer points to a micro cassette player, something he uses for audio interviews and personal memos.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

And so I brought it in the office, I played it, and it's charming as hell.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

The recording was a snapshot of John and Bosco's relationship. Bauer doesn't have it anymore, but he recaps it for us, and it's easy for me to imagine.

[Mike Bauer]

Let's go. Ready? Let's go.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

He was playing fetch somewhere in, like a high school field or somewhere out there in Antelope Valley. He's throwing the ball to Bosco and he's going, yeah, Bosco. And Bosco's barking and they're doing a training exercise.

[Interviewer]

Good job.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

You tried so hard. The connection canine cops have to their dogs is something special because they're together all the time in the trenches, working during the day and unwinding together at night.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

When you talk about John's relationship with his dog, you have to understand he's a one man unit and that's his partner. And it's a bond and it's a big deal because that dog saves that officer's life. The officer's in charge of the dog like a child.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

K9 officers become so bonded to their dogs that when one of these animals passes away, the Sheriff's department gives it a funeral like it would a uniformed officer. An American flag is draped over the dog's casket. A military band plays Taps. Mourners give eulogies, and riflemen send the dog off with a 21 gun salute. After Ajay vanished, Bauer hears that someone from the department retrieved Bosco from the Ajay home. Bauer's confused because he was the person overseeing the K9 unit. So if someone was to give the order to bring in Bosco, it should have been him.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

And I started searching for the dog. Where's the dog? I was told that dog died at the kennel during a vet exam. And most likely the dog had some sort of heart problem.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

The LA Sheriff's Department tells Bauer and the press that Bosco was taken to a police kennel where he died of natural causes, that the dog stopped eating after Ajay disappeared, and the dog may.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

Have died of a broken heart because its master was gone. That's the kind of sappy crap I was told at the time.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Years later, Bauer hears a different account from a friend of Ajay's.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

She said, it's a shame that dog had to be destroyed. I said, wait a minute. Bosco died in a vet exam from some sort of heart attack from missing his master.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

So Bauer makes some phone calls and eventually reaches a deputy who we're not going to name. And this deputy claims that he and a colleague killed Bosco. Bauer met him at a diner and recorded their conversation.

[Interviewer]

He's going to bite all these people.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

And I got to tell him before he does, he says, I shot that dog with my.25. I said, in its kennel? He says, yeah. I said, you killed the dog?

[Interviewer]

He says, yeah, throw him in a dumpster.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

20 cents. The deputy says it cost them 20 cents. The price of a bullet to take out Bosco. He says they did it because the dog was dangerous. Without John Ajay there to control it, Bosco should have been reassigned to another deputy. Or if the dog was a liability, it should have been properly euthanized.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

You would expect a police organization that had ceremonies to honor their dogs to give a shit about that issue.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Instead of getting a police burial, Bosco was tossed in a dumpster behind the kennel where he was shot. Bauer's pissed, and he confronts the higher ups at the lasd.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

I see you guys. What happened to Bosco, Mike? I don't know. But. But. But we just stop this. We all agreed that it was a suicide and you should just let it go. No, I'm not going to let it go.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

The department says it makes no difference what happened to Bosco. Ajay died by suicide, so case closed. But if the LASD would lie about Bosco, what else might they be lying about? I'm haley fox.

[Mike Bauer]

I'm betsy shepherd. And this is valley of shadows, Episode two, an unreasonable act. The Devil's Punch bowl on June 11, 1998. It's a scene we're going to keep returning to because the story of what happened to John Auge is like the sedimentary rock formations in the park. It builds up over time and changes shape as new layers are added. One of those layers comes from the last known person to talk to Ajay. Before his disappearance, schoolteacher Dave Evanson took his fifth grade class on a field trip to the Devil's Punch Bowl.

[Dave Evanson]

We ended up stopping by.

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[Mike Bauer]

Dave Evanson has Parkinson's disease, which causes him to slur his speech. So his wife dawn is helping him communicate with us at this point. She knows the story pretty well because her husband has told it many times over the years and he insists on telling it to us. Evanson's class was exiting the trail to go eat lunch when they ran into Audrey.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

And he was just starting up the trail.

[Mike Bauer]

Yeah, he just.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

And the kids saw him and started firing questions because they recognized him from Family Night.

[Mike Bauer]

Every year, John Ajay volunteered at Family Night, a community event held at a local elementary school where Dave and Don Evanson both had worked. The roster of entertainers included Ajay and.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Bosco, and Ajay became one of the stars of the show because he would bring Bosco and do demonstrations on what the dog could do.

[Mike Bauer]

The event took place two days before the class went to the punch bowl. So when the students see Ajay in the park, they crowd around him like he's a celebrity or really the owner of a celebrity. Do you remember any of the questions that they asked him? Where's Bosco? Where's Bosco? The kids ask. Audrey says he had to leave the dog at home because he's here to train for an ultramarathon. Ajay took his time with the students and even turned the conversation into a teachable moment, telling them about the importance of wilderness safety. To me, that does not sound like someone who's going out to the woods to take his own life but that's what the Sheriff's department says Ajay did after he finished talking to these fifth graders. Evanson will never be convinced of that.

[Dave Evanson]

He was happy.

[Mike Bauer]

He was full.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Full of life. Happy. Having fun, talking to the kids.

[Mike Bauer]

So where is the Sheriff's department drawing their suicide conclusion from? Is there some other evidence we don't know about? Well, if there is, there's. The LASD sure isn't sharing it with us. They denied our public records request, saying the requested records are part of an ongoing and active criminal investigation and are therefore exempt from disclosure. An ongoing and active criminal investigation. This response does not make a lot of sense to me. Because ajay disappeared about 30 years ago, the state of California issued a death certificate for him all the way back in 2003. Meanwhile, the Department has stuck by its suicide ruling, and they've openly and actively discouraged retired Captain Mike Bauer's investigation. Lucky for us, Bauer hasn't let up. He spent decades looking into the Ajay case. His office is filled with handwritten notes and discs of recorded interviews. And he's collected internal documents from the sheriff's department which he's agreed to share.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

With us, including confidential suicide report I somehow got hold of.

[Mike Bauer]

Bauer hands us a case file that's hundreds of pages long. It includes reports that span years of investigation into Ajay's disappearance. And it tells a story.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

This was assigned to Homicide Bureau Missing persons unit. They were the ones who had to make the decision that this was a suicide.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

The missing persons investigation began with the person who reported John Auge missing. His wife Debbie.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

Then they began to get the feeling, well, this guy's got some sort of relationship problems. Maybe we better look at it.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Debbie tells detectives that she and her husband got into an argument before he took off for the punch bowl and that she can't find his off duty gun.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

They went out to her house and she said, there's an empty holster on the workbench, but the 2 inches missing.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

The department begins to speculate that Ajay may have taken the gun with him into the devil's punch bowl to use it on himself.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

They then get psychological services involved in and find out about the marriage counseling the day before.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

The day before Ajay disappeared, he and Debbie had gone to couples counseling with an LASD psychologist. By the end of the session, the therapist concluded the AUDJs were incompatible and should separate. And the Sheriff's department says that's what pushed Audje over the edge. The final realization that he and Debbie were done.

[Debbie Ajay]

When we ended, she said, if you have decided to go through with the divorce to come back to her, and she would give us ideas on parenting skills for Chloe's sake.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

This is an interview Bauer recorded with Debbie in 2015. He questions her at length about her marriage to John because it's the crux of the department's suicide narrative. In a nutshell, Debbie was a stay at home mom. While John worked a lot, she liked to party. His version of fun was extreme running. She was full figured with a bleach blonde perm. He was all muscle, topped off with a military crew cut. The report says that after 12 years of marriage, the couple drifted apart. They fought a lot. And as their fights intensified, John withdrew.

[Interviewer]

Okay, let me get to some characterizations that they wrote in the report. He was not verbally communicating with you, and he was getting more difficult. Does that make sense?

[Debbie Ajay]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

Was he depressed?

[Debbie Ajay]

Well, he had told the psychologist that he had been unhappy for two years.

[Interviewer]

With the marriage?

[Debbie Ajay]

With the marriage.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Bauer is fact checking the sheriff's report because it attributes a lot of its claims to Debbie's testimony. Supposed characterizations of her husband and their life together.

[Interviewer]

Okay, when you talk to John afterwards, on the drive home, what was the conversation between the two of you about this experience with marriage counseling? What was John's attitude?

[Debbie Ajay]

I sensed he was angry.

[Interviewer]

Do you think he was hopeful that this session was going to help save the marriage?

[Debbie Ajay]

No, no, no.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

And already things aren't adding up. If Ajay had been unhappy with the marriage for two years and thought it was beyond repair, why would he suddenly snap? Well, the report quotes Debbie as saying that Ajay was psychotic.

[Interviewer]

That's kind of describing a person who's mentally ill.

[Debbie Ajay]

I don't know if I said he was psychotic. I do remember saying that his eyes did not look right. I do remember saying that to them.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

In what respect?

[Debbie Ajay]

Just a real strong look in his eyes. Maybe his eyes looked intense.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

There's a world of difference between intense looking eyes and psychosis. But investigators say there were other indications that Ajay was suicidal. He was giving away his prized possessions, including a family heirloom, a gold necklace. And then right before he left for the punch bowl, Ajay told Debbie to have a nice life. To detectives, that was Ajay saying his final goodbyes. In conclusion, the LASD report says the likelihood of suicide is overwhelming and by far surpasses any of the other possibilities. I can see why the department considered the possibility of suicide because it's clear that Ajay was going through a tough time. But to me, it's a big stretch to say the likelihood of suicide is overwhelming, especially as I keep reading the report and find out that Ajay had big plans for his future and that he wanted to spend it with his girlfriend.

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[Mike Bauer]

Ajay had been seeing a 45 year old woman named Vicki DeVita. She was a competitive ultramarathon runner just like him, and she was the one Ajay gave the heirloom necklace to. Their relationship was a bit of an open secret, especially when she showed up at the punch bowl searching for him day after day. We can't ask devita what she thinks happened to Ajay because because she died of cancer in 2010. But her statement to investigators reveals a rosier picture of the deputy. According to DeVita, she and Ajay met at a race in 1995. She was the more experienced runner and helped Ajay train for his ultramarathons. They bonded over their shared passion and slowly they fell in love. But according to DeVita, the relationship wasn't sexual because Ajay wanted to wait until after he and his wife had officially separated. In letters to DeVita, Ajay called her his eternal love and shared poems by Walt Whitman and Emily Dickinson. And recently Ajay had asked her to take an STD test so they could finally consummate their relationship. So Ajay was making moves and DeVita says he was relieved that he and Debbie were splitting up because he was ready to start the next change chapter of his life. Debbie seems to confirm all this, explaining that towards the end of their marriage she and Ajay slept in different rooms and that he'd begun to take photos and art off the walls of his bedroom.

[Interviewer]

He was telling Vicki that he was setting a certain time frame for him to make a decision of what he was going to do. Did you sense a move out was coming?

[Debbie Ajay]

Yes, it appeared that he was going to move out.

[Mike Bauer]

Given this new information, Ajay sounds less like someone saying his final goodbyes and more like someone saying goodbye to a relationship that had already run its course. And it sheds new light on what Ajay may have meant. The morning of June 11, when he told his wife Debbie to have a.

[Interviewer]

Nice life, what was your thought at the time when he said it? Did you think suicide at the time?

[Debbie Ajay]

No, I didn't.

[Interviewer]

It was not a threat of suicide. Had he ever made a threat of suicide in the past? He was going to kill himself because of some problem you two were having? No, no Never expressed it.

[Debbie Ajay]

No.

[Mike Bauer]

Debbie paints a picture of Ajay's final days that looks very different from the Sheriff's department's. In their report, it seems they've cherry picked details to support their suicide thesis and ignore or downplay those that contradict it. So we keep digging through the LESD reports Bower gives us to figure out how the department is connecting its dots. And we find a kind of personality profile they did on Ajay.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

I feel like this has summed up so much of what we've read and heard about him into a punch list. Can I just read the bullet points?

[Mike Bauer]

Yeah.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Okay. Organized, responsible, punctual, regimented, committed, structured.

[Mike Bauer]

There's a definite theme.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Did not believe in divorce or extramarital affairs. Lived by and often said death before dishonor. Occasionally read Bible.

[Mike Bauer]

I like that last line. Sounds like a real, real fun guy. Ajay's code of ethics is a big part of why the Sheriff's department says he couldn't live with himself because he thought divorce and extramarital affairs were dishonorable. The LESD seems to be saying that Ajay's girlfriend wasn't a reason to keep on living. It was the reason he took his life because he was consumed with guilt over his part in ruining his marriage. We try to follow this logic.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

His motto was death before dishonor, which alone is extreme. But it's interesting to me that here he is in this position where he knows he can't stay with his wife, but emotionally he's not ready or willing to accept divorce and then the next day he disappears.

[Mike Bauer]

Yeah, but if he's someone that's sees giving up on a marriage as failure, as dishonorable, then he sure as shit thinks that killing himself and giving up on life is dishonorable. I'm just saying it cuts both ways. Our main takeaway from this personality profile and the rest of the Ajay report is that the suicide theory isn't based on hard facts. It's based on supposed objective accounts of John A behavior just like those rock faces in the devil's punch bowl. It's a matter of interpretation.

[Dave Rathbun]

You'd have to say, how was he going to be dishonored?

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

We check in with Dave Rathbun as Ajay's former partner. He was one of the few people who had insight into his personal life.

[Dave Rathbun]

Divorce, that's Dishonorable.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Even this 80 year old cop thinks that's ridiculously puritanical.

[Dave Rathbun]

I mean, might have been in 1893, but that was 100 years before this. So that's beyond a stretch. It's like science fiction or something.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

I think Rathbun got a divorce, which he says is pretty common for law enforcement officers.

[Dave Rathbun]

My son even makes this joke. He's a lieutenant on the sheriff's department. And he said, yeah, my future ex wife and I are going to go here and do this and do that. I said, oh, for Christmas, crying out loud, don't say that. He said, yeah, the deputies will say that they think it's funny. And I said, I don't know if I think it's funny. Having gone through a divorce, Rathbun doesn't.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Buy the whole death before dishonor explanation. And he feels pretty certain that Ajay would never take his own life on account of his daughter Chloe.

[Dave Rathbun]

If you got on the subject of Chloe, he glowed. Yeah, he glowed and he went soft like wham. That fast. He loved her to death. He would talk about her all the time. Chloe this, Chloe that. He's going to disappear in the mountains and kill himself and leave her alone. Does that fit with death before dishonor? Not very well. It's pretty dishonorable to just abandon your five year old daughter.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Debbie Auge has her own doubts about the suicide theory.

[Debbie Ajay]

It just causes confusion in me, that's all. Because I don't know what to believe.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

There are more than a few details about Ajay's final days that just don't add up for her. Like what he did the morning of his disappearance.

[Interviewer]

You said he went to the gas station.

[Debbie Ajay]

Yes, because when the bill came from the Shell credit card, I had noticed that he had gassed up on June 11 before going to the Punch Bowl.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

My gas tank is always hovering around empty. So the fact that Ajay took the time to stop at a gas station on his way to the Punch bowl strongly implies he hadn't planned on this being his last drive. And according to the missing persons report, Ajay put a sunshield on his dashboard to prevent his truck from overheating. It's another indication that Ajay was planning to return from his run and drive away from the Punch Bowl.

[Debbie Ajay]

I would. I would hope the sheriff's department would investigate this. I just still want John John to be found or his. His remains.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

There's another detail that throws a big wrench in the suicide theory. Remember that missing gun?

[Debbie Ajay]

His holster was left on the workbench in the garage. And I've never found that small Smith and Wesson. They told me when he. He was missing, they didn't find any gun. They told me there was no gun in the truck. Then I started hearing some rumors that there was a gun in the truck.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

This missing gun is one of the linchpins of the LASD's narrative. They say Ajay didn't usually take a gun with him while jogging, therefore he must have brought the firearm into the punch bowl with suicidal intent. But it turns out the gun was not missing. Not at first, anyway.

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[Interviewer]

Okay, so you were at Punchbowl. Tell me what you did when you got there and what you saw and any other details that you think are important.

[Mike Bauer]

Bauer has been running down leads in the Ajay case for years. There are a lot of unanswered questions, but at the top of the list is the one about Ajay's phantom gun.

[Dave Evanson]

I see the truck, I run the plate. It is his truck.

[Mike Bauer]

Bauer is interviewing Randy Heberle. Heberle was an LASD deputy who worked patrol in the Antelope Valley, and he was one of the first officers to show up at the Punch bowl after Ajay was reported missing.

[Dave Evanson]

Look in the truck real quick with my flashlight. I checked the door. It was locked. I then looked closely in the truck. There's a little compartment and I see the snub nose, stainless steel five shot revolver. That gun was in the truck.

[Mike Bauer]

Deputy Heberly calls his sergeant and tells him he's located Ajay's vehicle.

[Interviewer]

Do you remember telling the station in that cell phone call that you saw a gun in the truck?

[Dave Evanson]

Yes, I told them his gun is in the tr.

[Mike Bauer]

According to Heberly, Ajay left his gun in the vehicle, which means it could not have been used by him to end his life. We ask around and find out. Deputy Heberly isn't the only one who remembers the gun. Sergeant Vince Burton confirms Heberly's account. He was one of the sergeants overseeing the Auge search.

[Dave Evanson]

The deputy specifically said that his off duty gun was in the car.

[Mike Bauer]

And it wasn't just one deputy.

[Dave Evanson]

There's a couple deputies that swear there was a gun there. And yet my lieutenant and I at a later time looked at all the records and everything. There's no indication that that gun was ever booked into evidence. It's not shown.

[Mike Bauer]

This seems like a major oversight in the investigation. And even more troubling, Burton says investigators didn't process the truck for any evidence.

[Dave Evanson]

Since it's not a murder, they're not going to process it. They're not going to impound it. If missing person says we'd like the car held because we think there's something suspicious, that's up to the detectives to make that call.

[Mike Bauer]

The missing person's detectives don't flag the truck for inspection. And so Ajay's gun disappears along with who knows what else. Do you think that the gun may have gone missing between when those first officers arrived and before homicide got there?

[Dave Evanson]

That's very possible. Homicide interviewed me later, but we never talked about the gun and the gun never came up.

[Mike Bauer]

That's weird, right? Homicide detectives make the case for suicide based in part on a missing gun, and yet they don't seem to be that interested in finding the gun. We haven't found anyone. Records that show detectives even asked responding officers about it. There appears to be a lot of missteps in this investigation. Starting from the beginning when Ajay's truck wasn't combed for evidence. Then there's the department's decision to call off the search after less than a week. And the detectives single minded focus on the suicide theory. Not to mention the way they punched up key witness statements from people like Debbie Ajay. After six months of reporting this story, we're feeling the weight and confusion of the case. We know there's one guy who gets it. We hope Mike Bauer can give us some perspective.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Bauer lives on a remote ranch in Idaho.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

I've got to get my egg packed.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

His lakeside property includes a home office which he uses as a base camp for his work on the Audrey case. And wide open land for his dogs, horses and ducks. Oh, the ducks.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

Come on girls, let's go.

[Mike Bauer]

Okay.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

They have heated coops and kiddie pools splashing. And the duck's food is handmade by Bauer. Every day he combines carrots, apples, corn.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

Grapes, a bunch of stuff and sourdough bread. And the staler the better because I put it through the blender and chop it up. I don't feed these animals anything I wouldn't eat.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

The ducks seem to be the darlings of Bowers farm. But all sorts of animals flock to him. Deer, lingerie in the clearings. Bower can tell him apart by their facial features. Wild turkeys congregate outside Bauer's home at the same time each morning waiting for their breakfast. And his stable of horses includes a one eyed fella named Quincy.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

Come on girls, come on.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Watching Bauer interact with these animals, it's enlightening. It helps me understand why he reacted so strongly to Bosco's death. And why he's so invested in the Ajay case because the things he cares about, he cares about deeply. About 10 years ago, Bower had scheduled a meeting with Larry Lincoln, captain of the Homicide Bureau. At the time of Ajay's disappearance, Bower wanted to go over the problems with the missing persons investigation, how the detectives said there were no signs of foul play but didn't seem to look very hard to find them.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

Every supervisor dreads coming into work and finding a horrible situation thrown on their in their lap. And they have to decide, am I going to cover it up or am I going to face it head on and then stop it.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

About a week before the two were scheduled to meet, Lincoln Said sent Bauer a text saying he had to cancel. Bauer recorded a voice memo of the message right after he got it to add to his Ajay archive.

[Interviewer]

I'm gonna tape Larry Lincoln's text this morning at just before 6am I worked with John, was involved in the search for him and was in charge of the investigation into his disappearance. With all that, I can say with certainty that John, and only John, was responsible for his death. After eight years at Homicide, suicides caused me more grief than any murder. The bottom line, one cannot find reason in an unreasonable act. End of text.

[Mike Bauer]

Bower doesn't just think the suicide narrative is false, he thinks it's reckless. It promotes bad police work, it tarnishes Ajay's reputation and causes immense pain to his loved ones. Processing his disappearance is one thing, but thinking Ajay killed himself and did it in a way that they'd never know how or why, that's a whole new level of anguish. And no one felt that more than his daughter Chloe.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

I said I'm telling you, Chloe, don't believe it. Do not believe it. Your father did not abandon you. He was taken from you.

[Mike Bauer]

Over the years, Bauer developed a friendship with Chloe and Debbie, whose lives completely unraveled. After Ajay's disappearance, Debbie struggled financially, toggling between part time jobs and collecting unemployment. She sold her house and moved in with her parents. She eventually ended up living in a car in a parking lot not far from the house she once shared with John. And that's why Bauer now has so many of Ajay's things, because Debbie just didn't have a place to store them. And then there's Chloe. She was just five when she lost her dad. Then she lost her dog and then her mom. As Debbie drifted into homelessness, Chloe was shuffled around among relatives, but never found a stable home base. She dropped out of high school and cycled through a series of low wage jobs while living with boyfriends or friends. Then In August of 2020, Bauer got a call from Debbie.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

And she said, mike, we've lost our girl. That's all she said, we've lost our girl.

[Mike Bauer]

At the age of 26, Chloe Auge took her own life. Some might call that an unreasonable act, but I feel for her. Tragedy upended her childhood. She lost her sense of belonging and security after her dad disappeared and the shadow of his alleged suicide followed her from place to place.

[Mike Bauer (voice quotes)]

I told her that her father didn't abandon her. She wanted to believe that.

[Mike Bauer]

And this is why the Ajay case has become all consuming for Bauer. Because the LA County Sheriff's Department, the institution he swore allegiance to for 33 years, has told a lie so big and so many times that the story has become its own type of bullet. It's wormed its way through time, destroying lives and racking up a number of casualties. And Bower's been forced to simply watch the tragedy unfold. Foreign.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

If John Ajay didn't die by suicide, what happened to him? Throughout Bauer's investigation, he's heard a lot of stories about Ajay. But there's one that just keeps coming up from multiple witnesses that John Ajay didn't take his own life. Someone else did.

[Dave Rathbun]

Early on, I let the suicide theory sit at 50, 50, as I've learned more and more, I'm at about 90, 95, murder 5 to 10% suicide. He said, hey, Larry, I'm hearing shit on the street, man, that Ajay didn't commit suicide, he was murdered. He goes, I'm hearing from more than one person, well, shouldn't you maybe looked into that? A little war. They told our search teams on day one, John may have stumbled into a meth lab by accident. What happened to that idea?

[Debbie Ajay]

This whole meth lab, it's just been a rumor I've heard for years. And I do wonder what's behind that.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

We wonder what's behind that too. And why the Sheriff's department didn't do more to investigate these tips. But it turns out there was a homicide detective who took it upon himself to find out what really happened all the time.

[Dave Rathbun]

I've been an investigator and I tell people this. Even younger guys, this cop stuff is not like tv. You go with what makes common sense. Everything looks like this. Well, you usually. If it looks like that, that's what it is.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

That's next time on Valley of Shadows.

[Mike Bauer]

If you have any information or tickets tips related to the disappearance of John ajay, please call 213-262-9889 or email shadowsushkin FM Valley of Shadows is reported, written and produced by us, Betsy shepherd and Haley Fox. Our editor is Diane Hodson. Our executive producers are Jacob Smith and Alexandra Garrett. Original music by Jake Gorski, Ray Lynch, Mike Jersich and Hayden Gardner Sound design by Jake Gorski Fact checking by Annika Robbins Additional production support by Sonja Gerwitt and our show art was designed by Sean Carney and Betsy Shepard. Special thanks to Nick White for the show art photo Additional thanks to Stringer Bell. Valley of Shadows is a production of Pushkin Industries. To find more Pushkin podcasts, listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts from. Type 2 fun. We're Betsy and Haley. See you next week.

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[Dave Evanson]

Several homes in the suburb of Northwood had the most beautiful landscaping.

[Narrator / Haley Fox]

Such perfection.

[Dave Evanson]

The neighbor? Responsible retiree Arvin Shreve.

[Mike Bauer]

You reminded me of Mr. Rogers.

[Dave Evanson]

But Arvin hid a dark secret.

[Debbie Ajay]

Arvin's message was I have a key to get you into heaven. My mom took me to this house and then I never lived with her again.

[Dave Evanson]

Gardens of Evil Inside the Zion Society Cult is the new season of the award winning podcast American Nightmares. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.