Transcript

Peter Sagal (0:00)

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Bill Curtis (0:22)

From NPR n WBEC Chicago, this is. Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News quiz. I'm the voice so intoxicating you need to stop operating heavy machinery. Bill Curtis. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Peter Sagal (0:49)

Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. We've got a great show for you today. But first, Thanksgiving is coming up on Thursday, and we want to take this opportunity to remind you you have just a few days left to come up with a single thing to be thankful for this year. How about K Pop Demon Hunters? That was pretty good, right? You'll think of something. One thing you could be thankful for every year is bagels and lox, which is why we'll be talking to the owners of Russ and Daughters, a legendary Jewish food shop in New York's Lower east side. But first, we want to serve you up some tidbits from the news. Give us a call at 1-888-wait-wait. That's 1-88- let's welcome our first listener contestant. How you run. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

Listener/Contestant (various callers) (1:35)

Hi, this is Tracy Kinchelo from Louisville, Kentucky.

Peter Sagal (1:38)

Oh, I love Louisville. What do you do there?

Listener/Contestant (various callers) (1:40)

I'm a middle school teacher.

Peter Sagal (1:41)

Oh, my God. You are the bravest of the brave to voluntarily enter a middle school.

Listener/Contestant (various callers) (1:52)

What grade do you teach, Tracy? Six, seven.

Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman) (1:55)

Which one?

Listener/Contestant (various callers) (1:56)

Oh, my gosh. Today was the 67th day of school.

Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson) (2:00)

Oh, no.

Peter Sagal (2:01)

So sor. Don't worry.

Listener/Contestant (various callers) (2:03)

Summary

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! — Episode Summary

Episode Title: WWDTM: Niki Russ Federman and Josh Russ Tupper
Date: November 22, 2025
Host: Peter Sagal | Announcer: Bill Curtis
Panelists: Joyelle Nicole Johnson, Faith Saley, Zach Zimmerman
Special Guests: Niki Russ Federman and Josh Russ Tupper (Owners, Russ & Daughters)

Overview

This week’s episode of Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me! is as sharp and flavorful as a proper schmaltz herring. NPR’s irreverent news quiz covers the week's oddest headlines and crescendos with special guests Niki Russ Federman and Josh Russ Tupper, fourth-generation owners of the iconic Russ & Daughters appetizing store in New York—a deep dive into bagel culture, Jewish delicacies, and the art of surviving customer feedback. Plus, the usual news games, quirky science, and comedians riffing on everything from NBA stars to Tariffs on Fusilli and the latest in domesticated raccoons.

Key Segments and Highlights

Panel Introductions & Opening Banter

00:22–04:22

Peter kicks off the show with Thanksgiving vibes and a joke about finding gratitude:

"You have just a few days left to come up with a single thing to be thankful for this year. How about K Pop Demon Hunters?" (00:49, Peter Sagal)
Listener Tracy from Louisville, KY, a middle school teacher, joins for the quiz. Panelists heap praise on her:

"You are the bravest of the brave to voluntarily enter a middle school." (01:41, Peter Sagal)

Who’s Bill This Time? (Listener Quiz—News Review)

04:22–09:08

1. LeBron James Breaks NBA Seasons Record

Tracy identifies LeBron as the new record holder.
Jokes about LeBron’s longevity and custom handshakes:

"When LeBron was a rookie, many of his current opponents were not yet born." (03:33, Peter Sagal)
"He should probably quit soon. Cause he is about to go through perimenopause." (04:22, Joyelle Nicole Johnson)
"He has a handshake for every person he has ever met." (04:47, Joyelle Nicole Johnson)

2. The Great Pasta Tariff

US tariffs may cause Italian pasta shortages, or as Peter jokes, "That's traditionally the Mafia's job."

"What’s the Olive Garden going to do? Will the never ending pasta bowl end well?" (06:01, Panelist)

3. Raccoons Are (Almost) Man’s Next Pet

New research: raccoons are evolving to be cuter and more domesticated—floppy ears, shorter snouts.

"Looking forward to watching my grandchildren argue about dogs versus cats versus raccoons someday." (06:51, Bill Curtis)
"In New York City ... they are just brazen. They're no longer nocturnal. If I'm running around Central Park in the morning, they're up. They're just looking at me from a trash can." (07:47, Listener)
Fun Fact: Calvin Coolidge was gifted a raccoon for Thanksgiving, kept it as a pet named Rebecca instead (08:38–08:58).

Panelist Question: The Origins of Kissing

09:21–12:04

Scientists discovered kissing likely dates back 17–21 million years in our primate ancestors.

"According to a pair of suspiciously rumpled scientists … the first kiss happened somewhere between 17 and 21 million years ago." (10:18, Peter Sagal)
Silliness about scientific priorities:

"Those scientists know we need to cure cancer, right?" (11:27, Joyelle Nicole Johnson)
"What if the cure’s a kiss?" (11:33/11:38/11:39, Zach Zimmerman & Sagal riff)

Bluff the Listener: Who Got a Hollywood Agent?

15:07–21:07

Three wild tales. The real story:
- Parmigiano Reggiano cheese has signed with UTA for TV and movie product placement.
"Parmigiano Reggiano, the delicious cheese, has signed with UTA." (18:21, Peter Sagal)
Other options: a Scottish kitchen tool (“the Spurtle”) and a New Jersey high school, both hilariously fake.
Memorable line:

"In Hollywood, to be an overnight success, it takes 1000 years." (18:21, Zach Zimmerman)

Not My Job: Niki Russ Federman and Josh Russ Tupper (Russ & Daughters)

21:15–31:51

The Difference Between a Deli and an Appetizing Store

Russ & Daughters isn’t a deli—it’s an appetizing store! Lox and bagels, not pastrami and corned beef.

"We work with very sharp knives … but we're an appetizing store, and appetizing is the sister food tradition to delicatessen." (22:06, Niki Russ Fetterman)
Why “appetizing”?

"Appetizing is a classic New York invention … comes from the Yiddish word forspice, which means appetizers." (22:53, Nikki Russ Fetterman)

Family Legacy — Schmaltz Herring & Legendary Customers

Their ancestor sold schmaltz herring from a pushcart.
Anthony Bourdain’s favorite: "the schmaltz herring … it's so primal, it connects you to your ancestors." (24:14, Niki Russ Fetterman)
Old-school customers are, by admission, “the most difficult customers in the world.”

"Have a lot to say about how we're doing things; we have created the most difficult customers in the world." (25:05, Josh Russ Tupper)

How to Order Properly

Know what you want! Don’t ask for samples of every salmon.

"Know what you want ahead of time ... but the true professional is the 85-year-old ... can I get a taste of a bagel? And then they walk out." (26:00–26:40, Nikki & Josh)

On “Bagel Holes”

Why no bagel holes like donut holes?

"Innovation comes to us and daughters once every 100 years." (27:25, Nikki Russ Fetterman)

Not My Job Mini-Quiz: The Great Houdini

Escape feats discussed: Houdini escapes the belly of a whale in Boston, almost dies in a barrel of beer, and wins a lawsuit by opening an unlocked safe in a courtroom.
Key quote:

"He said, ta da. And he opened it up, won the case." (31:05, Peter Sagal)

Odd Science, Animal Strength, and Weird News

34:19–39:36

Chihuahuas: At the “North American Weight Pull Association Championships,” tiny dogs pull 50 times their weight.

"All dogs want to work, right?... it's so cool to see Chihuahuas doing it, because usually they're the sort of thing that is fed to the dogs in the Iditarod." (35:39, Peter Sagal)
Louvre Stunt: Pranksters hang their own portrait next to the Mona Lisa.

"Staff knew that something had to be wrong when they noticed people leaving the Mona Lisa room not looking disappointed." (36:25, Peter Sagal)
Gay Sheep Knitwear: A new Grindr collaboration uses wool only from gay rams.

"They call them confirmed baa-chelors." (38:12, Peter Sagal) "This feels targeted." (37:40, Joyelle Nicole Johnson)

Listener Limerick Challenge

39:28–43:42

Largest spider web: Scientists find a web in a European cave with tens of thousands of spiders.
Lion Café: Café in China lets you cuddle with lion cubs during dinner.

"You get a four course meal complete with drink pairings. The bad news, you are the fourth course." (41:41, Peter Sagal)
Tracking Monarch Butterflies: Micro-tagging allows real time tracking via app.

Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank – Fast-Paced News Quiz

44:32–50:00

Includes news items: Trump, Gaza, Cher’s SNL return, a Frenchman accidentally driving to Croatia, and a talking teddy bear that (alarmingly) teaches kids how to find knives.
Best moment:

"You can hide knives in the river after you've done what must be done." (47:57, Peter Sagal)

Predictions: The Next Family Pet

51:10–51:45

Joyelle: Marjorie Taylor Greene seeking a forever home.
Zach: Female mayfly as the best pet for short attention spans.
Faith: Rats in NYC will be rebranded as capybaras.

Noteworthy Quotes

On Old Bagel Store Customers:

"We have created the most difficult customers in the world." (25:05, Josh Russ Tupper)
On Appetizing vs. Deli:

"If you're thinking of corned beef and pastrami, that's delicatessen. If you're thinking of bagels and lox, that's appetizing." (22:09, Niki Russ Fetterman)
On Raccoons as Pets:

"They don't hiss. They don't even care. I'm just saying. Are you sure they're raccoons? And not very large rats wearing a mask." (08:00, Peter Sagal)
On Handshakes and LeBron:

"They have a compilation of this on the Internet ... So I think he's staving off dementia with these handshakes." (05:00, Joyelle Nicole Johnson)

Memorable Moments

Nikki & Josh teaching a bagel class, confronted with someone inventing the “bagel hole.”
The Houdini belly-of-the-whale escape story.
Zach Zimmerman takes good-natured ribbing about “gay sheep” fashion.

Timestamps for Key Segments

Panel intros & opener: 00:22–04:22
Who's Bill This Time (news quiz): 03:04–09:15
Panel Q – history of kissing: 09:21–12:04
Bluff the Listener (cheese signs with UTA): 15:07–21:07
Not My Job (Russ & Daughters interview): 21:15–31:51
Chihuahuas, Louvre, gay sheep knits: 34:19–39:36
Listener Limerick Challenge: 39:28–43:42
Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank: 44:32–50:00
Pet predictions: 51:10–51:45

Tone & Style

Trademark blend of wry NPR humor, New York Jewish banter, and snappy panelist repartee.
Joyelle Nicole Johnson’s candid comedic takes keep everyone laughing.
Peter Sagal’s sharp, quick delivery carries the episode from segment to segment.

Closing

A perfectly balanced episode: clever panelists, a glimpse into NYC food history, and a parade of genuinely weird headlines. If you’ve ever wondered whether there’s a right way to order your lox, or if raccoons are evolution’s next darlings, this is the holiday episode for you.

For fans: If you missed the live show, this summary will fill you in on the best jokes, wildest trivia, and the storied flavor behind a century-old appetizing institution.