Wake Up to Wealth — Mastering Communication

Host: Brandon Brittingham
Guest: Michael Bernoff
Date: October 17, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode of Wake Up to Wealth, host Brandon Brittingham is joined by communication expert Michael Bernoff. The conversation dives deep into the transformative power of communication—how the words we choose shape our success in business, relationships, and our own internal narratives. Together, Brandon and Michael break down practical frameworks and mindsets that empower listeners to become more influential in sales, leadership, and everyday life. The episode is densely packed with actionable strategies, stories from the frontlines (ranging from coaching fighters before UFC bouts to helping CEOs), neuroscience insights, and discussions on personal identity and success.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Michael Bernoff’s Background and Philosophy

[02:04]

• Michael describes himself as a specialist in language influence, communication, and how words affect outcomes for ourselves and others.
• The core question he explores: “How do you use your words in a way to get the largest impact and start getting what you want?” — Michael Bernoff [02:17]
• His obsession with communication began in his early 20s after being exposed to neuroscience and NLP. Over 25 years, he’s coached everyone from high-powered executives to athletes and everyday people.

2. The Power and Strategy of Language in Sales and Life

[05:45]

• Michael’s foundational principle:
  “Most people come to me and go, Michael, what should I say? … The real question is: What response do you want to get from the other person? We should speak for the response we want, not just to sound good.” — Michael Bernoff [05:52]

Real Estate Example — The “Who, What, Why” Framework

[05:45 – 09:30]

• Instead of positioning yourself as “just a real estate agent,” differentiate with honesty:
  “If all you were looking for is a real estate agent, you should probably check Google because that’s not what our company does.”
• Use rejection as an attention grabber, then redefine and elevate the client-agent relationship:
  • Coach, Mind Reader, Therapist, Parent—bring multidimensional value.
• Praise clients for making good decisions, framing them as proactive and confident:
  “Be proud of yourself, my friend. Here we are actually doing it.” — Michael Bernoff [09:05]

Tactical Takeaway:
Set emotional frames that validate the client’s choices and encourage forward-thinking impact.

3. The Four Types of Communicators: Why, What, How, What If

[09:34 – 13:24]

• Michael’s “cross framework” explains that people process information based on preference for:
  • Why: Seeking reason or purpose.
  • What: Looking for details and specifics.
  • How: Craving actionable steps.
  • What If: Focused on possibilities or doubts.
• Addressing each type unlocks mental “defense mechanisms”:
  “Our defense mechanisms inside the brain that make us stay in our average, I call it, are controlled by these four words.” — Michael Bernoff [12:32]
• Reframe “What If” skepticism into possibility:
  “What if today in this meeting was the beginning of changing your financial situation forever?” — Michael Bernoff [13:03]

4. Identity and Decision-Making: Why Most People Stay Stuck

[14:47 – 20:09]

• People make decisions based on outdated identities, often shaped in childhood or prior circumstances.
• Identity influences every financial and personal choice—often keeping people from progressing or adapting:
  “Every one of us has an identity that controls what it is that we do. So the majority of our identities are controlled by something that isn’t even going on right now.” — Michael Bernoff [14:56]
• Real estate example: Shifting sellers from “I must get the highest price” to “I am smart for buying/investing at the right time, and I can do it again.”

5. Breaking the Cycle: How to Shift and Upgrade Your Identity

[20:09 – 24:56]

• Operate from your current identity, not your “victim of success” mindset:
  “Most of us are operating from an outdated identity instead of our current identity… The life we’re living is better than where we were, but not where we want to be.” — Michael Bernoff [21:00]
• Encourage team members or family to “opt in” by making improvement their own idea.
• Real change means recognizing strengths and consciously upgrading your “script,” not dismantling the old self.

6. Three Levers of Identity Shift

[24:08]

1. Language: Change how you speak about yourself and to others.
2. Script: Alter the story you tell yourself and the roles you play.
3. Mindset: Shift your mental framing from “it’s hard” to “it’s not hard, just harder than I’d like it to be.”

7. The Trap of Arriving — Why Achievement Alone Isn’t Enough

[25:26 – 32:20]

• The biggest limiting belief:
  “That we know what we’re doing and that we’re good at it.” — Michael Bernoff [26:53]
• Contentment with “being better than before” often stops further growth.
• Progress is not a destination: “We need to get there. And our biggest… driving force in the world is ‘You know what? I’m not where I want to be.’” — Michael Bernoff [28:16]
• Arriving at a goal is rarely as satisfying as the pursuit:
  “The ceremony is only 25 minutes… and then it’s back to work.” — Brandon Brittingham [29:04]

8. The Neuroscience of Motivation — “Excitement, Mundane, Goal” Cycle

[32:20 – 34:45]

• Excitement is fleeting:
  Motivation spikes for about “seven days” after a new goal or purchase.
• Mundane creates wealth:
  “We need to get obsessed with the mundane. We need to love boring. We need to entertain ourselves…” — Michael Bernoff [33:25]
• Pursue new targets, but embrace process over dopamine hits.

9. Defining Wealth: Freedom and Ease

[35:37 – 37:27]

• Brandon’s final question: “What is your version of waking up to wealth?”
• Michael’s answer:
  “To me, wealth is convenience… being able to do the things I want to do and not have to say no to what I want or don’t want.” — Michael Bernoff [35:46]
• Recommends J. Paul Getty’s “How to Be Rich” as required reading on diverse paths to wealth.
• Reiterates the importance of leveraging “finances, language, and communication” to create an easy, empowered life.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “What response do you want to get from the other person? We should speak for the response we want…” — Michael Bernoff [05:52]
• “Rejection not only breeds obsession, but… it gets people to go, ‘Well, they’re not that, what are they?’ Now I got their attention.” — Michael Bernoff [06:19]
• “Our job is to get people to feel confident—not in us, in themselves.” — Michael Bernoff [08:23]
• “It’s not about dismantling who you are. It’s adding to what you do and deciding you’re going to get better.” — Michael Bernoff [22:08]
• “The excitement stage lasts 7 minutes, 7 days, 7 seconds. We need to get obsessed with the mundane.” — Michael Bernoff [33:25]
• “To me, wealth is convenience. I do not like wasting time on things I don’t want to waste time on.” — Michael Bernoff [35:46]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:04] Michael Bernoff’s background and entry into communication coaching
• [05:45] Language for selling/real estate and reframing client relationships
• [09:34] The “Why, What, How, What If” communication framework
• [14:47] Identity-driven decisions and narrative transformation
• [20:09] How to break free from an outdated or limiting identity
• [25:26] The psychology of being “stuck” while knowing you can achieve more
• [28:15] The pursuit of goals vs. arriving
• [32:20] The excitement, mundane, and goal cycle—embracing process over end results
• [35:37] Michael’s personal definition of wealth and book recommendation

How to Connect with Michael Bernoff

• Instagram: Find Michael at @michaelbernoff
• Book: Average Sucks (available at averagesucks.com or Amazon)
• Serious Inquiries:
  • Email: michael@burnoffmail.com
  • Text “influence” to 480-800-8051

Final Takeaways

• Communication shapes our reality—master your words, master your world.
• Use tailored frameworks to read and adapt to any audience.
• Identity is both a tool and an obstacle—consciously update it.
• Success lies in mastering both excitement and the mundane.
• Wealth is the freedom and control to spend your time, energy, and money as you choose.

For more tactical frameworks on communication, influence, and wealth-building, subscribe to Wake Up to Wealth and follow Michael Bernoff for next-level insights and implementation strategies.