Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me! – “HTDE: One-Liners and Free Throws”

Date: December 10, 2025
Host: Peter Sagal
Guests/Comedians: Mike Danforth, Ian Shellock (How To Do Everything), Kelly (listener), Jeff Hiller, Patton Oswalt, Tom Papa, Tig Notaro, Rachel Koster, Mohanad Elsheikhi, Dr. David Hu
Theme: Bringing humor and science to everyday predicaments—from how to make baldness less awkward, to whether you can blow a basketball off-course, and how to sleep on planes like a pro.

Episode Overview

This special crossover episode features the hosts of “How To Do Everything,” with Peter Sagal leading a quirky exploration into creative problem-solving. The team tackles two listener questions—one from Kelly, a real estate agent looking for lighthearted ways to address her baldness during cancer treatment, and another from Jeff, who wonders if you can actually affect a basketball free throw with synchronized crowd blowing. Along the way, comedians contribute sharp one-liners, scientists provide answers, and the group exchanges classic banter about travel hacks, identity, embarrassment, and resilience.

Key Segments & Insights

1. The “Pool Noodle Sleep Hack” (00:59–04:13)

Discussion:

• Peter Sagal shares a “life-changing” trick for sleeping on planes: use a two-foot pool noodle as a chin support.
• Inspired by a practical snowbird’s driver named Annie, who demonstrated poking the noodle up from her vest to serve as a makeshift pedestal.
• Peter tries it himself on a flight, sleeps well, and acknowledges the public embarrassment factor.

Notable Quotes:

• “She takes out the pool noodle and she sticks it in her vest so that it’s pointing up right under her chin.” – Peter Sagal (01:52)
• “Completely ignoring what other people might be thinking loudly as they looked at me and had a lovely hour nap.” – Peter Sagal (02:55)
• “I have no doubt that I look like a complete fool. But what’s interesting about this is people do not look good with those airline pillows.” – Peter Sagal (03:28)

Memorable Moment:

• The group jokes about creating an “emotional support pole” vest to fend off confused stares (04:01).

2. Humor for Hair Loss: Kelly’s Story (04:23–15:26)

Discussion:

• Listener Kelly, a realtor undergoing chemo, seeks a gentle, funny “one-liner” to explain her sudden baldness.
• She shares her perspective on coping, embracing change, and “owning” her look, but wants to avoid awkwardness with new clients.

Notable Quotes:

• “I just like to make things fun and funny and comfortable for people... and would like a humorous or lighthearted way to address the elephant in the room.” – Kelly (04:26)
• “I was a tiny bit looking forward to being who I really am—which is a person going through cancer and chemo.” – Kelly (09:05)

Memorable Moment:

• Mike Danforth admits he enjoyed his own shaved head during cancer: “If only I could just shave my head. But my kids don’t want me to…” (08:10)

3. The Comedians' (One-)Liner Clinic (09:43–13:01)

Discussion:

• The "How To Do Everything" team consults comedians for witty, empathetic icebreakers Kelly can use.

Best One-Liners & Quotes:

• Jeff Hiller:
  • “I like my hair, but I thought it was distracting from my bold lip color.” – (09:52)
  • “Cancer is bad, but looking like Cynthia Erivo is good.”
  • “I always thought I could pull it off because of my long neck; now I know I can.”
• Patton Oswalt:
  • “Hi, I’m Kelly, I’m your realtor. And if it helps, you can pretend Professor X is selling you a house.” – (10:36)
• Tom Papa:
  • “Sorry about this. I blame the vaccine.” (For certain clients, wink-wink.) – (11:38)
  • “Sorry if I look a little different. I started trimming my eyebrows and I couldn’t stop.” – (12:08)
  • “I know what you’re thinking: Do the curtains match the drapes? … I’ll tell you after we get through escrow.” – (12:18)
• Tig Notaro:
  • “I just got back from the hairstylist. I feel like maybe they went a little too short. What do you think? Maybe I should have brought a picture.” – (12:28-12:50)

Memorable Moment:

• Tig Notaro recounts difficult conversations about her breast cancer with her stepfather, highlighting the awkwardness of true vulnerability (14:16–15:25).

4. More Joke Suggestions & Kelly’s Feedback (15:31–18:58)

Added Ideas:

• Rachel Koster suggests: “Let people know that you’re in your Elmer Fudd era and that it’s wabbit season.” (15:36)
• Mohanad Elsheikhi: "I swear the house looks just like the picture, even though the picture you saw of me looked nothing like what's standing in front of you." (16:14)
  • Also riffs on ‘reverse hair transplant’ and “sometimes I just look too beautiful with hair; this is for you as a service.”

Kelly’s Response (17:27–18:58):

• Grateful for the comic material and excited to use the lines with clients.
• Shares joy at finishing breast cancer treatment and new confidence in light-hearted conversation starters.

5. Science of Distraction: Can You Blow a Basketball Off Course? (22:42–28:37)

Discussion:

• Listener Jeff wonders if enough synchronized blowing in a stadium could affect a free throw.
• Mike and Ian consult Dr. David Hu, PhD in fluid mechanics at Georgia Tech.

Key Science Insights:

• A person’s lung capacity (about 3 liters) is insufficient; air jets disperse quickly in large spaces.
• Unless all 50,000 fans concentrated their blowing at close range (which is impossible), it would not affect the ball.
• “If you could concentrate all these 50,000 people into, like... one giant person… it’d be like a leaf blower.” – Dr. Hu (25:35)
• Only defenders standing “a couple inches away” with big sneezes/coughs could conceivably alter a shot, but not reliably—and possibly at the cost of sportsmanship (26:47–28:02).

6. Closing Banter & Episode Wrap (28:41–30:27)

Travel Hack Returns:

• Recap of pool noodle method; Mike proposes sneaking a baguette or sandwich instead:
  • “You just fell asleep while eating a baguette.” – (29:25)
  • “It is incredible and I think very telling about the pool noodle method that it is less embarrassing to tell everybody around you you fell asleep while eating a baguette.” – Ian Shellock (29:37)

Sign-off:

• Show credits and encouragement for listeners to send more quirky “how to” questions for next season.

Notable Quotes – At a Glance

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:52 | Peter Sagal| “She takes out the pool noodle and she sticks it in her vest so that it’s pointing up right under her chin.” | | 09:05 | Kelly | “I was a tiny bit looking forward to being who I really am, which is a person going through cancer and chemo.”| | 10:36 | Patton Oswalt | “Hi, I’m Kelly, I’m your realtor. And if it helps, you can pretend Professor X is selling you a house.”| | 12:28 | Tig Notaro | “I just got back from the hairstylist. I feel like maybe they went a little too short. What do you think?”| | 25:35 | Dr. Hu | “If you could concentrate all these 50,000 people into, like... one giant person… it’d be like a leaf blower.”| | 29:25 | Mike Danforth | “You just fell asleep while eating a baguette.” |

Useful Timestamps

• 00:59 – Peter’s plane sleep hack (the pool noodle story)
• 04:23 – Kelly introduces her question about baldness and humor
• 09:43 – Comedians offer suggested one-liners for Kelly
• 12:28 – Tig Notaro’s advice and story
• 15:31 – Additional one-liners from comedians
• 17:27 – Kelly’s health update and reactions
• 22:42 – Jeff’s basketball/free throw science question
• 24:41 – Dr. David Hu debunks the crowd-blowing theory
• 28:41 – Closing banter on pool noodles, baguettes, and travel hacks
• 29:53 – Credits and sign-off

Tone & Style

Light, irreverent, and supportive—mixing heartfelt personal anecdotes, sharp stand-up wit, and nerdy scientific detours. The episode underscores humor as a tool for resilience, connection, and curiosity.

Summary Takeaways

• Embarrassment is fleeting; practicality and rest (even with a pool noodle) prevail.
• Laughter helps deflect awkwardness—especially around visible changes like hair loss, and the right joke can bridge the discomfort.
• Science says: Even 50,000 basketball fans can’t huff, puff, and blow the free throw down—a problem only “three sneezing Shaqs” could almost solve.
• Food as sleep support? Try (discreetly) falling asleep on a baguette and let the embarrassment take care of itself.

For more oddball solutions and comedic camaraderie, catch up on “How To Do Everything” and stay tuned for future Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! crossovers.