# 2669 Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 4:

Summary

Watch What Crappens - Episode #2669: Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 4 Summary

In Episode #2669 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam, along with recurring guests Kathy and Dylan, delve into their humorous and critical analysis of the Netflix series installment titled "Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 4." As part of their daily podcast dedicated to all things Bravo and beyond, the hosts meticulously deconstruct the plot, characters, and production choices of the series, all while maintaining their signature blend of praise, ridicule, and evisceration.

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Overview of "Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 4"

The hosts begin by summarizing the basic premise of the series, highlighting its central character, Jack Frosty—a snowman who magically comes to life and interacts with the residents of a small town. The series intertwines elements of romance, mystery, and supernatural occurrences, set against the backdrop of a middle school dance and various town events.

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Character Analysis and Plot Critique

1. Jack Frosty’s Character Arc:

• Inconsistent Development: The hosts criticize Jack Frosty's inconsistent behaviors and motivations. They mock his inability to regulate his body functions, exemplified when Jack "starts sweating" and fears dying at the middle school dance.

• Notable Quote:
  Ronnie [04:10]: "Am I attracting you despite the fact that it's like talking to a six-year-old? Yes. Am I concerned about this? Yes."

2. Sheriff Ed’s Investigation:

• Ineffective Policing: Sheriff Ed is portrayed as overly obsessive yet ineffectual in his investigation of crimes in the town, such as the break-in involving a new glass pane.

• Notable Quote:
  Kathy [06:07]: "Installing glass is very difficult, and it is a skill. It is not something you can learn from HGTV."

3. Middle School Dance Scene:

• Awkward Execution: The depiction of the middle school dance is heavily mocked for its unrealistic choreography, questionable song choices, and the inexplicable use of a "throne" as part of the decor.

• Notable Quote:
  Ronnie [10:37]: "This movie could have used what's her name, who's also in the state, who's in Reno 911."

4. Kathy’s Role and Interactions:

• Lack of Supportiveness: Kathy is critiqued for her poor support of Jack, especially when he pleads for help to avoid arrest. Her dismissive attitude and lack of teamwork are subjects of ridicule.

• Notable Quote:
  Ben [28:28]: "She was so rude. And she's like, okay. I mean, I guess women are from Mars, men are from wherever the."

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Production Choices and Plot Inconsistencies

1. Musical Numbers and Dialogues:

• Poor Integration: The hosts critique the film's failed attempts at integrating musical numbers, with songs played live without voiceovers, leaving the audience confused.

• Notable Quote:
  Ben [41:44]: "It was a badly done musical number. And I love a musical number."

2. Character Makeup and Styling:

• Unrealistic Makeup: Jack Frosty's transition from a snowman to a human is mocked for its unrealistic portrayal, including the inexplicable acquisition of tattoos and inappropriate use of accessories like snowflake earrings.

• Notable Quote:
  Dylan [34:38]: "Just really yells and screams. I feel like you're the ID of her. I like it."

3. Plot Twists and Resolution:

• Forced Endings: The episode highlights the film’s convoluted ending, where Jack’s transformation into a human and subsequent death lacks coherence and emotional impact.

• Notable Quote:
  Dylan [68:59]: "That was my favorite moment... because they just leave him on the snow bank on the side of the police station."

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Humorous Observations and Running Jokes

Throughout the episode, the hosts employ a range of humorous observations and running jokes to emphasize the film’s shortcomings:

• Comparison to Classic Films: They frequently compare the series to iconic movies like "Pretty Woman" and "Where Are the World," pointing out the lack of depth and originality.

• Mocking Dialogues: The naturalistic yet nonsensical dialogues are a recurring target, with lines like "Why would he get earrings?" being lampooned.

• Physical Comedy: Physical aspects such as Jack Frosty’s "condemned underpants" and the impracticality of installing large glass panes are sources of ongoing humor.

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In wrapping up their extensive review, Ben, Ronnie, Kathy, and Dylan collectively express their disappointment with "Hot Frosty with Reality Gays Part 4." They lament over the film's failed attempts at blending genres, the lack of character development, and the disjointed narrative structure. Despite the numerous flaws, the hosts acknowledge the entertainment value derived from their comedic critique, turning the series' shortcomings into moments of hilarity.

Final Quote:
Kathy [69:37]: "Love you."

Hosts' Final Remarks:

• Ben: "That was the glorious Frosty Jack Frosty. Hot Frosty Hot Frost."
• Ronnie: "Happy holidays, everyone."

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Episode Highlights with Notable Quotes

• Middle School Dance Critique:
  Dylan [16:34]: "I literally thought they were earrings. You know why I think? Because I saw a huge, big mistake."

• Sheriff’s Inefficiency:
  Ben [07:02]: "But he learned how to."

• Plot Resolution Mockery:
  Ronnie [29:47]: "I'm sorry, what, did he die again?"

• Overall Film Flaws:
  Ronnie [63:08]: "Every single one of them is that like women. Don't, don't. Don't be ridiculous. And have."

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Watch What Crappens continues to deliver its unique blend of humor and critique, providing listeners with an entertaining take on reality TV and beyond. This episode stands out as a comprehensive examination of a flawed series, with the hosts' chemistry and comedic timing making for an engaging and insightful listen.

Transcript

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[Ben]

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[Ben]

Have you ever found the house of your dreams only to learn it has dark secrets?

[Ronnie]

Netflix's new series no Good Deed follows three families vying to buy a 1920s Spanish style villa that they think will solve their problems.

[Ben]

But as the sellers discover, sometimes the home of your dreams can be a total nightmare.

[Ronnie]

No Good Deed, starring Lisa Kudrow and.

[Ben]

Ray Romano, is now playing only on Netflix.

[Ronnie]

Watch what happen. So Kathy is having this existential crisis about how like the whole town loves him and everything and he's like but if the whole town loves me and then does that mean that you're in love with me, basically. And she goes, stop, stop right there. Okay? I used the wrong word. Okay, look. Do I think you're nice? Of course. Do I love, you know, seeing you help everyone out? Yes. Am I attracted to you despite the fact that it's like talking to a six year old? Yes. Am I concerned about this? Yes. Do we have a therapist in town? Only Dr. Dottie. Am I concerned about going to her for therapy?

[Ben]

Perhaps.

[Ronnie]

Is she my only option? This is my life, okay? This is my life.

[Ben]

So she's like, this is the reason I can't say love because my life is a mess. I don't take of my house. I don't take care of my butt. I don't even.

[Dylan]

You should see the state of my butt.

[Ronnie]

It's insane.

[Ben]

I have a bidet and I don't even use it anymore.

[Kathy]

Charming bears.

[Ronnie]

You don't understand.

[Dylan]

My butt is dilapidated.

[Ronnie]

I'm convinced that I can really love someone right now because I'm not convinced. I figured out how to love myself without.

[Ben]

Oh, you don't need to love yourself to love people. I've never loved myself. I can love anybody.

[Dylan]

Put a pin. Put a pin in that. That. She also says, even if you. Even if you were the person I loved, you're my tenant. I went, no, tenants pay rent.

[Ben]

Not in la. Not necessarily.

[Ronnie]

Suddenly she has like a. A moral code about the people crash on her bed and, like, learn skills from the tv.

[Dylan]

It's so weird. But she was talking about, I can't convince someone because I'm. I can't. I can't convince myself. I can't con. I can't love myself without Paul.

[Ronnie]

It's like, who's Paul? You know? You know, there was like an earlier draft where it was merely that she was the landlord and he was the tenant and the mayor was cracking down on, like, housing codes. But now the mayor's gone and the landlord situation's gone. So. But that was like a remnant that just floated through.

[Dylan]

She goes, I'm getting grief counseling from a snowman.

[Kathy]

What a.

[Ben]

So Jack's like, you know, I've got to thank Paul. Paul. I think Paul. That Paul probably saw the same amazing person that I see. And I've got to think, like, he wouldn't want this amazing person to think that this is anything less than amazing. You're amazing. You deserve a gold star. Yeah. Why is he acting like this? It's just so weird. Just put on a diaper, you little. Wow. It's fetishy. And Weird. I don't like it.

[Ronnie]

I don't know. I just don't believe anyone could love me as much as Paul loved me. I'll tell you, Paul loved me more than he hated Nancy Pelosi.

[Kathy]

I gotta say, I don't think anyone can love me as much as double stuffed Oreos and a glass of milk. That's love to me.

[Ben]

There have only been two men who've shown me consistent love. Ben and Jerry.

[Ronnie]

Okay.

[Ben]

Nothing better from the rest of you.

[Ronnie]

So now they're driving back. They're driving home after this. This moment. And then he's like, stop, stop, stop. The new glasses here. And he jumps out of the car and she's like, wait, what are you talking about? Because the. The. The thrift store, whatever. Reclaimed rags, is getting a new glass.

[Kathy]

Rambling rags or. Yeah, whatever.

[Ronnie]

They. I mean, they really expedited that glass because I don't think glass takes that. Is that going to get.

[Dylan]

Yeah, they had that. That would. That would have been like a really large. They would have to make that glass.

[Ben]

Specifically Amazon.

[Kathy]

That would take a while. He's helping them put it up. And I just want to say this. Installing glass is very difficult, and it is a skill. It is not something you can learn from hgtv. They never. And I watch. Yes, I watch a lot of. I'm an hgtv. I watch half of those shows. I love them. Never do they install a huge glass pane window. Because that's something for professionals.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Thank you. Thank you for finally advocating for window professionals. And on top of that, it's about.

[Ben]

Time somebody stood up for those people.

[Dylan]

We do find out that he says, I ordered it from the store. And she. And we also realized he doesn't know how money works. So this is the other thing. He's not sure how currency, because he didn't.

[Ben]

But he learned how to.

[Kathy]

But he learned how to order something on the Internet.

[Dylan]

Yes.

[Kathy]

But he doesn't know. I don't know. Did he learn Safari or is he using Opera or Firefox?

[Ben]

How did he get all the passwords to put in there without a fingerprint or something? I mean, whatever.

[Kathy]

But he doesn't have fingerprints. But he doesn't have fingerprints. So he can't.

[Ronnie]

Well, honestly, like, knowing Kathy, she probably has a really sad password. It's probably just like Paul.

[Dylan]

It is. It is just Paul. All lowercase.

[Ben]

Yeah, that's all. That is so sad.

[Ronnie]

So he's like, watch her type it in. So he's.

[Dylan]

They're. They're confessing. He's confessing to the store owner all of this stuff, and they're just kind of looking him going, yep, okay. And they're like, keep the clothes. No one can be mad at Christmas. And then I went, you needed it.

[Ben]

More than you have a problem. I'm so sorry.

[Kathy]

That.

[Dylan]

And they didn't notice the scarf. They didn't even notice.

[Ben]

Oh, that's a good point.

[Ronnie]

That the scarf at this moment.

[Kathy]

Yes, because that would have been a moment where Mel could have gone, said, I saw the scarf.

[Dylan]

The whole movie for me.

[Kathy]

She was. Yes, that she, like, she was by Frosty when she was 20 years old, and it's the best snow she ever had.

[Ben]

She's like, you may not remember us, but I remember you.

[Kathy]

Yeah, he.

[Ben]

Her.

[Kathy]

And froze all of her vaginal warts all in one hit.

[Ben]

Oh, right. Good Lord.

[Ronnie]

So then. So me.

[Ben]

But yeah, she didn't give a. This lady. And then she like, hey, wait a second. So. So you stole. It's like, yeah. She's like, oh, that's cool. You're hot. And he's like, wait a minute. But I didn't pay for that either. She's like, we literally don't care. We're hippies.

[Ronnie]

He's like, okay, I never like those galoshes.

[Dylan]

This is a front. This is a front. Yeah.

[Kathy]

Yeah. It feels like it's a front for just like.

[Ronnie]

It is. It is a front.

[Kathy]

Swingers.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So Kathy is watching him in the store, and then all of a sudden, the deputy sheriff Ed, he, like, sneaks up, and then they have this comic thing where, like, he's, like, looking for Jack, and she's going to try to distract him, and she's like, oh, me over here. Come to my. Come to my diner. You should come to the diner, because they want. They really want to get a. Oh, there was a sketch. Okay, Ethel. There was a police sketch that was made. I don't think Ethel gave the description, because if it had been Ethel, like, the sketch would have been way hotter.

[Ben]

Yeah, the. The. The sheriff, she gave us a. She said she gave us a description, but we needed something of his face.

[Ronnie]

It.

[Kathy]

It looked terrible. Like, this guy had, like. He looked. It was like dark circles under his eyes. His hair was crazy. And then he looks the way you.

[Ben]

Guys described him in the opening of this movie, actually.

[Kathy]

Well, then. Because, like, your friend feel like he's about to die.

[Ben]

Guys, the way you guys describe this poor person at the beginning. Were you giving the description to the sketch artist?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Iggy Pop has popped.

[Dylan]

Iggy Pop. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Is very giving a lot of Iggy pop in this moment. So. So she distracts him because she's like, I. I like this moment. She's dragging him into this. She wants to distract him away from Jack, so she's gonna bring him into the diner. And she goes, hey, how does a bowl of soup sound? And, Ed, this was so weird. And I was like, what's happening?

[Kathy]

What? This was a weird comic. This didn't land.

[Ronnie]

I. This landed for me very much so. Oh, so Pop.

[Dylan]

He went.

[Ronnie]

I think I was like, what are you doing? I think he's like, oh, this is what a bolo soup sounds like. Yeah. I have to say, I think he's from the state.

[Dylan]

Wasn't he. Wasn't he in the state or. Yeah, he was in the states.

[Kathy]

Yeah. I'm glad you liked for me. I thought it was hot.

[Ronnie]

This movie could have used what's her name, who's also in the state, who's in Reno 91 1.

[Dylan]

Carrie Kenny.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

This. What. This movie is really weird.

[Dylan]

Weird character actors. We could have used more weird character actors.

[Ronnie]

I know. I'm gonna say this. My theory is that she had Lauren Holly's role, and then she had the dropouts. They got Lauren Holly because actually, a Carrie Kenny role, if you think about it.

[Kathy]

Y.

[Ronnie]

We have an announcement to the audience. Ronnie is getting furniture delivered.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So he will be away from us for the next five minutes of the recording. So it will just be us soldiering on without him during this very important movie.

[Dylan]

He's like one of the. One of the maintenance men. He died on the bridge.

[Ronnie]

Yes. Died on the bridge in action.

[Kathy]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

Okay, so. So Kathy brings Ed into the. Into the restaurant, and she. Alert. She lures him in with promises of chowders and beef barley soups. So. Yes, this is true. So then. Then the sheriff walks in and he. See. He goes up to the thrift store and he's like, well, the new glass looks good, but don't worry, we'll find out who broke in, because you can replace glass, but you can't replace the pain. To which Mel says, we actually didn't replace the pane. We have a whole new pan of glass here.

[Kathy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dylan]

Why would I want to replace pain? It's just. I gotta stay.

[Ronnie]

This was. This was Mel's big comic moment. You know, this.

[Dylan]

I gotta say, in a. In a Hallmark movie, this. This interchange would not have happened. And it was helped by. I don't know if this was written or what. Or. Or they just played. I Can't believe a moment like this. It's. It was tonally not like the rest of the script. I can't. Maybe it was improvised or I, I don't know.

[Ronnie]

But yeah, because he goes, no pain. P A I N like pain. Like the pain you feel. And she goes, well, why would I want to replace.

[Dylan]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

She's like, oh, she gets very deep. I loved it.

[Kathy]

Very.

[Ronnie]

Like. It's a metaphor. Okay. I'm just trying to have a scene here, so. Oh, my Lord, it's a metaphor. I know what I meant. What's important is. Okay, leave the metaphors around here to me.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And by the way, who installed this glass? Because I'm, I'm, I'm carrying on a very important investigation about.

[Kathy]

Well, there are a lot of shots of him holding it going, like a lot. So clearly he did, but there was no one else. You didn't see anyone else do it?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So she's like, you know, Jack did it. Kathy's friend. And he's like, well, I wonder why he would do that. I have to say, this is not great police work. I feel like this is. No, this is. These are not hot leads, I would say.

[Kathy]

No, no, it's very shoddy. It's. Again, again, if there was a gay man who made the snowman who is out for snow vengeance, he would then put in the sheriff's ear to say, look, maybe the, Maybe the gay. The gay man is the mayor. The gay man is the mayor.

[Dylan]

That would, that would, that would work for me.

[Kathy]

Listen, Sheriff Hunter, if you want to be up for election in six months, you better find this.

[Dylan]

Find my snow hunk, because I gotta.

[Kathy]

Ride that snow dick like a holly bell before New Year's Eve.

[Ronnie]

But instead, the sheriff is just like, really driven to get. Make sure there's no crime in this town whatsoever. We don't know why he's driven by this, but he is determined. I mean, these people don't even want to press charges. They don't care. No, the storyline has actually been settled. The entire arc of this story, it's done. He already confessed. They said, no big deal. Have a great day. The movie basically is over.

[Dylan]

Yes, the movie is over. Then he's decorating for this dance and then he sees this kid asking, trying to ask another girl to the dance. And we, I, I said, who the are these people? And I was just kind of like.

[Kathy]

In this weird chair.

[Ronnie]

Is this the chair scene?

[Kathy]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

Sitting in this weird throne. So he's kind of hidden from these two kids that Are asking. We've never seen these two teenagers. Yeah, forever.

[Ronnie]

Was this. These. The kids? He. There was a moment during the montage where he introduces someone to someone. Maybe he. He introduced these two people together.

[Dylan]

It was so slight, something like that, but it.

[Ronnie]

It was.

[Dylan]

It was very little. And her. Her name, by the way, she's never named. Her name is Katie. Like in Mean Girls. Oh, yeah, same spelling. C A, D, Y, K A, D, Y.

[Ronnie]

So he's.

[Kathy]

So what was his name?

[Ronnie]

The thing.

[Dylan]

His name was Matthew.

[Kathy]

Oh, yeah, it was that.

[Ronnie]

They didn't want to push it, so.

[Kathy]

They didn't want to get sued.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So he's sitting in this. In this throne kind of thing that kind of, like, hides him, and he's clearly about to overhear something. So you think, oh, he's gonna overhear something that's gonna move the plot forward, right?

[Dylan]

No, it's just him asking her to the dance.

[Ronnie]

It's one child asking another child if they want to dance. And then they hold hands and walk out. And so he's like, oh, okay, I've learned how to ask someone. Cool, cool. Now.

[Dylan]

Now I gotta ask her.

[Kathy]

Now he knows how to ask someone because he would never know. They just should have. Why couldn't they just shown a Christmas Netflix movie of him watching someone ask someone out that they've been doing? Because they only did that twice. And if they really wanted to do a correct callback, that would have been a perfect third moment for that clip.

[Dylan]

But, you know, it would have been nice location.

[Kathy]

This guy never read Truth in Comedy ever.

[Ronnie]

But also, like, how about have the student ask him? Be like, hey, hey, Jack, there's a girl I like. I want to ask her out. How do I do that? He's like, well, I don't really know.

[Kathy]

Great idea.

[Dylan]

Let's watch a Netflix movie.

[Ronnie]

And then they like. And then, like, he guides the kids. He's being this kind of more.

[Kathy]

This is great.

[Ronnie]

And then it's sweet and it's lovely. And then he, like, gets inspiration. He's like, well, if the kid can do it, I should be able to do it too. But instead, he just. He just lingers in a. In a random throne. That makes no sense. I don't know why that throne is part of the middle school dance decor, but it's there. He's hiding in it, and he overhears and decides he wants to do the same thing.

[Dylan]

Sidebar. Have your middle school dance ever been that elaborate?

[Ben]

Oh.

[Dylan]

Oh, my God.

[Ronnie]

It was. It was just like, you go to a Community house. And then they play like CNC Music Factory. And like the boys dance here, the girls dance here. And you make this weird.

[Ben]

We had a pretty elaborate one once. It was. Our theme was White Tonight. Nights in White Satin. I'll never forget it. And like, the decorations were incredible. And I still can't think of that song without being kind of traumatized because I was like, I'm not going to that. But then I saw everybody going and I was like, wow. So glamorous. I could have worn a ball gown. And I just gave it up.

[Dylan]

For what?

[Ben]

To sit at home and watch Facts of Life again.

[Ronnie]

I just listen that song yesterday. I used to be very coy at those dances. I would sit on the side and be like, I want someone to ask me. Not realizing that, like the way it works is the boy is supposed to ask the girl.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

Oh, no. See, I got very involved. I would plan the entertain because our prom was in the cafetorium, so. Which was a cafeteria slash auditorium. It's where we had choir practice, but sometimes it would get interrupted by the lunch. Do it in a hotel.

[Dylan]

They didn't do it like a ballroom or something?

[Kathy]

No, because if you went off school campus, then Baptists would be worried we'd have sex. So they kept it all on campus. But ours was hypnotized. The Moon, which was a clay Walker country song. And I organized the entertainment and I was very involved in the entertainment. So I didn't have to worry about my date who wanted me to make out with her and go to an after party. And I was.

[Dylan]

Was terrified. That foolish girl, I was like, she.

[Kathy]

Said, do you want to come to this after party? And I said, I said, I can't do that. I gotta take down the choir. The choir steps. And then I have to go to that. To the Long Road Baptist lock in, which was right across.

[Ronnie]

And then I gotta hide in the locker room and watch the football team come back in.

[Kathy]

Oh my God. Yes. Yes. Oh, God.

[Ben]

The lock ins were the worst.

[Kathy]

Mine was great because half the guys took off their shirts to play. Shirts and skin. It was the best prom up.

[Ben]

Hey, I got robbed. What the hell? Yeah, we just.

[Dylan]

We just would. We just hid in. Hid in different rooms of ours and just hope people wouldn't find her.

[Ben]

Hope you wouldn't find her. What's going on in your church? Lock ins.

[Dylan]

And we just hid bodies all the time. Oh, where you get locked into the church? It's this basically so you can kind of supervise each other. And you. You want to make it because idle hands each other.

[Kathy]

I'm sorry, Jewish. You don't understand this weird.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I don't know any of.

[Dylan]

And usually it was a church. You kind of got locked in with the church.

[Kathy]

They would often do carnival games like a corn hole or like. And then church leaders are there. You would get a prize.

[Dylan]

And then they proselytized you and you learned about religion.

[Ben]

Salesman for Jesus to kids. Like they. They put all the kids in the church and locked them in.

[Ronnie]

Sounds like a. It sounds like a timeshare experience kind of. Yeah.

[Ben]

It was a soul share. You give up your soul to them and your parents give them 10 of what they make. I went to one and it was like a new plate. My mom wanted us go with some neighborhood kids and. Or like country club kids or whatever and she put us in there. We had never been to this church. It was like a new lock in thing. So we go in there and they're like, guys, we are no longer going to have this youth group. And the kids were like, what? But why? Because you are getting too far from Jesus Christ. You are straying. We have heard that you are kissing. We have heard that you are going to parties. Pastor curfew. This is not what we do here. This is not what. They're like sobbing. And then all the k kids around us started sobbing. Get the out of here. And we couldn't. We were stuck with these crazy crying idiots all night long.

[Dylan]

Yeah, they locked me.

[Ben]

The other kids were like this.

[Kathy]

Please tell me you follow Christopher Ryne Stamy on Instagram or Tick Tock.

[Dylan]

Oh, it's so funny.

[Kathy]

Have you seen that? He's this southern guy that does these different voices of people, but he does the church wigs. He does. He's in wigs and he does the church lady that always cries during the.

[Dylan]

During the announcements.

[Kathy]

She's like.

[Dylan]

And everybody.

[Kathy]

I just want to let everybody know that we need a behind a church. Brother Timothy has got his cancer treatment and you know that van doesn't fit.

[Ben]

If we're parked there.

[Dylan]

And it's amazing prize during the church announcements.

[Ben]

Funny. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

[Ronnie]

This episode is sponsored by Doordash.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

And honestly, there's so much to watch on Max from True Detective the Last of Us Succession. There's really so much that I would Want to watch while I have my doordash deliver me stuff?

[Ben]

I love watching True Detective and I actually haven't seen the Jodie Foster season, so I'm starting that tonight. I'm so excited to get into that.

[Ronnie]

Sign up for a Dash Pass annual plan and get Max included at no extra cost.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Today, the LGBTQ community is at a crossroads with our loved ones and hard won rights increasingly under attack.

[Ben]

For decades, the Human rights campaign has been at the forefront of the fight for equality in the face of discrimination and harassment.

[Ronnie]

With the support of people like you, HRC fights for a world where lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people can live openly and thrive free from fear.

[Ben]

If you're ready to support the fight for equality, to donate today, visit HRC.org give that's HRC.org G I V E.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Dylan]

Are we to the point where he's walking in the police station?

[Kathy]

I don't know where to.

[Ronnie]

He walks in the police station and so the sheriff has put up yarn all over the. Like this obviously true detective style, and he's like, it's a tangled web and I just need a bigger picture. I just wish I had a photo of Jack. He's in this somehow. I know it. And. Well, because you know what? Because earlier he had walked down the street and he had walked. I think he. Right before this, he had walked by an atm. Is this where he was? By the atm?

[Dylan]

I think that was when he said, there's the ATM machine. He. He says, yeah. Oh, yeah, I need that.

[Ronnie]

He was like, all the cameras were off, but not the a. So now he has like a printout, but the printout's not good enough. Meanwhile, you're a police officer. You can literally just go find him and take a picture of him. But luckily he doesn't have to do that because Jack just shows up and he's like, hey, what's going on? Hey, cool art picture, cool art project. You're just taking pictures of people in town. He's like, I am. Would you like me to take your picture? And he's like, yeah, let's do it.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

This made me laugh. This was funny.

[Dylan]

This was fun. He's got a flip phone.

[Ronnie]

He's like, yeah, from like an LG. Like the LG I had in 2005.

[Dylan]

I don't get that.

[Kathy]

I don't get why he has a flip flop phone, but sure.

[Dylan]

So then he like, he's asking the deputy for advice because he's like, because I've never been on a date before. And I'm like, because you were born like four days ago. And he's like, how can you date? You're a 10. And then we have this discussion about what it is.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

The deputy is like, yes, and I'm.

[Dylan]

Not on your level. And he's like, are you kidding? Your smile, your mustache. And they go, this whole thing about pockets and, and he goes, it would. It really hugs your chest. And he basically says, he does.

[Kathy]

Says those brown. He says, quote those brown lapels, emphasize your chest. I don't know how he knows what lapels are again, but whatever.

[Ronnie]

Well, he was watching like D. The DIY channel, so I think it's a good chance he could, he could pick.

[Kathy]

I don't think they talk about lapels on Hometown.

[Ronnie]

Well, they should, they should add. And Ed at this point is thinking like, do I have a shot with this guy?

[Dylan]

I know, like the test, like in.

[Ronnie]

A long time thinking about it.

[Kathy]

Okay, did y'all. And so then he says, I don't know what to do about kissing. And he kind of explaining how to kiss. I, I don't know if it's because I'm a flaming homosexual, but I think just for the, for the plot, I really wanted them to kiss a little bit and this guy to fall in love with her.

[Ben]

Wacky. This was their wacky. Like, well, let's make a gay, like a gay insinuation scene.

[Kathy]

I know. And that was so stupid. And I'm like, if they actually had kissed, because that would have been much more.

[Dylan]

That would have been much better.

[Kathy]

Why does the snowman. Why does a snowman need to be straight?

[Dylan]

Right.

[Ben]

That's what I was saying at the beginning. This should be a gay man who's like learning to. Who's like very cold on the inside. I'm available.

[Ronnie]

And then Holly and her posse of, of middle aged women could watch and say, well, ladies, I guess we should have known this would happen to the martinis, you know, it would have been great.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Dylan]

He what, what the. What the deputy tells. Well, you know, if you're having. How does. Here's how you date. If you're having fun and you're paying attention. If she's having fun, you're gonna be okay day.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Dylan]

That is the date philosophy. And that's when they. And that's when they're practicing, they. Then they start practicing dancing. And the sheriff says, he's like, what in the world is going on in this town?

[Ben]

By the way, the sheriff is named. The sheriff deputy is named Ed Schatz.

[Kathy]

I personally think detective shots. I think they should have kissed. I think they should have kissed. He should have fallen in love with Jack Frost. And then sequel, at the end of this movie, he realizes that's not this. So he. We see him making his own snowman with a twinkle in his eye. And cut to hot Frosty, too, with Chris Evans.

[Ronnie]

He was the one who made it. So now we go back to Kathy's house. I loved this moment. Please tell me you guys all notice this. We go back to Kathy's house. Jack walks in. Or Kathy, someone walks in. But Kathy's like, jack, I have the funniest story to tell you. Jack, what's going on? He's like, hey. He's like, okay. So Mrs. Johnson ordered one special. And he goes, sorry. Sorry to interrupt. I know you were showing a glimmer of a personality, but I have something more pressing to talk about. She just. Whatever.

[Dylan]

Mrs. Robinson was ordering the special, you know, it was a terrible story, too.

[Ronnie]

He's like, I was. I'm only about three or four days old, but even I have learned.

[Dylan]

Even I was checking out during that.

[Ronnie]

I can't listen to any more of.

[Ben]

Your M. Johnson stories, okay?

[Dylan]

I can't have this.

[Kathy]

If.

[Dylan]

I swear to God, if there's no one more Mrs. Johnson story, I'm gonna.

[Ben]

Throw myself in that microwave. I'm gonna put a birthday candle in my head and light it.

[Ronnie]

Every single thing has been about Jack. And Jack learning this. Learning about pizza and about the oven. She finally has something to share about her life. He's like, yeah, yeah, never mind. Anyway, I've got something to talk to you about.

[Ben]

She was so rude. And she's like, okay. I mean, I guess women are from Mars, men are from wherever the. And he's like, well, I'm just so nervous this. But I want to say, will you go to the school's Christmas dance with me? And she's like, what? You're going to a dance at a school? He's like, I'm the chaperone. It's like my job. Kathy, you want to go with me?

[Ronnie]

She's like, oh, well, I. I have. And he's like, you've probably been asked by someone. She's like, no, because I'm not in middle school, so it would not be normal for me to Be asked to a middle school dance.

[Ben]

But I don't date actual middle schoolers. Just.

[Dylan]

Just mental ones.

[Kathy]

Just mental ones?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. I don't have a date to the middle school because I'm an adult. I have other activities to do.

[Dylan]

And she basically. Then he says, kathy, I've been trying to lay low like you wanted.

[Ben]

It's just so obvious. But also hilarious.

[Ronnie]

No, I haven't been asked. It's not because I'm lonely. It's just because I do things like read books or watch tv. I have a car. I can drive. I can go shopping. I can go check in to see if that bridge has been fixed.

[Ben]

Last time I dated a child was on accident because I ordered something named Claire on Wayfair. I mean, Jesus Christ.

[Kathy]

Or no one asked you because you're a.

[Ben]

Poor, poor Kathy man. Kathy can't win.

[Kathy]

I'm sorry, poodle, you were saying?

[Dylan]

I was trying to do this dialogue that he. This line that some.

[Ronnie]

That.

[Dylan]

That the screenwriter went, oh, this is great.

[Ben]

Great.

[Dylan]

Yeah. He went, good one. I've been trying to lay low like you wanted, but for once I just want to stand tall with you. Even it's just one night.

[Ronnie]

Please, for once. He's been lighting up this town for five straight days and he's gonna act like he's been laying low.

[Ben]

Please, sir, I want to stand tall with you. What does that mean?

[Dylan]

I don't know. I don't know what that means.

[Ronnie]

He's going to stand tall and stand proud. Cuz voices that care are.

[Dylan]

Voices that care Are crying out loud.

[Kathy]

Are crying out loud.

[Dylan]

I know it.

[Kathy]

It was in my hair.

[Ben]

Isn't it?

[Dylan]

Voices that care, I believe.

[Kathy]

I don't know.

[Ronnie]

Stand proud.

[Kathy]

But when you sit. When you said Santa, that's where my head went and I went. Nobody else is gonna know that. So I'm not gonna sing it, but I wanted to. So the fact that we all. Ronnie didn't know what the we were doing.

[Ronnie]

I had no idea.

[Kathy]

But the fact that you.

[Ben]

I'm actually proud of myself. I'm actually proud of myself for being the least gay of all of us.

[Dylan]

Stand proud.

[Kathy]

Maybe sang that song.

[Ronnie]

It was for Desert Storm and it was the great, like, sequel to Where Are the World.

[Dylan]

And yeah, it was supposed to be.

[Kathy]

Voices that Care by David Foster, so.

[Dylan]

It was a David Foster song. Yeah, the world sequel.

[Ronnie]

I recently rewatched that, like, video like, I don't know, maybe two or three years ago. And the number that's not recently, honey, as opposed 15 years ago. Okay. And the Assortment of celebrities that they gathered for this. This song is so hilarious. And I'll always remember Meryl Streep in the front just singing along. I think they had Celine Dion. They had like, just some randos like Nelson I think was in it.

[Dylan]

Weird.

[Kathy]

You know what? I. I don't really want to be famous, but I want to be famous to do stuff like that where I can just show up and do coke with a bunch of celebrities and lip sync.

[Ronnie]

Like Kim, Kim. Kim K got to be on We Are the World. She had one hit. Betty Davis eyes. She got into We Are the World as a result of it. And now she gets to like when I watch that, the greatest night in pop and they have like, you know, all these huge stars. Michael Jackson. Kim K's got. She. She just struck a big at the right moment. I just enough to be part of.

[Kathy]

She did.

[Dylan]

She did have one song. Yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

It was a good one though.

[Kathy]

Yeah, it is a good one.

[Dylan]

Eddie Davis size.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

All right. Okay. So she says yes and she's like, but Jack, what are you gonna wear, dude? And I went. When you first heard. I went, wait, this is a pond 5. They looked up Pretty Woman. This is gonna be a pond five song.

[Dylan]

No.

[Kathy]

As soon as Roy Orbison started singing.

[Dylan]

I gotta say they spent three minutes of this movie doing this. And I was shocked. And, and, and I, I also wagered there was probably 30 seconds of just clothes being slow mo throw up in the air.

[Ben]

But I'd like to point out that they were all jacket based clothes. And he never had a problem with that.

[Ronnie]

Never.

[Kathy]

Well, that's what happens when you get great value. Stanley Tucci and he was designer because.

[Dylan]

That'S who that guy was wearing. He was also. We scarf the whole time. And it didn't go with any of the outfits.

[Kathy]

Anything.

[Ronnie]

No, no. The scar came back and he was. I was hoping they were gonna give him like a haircut, like the proper makeover.

[Kathy]

No, it's like.

[Ronnie]

Well, it's just like watching him go to like, I don't know, like, like Jose Banks or something. Like whatever.

[Kathy]

Like let us have the moment where he's kind of maybe a sloppy dress the whole time or kind of. And then they clean him up and she goes, oh, I wanted snow dick in me. Like at least have that moment looks the same.

[Ronnie]

Exactly.

[Dylan]

And they basically do the pre. Woman. They do the pretty woman thing with the earrings and sheets. Was it cufflinks?

[Kathy]

Why the you're so gay?

[Ben]

Why?

[Dylan]

I thought that too.

[Kathy]

Snowman earring.

[Dylan]

I thought that too. I was like, why would he get earrings?

[Ronnie]

You think that Kathy in this small town is gonna say the last part.

[Dylan]

Of your makeover is snowman earrings? That makes a lot better sense that they're cufflinks. I did not even think about him being committing couplings.

[Ronnie]

And it's so excited.

[Dylan]

I literally, I literally thought they were earrings.

[Ronnie]

But either way, I don't know why she did the Pretty Woman gag with him. Is he like supposed to represent, like, what is it?

[Ben]

Is he a hooker? I didn't really understand.

[Dylan]

He didn't know. He didn't know maybe he'd seen Pretty Woman in this time since I don't think he sleeps apes. I've glumped. I'm glad I still. I did think they were earrings. You know why I think? Because I saw huge, big mistake. I thought he. I thought he was opening it, like to give it to her for a minute. But she was the one giving it to him.

[Kathy]

Oh, that's stupid.

[Ronnie]

She's like, here, the last piece, some negligee. So they do this whole thing like water all over him just to get into like, you know, a blazer. And. And then he's like learning how to do a bow tie. And she's wearing a dress like a perfectly okay I.

[Kathy]

And the three people, two people. Watch this. This was some shitty ass dress.

[Dylan]

This was, this was nothing special. It really didn't show off her boobs or her body shape or.

[Ben]

It was just because she's so boring. She's just like, I'm gonna wear what, what an adult would wear to a school. Like a chaperone dance. You supposed to show up like it's your prom. You know, like you're supposed to like make it romantic. But she's like, I'm gonna wear a sweater.

[Dylan]

He's like, wow, look at that dress. That's. That's not a. It's like not even a wow dress.

[Kathy]

It's a basic Amazon dress.

[Dylan]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

It's like a slip dress or something. It's like, it's so. It's just so unremarkable. But then I also would if she wore like a. A beautiful, beautiful dress to a middle school dance. I also would have some issues with that. Like, why are you trying to dress?

[Ben]

Well, she. But at least she's making an effort, you know? Here's how I feel. I feel like this is kind of like a closeted gay relationship where it's like your first boyfriend and you're just so happy to have a boyfriend that you're like oh, my God, your jogging pants are so fancy. Like, I can't wait to go to the Olive Garden with you tonight. And then you go and you're like, this is it. You know, because you're in your small town and you're like, he's so hot. He's like the only gay guy here. I lucked out. And then you go to a place with a lot of gay people and you're like, fuck that guy. Was he in jogging pants and took me to an Olive Garden? Fuck him. I hope he dies in a fire. I think that Frosty is going to end up that way. Thinking about her that way. Like, that girl. She was terrible. She wore a sweater to the dance. Probably that.

[Dylan]

That felt strangely, like from your past.

[Kathy]

Yeah. Autobiographical. About me. You have an so you never overate on bread six in an Olive Garden because you're dating?

[Ben]

Never at all. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Ronnie]

So then he. He's like, guess what I. I got. Remember how I bought that very expensive piece of custom glassware with your money? Credit card.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

I also got you something.

[Dylan]

Okay.

[Kathy]

Why wouldn't they have a scene where he goes in and tells Mel he wants to get her something special? And Mel has a snowflake jewelry.

[Ben]

It probably brings him to extra life. Then he just turns into two of himself.

[Kathy]

Yes.

[Ben]

Well, here. Here's what I'll tell him. This is the. Here's what I'll tell this lady. Kathy. Kathy, welcome to dating someone hotter than you. This is your life now.

[Ronnie]

The gift is her abs. That's it.

[Dylan]

You ain't gonna get no more gifts.

[Ben]

I brought you gifts with your credit card.

[Ronnie]

Here you go. Yeah. He goes, well, I just figured it might be nice to commemorate our time together. It's a snowflake. Because I'm a snowman. And I swear to God, I thought he was gonna say, because I'm a snowflake. I've been doing a lot of. I've been watching a lot of Fox News, and I'm currently on the Snowflake.

[Dylan]

And I'm really triggered by all this. The next thing is he gives it to her. And like, she.

[Kathy]

He.

[Dylan]

He, like. We had this moment where he might do something, but he, like. Oh. And he, like, touches her breast and, like, moves it over.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God. Because. Okay, so. Because she puts on the snow. The snowflake. The necklace has a big snowflake pendant. She puts it on, and the pendant is up at the top, clavicle to the left, and he's like, hold on, let me fix that for you. You mean to tell me this woman, who is 42 years old and has worn jewelry all her life did not realize her heavy ass pendant was on her shoulder? Like she was just gonna walk out of the house like that? He's like, wait a second.

[Dylan]

But this idea that he would be. If he Even he hasn't kissed her, if he's. He would be okay with actually touching the area near her breast.

[Kathy]

Well, he would know. He's a snowman.

[Ben]

He was naked the whole time. He doesn't have any modesty like that.

[Dylan]

But that's the thing. It's. There's.

[Ronnie]

There's those doctor hands too, by the way, because he's got that cold body temperature. That's like a doctor hand on our clavicle.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah. That's also something that's super weird. In the beginning, he was ice cold, but now it's, like, nice. When he touches you, it's weird. So then he. She's like all. She loves a necklace. And then someone's like, hey, are you ready for later? Let's do our secret dabs. So they do the dab thing, and they're gonna have a secret dance later, guys.

[Dylan]

Did y'all.

[Ben]

It's gonna be majestic.

[Dylan]

Did y'all notice that? I only did because there was. There was. There was as closed captioning. The song that was playing was. I actually wrote it down. Gold dust on the ground Nights half over now Soft touch open hands Love won't understand.

[Ronnie]

It was actually fun to appear in the Wicked movie, but it got.

[Dylan]

I have no idea what any of that means. And why is it being played in a middle school day dance?

[Ben]

Those kids are sick. At least it wasn't. You in your face. You in your face. I'm gonna. Your stupid face. Have you listened to music on the Tik Tok?

[Dylan]

I have. It is.

[Ben]

I'll take some poetry, so.

[Dylan]

You're right. So Brandon, the teacher there, I forgot who he was.

[Ronnie]

He's the son of Lauren Holly, I believe.

[Dylan]

The son of Lauren Holly. And there's another girl there. He's like, ready. And that's when you said they did the. And that's. She's like. And they're gonna. They're gonna do their group dance. And Brandon's like, we love him. We never did a background check, but the kids love him too. See? See him sitting. Sitting on their. His laps all the time? It's really interesting.

[Kathy]

Yeah, it's really great.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, we have this, like, slow dance moment where they're gonna be like. So, like. Because the two kids that they go, they have like a slow dance and. And by the way, learning that the boy is the son of the sheriff and the sheriff is not even chaperoning this guy this cares so much about crime. You would think he would be like, I don't want my son getting up to any funny business. No touching. At the middle school dance.

[Dylan]

He would be footloosing, like, yeah, also.

[Kathy]

This dance was trash. And I'm not a great dancer, but I would do better than this. This was trash.

[Dylan]

I also.

[Ben]

Well, they didn't even play the music. I was like, what. What is the music playing? It was like in an echo chamber. I think they played the music live.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Ben]

And they didn't, like, have a voiceover of the music. So we, the audience couldn't really hear the music. It was just some weird. It was not. It was a badly done musical number. And I love a musical number.

[Ronnie]

Yes, it was a strange group dance, I think solely so that way it could be put in the trailer maybe. But it was bizarre. But then Jack is dancing so hard that he starts to sweat. And then he's going, he's gonna. He's gonna die. He's gonna dance to death.

[Kathy]

Well, they look, realizing she looks at an ice sculpture and she sees the ice sculpture melted. And she goes, oh, no, that's.

[Ronnie]

She's too dumb to understand what the temperature is. Oh, wow. That's where I. Or is it cold in here? I don't know. Let me look at that sculpture.

[Dylan]

I believe in her head, that is what she's decided, that he became a snowman.

[Ben]

That.

[Dylan]

That is. That was the moment where she said, oh, he needs to be outside because he's an actual snowman.

[Ben]

Yeah, she saw the litter. She needed the literal snowman represent.

[Dylan]

She needed the actual literal snow. Snowman to figure that.

[Ben]

Yes, well, and also he told her at the beginning of this dance, he pointed to the snowman, said, look like somebody you know.

[Dylan]

That's right. He also drew a small snowman too, in the doctor's office, if I remember.

[Ronnie]

That, and said, look, yes, he did commercials.

[Dylan]

Here comes one right now.

[Ben]

Audible's best of 2024 picks are here.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Brilliantly subversive James Audible.

[Ben]

There's more to imagine when you listen.

[Ronnie]

I actually am really excited to HEAR George Orwell's 1984 again because I. Last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it.

[Ben]

On audible, especially when it's told by a full cast like that, like it's a full production. That's going to be like a radio play, you know, that's major. Go to audible.com crappins and discover all the years best waiting for you. That's audible.com crap ins.

[Ronnie]

We know you're listening because you can't get enough drama.

[Ben]

But there are some things that should stay drama free, like getting birth control.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Your gift to Planned Parenthood helps all people, no matter their race, sexual orientation, gender identity, zip code, income or immigration status get affordable, high quality care without judgment, stigma or drama. So don't wait. Make your gift now@planned parenthood.org protect they do this whole, like, flash mob thing, whatever. And so she's like, okay, you got.

[Ben]

Come on. Tell you something. I know this is 10 hours. There are workmen here right now removing a hot tub that was left over from the last house. And they're like, we got it, we got it. It's no problem. I said, have you ever done it? And they're like, no, but I'm sure it's totally fine. Nothing to worry about. Please just go do your work and don't worry about this. So I come back up here, I have this ring camera and it keeps giving notifications. And you just see them running back. It's like, ding. And you just see a little guy running.

[Dylan]

Oh, no.

[Ronnie]

Something that's going terribly wrong on your.

[Kathy]

Something's going terribly wrong, Ronnie.

[Ben]

Whatever. At some point, you just get used to it. It's every day. It's always.

[Kathy]

Oh, God.

[Ben]

All right. Sorry to interrupt you.

[Dylan]

He basically says, let's go outside for some air. She says, and she's like, I've never had so much fun. Dancing is so great. Life is so great. And she's like, I'm just cold out here, just miserable. Like, just throws cold water on everything. And he's like. He starts rubbing her shoulders, like, does that feel good? Y. You had a normal body temperature.

[Ben]

Yeah, no kidding. She's like melting him to death.

[Dylan]

I didn't say that. Keep rubbing. Ah.

[Ronnie]

She's like, it's worth it.

[Ben]

I like the new character.

[Kathy]

Yeah, I like that.

[Dylan]

Mean, just. Just really yells and screams.

[Kathy]

I feel like you're the ID of her. I like it.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And then he's like, you know what? Let's. Let's get you inside, little lady. Princesses shouldn't be out in the cold.

[Dylan]

Yeah. She's like, fine.

[Ronnie]

So then they go inside. Then they. They go inside because they're about to kiss. They're about to kiss. They're about there. They're about to kiss. And he's like, no, no, let's get you back inside. We shouldn't be making out at a middle school dance. So then she's like, was it. Was it something, Everything you said?

[Ben]

Well, it's certainly nothing you did. I mean, it's like everything you said and everything you did. There's nothing to keep me here. But he gets all emo and runs inside, and she's like, was it something I said? And he's like, no. I mean, it was your breath, but still. This has been the best night of my life. But the truth is, I can't do this to you because I know what. You know what it's like to be left behind. You're still gonna die and leave her behind. Whether you.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Or not. You may as well leave her with you.

[Kathy]

I can't do what? A Capricorn.

[Ben]

Yeah, you. You tease.

[Ronnie]

Okay, this is boy behavior.

[Dylan]

It is.

[Kathy]

Literally.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

He's learning. He's learning quickly, I'll give him that.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Ben]

You may be a snowman, but at the end of the day, you still a man. You see?

[Ronnie]

So she goes, it's okay. You know, for someone who has no relationship experience, you're one heck of a romantic. He goes, I thought you weren't a hugger. And she goes, I make an exception. I'm not gonna lie. I got really horny just now. Let's take this to the next level. But then can you check the janitor's closet?

[Dylan]

The Shaft music hat happens. And the sheriff is back to. To see. He sees. That's when. That's when he sees the atm.

[Ronnie]

Oh, this is what it is. Because he's.

[Kathy]

Oh, they're just running back and forth on the video.

[Ben]

They got it. No, they got it. They're good. They're getting it.

[Ronnie]

So he's. Oh, that's right. Because before he was just taking a picture because he just wanted a picture of Jack for no good reason. But now he's walking and he's like, trying to figure out this. He's trying to figure out this crime. He's like, who are you? Some youthful prankster? Are you deviant? Stimulated by the freezing cold? Your naked flash long. You see the face of the elderly horrified by your exposed nether regions. Oh, hi. Sorry. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

[Kathy]

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

[Ben]

Merry Christmas.

[Ronnie]

Hi.

[Ben]

So then he is looking around the scene of the crime, and he's like, you like that art, don't you, monster? And he comes across the atm and he's like, wait a minute. That has a camera on it. I got you now, you son of a bitch. So I was thinking, oh, my God, he's gonna get him turning into a snake snowman. Because if he has ATM camera and it's pointed right at where he was the statue, he's gonna see him turn into a. No.

[Ronnie]

From us.

[Dylan]

No, it's just him streaking again.

[Kathy]

He would have seen him turn into a snowman, and then he would have gone to the Ronnie. You missed this. We decided that the gay villain is also the mayor, and the mayor is making him prosecute. Find the. Find the snowman. He would have gone back and said, no, he's a good snowman. And the gay queen says, that's it. Here, you little. You're gonna get him. You're gonna put him in jail. Then I'm gonna a snow dick.

[Ronnie]

Now let me say something.

[Dylan]

Shade button.

[Ronnie]

I would like to. I would like to say something. This sheriff has enough. Has enough connections and wherewithal to be able to pull a video from an atm, which means you have to go through certain processes, fill out some forms. And yet he does not have the ability just to go into Kathy's diagram diner, which is where Jack is currently in the kitchen cooking up food. So Jack is there. Like, all he has to do is walk in there. But Jack is there and he's. He's making eggnog for the diner and. Or for the cafe, I should say. And he's got fans all on him in the kitchen because it's hot in the kitchen to keep him cold. And he's like, I want to bring this eggnog out to the people. And she's like, but it's hot. It's hot in the dining room. She's like, I know, but I just want to say hi to everyone.

[Dylan]

Ah, anybody but you.

[Ronnie]

The stakes are so high right now, guys. He's willing to risk his life for that eggnog.

[Dylan]

She says, then she's like, everyone, this has become my favorite tradition the night before Christmas. So now we know where we are. Family. So apparently everyone's just here on Christmas Eve. We're just family co workers. She's making her people work. No one's there with their. No one's there with their families. That.

[Ben]

This is why no one likes this lady. I'm telling.

[Dylan]

Gonna fill up my offers.

[Ben]

The reason the whole town's there is because they have a family member that she's forcing to work there. They're like, okay, I guess we'll just do Christmas at the sweet potato place.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, well, we have family and friends. And then co workers. And then the sheriff comes out of the bathroom and goes. And criminals. We've all been wondering who committed the crimes. And that's when Lauren Holly's like, was he wearing sunglasses in the bathroom?

[Kathy]

That was great. I swear.

[Dylan]

I swear to God, I don't know if that was written or not.

[Ben]

And Kathy's like, wait a minute. How long have you been in the bathroom?

[Ronnie]

He wants to make an entrance. You guys, I'm out here every day working for you, keeping you safe. And what do I get? Never a thank you. Always a giggle, a patronizing remark. Since I've been sheriff, we haven't had a single murder in hopes for rings. And they're like, well, we've never had a murder.

[Kathy]

Mel's like, we haven't had anything in a hundred years.

[Dylan]

There's 34 years.

[Ben]

And it's Mel who's saying it. She's like, we haven't even had a murder in a hundred years. You probably killed whoever you got that scarf off of, and that's why it's still under.

[Kathy]

And Lacy Chabert says it's Christmas Eve and what? And Craig takes his glasses and this is where he should have looked at the camera because he says, crime doesn't take a holiday.

[Dylan]

This was a direct camera address moment.

[Kathy]

Yeah, he should have done that. I would have loved that.

[Dylan]

This is where to me, this is where he. Jack says, it's okay. Me saying, sorry, it's not enough. This is where for me and Ronnie, this activated my part of my brain, where this is like Jesus being taken in, like, being arrested and saying, you guys, I'm doing this for you.

[Kathy]

So Craig Robertson is Pontious pilot?

[Dylan]

Yes, yes, exactly.

[Kathy]

Sure. Okay, great.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Kathy]

Right.

[Dylan]

And I think either that or he's the one. And I think. Think she's of course, Mary Magdalene. Yeah, yeah. And it's. She should be Judas, though.

[Ronnie]

Judas.

[Dylan]

Yeah. I'm Sorry. Christ, I betrayed you.

[Ronnie]

So Jack is like, I. I broke the.

[Ben]

I got $3 for charging extra at your mom. Normal.

[Dylan]

Oh, God, what will I do now? Now I'm a go hand myself with the other AMS AGMs.

[Ronnie]

Jack is like, listen, I broke the law. I have to accept the consequences. They're like, well, the consequences are that you're being arrested for lewd behavior. I'm going to be on the sexual predators list. Okay, you know what? Actually, I'm going to rethink this for a moment.

[Kathy]

Than us. He's different than us. He can't be in a prison. And then you see. Did you see, like, the one black man extra in the back who is dabbing his eyes because apparently this is making him cry? Y'all, the extra. The extra works. Extra work was giving on this.

[Ronnie]

I mean, it was just buggy.

[Dylan]

The doctor was also.

[Ben]

There was also a really pasty, bald white guy in the front who just kept going, darn it.

[Kathy]

Yes, it was. I encourage people watch the scene, but then go back and just watch the extras, which is what we did, because we were.

[Dylan]

Love it.

[Kathy]

We were starting to get high at this point when I was watching the movie, and we laughed and laughed because is it. Is it is Ardmore little feeder extra.

[Ronnie]

Wow.

[Dylan]

That is. That is a layup level also.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So, you know, so Mel is like. You know, he's. He's different from us, Nate. This is. Mel's the thrift shop lady. And then Nicole, I guess Nicole's the waitress, I think. I don't remember who Nicole is. She goes, what do you mean different? And then Dottie. Dr. Dottie, off of three martinis and five eggnogs, steps forward. Well, he's a snowman that magically came to life. Remember that muscular snowman from the snow sculpture festival? Remember the one? All us. You.

[Dylan]

I know.

[Ronnie]

This group of ladies remembers. It happen.

[Dylan]

I'm a doctor.

[Kathy]

She said, I'm a doctor. I'mma see y'all at the QAnon meeting next week. I'll be there.

[Ronnie]

Jane Jay, like, Zodadi says this legitimately crazy thing, oh, he's different because he's a snowman that magically came to life. And everyone goes, oh. Jane goes, I thought he looked familiar. That explains why he's so comfortable without a shirt on. Okay, this all makes sense.

[Ben]

Like, what the hell? Everybody believes that he's a snowman. They're like, it's Christmas, girl.

[Dylan]

She goes, it's Christmas. And that's when I went. That's when I Wanted, metaphorically threw up all my papers.

[Kathy]

Well, Mel says to her, she says, well, a man that sweet has got to be magic, don't you think? And then I thought, no, that's fair. I. That's when I would believe. Because men are pigs. And. And so I don't believe that he is a snowman.

[Ronnie]

And she's like, you're right. He is a sweet man. In fact, that reminds me, I've got to tell you the story, Jack. He's like, sorry to interrupt. I don't care about your story. I am very sweet.

[Dylan]

Oh, then, so later on this, where he's being fingerprinted and he's like, you burned your prints off?

[Ronnie]

Ah, he has no fingerprints.

[Dylan]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

So it's hot. And so he's like, sweating. And he was like. He was. You burned your prince off? And Jack is like, no, I was born like this. And then Lady Gaga enters, makes a surprise cameo dance break. It was one.

[Kathy]

They could afford it.

[Ben]

She's like, I'm sorry. I would sing, but I'm an actor now. So. Yeah, this. This whole, like, hand wringing over what's going on with the snowman. So then, of course, she comes in and she's like, you better let my man go. Please, Please don't crucify him. And he's like, oh, he's gonna say he showed his wiener to people behind a scarf. But still she. Now he's like, you better give me the bail of $2,000.

[Ronnie]

Well, also, when Kathy storms in to confront the sheriff, she goes, nathan Aloysius Hunter.

[Kathy]

Again, I don't know where they this guy gets his names, but sure.

[Ronnie]

And the sheriff is now losing his mind because he's like. He's a sleeper agent. Yes.

[Dylan]

Everyone's gone nuts. Really.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, okay, it feels crazy.

[Kathy]

But then when you think about it, makes sense.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So then she's like, fine, I'm gonna go to the restaurant. I'm gonna see if I've got two grand in the safe, which I probably do since I'm the only business that seems to be operating in this town. Right back, right back.

[Dylan]

You should make that in a night. That's the thing that would have been in your till.

[Ronnie]

You're not spending any money on repairs. Yeah.

[Ben]

Let me guess. Your sweet potato pie sucks.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Your car, 1977. Your stare would have still be broken if it were not for a match.

[Dylan]

You're a miser.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. You're not.

[Dylan]

You're not doing anything.

[Ronnie]

You got money. Okay.

[Kathy]

And he says, I'm Going, Craig, Craig. Rob. The sheriff says, I'm going home. You can bail him out on the 26th.

[Dylan]

That is the cruelest thing possible. Just.

[Kathy]

She's like, no, no. And she says, you're. And he said, you're lucky I don't lock you up. And then. And then because. And Christina, you better make a meme of this for our. For our social videos. Craig Robinson says, hell, we might make a podcast out of this you're welcome show. You are welcome. We just did it. Only five hours long. We did it.

[Ronnie]

She's like, you're lucky I don't punch you in the face. But I haven't punched anyone in the face since my husband died.

[Ben]

I'm sorry, what, did he die again? Bruise.

[Kathy]

A bruise.

[Ben]

Cancerous bruise. Cancerous bruise. After he fell down the stairs. The cancer stairs.

[Dylan]

Exactly.

[Ben]

I think Kathy killed her husband and.

[Dylan]

The owl attacked her. The owl attacked him?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, the owl. So Jack is very ill. He is sweating. Yeah, he's dying and everything. And Kathy's like, he needs I sweater. He's sweating. And he's like, well, sleeper agents are trained to regulate their body functions. Not my problem.

[Dylan]

He. He has actually lost his mind at this point.

[Ronnie]

He thinks that he's a sleeper agent. It.

[Ben]

Who.

[Ronnie]

Like Russia, United States. By breaking glass and shrieking.

[Kathy]

Yes. Yes.

[Ronnie]

So Kathy's like, I just. I don't think I. I don't think he. I don't think I thought this through. But just in case I don't make. I'm sorry. Jack is saying this. He's like, in case I. In case I don't make it. In case I die here in this jail cell like so many other heroes of this country.

[Kathy]

She's like, no, listen, the other snowman.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

She's like, savior. Just in case cases. I'll be right back.

[Ben]

She runs back to the restaurant, and she looks. And she doesn't have enough money, but she's going to try it anyway. And he's like, I will not take your less than $2,000. And guess what happens? The entire town shows up and they're like, you free our prisoner.

[Dylan]

They say, give us Barabbas, Give me.

[Ben]

Pop or give me death.

[Ronnie]

So then she goes back to the diner. Well, she goes back. Back to the. Actually, she doesn't even bring up. She doesn't even rally the town, which is, by the way, how shitty she is. She's like, hold on, I'll get the. I'm going to go to where the entire town is, and I'm going to find my Money. And she goes, she doesn't have enough money. She doesn't even ask anyone to help out. So she comes back, she's like, I've got $84. He's like, well, that's not enough. And then, but then the town is like, no, no, no. Cuz doesn't the town come out? Don't they like.

[Kathy]

Town comes out and they're rallying around her and there's starting to put all this money and they put it in a hat. And then because he's a cheap, he's sitting there actually counting the money in the hat and he says, you're $10 short.

[Ronnie]

The. The child arrived. Turns out the child is the son. It's a twist. It has very little anything to do with anything. And. And he's like, come on here, dad.

[Kathy]

What a lit dick of a story.

[Ronnie]

And so then he's like, I'm help. He's like, what are you doing? What are you doing here? He's like, I'm helping. Helping dad. It's like. And then the sheriff is like, this man did a bad thing. He's a sleep rage from Russia trying to. Because he's my friend. Well, you shouldn't be friends with adults like that. So I would reconsider that if I were you.

[Ben]

So they finally get him out and then Jack comes out. But it's too late, guys. Jack dies. He dies in the snow.

[Ronnie]

He comes out, he's like, oh, you know, they lay him down in the snow on the snow bank on the side of the police station. So that way the cold brings him back to life, but it's too late.

[Kathy]

I wish she would have actually melted like like that person like that drinks the wrong goblet in Indiana Jones. That woman.

[Dylan]

The, the. The budget would have never done that.

[Ronnie]

But here's what I love. They leave him on the snow bank. They realize it's too late. He's gone. He's dead.

[Dylan]

The doctor goes, kathy, he's gone.

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Ben]

They're like, leave him, Kathy, step away. We're leaving now.

[Ronnie]

Just leave him in the back. They just leave him on the side.

[Dylan]

Dead body.

[Ben]

They all. The entire town is like just body.

[Ronnie]

A dead body. They leave a carcass on the side, the sheriff will burn it.

[Ben]

And the most unrealistic thing here is that nobody was like, hey, wait a minute. Give me my money back.

[Dylan]

No.

[Kathy]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Dylan]

Well, mor. Mortimer did want his money back.

[Ronnie]

Mortimer tried to come. Yeah.

[Ben]

Well that's good. Good for him. He's like my wife almost that dead person I want my 20 back at the very least.

[Dylan]

So she does. She kisses him, then takes the scarf. Then he's awake.

[Ronnie]

Well, because they all start walking. Well, because they.

[Dylan]

The kiss was the magic. Magic.

[Ronnie]

Because of life. Like sh.

[Kathy]

Saying I gotta say whenever that everybody's walking away from him. And then you hear Kathy and the entire town again. Like community theater goes. And all turned to look at him and I lost.

[Ronnie]

We all agreed. We all agreed. No one say her name today. Kathy. Who said her name?

[Dylan]

Who was that?

[Ronnie]

Oh my God, it was Jack. We forgot to tell Jack about the rule. Don't say Kathy's names today.

[Ben]

Well, Jack is still with us. We don't know why. And guess what? He's not only back to. He's not only reanimated. He feels hard and he feels. His skin hurts.

[Dylan]

He's uncomfortable stiff down there.

[Ben]

Yeah. He's like, my nuts are like. They're up in my throat right now. My skin hurts. She's like, you're cold. Oh, he's cold.

[Ronnie]

He's cold.

[Ben]

I'm not the only frigid person in this relationship anymore. Okay? I love you.

[Kathy]

I love you.

[Ben]

You.

[Ronnie]

And Mortimer's like, I'm cold. She's like, shut up.

[Dylan]

Shut the up.

[Kathy]

Shut up, Mortimer. And then we get.

[Ben]

So he became a real man all because she.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Cold. Oh, get it? Coldplay.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Ronnie]

So apparently. So we have a nice little Pinocchio.

[Ben]

Twist here and would have been cheaper.

[Ronnie]

They should. Yeah, they really. They should have done.

[Kathy]

That is a vaudeville joke and I respect that joke.

[Ronnie]

What about Ice Anything by Ice Spice. Come on.

[Dylan]

I spice something. That's too edgy. They couldn't have gotten her.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, they would never. But so now he's like. He is now like. Not only is he now warm blooded, but he also lost all of his skills. Cuz now Kathy's doing the repair.

[Kathy]

Yeah, she's fixing the heater.

[Dylan]

Did you guys notice at the very end when they kissed, he did become a real man.

[Ben]

He's like not exactly.

[Dylan]

The doctor kisses the teacher and then everyone else starts kissing like in the background. Everyone now it's like broken the curse. Now everyone can everybody.

[Ben]

Love is the mailness. We should spread it, y'all.

[Dylan]

Do you notice he. He inscribes that book that he. That, that, that, that, that, that book with. With that says home repairs. And he says, I know who your second love should be. It's you.

[Ben]

Yourself.

[Ronnie]

Oh God, don't do that.

[Dylan]

I hated that.

[Ben]

What a. I hated that too. And does this mean you're Cheating already or what? He's like, guess what? I'm not gonna love you. But you should love yourself, okay?

[Ronnie]

You should repair yourself. I have to. By the way, what's the name of the, what's the name of the woman? Something mixing. What, what's her, what's her.

[Dylan]

Katie Mixon.

[Ronnie]

You know what she was, we talked a lot about Craig Robinson, but she was also, she was fantastic going to town. She was in every scene she was making these little faces. She was like, like she was just, you know, she was, she did look.

[Kathy]

Different colors in some scenes because some scene she was very bronze. And then in other scenes she was not.

[Dylan]

She was, she was making the most of what she had.

[Ronnie]

The.

[Dylan]

Everyone was working really hard in this movie to elevate the material.

[Kathy]

The most unrealistic thing in the entire movie for me was the fact that this woman did not have $2,000 in her bank, but that she was suddenly going to buy tickets to Hawaii over Christmas. Do you know how? Imagine that's a ten thousand dollar trip.

[Ben]

Well, listen, she wasn't willing to address to go into her savings for some like melting dick, but now that it's real dick, she's, she suddenly had it. You see how it works?

[Ronnie]

Listen, she's like, oh, he's still an idiot. I'm taking him to Rebecca Hoboth beach in Delaware and I'll just tell this.

[Ben]

Wife I'm thinking of the hamburger, her Hamburger Hut. You know.

[Ronnie]

I want to, I want to bring something. I want to bring up a very important point. When Jack was dying on the side of the police station there and the entire town rallied to put in the few scraps, even the children put in a few dollars to save Jack. Let me tell you something. There was one person who did not put in a single dime because she didn't even bother to show up. Chrishell. Where was Chris?

[Dylan]

Where was, where was, where was her favorite customer?

[Ronnie]

Favorite customer apparently decided not to come in on the traditional new, I mean, Christmas Eve meal and help out the town snowman. So I don't know. I would rethink Chrishell's loyalty to you because I don't think it's going both ways.

[Ben]

Yeah, she's probably home monitoring her child that she's locked in a crate for eating a pancake or with some chocolate chips in it on the day.

[Ronnie]

She's like, she's like, susie, you put me in an awkward position asking for that chocolate chip pancake on a Tuesday. I, of course I had to say yes because I don't Want to be a. But maybe next time you think about what this does to me before you ask dumb questions.

[Dylan]

And now, one Tic Tac, two Tic Tacs, three Tic Tacs. There we go. That's it for dinner.

[Ben]

You're done. Well, that was it. That was the glorious Frosty Jack Frosty. Hot Frosty Hot Frost.

[Dylan]

Frosty. Do you. Do you guys think the. To me this was the worst possible way this could have ended was with him becoming human and because it feels like she needed a man all along. It wasn't.

[Ronnie]

These movies are. Every single one of them is that like women. Don't, don't. Don't be ridiculous. And have.

[Kathy]

It would have made more sense for them to get married. And she became a Snow Queen because she's a.

[Ronnie]

Then they moved to Greenland.

[Kathy]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

By the. The way, like, he was not long for this world because it was going to get warm soon and he was going to die. So they had to do a workaround. They had to make him become a human.

[Ben]

Yeah. Or like he just died. And then she was like, well, I.

[Dylan]

Never learned to get on with her life.

[Ben]

Yeah, no, that's probably too sad. But yeah. The whole becoming a human, it's almost like they're devaluing snowmanship. And I didn't like that. I didn't like that. They were just like, well, that's not valid. You know, I mean, humanity become humid. Yeah. Like the only dream is to really become human. And I think that he was the happiest thing on there and he wasn't human at all. So why did we have to bring him down to our level?

[Dylan]

Definitely demoted himself. Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah, he did. And she ruined it by kissing him. She gave him the human cooties and turned him into a human. I mean, it's actually just become a horror movie if you're. If you're a snow person and you're watching this. This is some zombie. She just burned him. And now he's. He's like. To them, he's like dead. He's a monster, you know, and now it's going to happen. They're like, oh, my God, are they going to come for our children next? Watch out for the kissing frigid lady.

[Kathy]

Yes.

[Dylan]

And then there's a bunch of bloopers, y'all. And that's one of the best parts of the movie.

[Ronnie]

Bloopers were funny. I was with them.

[Kathy]

They were great.

[Dylan]

That's the movie. That's our 11 part series.

[Ronnie]

Well, it only took five hours for us to get through it.

[Ben]

So I think this is our longest one ever, actually.

[Kathy]

I think so, too.

[Ben]

I literally have a whole new house of furniture and a hot tub removed. And a roof. I've got the roof done today. I mean, it's been a very busy day over here.

[Kathy]

Very busy day.

[Ben]

Thanks for. Thanks for putting up with that, you guys. And thanks for doing this. This is such a lovely tradition.

[Kathy]

It's a wonderful tradition.

[Dylan]

Thank you, guys.

[Kathy]

Wonderful, wonderful.

[Ronnie]

Thank you for listening and making it through this enormous marathon. And we will catch you next year doing the same thing with a whole new shitty, amazing.

[Kathy]

Yes. Happy holidays, everyone.

[Dylan]

Happy.

[Ben]

Bye, everybody.

[Dylan]

Love you.

[Ben]

Bye.

[Ronnie]

Watch what Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King it's always automatic with Ashley Auto.

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[Ben]

She ain't no shrinking violet. Coutar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.

[E]

Hello ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittney Broski and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real who, Bill Whodunit. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery App, Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

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They say Hollywood is where dreams are made, a seductive city where many flock to get rich, be adored and capture America's heart. But when the spotlight turns off, fame, fortune and lives can disappear in an instant. When TV producer Roy Radin was found dead in a Canyon near LA in 1983, there were many questions surrounding his death. The last person seen with him was Lainey Jacobs, a seductive cocaine dealer who desperately wanted to be part of the Hollywood elite. Together, they were trying to break into the movie industry. But things took a dark turn when a million dollars worth of cocaine and cash went missing. From Wondery comes a new season of the hit show Hollywood and Crime. The Cotton Club Murder. Follow Hollywood and Crime, the Cotton Club Murder on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of the Cotton Club Murder early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.