#2625 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E07: Tender Disses

Summary

Watch What Crappens Episode Summary: Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E07 - "Tender Disses"

In Episode #2625 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the latest installment of Below Deck Sailing Yacht Season 5, titled "Tender Disses." Released on November 19, 2024, this episode unpacks the chaos and comedic mishaps that unfold aboard the luxurious sailing yacht, providing listeners with a blend of insightful commentary and unabashed humor.

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1. Episode Overview

The hosts begin by setting the stage for the episode, emphasizing the recurring theme of boat instability and crew-member frustrations. They highlight the persistent issue of the yacht tilting, which leads to everything from spilled items to frustrated crew members struggling to maintain order.

Notable Quote:

• Ben (04:44): "Yeah, below deck sailing. Another season, another boat crash."

2. Crew Dynamics and Conflicts

A significant portion of the discussion focuses on the interpersonal relationships among the crew, particularly highlighting tensions between the captain, Glenn, and the chef, Cloyce. Ben and Ronnie critique Cloyce's self-proclaimed title as the "most reliable chef on the west coast," dismissing it as a hollow accolade comparable to a high school yearbook superlative.

Notable Quotes:

• Ronnie (09:40): "I love reliability. I've never had it, but I love it."
• Ben (10:26): "Being named most reliable chef... sounds like the yearbook superlative."

The hosts also delve into Emma's performance, portraying her as extraordinarily lazy and incapable of meeting the yacht's demanding standards. They express skepticism about her ability to improve, citing her lack of urgency and consistent underperformance.

Notable Quotes:

• Ronnie (08:04): "She's extremely lele. She's so lazy."
• Ben (12:08): "I don't like his attitude... he's acting like he played an active role in trying to woo her."

3. Guest Interactions and Drama

The episode's guest interactions are dissected with a focus on the mishandling of romantic tensions. Ben and Ronnie mock the ineffectiveness of crew members like Gary in managing guest relationships, particularly concerning Danny's kiss with Gary, which injects additional drama into the already tumultuous environment.

Notable Quotes:

• Ronnie (17:34): "I feel like you're just being sucked into a vortex."
• Ben (38:17): "I felt like our chemistry free banter is now chemistry free and laborious."

4. The Tender Incident

A pivotal moment in the episode involves the tender (a small boat used to transport guests and crew) malfunctioning during training. Ben and Ronnie humorously critique the yacht's constant crashing issues, attributing them to the crew's incompetence and lack of proper training.

Notable Quotes:

• Ben (05:05): "They still have not yet figured out the concept that if the boat tilts, everything falls out of the cupboards and crashes."
• Ronnie (22:54): "I'm so proud of him. God, I wish he was meaner."

5. Party Preparations and Decorations

The hosts transition to discussing the preparations for Alana's Sweet 16 party aboard the yacht. They ridicule the over-the-top and mismatched decorations brought by the guests' mother, comparing the aesthetic choices to a Homer Simpson donut centerpiece that clashes with the yacht's "white glove service" theme.

Notable Quotes:

• Ronnie (56:28): "Just put it up somewhere. I don't know. I like it."
• Ben (68:44): "You do remember that you're doing white glove service. So it really accentuates the Homer Simpson donut we place in the middle of the table."

6. Final Crashes and Conclusion

As the party progresses, the yacht encounters yet another near-crash with a smaller boat, showcasing the ongoing lack of control and expertise among the crew. Ben and Ronnie conclude the episode by lamenting the stubborn persistence of these issues, hinting at future episodes where the chaos continues unabated.

Notable Quotes:

• Ben (72:28): "People are always saying, oh, we would like ships in the night. Well, how about this?"
• Ronnie (73:41): "She's addicted now to coffee."

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Key Takeaways and Insights

• Crew Incompetence: The episode underscores persistent incompetence among critical crew members, particularly the captain and chef, leading to repeated mishaps and inefficiencies.

• Lack of Urgency: Emma's lack of urgency and motivation is a recurring theme, highlighting the challenges in maintaining high standards aboard the yacht.

• Over-the-Top Guest Demands: The extravagant demands and decorations from guests add another layer of complexity and humor, emphasizing the disconnect between guest expectations and crew capabilities.

• Comedic Mockery: Ben and Ronnie employ sharp wit and sarcasm to critique and mock the show's narrative, providing listeners with a humorous take on the unfolding drama.

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Conclusion

In "Tender Disses," Watch What Crappens delivers a thorough and entertaining analysis of the latest Below Deck Sailing Yacht episode. Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam skillfully blend humor with critical insight, making for an engaging listen that both fans and newcomers can appreciate. Their ability to highlight the absurdity of the show's events while maintaining a comedic undertone ensures that listeners are both informed and thoroughly entertained.

Final Notable Quote:

• Ronnie (76:56): "Experience all episodes ad free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery."

Transcript

[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

You know, that's major.

[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

[Ronnie]

Good. Just, you know, an average day of buzz song going on in the background, things being chopped up, people being dismembered in my house because this place is almost done, everybody. We are on crap ins on demand today. Hi, video people. And we're also doing a bonus this week, which is going to be fun. We've also got an extra recap this week because Beverly Hills returns. If you want to watch all these videos, get all our bonus episodes, etc. Etc. Join us over on Patreon. Okay? That's where you do that. It's easier now. Simple. One easy monthly charge. It's not a bunch of bullshit. Okay? So go over there and do that. And if you don't want to pay, you will still have access to all videos on YouTube. So go join our YouTube. They're just coming out a week later. Okay? But if you want them immediately, get your ass to Patreon. There's no way around it. And I think that's it. We have a great week coming up. We're so excited. And we have a great below deck recap coming your way in 5, 4, 1 second. Here we are. It's below deck, low deck sailing.

[Ben]

Yeah, below deck sailing. Another season, another boat crash. You know, just the standard, standard below deck sailing activity. Also, it's another charter and they still have not yet figured out the concept that if the boat tilts, everything falls out of the cupboards and crashes. It's just still like, still working on that. Still working on trying to figure out how to not make.

[Ronnie]

They all blame. They all blame Glenn too, which is so funny. Like, they all get mad at Glenn. Daisy's like, glenn, can you stop jumping the goddamn Boat? Well, no, it's a sailing boat. You know, what are you going to yell at Walt Disney for being decapitated? It's Disneyland. That's. His head's in a freezer somewhere. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. That's the nature of where you are.

[Ben]

Okay, yeah, exactly. Just.

[Ronnie]

Just right.

[Ben]

It is. But you know, I'm sorry, that caught me off guard because I was like, I forgot. That's like the. I was like, that's the thing with Walt Disney. I forgot. That's the thing. He froze his head.

[Ronnie]

I forgot. I forgot right now. Yeah. And you know what? Probably in our lifetime, they will reanimate that weird little head. It'll come back to life and he'll be like, oh, my God. Hi, everybody. I was dead, but I paid 500,000 whole dollars. And now look, I have a new life. I'll be like, $500,000. That's nothing. Charging more.

[Ben]

First of all, I appreciate the pun of him being reanimated. Second of all, I would love for Walt Disney come back to life. And he's like, all right, everyone, I'm back. So let's get back to it. Everyone. Pitch me your ideas for a hand drawn animation feature film. They're like, so some things have changed. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Walt Disney would be canceled in two seconds. Let's face it. He'll be like, you know what? I missed Song of the South. Let's do that one again. They'll be cool.

[Ben]

Do you know my. My screenwriting professor in college was wrote Song of the South. What? Yes. And then he was blackballed. It was the whole. Blacklisted? Yeah. So I was gonna say blackballed.

[Ronnie]

Wow, that took a twist.

[Ben]

Yeah, it took a big twist. So, yeah. So just happy to announce that my. My screenwriting career has fascinating foundations.

[Ronnie]

Well, that explains a lot.

[Ben]

He was like 85 years old. His dad started MGM. He was. He was like, okay. He's basically Bronwyn's husband.

[Ronnie]

Interior. That's the inside of something. Oh, Jesus.

[Ben]

Rest in peace, Professor.

[Ronnie]

Rap speaking images, not in words, but write down the images and words. Got it. Go.

[Ben]

So did not expect that we were gonna go down this path before we dove into blood.

[Ronnie]

Walt Disney.

[Ben]

Boo.

[Ronnie]

Boo. Bring animated Walt Disney head. Get rid of him. He doesn't even have. He doesn't even have a wiener anymore. Get rid of him. Okay, everybody, welcome to Below Deck Sailing Yacht. This is called my super sideways 16, which is cute. And it's just another episode where, you know, if there's someone that Gary does not want to stick his penis into. They magically become terrible at their. You know what I mean? I feel like he would be much more complimentary if he found this chick hot. Now that said, this chick is extremely lele. She's so lazy. Oh, my God. You've got time to mope. You got time to mop.

[Ben]

Okay, yeah, she's late. She is lazy. We've loved Emma, but she, she is extraordinarily lazy. I think the difference is that if Gary saw a romantic spark there, he would have more patience with her and maybe like, teach her more or motivate her more or, like care to motivate her more. But since he's not going to be banging her and you know, he's like, well, she's over 23, so that pretty much makes her an old hag and untouchable. So therefore, Emma, are you going to wipe that down? No, I don't know how to motivate her then.

[Ronnie]

I only motivate people with penis. If that doesn't work, who knows what serious. So it's the last day of Traja. Diana just told Keith about Danny's kiss with Gary. Daisy's having a choice with Chloe's about his work. So Daisy's like, I think that things are a little bit last minute. They're choice. And I think the dinners need to be a bit more elaborate. And I think we're in set in the bees. Ah, the sun's going down.

[Ben]

Romance, am I right? I just want it to be more like, wow, this is the most beautiful plate I've ever seen. That's 20 full pitas in the basket. So Cloyce is like, yeah, I'm definitely working on it. You know, I have a track record of general success and professionalism and I have actually frequently called been called the most reliable chef on the west coast. Yeah, but like being the most reliable chef, you can go to McDonald's and that's gonna be reliable food. I don't think reliability is what we, what you like, want first from a chef on a super yacht. I think you want like innovative, good, excellent, high taste level, reliable is just like, okay, you can make omelets.

[Ronnie]

Good old reliable. You know, here's the thing. I love reliability. I've never had it, but I love it. And I prefer that a chef who makes claims like that about himself has citations. That's what I need. I need footnotes. You can't just say, I've often been called the most reliable chef on the west coast. By who? Sir, can I I need quotes, and I need, like, little by Rolling Stone or something underneath, like, a movie poster. You can't just be saying you get all this credit. You're 22. No one has said that about you. Everybody has just said he is reliably the youngest person with a, you know, Republican haircut, Republican congressman haircut that we've ever seen on the West Coast. That's it. You don't win anything else.

[Ben]

Being named most reliable chef. That is, like, beyond a consolation prize, because as a chef, you are supposed to be inherently reliable. So you don't. You shouldn't get any extra prizes for being, like, extra. Basically have an extra basic quality of your job. It's like, I'm the most able to understand the difference between salt and pepper. You know, like, so being most reliable. To me, that sounds like the sort of yearbook superlative that, like, the yearbook council comes up with because they want to honor someone, but they don't have anything left to say because most successful and, like, best eyes or nicest smile has already been taken. So, like, I don't know, Most reliable. Sure, we'll give that to Cloys because everyone else got something.

[Ronnie]

Oh, poor reliable people. Like, damn it, I've worked so hard to be reliable, and Ben just ripped me a new one.

[Ben]

You know, I think in the world of cheffrey, I'm going to say most reliable is a consolation title that he was given because, like, everyone else in the boat clearly got something, and they're like, lois, you're the most reliable, I guess, reliable.

[Ronnie]

Your kids. Right. Because on this show, the chef's always, like, got a kid somewhere that he never sees.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So I guess maybe they're reliable in the kitchen, but, I don't know, all around reliable, you know, no offense.

[Ben]

I meant. I meant terms of. Just for cooking and not in terms of personal life or presence with family. Yeah, for sure.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So then he's like, yeah, I'm great. So for someone to have even a glimmer of confusion about my abilities is new for me. I mean, they're wrong. So how are they wrong? You fucked up, like, multiple charters in a row. Get it together, sir. Go dye something with some cabbage purple.

[Ben]

You microwave to go.

[Ronnie]

Go fuck with some cabbage purple and some acid. Okay, get back to me, sir.

[Ben]

Well, you do have the most important job on the boat. Even more important than the captain, because, I mean, look, based on Captain Glenn's record, it's apparent that anyone could drive this boat. Right? It doesn't take. It doesn't take an advanced degree to crash into a rock, which is apparently all we do. So you have the most important job.

[Ronnie]

I mean, if the boat starts sinking, we need somebody who can drive a croissant, and that's you.

[Ben]

It's like, okay, well, hopefully it'll get better. It's like, so now it's time to arrive at the port and everything. And so they're. They're. They're heading towards there. And then that. This one lady, this one guest, she was like a brat the night before. And now someone else drinks a. Someone. One of her friends has a glass of orange juice, and she's like, fresh orange juice. And the other. The other lady is like, I'm pretty sure I think I saw coming out of a box last night. But that's, like, so cute that you thought that.

[Ronnie]

And then we see a flashback of Danny juicing the oranges. This lady's just being a butt to be a butt.

[Ben]

Yeah. Danny is sitting there, like, slowly juicing one half after another. And the lady's like, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's Tropicana, so. Yeah, that's cute.

[Ronnie]

What a dick. So then everybody's docking the boat without Emma because Emma's, you know, moping somewhere, and Cecilia's like, this was such a great experience. Like, I can't tell you how relaxed I was on this trap. I was able to sit on a trampoline and have cocktails. So I appreciate it. Thank you guys so much. I would prefer plated, but otherwise. She didn't do that I would prefer plated thing, which. I was impressed. Like, yeah, she's a fake. You know? You know who. I don't want a fake dentist. I want a real dentist. I want someone to open my mouth, shut me up, and be like, ronnie, here's your problem. And then just read me to Filth for an hour. Because that's the only time I really have to listen to advice because they've got my mouth in use.

[Ben]

That's actually fair. I mean, like, the. I'm always afraid of being yelled at. Oh, did my. My camera just quit? No, I'm always afraid of being yelled at by dentists. Like, that's like. It's like twice a year. I'm like, okay, just get ready to be yelled at by your dentist. And they never yell at me. I just always assume that we're gonna get. I'm gonna get yelled at.

[Ronnie]

Oh, the. The assistant. I shouldn't call her the assistant. The dental hygienist or whatever. Oh, they give me shit all the time. Like, oh, really? It's been 12 months since you've been here. Really? What have you been doing? I'm, like, staying at home, eating candy. What have you been doing? Get off my ass. I don't work for you. I'm paying you to be here. You know what I mean? You should be like, ronnie, nice sweater. Have you lost weight even when I haven't? Yeah, you're on the clock.

[Ben]

Nice sweater. Nice sweater. Say, nice sweater.

[Ronnie]

What? I'm just saying. I see. I want a fake dental hygienist, but not a fake dentist.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah, my dental. I had a dental hygienist recently who was a little too real with me because her name was Marla, and she. She was like. She was. She was the one who was like. She took my blood pressure because I do that. And then she's like, oh, my God, your blood pressure is so high. Like, I'm not even sure I could proceed. And, like, the dentist came in. I was like, it's fine, Marla. And Marla was, like, freaking out. And then. And then they were like, did you have a. Some sort of procedure recently? And I was like, well, I just had an appendectomy. And Marlo goes, An appendectomy? What is that again? I was like, okay, Marla, you know what? I. Digital. I need you to.

[Ronnie]

Marla, over there, please.

[Ben]

Marla, stop.

[Ronnie]

You made it. You made it.

[Ben]

Thank God.

[Ronnie]

We just didn't know. We just didn't know. Did you see the light? Did you go towards it? I kept telling you, come back, Ben. Come back. Like Marlo. We were drilling his goddamn Muller. Okay, Gee, we're losing him.

[Ben]

We're all gonna go down. We're all gonna be sued. Okay, we got. We got. I think I give it three hours till we get to the Mexican border before they arrest us. Like Marla. It's okay. We removed the cavity, so now it's.

[Ronnie]

Time to turn the boat over before the tip meeting. And Emma's like, oh, God. I just don't know why they didn't wake me for the docking. You know, I could have been up there, standing there, my arms crossed, looking at things intently, but instead, here I was, all alone, like the outcast who I was, you know? Did anyone from the crew. Did any one of the guests pick someone from the crew they'd like to marry or kill because everybody wants to kill me at all times? Is that what they said on their way out? Was it, tip. Here's your tip. Get rid of Emma. Might as well throw her overboard. The wonder Emma, just throw her off the useless breast. Step below. Just get rid of Emma. Like, Jesus Christ, you were taking a nap. Stop yelling at people.

[Ben]

Yeah, you should be refreshed. So she is. After having taken a nice long nap, she now goes and sits down on, like, a little sofa area thing. And Gary is, like, tying his shoes to go do work. And she's like, these laces are not. They're not good, the laces that you're trying to tie. And he's like, yes, they're. They're so. Okay, well, let's get sorted with doing work with our bad laces. Okay? We don't want to work today. Let's work. And he, like, goes off and she just sits there just staring off at, like, a wall. All right. When I tried my best.

[Ronnie]

I wonder if other boats had nicer laces. Is it only my boat that is cursed with inferior laces? I can't take it. She's just like, conks down and goes back to bed on the desk. So now Glenn's like, okay, right, Fourth charter, another in the can, done dusted, which this boat is about to be in about 10 minutes. I just love the standard. We're reaching, but like that. Let's just always keep pushing, guys. Gary, not you. Okay, Keep it in your pants. Decent docking. That was perfect. Okay. Daisy, you're great. Daisy, I just love your smile. Give me that smile. Both corners of your mouth. Days. Daisy, she's like, I'm smiling, right? I'm a smiling. All right, well, she tried. All right, everybody's great. Every one of you is perfection. Except you, Koi. God, what a fail. Huge, massive fail. In Canada, we'd call that.

[Ben]

Yeah, I think you had a little bit of trouble with this charter, mainly that you basically only serve them some Kit Kats and old muffins for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So this time I want you to really focus on prepping a little bit better. And I want you to think outside of the box. I know we just want to have a very high standard. So in conclusion, no swimming with the guests and serve more than family style. He's like, yeah, okay, cool. Is leveling up? Leveling up? He's like, yeah, that's what I want to hear. Leveling up. Yeah. So Cloyce is now patting himself on the back. He's like, well, I don't really think of myself as being one of those ego driven chefs, but, like, you know, one of those. But Daisy's and Glenn's constructive criticism is kind of ruining my whole day. And I Just, I prefer not to be in this situation. It's like, well, then don't. Don't, like, spend 30 minutes serving up, like, a scoop of ice cream to people celebrating their. Their wedding anniversary or their engagement, whatever it was.

[Ronnie]

Be better.

[Ben]

Be better.

[Ronnie]

That's the thing, is, I really like Kluyce, and I think he's taking all of this pretty well, you know, for getting slammed, because a lot of chefs would be just losing their shit by now. But he's like, okay, you know, maybe I can do better. But, you know, you see that budding ego for later seasons, I'd like to check in on him 10 years, because I think he will be throwing dishes across the room at people, and I need that. Yeah, I need that him. So it's not weird. I'm like, he's doing so great. I'm so proud of him. God, I wish he was meaner. You really cannot win with me. So Glenn's like, okay. And I know you're anxious to hear the trip amount. The tip. Sorry, the tip amount was 22,000 teeth. Just lots of teeth. Some are yellow, some have holes in them. But, you know, they told us we could sell them on ebay, so good luck, everybody.

[Ben]

And you all get a tiny little plastic bag with a cartoon tooth on it that has an oral bead toothbrush and a very small, almost ugly, unusable amount of floss inside.

[Ronnie]

Okay, enjoy. Oh, finally, a little oral on this boat. Am I right? Me.

[Ben]

So now they're, like, gonna. They're all gonna go out tonight, but it is a. It's a school night. They're not gonna go crazy. And Gary's like, oh, so we going to have a good night Tonight is we're going to party. And she's like, oh, yeah, you're excited? Yeah, I guess so. I don't think anyone's going to argue or fight. Well, there's always tension between us. Gara, why don't you help me clean these things? Why aren't you putting the dishes away, Gary? Why don't you serve in the guests? You never help me out, Gara.

[Ronnie]

And he's like, this is what we have here, this situation ship. She's like, oh, fuck off. I'll see you later, Gary. I love when Daisy flirts. So then we go to charter number five. It's the preference sheet meeting. And Glenn's like, okay, this is hump charter. You just hear pounding against the wall.

[Ben]

Not you, Danny.

[Ronnie]

Not you.

[Ben]

All right, so Sherry and Philip Jaffe and their older daughters, Eva and her Best friend Carson and their youngest daughter Ilana and Addie and a stylist named Brandon who looks sort of like Lisa Rinna. Okay. They're looking for a family vacation. Celebrating Atlanta Sweet 16 on Parsifal. Wow. You know, it's so great. You know, it's about time that kids realize the joy of being able to celebrate such a milestone age on a boat that's going to actively sink on them. That's wonderful.

[Ronnie]

Finally we found a way to keep kids off of their iPads and their telephones. Get them a charter for their birthday. So Kois is like classic. So I don't know what that meant. I guess he just meant like little rich kids getting a sweet 16 on the boat.

[Ben]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Ronnie]

And Daisy's like, in Ireland, we don't have a sweet 16 through though. Birthdays are a big deal. For my 16th birthday, I went to an Italian restaurant. I got shit faced with my friends for the first time and I think my friend fucked somebody in the bathroom.

[Ben]

Sartrelo wasn't a super yacht. I totally see this all happening. Just going to some random Italian restaurant.

[Ronnie]

Like a Peter Piper with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth the whole time at 16, red sauce on her.

[Ben]

Cheek because she's so wasted.

[Ronnie]

100%. Spitting pizza dough all over you while she's smoking at the same time and.

[Ben]

Getting shit face pasta lasagna. Oh, God, she's wasted.

[Ronnie]

Ma'am, would you like anything? Oh, off. All right. See, we've over served the 16 year old. Hey guys. Why does that 16 year old look like a 47 year old lady with boxed wine in a paper bag under a freeway?

[Ben]

Why is she sticking her hands in the platter of meatballs?

[Ronnie]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crapin's commercial.

[C]

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[Ronnie]

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[C]

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[Ben]

So they're going to be celebrating Alana's Sweet 16 party with formal white glove service, which is what every teen wants when they turn 16. White Glove Service. Talk about Disney, huh?

[Ronnie]

Mickey Mouse, get some plastic gloves and bring the stick out of her butt. Because, like, who wants that at 16 White Glove Service. Geez.

[Ben]

Oh, geez. And then afterwards, the parents are going to go out to Ibiza's top nightclub. So it's like, okay, honey, congratulations on this milestone birthday. You're sweet 16. See you later.

[Ronnie]

Bye.

[Ben]

You stay here alone on the yacht while we go party. I'm sure.

[Ronnie]

I love these parents. They're rich as hell. They're like, let's go on a cruise. Oh, it's Alana's birthday. Oh, okay. Well, just bring the game. He'll babysit her. Let's go.

[Ben]

Pretty much they're like, rich as hell, but also Minnesotan. So you have like, that, like, Midwestern but also rich thing going on, which is a great combination.

[Ronnie]

The mom's probably my favorite. I love her. And she's played by the gone girl lady. Who's that? Who's that actress?

[Ben]

Wait, Rosamund Pike?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, she's just like Rosamund Pike.

[Ben]

Rosamond pike doing a Minnesotan accent. Accent.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Yeah, hon. So glad you get to do it. You're having so much fun, hun. So Emma's like, oh, God. After the tip meeting, I feel like they all hate me. Don't they? Don't they just hate me? Could you do a poll? Go ask everybody who they hate more, Emma or these laces.

[Ben]

Hold on. Let your insecurities push you out like that, because I don't want to. I don't want that to be a bad vibe at all. So in an effort to improve the dark cloud around me, I'm going to just walk out to that deck and slouch over and stare out at the sea and say, what? Oh, never mind.

[Ronnie]

What?

[Ben]

Never mind.

[Ronnie]

So they're going to dinner, and Kois is like, I'm gonna spend my whole time writing out a dinner menu for charter to show that I'm making an effort. And Keith's like, you actually cannot 100% bring your homework out to dinner. He's like, I've got you, man. I'm gonna prove myself. I'm gonna prove myself, and we're gonna put on a show and save this boat. Like, oh, geez, kid. Just. Just don't serve family style, you know what I mean? That's like. It doesn't need to be this difficult. The notes are pretty simple, sir.

[Ben]

So. But by the way, they should be wanting him to do his homework because he's gonna be the key to them getting a better tip. So I just would let the kid play. Write whatever he wants to write down at the table. They're all really touchy about it. So now they're all going to dinner and everything. They order some espresso martinis and things like that. And then Keith is like. Danny is flirting with Keith again. And she's like, oh, she got to dab me up. He's like, what's that? I don't know if I'm cool enough to know what dabbing me up means. Ha ha. So they have more of their lame flirtation.

[Ronnie]

It's a handshake. She's like, you gotta shake it. It's like that because, like, we have thing, right? Me and you, we're vibing, right? Forgetting that she was just making out with someone else last night. Like, girl, you can't pass around. You can't pass yourself around like an hors d'oeuvre tray. And then expect somebody to treat you like an entree. And that goes for you too, Gary. Although Gary's not really looking to be treated like an entree. I guess Gary's more of a golden cross, sloppy kind of a guy, you know?

[Ben]

I think he's just aspiring to be one of those platters from Costco with the sandwich wraps with the cream cheese in the ham.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God. That's what I want to be. Because everybody loves those.

[Ben]

They are so sweet.

[Ronnie]

That's what I want to be. I want to be a sandwich wrap. Everybody gets a piece, but nobody necessarily comes back for more, which I like, you know?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Like, take a piece of me and then go away.

[Ben]

Yeah. Yeah. So that made me feel sad. I know that got you said it in such a cheery way. But then when I really listened to what you were saying, I got sad.

[Ronnie]

Me too. Oh, my God. Ronnie cheese. Okay. So then he's like, what's a dab? I'm not cool enough. And she's like, it's how you make it cool, but it's got to be loose, you know? Like the Lucia chakra is the more the more like, less you give a. Oh, God, now she's bringing up chakras. This is like so desperate. I feel like this is what desperate people do. It's like, oh, my God.

[Ben]

What?

[Ronnie]

Your sign. You're so Leo right now. What's your third chakra up to? E? I read chakras. If you had a. The Kama Sutra. I was like, oh, my God. If this girl pulls out a drawing of like people in the scissor, the scissor go licky paper white position, I'm going to be very upset.

[Ben]

He's like, you've been in LA for too long. Because whatever this is with Danny is starting to feel like work and not fun. I'm like, tell me about it. We've been watching it for like six weeks at this point. Okay. It's definitely not fun and it definitely is work. And he's like learning that Danny's kiss Gary, like, it's not banter like it was in the beginning. You know, I felt like our chemistry free banter is now chemistry free and laborious. That's just not fun anymore.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's pretty much the same. It wasn't fun before either. Okay. But also maybe now that Danny's more like work, you'll put some effort into it. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's like all he's like, really done on this boat. And so he's over it now, you know, because people want to feel special. Shocker. Huge shocker there. So then even if you're fake, fake it, guys. Just fake it. So chakra. So now Emma is. She's telling us, oh, God. With Gary and Keith, you know, maybe I should just move. Move forward and meditate. But I've just. God, I've been known to be a petty on occasion. Here's one thing you don't need to do meditate. You're. You're on walking meditation all the time.

[Ben]

Work.

[Ronnie]

That's what you need to do.

[Ben]

Yeah, I would have to agree on that. I think that's not maybe the best. The best plan forward. I would say pick up a shammy and wipe something down. I think that's gonna be a little bit more effective.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, shimmy that shammy. You got time to shimmy, you got time to shammy.

[Ben]

This is what he's waking up to. This is what he's waking up to. He's like, ah, I'm waking up to a more evolved place. Let me turn on the radio. You got time to shimmy, you got time to shammy. Although I'M sure the shimmy shammy.

[Ronnie]

I want to go back.

[Ben]

Take me to a different time. Oh, my God. I would love a real housewife whose, like, backstory was that they were cryogenically frozen and then now they're back, you know? Like, that would be like, a Leanne Lock. And, like, I was born in another. Just because I was born in another century doesn't mean I was born yesterday. Well, they attached. Unfortunately, they attached my body to a giraffe, so I do have hooks. I'm the first hooved housewife, but I am a fully functioning woman.

[Ronnie]

Listen here. I'm a carny cave man. You play with me, you're gonna pay.

[Ben]

Unfortunately, they gave me two left arms, so if my hands look a little.

[Ronnie]

Skewed, that's why Leanne, could you get in the shot? How am I supposed to get in the shop? My neck's in the trees. Get a bigger goddamn tree, man.

[Ben]

They go in the house. So I have vacation. She gets stopped by security. Like, ma'am, do you. Are you trying to smuggle in something metal? No, those are just the staples. I keep my neck attached to my body. Go through this every time.

[Ronnie]

I guess that makes me a terrorist. Thanks, Obama.

[Ben]

No, but she's from a different century. Thanks, James Madison. Sorry.

[Ronnie]

The future.

[Ben]

Oh. Oh. It's both in the future and the past. In the future, someone who was frozen in 1812 but had a mouth like Leon Lockins is unbod.

[Ronnie]

All right, so now. Yeah, so Keith just kind of rejected Danny, right? And now Emma's all depressed. So Davida is talking to Kois, and he's like, so, have you done it? Have you done it? Have you done what you are looking for? Nah. Tell me, where is your progress?

[Ben]

He's like, yeah, it's much better. I'm doing a lot of good job. So, you know. You know, listen, it's been two charges of road that I suck, that I'm gone. So. So I gotta make this one really good. So I'm thinking, buy a cake, microwave it, but then this time, toast it. And I think that's gonna take it to the next level.

[Ronnie]

And Keith is like, you'll crush it, bro. You'll crush it. Would you like to dab with me? So then Daisy's like, I feel like Chlo is really taking my feedback on board. Look at him using crayons there to come up with ideas. That's a big effort. But, like, dude, put the sheets away. All right? It's an Italian restaurant. We're ready to party. Mom, suck my dick and get me a wine.

[Ben]

I love Daisy. Taking all the credit for Chloe's improving when it was just because the captain reprimanded him in front of the entire crew. Like that's why he's doing it. Because when Daisy tried to tell him something, he was like, no. But then when he gets publicly shamed, he changes. And Daisy's like, look at the good work I do. I'm such a good motivational speaker.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, public shaming wins the day every single time in life. You guys publicly. Next time you're having an issue with somebody, shame them publicly. I've kind of. We should make. You know what we should do for a bonus episode? Make a list of people we want to publicly shame and then just go in.

[Ben]

Yeah, sure.

[Ronnie]

Doesn't that sound fun? Yeah, I'm looking. You neighbors sending around, sending around a sheet for everybody to sign because your daughter doesn't want to deal with a one way street on her way to work that's saving all this. Literally saving lives. I'm gonna get you.

[Ben]

Is that a thing that's happening in your world?

[Ronnie]

He climbed up the hill the other day and he's like, I'm your neighbor. I was like, oh geez. You know, because you know I hate that. I'm like, close the gates. Just kidding. And he's, he's like, well, you know that new one way street? I hate it. And I was like, well actually it's so much safer because you know, the streets are like, they're like 6 inches wide up here. And I'm like, I think it's maybe safer. And he's like, no, my daughter hates it because she has to go around. I was like, well, we all have to go around. He's like, well whatever. I said, well, you've been here longer so I'll sign it. But then he left and I was like, hey, I was just pressured.

[Ben]

You signed the petition. Well, I mean, look, it's not going to change anything. No, LA has got enough things like LA has enough issues that it has to deal with that the last thing that they are going to care about is reversing the decree to make a road one way.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that's true. True. I mean you can't even get a bar built these days. Okay, let's go on. And that's really important. That's more important than public safety.

[Ben]

So after dinner they go up to the. They go up to. They're back on the boat and then Danny and Daisy, Danny and Keith are gonna go up to The. The hot tub to hang out and everything. Chloe's decides he's gonna make some squid ink ravioli. I don't know if that was. I guess that's probably for the guests. I was like, I thought it was for him, but I think it's for the guests.

[Ronnie]

So no timing, an effort, you know, he's like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna be really a fancy and whip out some squidding crabioli. You try that, Captain. Whatever. Buttons. Listen.

[Ben]

We know this is a one charter moment for him. This reminds me of when I was a kid. I was afraid my parents were going to send me to sleep away camp because my parents kept on saying, we're going to send you to sleep boy camp. You need to go to sleep boy camp. And I, like, was deathly afraid of going to sleep boy camp. So anytime it came up, I would, like, then go into the kitchen and I would, like, do all the dishes. And I was like, look, this will show. This was. I'm gonna change. I'm gonna do all my chores, all the time I want to do. I just was afraid to go away. And so I was like, maybe. Maybe if I just show that I'm, like, really responsible, that they won't. They won't do this to me. And so I'd just go and I would, like, wash a bunch of dishes. And then like, the next day I'd be like, I don't want to do dishes anymore. Like, it would last for 24 hours of me being judicious. And guess what? I got sent to sleep away camp. And guess what, guess what? It was like, one of the best experiences of my life. So you know what? Sometimes.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I mean, that's. Where else do you get la. You know, I definitely did not get.

[Ben]

Laid, but I did have my first kiss. Oh, that kiss. With someone named Kate in the woods. It was very romantic.

[Ronnie]

Mine was with Elizabeth. I always wondered what happened to her. Oh, gosh. Probably married to some gay guy. So let's see here. So now I would. Oh, my God. I would. I would marry her right now. So Keith and Danny are flirting while she's trying to flirt. And he's like, don't look at me like that. Like, you just look like croissant dough. I can't help it. And she's like, I was about to say the same thing. And he's like, you had your chance, because. What do you mean, my chance? He. And he's like, you had your chance with me. Honestly, mate, I'll tell you right now, I'LL tell you straight up now. Tell me, do you really want to love me forever? If you hadn't hooked up with Gary. Oh, oh, oh. And she's like, what do you mean? That was just a thing. It was just a thing, okay? I mean, what. What's the big deal? It's like, it was just a thing, and then he rejected you. Because it would still be a thing and you would be blowing off Keith right now if Gary hadn't given you the old heave hobby.

[Ben]

All that. Yeah, all that may be true. All that may be true and is true. But now on the flip side, I think Keith saying, you had your chance. Shut up, Keith. She was like, you were the one who was sitting there doing nothing for the longest time. So don't be like, oh, you had your chance and you blew it. She was literally trying to actively blow you, and you were like, no, too much. And now you're going to sit here with your hamster nipples exposed to the stars complaining about how she had her chance and she blew it.

[Ronnie]

No, he was flirting back with her, but she was also hitting on that young guy at the club. And so he was just like, what's her deal? She just. Does she really like me or does she just want to bang everybody that she sees? You know? So he was just being cautious with his heart. I mean, God.

[Ben]

And that's fine, but just don't say, you had your chance.

[Ronnie]

Well, she did have her chance. Someone told me that one time. They're like, well, you had your chance. And I just thought to myself, I know, but you're like that last donut in the shop that's complaining that nobody ate you. Like, am I supposed to apologize for you? You were a donut that didn't look good. Like, maybe really trying to guilt trip me.

[Ben]

Yeah. Everybody, cheese and ham and get yourself to Costco. No, I just. You know what? It's. I just. I don't like. Like, I don't like that he is doing the you had your chance thing, because it's not like he was actively pursuing her and was like, do you want to go on a date with me? Let's hook up or whatever. And then she was like, no, thanks. It was like she was. She was trying. I mean, I'm not taking away from the fact that she also was flirting with the guy at the club and then also Gary and all that, but I'm just saying, like, he's acting like he played an active role in trying to woo her. And I'm sorry, he did not so, like, you can be like, okay, you know what? Now that she's hooked up with Gary, I'm not interested in her. That's fine, but don't tell her. You had your chance when you were the one who told her, like, please stop. Please slow down on hitting on me, because I don't like it when the girl is the aggressor.

[Ronnie]

Well, he was saying. He was saying to stop hitting him so hard when it's not just me that, like, you don't even really like it because it seems fake with her, you know, he was just trying to protect his heart. Man, you little. Keith. He's not used to people coming on to him that hard. You know.

[Ben]

He'S cream cheese without the wrap and the ham.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, he's the donut in the shop. Just someone will take me surely I'm a donut. One day, someone's gonna want kind of a dry donut with no toppings on it. Someday somebody's gonna come along and make me want it. I can swallow me, baby I'm gonna.

[Ben]

Sit on this quarter sheet, pan in this in the display day don't you know I've got frosting I got sugar I got a sweet feeling Just hold.

[Ronnie]

On for one more day but you can't hold on for one more day when you're a donut. Yeah, donuts are just thrown out. We should ask Carney Wilson about it, because she knows Jeff Lewis, so we should ask her. Okay, so let's go on with this recap somehow. Okay, so she's mad because he basically dumps her. He's like, okay, well, I know you hooked up with Gary, and I don't want to get involved in any sort of, like, triangular sort of relationship. Right. So I'm going to bed. Really? Then why did you suggest coming to the hot tub? You know, he lifted her all the way up just so he could. He could dunk her in the hot tub. But she deserved it.

[Ben]

Well, she. Her deserving it is separate from him. Like, do it like lip bringer all the way to the hot tub. See, like, you're trying to make me have sympathy for the donut right now. But it turns out that the donut was about to be given to someone, and the donut was like, no, thank you. I'd like to stay in the case, please. And then the donut's like, oh, well, I guess no one wants me. It's like, you know what? Donut.

[Ronnie]

Well, yeah, but that girl chose that girl's. And that girl's got a Grocery bag full of crawlers, eclairs and muffins. You know what I mean? And she's like, oh, God, yeah. And he's just like, well, thanks a lot, me, me. But let me tell you something. You know, I just think we'll just have to agree to disagree, because what are you gonna do? I believe in men with hearts, you know, and you.

[Ben]

I believe. I do believe that, like, you know, if you're interested. If you're interested in someone and you hook up with someone else, you do fundamentally it up. Like, that is for sure. I'm not taking that away. I'm just saying I don't like his attitude. And I also. But I do appreciate that we just sang a Wilson Phillips song in the voice of a British donut. And that really made me happy for today.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. At least we kept it on theme because it was about holes.

[Ben]

That's right.

[Ronnie]

Okay, so Danny's like, oh, I hate projection. I wouldn't have kissed Gary if I didn't. If I didn't take you this long to kiss me. I mean, whatever. My approach is just to move on to the next. Like, it never happened. We know, girl. And that's not going to work for you ever. It's never going to work for you. Never.

[Ben]

And then she basically goes and, like, texts the child from the abuser.

[Ronnie]

I was so embarrassed. Okay, this is where I turned. Because for the. For this long, I've just, like, had zero respect for Danny and thought she was kind of an. With how she treats other people's feelings and just figured she was kind of a female Gary. But this is where I felt bad. I was like, oh, this is like an illness at this point. She's just, like, that desperate for attention. That's sad. Like, girl, you're on tv. This is just embarrassing. I'm sorry that high school was hard.

[Ben]

But sorry for your daddy issues. So now we wake up the next.

[Ronnie]

Morning, all the people being mean to you before, you were like, a thin cheerleader. But you know what? This doesn't. This isn't going to help. I don't know, do something else. Find a hobby. Learn to play the piano or knit or, you know. Yeah, well, that's. That's extreme.

[Ben]

No, listen, I think therapy is good for everyone. I say this as someone who just got a text from his therapist.

[Ronnie]

Oh, that's so cute.

[Ben]

That's so cute.

[Ronnie]

Doctor.

[Ben]

Yeah, my therapist is literally Dr. Crane. Isn't that hilarious?

[Ronnie]

No way.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

That's crazy.

[Ben]

I actually am not in therapy. I just watch. I just Watch reruns. I watch reruns and just like project my issues onto it.

[Ronnie]

Okay, well, no one really needs a 19 hour below deck recap, but sometimes that's just what you're gonna get. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Come one, come all commercials.

[D]

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[Ronnie]

Emma is waking up, up and everyone's trashed, you know, from the night before. And I was like, I feel like a Barbie. That total hair cut off, limbs ripped out by some troubled child.

[Ben]

My wife's hanging, won't be shaming today because I'm missing my limbs.

[Ronnie]

She woke up weird. It's so funny.

[Ben]

So Keith is now telling Gary that. That he was up on the bow with Danny and goes, oh, did you hook up? He's like, nah. He's like, well, honestly, I do not want to if that's what's holding you back, because she kissed me and I thought it was absolutely nothing. She kissed you? You were flirting with her all night. And you're like, let's go jump into the romantic oil slick water. And you guys both jumped in, like, don't say. Don't put it all on her, please.

[Ronnie]

So that's scary for you.

[Ben]

Exactly. So then the crew is in the crew mess, and Daisy is like, so what did I miss last night? Was it anything good? Could I motivate some other people to do things? How about this? Who here wants to learn how to make a lasagna? I can do that. I don't know why I said that. And Daisy's. And they're like, no, do miss anything. You know, it's great. And then Danny's. So Keith mopes off and Danny's like, so he sat on the bear with me and he was like, oh, I'm not getting involved in a love triangle. And I was like, there is no love triangle to get involved in. Raw stupid boy. Am I right? Everyone high fives, right? Everyone goes be with Keith now.

[Ronnie]

And she's like, well, I wanted to, like, I wanted to, period. Now I'm like, well, I've got the ick, you know, because he's so insecure and weird. He's insecure and weird. Oh, my God. How many fucking phone calls did you make the second you felt rejection? You know that girl went through her Rolodex and called every person she's ever, ever known or that ever looked sideways. So she probably has, like, the customer service number to target. Like, I had a very cute clerk in there the other day. I'm sure he wanted me. Danny, could you just pass it around? Just pass it around, please.

[Ben]

So Daisy does not. Yes. And her. Daisy's like, danny, I think that's really mean. That's not a nice thing to say. That someone might be insecure. And she's like, yeah, but he's like, getting upset at the fact that I kiss somebody. She's like, yeah, but you just. You didn't just kiss anyone. You kissed his roommate and his boss. Danny, you're gone. You're going from one to the other. I don't think him feeling insecure is actually that weird in the situation. And then he's like, I Was not prepared for that brutal honesty right now.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So now watch. Danny's gonna become a total jerk because someone, like, told her the truth about her.

[Ben]

Daniel starts now. Danny starts talking about Daisy for the rest of the episode. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So. And the spiral begins. So Keith and Emma are talking, and he's like, well, I think there's some awkward tension from last night. She's like, oh, my God. I think it's my cologne. Like, no, no. Personal, interpersonally. No, seriously, I wear a cologne called awkward tension. People hate me. Seriously. They really do. So it's not about you, Emma. So it's just like, you know, it was just like this with her, and I just walked off. Off. And g. What do you guys think about doing a little ginger practice? I think we could all use it here, right? Who wants to sit on daddy Gary's lap? Thought we were going to ride the boat. All right, well, we can do that kind of tender if you want to. Lazy jones.

[Ben]

So they get. They go and get in the tender so that way Emma can learn how to drive it. Because when he's like, who wants to. Who wants to have some tender practices for Emma, right? So while they're doing that, Diana and Danny are at the bar cleaning. And Diana's like, well, I understand why Daisy was saying that. I'm really on her side. And Danny's like, yeah, I get it. But he's like a to me, and then I have to be the bigger person every single time.

[Ronnie]

He's never been an to you, and you've never been the bigger person. You've been the person who feels insecure and then purposely tries to hurt his feelings because you don't know how to deal with life. So Diana's like, well, I don't think that's great for her to hear that either. And Danny's like, well, when you date him, you date him. Then gold o your dating being. I love that you've. You've elevated yourself to that level.

[Ben]

Yeah, exactly. And Danny's basically like, yeah, I don't need your commentary, Daisy. Okay? You know, like, she isn't even aware of half the conversations we've had. She only sees, like, a little bit. So then meet over on the tender. Gary is teaching. Teaching Emma how to drive, and he's like, well, it's just like a car, and you know which way you turn, it's going to turn, and if you overdo it, you're gonna turn too much. So you're gonna turn counter. So it's. You're pushing water Left and right. So when you turn to the left, it goes left. Turn to the right, it goes to just like a car. Have I told you that I've totaled seven cars? All right, all right.

[Ronnie]

Let me explain this in a way it might be easy for you to understand. It's basically like Emma. It's the opposite of Emma. Where you turn. When Emma turns towards you, what do people do? They turn away. That's the opposite of the tender. Do we get it now? I'm like, oh, God, I'm just basically driving me. So it's basically sailing. Failure, failure. The failure with the steering wheel is what you're telling me.

[Ben]

No, I'm trying to motivate you. So how about this? If you need to make a left, just pretend there's a coffee to the left and to the right. Pretend it's your bed you can nap in. Okay, coffee. There you go, bed. There you go. Bed. Ah, full circle now.

[Ronnie]

So he's like, all right, if you panic, he just goes through the whole thing. And she's just like, yeah, fine, great. So then she's telling us, I normally perform well under pressure. I don't think I'm performing well under pressure in this instance exactly. Because having all eyes on me is throwing me for a bit of a loop. I mean, it was especially rough when my sister was helicoptered in, jumped into the tender and reverse parked it right in between two giant yachts that were very, very close to each other. I mean, it was miraculous, really. God damn it.

[Ben]

I don't think that Gary appreciated when I actively made myself a little bed in the tender and went to sleep during the lesson. So it's very difficult, very difficult to get by people.

[Ronnie]

So then Gary goes to Glenn and he's like, glenn, Glenn, Glenn, how do you teach initiative?

[Ben]

And it's like, what? It's like she still doesn't know how to drive a tender. And we almost had to crash in the door carrier. And then she took a nap and then somehow actually found a cup of coffee she could drink while on the tender. There's just a lot of waiting and looking around and talking about shoelaces and she's having a smoke and then it's tea and then it's smoke and then it's on her phone. Oh, so it sounds like she doesn't have any urgency. That's right. She has no sense of urgency.

[Ronnie]

So here's what I would suggest for lack of urgency. We're just going to give her chance after chance and not really do anything or make any Moves and just hope it gets better. Do you understand? All right, you're talking about lack of urgency. Get her ass off the boat, like, how many times? And I like him. I don't want to see Emma fired. But, you know, at this point, like, you can't hang out. You can't stand up for Emma at this point, right?

[Ben]

No, no.

[Ronnie]

Get rid of her.

[Ben]

Yeah. So Gary's like, Emma is an excuse maker when it comes to work, and there's always a reason behind it not being done. And I want to give her the opportunity to prove that she wants to learn. Otherwise, we'd be quite happy to find someone else. And by giving her the opportunity to prove that she wants to learn, I'm just going to look at her, shake my head, and walk away. I think she'll get it.

[Ronnie]

So now the guests, the new guests arrives, like, cute little family and very rich family. Very, very rich family. And Glenn's like, wait a minute, Danny, did we just give miners champagne? And she's like, no, only two didn't take them. He's like, good, because our policy is miners don't drink on board. Got it. It. And so downstairs, Danny's like, I mean, seven glasses of champagne already set out. Look, I'm doing my job. I'm not in charge.

[Ben]

By the way, what are the rule? What are the rules if you're on a. If you're on a yacht on. In a country or international waters where the drinking age is lower? I feel like I don't know what the drinking age is in Ibiza, but I feel like it's got to be about, like, seven years old. Right? So, like, shouldn't it be legal to do it there?

[Ronnie]

I would think so. Because all the talk of, like, she's there in ibiza for her 16th. I thought maybe it was legal to drink there. Right? Or Ibiza.

[Ben]

Oh, you know what? The legal age to drink alcohol In Ibiza is 18 years old, so.

[Ronnie]

Oh, so there you go. Sorry, Alana. Or whatever, you ain't drinking. But also, if you're a waiter, if you're a server, it is your job to not serve underage people. Like, it doesn't matter if you're the boss. It's literally your job. You couldn't be sued.

[Ben]

Yeah, you can. You can't drink alcohol in public areas where children might be, such as beaches, parks, and streets and the. Oh, I don't know why there might be children in those streets. Stop drinking.

[Ronnie]

And then also, why would anybody have children in a place where you can't Drink around them. That's. That's just nuts. My mom would have been like, no, not doing it. Take him.

[Ben]

The only exception to the alcohol ban in public areas is on the terraces of bars and restaurants and other legally authorized areas. Well, other legally authorized areas. That could be anywhere. Come on, Ibiza, get it together.

[Ronnie]

Let's be that they have to have light rules, you know? Okay, so Danny's got an alcohol ban.

[Ben]

In Ibiza, by the way, that happened in. In May of this year. Wow, fascinating.

[Ronnie]

Well, thank God for Coke then. So Danny is like, yeah, I'm not the boss. And Diana's like, well, Daisy doesn't give a fuck. Wow, you're both turning right at the same time. And so then Sherry, the mom's like, I want to go sail. I want to go tip. I'm going to go sideways. I want to do that whole thing where people are sliding across. God, I love watching poor people slide and fall. Oh, I hope the door opens and glass flies at someone's face. Make it happen, Captain Glenn. I'm your biggest fan.

[Ben]

Okay, I could do that. So meanwhile, Daisy's like, by the way, Cloys, do you want to walk through your manual? He's like, okay, so it's gonna first gonna be a gelatinized tomato tartare. And this could be a tuna tartar. And then the third thing is gonna be a squidding pasta over tartar sauce. And fourth course is gonna be a vanilla cake made of tea tartar. Okay, well, that's a bit of a theme there, but who's leftover from the tip?

[Ronnie]

Well, great. Please don't say gelatinized. That is disgusting. Is that really something that people. I've never heard that term in restaurants. I mean, I've heard it, but I haven't heard it used to sell food like it's supposed to.

[Ben]

Gelatinized is not.

[Ronnie]

That's not good.

[Ben]

You just. Or at least find the French word for it, like o jalet. Say that, you know. Exactly. Yeah. Because, like, as long as that sounds French or Italian, it's gonna sound like, exquisite, but gelatinized. That's not gonna. It's not gonna do it.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's not good. So he tells us the story about how his 16th birthday, I was a guest chef for a culinary festival in Mexico, and I cooked 450 people that day. So then they brought me up on stage and they had me do a model walk down the Runway. And then I posed with like 30 supermodels. And then they were like, to you, the most reliable Chef on the west coast.

[Ben]

And by reliable, we mean reliably unfuckable for us, because we're all supermodels. So he's like, yeah, I just want to make Alana's 16th birthday just as special as his birthday, being in proximity to a gorgeous woman. So.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I just want to make it so special for Alana. I can tell you one thing, my girl's not doing ever working. Okay, so then, Glenn, radio says, time to start sailing. Be sure all the doors are closed. Lol. And so then.

[Ben]

Emma, it's time for you to learn about the Mizzen for the 10th time this season. All right? So we're gonna do the mizzen first while we're hoisting. All right, the mizzen. And when the donkey bit is going in, that's when I can go in and go have some tea, right? No, no, no tea. A siggy. I'll have a ciggy then. No, a nap. I'll take a nap during the mizzen part, right? No, no, you have to watch and be. I don't know, Gary. I'm not really listening. I'm gonna go get a tea after all.

[Ronnie]

Bye. It's just really difficult having to do something with the donkey when that's what everyone on this boat makes me feel like. Like, you know what I mean? Really got to chamomile this up right now because I'm about to lose it.

[Ben]

Chamomile it up. I just woke up feeling so Earl Gray, but I've moved into a camel place. I'm so happy. So Gary's like. He like, no. Okay, well, you don't want us here with the boat. All right, whatever. So then the. The now we start sailing, and the boat is more sideways than ever before because that lady is like, oh, let's go super sideways. Let's go more sideways than any Viking ship in old Scandinavia. So everything is falling out. Things were crashing. It's all the usual thing. And Dave's like, glad, Glad. Can we please bow? The Peters of all. Not in the basket.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's like mayhem. And everybody's holding on to everything like normal, you know? And then the gay and Alana. I think it's Alana. Oh, no. Sherry, the mom. They come in to talk about the 16th birthday party decor, and the game is just cracking me up. He's like, we want white clap. That's what we want, girl. Like, he is so 5 times 500. I really liked him. I was. He was making me laugh so hard. And by the Way.

[Ben]

Tell me you're from Minnesota without telling me you're from Minnesota. She has, like, a bag full of decor for dinner tonight. She's like, I just brought some fun things from Target. You know, it's our local company in Minneapolis.

[Ronnie]

List.

[Ben]

Just some cute things, some ideas and some decor inspo. Just fun stuff. I'm like, my friend Nikki is from Minnesota, who you've met. Like, this is some she would do. She would totally go onto a super yacht with an extra bag of luggage with decor and, like, sweatshirts and just, like, fun things. They just thought this would be cute. Just put it up somewhere. I don't know. I like it.

[Ronnie]

It was pretty funny. And then Brandon's like, oh, my God, that tail. The. The sales are up. They're trying to kill us. So they got the party settled, right? And then Glenn notices that Emma's having a lot of trouble, and he's like, oh, when you're putting that much effort into training somebody, you've got to see results. And if she doesn't get it quickly in about 24 more charters, she's out of here.

[Ben]

Yeah, because after Gary sat with Emma, Emma's taught her everything about the mizzen in that scene. Or not everything, but, like, walked her through it. It. When it's time to take the mizzen down, Glenn's like, hey, can you do the mizzen, Emma? And she goes, yeah, can someone just talk me through it? I've actually never even heard of what is a mizzen. I don't think I've ever have. We always had the cell. Did you just add the sale while I was downstairs getting coffee? This is new set, right? Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Poor Emma. Literally, she's going to be poor forever because she can't. She. She can't get anything. There's always so then choice. Say it again.

[Ben]

There's always real estate. Show a picture of her holding up her glamorous marching.

[Ronnie]

I can't wait to get back to that real estate ball. So now they're going over dinner service. Course is going over dinner service. Announcing first course. And he's like, okay, well, I have plates, and you're going to need a fork. Okay, so the second. The second course is also on plates. Do we have that? Do we understand that? Like, I'm so proud of you. Look at you. Go, voice.

[Ben]

So then there's like, this moment where the guests are, like, swimming, and they come out onto the swim platform, and this one guy is, like, showering off or whatever, but he's, like, looking for A towel. And so Gary. Gary's doing something, and so he runs over and he gets the towel for the guys. Like, here you go. Here's a towel for you. And the guy's like, thank you. And then Gary, like, shuts off the shower. And then Gary does something else, and they got, like, walks away.

[Ronnie]

And Emma.

[Ben]

We just see Emma's just standing there the whole time, just staring while arms.

[Ronnie]

Crossed, like, I mean, look at that. Well, you just hand him a towel. Why would you do such a thing? That's insane.

[Ben]

Just. Just watching Gary do all this stuff for this guest. And Emma was already there, like, Gary was doing something else and came over to do this, was just watching.

[Ronnie]

So he comes over to her, and he's like, so you're happy to be here, right, Em? She's like, I mean, I suppose, you know, are bumps happy to be on logs? Does anyone ask them? Would they be able to answer if you did ask them, Would anybody be able to hear them when they'd never use their ears to even listen to logs in the first place? Do you understand? Well, I've never felt sorry for wood before, but are you sure you want to be here? Because I just have to be honest with you, and that's rare for me. I see a lot of lack of urgency around everywhere and a lot of waiting around, watching us work. She's like, oh, back when. Could you name a moment?

[Ben]

And he's like, well, the other day, he's doing all this, and you're standing there watching him. And now I'm going there, putting a shower on, helping them out here and giving out towers, and you're standing there. And she goes, oh, well, I thought they could see the towers. I didn't realize I was just gonna stare until they picked up the tower for themselves.

[Ronnie]

Are they blind? I mean, should I have given them sticks to feel around for towels? Because they have eyes, and the eyes were right on the towels.

[Ben]

So I thought by them seeing me staring at the towers, they would then continue their gaze towards the towers that were as well, and then pick it up for themselves. That's how it works, right?

[Ronnie]

All right. Well, I just feel that if I ask you to do things, you're like, no, I can't do that. But then you go for a coffee, and then you go for a cigarette, and there's another coffee, and then it's back inside. Well, I don't drink coffee, so that's impossible.

[Ben]

I know that was a big counter, but unfortunately, these full circuits accusations are based off of the theory That I drink coffee, but the truth is I don't. I drink tea. Say, oh, okay, well, tea or whatever. Just seems like to me that there's no sense of urgency. And I don't know if you want to carry on working on yachts after this, but, I mean, it seems like you really don't want to be here. Well, apparently do. Is it that I don't want to be here? Does anyone not want me? Because last time I checked, everyone wanted to kill me and not me. So, I mean, who's to blame?

[Ronnie]

I mean, it's exactly right. I mean, are you sure that you're even talking about me, or is this some coffee swilling other unfuckable that we're discussing here?

[Ben]

Is there some Folgers Light trollop who's roaming the decks of this boat that you're discussing? Because that's certainly not me who you're describing.

[Ronnie]

I mean, listen. And he's like, well, I didn't know if you want to carry on working on yachts after this, but it seems like you don't want to. And she's like, well, I mean, I think that's really unfair that you're putting this all on me. I mean, you've had no feedback at all, and then all of this comes out of nowhere, you know, I mean, this is just dates back now. I mean, it's just shitty. I mean. Got coffee. When was this? Prehistoric times. Emma saw you riding a dinosaur. Did you? Did you? Well, I haven't done that for years, so. Are you even talking about the same Emma? You know, I've changed on the inside since then.

[Ben]

All right, well, I just want you to prove from where we are now, which is. You're terrible. She goes, well, yeah, it's really hard to improve when all you see is a snapshot of all the hard work I do staring at guests, waiting for them to pick up things for themselves.

[Ronnie]

Well, it's just what I've noticed, and we're a team and it feels like you need to do more. So I'm just trying to tell you so you can improve on urgency. And she's like, well noted. I'm going to sit here and think about this meditatively. Right.

[Ben]

All right, well, you know what? I am going to get a coffee. I think my takeaway here is that I don't have to just have tea. I can expand into coffee. Thank you, Gary.

[Ronnie]

Thank you for offering. That's one.

[Ben]

I'm gonna do this urgently. I'm urgently going to have a coffee right now.

[Ronnie]

So then Glenn's like, whoa, habakkuk. She didn't fall asleep in the middle of a sentence, so that's good. He's like, well, I tried to speak to her in the nicest way possible without using my penis, which was very difficult, actually. It's the most words I've ever used with a woman.

[Ben]

Well, let's let her simmer down a bit and then see what happens in the next couple of days. I'm like, emma, simmer down. Down. Has she even reached a. Like, has. Has a bubble even come to the surface?

[Ronnie]

Even turn on the stove, girl.

[Ben]

The stove is not on.

[Ronnie]

Sim her down. She's down.

[Ben]

Well, Daisy, guess what? Gary's just come up to me, accused me of being someone who drinks coffee like an American. And he asked me if I want to even be here. And then he said he and Keith are carrying too much of my weight. So I guess I'm fat now. And I feel like it could have been easily avoided as well if they just come to me sooner. And she's like, well, I think that Gary really struggles with confrontation. Well, it just seems to me to be the. But I'm seem to be the butt of most of the confrontations, so that's quite ironic. And I literally can't trust them as far as I can throw them. I think I need a nap. Can you play, please pass me a cup of coffee.

[Ronnie]

Well, I feel for Emma, and I can understand her through insecurities, but I empathize with Gary because it's Gary. I love him, but, yeah, it's like, we're on a super yacht, so he'll do your work. So then Diana is like. So we see interior setting up for this party, and Daisy's, like, trying to move quickly, but Danny's just around, you know, would you like to date me? Balloon. Oh, really? Did I miss my chance with you? Pop off balloon. That's what I say. Hey, hey, ladies.

[Ben]

Yeah, Danny is literally just like, joking around with Gary and Glenn in, like, the cockpit area. And Daisy is frantic, and she pops in and she's like, like, darling, please, I really need your help right now. And Danny is, like, playing with some sort of, like, slinky or goo or whatever. She's like, isn't this really cool, Gary? So Diana's like, I completely understand dizzy side and why she's mad priority and is work. You have your work as priorities. Service, decorations, cocktails, whatever needs to be done. Russian oligarchs wait for no one, and I wait for no one too. So it needs to be ready.

[Ronnie]

So then it is time for dinner. And Gary's like, what's this? And klutz is like, it's a puffed rice cracker. They're gonna eat tuna with it. And he's like, oh, baby clothes. Yes. So now upstairs is my favorite of the mom. She's like, all right, everybody, I want to give a toast to Atlanta Grace. Okay, Today I'm going to give you some words of wisdom. Okay? Now I've learned in life that it's very important to take the high road road and enjoy life as it comes. Drop the mic. Drop the mic.

[Ben]

I learned that. I learned that on television. And she throws this, like, microphone down on the table. The table has, like, a centerpiece that has one of those Homer Simpson pink donuts with the sprinkles bitten out of it. I'm like, you. You do remember that you're doing white. Like, we really want, like, white glove service. So it really accentuates the Homer Simpson donut we place in the middle of the table.

[Ronnie]

You know what? Waste not, want not. Two birds in a hand. Drop the mic. Drop it.

[Ben]

And Brandon's like, that was good. So good.

[Ronnie]

So funny. And so Alana's like, thanks for the words of wisdom, but that's not really a drop the mic moment. And the mom's like, I just need some tequila is what I need. Just get me some tequila.

[Ben]

Okay, Drop the mic.

[Ronnie]

Drop the mic. So then Kois is like, so have you seen this situation before, Captain? Look what I'm doing over here. I've got broth of purple cabbage, and then when it's introduced with acid, it turns this sick fuchsia color red. Right? I'm gonna do it on the table tonight. He's like, wow, I'm so pleased. He's really pulling out the stops. He just made purple turn less purple.

[Ben]

All right, guests, you're in for a treat for your sweet 16. You're gonna see some cabbage induced magic. Enjoy.

[Ronnie]

I believe in cabbage.

[Ben]

So now they're gonna.

[Ronnie]

The.

[Ben]

The adults are gonna go off to Ibiza. Ibiza. To go clubbing and everything like that. And meanwhile, everyone loves. I'm sorry. They're gonna do that after dinner. They're still eating dinner, and everyone's loving it. It looks very nice. And Daisy's like, I knew Cloys had it in him. This is what he was supposed to be doing. And this is fantastic. Now all I need to do is keep it up for the rest of the season. What I'm trying to say is, Good work, Daisy. If you'd like to book me for a motivational tour, you can reach my agent at 555daisy.

[Ronnie]

My motto is, get your head out your ass, you stupid arsehole.

[Ben]

Move over, Brene Brown. Daisy's in town. Hey, that's rhyme. I'm already inspired.

[Ronnie]

So David is like, oh, good chef, good success, huh? What do you think? I. I want to prepare. I want to present you with a gift for making dinner so special tonight. It's my butthole. It is my butthole. Stop getting shots of Davide's butthole and everything. It's a lot of butthole from Davide. Big.

[Ben]

That gaping, gaping butthole going up to the top bun.

[Ronnie]

I feel like. I feel like you're. You're just asking. I don't know what. Just stop. Just put it away. I feel like I'm being sucked into a vortex. It just feels like I'm being groomed. I don't know what it is, but put it away, sir.

[Ben]

I name my left butt cheek Sicily, and my right but cheek Italy. So in the crack is whatever that is. So then, you know, the first time.

[Ronnie]

I had a straight in my crack.

[Ben]

So they go, now the guests are going off. And so Keith, they. They go off. Teenagers are in the Jacuzzi having a nice time. They. They are. They're. They're inhaling a lot of helium. And then now it's like 2 in the morning. Keith goes off to pick up the guests from the club on the tender. And in the meantime, Gary wakes up because Gary has to go to the swim platform to meet the guests when they come on. And when Gary goes up to the deck, he's, like, talking to Danny, but then all of a sudden, he sees something and he gets very startled and he starts running away. And I was like, did a lady just come on board? A lady? Somebody lady came on board, right?

[Ronnie]

New boobs. But no, the boat is about to crash into another boat. And I don't know whose fault it is. I'm blaming the smaller boat because, yeah, be careful. You're a small boat.

[Ben]

You're a small boat. And like. But also, like, what's happening here? Like, why the boats are. None of the. The yacht's not moving.

[Ronnie]

They're drifting into each other. Well, I can't tell which one is drifting if it's their boat or if it's the little boat that's drifting, but they're, like, about to hit it. And so he's like, wake up, wake up. What happened in Glenn? And so she does. And. And then she wakes up Emma, and she's like, emma, wake up. There's a boat in front of us. And Emma's just like, oh, God, just did a horn play on board. Just let it pass already. I mean, God, if it did crash into us, it would be the first that's tried to crash into me this entire summer. So, you know, people bring it on.

[Ben]

People are always saying, oh, we would like ships in the night. Well, how about this? Let the ships crash into each other. That way they don't have to say that anymore. That way they can say we were ships in the night who crashed into each other and we had a great time. It's okay. Listen, I don't wake me up because there's a ship in front of me. Wake me up because there's a cup of coffee in front of me. That's what I want. Okay, I'm going back to bed.

[Ronnie]

She's addicted now to coffee.

[Ben]

Yeah, she always wants coffee right before feet. She's like, I'm gonna not give me some cool feet. She doesn't understand.

[Ronnie]

All right, everybody, thank you so much for being with us today. What a fun time. Thank you so much, everybody.

[Ben]

Thank you so much.

[Ronnie]

And we will be back with lots coming up, Beverly Hills starts this week. Salt Lake City, New York is still on for whatever reason. And we'll be back to talk about all that fun stuff later in the week. In the meantime, go check out all of our other fun episodes and bonus episodes and all that stuff at Patreon, and we will talk to you next time. Bye, everybody. Bye.

[Ben]

Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto.

[Ronnie]

Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt, Dana C. Dana Do Aaron McNicholas.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Hava Nagila Weber Know your worth with Jason Kurtz.

[Ben]

Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach she's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson rigging the funk It's Leslie Plunkett, she gets.

[Ronnie]

A name from us. It's Lindsay D. Let's give a kissarino.

[Ben]

To Lisa Lino Always killing it. It's Lola, Al Kalani, we love her.

[Ronnie]

On the rocks it's Melissa Cox, Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without.

[Ben]

The burg have a heck of a.

[Ronnie]

Time with Rebecca the highest Tally it's.

[Ben]

Sarah McNally cast a spell with Shannon Spellman the Bay area and our super premium sponsors somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva let's get real with Caitlin.

[Ronnie]

O'Neal don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily.

[Ben]

Sides Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Juni my Favorite Myrtle Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Chadley let's go.

[Ronnie]

On a bender with Lauren Fender She's.

[Ben]

A whiz It's Liz Sie the incredible.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

Miss Noelle ring that bell Poor Rochelle she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a canon Anthony let's take off with Tamla Plane she ain't.

[Ronnie]

No shrinking violet Qar we love you guys if you like watch what crap ins. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.

[Ben]

Have you ever wondered who created that.

[Ronnie]

Bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge?

[Ben]

Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly? Introducing the best idea yet. A brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with. Listen to the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[E]

I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondery show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US History. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, Corporate fraud. In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Pearlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world World the Backstreet Boys and NSync. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants, and real estate. But Perlman's successful facade crumbles after he's sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from them. And soon, investigators discover that Perlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme. Follow American Scandal on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery. You can join Wondery plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial today.