Loading summary
Transcript254 lines
- [00:00]
A
When demand slowed for hydrojug, Amazon Ads rising star Hayden Wadsworth pivoted when our
- [00:05]
B
bank account hit near zero. My brother Jake and I had one last shot to save hydrojug. So we engineered the Traveler, a leak proof cup holder friendly tumbler. Amazon Ads enables a business to be able to expand their product shelf because of the visibility and the reach you can get each week. Our new to brand customers make up about 95% of all of our sales.
- [00:26]
A
Watch Hydrojug's story at advertising.Amazon.com Rising-stars AI
- [00:31]
B
is transforming customer service. It's real and it works. And with fin, we've built the number one AI agent for customer service. We're seeing lots of cases where it's solving up to 90% of real queries for real businesses. This includes the real world complex stuff like issuing a refund or canceling an order. And we also see it when FIN goes up against competitors. It's top of all the performance benchmarks, top of the G2 leaderboard. And if you're not happy, we'll refund you up to a million dollars, which I think says it all. Check it out for yourself at fin. AI. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch what Crap ins a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Normally Ronnie Caram would be here, but he is out today. So we have just an exquisite fill in today. The one and only comedian extraordinaire. Writer, comedian, very funny person. Ray Sonny is back. Hi, Ray, how are you?
- [01:49]
C
And thank you for having me. Been such a while. How have you been?
- [01:54]
B
I know it's. It has been a while. I have been. I've been really great. How's everything going in New York City?
- [02:01]
C
It's hot. So for your Patreon members, if I am, I am glistening. This is, this is New York City all on me.
- [02:10]
B
Okay?
- [02:11]
C
It's like everything. It's like 99 degrees. Taylor Swift is like clogging up Madison Square Garden. It's a weird time in New York right now.
- [02:20]
B
People are on top of the Empire State Building. It's just.
- [02:23]
C
I love that I was like. Was that like an attempt to like upstage Taylor because her ass like shut down. Like she, she pulled the Donald Trump from the Knicks game, basically. But she was even more crazy because she's holding up that area around Madison Square Garden for two days, like from today until like Saturday or Sunday, which is absurd. So I'm glad Everyone's talking about the Empire State Building and not her.
- [02:49]
B
I know. It's like, I think I almost would rather talk about the Great American State Fair at this point, which, by the way, I think is actually what's happening at Mass Square Garden. So, speaking of basics, today we're talking about the Valley. Everyone should go. By the way, before we do anything else, everyone must follow Ray on social media. Ray, tell everyone where they can find you. Because I want to say that you will never get funnier, more incisive, more truth telling takes than Ray when. When she's on social media, or even when you're not on social media. But, like, you are. So I love reading your hot takes, even when I don't even, like, align with them. I just love that you're like, this is how I feel. So tell everyone where they can find you.
- [03:40]
C
Nice, man. That's so nice. Because I'm feeling lonely. Summer house had me lonely. Okay. You can find me on. At raisoni87 on threads. That's mostly where I talk. I don't go on Twitter anymore.
- [03:54]
A
And.
- [03:55]
C
Yeah, and I'm on Instagram @raisoni87 as well.
- [03:59]
B
Yeah. You are really one of the funniest people. And I have to say, I think it was because of you that I started to change my mind on Porsche. All those years ago, you came onto this show and you were like, I am not a fan of Porsche. And I was like, what are you talking about? Porsche is great. And I mean, I, like, love Portia, but I feel like I'm much more critical of her because of you. Because I feel like you kind of, like, opened my eyes to some of, like, the Portia bullshit, you know, on Atlanta.
- [04:24]
C
I like her more all of a
- [04:25]
B
sudden
- [04:28]
C
than I have in a while because I think. I think, like, with Portia, she's like. She's starting to, like, she can't hide it, that this is so irrelevant to what we're talking about. But that scene with her and Dennis at the end of the episode a couple weeks back, I was like, look at Portia. She can't control the narrative any. Dennis came in and just, like, obliterated, like, what she wanted to do in that scene. And as long as I get to see that part of her, then I'll take the too, you know?
- [04:59]
B
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I. I was. I'm not even gonna go down that path because we're gonna get derailed, because today our mission is to talk about the Valley. Ray, you've been following. You've Been watching this season so far.
- [05:14]
C
I had watched the first, like, three episodes, and I don't know, I think I just got swept up in Summer House and I just, like, didn't care about the Valley. And then you hit me up and I, like, binged maybe, like, 10 episodes. And I was like, I am enjoying this. I'm actually enjoying this. I know the word around town is that this show sucks. And, like, I can understand the complaints, but I'm not as, like, upset with the show that we're getting is everyone else. But I had a great time.
- [05:41]
B
Yeah, I, I'm actually. I totally agree with you. I think this season's actually really good. It's not, you know, you don't have a big bad in the same way as Jax, although Danny has emerged as one. But I think it's kind of just showing, like, the. The warts of suburban decay, you know, and, like, just, like, living in, like, just you're past your prime now, you've got your kids, and, like, the happily ever after that you were hoping for is just, like, not there. You don't have the same body that you used to have. You're not as happy as you used to be. The party days are over, but you're clinging on. And like, that the sign when you
- [06:20]
C
need to sit down.
- [06:24]
B
It all sounds, like, kind of depressing, but I find it, like, fascinating because it's kind of real, you know, actually find it.
- [06:32]
C
I also find it very fascinating. And for me, this, like, contrast within the city, like, is really, like, enhancing my experience of both shows because I feel like I lived in Los Angeles for only, like, three years and a year and a half of that was the pandemic. So I didn't really live in Los Angeles. Like, you know, I never got to know the city, but I also know that New York is such a unique, specific place to live and a specific place to age. Like, I think both New York and LA have this, like, Peter Pan thing going on where you can be perma adolescent just because of, like, the lifestyle the city affords you or just the entertainment business in general, but the way they do. Peter Pan syndrome is so different. Like, Kyle is very immature, but his immaturity looks so different from Jesse Lollies, you know, And I think that that's, like, a product of the cities that they're in.
- [07:25]
B
I, I 100 agree. And I, I feel that way so much, like, because the people on in the city are having, like, they're, they're, like you said. What did you say? Like, permanent Adolescence or something. But it has, like, a different vibe. It's like a professional. They're still, like, professionals, and they're. They're in this city where they're going to, like, a kind of chic Indian restaurant for this, like, wedding thing. And they're all dressed in these, like, really nice tuxes and things like that, but they are all kind of still locked in a certain place in their life. But then, like, on the Valley, they're just kind of in this malaise of, you know, I don't even know what half the people do on the. On this. They just sort of are there.
- [08:05]
C
So crazy because, like, I like ADHD meds, so apologies if I get, like, too literary. But, like, there's an element of, like, they're literally over the hill in the Valley. Like, that is crazy. And, like, you're seeing that and, like is like, the epitome of such a thing. You know what I mean? And it's, like, fascinating to watch and, like, what's so interesting. And I'm still trying to figure out Danny and Nia, because I can't finger them, but, like, no finger, you know, Like. So the appeal to me about in the City is that New York City is a character on the. And ostensibly, everybody else is doing something other than just being a reality star. I mean, like, Lindsay and Kai, just reality stars. But they still, you know, sell me the idea that they're doing something other than being on tv, being themselves professionally. And so, like, there is an enthusiasm about the next chapter that I feel like they all are having. You know, these guys want to get married. Andrea wants a baby. Like, they're thrilled. Like, Lindsay wants to be a mom on the go, even as she still wants the home life. Whereas, like, it feels like everybody on the Valley is, like, doing what they're doing because, like, what they wanted to do is a far gone, like, conclusion, or it's like a possibility that doesn't exist anymore. Kristen Doty is not going to be a model. So here she is being a very distraught postpartum mom.
- [09:41]
B
You know, I often feel that way as well. I often feel like the cast on the Valley, like, their dreams have kind of escaped them in some weird way. Like, maybe Zach's dreams are still alive. Although I don't know really what Zach's dreams are. I'm not sure. Maybe it's to get back that monster fridge. But, yeah, it's. I do think the Valley is really good. And so let's, like, dive right back into it. So we're this is going to be. What is it? It's episode 14, Hips Don't Lie, season three. So I know it's like an affront to Shakira, but. And wclf, too. Let's. Let's just say it.
- [10:24]
C
Both offended. I'm offended, too. Danny's hips do lie. He'd be lying. He just be lying all the time.
- [10:32]
B
Hips. His hips literally lie. He's acting like. Let's not act like. This is Channing Tatum incarnate here. All he did was, like, sort of get down low on his knees.
- [10:44]
C
Mike is crazy. Like, what are we talking about here?
- [10:47]
B
Okay. Hi, everyone. We had some audio issues, in case you couldn't tell, and so adjusted the setup. And now hopefully there won't be any more clipping or anything. If you hear, like, the echo of my voice by accident, I apologize ahead of time. But, you know, this is just. It's a hot New York City day, and Taylor Swift has taken over Manhattan. So there's, you know, this is like Mercury. Mercury in retrograde.
- [11:08]
C
Yeah.
- [11:09]
B
You know, so I don't even remember where we were. We were just about to start the recap. I do, of course. Why start a recap when I can ask more questions before we start the recap? Because we're starting in the scene with everyone at this restaurant. I have to ask you, where do you stand on, like, the lightning rod of the season, like, or of the Valley in general? Where do you stand on Janet?
- [11:34]
C
You know, it's so interesting because I've been thinking about this a lot. I see that the Internet hates her, and I don't. I mean, I don't think she's interesting enough to hate as much as everyone does, you know? Yeah, I think so. I remember seeing that. Like, Ariana said, she's like, a wonderful person. Lala seems to really like her. And this is going to shock you, but my favorite character on this show is Michelle. And Michelle is really, like, close with Janet, too. So I'm assuming that there are good qualities in her. I love her husband. He is fine as fuck.
- [12:08]
B
Did you find? Right. I didn't know till midway through last season. But he's like. I honestly think he's like, one of the hottest guys on Bravo, if not the hottest guy. Right.
- [12:16]
C
But the thing is, you don't notice it because he's so classy and, like, dorky and nerdy and stuff. But it was like, I was like, oh, he broke his body doing basketball. I'm in love with this man.
- [12:27]
B
I noticed it from this first episode of the Entire series.
- [12:30]
C
I noticed that he was like, cute, but I didn't know that I wanted to suck his dick as much as Janet talks about doing it. So like I. So I was like, whoa. So if Jason loves her like he does and he doesn't, he's not like a henpecked husband. He like rides for his wife. I'm like, there must be some good quality about her. I think what I've concluded is that she's just terrible television and she's too emotional to move strategically on a show that requires strategy when you're in a group of veterans. So it's like, like I remember when she, in the first couple of episodes, like she was having these one on one chats and she like had no idea how to approach conversations. I'm like, this is your third season on the show. You mean to tell me you didn't anticipate production or production by way of Lala getting you to talk to these people?
- [13:25]
B
By way of Lala?
- [13:26]
C
By way of Lala and like getting you to talk to these people and you didn't plan out what you were going to say. You just showed up to Nia and was like, if you got something to say, say it to me. I'm like, girl, like, even if, even if I think that you're not entirely wrong, like you should have just had strategy. And she's so bad at the strategy part. So she doesn't to have an on camera fight and then she either shuts down or she says some really expensive shit that, that just like shuts down conversation or like makes her too lonesome to talk to and she's not charming enough otherwise to make me go, this is worth it. So like she was missing for like three episodes at the beginning of the season and I didn't give a. And that's a bad look for her. And like this show is very weird. I noticed I think maybe with the benefit of like binging so many episodes together. I saw it. But like there, it's like I can't tell the group dynamics. And I don't know if that's like a problem with the storytelling on the part of production or these people are like hiding their real relationships and stuff because like it wasn't until like two episodes ago where I figured out when I figured out where the friendships actually are because I'm like, like, why does Jasmine keep saying Zach is her best friend? That ain't true. And then here we have Britney and Jasmine saying that Mia and Kristen ain't actually that close. And I'm sitting here like, who's friends with whom? Because you would not be able to tell that Janet had good friends in the group if you were just watching the show. But it's clear that she's real tight with Michelle. She's real tight with. With Lala, and she has some, like, decent. Like, Zach keeps trying to, you know, play the TV game with her, but he likes her, too. So I'm just sitting, like, what is. Like, I can't tell whose fault that is. Is it them for not knowing how to assist production and telling their stories, or is it just like, production is not finding the proper.
- [15:20]
B
I think that's production. That's such an interesting thing. I never even thought about that with this show because it was sort of surprising when all of a sudden they started saying, like, well, Brittany, you've never really liked Nia. And I was like, really? I never realized.
- [15:32]
C
I didn't notice.
- [15:33]
B
I didn't notice. And I'm sure if you go back, there's like, breadcrumbs, like, oh, yeah. Like, it's. Know there was an issue in Santa Barbara where she was mad at Nia for covering for Danny when Danny was napping. But, like, you're right. Like, you don't really know where you stand with these people necessarily. There's not, like, necessarily, like, lines in the sand. But, like, this trip has kind of highlighted that there have been kind of, like two factions. There is the pro Janet faction, and we're getting more and more the side that's more like the Danny and Nia side, where you've got Kristen and you've got Jesse Lolly, and you've got Luke. And Luke, you know, but that is a. That's a really interesting point. And yeah, I. I really liked what you had to say about Janet. I think you're. I think you're totally spot on. I never understood, really, last year, why people seem to hate Janet as much as, like, Jax, if not more. I was like, I get misogyny.
- [16:25]
A
Come on.
- [16:25]
C
You know the answer to that.
- [16:27]
B
Of course, of course. But, like, I. I, like, I did feel like she was indelicate about, you
- [16:35]
C
know, delicate is the perfect word. Indelicate is the perfect word for that because it doesn't like, it doesn't. It doesn't castigate her. Right. It doesn't make her the bad guy. She's just indelicate. Like, she didn't handle it properly, but she wasn't wrong for wanting to handle it. Right. Yeah.
- [16:52]
B
Yeah. And I remember feeling like when she was saying when she, when they're on that boat and she was like, well, sexual assault. I remember thinking to myself like, the reason why it's like she's not winning this argument is a, because she sort of inserted, it was a different discussion that was happening on that boat and then she brought it in and that felt like she was pulling that out as almost like a card. But also like Janet just sort of has inherent like Karen energy. And so when she, when she like comes at you with like, here's my issue with you. Her tone and her presentation always has like a vibe of Karenism.
- [17:24]
C
Yes.
- [17:24]
B
That makes everything she says almost seem discredited in a weird way. Like she's going to call the manager on you. But like, if you get past that, it's like, you know, she wasn't. I actually was like last season, I mean I, I, I, I like to think that I, that I articulated that I was like, I, I kind of saw her POV last season. I don't remember. Like, I'm sure people listening be like, man, you never said that you were bandwagoning. But I always thought like when she was like, yeah, being in the pantry with Danny, that's weird. And even when Danny, Danny then was like, no, I went in there because I wanted to get a drink and I was behind the door so I had to close the door, I remember like being like, okay, well maybe he has a point, but.
- [18:08]
C
No, he does not have a point. He does not.
- [18:10]
B
Weird. It's weird.
- [18:12]
C
He's weird. And here's the thing, and I'm not gonna victim blame Jasmine, but she let the story get away from her as well. See my, actually I find Jasmine to be one of the more frustrating people on this cast. Like May maybe because unfortunately, because I don't know her from prior to this show, I have expectations for her. Like, I know Kristen Doody's terrible, I know everybody else is terrible, so. But Jasmine seems like, I won't say level headed because she's certainly not that. But she seems like a decently put together, well raised person. Right. So I keep like expecting her to be emotionally intelligent enough to like handle some of these things and she's clearly not. She's very stunted emotionally. I'm fine. She, she argues, very childish. But so for me, to me it sounds like Danny groped her fiance when she was, when he was drunk and she's not finished being mad about it, but she wants to be cool with the group so she's pretending she's done being mad about it and she's not. So it seeps out. And then it got out last time, and Janet hijacked it inadvertently, maybe, I don't know, hijacked Jasmine story. So Jasmine, to fit in with the group, had to back off of Janet a little bit. And so now, a year later, foolishly, she's realizing that everybody dismissed her black gay feelings about that. And now we're all fixated on Janet and Danny when me and my fiance's feelings are still hurt. And I'm salty doubly because y' all are all baby in this motherfucker and you obsessed with Janet. And now I gotta back off of Janet because y' all making it weird for me. It's like, what the fuck is going on here? So, like, Janet was indelicate, and she also usurped the victim story because the preview next week looks like she's gonna cry about her own sexual assault. And I'm like, girl, that didn't. This Danny, didn't happen to you. It had. It happened to Jasmine, and I think Melissa is her fiance's name.
- [20:14]
B
Yeah.
- [20:15]
C
So, like, it's just. It's all weird. Janet is Janet the Karen energy. I hear you totally. Because, like, I'm like, is this bitch allergic to an apology? Like, what is she doing? Like, she. There's just a tone. And, like, I'm a tone person. Like, you. You can't talk to me like that. Like, who are you talking to? So even when Nia's wrong, the way Janet be talking, it's like, girl, like, I think at one point at the table, she's like, and that's why you're in debt. $500,000 in debt to Jesse. I'm like, who was fucking talking about that? Why are you doing that? Like, usually on a. On a show on, like, reality tv, I have a character that's like, they got a point, but they be arguing wrong, and I still ride for them. But Janet has a point. She's arguing wrong, but she's not even likable enough for me to be like, damn, girl, I feel you. But she's not. Yeah, you're right. Indelicate is, like, the perfect word for her. The thing is, like, because she's so unlike and it shouldn't matter, right? Because, like, morals are morals, but because we're making a TV show, you. You gotta factor in likability as well.
- [21:19]
D
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. I needed some new furniture for my patio. And the first place I thought of was article. I have purchased from them before. I have bar stools from them, I have kitchen chairs from them. So I thought why not outdoor and they did not disappoint. I got the cutest rocker for my patio. It just arrived. They came, they put it together for me. It's so cute. I got the Medan outdoor rocking lounge chair in graphite and it is beautiful and comfortable. Thanks article.
- [21:53]
B
Yeah article is really great. They have curated collections for every style. They offer a curated range of mid century modern coastal scandi inspired pieces that not only shine on their own but also pair seamlessly with like really any other article product. The thoughtful design really makes it incredibly easy to mix and match and it just helps you create a space that feels cohesive and stylish.
- [22:15]
D
Article is great at curating a collection. They focus on high quality, meaningful pieces that stand the test of time and there's no filler. Every item is chosen for its craft, craftsmanship, design and lasting value.
- [22:26]
B
Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of a hundred dollars or more.
- [22:32]
D
To claim, visit article.com crappins and the discount will automatically be applied at checkout.
- [22:37]
B
That's article.com crappins for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.
- [22:46]
A
Hey, this is Paige from Giggly Squad. Summer is the busiest season and Abercrombie's active brand, your personal best, has everything I need to keep up with my schedule. I love a mix and match moment, so I'm obsessed with their YPB Studio Flex Active sets. They're so light and buttery soft. I'm wearing them every day from Pilates and outdoor walks on the weekend and brunch with the girls. Get your closet ready for a summer in motion shop. YPB by Abercrombie in the app, online and in stores.
- [23:18]
C
Sorry, I just like went on a rant.
- [23:20]
B
No, I, I'm, I'm, I, I'm enjoying, I'm enjoying your insight on this. I think it's great.
- [23:25]
C
Thank you. So I noticed, and I think this is the benefit of a binge as opposed to you watching week to week. I noticed that like around episode six or five. Right. All of a sudden they're pretending that Danny's drinking is not the problem, but how he acts when he drinks is a problem. Did you notice that shift? And it's like a big one. And it makes for a hard argument to have with Danny because now Danny doesn't have to admit he has a drinking problem. Now he gets the point out how everybody acts funny when they Drunk. But the problem isn't that people act up when they drunk. The problem is that you're an alcoholic and you turn into a monster. You specifically cannot handle alcohol. You specifically. They might have bad, shitty, drunk nights, but you are sneaking white claws in gyms of houses that you don't live in. My. Dude, like, you got an issue. You know what I mean? If.
- [24:21]
B
Yes, that's. That is the issue.
- [24:24]
C
It's like, I mean, Jesse Lolly has never. Jesse Lolly has never lied about being drunk on camera as far as we know. The. The fact that you, like, you have to lie about drinking on camera, and then you. And. And. And it doesn't even occur to you to just not drink, right? Like, it's not that.
- [24:45]
B
It does. It does occur to him. And when it does occur to him, he gets really grumpy about it. He gets really surly, and then he'll remind everyone, look at me. I'm not drinking anything. But I. I agree.
- [24:56]
D
I.
- [24:57]
B
We're gonna start this recap now. But what I will say. No, what I will say is it's a. It's an interesting nuance because Ron and I have a lot. Have had a lot of conversations about, like, it's not so much that he drinks. It's like his behavior when he drinks is. Is awful. So we have been a little bit more on the side of, like, it's the behavior more than the act. But the truth is he's an alcoholic. Not as black and white. It's not as black and white as that. Like. Like, he doesn't, like, his relationship with alcohol is, like, messy. Yeah. So, like, it's not as clean as, like, oh, drink as much as you want. But I think everyone's saying, like, don't hide your booze. If you're gonna drink, drink. But, like, also.
- [25:36]
C
But that's the wrong. That's the wrong argument, though, because their issue isn't whether or not he drinks or whether or not he's like that. That's. That's a. That felt like, to me, production. Danny and Nia went to production and said, these people are calling alcoholic on tv, and I'm not with it. And then Lala, being the production microphone, she started to alter her argument. And then all of a sudden you get Britney and Jasmine all being like, oh, my God, like, I don't care. Drink all you want. Drink all you want. Two episodes ago, you didn't want him to drink. Like, so what are we doing here? You know?
- [26:11]
B
Well, I think it's. It's a Way to insulate themselves from having the finger pointed back. Be like, what about you? Because everyone on this show gets shit faced and everyone has like, sort of like pops off and gets. It gets crazy. So by, you know, so they know that the first thing that Danny would say is, well, you get drunk and you get drunk and Zach has drunk. And it happens last week with Kristen. Sing it. That's actually literally how we enter this episode, but by sort of saying, okay, that point is off the table. We're not going to discuss that point. We're just going to discuss your behavior. But I've always said, Mike, Danny, you're like 48 years old, an aging character actor who appeared on the OC once, and now you, like, still don't know how to drink. Like, you're the person showing up at wine tasting. You showed up, like, late. So you have to, like, catch up. Like, are we 21? When do we. Why do we have to catch up? We're not doing that anymore. Okay? You've got 10 million children. You live in Santa Clarita. You're. There's nothing to catch up to at this point. So, like, what, him even doing that Last season, I was like, oh, you don't know how to drink. So he doesn't know how to drink. He. He drinks too fast, too fast, too much, too fast. And he outpaces everyone else. And when people outpace people when you're drinking, like, that's like an uncomfortable feeling for everyone else every single time. Anyone here who's listening, who has been in a social setting where someone is drinking faster than the rest of the table, we all know, we all give each other looks. We all are watching them because you're like, are we gonna have to take care of this person? What are they gonna do? How are they gonna act? And then no one can have fun in the same way. And that's what Danny does, in my opinion.
- [27:44]
C
And it's not just that he's outpacing them. It's also like. And this is just generally what happens with people who are problematic drinkers. There are people. There are people who, when they get drunk, they become heightened versions of themselves. There are people who get mean when they're drunk. And when you're the kind of person who instantly slips into rage once you've hit a certain point of, like, booze intake, you're a problematic drinker. And Danny doesn't. I've never watched an episode of this show and seen Danny drunk and be like, oh, he looks like he'd be Fun to be around. Like, he's always. And it's not just, like, loud rage. It's often, like, quiet, seething rage. And that, to me, is the sign of a problematic drinker. And like, Jesse Lolly, like, when Nia makes the comparison between Jesse Lolly, like, pretending to give Jason head on a. On a party bus, that's not the same kind of too drunk as, like, rage. Danny on his wife, refusing to move his feet on the. You know what I mean? And, like, everybody's, like, eliding and conflating things that are just, like. They're not the same. And I know y' all know what problematic drinking looks like. I mean, we all know.
- [28:56]
B
We all know, but I love your use of a lighting. I mean, come on. But, yeah. And I. You know what? Don't you also feel like if Danny had a track record of being a really, really fun drunk? This may sound kind of problematic, but don't you feel like if he had a track record of being, like, a super fun drunk, that, like, if he put his hand on, like, Melissa's thigh and said, bring daddy a drink, don't you think it would have landed differently? I know that sounds really bad because it's, like, personal space violation, personal space, whatever. But, like, when someone's a problematic drinker and they invade your personal space like that, it feels ickier than when you have an. If you have a relationship where you're saying that kind of stuff to each other all the time and you get drunk and you say those things, right?
- [29:40]
C
Yeah, absolutely. And, like, I don't get the sense that any of anybody besides Jesse and Nia, like, Danny sober. So if I don't even like you sober and, you know, fun when you drunk, like, you. You don't get to touch my girl's ass. Like, what are we doing here? You know what I mean?
- [29:55]
B
Yeah, exactly. Okay, so let's dive into. The listeners are like, are you guys gonna start the recap? But, you know, like, this stuff has to be discussed at all times. This is why I think the Valley is good, because it's like, we are, like, every episode, we are debating this stuff because it makes you, like. Like, it gives you a reaction. I think the worst reality shows are the ones where you have no reaction to them whatsoever. You just watch it, and then you move on with your life. And this one, we are all fired up, and we might be angry. We might say, it's dark, but at least we're like, we're feeling something. So where we're picking up Is we're still at that lunch where basically, you know, Janet and Nia are. And. And Kristen are having. And Jesse and Michelle are all there. And Kristen's like, well, why don't you, like, like, what about, like, Britney and Zach and Jasmine? What about their drinking? And then of course, Janet right away just starts texting them and is like, you guys have no idea. Kristen just said, you guys are, like, murdering people and you're problematic and you should be canceled by America.
- [30:52]
C
See, this is why I'm like, this needs to be better tv. Because how amazing would it be if she was like. And I just told them what you said at the table instead of, like, quietly saying storm and then, like, telling them later, like, if she. If she sat there like a boss bish and was like, see how you talking about your friends? See, this is why I don't. With y' all at this table. Something like that. She don't have to say, like, me. She's not from Brooklyn. But I mean, like, if she.
- [31:16]
B
If she said, like, it. That would be very funny.
- [31:18]
C
It would be very la la of her.
- [31:19]
B
She said it like, yeah, it would be.
- [31:22]
D
But.
- [31:23]
C
But, like. But she's like, in, like, she's whatsapping people in. In Mexico.
- [31:28]
B
Like, he is still trying to be on best behavior. I think she's afraid to pop off on people. And actually, like, my favorite moment of hers of the whole season was when Luke was, like, lecturing her at that awful James Bond party. And then finally Janet just said, I don't have to know Charles Manson to know that he's a psychopath. And I was like that. I, like, laughed so hard. I was like, this is the Persona I want Janet to lean into, to be like, you know what? All of you people, okay, I'm sick of it.
- [31:56]
C
And also, I'm. I guess, but, you know, like, you know me. I love a villainess. So I'm just kind of like, why the audience already hates you, girl. Just do you. Like, she's still trying to, like, hedge and, like, trying to see if she can get people on her side. Girl, they don't like you. You. Two seasons in, it took people. I was a. I was team Katie maloney from season one. Nobody liked my girl until season 14 or some like this. So just. Just be yourself. You know what I mean? Like, you can't. You can't convince people that you're likable. You just gotta be likable. And part of being likable is being yourself, you know?
- [32:37]
B
Well, maybe she's, like, afraid of not people not wanting to film with her, you know?
- [32:40]
C
Yeah.
- [32:41]
B
I mean, but she's got Brittany, she's got Michelle, she's got people. Yeah, so, so she's sitting there crying and he is like, oh, she's crying from self induced things. Like she put herself in this position. And Jesse's like, well, you can hear the heart truth and be like, I up, I'm sorry. Which is very rich coming from Jesse, who I feel like does not like.
- [33:02]
C
He's never apologized authentically in his life, has he?
- [33:05]
B
No, no, no. So Janet's outside, she's speaking to Jason on the phone, Hot Jason. And she's just saying how this has brought up so many like, feelings she doesn't want to talk about. And she's like crying and you know, she's obviously, obviously she has stuff in her past that she's triggered by. But then of course, who do you want to hear? Who do you want to come console you in these moments? None other than Tom Schwartz, who I still don't understand why he is on the show this season. And he comes over just like, oh, oh, hey, Janet. Oh God. Do you have anxiety? I mean, she's sitting here crying, crying on a cobblestone street in the middle of Mexico. And he's like, do you have anxiety? Like, get the fuck out of here.
- [33:50]
C
I, I, I like, I like the attempt. I like the attempt. I like that he didn't let herself. Because you know what? I love Michelle, but what's disappointing me about her is that she also is not brave enough to just be like, I fuck with Janet, so leave her alone. And so she's like, she's not, you know, she's not taking the best friend step forward that she needs to. So I appreciate that somebody, Tom went out there and was. Tom knows how to make a TV show. He been around for long enough, you know what I mean? He's like, okay, guys, we can't leave the girl outside crying by herself. She's the source of conflict. Let's just make her comfortable enough to be in the room.
- [34:29]
B
You know, he's like, we can pour a drink on her head, but we can't leave her alone.
- [34:33]
C
You know, we can cheat on her,
- [34:35]
B
but yeah, do all those things. I mean, I do think that Michelle has become more and more strident in her defense of Janet. She started to actually say more specifically, like she's become more full voice over the course of even just this episode about like what Janet is like, like bothered by and how she's feeling and her feelings towards Danny. I mean, she literally says in, like, not to. In just a few moments, she's like, everyone has an issue with Danny, you know, and like, she's kind of like, yeah, Danny sucks, you know?
- [35:02]
C
Yeah. So that's another thing I could. I didn't notice. Weren't they positioning Michelle and Nia as best friends the first season? At the. At the very least, the first season. Right. So I'm like, are me. Are Michelle and Nia not friends anymore? Has Michelle always hated Danny? Like, where are these friendships, you know?
- [35:21]
B
Yeah, I'm not sure. I don't even remember, like, where Nia fit in with the group in season one in terms of. In terms of all those things. But I think, like, it's. It's clear that I'm sure that as Jesse has gravitated towards Danny and Nia, that has probably made Michelle feel a certain sort of way about. About those two as well. Wow, you're. You're befriending my ex husband.
- [35:45]
C
That's true.
- [35:45]
B
Maybe.
- [35:45]
C
I mean, she's. She's lowkey. She's lowkey refriending as ex husband, too. She's all flirting with him, all episode complaining about affection. I'm like, girl, why? See, look, she got attachment issues just like I do. How come when you finally get divorced, that's when you start liking the. What's going on here?
- [36:02]
B
I know I am. I like, I do love that. Like, the strange twist of this whole thing is that Michelle Lolly winds up dating Dr. Dre. Like, I like, that's, like, the twist that I know that, like, Dr. Dre has not been very. He's not been very good to the women in his life. So I don't approve of that, but I, I approve of the concept of Michelle Lolly winding up with, like, a superstar.
- [36:26]
C
What's so crazy about it is it's like, okay, it's so already a reality TV realtor is dating a billionaire, a famous billionaire, and he's also a rap billionaire. Like, what the. Like, what about Michelle says, I'm a. I'm a data rap legend. That is so crazy.
- [36:45]
B
It doesn't make any sense. Whatso smile.
- [36:49]
C
Can you imagine her bopping her head to a Dr. Dre beat? Like, that's crazy.
- [36:54]
B
Walking down the street
- [36:59]
C
with her staccato ass boys. She's crazy.
- [37:01]
B
I know her.
- [37:02]
C
She's my favorite. I don't know why. I just love her. I think she's just like, so. I'm a very emotional person, and I'm also, like, not Like, I have poise sometimes, depending on the situation, but I'm not cool at all. I'm not cool, girl. I'm not cool. And there's just something, like, aloof about Michelle that I wish I could just, like, take that quality of hers. Like, she obviously gives a. But she looks like she never gives a. And then it's like, it feels more precious when you see some vulnerability with her. Like, she's strategically being open with Tom Schwartz. She's discussing her mom more. She's talking about her feelings about her divorce. And I'm like, this is great, you hypocrite ass bitch. You had your man all around Jesse, but you and your feelings and keep going. Keep going. I like this.
- [37:49]
B
Yeah. I just love how it's gonna make Jesse. I just love the Dr. Dre of it all for how it's gonna make Jesse feel like. Like, it just. I love how small it's gonna make Jesse feel, especially since you.
- [38:02]
C
You can tell, like, the minute. See, I don't understand why Michelle gave him that much, but maybe she knows she's making good tv. When she was like, you know, you never gave me physical touch, and you never showed me affection. It hurts my feelings to see you do that with Lacey. And Jesse's in the confessional, like, well, she's just gonna have to deal with it the way I like. He felt so empowered. So I love that there's a TMZ press release where it's like, oh, yeah, I'm dating a billionaire, you broke, bitch.
- [38:35]
B
So. So Michelle is. It happens right here where Kristen's like, listen, I understand feeling anxious, and you need to walk away, but why does she keep doubling down? Because now they're angry at Janet for walking away. I do. Janet would not walk away. I hate actually when reality stars in general walk away, because that's, like, what the real life person would do. Like, in real life, you walk away from. But on. On reality tv, I want you to sit there, especially because I do feel almost like what you were saying. I do feel like Janet has the raw tools to actually shut everyone down, but she's, like, too afraid to use them. And I think she's too afraid of looking like a huge. She's too afraid of, like, people not wanting to film with her. She's. Or she's. Maybe she just knows. She's like. She's not good at it, certain things. And she will say something really bad that's gonna haunt her, like the, like, bringing up sexual assault on that boat. So she does just sort of walk away. Maybe her therapist told her to do that. Who knows? But now they're like, well, why does she just keep on doubling down? And Michelle's like, but what about everyone else? Everybody has a problem with Danny. Everybody does. And he is like, well, that's a big statement. It's not true.
- [39:44]
C
And there's literally a whole villa of people talking about D right now.
- [39:50]
B
Let me tell you something. I said it last year on the podcast. I said that production was protecting Danny. And then last year, the first year, the very first episode, I famously was like, nia is evil. I don't know if Nia is evil, to be honest. I feel like I'm still waiting for her to be actually evil, I think. But I do think that she is covering for evil. And I always knew that because the very first episode, when she referred to Dany as Daniel, I was like, there's some going on here. Why everyone calls him Danny, but you call him Daniel. It's like, you have to say that to him because, you know, like, he gets crazy. Right?
- [40:24]
C
Yeah.
- [40:24]
B
You have to almost have, like, this maternal, like.
- [40:27]
C
Yeah. When your mom uses your full name to get you to sit down. You know what I mean? And. But also, you know, like. Like, this is like, an extreme example, but, like, fascists have wives, too. You know what I mean? Like. Right. Like, you know, like, in some circles, Melania's beautiful. She don't say, but she's pretty. And I mean, that's what Mia is like for Danny. You know what I mean? But she actually is evil because she doesn't just, like, oh, she doesn't let Lala fight for her. Right. She takes it up as her duty to protect her man against people who call out his abusive language. You know what I mean? So it's like you're participating in your. Your own abuse, and then you're helping him do too much with other people. So she is evil in that she abets him. Well, she's a. She's an accomplice after the fact is what she is.
- [41:23]
B
You know, so. So then Nia's. Nia's saying, look, there's nothing wrong with Daniel standing up for himself, but that makes everybody, quote, unquote, uncomfortable. And this general word is uncomfortable. It's just, like, ridiculous. The fact that Nia and. And I almost had Daniel, the fact that Nia and Danny still don't understand what everyone means by uncomfortable. In fact, every time someone's ever. The cast keep. They keep on saying uncomfortable because they're being polite to be like he's annoying. We think he's shitty to you, we think he's an alcoholic, he doesn't know how to drink like the rest of us. And he's handsy. That's like what they're really saying with the word uncomfortable. But Nia is only. All. I think all that Nia hears with uncomfortable is like, me is probably just like, like a sexual pervert. I think that's what she's hearing. Yeah, it's actually much more than that.
- [42:14]
C
Well, it, but, but it also is that. And that also should matter too, right? And so like the way that she's dismissive of uncomfortable makes me, you know, like when, like it'll be. It's very church of them where like you say that like the pastor is inappropriate with the, the congregate, the women in the congregation. You're just like, oh come on. He's just, just like. She's, she's, she's, she knows exactly what the accusation is. That's why Danny's still so mad. They know exactly what the accusation is. They don't like it. And so now they're trying to make you wrong for noticing that he's sexually inappropriate. But she knows what the accusation is because when she brought up the comparison to Jesse at Lally, she specifically chose a moment where he was simulating oral sex on someone. Right? Or later in the episode when she tells him not to, to, to move his hips. That's not why people are uncomfortable. But you specific she's. They as church going, faith based people, they are obsessed with the sex of it all. And they're thinking of it in terms of like lasciviousness, like perversion, like you said, when it's just about boundaries altogether.
- [43:22]
B
And that's the thing is that like, I don't think everyone necessarily thinks, oh, Danny is going to come up and put his hands on me. But what the, the thing is I, that when no one really knows what he's gonna do, right? Like, is Danny about to become really grumpy? Are we gonna have to like mollify him? Are we gonna have to sit there and watch him speak badly to Nia? And then like, what do we do in those situations? Are we supposed to intervene? Are we not supposed to intervene? And then you're like, again, you're just like not having fun. It's like right now all your attention is like, how do I like interact with the situation? What will happen to me? What will I have to take care of him? Will we have to take care of him? Am I. Not to lie on behalf of. If I see something.
- [43:59]
C
It's every, it's like every, every angle of like patriarchal misogyny. It's like he takes it on every part of it. It's the condescension towards women. It's the, it's the, sorry, an ambulance sounds of New York. I apologize. Okay, but it's like, it's like the, it's the condescension towards women. It's the like demanding your wife behave according to her religious wifely duties in public, but you can talk to her anyhow. You can disrespect in the friend group. And also maybe you might grow too, because that's also part of it. Like, it's not just sexual, but it also is sexual. And then it's all the other parts of misogyny as well. He's just a misogynist. He just. And it's like, I'm sure the other guys on the cast are too, but he doesn't, he doesn't even dare to hide it. It's just this performance of old school patriarchy, like, encased in religiosity. And it's like, it, it's, it's, it's like. So it's like a specific brand of like obnoxious male. And then you add alcohol on top of that and it just explodes it from every angle. Like, that's crazy. I, I couldn't imagine being. And I'm like, they. And the show has yet to show me like a good quality about him. He's not a good father. That's another part of the patriarchal. He's not a good hands on father. He doesn't, he's not funny. Like, what, what am I.
- [45:20]
B
To me, what? Definitely not fun. That's the biggest offense. He's not funny. End of the list right there.
- [45:26]
C
I'm like, these, I'm like, oh my God, these childish vax vasectomy jokes are terrible. You always talking about fudgeing when your wife's trying to have a serious conversation with you. It's like, it's like he's like the worst trope of like a 90s or an 80s, like sitcom husband. Like, he's just, he's just like, it's so true.
- [45:45]
B
It's so true. Yeah, I think, I think he, his first season, he got like a really great edit. You know, he was just seen as this really nice guy. He doted on Nia, taking care of the kids. And I wonder if he just sort of assumed he would still keep getting that edit and was not expecting probably all he got comfortable maybe with that edit. And so he probably just assumed all this behavior that's happening now maybe wasn't going to make it to the final show.
- [46:11]
C
And here's another, here's another thing about like not knowing how to do the tv. And it was so when he said last week, well, this is my first rodeo trying to present. He don't know what he's doing, but he also don't know what he's doing. I don't understand for the life of me why Danny and Nia have not figured out that they need to be maneuvering differently to protect their image. They insist on doubling down on protecting an image that we already know don't work. So why not like move around it? I'm, I'm starting to be like, what is the benefit of y' all being on the show unless you need the money? Because there's nothing that the last two seasons have done to improve his image with the public even as he's trying to have a front facing job or a voiceover job. I have never cared any. I don't care about her pageant life. They don't seem happily married. They aren't showcasing their faith well. They're not showcasing their parenting well. They're like, what is the benefit for either of them on this show? I don't get it. They like and Nia seems to be trying to control the image, but I just don't understand why they are unable to pivot. They just seem to be doubling down on. You guys are terrible for not buying our. As opposed to like trying to finesse around it, you know, commercials.
- [47:17]
B
Here comes one right now.
- [47:24]
C
We all belong outside. We are drawn to nature. It calls to us. Whether it's the recorded sounds of the ocean we doze off to or the succulents that adorn our homes, nature makes all of our lives richer, calmer, and frankly, better. Despite all this, we often go about our busy lives removed from it. But the outdoors is closer than we realize. With Alltrails, you can discover trails nearby or trails worth traveling to and explore confidently with offline maps and on trail navigation. Whether you're looking for a laid back, walk with family or something more adventurous to get your heart pumping, Alltrails gives you the tools you need to get out there and find your outside. Download the free, free app today and make the most of your summer with Alltrails.
- [48:22]
A
Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Abercrombie's latest drop is basically my current Summer obsession. It's just a lineup of those key pieces that make getting dressed feel easier. The Sloan tailored pants is my go to when I want something a little more polished. And the Dylan dress is that effortless piece you can throw on and still feel put together. Their matching sets instantly make any plan feel styled. And their everyday denim is just the foundation for literally everything else.
- [48:47]
D
Else.
- [48:48]
A
It all feels really wearable, elevated, and easy to repeat, which is exactly what I want right now. Keep up with the pace of summer without overthinking it. Shop in the app, online, and in stores.
- [49:03]
B
So now we go over to. We go over to the other group and Zach and Benji are in the pool with others, and Lacy makes her arrival. So Zach comes out of the pool. I'm just always amused by Zach because when he's really happy, he's so. Starts like his body language turns into a toddler. Like, he has his hands out like this sort of like one is to like. His left hand is sort of like pointing to like, sort of like to 10 o'. Clock. The other one's like 1 o' clock or something like that. And he just comes forward to her like, mommy. And so he. He loves Lacy. And so she has arrived. And what do you think about Lacy? Because Lacy. Lacy surprised me. I thought she would be like, awful, awful, awful. But I don't. I don't. I don't dislike her as much as I thought I would. I thought. I kind of think that, like, I do kind of like that she shits on Jesse all the time.
- [49:50]
C
Yeah. So I'm. I'm curious about that dynamic, though, because. So if you. If you think these things about him, why are you with him? See, I don't get it. That's why I don't get. You know what I mean? But Michelle was married to him for a long time too, so maybe he'd just be getting bad. Who. Maybe he's good in bed. Is that what it is?
- [50:11]
B
Nah, I don't. I don't believe that. I. I feel like maybe. I feel like Lacey likes him, but she knows that the audience generally does
- [50:21]
C
not like she's very.
- [50:23]
B
So I think she's savage. She's like, I'm gonna on him too, because I know the audience will like that. And that's almost like the difference between her and Nia, what you were just talking about, like, Lacey. If. If my theory is true, Lacy has like, an awareness of, like, this is how I. I would manage my appearance on reality tv, you know, like, she has the savviness in a way that, like, India do not have.
- [50:43]
C
But. But Jesse is more willing to concede points, maybe because he's the broke one in the relationship, but he's willing to concede points that Danny is never willing to concede. Danny, if. If you said. If Nia said, no, my name is Nia. And he's like, your name's not Nia. And she's like, she'll have to say at some point, okay, fine, my name's not Nia. Because Danny does not bend at all. Not. It's crazy.
- [51:05]
B
Well, they'd have some sort of, like, therapized, like, like quasi therapy, quasi pastor talk where it's like, daniel, I'd like to talk to you about how you are acting out right now. And I feel like when you said, my name is not Nia, that was a feeling that made me not like it. And he'd be like, well, do we
- [51:22]
C
have to talk about this right now?
- [51:24]
B
But then, now we go over to Luke and Britney, and they are. And Lala, too. They're releasing baby turtles into the ocean,
- [51:33]
C
which is so cute. Cute.
- [51:35]
B
It is really cute. But also think about. Imagine you're a baby turtle. And like, one of the very first things you have to see in life are like, these three, like, Lala, Britney and Luke. It's like, ah. Like, this is the searing image you take with you as you go into the Pacific.
- [51:48]
C
Britney's voice as the first noise you hear is crazy.
- [51:53]
B
The turtles just think it's her mom. The turtles are just going back to following Britney mama. So they. They go out, they survive. And then we go back to now the other group, like the Janet group. And now they're shopping and they go into this, like, little clothing shop and they've got, like, lots of cute things in there. And Jesse and Michelle are having this, like, really nice scene. They're, like, sort of shopping for Isabella, trying to pick things out. And they're. They're actually like, not at each other's necks. So then they get to the cash register and Michelle is like, this is very nice. I like that we're not fighting. He's like, yeah. So she's like, like, now I'm going to ruin it. Like, that's my favorite thing is I'm happy we're getting along because these were the ways that we usually don't get along. And then now it's like, it turns into a fight again. So I.
- [52:45]
C
The thing I noticed was when she asked him, I was like, oh, my God, this man really is as Broke, as she's saying he is. Because when. When. When she's like, what are you going to get Isabella? He was like, oh, I thought I was going to get her something cheesy from the airport. I was like, oh, this man don't want to spend no money.
- [53:01]
B
Yeah. Nothing. And you know, he's gonna. Now that Dr. Dre is in the picture, he is gonna be totally abdicating any sort of funding for any responsibilities. Like, Dr. Dre can buy it. That's what his mind.
- [53:13]
C
He doesn't have a bed. His baby mom is dating a billionaire, and his current girlfriend is, like, wealthy off a divorce. I mean, he. For. For a hobo sexual. That's like the. The best case scenario.
- [53:27]
B
It actually. It is really good. And he's also gonna be. He's also also, you know, he's gonna be so much nicer to Michelle now. So that way he can, like, get in with Dr. Drew.
- [53:34]
C
Yeah.
- [53:34]
B
And then he can have the cred.
- [53:36]
C
He wants to use his connections for his realty Rolodex. Absolutely.
- [53:41]
B
Yeah. And I'll be Start. He'll start talking about, like, Dre. He'll be like, Dre and I. Yeah, if you know he will, because I know I would be. I like, yeah, of course. Our. So. So that they're by. So then Michelle's basically like, you know, it's not easy on me. It's a little awkward for me to see you so affectionate and kissing her right in front of me because I have feel and it feels weird. And he's like, you have to remember I had to watch you and Aaron kiss in front of me. And I mean, he has. I feel like, just like, you know, like you guys were making out in front of me too, that, you know, like, at some point, you have to just, like, get over this.
- [54:17]
C
Yeah.
- [54:17]
B
I do think it's a little bit of a different situation because last year she was with Aaron, but Jesse was with Lacy. So they both had booze even if Lacy wasn't physically there.
- [54:27]
C
And Lacy was sending to see exists too.
- [54:29]
B
You know. That's right. Yeah. And I don't know. Like, I also feel like as far as all the crying that Jesse did and all the ayahuasca journeys and, like, men's mental health groups went in, I feel like Michelle, even though she was the one who left, I feel like Michelle is the one who feels like her dreams were shattered. More like she had to give up on her dream of this marriage and. And leave because it was. She was so miserable. So I Can sort of see she
- [54:56]
C
had to Pay, you know, $15,000 to get this man to sign a paper like this. Like, and. And I didn't, you know, because she's so guarded a lot of the times, like, I did forget that her mom was. Had died in while she was going through the divorce. And being on tv, like, that's really hard. But, you know, when. When people are guarded, you sort of don't give them the grace that. That they might need.
- [55:24]
B
You know, I also think that, like, yeah, it may have been hard for him to watch her with Big Eye Aaron. But, like, if she's putting in the requests, I think it's like, okay, like, she's saying, look, I. It's hard for me. Like, it doesn't have to be, like, equal. She says, it's hard for me to watch you guys. Can you at least like, like, respect that?
- [55:42]
C
I think especially since she has beef with the, with the woman too. Like, yeah, you know, because for me, like, whatever, I've never been married or whatever, but, like, like, if. If my man is beefing with his child's mother, don't show me the text messages where she's talking about me. You know, if you're not going to facilitate a sit down when we come together, do not show me that she's calling me ugly. You did that for what? You want me to be on your side and against her. That's why you did that. You didn't do that for any. Any good reason. You know what I mean? So I think that Lacy's, like, seeing that Jesse, he is not helping the situation. So she's giving Michelle grace.
- [56:23]
B
Yeah, yeah, exactly. So now they go over to the beach, and Tom goes up to. Janet is like, are you crying again? She's like, no, no, I'm. I'm good. I'm. I'm enjoying the ocean. As if Janet's gonna just like, like, yes, I am crying. And let me, like, tell you all my issues. Tom Schwartz person who could, like, give me some insight. So they. Now. Now it's sort of like a silly scene because it's like they decide that they're gonna go skinny D. And Kristen tells us when our group of friends goes and travels, especially when there's, like, a beach and an ocean present, we would do, like, what any other fun adult would do and take our tops off. I forgot all about my postpartum body, because there's nothing better than shaking your tatas and fresh water.
- [57:08]
C
I mean, I. I want to shake my titties in fresh water.
- [57:10]
B
Too, to be honest, I. I don't want to because my titties are way too big for. For my liking right now. I.
- [57:18]
C
I mean, Kristen feels the same way too.
- [57:20]
B
You know, her titties are. Her titties are. Are luscious at the moment. And unfortunately, mine are about the same size, so.
- [57:27]
C
Oh, come on, man.
- [57:30]
B
I've got little man boobies. It's so disappointing. But I'm like. I've got like. I'm like, skinny but with man boobies. It's like the worst combination. You know, I feel like if I were like, huy.
- [57:41]
C
Yeah.
- [57:41]
B
I mean, if. If I were husky with man boobies, then it's like, okay, it matches the general, like. Like, sort of like, shape and proportions. But when you're like, skinny but with man boobs, it's like, literally the worst combination. This shirt is never coming off again. Okay. Tell you that much. So, yeah, Nia, by the while, this is all happening while, like, as Michelle takes off her top and she's running around, she's frolicking, and Nia has gone and bought, like, some coconuts to drink out of, and she's like, wow, I thought I was being adventurous by getting coconuts. And, like, part of me feels like she really believed that she was like, guys, look at how wacky I am. I bought a coconut off of a vendor. Isn't this crazy? I'm fun, Nia.
- [58:24]
C
Exactly. So I can imagine how sexy that magic mic shift. You think coconuts are exotic? Ain't she Mexican?
- [58:32]
B
She said she's partially Mexican.
- [58:34]
C
I think she's thrilled about a coconut girl.
- [58:38]
B
I mean, I got thrilled about very pedestrian things myself, but I. I feel like this is truly like a beacon for her right now. Like a beacon from Santa Clarita. By the way, I'm going to Santa Clarita tomorrow, which is crazy
- [58:51]
C
town than they make it seem. I've been there for vacation before, too.
- [58:55]
B
Wait, I'm a little surprised. Wait, you went to Santa Clarita for vacation?
- [58:58]
C
Yeah. It was not like a. It was just a weekend when I lived in la. My college friend who's from la, she was just like, oh, let's just go to a bar. Let's go to a beach town or something like that. Was it Santa? Is it Santa Clarita or Santa Barbara, maybe? Santa Barbara.
- [59:11]
B
I think you got it wrong. There's no beach in Santa Clarita. Santa Clarita is north and inland. It is, like, bounded by mountains and,
- [59:17]
C
like, why are you going to the mountain range?
- [59:23]
B
I'm I'm going to. I'm going to a petting zoo. Don't ask. It's. Well, don't ask.
- [59:30]
C
Have fun.
- [59:31]
B
Thank you. Naturally, I'm just going to Danny and his house, us. So now we're back at the hotel, everyone's getting ready, and the party tonight is. This is for Zach's birthday party because it's going to be a trio birthday party. So tonight's birthday party is for Zach and it is. The theme is slutty era. And Jesse says for him, that was the late 90s and early 2000s. And Lacey's like. I was gonna say early 70s. Pause for laughter. So then she. She's asking about, like, Janet and everything, and Jesse's saying, like, well, she went and ran away as usual. She goes, did she play track and field? Because the girls got some sprint paws for laughter. So anyway, Janet sent a text that was something along the lines of, Kristen is throwing Jasmine, Zach and Britney under the bus with Danny to defend Danny, but this is how far she's, like, taking it. So. So then we cut over to the other suite where Britney's like, in the mirror, she's like, oh, put my makeup on. And this now. Now where they are all about to learn about this. This text message or whatever. So. So just Janet is, like, saying how she didn't have a good time with everyone. And Michelle's like, well, Jesse, Janet, Nia and Kristen and Tom, we all went to lunch and so we were all talking and it was very heated and they put all the blame on her onto Janet. And Janet's like, yeah, yeah. Because, like, if we're going to start talking about people's drinking, she was like, we should probably start with Britney, Jasmine and Zach. And now, of course, they're like, what? What are you saying? And. And Britney just gets this look because she's, like, sitting on the floor doing her makeup. And, like, Britney's facial expressions are so extreme. She's like an emoji. And so she has this, like, big smile on for no reason.
- [61:22]
C
And those eyebrows do a lot of work.
- [61:25]
B
They do. And then all of a sudden it just. Just, like, totally goes upside down. And she was like, what?
- [61:30]
C
But why?
- [61:31]
B
But like, Kristen, I'm like, she just,
- [61:33]
C
like, literally said I was her number one.
- [61:35]
B
And we see a clip, like a flashback of last week or two weeks ago when Kristen did actually say, you're my number one.
- [61:41]
C
Yeah, she did.
- [61:43]
B
But I am kind of enjoying. I'm actually enjoying Britney a lot this season, and I'm enjoying her after her breakup from this guy because I feel like she just of sort seems something broken her a little bit. And it's almost like her optimism broke a little bit and she's just a little saltier in the past few episodes. And I'm kind of digging how she's been talking about Danny and Nia just because. Not because I'm like, oh, let's have another person pile on to Danny and Nia. I'm just enjoying that she's. It seems like it's coming from like a little bit of like an authentic place for her. Whereas Brittany can sometimes be so bubbly, you know, Know.
- [62:19]
C
Well, so also too, I think Britney in a relationship, whether it's happy or not, is like really infantilizes herself or, or, or ages herself down a little bit. And like without Jax and without what's his name, Brandon, we see her have like grown up opinions and grown up feelings, as opposed to like staying giddy when she's around Brandon or, like helpless when she. With Jack, it's like, okay, now we see her as a woman. She's by herself and she's having adult feelings and she's articulating them adultly. Even like, the way she's handling Jesse, I don't think she would be talking this way if Jax were still around, you know?
- [63:01]
B
Exactly. So meanwhile, in the other suite, Danny and Nia are sitting around and neither. They're sharing stories from their respective days. And Nia's basically like, yeah, so Michelle said that you make everyone uncomfortable when you drink. And I was like, can you be specific? And they couldn't get me specifics. And daddy's like, I am laughing because everybody was like, nobody cares that you drink. Nobody cares. I'm like, yeah, but you're getting the wrong takeaway here. What they're trying to say is you act crazy, you act weird, you act annoying, you. You say demeaning things. And the thing is this. I was trying to, like, in my mind, I was like, I was building a case of like, why, why, why is Danny, as I say, like, on Passover, why is this night different from all other nights? It's like, why is Danny different from all the other drunkards on this show? It's because when they pop off, they are almost always reacting to something, whereas with him, he's initiating belligerent behavior. Like, he is the one getting the ball rolling on negativity.
- [64:03]
C
But also like, like, I hate this because Danny and they are playing dumb. They know exactly what the issue is. They're playing like they don't know what the issue is or they're trying to sh. That no one can have an argument with them about the issue. The issue is Danny is a problem drinker. Okay, maybe everybody else is a problem drinker, but the issue is that you are a problem drinker. We can talk about that other stuff later, but you are a problem drinker. We don't like your behavior today and every other day, but you keep deflecting. You keep trying to have a different conversation, but you got to have the com. And it's also, it's almost like watching Love island. And you see the girls hear the part of the conversation that they want to hear when the boy said I was to going to explore, but you heard the part where you have nothing to worry about. You know what I mean?
- [64:48]
B
And so I haven't even talked about Love Island. Oh, I. I don't even know. It's a lot happening.
- [64:53]
C
Crazy.
- [64:53]
B
It's crazy. But.
- [64:55]
C
But it's like, so like Danny keeps hearing, you can explore. You can explore, you can drink. You can drink. But.
- [65:03]
B
Right.
- [65:04]
C
No, like, you don't, you're not supposed. Don't go explore.
- [65:07]
B
Yeah. They're not saying to Danny, we want you to drink. They're saying, don't hide that you're drinking.
- [65:13]
C
Right?
- [65:14]
B
Like you're gonna do what you're gonna do. We're not gonna control you drinking. But you have to know that when you drink, you're deeply unpleasant to be around and we all don't like it. And you're the only one who acts this way. So maybe you should consider your relationship with alcohol. Like, that should be his takeaway, but instead his takeaway is like, wow, I can't believe they all sat around and said, we don't care about your drinking. But then you got, then Michelle says that they actually all do care about my drinking. And his takeaway is actually that they're all very fake people. And like, the fact that that is your takeaway from this is crazy.
- [65:46]
C
And, and the same. And like, you've gotta, you've gotta like, I. He's not self reflective. Because if, first of all, the fact that anyone is having conversations about how you drink is already a problem, that means you already a problematic drinker. But, but the fact that you are comfortable with lying on camera about the fact that you're drinking, like, why, if you, if you're drinking is okay, why are you lying about it? Why are you lying about it?
- [66:16]
B
You can't, you can't like, hold off for one night.
- [66:19]
C
Yeah, that's exactly my point.
- [66:21]
B
Like, I don't want to, like, shame someone. This is. This sounds very PC. I don't want to shame someone if they are grappling with alcoholism. If they're grappling with an unhealthy relationship, Relationship with alcohol. I don't want to shame them for it because they're dealing with it. You know, they have to come to terms that they take. They have to get there on. On their own time. What I don't like is how it's affecting other people. And when it's being sort of gently to mid. Gently being brought to the attention and increasingly less gently, maybe it's not gentle anymore, but at one point it may have been, but it's being brought to the attention, and it's still being kind of, like, deflected, denied, and pushed back on the other people. People. That's where I get frustrated. It's like, now we have to sign on to your denial right now. And, like, that's such an annoying place.
- [67:02]
C
Exactly, exactly. And. And my thing is, okay, I'm. I'm gonna be vulnerable. I have, like, I have. You know, I have a dicey relationship with alcohol, too, which is why I recognize all this. And. And Danny, like, he's. He's doing. I used to. Do you know what I mean? If you got to go into a room and hide a white claw. First of all, I think he chooses white claw on camera because it's a lower alcohol percentage point. Like, we know you're a whiskey drinker at home. Like, ain't nothing about Danny. No white claw person. You know what I mean? But also, like, if the. If, If. If you can't go to work for five hours and not drink on camera, you've got. You've got an issue there, buddy. Like. Like, do you know how insane it is to, like, you're visiting Britney because she just had surgery, and you going into her gym to sneak a white claw. I don't care what version of the story you tell. That is. That is not a good look at all. And, And.
- [68:05]
B
And then, even to be fair, she had people over, and then he left the white claw in the gym, and it was there for two weeks because no one went into the gym. And it was discovered while she.
- [68:15]
C
Okay, got you. Fair. But it's still, why are you in my gym drinking? You know what I mean? And then there's that. But then also too, like. Like, what I used to do a lot is because I know that my drinking used to bother some people. I would get drunk before I went to the event, so. Because if the anxiety of being around these people socially is what I need to drink for, I would just have some sips before I went, before I went to the event and just not drink there. So I was already tipsy enough. He can't even do that. He. He still needs to, like, on camera. It's just like, why you can't hold off for five hours. Like, this is a thing. And if you're lying about your alcohol consumption is already problematic drinking. That is just true. It is just true. And if this many people around you are telling you that the way you consume alcohol is a problem, it is a problem. Maybe you don't want to accept that. Like you said, he's making everyone participate in his denial. But I love, like, the cherry picking of what you heard. The fact that he heard everyone saying, you can drink, but. And he doesn't acknowledge that thing after the butt. Or the fact that, like, everyone around him has to give him permission to drink. Doesn't. Doesn't set him off. Doesn't, like, set off something in his head is like, is. Is enough for me to be like, all right, this dude is weird. He's a little off.
- [69:35]
B
Yeah. I think also the drinking for him, like, it ties him to like 2000 in 6 Los Angeles. Being a young actor going out on the Sunset Strip, going to Cabo Cansino 2 for 14 to 8pm Every single day. Not saying I love that lifestyle, but, like, I know the hours of a happy hour. And, like, it was a fun time. You party, you go out with your bros, you go to, like, Geisha House afterwards. It was like a time. It, like, takes. And I feel like it's like, like, why do we have to grow up just because I've got kids? Doesn't we have to, like, make this part die and kids or just me.
- [70:06]
C
I have kids. Kids. And he watches Mia have kids
- [70:11]
B
like that. Just because you live in a house where there are children. And I think it's like, I do think this is something that people grapple with, which is like, oh, like, I don't have to give this up. Like, who said, can't? You can have it all? And, like, I think he's not ready to sunset that part of his life. And. And someone. Someone wrote a comment last night on. On either Instagram or Threads or whatever.
- [70:33]
D
Whatever.
- [70:34]
B
But they said it was such a fun observation. Maybe it's a message. I apologize. I'm not giving you credit because I don't. I didn't write down your Name they said, I feel like Danny was the guy in his friend group who was on TV and like, that was his thing. He was like the. He was like the actor who's on TV and he was like, cool and fun and like the life of the party. But now it's like, that's not translating in the same way. And they're all on TV and so it's just hit like all the. Let's go. It was like, it was cool when he was like the famous guy. Guy who had like bit parts on the CW or Nickelodeon or wherever he was, but now that he's on the show, it's just sort of like cringy and like, awkward and annoying, you know? So I thought that was such a great observation for whoever said that.
- [71:18]
C
That's so true. And it makes me think of Kyle Cook, because Kyle Cook, as obnoxious as he must have been in his marriage, being that guy. It doesn't seem to bother the people around his friend group as much as it bothers Danny's friend group. It's just, just. There's just a way to finesse it. Unfortunately for Danny, he's not as likable as Kyle, so he doesn't get away with it the way that Kyle might.
- [71:41]
B
Yeah. Kyle is someone who, like, everyone acknowledges has a drinking problem, but, like, he's almost like high functioning. And you. He like, invites you into his fun in a weird way. Unless you're Amanda, in which case he invites you into his rage. But. But like, he, like, it is. It is sort of funny. People, People express their drinking in different ways. And Danny just expresses his in a shitty way. And let's also not forget that when they went to that, that amusement park in San Diego, they get there and he was so surly and so annoying because he wasn't able to drink yet.
- [72:17]
C
Right.
- [72:17]
B
That was another big red flag, which is angry that everyone was there earlier and had already gotten to start drinking and that he wasn't able to start drinking yet.
- [72:25]
C
Exactly.
- [72:26]
B
He wanted to start drinking.
- [72:27]
C
And doesn't that feel like it Depends sentence to you, you know?
- [72:30]
B
Yeah. I mean, you could make. You could say it's a fomo. You could say it's fomo. It's like, oh, my God, why are we dealing? Why are we. Why are we, like, staying back with the baby? We've helped for the baby. Let's get to the party. Let's get to the fun times. I get that feeling too. I understand that you're like, I just want, like, everyone's there Already? Can we get there? But he was. But I think he was.
- [72:48]
C
He was itching. He was fiending, you know? Yeah.
- [72:53]
B
So anyway, back to the back to back party night. Everyone's getting ready for hoe era. And for some reason, Tom Schwartz has, like, put his, like, white stuff all over his face.
- [73:04]
C
Does he think that Kiss is like, like the band? Is that what his whole era is? Is he just Gene Simmons?
- [73:12]
B
Does he not understand how he has, like, this weird kind of goth look? Like, I don't know what is. He could have just gone out, dressed the way he is. Because he is still in his whole era, let's be honest.
- [73:22]
C
Yeah, I mean, God forgive me, but I still find him to be as. As obnoxious and like, you know, like, weaponized incompetence and all that. I do find him handsome and I do think he'd be fun to be around on a casual basis. Like, he is hot. I don't. I don't know why he's. I mean, like, it's. It's. I don't know. It's weird to watch Tom Schwartz, like, lean into, like, dad bod Tom Schwartz, because he's still a very objectively attractive man. Like, Michelle cute. Yeah, he's very cute.
- [73:54]
B
He's 100 cute. What'd you think, by the way? He's 100 cute. And he's tall.
- [73:58]
C
And he's tall and I. Doesn't he seem like, oh, if you're at a party, he's a good time. You know what I mean? Not the best, but a good time.
- [74:06]
B
I met him at Bravocon. He's, like, really sweet. He's very lovely. He has a good time. But I think his shtick is just getting his stick needs to, like, evolve to, like. It's not. It just doesn't play well at his age anymore, you know?
- [74:21]
C
He also doesn't have a foil. Right. He doesn't have Tom sandal here, you know?
- [74:26]
B
Yeah. To.
- [74:27]
C
To like, give him something to work off of. And so, like, when he makes certain jokes with this group, it's like they not feeling it, brother,
- [74:38]
B
when you're hot, but then you start going down, like, that sad path at the same time. You're hot and sad at the same time. It's like, it's. It's. It's rough. I feel like his styling is getting. It's like moving towards smash mouth, you know, like he's gonna be wearing bowling shirts soon. Hey, everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on Your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call It's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Allison King Our
- [75:13]
D
way is the Amber way It's the
- [75:15]
B
Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.
- [75:23]
D
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila She's a Daniella Etchells we never miss her call. It's Diane Call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.
- [75:36]
B
Aaron McNichol she don't miss no Tricolus Hava Nagila Webber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.
- [75:42]
D
It's no BS we love Hugo Es Jamie she has no last namey Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch she's our
- [75:51]
B
favorite streamer Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson.
- [75:55]
D
Que sera sera Whatever will be Will Lauren Silsby. She gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Lindsey. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a DAISY It's Maisie McHenry come again? We're obsessed with Margaret O' Halloran. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg Gather round for the lore of Michelle Moore.
- [76:17]
B
This is Living with Michelle Vivian I love a y' all.
- [76:20]
D
Olivia Williamson.
- [76:22]
B
She sure is swell.
- [76:23]
D
It's Raquel, yes, we can.
- [76:25]
B
It's Savannah Cast a spell Bell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
- [76:31]
D
Darn Skippy. It's Tippy and our super Premium sponsors she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get
- [76:38]
B
us 10 cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva let's get real with Caitlin o' Neill.
- [76:46]
D
Put us on a stretcher It's Charlotte Fletcher Hogle your horses It's Christine Hogel don't get salty with Christine Pepper, Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily
- [76:55]
B
sides who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish.
- [77:02]
D
It's Jen Plish have a kebab with
- [77:05]
B
K. Rob, My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo let's get savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron, She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy Only always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers.
- [77:23]
D
The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Sharrous. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.
- [77:37]
B
She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.
- [77:39]
D
We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Tell of son Shannon out of a cannon.
- [77:44]
B
Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing.
- [77:49]
D
Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet. Cootar. We love you guys.
- [78:01]
A
Hey there, It's Wayfair here, where delivery and setup are as easy as a few taps on your phone. You're relaxing in an old hammock, scrolling Wayfair's app when you spot it. A brand new patio set. Next thing you know, Wayfair delivers it right to your patio and sets it up. Oh, you need a new grill too. Alright, Wayfair's got you covered. With Wayfair's room of choice delivery and fast expert setup on qualifying orders, life gets a little easier. Visit Wayfair.com or the Wayfair app Wayfair
- [78:28]
B
Every Style, Every Home this episode is sponsored by HeyGen. HeyGen turns a script, photo or presentation into a polished video of you in minutes. No camera or crew request required. It's how real estate agents, financial advisors, attorneys and creators show up consistently on every feed and build a brand that brings in clients without spending their whole week making content. Rated the 1 AI video platform for small businesses on G2 with the most realistic AI avatars in the industry, trusted by a community of over 30 million people and 85% of the Fortune 100 and built to work in over 175 languages so you can reach your audience in their here's the wild Record yourself for just 15 seconds and Heygen builds an AI avatar that makes professional videos for you on demand so you can post everywhere your audience is as yourself without filming every time. Your first three videos are free at heygen.com pod that's H E-Y-G-E-N.com pod unlock efficiency and innovation with HP Copilot PCs from America's first favorite PC brand. With up to 34 hours of battery life and Microsoft Copilot built in, you can draft emails and summarize meetings with the fastest, most intelligent and secure Windows PCs ever tap the banner. To learn more at hp.com need expert advice, call HP Business Technology Advisors at 1-800-761-8417.