WWDTM: Niki Russ Federman and Josh Russ Tupper

Summary

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! — Episode Summary

Episode Title: WWDTM: Niki Russ Federman and Josh Russ Tupper
Date: November 22, 2025
Host: Peter Sagal | Announcer: Bill Curtis
Panelists: Joyelle Nicole Johnson, Faith Saley, Zach Zimmerman
Special Guests: Niki Russ Federman and Josh Russ Tupper (Owners, Russ & Daughters)

---

Overview

This week’s episode of Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me! is as sharp and flavorful as a proper schmaltz herring. NPR’s irreverent news quiz covers the week's oddest headlines and crescendos with special guests Niki Russ Federman and Josh Russ Tupper, fourth-generation owners of the iconic Russ & Daughters appetizing store in New York—a deep dive into bagel culture, Jewish delicacies, and the art of surviving customer feedback. Plus, the usual news games, quirky science, and comedians riffing on everything from NBA stars to Tariffs on Fusilli and the latest in domesticated raccoons.

---

Key Segments and Highlights

---

Panel Introductions & Opening Banter

00:22–04:22

• Peter kicks off the show with Thanksgiving vibes and a joke about finding gratitude:

  "You have just a few days left to come up with a single thing to be thankful for this year. How about K Pop Demon Hunters?" (00:49, Peter Sagal)

• Listener Tracy from Louisville, KY, a middle school teacher, joins for the quiz. Panelists heap praise on her:

  "You are the bravest of the brave to voluntarily enter a middle school." (01:41, Peter Sagal)

---

Who’s Bill This Time? (Listener Quiz—News Review)

04:22–09:08

1. LeBron James Breaks NBA Seasons Record

• Tracy identifies LeBron as the new record holder.
• Jokes about LeBron’s longevity and custom handshakes:

  "When LeBron was a rookie, many of his current opponents were not yet born." (03:33, Peter Sagal)
  "He should probably quit soon. Cause he is about to go through perimenopause." (04:22, Joyelle Nicole Johnson)
  "He has a handshake for every person he has ever met." (04:47, Joyelle Nicole Johnson)

2. The Great Pasta Tariff

• US tariffs may cause Italian pasta shortages, or as Peter jokes, "That's traditionally the Mafia's job."

  "What’s the Olive Garden going to do? Will the never ending pasta bowl end well?" (06:01, Panelist)

3. Raccoons Are (Almost) Man’s Next Pet

• New research: raccoons are evolving to be cuter and more domesticated—floppy ears, shorter snouts.

  "Looking forward to watching my grandchildren argue about dogs versus cats versus raccoons someday." (06:51, Bill Curtis)
  "In New York City ... they are just brazen. They're no longer nocturnal. If I'm running around Central Park in the morning, they're up. They're just looking at me from a trash can." (07:47, Listener)
  Fun Fact: Calvin Coolidge was gifted a raccoon for Thanksgiving, kept it as a pet named Rebecca instead (08:38–08:58).

---

Panelist Question: The Origins of Kissing

09:21–12:04

• Scientists discovered kissing likely dates back 17–21 million years in our primate ancestors.

  "According to a pair of suspiciously rumpled scientists … the first kiss happened somewhere between 17 and 21 million years ago." (10:18, Peter Sagal)

• Silliness about scientific priorities:

  "Those scientists know we need to cure cancer, right?" (11:27, Joyelle Nicole Johnson)
  "What if the cure’s a kiss?" (11:33/11:38/11:39, Zach Zimmerman & Sagal riff)

---

Bluff the Listener: Who Got a Hollywood Agent?

15:07–21:07

• Three wild tales. The real story:
  • Parmigiano Reggiano cheese has signed with UTA for TV and movie product placement.

  "Parmigiano Reggiano, the delicious cheese, has signed with UTA." (18:21, Peter Sagal)

• Other options: a Scottish kitchen tool (“the Spurtle”) and a New Jersey high school, both hilariously fake.
• Memorable line:

  "In Hollywood, to be an overnight success, it takes 1000 years." (18:21, Zach Zimmerman)

---

Not My Job: Niki Russ Federman and Josh Russ Tupper (Russ & Daughters)

21:15–31:51

The Difference Between a Deli and an Appetizing Store

• Russ & Daughters isn’t a deli—it’s an appetizing store! Lox and bagels, not pastrami and corned beef.

  "We work with very sharp knives … but we're an appetizing store, and appetizing is the sister food tradition to delicatessen." (22:06, Niki Russ Fetterman)

• Why “appetizing”?

  "Appetizing is a classic New York invention … comes from the Yiddish word forspice, which means appetizers." (22:53, Nikki Russ Fetterman)

Family Legacy — Schmaltz Herring & Legendary Customers

• Their ancestor sold schmaltz herring from a pushcart.
• Anthony Bourdain’s favorite: "the schmaltz herring … it's so primal, it connects you to your ancestors." (24:14, Niki Russ Fetterman)
• Old-school customers are, by admission, “the most difficult customers in the world.”

  "Have a lot to say about how we're doing things; we have created the most difficult customers in the world." (25:05, Josh Russ Tupper)

How to Order Properly

• Know what you want! Don’t ask for samples of every salmon.

  "Know what you want ahead of time ... but the true professional is the 85-year-old ... can I get a taste of a bagel? And then they walk out." (26:00–26:40, Nikki & Josh)

On “Bagel Holes”

• Why no bagel holes like donut holes?

  "Innovation comes to us and daughters once every 100 years." (27:25, Nikki Russ Fetterman)

Not My Job Mini-Quiz: The Great Houdini

• Escape feats discussed: Houdini escapes the belly of a whale in Boston, almost dies in a barrel of beer, and wins a lawsuit by opening an unlocked safe in a courtroom.
• Key quote:

  "He said, ta da. And he opened it up, won the case." (31:05, Peter Sagal)

---

Odd Science, Animal Strength, and Weird News

34:19–39:36

• Chihuahuas: At the “North American Weight Pull Association Championships,” tiny dogs pull 50 times their weight.

  "All dogs want to work, right?... it's so cool to see Chihuahuas doing it, because usually they're the sort of thing that is fed to the dogs in the Iditarod." (35:39, Peter Sagal)

• Louvre Stunt: Pranksters hang their own portrait next to the Mona Lisa.

  "Staff knew that something had to be wrong when they noticed people leaving the Mona Lisa room not looking disappointed." (36:25, Peter Sagal)

• Gay Sheep Knitwear: A new Grindr collaboration uses wool only from gay rams.

  "They call them confirmed baa-chelors." (38:12, Peter Sagal) "This feels targeted." (37:40, Joyelle Nicole Johnson)

---

Listener Limerick Challenge

39:28–43:42

• Largest spider web: Scientists find a web in a European cave with tens of thousands of spiders.
• Lion Café: Café in China lets you cuddle with lion cubs during dinner.

  "You get a four course meal complete with drink pairings. The bad news, you are the fourth course." (41:41, Peter Sagal)

• Tracking Monarch Butterflies: Micro-tagging allows real time tracking via app.

---

Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank – Fast-Paced News Quiz

44:32–50:00

• Includes news items: Trump, Gaza, Cher’s SNL return, a Frenchman accidentally driving to Croatia, and a talking teddy bear that (alarmingly) teaches kids how to find knives.
• Best moment:

  "You can hide knives in the river after you've done what must be done." (47:57, Peter Sagal)

---

Predictions: The Next Family Pet

51:10–51:45

• Joyelle: Marjorie Taylor Greene seeking a forever home.
• Zach: Female mayfly as the best pet for short attention spans.
• Faith: Rats in NYC will be rebranded as capybaras.

---

Noteworthy Quotes

• On Old Bagel Store Customers:

  "We have created the most difficult customers in the world." (25:05, Josh Russ Tupper)

• On Appetizing vs. Deli:

  "If you're thinking of corned beef and pastrami, that's delicatessen. If you're thinking of bagels and lox, that's appetizing." (22:09, Niki Russ Fetterman)

• On Raccoons as Pets:

  "They don't hiss. They don't even care. I'm just saying. Are you sure they're raccoons? And not very large rats wearing a mask." (08:00, Peter Sagal)

• On Handshakes and LeBron:

  "They have a compilation of this on the Internet ... So I think he's staving off dementia with these handshakes." (05:00, Joyelle Nicole Johnson)

---

Memorable Moments

• Nikki & Josh teaching a bagel class, confronted with someone inventing the “bagel hole.”
• The Houdini belly-of-the-whale escape story.
• Zach Zimmerman takes good-natured ribbing about “gay sheep” fashion.

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Panel intros & opener: 00:22–04:22
• Who's Bill This Time (news quiz): 03:04–09:15
• Panel Q – history of kissing: 09:21–12:04
• Bluff the Listener (cheese signs with UTA): 15:07–21:07
• Not My Job (Russ & Daughters interview): 21:15–31:51
• Chihuahuas, Louvre, gay sheep knits: 34:19–39:36
• Listener Limerick Challenge: 39:28–43:42
• Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank: 44:32–50:00
• Pet predictions: 51:10–51:45

---

Tone & Style

• Trademark blend of wry NPR humor, New York Jewish banter, and snappy panelist repartee.
• Joyelle Nicole Johnson’s candid comedic takes keep everyone laughing.
• Peter Sagal’s sharp, quick delivery carries the episode from segment to segment.

---

Closing

A perfectly balanced episode: clever panelists, a glimpse into NYC food history, and a parade of genuinely weird headlines. If you’ve ever wondered whether there’s a right way to order your lox, or if raccoons are evolution’s next darlings, this is the holiday episode for you.

---

For fans: If you missed the live show, this summary will fill you in on the best jokes, wildest trivia, and the storied flavor behind a century-old appetizing institution.

Transcript

[Peter Sagal]

Support for this podcast and the following message come from Dignity Memorial. For many families, remembering loved ones means honoring the details that made them unique. Dignity Memorial is dedicated to professionalism and compassion in every detail of a life celebration. Find a provider near [e-mail].

[Bill Curtis]

From NPR n WBEC Chicago, this is. Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News quiz. I'm the voice so intoxicating you need to stop operating heavy machinery. Bill Curtis. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. We've got a great show for you today. But first, Thanksgiving is coming up on Thursday, and we want to take this opportunity to remind you you have just a few days left to come up with a single thing to be thankful for this year. How about K Pop Demon Hunters? That was pretty good, right? You'll think of something. One thing you could be thankful for every year is bagels and lox, which is why we'll be talking to the owners of Russ and Daughters, a legendary Jewish food shop in New York's Lower east side. But first, we want to serve you up some tidbits from the news. Give us a call at 1-888-wait-wait. That's 1-88- let's welcome our first listener contestant. How you run. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Hi, this is Tracy Kinchelo from Louisville, Kentucky.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, I love Louisville. What do you do there?

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

I'm a middle school teacher.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, my God. You are the bravest of the brave to voluntarily enter a middle school.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

What grade do you teach, Tracy? Six, seven.

[Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman)]

Which one?

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Oh, my gosh. Today was the 67th day of school.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Oh, no.

[Peter Sagal]

So sor. Don't worry.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

You're a saint.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, welcome to our show, Tracy. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, her comedy album, yell a Joy, is available on Blonde Medicine and your favorite streaming platform, it's Joyelle Nicole Johnson.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Hi, Tracy.

[Peter Sagal]

Next, a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning and host of the Audible original Envy Enlightened, it's Faith Saley.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Hi, Tracy. Hi, Faith. I have two middle schoolers, so thank you for your service.

[Peter Sagal]

And we are delighted to welcome back to our show comedian and author of Is It Hot in Here Or Am I Suffering for all Eternity for the sins I committed on earth? It's Zach Zimmerman.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Hi, Tracy.

[Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman)]

Hi, Zack.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

I'm not allowed around middle schools anymore.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, Tracy, welcome to the show. You're going to play who's Bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show, you may choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go?

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

I think so.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay, your first quote is from a 40 year old NBA superstar. Right after making sports history this week.

[Bill Curtis]

That just made my back hurt.

[Peter Sagal]

So what? Los Angeles Laker has now played in more NBA seasons than anyone else ever.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

I would love to be an NBA fan, but the season is entirely too long.

[Peter Sagal]

Well, not so.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Oh, was it LeBron James?

[Peter Sagal]

It was LeBron James.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Yes.

[Additional voice or announcer]

Okay.

[Peter Sagal]

On Tuesday night, LeBron James broke an NBA record when he started his 23rd season in the league. I know you were worried I was gonna say On Tuesday night, LeBron James broke both of his hips. But this is how long he has been playing. When LeBron was a rookie, many of his current opponents were not yet born.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Oh my gosh.

[Peter Sagal]

It's absolutely true. He's going to play a team this week that has seven people on it that were not born in his rookie season. It must be so frustrating for LeBron when those younger players like don't understand his Seinfeld based trash talk references. Like when he goes up to block a dunk and shouts no soup for you.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

That's funny cause LeBron is 40 and as a 44 year old, I would just like to say he should probably quit soon. Cause he is about to go through perimenopause.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

You know what, let's just slap some estrogen patches on him and give him another five years.

[Peter Sagal]

Absolutely.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

I hope he stays in the game for as long as possible. Cause as not a sports fan as well. Tracy, he's one of the ones I know.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

So the longer he sticks around, I can stay relevant.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Yeah, it's funny cause he's old, but do you know he has like a handshake for every person he has ever met?

[Peter Sagal]

Like a different handshake? Yes.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

And they're elaborate up and down.

[Peter Sagal]

He must have met a lot of people. He's 40 years old.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Yeah.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

They have a compilation of this on the Internet of LeBron giving different handshakes. And the handshakes are like 20, 30 seconds long. So I think he's staving off dementia with these handshake.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, here is your next quote.

[Bill Curtis]

Fusilli freaks are scrambling.

[Peter Sagal]

That was New York magazine talking about news that tariffs may soon result in terrible shortages of fusilli and all Italian. What?

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Pasta.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, pasta. According to the Wall Street Journal quote Italian pasta is poised to disappear, which is also what I say when I sidle up to a big bowl of fettuccine Alfredo. Apparently this is because there's going to be big tariffs that are going to hit Italian pasta. We don't know why the US Government is messing with the price of pasta. That's traditionally the Mafia's job. But the tariff is seen as a present to the American pasta industry. Right. Which explains why at the big state dinner this week, the president was seated right next to Chef Boyardee.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

What's the Olive Garden going to do? Will the never ending pasta bowl end well?

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

But they're good old American pasta. Yeah, the bottomless.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

I love that.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

You thought Olive Garden got their pasta from Italy.

[Peter Sagal]

They have a school. They have a school.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

They have a school in Italy.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Everything I've ordered from there was made from scratch in Sicily by an Italian grandma, fourth generation, and frozen and put in a pouch and dethawed and mixed with salt and sadness and served to me on every birthday graduation of my childhood in Roanoke, Virginia.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Yeah, I fell asleep through that explanation.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

I'll still do that to you.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, your last quote is someone commenting on some breakthrough news in the animal world this week.

[Bill Curtis]

Looking forward to watching my grandchildren argue about dogs versus cats versus raccoons someday.

[Peter Sagal]

That was in response to a scientific study came out suggesting that raccoons are on their way to becoming what, pets? Yes, pets. Researchers have found that raccoons seem to be evolving towards domestication just like dogs and cats did way back when. So this means you could soon have a raccoon in your inside trash cans. Scientific American reports raccoons that live near humans have evolved floppier ears, shorter snouts, and softer features. Basically, they're getting cuter. Scientists say this means they could soon live alongside us in our homes. While raccoons say.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

But here's the thing. They don't say that. And I know that because I live in New York City. And they are just brazen. They're no longer nocturnal. If I'm running around Central park in the morning, they're up. They're just looking at me from a trash can.

[Peter Sagal]

They don't hiss.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

They don't even care.

[Peter Sagal]

I'm just saying. Are you sure they're raccoons? And not very large rats wearing a mask.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

So you're saying if I eat trash, I'll become adorable?

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

You could try.

[Peter Sagal]

At your age, Zach, it's worth a try.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

But I like this Idea as a New Yorker, because a lot of city people get their noses made cuter.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, that's true.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Right. It's very urban.

[Peter Sagal]

Although I don't think that's how it's happening. I don't think the raccoons are looking at each other and going, phil, did you have work done?

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

You know, there's a little Thanksgiving trivia aspect to this.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, please.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Calvin Coolidge in 1926, was given a raccoon from someone from Mississippi to have for Thanksgiving dinner.

[Peter Sagal]

Really?

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

And Calvin Coolidge said, no, it's really cute. And he and his wife named it Rebecca. And Rebecca the raccoon was beloved by Americans for his whole presidency.

[Bill Curtis]

There you go.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

That's why they say, don't look a gift raccoon in the mouth. Mouse.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

What is it?

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

They're always saying it. Look it up. Never.

[Peter Sagal]

Bill, how did Tracy do in her quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Well, she is middle school perfect. A score she can be proud of.

[Peter Sagal]

Congratulations, Tracy. Thank you so much for playing, and thanks for the brave work you do.

[Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman)]

Thank you.

[Peter Sagal]

Bye. Bye. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. JOY L. Scientists announced this week that we now know it was about 20 million years ago that our most ancient ancestors first did what, 20 million years ago? Anywhere from, like 17 to 20 million.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Years, they think set afire. Set something a billion.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, and this was. This was before fire. Oh. This is a real. This is something that people tend. This is something that a lot of people like to do, say, next to a roaring fire.

[Bill Curtis]

Ooh.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Have sexual relationships.

[Peter Sagal]

You're. I was about to say you're close, but I don't know if that's the right thing. But I'm gonna give it to you. The answer is kissing.

[Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman)]

Hmm.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

That's a sexual relation.

[Peter Sagal]

It is.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Man, I gotta up my number. I gotta up my body count.

[Additional voice or announcer]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

No. According to a pair of suspiciously rumpled scientists coming out of their lap, the very first kiss happened somewhere between 17 and 21 million years ago with some of our distant primate ancestors. Can you imagine what everybody else who was watching that day thought it was like, oh, come on, you two. Invent a room.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

How the heck do they figure that out?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Somebody's diary.

[Peter Sagal]

Dear diary, Og and I pressed our lips together. I don't have an English accent exactly. Well, I mean, not all of them, but I. I figured a diarist would be pretty sophisticated, right? No, actually, it's a good question. They did it through genetics tracing. They looked at animals today. That kiss, including ourselves and Chimps and bonobos. And then they traced certain genetic lineages back through time to figure out when the first animal might have been that we all descended from that might have had that behavior. And they estimate again 17 to 21 million years ago.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Those scientists know we need to cure cancer, right?

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

What if, what if the cure's a kiss?

[Peter Sagal]

What if the cure's a kiss?

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

What if the cure's a kiss?

[Peter Sagal]

You never know. And this is interesting because the way science works to do this study, they had to define kissing, right? Since there are other behaviors where mouths might touch. And here's what they came up with. The scientific definition of kissing, quote, non aggressive mouth to mouth contact that does not involve food transfer, unquote. I just gotta say, not the way I do it.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Aw, man.

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up, we'll have your people talk to my people in our bluff the listener game. Call 1 Triple 8. Wait, wait to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, wait, Don't tell me from npr. Hey, it's Peter. Now, if you are anything like our typical fan, you must be an enthusiastic evangelist for our show. You tell everybody about it. You grab strangers on the street. You lean into cars with open windows and say, hey, have you ever heard about as they drive away? There's a much simpler and less dangerous way to spread the news about our show. If you're a fan, just go to the podcast site that you get this from and rate us and review us. People really dig that. So if you like, wait, wait. Remember to rate us and review us, but you know positively. This message comes from Cook Unity. Cooking quality meals takes time, but it doesn't have to be your time. Enjoy culinary masterpieces for way less than restaurants, takeout or the grocery store. Get comfort and nutrition delivered in every bite thanks to CookUnity's award winning chefs. Heat and eat in as little as two minutes. Go to cookunity.com tellme or enter code tellme before checkout to get free premium meals for life. This message comes from NPR sponsor Patagonia. As environmental progress stalls, Patagonia believes it's on businesses to step up. The company knows it isn't perfect, but it's proving businesses can make a profit without bankrupting the planet. Out now is Patagonia's 2025 work in progress report a behind the scenes look into its impact initiatives from quitting forever chemicals and decarbonizing its supply chain to embracing fair trade. Explore [e-mail] impact this message comes from Charles Schwab.

[Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman)]

When it comes to managing your wealth, Schwab gives you more choices like full service, wealth management and advice when you need it. You can also invest on your own and trade on thinkorswim. Visit schwab.com to learn more. This message comes from Progressive Insurance and the name your price tool. It helps you find car insurance options in your budget. Try it [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates price and coverage match, limited by state law, not available in all states.

[Bill Curtis]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't TELL me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Faith Seely, Joyell, Nicole Johnson and Zach Zimmerman. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much, everybody. Right now it is time for the Wait, wait, don't tell me bluff the listener game. Call 1-8 8, wait wait. To play our game in the air. Hi. You are on Wait, Wait, don't TELL me.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Hi, this is Kevin from San Mateo, California.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, that's great. What do you do there? I'm a high school history teacher. Oh, my goodness.

[Bill Curtis]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Yet another one.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

My class reacts the same way after every lesson.

[Peter Sagal]

I know. And so what kind of history do you teach? I teach United States history. Oh, I didn't realize that was still allowed. It is. We're good. There's some good days and you tread lightly, but yes, an adventure. It's great to have you, Kevin. You are here to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Kevin's topic?

[Bill Curtis]

A star is born.

[Peter Sagal]

This week, a rising star signed with a big Hollywood agent. That's the huge honor and stepping stone where you give someone 10% of your money in exchange for them maybe at some point returning your phone call, our panelists are going to tell you who just got representation. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win the weight waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

I'm ready.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you. All right, then. Let's start then with Faith Saley.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

All hail the Spurtle. The Spurtle is a wooden Scottish kitchen tool dating from the 15th century, used to stir porridge. But it's so much more unlike the pathetic spatula, the Spurtle can scrape, scoop, smash, spread, whisk, but mostly whack. And after a hearty bidding war, the Spurtle is the newest star to be signed by caa. The utensil's modern resurgence began when Andrew Huberman mentioned the Spurtle in hour five of his podcast last week. Not only is the tool multipurpose, it also has a sexy backstory where Scottish wives use their Spurtles to spank their husbands. Ooh, sexy and a little bad. Watch out, Billy Bob Thornton. If you want to stuff your man stocking with one, you'd better get on a wait list. Alexander McQueen sold out of its $3,000 spurtles, and rumor has it that Timothee Chalamet is about to propose to Kylie not with a ring, but with a golden Spurtle.

[Peter Sagal]

The Spurtle is the hot new kitchen utensil of the moment. Just signed with caa. Your name Our next talent agent tale comes from Zach Zimmerman.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Move over, Mozzarella. Get out of here, Gouda. There's a new Italian bombshell rolling onto the red carpet. According to the Hollywood Reporter talent agency, UTA has just signed Parmigiano Reggiano, the next name on everyone's lips and accidentally sprinkled on everyone's laps. The Parmigiano Reggiano Consortium, which regulates the production of the cheese and sounds sort of sinister, signed with the agency to explore product placement opportunities in TV and movies. Imagine if Glinda didn't travel by bubble but was rolled around in a wheel of Parmigiano Reggiano. Or if When Harry Meets Sally at Katz's Deli, the I'll have what she's having was a sensible Caesar salad with Parmigiano Reggiano. The cheese has been made the same way in only five regions of Italy for over 1,000 years, which proves true that in Hollywood, to be an overnight success, it takes 1000 years.

[Peter Sagal]

Parmigiano Reggiano, the delicious cheese, has signed with UTA. Your last star getting signed comes from Joyell Nicole Johnson Union High School in.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

The diner capital of the world. My home state, New Jersey, has signed with wme.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Why?

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

It was one of the main filming locations of shock jock Howard Stern's raunchy feature Private Parts. Filmed in 1997, the movie's popularity has surged after being name checked by Mr. Beast, the viral sensation who might be the actual devil. In one of his zany pranks, he locked two people in the private park school for three months. It seemed like a random plank, but yet the video has 50 billion views. This stunt made his fans lock in, and now the high school is a hot spot for niche travelers all over the world. WME saw potential as the perfect location for Anytown usa, period, since, in true New Jersey fashion, it hasn't changed its facade since the mid 20th century. If it ain't broke, sign it to an agency. And now the entire summer calendar is booked for filming everything from commercials to movies, with the caveat that the money won't be used to fix the school at all. Sorry, students. Hope you enjoy writing essays on the oldest computers in the world.

[Peter Sagal]

All right, some rising star got an agent this week. Was it from Faith Saley, The Spurtle, the Scottish porridge utensil signing with caa? From Zach Zimmerman, Parmigiano Reggiano, that, you know, cheese signing with uta or the high school from private parts, which, according to Joyel, signed with wme. Which of these was the thing that landed an agent in Hollywood? This week I'm going to have.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Even though I'm a hearty Gouda man, I'm going to have to pick Zach's Parmesan Reggiano.

[Peter Sagal]

You're going to pick Zach's story there of the cheese getting representation. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone familiar with that real newly minted star. When I go to pizza places, I'll.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Still use the shaker Parmesan on my.

[Peter Sagal]

Pizza, but Parmesano Reggiano is the real deal. Yeah, that was Kelly Freemeyer, general manager and cheesemonger at Beautiful Rind in Chicago talking about the new star, Parmigiano Reggiano. For further inquiries, please go to their agent at United Talent Agency. Congratulations, Kevin. You got it right. You're earned. A point for Zach just for telling the truth in a charming way. And you've won our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose on your voicemail. Well done, sir.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Thank you very much, guys.

[Peter Sagal]

Great playing with you. Take care. You, too.

[Bill Curtis]

All the best.

[Peter Sagal]

And now, the game we call not my job. For more than 100 years, there has been a store on Houston street on New York's Lower east side called Russ and Daughter's Appetizers. They sell bagels and smoked fish of every variety and chopped liver and every Jewish delicacy imaginable. Today, the store is owned by two members of the fourth generation of the Russ family, who have expanded their business into the Internet age but will never, ever, ever put ham and cheese on a bagel. Nikki, Russ Fetterman and John Russ Tupper. Welcome to. Wait, Wait, don't tell me. Thanks for having us, Peter. Okay, first things first. I want to get this out of the way because I know you're sensitive about it. Your store sells bagels and lox and chopped liver and cream cheese, but you are not a deli that's correct. Why not? And how do you punish people who call you one?

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

Well, we work with very sharp knives.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

So, you know, you want to stay away if you cross us, but we're an appetizing store, and appetizing is the sister food tradition to delicatessen. So if you're thinking of corned beef and pastrami, that's delicatessen. If you're thinking of bagels and lox, that's appetizing.

[Peter Sagal]

Right.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

Funny word, but it's for delicious food.

[Peter Sagal]

I am fairly Jewish, I guess, and I grew up, growing up. Nobody ever said, you want to get some appetizing.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

Where'd you grow up, Peter?

[Peter Sagal]

I grew up in New Jersey and in Boston, back and forth.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

All right. Which is not New York.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

It's true.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

And appetizing is a classic New York invention.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

The word comes actually from the Yiddish word forspice, which means appetizers. But probably a Yiddish speaker, someone like our great grandfather, was trying to translate fourspeis, and instead of saying appetizer, said appetizing, and that's what stuck.

[Josh Russ Tupper]

And, Peter, you're Jewish. We call it Jewish.

[Peter Sagal]

That's right. Jew. I'm not really committed. I'm just sort of Jewish. Yeah, I know. I don't know. Appetizing. How can I be truly Jew?

[Josh Russ Tupper]

Correct.

[Peter Sagal]

You mentioned your great grandfather. Your great grandfather, the original Russ, he started selling creamed herring from a push cart in the Lower east side.

[Josh Russ Tupper]

He was selling schmaltz herring, which is a salt cured herring. And at that time, like, heavily salted, so we did not need refrigeration and could sell it from a pushcart.

[Peter Sagal]

So he would go around with a push cart with herring, so salted it wouldn't rot and people bought it.

[Josh Russ Tupper]

Exactly, right, exactly. They were tough times, Peter.

[Peter Sagal]

I understand. Enough time.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

It was wrapped in the newspaper. That's how it came packaged in newspaper in newspaper.

[Josh Russ Tupper]

Made it even more delicious. The ink in there.

[Peter Sagal]

Do you still.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

It's the house that herring built.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. Do you still sell schmaltz herring in the store? We do.

[Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman)]

We do.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

And actually, Anthony Bourdain, the late, great Anthony Bourdain, who was a dear customer and loved Russ and daughters deeply, he, of all the things he wants to me, ate his way down our counter, right. From all the different smoked fish and salmons. And the thing that he loved the most was the schmalt herring, which is basically like. It's kind of like a giant anchovy. It's that kind of intense, salty umami. And he Said, this is, it's so primal. It connects you to your ancestors. So we definitely still have it.

[Peter Sagal]

You are the fourth generation in the family to own and operate it. But, but you're relatively young. And as you said, your customers, some of them must be very elderly. Your store's been there for a long time. Do they ever give you a hard time? Like, what are you doing? That's not how you do that here. That's not how you slice a schmaltz herring. Let me show you.

[Josh Russ Tupper]

Yes. Our customers for, you know, if someone that's been shopping there for 60 years longer than I am alive have a lot to say about how we're doing things, we have created the most difficult customers in the world. I like to say, for better or for worse.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Have they ever given you any good wisdom to chew on?

[Josh Russ Tupper]

I'm sure they have. I could not.

[Peter Sagal]

I mean, I'm just, of course, every stereotype of elderly Jews is running in my head. Like, here's a tip for you, this is cheaper across the street. For those who haven't been to the original store, it's a small store, it's long, it's narrow, there's a very long line, right. And so when you get to the front, you don't want to waste time, Right? So can you guys like tell me the appropriate way to order your bagel or your sliced fish? Like a professional.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

Know what you want ahead of time? Yeah, you can ask for a taste of one kind of salmon, but don't ask for three or four.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay?

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

Look at the bagels and know what kind of bagel you want. So we don't have to say poppy, plain, sesame, onion, everything, whole wheat, pumpernickel, and go through the whole list.

[Peter Sagal]

Right?

[Josh Russ Tupper]

This is how we would like people to order. But the true professional is the 85 year old man or woman that comes in and says, give me a taste of every single type of salmon and can I get a taste of a bagel? And then they walk out.

[Peter Sagal]

One last question, obvious idea for you guys. You go to Dunkin Donuts, they got your donuts, you got your donut holes. I've never been to an appetizing where they have bagels and bagel holes. Why not?

[Josh Russ Tupper]

That's very funny. We just taught a bagel class with a bunch of people and we were rolling bagels by hand and showing people how to roll bagels by hand. And then there are all these misshapen, funny bagels that people rolled by hands. Then there was this little ball and I was like, who made this one? And this woman raised her hand. I was like, what is this, a bagel hole? We have never tried it, but I think that might be being baked right now.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, I was about to say, you have to split the royalties between that lady and me.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

Innovation comes to us and daughters once every 100 years.

[Additional voice or announcer]

Exactly.

[Peter Sagal]

And it's. Well, Nikki and Josh, it is a pleasure to kibitz with you about bagels and such, but we have asked you here to play a game we're calling Lox Meat Lox. You were both famous experts in picking out the most delicious lox. So we're gonna ask you about an expert in picking the other kind of lox. That would be Harry Houdini. Answer two to three questions. Right, and you will win our prize for one of our listeners. Any voice they might choose for their voicemail. Bill, who are Nikki and Josh playing for?

[Bill Curtis]

Ben Rill of Boston, Massachusetts.

[Peter Sagal]

All right.

[Josh Russ Tupper]

Well, I'm glad he's from Boston. We won't feel so bad if we lose.

[Bill Curtis]

There you are.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah. Here's your first question. You were allowed to collaborate or argue, depending on how you get along. Houdini was, of course, the world's most famous escape artist, and he escaped from many unusual places during his career, including which of these? A, A, the belly of a whale, B, a working furnace, or C, a really awkward dinner party?

[Josh Russ Tupper]

I would say it's a working furnace.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

I agree.

[Peter Sagal]

So you're thinking the working furnace that's on fire, he gets thrown in? No, it was the belly of a whale.

[Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman)]

What?

[Peter Sagal]

A whale washed up on a shore in Boston. And a bunch of rich businessmen, including a taxidermist, carried it to Houdini's theater and said, try to get out of that. And he did. All right, so.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

And then he went back to Nineveh to preach the gospel.

[Peter Sagal]

He did two more questions. Houdini actually challenged the public to come up with things for him to escape from, and it got dangerous. He almost died when he accepted one challenge to escape from a barrel filled with what, a beer? B, BE's or C, Styrofoam peanuts.

[Josh Russ Tupper]

I would say beer.

[Peter Sagal]

So what do you think, Nikki? Do you agree? It's beer.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

You know, in Cousin Unity, I'll stick.

[Josh Russ Tupper]

With we have a better chance. Like, I think if we pick two. Right. We could still win.

[Peter Sagal]

So are you gonna agree that it's beer? Yes, it is beer. Very good. Yes. He didn't drink Houdini, so he swallowed. That was a problem. And the carbon dioxide made it hard to breathe. And well, basically, he almost suffocated, but he got out. Your last question. If you get this right, you win. Houdini once sued a police officer who said that he bribed people to fake his escapes.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Right.

[Peter Sagal]

Oh, he's not going to stand for that. So he sued and he won his case by opening the judge's safe in the middle of the courtroom.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Ta da.

[Peter Sagal]

He later revealed he pulled off this trick how, A, Houdini had the exact same model of safe at home, B, he had a friend look up the judge's wife's birthday ahead of time so he could figure out the combination, or C, the safe wasn't locked to begin with.

[Josh Russ Tupper]

Here you go, Vicki.

[Peter Sagal]

Ah.

[Josh Russ Tupper]

What do you got?

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

Put it on me. I think it's the. I think it's the wife's birthday because I'm really bad about coming up with good passwords. I also shouldn't be telling this too.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Russ and daughters.

[Josh Russ Tupper]

Password1. I think it wasn't locked.

[Peter Sagal]

You think it wasn't locked? So, Nikki, you're going to go for the wife's birthday to presumably guess the combination.

[Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman)]

Yeah.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

Let's divide and conquer on this one.

[Peter Sagal]

Very good. Actually, it turns out that Josh was right. It wasn't locked. They brought out the safe. He said, ta da. And he opened it up, won the case.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Everybody.

[Peter Sagal]

Everybody was amazed. And Houdini and lady revealed actually wasn't even locked. There you go, Bill. How did Nikki and Josh do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Two out of three. That means you're a winner. We'll pay you in bagels. Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Kohl's to Newcastle. Oh, and by the way, before we let you go, Nikki, what is your birthday? Nikki, Russ Fetterman and Josh Russ Tupperware are the owners of Russ and Daughters, the legendary store in New York, and two of the authors of Russ and Daughters 100 Years of Appetizing A New Cookbook. Nikki, Russ Fetterman and Josh Rustupper, thank you so much for joining us on Wait Wait, don't tell.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Thanks.

[Peter Sagal]

Such a pleasure to talk to you. I look forward to coming by the next time and taking my number. See you soon. Bye. Bye.

[Josh Russ Tupper]

Thanks, guys.

[Peter Sagal]

In just a minute, what a tangled web we weave in our listener Limerick challenge game. Call One Trolley 8 wait wait. To join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me. From npr, Support for this podcast and the following message come from Mint Mobile. At Mint Mobile, their favorite word is no. No contracts, no monthly bills, no hidden fees. Plans start at $15 a month. Make the [e-mail] wait. That's mintmobile.com wait upfront payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month limited time. New customer offer for first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 GB on unlimited plan. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. This message comes from Superhuman, the AI productivity suite that gives you superpowers everywhere you work. With Grammarly, mail and coda coming together, you get proactive help across your workflow so you can outsmart the chaos experience. AI that proactively helps you go from to do to done faster. Unleash your superhuman potential today. Learn [e-mail] podcast. That's superhuman.com podcast.

[Additional voice or announcer]

This message comes from NPR sponsor Veeam. AI promised intelligence, but it also exposed everything people couldn't see, like scattered data and hidden risks. Now there's a new way forward where protection, governance and AI trust move together. With Veeam Security AI, you can see your entire data estate in real time because when resilience, security, governance and AI trust come together, innovation moves safely and faster. Learn more about accelerating safe AI at [e-mail].

[Bill Curtis]

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is. Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Faith Seely, Zach Zimmerman, and Joy L. Nicole Johnson. And here again as your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, is Peter Sagal.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you so much, Bill. Thank you, everybody. In just a minute, Bill is named poet laureate of our show in the Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd to like to play, give us a call at 1-88-wait wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right. Now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Joel, you know we have bodybuilding competitions, right? We have CrossFit tournaments, world's strongest man tournaments. The latest thing in contests is to test the strength of what, like a.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Like a bike seat?

[Peter Sagal]

No, I'm sorry. Out of the universe of things that the answer could be to test the strength of, you chose a bicycle seat.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Listen, bicycle seats are racist and sexist. I will say this, they are not for a black woman's butt. Okay, I need a new bicycle seat. Bicycle seat. Final answer.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

I'd say it was right if I was you, Peter.

[Peter Sagal]

You're right. Yeah. Bicycles. No. I'll give you a hint. Oh, he's yippee. But he's a dynamo.

[Bill Curtis]

Dogs.

[Peter Sagal]

Yeah, little tiny dogs. The strength of A dog the strength of Chihuahuas.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

What do you box them?

[Peter Sagal]

Like box them up or you put.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

How you find out? You put like weights on them?

[Peter Sagal]

Sorta kinda. This is the ten pounds and under division of the North American Weight Pull Association Championships. Top Chihuahuas can pull over 50 times their own body weight.

[Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman)]

Whoa.

[Peter Sagal]

That is the equivalent of an adult male also doing something he really shouldn't be doing.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Is Peter aware of this? Cause that sounds like they would be upset.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Do these Chihuahuas want to do this?

[Peter Sagal]

Apparently they're enthusiastic. I mean, all dogs want to work, right? I mean, it does seem like the kind of thing you do for dogs in the Iditarod. And it's so cool to see Chihuahuas doing it, because usually they're the sort of thing that is fed to the dogs in the Iditarod. Zach, I have a question for you, Zack. Just weeks after the famous heist at the Louvre museum, the museum suffered another embarrassment this week as two men managed to get inside. And do what?

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

It wouldn't have been a robbery.

[Peter Sagal]

No, in many ways, it was the opposite of a robbery.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

A gift.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes. They actually broke into the Louvre to hang up one of their own paintings. And not only that, but they hung it in the same room with the Mona Lisa. So these two Belgian pranksters managed to sneak a framed self portrait of the two of them into the museum, and they hung it next to the da Vinci masterpiece. Staff knew that something had to be wrong when they noticed people leaving the Mona Lisa room not looking disappointed.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Damn Leo. Catching strays.

[Peter Sagal]

Anyway, the painting was up on the wall for less than three minutes before securing noticed what was going on and sent a team to take it down. And while they were doing that, a second pair of people managed to steal another hundred million dollars. Zach. This week we learned about a new clothing line that the fashion world is obsessed with. It's a collection of knitwear made exclusively from the wool of sheep. Which are what?

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

The wool of sheep, which are boys.

[Peter Sagal]

They are boys. All of them.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Gay sheep.

[Peter Sagal]

They are, in fact, gay sheep.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

This feels targeted.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Are these randomly assigned? This feels quite targeted, I might say. And that's in bad taste.

[Peter Sagal]

It turns out sheep, just like humans, do gay stuff. A bunch of. And to celebrate this, a fashion designer and the app Grinder teamed. I was going to call it a dating app.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Is that right?

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

It's a meditation app.

[Peter Sagal]

Considering they teamed up to debut a 37 piece knitwear collection made exclusively from the wool of gay rams.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

I love the casting call. All right, let's see what you got. Never mind. How do you confirm that they're gay? Are they self identifying?

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Well, well, one is wearing a Native American headdress. One is wearing a mustache and looks like a police officer.

[Peter Sagal]

So basically the way it works is any given flock of sheep has a lot of ewes, but not many rams. And sometimes the rams just aren't interested. They call them confirmed baa Chelors. You started it.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

We need or don't you dare.

[Peter Sagal]

Don't you dare give.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Everybody sit down. There's no reason to clap so loudly for that. Please standing ovate. You're too kind to Peter.

[Additional voice or announcer]

Yeah.

[Peter Sagal]

Coming up. It's lightning. Fill in the blank. But first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-88-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago. Or please catch us on the road. We'll be in Phoenix, Arizona on December 4th. For tickets and information about all our live events, go to nprpresents.org hi everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Hi, this is Emma and I'm calling from Syracuse, New York.

[Peter Sagal]

Syracuse is a lovely place upstate.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Yes, very snowy.

[Peter Sagal]

I ask with some anticipation, what do you do there?

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

I am an orchestra teacher. Hussa.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Pew, pew, pew, pew.

[Additional voice or announcer]

Yay.

[Peter Sagal]

You said you teach orchestra in middle school?

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Yes, in elementary.

[Nikki Russ Fetterman]

So very beginners up until they get to high school.

[Peter Sagal]

You are the most patient soul alive.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Do you have to practice not cringing? My poker face is very good. I bet.

[Peter Sagal]

I bet. Well, Emma, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correct on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to go?

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

I sure am.

[Peter Sagal]

Here is your first limerick.

[Bill Curtis]

These silky strands flutter and ebb. Its makers are spider celebs. This underground cave is an insect's mass grave. We've just found the world's largest web.

[Peter Sagal]

Right?

[Bill Curtis]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

Scientists have discovered the biggest spider web of all time. And no. It is in a cave in Europe. It is not the one you just walked into in your garage. It's massive. It covers more than 1,000 square feet. It has a three car garage and an open concept kitchen.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Do they know how many spiders made it?

[Peter Sagal]

Tens of thousands.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Oh my gosh.

[Peter Sagal]

Spiders are down there. And what I'm thinking about is like tens of thousands of spiders make a big web. Like how many flies do they expect them to be dumb enough to go down there?

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Did it say some? Some. Some.

[Peter Sagal]

Really?

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Really? That is some pig.

[Peter Sagal]

Here is your next limerick.

[Bill Curtis]

This king of the beasts and his scion might take fingers or hands as a buy. In. This feline cafe has large beasts of prey who grab a snack and try petting a lion.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, a lion. For anyone who loves a cat cafe that feels they lack an element of danger, there's a new lion cafe in China. For just $150, guests are invited to eat and drink while cuddling up with lions. You get a four course meal complete with drink pairings. The bad news, you are the fourth course.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Are they sedated?

[Peter Sagal]

No.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

What the heck?

[Peter Sagal]

Now they are lion cubs.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Little baby lions, right?

[Peter Sagal]

The only real danger, let's be honest, is like too many people picking up the damn thing, holding it up and start singing the song from the lion king.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Sing it.

[Peter Sagal]

Absolutely not.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Nah.

[Peter Sagal]

All right. All right. Here is your last limerick.

[Bill Curtis]

See Sam, my best friend, just go flutter by. Don't sigh, roll your eyes and then mutter, why does he go really far or just to a bar? I am tracking my personal.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Fly.

[Peter Sagal]

Kind of fly. Rhymes with flutterby. Oh, butterfly.

[Bill Curtis]

Butterfly.

[Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman)]

Yes.

[Peter Sagal]

We can now track in individual monarch butterflies as they migrate thousands of miles to and from Mexico. Scientists are able to do this thanks to tiny, tiny little sensors, each about the size of three grains of rice, that can be attached to the butterfly. Best part, all of this information from these thousands of butterflies as they fly is available in real time to any of us via an app. So if you have a special monarch in your life, you can find out if it's cheating on you.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Let's get engaged. Here's a butterfly that I want you to keep on you at all times.

[Peter Sagal]

Bill, how did Emma do on our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Emma orchestrated that perfectly. Three in a row. What a win.

[Peter Sagal]

Well done, Emma. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Thank you and thanks for playing.

[Additional voice or announcer]

This message comes From NPR sponsor LinkedIn Sales Navigator. Finding the right leads can feel like an endless search for sellers. What if you could get to the right conversations faster? From finding new leads to strengthening existing relationships, LinkedIn Sales Navigator is your strategic AI powered partner. It cuts through the noise with real time data and insights backed by LinkedIn's network of over 1 billion professionals. Try it free for 60 [e-mail]. wait, wait. That's LinkedIn.com wait, wait. Terms and conditions apply.

[Peter Sagal]

This message comes from NPR sponsor Viking Committed to exploring the world in comfort. Journey through the heart of Europe on an elegant Viking longship with thoughtful service, destination focused dining and cultural enrichment on board and onshore. And every Viking voyage is all inclusive with no children and no casinos. Discover [e-mail] we have arrived at our final game, Lightning. Fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

[Bill Curtis]

Faith has two. Joyell and Zach each have three.

[Peter Sagal]

Okay, so Faith, you are in second place. That means you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Trump signed a bill to release all the blankets.

[Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman)]

Epstein.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Monday, the U.N. security Council adopted the U.S. s peace plan for Blank.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Gaza.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. This week, the White House hosted a lavish state visit for the crown prince of Blank.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Saudi Arabia.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Monday, the new prime minister of Blank said she only sleeps two hours a night.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Oh.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

New Zealand.

[Peter Sagal]

No, Japan. This week, a man in China who cryogenically froze his wife in 2017 has announced. Blank.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Oh. That he's in love with somebody.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, he is. And people are mad. According to health experts, a new variant means the US Is in for a severe Blank season Flu. Right. On Tuesday, it was announced that after 40 years, Cher would once again be the musical guest on Blank.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Once again.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

On the Sonny and Cher show.

[Peter Sagal]

If I could turn back time. Saturday Night Live this week, a man in France took a wrong turn on the the way to the doctor and ended up in Blank.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Ended up in bed with Emmanuel Macron and his wife, Brigitte.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Nice.

[Peter Sagal]

No. After that, he ended up in Croatia. This man in France had just a 12 minute drive to his doctor, but apparently made the mistake of listening to his GPS and instead drove over 900 miles and through two countries, ending up in Croatia. See, this is what you get when you ask Google Maps to find you colonoscopies. Nowhere near me.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Said avoid tolls.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. Should have said avoid tolls and avoid Croatia. Bill, how did Faith do in our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

5. Right. 10 more points total to 12 puts her in the lead.

[Peter Sagal]

Zach, you are up next. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, people gathered in Washington D.C. for the funeral of former Vice President Blank.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Dick Cheney.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. On Wednesday, Trump's prosecuting attorney admitted that the full grand jury did not see the final indictment against Blank.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Comey.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. Despite a lack of evidence, the CDC's website now says there may be a link between Vaccines and blank Autism. Right. This week, the group behind the Academy Awards sent out a note reminding voters to please blank before voting.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Watch the movies.

[Peter Sagal]

Exactly. This week, the second Blank movie set box office records.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Oh, wicked.

[Peter Sagal]

On Monday, Vogue announced that costume art would be the theme of the 2026 Blank Gala.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Met.

[Peter Sagal]

Right. A toy company pulled its AI powered talking teddy bear from shelves after researchers discovered it could tell children how to blank.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Transfer food between their mouths.

[Peter Sagal]

No. They found that this AI powered talking teddy bear would tell children how to find knives. Oh, my God.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

What?

[Peter Sagal]

For me, the problem isn't that Kuma the teddy bear told kids, quote, you can find knives in a kitchen drawer or a knife block on a countertop. It said. He followed it up with, you can hide knives in the river after you've done what must be done. Bill, how did Zach do on our quiz?

[Bill Curtis]

Zach is hot. Six, right? 12 more points. 15 is the total.

[Peter Sagal]

And how many then does Joy l need to win?

[Bill Curtis]

6 to tie, 7 to win.

[Peter Sagal]

Let's go.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

How good I am at this.

[Peter Sagal]

Here we go, Joyel. We look forward to this every time. Fill in the blank, Joel. On Thursday, meetings began in Kyiv aimed at ending the war in blank.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

I don't know where Kyiv is.

[Peter Sagal]

It's in Ukraine. Ukraine. This week, the White House rolled back Biden era protections for blanks and their habitats.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Blanks?

[Peter Sagal]

Blanks and their habitats.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Chimpanzees?

[Peter Sagal]

No, endangered species. There aren't any of them here. Over 200 people have been arrested since blank raids began in Charlotte, North Carolina.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

Ugh. ICE.

[Peter Sagal]

Right after they couldn't resolve a years long custody dispute, a judge in Delaware made a divorced couple Blank get divorced again. No. Made them bid on their beloved golden. On Monday, Novo Nordisk announced it was lowering the price for weight loss drug Blank Ozempic. Right. According to a new study, Moss survived for nine months in blank Ozempic. Needles. No, in space. This week, everyone is okay. After a man pulled out a gun during an argument about blank Russ and daughter's bagels. Oh, you'd think. No. About how many eggs a chicken can lay in a day.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

That would have been my second.

[Peter Sagal]

We don't know why this group of friends at a bar in Florida started arguing over the breeding habits of chickens. But we do know one of the friends took the argument very seriously. That's gotta be an awkward moment in the group chat the next morning. Man, I was so drunk last night. I didn't start a fight about chickens and then pull a gun again, right? Yay.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

How'd I do Bill, not very well.

[Bill Curtis]

You're on our team, Joyel. You got two, right? Four more points. Seven total. And that means Zach is this week's champ.

[Peter Sagal]

In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict after raccoons, what will be the next new family pet. But first, let me tell you all. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago and association with with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philip Gautica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. And thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre, BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Drombos and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Roberson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynne is our gleep. Emma Choi is our visual gleep. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillock. And the executive producer, Wait, wait, don't tell me. Is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next pet we welcome into our homes Joyell Nicole Johnson.

[Joyell Nicole Johnson]

After abandoning the MAGA movement, Marjorie Taylor Greene is in search for a forever home.

[Peter Sagal]

Yes, Zach Zimmerman, the new.

[Panelist (possibly Zach Zimmerman or Joyell Nicole Johnson)]

Our new pet on the scene is gonna be the female mayfly, which can live for five minutes, the amount of time a child can take care of a pet.

[Peter Sagal]

And Faith Saley.

[Listener/Contestant (various callers)]

Rats in New York have gotten so big, we're just gonna invite them inside, put a sweater on them and call them capybaras.

[Bill Curtis]

If any of that happens, Fanel will ask you about it here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me.

[Peter Sagal]

Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Joyell, Nicole Johnson, Zach Zimmerman and Faith Sally. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theatre in beautiful downtown Chicago, Illinois. Thanks to all of you for listening, wherever you are. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR support for NPR.

[Panelist (possibly Joyell Nicole Johnson or Zach Zimmerman)]

And the following message come from HomeServe. Owning a home is full of surprises. And when something breaks, it can feel like the whole day unravels. HomeServe is ready to help, bringing peace of mind to four and a half million homeowners nationwide. Plans start at just $4.99 a month. Sign up today at HomeServe.com not available everywhere. Most plans range between $4.99 to $11.99 a month. Your first year terms apply on covered repairs. Support for NPR and the following message come from HomeServe. It never happens at a good time. The pipe bursts at midnight. The heater quits on the coldest night. Good thing HomeServe's hotline is available 24. 7 Call to schedule a repair, and a local pro will be on their way. Trusted by millions. For plans starting at $4.99 a month, go to homeserve.com not available everywhere. Most plans range between $4.99 to $11.99 a month. Your first year terms apply on covered repair.