# 2668 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3

Summary

Episode #2668: Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 3 Release Date: December 27, 2024 Hosts: Ben Mandelker, Ronnie Karam, Poodle, Dylan

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Introduction to "Hot Frosty"

In this episode of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam, along with their co-hosts Poodle and Dylan, dive deep into their critique of the holiday-themed movie Hot Frosty. Known for their sharp humor and candid opinions, the crew brings their signature style to dissect this latest offering from the realm of reality-inspired cinema.

Plot Overview

Hot Frosty centers around Kathy, a woman grappling with the loss of her husband, who finds herself stranded with Jack, a seemingly mysterious man claiming to be a snowman. As Jack interacts with the townsfolk of Hot Springs, the movie attempts to blend elements of supernatural fantasy with holiday cheer. However, the hosts quickly identify numerous plot inconsistencies and character development issues that undermine the film's intended charm.

Detailed Discussion and Critique

1. Character Development and Casting Choices

The hosts begin by examining the character dynamics between Kathy and Jack. Ben expresses skepticism about the believability of a snowman developing human-like emotions and desires:

[03:13] Ben: "What I'm telling you right now. This is not me trying to go back, do like a callback to all this Lauren Holly. But when at this point in my mind... I thought when she said, that reminds me of a girl from... I thought they were setting up a plot point that there was going to be this evil girl played by Lauren Holly."

Ronnie and Dylan add to the confusion caused by casting mismatches and unrealistic character relationships:

[04:45] Dylan: "Oh, Lindsay."

[04:46] Ronnie: "Poor Lindsay. Oh, wasn't that just last year?"

2. Plot Holes and Inconsistencies

The discussion shifts to the numerous plot holes that plague Hot Frosty. The hosts are particularly baffled by Jack's supernatural abilities and the lack of explanation behind his snowman persona:

[14:45] Ben: "What qualification of snowman makes you be able to replicate everything you see?"

[15:01] Ben: "TV tutorials are terrible, first of all. Also, there's no cooking shows on TV left anymore."

Poodle highlights the abrupt transitions and lack of narrative cohesion:

[11:17] Ben: "Snow sculptures, the competition that this..."

[11:19] Dylan: "This movie should be called a Christmas Edging, because that's just what it was, just an hour and a half of edging and nobody did anything else."

3. Dialogue and Humor

The hosts find the dialogue in Hot Frosty both awkward and unintentionally hilarious. They mock the unrealistic interactions between characters, especially the romantic tension that feels forced and creepy:

[07:31] Dylan: "I tell my dentist I love them when I leave."

[08:39] Dylan: "Do you notice some unpleasant thing?"

Ronnie shares a relatable anecdote to emphasize the overuse of "I love you" in the movie:

[08:24] Ronnie: "Tell my love you to people."

4. Technical Aspects and Production Quality

The discussion also touches on the technical shortcomings of the film, including poor special effects and questionable editing choices:

[14:45] Ben: "He got scissorhands, but..."

[16:11] Ronnie: "No, she's morning. She's not touching, she's not doing that. She's just handing food to people, but she's not creating."

[21:57] Ronnie: "It's time for a commercial."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• [22:22] Ronnie: "I love watching True Detective and I actually haven't seen the Jody Foster season, so I'm starting that tonight."

• [29:01] Ronnie: "I ate an eggnog ice cream the other day from salt and that could be good."

• [34:07] Ronnie: "It's weird. Anybody taking care of their father through cancer."

• [39:25] Ben: "Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors."

Humorous Interludes and Personal Anecdotes

Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse their critiques with personal stories and humorous remarks, enhancing the entertainment value. For instance, Dylan shares a funny encounter about telling a dentist he loves them, and Ronnie discusses her experiences with overly affectionate acquaintances.

Conclusion: The Final Verdict on "Hot Frosty"

By the end of the episode, it's clear that Hot Frosty falls short of delivering a compelling holiday narrative. The hosts collectively lament the film's lack of depth, poor character development, and numerous plot inconsistencies. Their candid and humorous take not only highlights the film's flaws but also entertains listeners with their infectious chemistry and witty banter.

[55:27] Poodle: "It's... She doesn't really change at all."

[55:33] Ben: "She's like... Everything about this. I mean, maybe I should run from the hills..."

Ultimately, Watch What Crappens serves as both a critique and a comedic exploration of Hot Frosty, making it a must-listen for fans eager for unfiltered opinions on the latest Bravo-inspired fare.

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Support & Additional Content

For listeners who enjoy the in-depth and humorous critiques, Watch What Crappens offers bonus episodes, video recaps, and exclusive access to their Discord server through their Patreon: www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Additionally, ad-free and exclusive content is available on Wondery+.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections as per the request.

Transcript

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

But as the sellers discover, sometimes the home of your dreams can be a total nightmare.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Ray Romano, is now playing only on Netflix.

[Ben]

Watch what happen. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

[Poodle]

Welcome back to our continuing coverage of the masterpiece that is hot, Frosty.

[Ben]

So they get to Kathy is going to take him in. She brings Jack to her house. Okay. And she's like, well, I don't know what to do with this person, but I'm gonna do what I've heard parents do, which is sticking. Stick them in front of the tv. So she puts. In front of the tv, she turns on. Turns on the tv and she's flipping through, and this is where she puts on. I think this was the falling for.

[Poodle]

This is falling for Christmas. Yeah.

[Ben]

And she says, I think I went to high school with this girl now. Okay, I'm gonna be. This is totally honest, what I'm telling you right now. This is not me trying to go back, do like a. Like a call back to all this Lauren Holly. But when at this point in my mind, I'm watching this movie, and I see that Lauren Holly is high in the credits. So I know that Lauren Holly, in my mind, is going to be playing a big role. I'm waiting for Lauren Holly to come on. And for some reason, out of context, the TVs sort of small. I did not realize that this was Lindsay Lohan. I thought it was Lauren Holly because of the red hair and it was so far away, and there was fillers, and I was like. I thought when she said, that reminds me of a girl from. I went to high school with. I thought they were setting up a plot point that there was going to be this evil girl played by Lauren Holly. And I was like, are they going to have Lacy shot? Bear and Lauren Holly actually going at each other. Went to high school together. And then I looked it up. I saw Lauren Holly is 61. Lacey Chabert is 42. I was like. I was like, the balls of this movie that they're going to say that these two people who are 20 years apart are going to be classmates, and she's going to come back in and be the villain. I went down this whole path where I really thought this was going to happen.

[Poodle]

It was much simp.

[Ronnie]

10 more minutes of the movie.

[Ben]

That would have been high school friends to come in. And I was like, that would have.

[Dylan]

Been so much more interesting.

[Poodle]

I totally agree.

[Dylan]

I wish it would have happened.

[Ben]

Like, I literally. Until Lauren Holly appeared, until she appeared later, I literally thought this was happening. And then when I saw that they didn't. That she was not the high school friend, I was like, wait a second. And I was like, oh, it was Lindsay Lohan.

[Dylan]

Oh, Lindsay.

[Ronnie]

Poor Lindsay. Oh, wasn't that just last year?

[Dylan]

It's like, oh, it's me. She's got a. Another one. This Year.

[Poodle]

I think that was five years ago or four years ago, but. But yeah, she. She was like, I'm back.

[Ronnie]

Hey. I mean, it's me, Lindsay.

[Dylan]

I forget. Oh, the next one, I think, is called Our Little Secret. It's the one that Christian Chen with. She's doing great.

[Ronnie]

Like a War of the Roses type thing where she's. She dated exes who hate each other.

[Poodle]

She dated a guy and he's there with at Christmas or something like that.

[Ronnie]

Oh, okay. Oh, my God, I love Kristin Chenoweth so much. Okay.

[Dylan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie]

So Kathy. So they moved to a cooking show, and Jack is like, this is what you do. And she's like, oh, you mean cooking? Yeah, I thought you meant crying and falling downstairs, but, yeah, being miserable. Yeah. My husband and I opened the diner, you know, it was going to be called Kathy and Chris, but I really hated him at the time. Didn't love him until he died. Isn't that fucked up? Anyway, if you want some pie, she.

[Poodle]

Says, I used to help the chef out all the time. I even wrote some recipes. There was this really great one for sweet potato casserole, and I'm like, we all know what this is. This is sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top. That's it.

[Ronnie]

He's trying to steal Patti LaBelle's, which is not gonna work.

[Poodle]

And guess what?

[Ronnie]

Sweet potato pie.

[Poodle]

And it's never brought up again.

[Dylan]

She doesn't. They literally cook a pizza. Why doesn't she teach him how to make the sweet potato casserole?

[Ben]

She doesn't even serve it to Chris Shell's daughter.

[Ronnie]

This.

[Dylan]

Okay, this movie is nothing but just like. It's just nothing but a dick tease the entire time.

[Ronnie]

It's like ideas with wearing a condom. It's all these ideas that just never came to fruition.

[Ben]

It's just, you know, it's just remnants from previous familiar. No one thought decided, you know what?

[Poodle]

Exactly. Draft one one went by and chose it.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah. There was a mayor in one draft. They're gone. But they still get. They're gone. And when their actors say these lines, no one says, oh, we forgot to take that out. They say, just go with it.

[Poodle]

We don't have time. We could make this movie in four days.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, but you're right. It should have been like, oh, my gosh, you know what? I. You like cooking videos? This is funny because I made a YouTube one time of myself making the sweet potato casserole that my husband loved, and then he becomes an expert at it, and they sell 9 million of them. And then they have the bail when he needs to get out. Like, oh, my God, I forgot I had all this money in my Venmo from those sweet potato pies I was selling for the porch.

[Ben]

Children, literally anything.

[Dylan]

Thank you.

[Ben]

So she's just like, okay, well, here's the tv. You learn about life here. And Jack is like, thanks, I'm so excited to be here. I love this house and I love you. She's.

[Dylan]

You know what?

[Ben]

You have to stop, okay? You don't. You don't love me, okay? Because, you know, you may like a house or a soup. Those are things. That's fine. But when you love a person, you can't love a person the way you love a soup or a house, okay? It means more to love a person. Unless it's a really good soup, which I used to be able to do, but I can't because I'm mourning.

[Dylan]

Because I'm unhappy now I'm happy.

[Ronnie]

People don't have the patience for soup.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Ben]

You don't understand the way you could toy with people's hearts. You know, one. One day you're a snowman, next to you're a hunk. You just can't tease a girl like that.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. You know, I had someone who broke up with me one time because I said I loved you to too many people. And I was like, what's wrong with that? Just saying I love you to people. And he was like, no, it's very serious when you say. I was like, it's not to me. It's like. I mean, it's. I do love the people, but I don't like. I don't know. I don't like that.

[Dylan]

Oh, my God.

[Ronnie]

Tell my love you to people.

[Dylan]

I tell my dentist I love them when I leave.

[Ben]

Listen, it's one thing to say I love you when you're. First of all, Gay men can say I love you to anything, and it always works. Okay, but one time.

[Ronnie]

Except each other. God forbid.

[Poodle]

No, that's not possible.

[Dylan]

That's true. If I say it to Poodle ever, he just immediately becomes like an iceman. Like a snowman just frozen.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Poodle]

It makes me think you want something from me.

[Dylan]

Believe me, I don't.

[Ronnie]

I say I love people to who I love. I don't say I love you to people I don't love.

[Ben]

I once went. I once was invited out to brunch by. By this girl. And I had met her, like, the day before at a party. And we hit it off. It was great. And she was like, you want to come to brunch? And I was like, sure. This is kind of fun. Like, a person I just met yesterday, I'm going to have brunch with her tomorrow. And I. I went. And it was like, all these people. It's like 10 people. It's a big party, and just had the best time. And then at the end of the brunch, she goes, ben, I love you. And I thought, like, this is sort of weird. I just met this girl yesterday to be, like, already saying, hey, I love you, to someone new. But I was like, I'm gonna go with it. I was like, you know what, Lindsay? I love you too. You're great. She's like, thanks. And then the waiter came by. I was like, well, here's your bill. And she literally turns to the waiter and goes, can I just say I love you? And I was like, excuse me.

[Dylan]

What?

[Poodle]

She told the waiter they loved him.

[Ben]

Waiter. She loved him. I was like. On the heels of telling me, I was like, okay, well, then you said it too much, and it means nothing.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that's okay. Well, that's a little different.

[Dylan]

That's a good example. But this.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, maybe it is a good example, but you know what? If I was that waiter, I'd have been like, what a crazy bitch. But, dear God, that made. Maybe I am lovable.

[Poodle]

Do you guys. Do you still think she thinks he's a drifter at this point? I. I just wonder where. I also questioned where in the movie where she believed he was a snowman.

[Ben]

She. Well, she right now is just. She's just. She feels like he's troubled, but that he's benign. Not that the script said that, but I think that's where we're. That's what we have.

[Poodle]

I think she had to make a lot of choices for herself in this.

[Ben]

So he's like, it's so hot in here. Can we change this? So she unplugs the heater, even though it's, like, negative.

[Poodle]

She's freezing.

[Ben]

Yes, she's freezing. But she's like, whatever. And then he's like, kathy, I still don't understand how all this is happening, but I'm glad that you're the one who found me. Thank you. She's like, you're welcome. I'm gonna report you to social services tomorrow.

[Poodle]

Right.

[Dylan]

You're welcome.

[Poodle]

So the sheriff shows up again. Thank God.

[Ben]

Talking about this.

[Dylan]

There is no art to this movie. It's like just a ping pong ball.

[Poodle]

I. I was something. I. I marked was the. The I was like, when does this, when, when does the journey of this start? When does the, when does the, the when does the actions. When the. With the stakes and the, the kind of the, the action, the big thing that's going to happen. And yeah, for a minute I thought it was the ice sculptures of the.

[Ben]

Snow sculptures, the, the competition that this.

[Dylan]

Movie, this movie should be called a Christmas Edging, because that's just what it was, just an hour and a half of edging and nobody did anything else.

[Poodle]

And so he, the, the sheriff is still just talking about, gotta find the streaker. So they, what they've done. I guarantee you Craig Robinson probably left three hours more footage on the floor of these little monologues and they just kept putting them where they needed to not make te things happen.

[Dylan]

And.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie]

Well, I'll tell you something else. You can also love soup, Kathy. And you can also love inanimate objects or pets.

[Dylan]

Yes, Kathy.

[Ronnie]

Sorry, Jake, go ahead, stick in my craw. With cat.

[Dylan]

If she was a real cook, she would have made him a gazpacho.

[Ben]

No, she's morning. She's morning. She's not touching, she's not doing that. She's just handing food to people, but she's not creating.

[Poodle]

She makes turkey sandwiches. That's it?

[Ben]

Yeah, that's it. So she goes back to her cafe, the sheriff comes around, is like, I heard that we had a strange man on the prowl and that he. And then the deputy is like, yeah, they went streaking in front of poor Ethel Jennings. I've never seen her so horned up in my life. She's walking around in a bra right now.

[Poodle]

She said she's been playing with herself for three days straight.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, Ethel's okay. She has been put in the clink. She won't stop in public.

[Ben]

So we cut to.

[Dylan]

It's just her rubbing up on the prison bar.

[Poodle]

She's just rubbing her. She's just rubbing her crotch on a.

[Dylan]

Chair like an inappropriate horny 8 year old who doesn't know.

[Poodle]

Not with a stuffed animal.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, we had to scrape her off of a light pole in the middle of downtown. So.

[Dylan]

Yeah, we had a girl growing up. I, I remember. What was her. Her name was Tawny. Tawny. It was like Mikhail or something. No, and she would just. No, we'd just be at a baseball game and she just would be rubbing herself up like on the baseball. She was old enough to know better. She'd just be rubbing herself on like a bench. You're trying to talk to her and she's just basically just trying to. It was very inappropriate.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, no kidding. It was weird over there. That is.

[Dylan]

I don't know.

[Ronnie]

Why didn't anybody just go smack her? You know, sometimes it's okay to just smack a child and say, no, stop it. I'm your village. You know, that's what I tell my nieces when they're like, you're not my mother. I said, I don't give a. I'm village. And you have to listen to me.

[Ben]

So Sheriff Hunter says, guys, this strange person who's on the prowl broke into reclaimed rags, which, by the way, maybe work on that branding a little bit. Yeah, what about reclaimed whimsy? Like the one near Ronnie's house?

[Poodle]

Reclaimed whimsy?

[Dylan]

Yes.

[Ben]

So they're like. He's like, look, it's a blatant disrespect for law and order and this is terrible and it needs to stop. So meanwhile, everyone's like, okay, sure. So then we go back. Meanwhile, at Kathy's house, Jack is watching TV and he's learning everything about life. So first he's watching a cooking show and we know he's going to cook something amazing because he's like mimicking how to like, make a pizza on the coffee table. So we know that's gonna come. We know like an amazing Jack pizza is coming up soon.

[Poodle]

Can I ask a question of how. What being. Being a snowman, what qualification of snowman makes you be able to replicate everything you see?

[Ben]

Yeah, like super smart magic.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's like his magic of just being super smart. Which is so weird because he was just trying to eat a thermometer, as you pointed out. So I'm not really sure, but it's like they're brilliant. Just like savants.

[Dylan]

I guess if your mind is made of Dyson, you're very sharp. I don't know.

[Ben]

Yeah, I just.

[Poodle]

I get. I'm trying to figure out what is where a superpower comes from. Like, how do you. Like, it usually needs to come from some specific reason and it just doesn't. It's just he can do everything, you know?

[Dylan]

You know what?

[Ben]

He got scissorhands, but.

[Poodle]

He had scissorhands, so he was really good. Like, that was. That was the specific.

[Ben]

He had scissorhands whole life. He was training his whole life too. That. That castle.

[Poodle]

Keep going. I'm sorry, I just. I just.

[Ben]

This.

[Poodle]

It really.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, but this one, he was really good at things for like 10 minutes and then they never went back to that either. He was good at this and then he was good at fixing things, and then that was it.

[Ben]

Yeah, he just, like, would. He just would, like, learn things off of tv. And by the way, TV tutorials are terrible, first of all. Also, there's no cooking shows on TV left anymore. Food. If he was watching the Food Network, he would have been watching Guy Fieri doing, like, the groceries, dinosaurs, the dives.

[Poodle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie]

He'd be like, bam. Oh, I just made pasta sauce out of jarred pasta sauce.

[Poodle]

I just had some mayo, chili lime, habanero poppers.

[Ronnie]

It just says something terribly offensive, like, Paula Deen. Don't watch Paula Dean. Where did you even find that rerun?

[Ben]

So now he's like. He's watching, like, Nosferatu or, like.

[Poodle]

Yeah. Learning about.

[Ben]

And he's scared.

[Poodle]

Yeah.

[Dylan]

So how does he. I guess he learned in Dracula. Is that where he learned that across scares them? Yes, he's holding across. And this. This guy's like, this is my big physical comedy moment.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Dylan]

He is, like, everywhere looking crosses.

[Ben]

Dustin Milligan's like, guys, just roll the camera. I'm just gonna try some stuff.

[Poodle]

I'm gonna do this for, like, 20 minutes. I'll pay everyone extra for their overtime. This is gonna go on my reel later.

[Ben]

Greg Robinson, he's like.

[Poodle]

He's like, yes.

[Ben]

Well, Craig can do it, so I can do it too. I'm gonna do some really good, like, physical stuff. Like, there's a vampire on screen.

[Dylan]

This is the part where I was a little bit like, this feels a little bad. It was a little clunky.

[Poodle]

She. He. He. Later on is in the. He's. He.

[Ben]

Wait, hold on a second. It's not later on.

[Poodle]

This is why it's 10 minutes later.

[Ben]

Because this discovery, the reason the vampire movie is what causes the discovery here, which is that he goes into the basement looking for vampires because of what he saw on tv. And instead he finds a document that says that Kathy's husband needed chemotherapy at some point in his life, as the doctor said.

[Poodle]

The doctor said, yeah, his blood wasn't doing good. And that was the. That was the diagnosis.

[Dylan]

And Comic Sans first.

[Ben]

Comic Sans, followed by an emoji.

[Poodle]

His cells. His cells weren't great. And lots of question marks.

[Ronnie]

Oh, gosh. Just. Yeah. So much wackiness. Lol.

[Ben]

The strangest part to me was when there was a note from the. From the husband to Kathy saying, it's not looking good for me. So it's one of the last things. I'm gonna go to Washington D.C. on January 6th. Wish me luck. I was like, wow.

[Poodle]

Gonna go out with the bang.

[Dylan]

Oh, boy.

[Poodle]

Boy, don't tread on me. But there was this one thing where.

[Dylan]

Yes. And this actually all is just a fever dream because Lacey Chabert the snowman's not real. She wakes up at the end and she just had a reaction to her Covid booster. That's what it is. It kill.

[Poodle]

Told you. And did you notice that these were also more horribly photoshopped pictures of them?

[Dylan]

These were egregious.

[Ben]

I saw the Canva logo and I thought maybe they should.

[Poodle]

It was quite bad. She comes back after this and he's going through all the medical. He's looking at that and he. Where does he ask? He's. He's got on an apron, rolling pins, and she's got clothes. And of course, he says. She says, oh, great, clothes. And starts to take off his clothes, even though he knew he needed to wear clothes before.

[Ben]

Didn't you pick that up on tv? Like, he learned about vampires and cookies. Maybe not learn.

[Poodle]

And modesty.

[Ben]

Modesty.

[Poodle]

But the thing is. But the first thing he. He knew he needed clothes. So that's. That's the thing he knew about. It's like the Bible. He knew he was naked, so he immediately. So it's. It's weird that he has God.

[Ronnie]

We need to be deprogrammed, the both of us. You and I both are sick with this Bible. I do this all day. Just like the Bible. I need to stop. We are some help. It's. It's a sickness. We've been brainwashed, you know? And then whenever we start talking about something like Scientology or Mormonism, I'm like, cult. And I'm like, well, let me tell you what Jesus would have done.

[Poodle]

Well, it's. It is. It is.

[Dylan]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Ben]

So. So he basically tries to undress. She's like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, that's. You don't do that in front of me. Etc. So she's like, oh. He's like, by the way, I have something to show you in the kitchen. And she's like, okay. By the way, before you show me that. That first night that you said of your life, were you wearing clothes? And he's like, yeah, no, I had the. I had the scarf you gave me, but that's basically it. And she goes, oh, no. Did you streak past old Mortimer Jennings? And he's like, streak? She goes, yeah. Did you run by with no pants? He's like, listen, I've got something to show you in the kitchen. Questions he has to ask me.

[Dylan]

And then she said, did you steal the clothes? And again, he knows what stealing is.

[Poodle]

He doesn't say what stealing, which would have been adorable, but he goes. She's like, well, honey, there's a capitalism, and here's how capitalism works. We have these things and there are people who have them and they who don't. But he. He says, yeah, I did steal.

[Dylan]

And yeah, I did steal, and I. And I'm gonna get fined on my taxes because I don't have Obamacare. He learned about watching television.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my gosh. Oh. He's like, wait a minute. Why was our medical bill from Dottie $19,000. Yeah. The most unbelievable part of this is just that he was about to take off his clothes and she was like, no, please don't.

[Poodle]

I know.

[Ronnie]

Stop teaching him the wrong things. I mean, for Christ's sake, him.

[Poodle]

Him wearing. Him being naked with that scarf the whole time, I would mandate.

[Dylan]

Does he have any dick pics on that Doc Doc site or whatever it's called?

[Ronnie]

I'm not going back on there again because I just felt downright unprofessional. I mean, I did that and then suddenly my whole computer screen was full of dicks. I'm doing this. Or should I just pull a. What's that guy's name? A tube in I don't think.

[Poodle]

Jeffrey Tubing just jerking off there in a zoom meeting.

[Ronnie]

No, I wouldn't do that. I barely do that alone.

[Dylan]

Same.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

So Kathy. Kathy's basically like, listen, you have to keep off of the sheriff's radar. And he's like, oh my God, I'm on the radar. She's like, yeah, you need to lay low. So Kathy's decided that she's okay being like an accessory to this criminal.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that's okay with kidnapping, by the way, because she's just like, just stay here all day. I'm like, kathy, you've just kidnapped this man.

[Dylan]

I think she secretly hates Mel because Mel gives her shitty clothes all the time and shames her for her fashion. Yeah, that's scarf. It's just in a. It's a litany of just many things she's received.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, they're trying to be like, oh, let's help her maybe if she can get some better fashion at least. Here's a scarf, honey. Maybe this will help.

[Dylan]

Honey, I got you a lip, A cheetah cardigan. Just wear this, please, honey.

[Ronnie]

Is it Rivera? I'll take it. If it's an animal print, you can go fuck yourself. How about that?

[Ben]

Kathy's like, okay, well, thanks for this ugly ass scarf. Here, I got you a sandwich with no mayo with the driest cold cut of all, turkey.

[Ronnie]

I. Yeah. So he's making a pizza brilliantly because he learned it from the TV and stuff. And so she's like, oh, my God, this is amazing. Okay. I can finally fire the only person that's taken care of me for the last year that he's making eggnog.

[Dylan]

Which eggnog and pizza sound disgusting together.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God, my dream. I did not know that eggnog was literal eggs.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie]

That's disgusting. Why doesn't anybody die from that? How does. How are people dying from gluten? But then people drink fe raw eggs all season.

[Poodle]

Though. I think eggnog is. The eggs are cooked though, maybe.

[Ben]

Well, I think. No, I think that, like in proper eggnog, I think it's.

[Poodle]

Oh, they're not supposed to be cooked. Oh.

[Ben]

Now, proper eggnog is like whatever to me, but store. Store bought eggnog. Like the stuff that comes. That carton. Oh, that thick, heavy cream laced with egg.

[Dylan]

You like it?

[Ben]

Don't like it or you do like, I love it.

[Poodle]

Can't. I can't do it.

[Ben]

I can't do it. Oh, my God, do I love it.

[Ronnie]

I ate an eggnog ice cream the other day from salt and that could be good.

[Poodle]

That could be good.

[Ronnie]

Actually, Ice cream with Christmas cookies in it. It is.

[Dylan]

That could be good. That could be good.

[Poodle]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Now, by the way, speaking of all this food stuff, this is when the movie does start to feel like a Nancy Myers movie. Because, like, all of a sudden we have, like, soft lighting. We're in a kitchen, we're getting close ups of all this.

[Ronnie]

Well, Nancy Myers did get boners over cooking. She loved that. That. She loves some cooking. Nancy, she said.

[Dylan]

Right?

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

No, no, no. Nancy Myers is alive. It's Nora Efron who died.

[Dylan]

That's what. Thank you.

[Ronnie]

Oh, damn it. Well, I'm sorry. I don't know why I sounded disappointed. I mean, I'm so disappointed.

[Poodle]

We.

[Ben]

She's not long.

[Poodle]

She's not gonna live long for us because. Because that's what we do when we mention someone on our podcast. They usually die pretty soon. Nancy Myers. It was good knowing you. You.

[Dylan]

Nice knowing you. Sorry. Sorry about that. Oh, too. She's 74.

[Ronnie]

This world is enough. Don't take Nancy. 74 is nothing.

[Ben]

Yeah, sure. Yeah, but it is. She. She loves. I always think about that scene, and it's complicated where Meryl Streep, like, quote unquote, makes a chocolate croissant.

[Ronnie]

I will never forget that scene. That was the best scene ever when she's like, you want to come to my bakery and I'll make you a chocolate croissant from scratch?

[Ben]

Chocolate croissant takes like four hours to make. But I don't care.

[Ronnie]

I'm still in love with Meryl Streep. Like, that was such a good romantic mov. I'm in love with her. I'm like, God, that's the lady who made that croissant. She could do Sophie's Choice. She could do whatever she wants or whatever accent I don't even remember, but.

[Poodle]

That I just love. It's complicated.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God. Do your own stunts, girl. You go.

[Dylan]

She's great. I loved her in Murders.

[Ben]

I was just gonna. I was just gonna go back to the kitchen scene because I already can tell. If we start talking about Meryl Streep, it's over.

[Dylan]

Yeah, yeah, go back.

[Poodle]

I was trying.

[Ben]

I was trying to go on. So Kathy is like. She's having a moment, an existential crisis. Because she's like, I mean, you're nog. It's. It's fantastic nog. But you're standing here grossed out by it.

[Ronnie]

I felt like she didn't even compliment his knock. He made a perfect egg. Literal eggnog. And she's like, I mean, God. And he's like, is it bad? And she goes, it's fine. It's great, girl. The man just made a perfect eggnog.

[Ben]

No, she's slow.

[Ronnie]

Him, like, do something, like, hug him. Give him. Give him the compliments.

[Dylan]

Yeah, you cold.

[Ben]

But she's like. Like, she's like, it's a fantastic nog. But you're just. You're standing here in my kitchen and you could barely even function this morning, and you're making me drinks and dinner. I mean, let's not even mention the snowman part. I'm like, no, that's the part that you start your mind, lady. Check yourself into an institution.

[Poodle]

It's. It's that. It's the. It's the trying to make it realistic and us tracking her realism that almost makes it feel non realistic because no one. It's. It's doing the opposite. Job. Job. Yeah.

[Ben]

So he's like, well, what. When was the last time someone made you dinner? She goes, isaac, at the diner. He makes me dinner almost every night. I'm a woman. I don't understand how to do things for myself. And I can't even remember the last time I cooked for myself.

[Dylan]

Can't even remember.

[Poodle]

You did check into a nervous hospital for a while. Honey, you need some work.

[Dylan]

This. This is the actual line. I just want to write it. So he said, says, can I ask you. Earlier today, I was checking the house for vampires. Dot, dot, dot.

[Ronnie]

Yep.

[Dylan]

What's cancer?

[Poodle]

And it's the fact that they're together what made me die laughing. I don't. I laugh out loud a lot, but I laughed and I. And I. I had to put this down and I.

[Ben]

This is.

[Dylan]

I had a. I had to pause it and just laugh for like five. And then I watched it, like five times. Times.

[Ronnie]

He's sick, man.

[Dylan]

So when I was.

[Poodle]

When I was checking the house earlier tonight, when I was downstairs checking the house for vampires. What's cancer?

[Ronnie]

Also, I love that he can read so well too, right? So she's like, oh, it's a sickness. It's a. It's a not nice thing that happens to some people. Well, could you be more specific? Is it like when you refute. When you refuse to let them take their penis out of their pants when they were supposed to five minutes ago? Because that's an unpleasant thing. Do you notice some unpleasant thing?

[Poodle]

Do you notice that she' talking to him like he's a 3 year old? I'm glad you brought not nice thing that happens to some people.

[Ben]

I was going to say the same thing. And I'm like, I don't understand how they are going to turn this into a romance. Don't worry if she's talking to him like a child. Like.

[Dylan]

And it really affects because I think we haven't talked about this yet, but this is, I think the scene to do it. They have horrible chemistry.

[Poodle]

I, I agree. He, he's pretty charming. They have almost little to no chemistry together.

[Dylan]

None.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, because he's acting like a five year old. Like that's his.

[Dylan]

That's.

[Poodle]

I think that's one of the problems.

[Ronnie]

And I get why you would do that because you did just come to life. But it takes all any kind of romance off the table because it's creepy.

[Poodle]

You know exactly.

[Ronnie]

Who are obsessed with pretending they're bad.

[Ben]

And I think that like just because he was like, he came to life, they should have made him like come to life and be like this hot suave guy who's got like full personality in the sleepy town. And he's just. And she's just like, whoa, you're a creep or whatever. But then she realizes that he actually has a heart instead of like, oh, he has a heart. And now I realize I could do some workarounds and find this person sexually attractive even though he was like a child.

[Dylan]

Possibly I've got arms at the very least around or at least let her be in love. Like, because I know this because like I said after I got high and watched George of the Jungle, Leslie Mann does a good job of like falling in love with the childlike thing of George and that they needed her to like maybe position her. That she has grown up and closed her heart and she's way more has to be adult about everything. And he makes her. This is just.

[Poodle]

Do you remember how hot Brandon Fraser was in that movie? Holy.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Oh my God.

[Dylan]

And he is, he is in a loincloth the entire time.

[Ben]

Yeah, the entire.

[Ronnie]

Those are the days.

[Dylan]

Perfect.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, well, you know, I'm glad it happened fast because he didn't have to suffer, you know, innocent Cancer. Barely anything doesn't. You know, it went quick. I mean, I'm like, what do you just give. Just have him run over by a truck. Please do not make cancer sound like it's nothing.

[Dylan]

Yeah, I was. Honestly, I don't know.

[Ronnie]

It's weird. Anybody taking care of their father.

[Dylan]

Yes, Taking care of my father through cancer. I actually, I was. I don't know what I was more offended by the notes in Comic Sans or this explanation.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

I think it should have just been like, he. We got into accident or he died of, like, hypothermia. So that way it could all be tied together a little.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, he died of cancer. It's just how they're dealing with it. Like, that's not something we discuss. So it's just weird. So then. And it's. It's also getting weird with consent when you're, like, talking to a five year old. So, yes, this movie, at this point, this movie's creeping me out. And I'm like, have I just been living in the modern world too much where I'm offended at every little thing because I'm not this kind of person, but I am like, yeah.

[Ben]

Oh, also, I feel like this is. You know what I also don't like about this is that, like, I hate when pe. When movies do, like a surprise cancer thing because I also feel like there are people who have cancer who probably turn this on as like an escape to get away. And they. And then this sort of just gets dropped in there. And that's got to be like. It's. That's just sort of like not a nice thing.

[Poodle]

You know, cancer is the easiest thing they though. You can just say it and people go, oh, cancer. Yeah, yeah, cancer.

[Ben]

But they could have just said, like, he died of, like, anything.

[Poodle]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Like, I don't know. I just feel like cancer is actually just too. That's actually too little too scary versus, like, it's very heavy.

[Poodle]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

That's why. Well, they're gonna love listening to this.

[Ben]

I know.

[Poodle]

I was checking the house for vampires. What's cancer?

[Ben]

What's cancer downstairs? What's cancer, by the way?

[Ronnie]

So.

[Dylan]

Well, he did home repair, so that's why her house looks like. Because he did it all.

[Ben]

So that's what we find out. So she's been like, in a state of.

[Ronnie]

He got step cancer. It's the kind of cancer you get when you're about to repair a step.

[Poodle]

Honeydew cancer when you don't want to work in your house.

[Ronnie]

That's so bad.

[Ben]

Her life is on because she hasn't moved forward. And I think we all know this guy's gonna help. So he. So he starts talking about how he tried making pizza and it was hot and couldn't do the oven.

[Dylan]

That scared him.

[Poodle]

Because I don't like the oven. No, I don't like the oven.

[Ronnie]

Dude, why is Jack Frost not watching? Like, it's like, oh, I just watched a Ninja Creamy commercial, and now I just made 31 flavors of ice cream.

[Poodle]

He should make. He literally should bake ice cream for her for dinner. He should make granitas. Yeah. All things that are cold.

[Ronnie]

Also, I want a child to come up and pee their name into him. We're just wasting a whole character.

[Dylan]

That's a. That's what a Gamora is right there. That's what a Gamora is. Misplace.

[Poodle]

When you get up, when you get a pissed snow angel made. Made on you, that's Gamora.

[Dylan]

There we go.

[Ben]

So now they're watching TV because that's all that they can do together. So there's no meet cute. And they spend their entire.

[Poodle]

They're already bored.

[Ronnie]

I mean, this is the most realistic part of it to me.

[Ben]

So they're watching something about Hawaii, and. And he's like, whoa, let's go. She's like, to Hawaii? He's like, yeah.

[Dylan]

So hot. You can't do that. I know we had a magical moment where we reached for the pizza cutter and you have feelings for me, but maybe. I'm kind of worried you're gonna melt now. I don't know. Why does she care?

[Poodle]

This idea now she's starting to believe he may have some in her mind. I think maybe he does have some, like, problem where he cannot be in. In warm. Warm. In a warm climate. Like, she's really doing some rationalizing.

[Ronnie]

Well, but also, she's just doing the whole. Well, people don't do that because she's like, well, here's the thing. People who just met don't go on vacation together. Live your life. Like, who raised you. This is not how to live your life. Go. Go on vacation with someone you don't know. Why not?

[Ben]

Not literally. People do that all the time. And on top of that, like, this woman, I. I am very concerned for her because, again, she has this childlike person who's claiming to have been a snowman. She doesn't really believe it. She's already, like, in trouble with the law, and yet when they. Their fingers touch while reaching for the pizza cutter together, she's kind of, like, gets Kind of horned up in that moment. I'm like, really, lady? You're getting warmed up by this strange infantile person in your house right now.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Poodle]

May or may not have the brain of a three year old. Old.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Poodle]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Weird. There's. There's a lot of issues in this. There's a lot of creep factor issues in this. So then he's. She's like, thanks, Kathy. And she's like, I want to keep you safe, you know, but you'll get there fast. You know, you're a fast learner. And he's like, thanks, but he's moping. And so they go sit on the couch and she hugs him. Or. No, he hugs her and she's like, sorry, I'm just not.

[Poodle]

I'm not.

[Ronnie]

Just leave, Kathy. Go find someone else. Go be a snowman again and let someone else put a goddamn scarf. Because you, you really got some unlucky luck there.

[Ben]

Yeah, she. Yeah, he really like. God, it's. It's really a shame that Lauren. Holly was not the one given that scarf because she would have a feel.

[Ronnie]

Be riding him.

[Poodle]

Like, you know, it would just be like 90 minutes of her. This guy.

[Ben]

She would be a Mrs. Robinson with Benjamin.

[Dylan]

Oh, yeah.

[Ben]

Leg would be up and she'd be like, I'm gonna teach you the ways of the world.

[Dylan]

Yes. And then she would have to go to the crazy doctor because her vagina has hypothermia.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Dylan]

And then the doctor, the snow, it works for everybody.

[Ben]

This just snowman pass around town.

[Ronnie]

You know, I have a good movie. Let's bring Frosty the Snowman to life. Make him. And then pair him with the most boring person that was ever born in Hot Springs.

[Ben]

That's.

[Poodle]

That is so true. Her. Her personality is repellent. It is. Why does everyone like her?

[Ronnie]

Because she has food. That's why I always carry candy. You know, you can always make all.

[Dylan]

Yes, exactly.

[Poodle]

So she basically said.

[Ronnie]

Sounded weird, right?

[Dylan]

Yeah, yeah, I did.

[Ben]

By the way.

[Ronnie]

I carry candy because I'm a binge eater, by the way.

[Ben]

Also, I, I want to say this is also hilarious to me is that like. She's like, okay, well, after this hug, she doesn't like being hugged because she knows she's cold, guys. That's the theme. And so she's like, okay, well, good night. And he's like, well, what do I do tomorrow? And she's like, just watch tv. Just whatever. Just stay in the house and lay low. That should be the end of the scene. But then he's like, okay, and she goes, all right, bye. Writing 101.

[Dylan]

It was so weird.

[Ben]

The first thing they teach you is like, you don't have to say goodbye on your scene. No, that is. Bye.

[Poodle]

Bye.

[Ben]

Good night.

[Dylan]

Good night.

[Ronnie]

He also. He also is like, don't take the dishes. I'll do the dishes. Because he's like, the perfect man. And so now you know how to do dishes. Was that on tv, too? And why is she going to bed? If a man came to my house, house, cooked me pizza, and said, I'm gonna do the dishes, I don't care what happened to my vagina, I'd be that man.

[Dylan]

Yeah, I agree.

[Poodle]

Also, she still doesn't know if she can really trust him. This is still someone who may be a drifter who might steal from her.

[Ben]

Yeah, it's.

[Poodle]

It's all ridiculous.

[Ronnie]

But I mean, honestly, what is he gonna take?

[Dylan]

You know, what is he gonna take?

[Ronnie]

A working step.

[Dylan]

I'm gonna push back a little bit, Poodle, because you like a little bit of danger with your men.

[Ronnie]

True.

[Poodle]

But I don them. And they have to go to the. They have to go to the locked closet after we're done.

[Dylan]

There we go.

[Poodle]

Yeah. Yeah. So he hide my valuables. Yeah.

[Ben]

She goes to sleep.

[Ronnie]

Pass this metal detector on your way out, please.

[Ben]

She goes to sleep, and he stays up watching TV and starts watching a DIY channel where he learns about how to fix a roof and things like that. Does he need to sleep?

[Poodle]

Does that's the thing?

[Ben]

I don't think so. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Oh, he doesn't sleep. Sleep.

[Poodle]

I. I'm.

[Dylan]

I was asking. We never saw him sleep in this movie.

[Ronnie]

That's so weird, because they even opened the door. They even opened the door when he asked what a vampire is.

[Poodle]

So apparently he has a digestive system.

[Dylan]

Apparently only some food.

[Ben]

There's so many questions. I don't. I just don't feel like they built out this world properly. So Jack. Yeah, Jack is watching TV the next day, and. I'm sorry. No, he watched tv, so now it's. The next day, he just watched his home improvement improvement stuff. So now he's out on the roof, shirtless again, and he is fixing the roof and. Because he's excited to do things. And a car comes trundling down the street, and we see a shock of blonde hair, and we're thinking, who is this now? And it's Jane Miller. And all of a sudden, it turns out this is Lauren. Holly. Lauren. Holly is driving. And she looks at her with these glasses. She's got these Glasses. And she sees a shirtless stud on a roof and she's like, thank you, God.

[Dylan]

Thank you.

[Ben]

Christmas comes early.

[Ronnie]

Literally, literally crashes her car.

[Dylan]

Yeah, she literally stops, backs up her car, crashes our car. He superman slides down the ladder and that was unbelievable.

[Poodle]

This, this town is so under sexed. I don't know what's going on.

[Dylan]

I gotta say it his. I, I, I don't. I'm gonna say something and y'all are either going to agree or have a very visceral reaction to this. There's this close up on abs and his abs are on par to me to Brad Pitt's abs in Fight Club.

[Poodle]

Wow. Wow.

[Ronnie]

No, they were, they were serious abs.

[Dylan]

Yeah, they were serious.

[Poodle]

I think it also why he's so skinny is someone who like him. I think he probably did it like naturally. And that's what it looks like when you get so, so buff. Like some people don't bulk up and not familiar. He had, he had come gutters up.

[Dylan]

He did.

[Poodle]

Look at Ronnie's face.

[Dylan]

Everything you've never heard of cum.

[Ronnie]

That's called my belly button. I don't know what you're even talking about.

[Dylan]

Or a peen ravine.

[Poodle]

It's where the, it's where the cum just drains.

[Ronnie]

Oh, you are so disgusted.

[Ben]

It's like the bottom of a pinball machine.

[Ronnie]

Well, thank you for bringing it to that at least, Ben. Jesus Christ. You too.

[Ben]

Pinball machine that you want to. So the next day. So yeah, I'm sorry. So, so she's so, she's all like, you know, she's crashed her car. And he's like, are you all right? She's like, oh, I think I'll, I think I'll be fine. She's like, she's so excited. She can't wait to tell all the ladies because she has like, she want.

[Ronnie]

Me to push you from behind. She's like, yeah.

[Poodle]

Back at the brothel.

[Ronnie]

She's like, oh, yes.

[Poodle]

Oh, yes.

[Ben]

I was like, was she the one unpeeling her candy slowly at the movie theater?

[Poodle]

Yes, yes.

[Ronnie]

And she gets.

[Dylan]

How are you at electricity? And he's like, oh, I'm great. Great. And she said, I should have you work for me sometime. And he's like, I'm gonna get my shirt. Please don't, please do. I am. And I feel like I, I, I'm sad to admit this, but in the next scene where we see all these.

[Poodle]

Women sitting here, horny old ladies. Yeah.

[Dylan]

I, I wanted to ask you all a question and I'd like to hear everybody's Answer. Where did the costume department get these women's outfits?

[Poodle]

Delia's.

[Ronnie]

Eileen's basement.

[Ben]

I loved this group of women, and I felt like we deserved more of them in the movie.

[Dylan]

Yeah, it's because suddenly we were in. We were in Boca Raton, or.

[Poodle]

I just breathe.

[Dylan]

Like, the outfits.

[Poodle]

I don't know why these women were over there.

[Ronnie]

Guy. Guys come over and look, they're not gay. You know, like, women. Gay guys, like we were talking about earlier. We're so used to people who make an effort around us that we can just see penis or. Or abs or whatever, whenever we want to, really.

[Dylan]

I had a guy who mounted my curtains. He was really hot. And I told my neighbor, and she came up, and we hung out.

[Ronnie]

Hell, yeah. I've done that, too.

[Dylan]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Never mind.

[Poodle]

Wait, wait. They just. You just. You just invited this person that just did work for you, and they just stood around?

[Dylan]

No, no, not. He was doing work and putting up my curtains. This. And then I told my neighbor. I was like, he's really hot. I was like, you should come up.

[Poodle]

She's like, oh, I see. Just to ogle him.

[Dylan]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

While he does it. I met a neighbor when a guy from Glee, he's like, I was in Glee, and he came over and put up a ceiling fan a long time ago. And I called my friend over because he was really hot.

[Dylan]

Wait, was it Court Over Street?

[Ronnie]

No, it was. I didn't know who it was. And I watched Glee, so he was probably, like, very low on the Glee totem.

[Dylan]

Ronnie, as someone who has a lot of construction in your house. House. I'm always willing to come over. Just invite me if they're hot. Just.

[Ronnie]

Unfortunately, I didn't cast this out of central casting. You know, this was. This. This was not cast by me. Thank God. I would never get anything done.

[Ben]

So we're at the women I've all gathered just to stare at this hot guy. Because it's either the hot guy or it's like, there's really no one left in the.

[Poodle]

No, there's no. We've seen everybody in the town left.

[Ben]

To stare at in this town. Okay, so. So then he's like, okay, well, ladies, he turns on the light. They all applaud, and he's like, any. Is there anything else I can do for you? And Sheila is like, well, you know what? My son Brandon is the principal at the middle school, and they just lost their maintenance staff in a horrific accident with the town bridge. You just don't even want to see that.

[Poodle]

Okay. I was thrown by them. Like, what happened?

[Ben]

The entire maintenance staff. Well, they went on strike because they were not being paid fairly well wages. So anyway, I don't want to get political. Will you do the work instead? Could you be a scab for us, please?

[Poodle]

Yeah, it was basically that.

[Dylan]

And.

[Ben]

And then they lose their entire maintenance staff. Like, what happened?

[Poodle]

It is, I think, what they.

[Dylan]

What this movie really need. It needed like a snow NATO. It needed to begin with, like a really bad snowstorm. So then it would explain some of this, like, devastation and the snowstorm. There was just a magical snowmen there. That would have made way more.

[Ben]

Some horrific accidents that way.

[Dylan]

Yes.

[Ben]

The reason why the maintenance staff and why the husband are no longer with us is because there was some terrible squall of some.

[Poodle]

No, it's just the snow sculpture festival. That's it.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Maybe they got hypothermia during the. Trying to make their snow sculptures. Like, maybe it's a really dangerous competition that only. Maybe only the best get through, you know? So he's like, well, I gotta go back to Kathy's and finish up, though. And they're like, oh, she's lucky.

[Poodle]

Yeah, gotta go back to Kathy's, huh?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. He's like, well, actually, I'm the lucky one. God, I love people who refuse to smile. Bye, guys.

[Ben]

And he's like, can someone give me a ride to the diner? And they all are like me. So they take their ladies convertible.

[Poodle]

Yeah.

[Ben]

They show up. I imagine the car just like bouncing. That's what I love. Like Snoop Dogs.

[Dylan]

I really wish they were playing ladies from the 80s on this car radio.

[Ben]

That would have been crossover.

[Dylan]

Yes.

[Ben]

So he shows up at the cafe, and Kathy's like, oh, my God, what are you doing here? He's like, well, I was at home, but then Jane crashed her car and then she needed a light installed. And Kathy's like, why was Jane driving? She got a DUI two months ago. Her license is suspended.

[Poodle]

And then, of course, y'all. So he's putting the. He's drinking the water, putting it down his shirt. I. Do you do, you know, notice that this happens? He gets hot. But none of it ever really escalates. Like, it all kind of stays the same.

[Dylan]

Like, we never really see him sweat until the end when he dies.

[Poodle]

Right.

[Ronnie]

Well, it also doesn't make sense that the only place that the heater is working is the jail because he's in heated places the entire time and he's.

[Ben]

Always has to leave them. He always has to leave the heater.

[Dylan]

Kathy's cafe is hot.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, they have a full oven in there. And he was just cooking in a hot kitchen.

[Ben]

So they had fans. They had fans on. That's.

[Poodle]

It was, it was annoying.

[Ben]

And it, it's a little hot in here. Can you turn the temperature down? It's a little hot. It's like, it's like. You know what? How about you just learn to deal? You're not going to melt all at once.

[Dylan]

Look, your toes will go first.

[Ronnie]

Your wiener will be fine.

[Dylan]

They just. This would have been solved in a montage if we had seen him get a cold plunge. That's all he needed.

[Poodle]

And it's like, it's that. And I think I want to say probably some script person said, yeah, we need to kind of keep remembering that he's obsessed snowman.

[Dylan]

Don't let them forget he's a snowman.

[Ben]

He needs to ice packs. He could have had some ice packs. He could have pretended he got an injury. Stuff like that.

[Ronnie]

And why doesn't he have a pipe?

[Dylan]

Exactly. A corn cob pipe. Yeah. Again, when he goes to prom, I thought, oh great, they're gonna put him in a top hat because he's.

[Poodle]

Oh my God.

[Ronnie]

That's a good idea.

[Poodle]

The only time we saw that top hat, by the way, is the very beginning when it was blowing around.

[Ben]

Correct.

[Poodle]

And then it was, then was smashed. Like we're smashing the frosty fairy tale.

[Dylan]

Okay. I am gonna say I love that.

[Ronnie]

Three hours in, we're still like, this is so unbelievable.

[Dylan]

It's so unbelievable. I will say though, because we. Craig Robinson comes back up. I laughed pretty hard at this ice eating contest. That was very funny to me. When he comes in again, I think.

[Poodle]

This was 100% improv. I think this was. Yeah.

[Ben]

So they're sitting there and he's like. Because he sees him in the window and he's like, aha, a new person. So he's like, so Kathy, introduce us. Can you introduce us to our. Your friend? So they sit down and they're sort of having this tense interaction with Shaft.

[Poodle]

Music still playing, by the way.

[Dylan]

True.

[Ben]

And. And what I also loved was this the moment where Kathy says, okay, follow my lead.

[Poodle]

Yes.

[Ben]

Cuz she goes, okay, follow my lead. Hello there, officer. I'll be right back. And then she just leaves.

[Dylan]

There was no lead.

[Ben]

You didn't let him give him any.

[Poodle]

She let. She hung him out to dry. Yeah.

[Dylan]

So it's. The sheriff is asking Hunter or. I'm sorry, the sheriff is asking Jack question. And Jack, they bring him a Cup of ice like he wanted. And the sheriff's like, why? Why do you not have any beverages? And apparently that's a very like, tip 101 of crime solving. If they're not drinking beverages, then they must be.

[Poodle]

Something's wrong.

[Dylan]

And so he says, because I eat ice. And Craig Robinson's like, I eat ice. And then they do this contest, which is stupid and funny.

[Ben]

I don't think it little unsanitary. They were really just like putting their fingers right in that ice. Kept on eating. I was like, you guys, you know. Yeah, it's a little dirty. Little dirty. What's happening here. I didn't appreciate that, but it was very funny because they're like stuffing ice in their mouth. And you can see that Craig Robinson is about to. Is like trying not to crack up. Like, you can see the smile a little bit. And it was great.

[Poodle]

He tries to be rough about this, and he just has such a good time with it.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Poodle]

And that's why. Yeah. And that's kind of why the whole movie. That's why it kind of. Not that it falls flat, but just the concept of the stakes raising doesn't really make sense the whole way.

[Dylan]

Well, it also doesn't make sense. It also doesn't make sense that. Not now. First of all, I'm worried about the medical care in this town of Hope Springs.

[Ronnie]

But secondly, no one looks particularly healthy.

[Dylan]

No, no one looks.

[Poodle]

Mortimer is very sallow.

[Dylan]

Yes. Secondly, what? The kind of school system that they hire a man with no id, no birth certificate, no fingerprint security, and now he's gotten a job at the school for maintenance. This just sounds like a pedophile movie waiting.

[Poodle]

He got a job. He got a job working with children.

[Dylan]

Children.

[Ben]

It's not right.

[Dylan]

It's not right.

[Ben]

Sheriff Hunter is on to something. So then basically he leaves because Kathy's like, oh, we're late. We've got to go. So they walk out, but his, like, he's sweating everywhere. So now the Sheriff Hunter's like, I don't know. Do nice guys sweat through their shirts while questioned by the cops?

[Ronnie]

Ed.

[Ben]

And Ed's like, well, if they have a gland condition, yes.

[Ronnie]

So Kathy's like, you are in so much trouble. Do you remember the guy I told you about? That's him. You don't want to be on his bad side.

[Ben]

He's terrifying.

[Ronnie]

Streaking through the plaza, taking clothes. He just wants to take the first person who ever did that and put them in Guantanamo Bay. It's like, what?

[Dylan]

Well, maybe.

[Ben]

Maybe I should Be in Guantanamo Bay. I did steal some galoshes and broke a window. She's like, you can't handle jail. You can't handle. Handle 10 minutes in a lukewarm diner, you idiot. You handsome, handsome idiot. Take me now.

[Dylan]

Take me.

[Poodle]

I would have. That should have been better. But he does say, I got a job doing maintenance at the middle school. And he's like, I want to help people for a living, like you do. That's not what she does for a living.

[Dylan]

She does not do that for a living.

[Ben]

I mean, well, they do introduce casual stakes here where he's like, wait, are you saying I would melt in the jail? So now you know it's not just jail. It's a death sentence.

[Ronnie]

Drawn. You'll also package cheese for whole foods, if that makes you feel any better.

[Dylan]

Hey. So he says. He. He puts his snow foot down and says, I am going to school tomorrow, like it or not.

[Ben]

This is an issue.

[Dylan]

This is an issue.

[Ben]

But I want says, don't go to school. Don't go to school. Because.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Ben]

She's like, lay low.

[Dylan]

Lay low. And so they go home and. And they're fighting, and he goes to his basement room. And then she sees that he put up all the Christmas stuff. And I want to ask y'all, what the. Is this Jennifer Coolage clip from of her being Glenda the Good Witch.

[Ben]

Single all the way. I looked it up.

[Poodle]

It's.

[Ben]

I said, Jennifer Coolidge Christmas movie. I did some searching. Single all the way.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Oh, okay. So that's when I realized the clip earlier was from was Lindsay Lohan. I was like, oh, I see they're using.

[Dylan]

Oh, I actually watched that movie. It's with Michael uri and Luke McFarlane.

[Poodle]

And you forgot about it.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Because at this point, I had now realized that Lauren Holly was not a high school friend. Because she said, I've known this girl since she was born. I was like, okay, so she's not the high school. I still really thought. I'm not even joking. So that's when I realized that's what all came together.

[Poodle]

He has. He has fixed the leak there.

[Ben]

But there. This is their big fight that they're having right now. Because she's like, you will not get a job. You're gonna stay here and watch tv. And he's like, no, I wanna.

[Ronnie]

I wanna to help.

[Ben]

So. But then she sees the Christmas decorations that he put up without her permission. I'd like to add.

[Dylan]

Thank you.

[Ben]

And true. He's like, look, I don't know what's happening anymore any more than you do, Kathy. I could wake up tomorrow and be a puddle. So I just want to make the most of it with the time that I have here.

[Dylan]

It.

[Poodle]

It does feel. And I'm thinking existentially, you're kind of understanding who you are much better than anyone else in this town can.

[Ronnie]

But you also realize it's how temporary it is, guys. Life's fleeting.

[Poodle]

You don't know the rules. He doesn't know the rules either, so.

[Ronnie]

It'S like he does, though. He knows he's dead soon. He knows he's gonna sweat to death soon. I mean, I know that feeling. That's for sure. You ever seen live show?

[Dylan]

Yes.

[Poodle]

Oh, my God. In our live shows, I'm. I'm sweating. Oh, God. Our air conditioning. Our air conditioning went out in Columbus one time when it was 105, and they were. Yeah, it was not good.

[Dylan]

Oh, it smelled like. It just smelled like stale vodka on stage.

[Poodle]

I had to throw away some of the costumes from that. From that show. It was not good.

[Ben]

Yeah, that's.

[Ronnie]

That's really not good. Oh, yeah. You guys are in, like, full makeup, too. Okay. So he's like, kathy, I don't know any. I don't know what's happening to me. And so they have this, like, deep moment, and she's like, okay, I'm gonna drop you off, and you don't leave the school, and you don't tell anyone you're a snowman. And you certainly don't tell anyone you've got a dick and you're ready to use it. Well, you tell me that when I pick you up, but nobody else.

[Ben]

All right, we're gonna do a movie called Hot Frosty, where the snowman becomes the sexiest man you've ever met. And we're gonna put him into a middle school.

[Poodle]

Exactly. And there's no background check, no know nothing. He's just there around the kids every day.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, well, he's helping the theater kids build sets, which I really like, so they know their target audience.

[Dylan]

They do, they do. They do.

[Ben]

Yeah. I think this is where we get our rocking around the Christmas tree or. Or whatever.

[Dylan]

We get our. It was our first montage.

[Ben]

It was a montage that wasn't rocking around the Christmas tree, but it was the. It was like.

[Dylan]

I didn't know what music they was. This. The.

[Ben]

Maybe it wasn't this one.

[Poodle]

Maybe.

[Ben]

Was that montage?

[Dylan]

No.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Dylan]

Pretty Woman is when they go dressing shop clothes shopping. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

So he's helping around Helping the school, because the school, the. The toilets have been backed up for so many days now. They finally person. Finally, they. Apparently, there was no one in town willing to take this job, so.

[Ronnie]

Well, maybe that's why no one's nice to Kathy because she lost her husband, but apparently, like, 20 people just died in a horrible fire or something, and they're just like, well, we just. A new stranger. Yeah, we just found a new stranger to come along and do everything. We love him. Let's just not talk about all the dead people in town.

[Dylan]

So what? There's not a bridge anymore.

[Ben]

So she goes it.

[Ronnie]

So it led to the cancer hospital. Who needs it?

[Dylan]

Who needs it?

[Poodle]

The cancer. That was the only way to get to the cancer hospital, where we've got.

[Ben]

Dr. Dy in town. She'll help. She's like, we've got to tell everyone it's an honorary doctorate.

[Dylan]

So no cancer hospital.

[Ben]

So c. So Jack is. Kathy goes to pick up Jack from the school, and he's waving goodbye to everyone. He's like, bye, bye. Bye. And Kathy's like, sure you don't want to say goodbye to her cousin or her cousin's cousins? I was like, okay, listen.

[Poodle]

You're so miserable.

[Dylan]

What a. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

She's like, oh, God, it's just so weird I'm even here.

[Dylan]

Like, you know what.

[Ronnie]

What are you looking for down on kids for? You make chocolate chip pancakes one day a week for.

[Dylan]

And honestly, if they wanted her to be. Ride it in. Like, make her a cold make. And everybody knows she's cold, but everybody.

[Ronnie]

Loves her movie trope, right? Where it's like, the girl's a snotty daddy's girl. She's gonna ruin this town's company just for her to make her dad some money. And she's from the city. Yeah. And she's just gonna be a B word until she finds out what love is.

[Dylan]

Love it.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Poodle]

She doesn't really change at all.

[Ronnie]

You know, she.

[Ben]

She's like. I mean. What? I mean, everything about this. I mean, maybe I should run from the hills, because, I mean, look, he's nice. He's goodlook. He's like, wait, you think he's a snowman? She goes, of course. Everyone in town loves you. He goes, the whole town loves me. Wow. But they have even known me for that long. And you said, it takes a really long time to fall in love. So if the whole town loves me and you're in the town, does that mean you're in love with me? She's like, okay, okay, you know what? Relax, relax. I was just trying to have an existential crisis.

[Poodle]

Just having a.

[Ronnie]

Do you think it is like vampirism where somebody brings you to life and then you're tied to them forever? Because, like, look around. Like. Like, literally so many people that he could be with that are. You know, there's so many fish in the sea.

[Dylan]

Oh, he. It's. Yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie]

But, you know, whoever gives you the first accessory, you're tied to them for life.

[Poodle]

That's Scar Scarf.

[Ben]

Watch. What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King it's always automatic with Ashley Otto Ashley Savone.

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

Ain'T no shrinking violet cootar. We love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcast Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.

[Unknown]

They say Hollywood is where dreams are made, a seductive city where many flock to get rich, be adored and capture America's heart. But when the spotlight turns off, fame, fortune and lives can disappear in an instant. When TV producer Roy Raiden was found dead in a Canyon near LA in 1983, there were many questions surrounding his death. The last person seen with him was Lainey Jacobs, a seductive cocaine dealer who desperately wanted to be part of the Hollywood elite. Together, they were trying to break into the movie industry, but things took a dark turn when a million dollars worth of cocaine and cash went miss. Missing from Wondery comes a new season of the hit show Hollywood and Crime the Cotton Club Murder. Follow Hollywood in Crime, the Cotton Club Murder on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of the Cotton Club Murder early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus.

[Grinch]

Hello ladies and germs, boys and girls, the Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittany Broski and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville who done it. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery App, Spotify or Apple Podcasts.