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Ben
Audible's best of 2024 picks are here.
Ronnie
From memoirs and sci fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment.
Ben
Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984 and Percival Everett's.
Ronnie
Brilliantly subversive James Audible, there's more to.
Ben
Imagine when you listen.
Ronnie
I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again because last time I read that was back in I don' middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible.
Ben
Especially when it's told by a full cast like that, like it's a full production that's going to be like a radio play. You know, that's major. Go to audible.com crap ins and discover all the years best waiting for you. That's audible.com crap ins this time of year is busy.
Ronnie
Family obligations, holiday parties, travel, relaxation might fall to the bottom of your priority list.
Ben
You guys. You need to take time to relax and you need to be somewhere where there's soft white sand, healing crystal blue water, cloudless skies. We know where that place is.
Ronnie
Aruba. Shake off any cold weather blues and enjoy the island's invigorating sunshine. Aruba has the most sunny days anywhere in the Caribbean.
Ben
I promise you this trip is going to be at least 10 times better than a trip to Aaron's Hampton's home on Real Housewives of New York. But that doesn't take much. I mean, it doesn't even compare. Aruba is a geeky, gorgeous.
Ronnie
Please always use Aruba over Aaron's home. We know you can't stay on vacation forever, but a trip to Aruba, it honestly, it just never ends. Because the happiness and relaxation you feel in your bones, it just stays with you.
Ben
Book your trip today@aruba.com instead of gifting.
Ronnie
More meaningless stuff this year, Shutterfly allows you to create truly personal and meaningful gifts for your family and friends with custom photo gifts.
Ben
Explore gifts like blankets, mugs, photo books, and calendars@shutterfly.com all easy to customize in minutes with your favorite photos.
Ronnie
It's perfect for thoughtful stocking stuffers like personalized ornaments, travel mugs, puzzles, magnets, and more.
Ben
I made my parents a beautiful photo book. From there I just took all these family photos that we had saved. We had to throw a lot of them away just because it takes up an entire attic, you know, I mean, I come from a huge Lebanese family and we had all these pictures and we finally just digitized them and it was so easy to just format them into a book. And it's beautiful. I still see it there every time I'm over there. And they really loved it.
Ronnie
Enjoy. 40% off your shutterfly. Order with code CRAPINS40 and make something meaningful this year. Get free shipping on qualified orders. See site for more details. Kids, what happens when there's so much. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hi, everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe.
Ben
So then Britney is. She's like, oh, my God, guys, listen, I don't even care what he was doing when we were broken up, okay? Because I was dating like 10 guys and they're like, whoa. And Lisa goes. And doing none of them, right? She goes, well, yeah, because I date BYU style, which means you just kiss at the end of the date. Am I right, everybody? Do not call me slutty. I'm going to be really mad if anybody does.
Ronnie
So Heather's like, oh, yeah, she's doing all the soaking in the docking. And then Heather explains soaking and docking, for those who have not heard about it, when she describes it as it's fourth of July. You know, you take your bun, you separate it, and then they go and they place the dog in the bun. Okay? So soaking is penetration without motion. But you can't move. And because if you do, whilst you move in the middle of a soak, it becomes sex, which is outlawed.
Ben
This is crazy. So why were you talking about that this week? Was it because of this episode?
Ronnie
I talked about it somewhere. I think maybe I talked about it on a podcast I was on. I definitely talked about it recently.
Ben
You talked about it?
Ronnie
I think it was on this. I think I talk about. Yeah. Did I talk about. Was it you who I talked about? I don't know what I'm saying to anyone. I probably. I probably told my parents. I was like, mom, dad, have you heard about soaking? But yeah, but I, I erroneously. Much like Brooks Marks himself, I thought soaking was what we later found out to be jump pumping, which is that you get into a soak position and then someone jumps on the bed to make it. Make it move. But it's apparently just. It's just the, the mere act of insertion.
Ben
So what is soaking in what's the docking part. Did she get to the docking?
Ronnie
That is when you only have to use one cable to do it.
Ben
I think ducking of where you put all the penises into one vagina and then that vagina plugs into one penis.
Ronnie
Yeah. No, I think. I think that soaking and docking are the same thing.
Ben
Oh, okay. It's like a. Like a double. You soak the thing that's docking in you. Probably.
Ronnie
Well, it's kind of like, yeah, maybe the docking. Maybe like if you're the man, you're soaking because you're putting your dick in and you're just soaking in vagina. Whereas if you're the woman, you're. The vagina is docking because it's attaching onto something.
Ben
I wonder if the docking. I think it's as dramatic as it is on below deck, where they're like, oh, my God. All right, we're pulling it in. We're pulling it. That is soaking. That is definitely soaking. All right, get a little to the left of that lip there. We're almost in. We are. We're going to die. We're all going to die. This penis is going to die. This is a $20 million penis, and we're all going to up. We made it. We're in. We're in. All right, everybody, we're docked. Let's just sit here and get soaked.
Ronnie
Emma's on the penis. Well, that was insufferable. I'm going to have a cigarette spray. Is there smoke coming? Time to poach.
Ben
You got time to soak. All right.
Ronnie
Is there a. Is there a deck hand that just got fired out of your vagina? It's walking away with a backpack.
Ben
Why is there an ovary riding up a mountain on a donkey? Because I told it to get the fuck out of here. That's why.
Ronnie
Why are there so many crates of produce going into your vagina? Oh, we're doing provisions. Provisions on the penis. Okay. If you don't watch Flow deck, this makes sense.
Ben
You should watch my dad. Heather explains. She tries to explain to the producer what it is, and she's like, well, I can't explain it. Only the good Lord can. But if you were to tell that to your religious leaders, they would say, was there thrusting? Was there pumping? Was there an orgasm? And if you could say, no, no, no. They would say, go with God, young lady. Go with God.
Ronnie
It's almost like Mary jumps in to Heather's talking head segment because she just tells everyone, I'm bored. Can we do something? If we sit here much Longer. We just know that Heather's gonna be talking to the producers about something annoying. So they do their.
Ben
Have you ever done it?
Ronnie
I have very tired. I mean.
Ben
I mean, this is basically how I have sex with their describing. I just get it, you know, here's my job. Doing the helicopter and getting it ready to go. Okay? That's the hard part for me. No pun intended. What you do with it is up to you. I just lie there. So you dock it. You can start pressing buttons like it's a remote control. Maybe it'll turn the Apple TV channels. I don't know what it's going to do, but I don't do anything, I'll tell you that. So I've been a good Mormon this whole time.
Ronnie
Yeah. Look at you. Go with God. So then Heather does a whole spiel about how her great, great, great grandfather brought potato sacks. It's like. It's not interesting, it's not funny, and it's also all fake. So whatever. They just had to pad out two minutes of time. So now we have a potato sack race, which is fun, and it's cute, and they're doing it and silly. And there's fun and games, and one team wins, one team loses, and then they all settle down to eat, because it's also kind of like a potluck. So Angie's like, by the way, I just want to make sure everyone tried my little Greek flag number. And if you notice, there was an olive branch on it. And Mellie's like, oh, I know it's Rosemary, but I couldn't find an olive branch. But thank you for pointing that out, Mellie.
Ben
Shut the fuck up, Melee. So Heather goes, well, Brittany and I were talking about our biggest memories from girls camp, and so we were wondering if you guys could share your biggest memories from girls. Brittany is like, oh, my favorite memory. Not you, Brittany. You were just already talking about it.
Ronnie
I know. She's like, the second day before testimony, you go into the wilderness by yourself, and you sing all the Sondheim songs you can remember.
Ben
And Heather's like, then you come back with a man. They interrupted this story. But you know that Britney's like, and then that's where I met my first camp counselor that I dated, because I don't believe Britney has any story having to do with her doing anything alone that doesn't involve not finding a man in it. I don't believe it.
Ronnie
So then, Angie. Angie. I love Angie here. She's. This is such a shady question. She's like, so, are you Still a practicing Mormon or is that just your childhood? Angie, who just went to this frickin Sunday night Bible study thing is like, so are you still practicing because you live such an illicit lifestyle?
Ben
I think when you're leading the choir song in your living room and you're, you're doing the choir conducting with your fingers and you're doing the like kind of old lady in church voice where you're like, when you slow down your vibrato that much to just sound as Jesusy as possible, you're still practicing, Angie.
Ronnie
Yeah. So Angie's like, does your bishop know that you drink? And because it's not against our Greek religion to drink. And we take communion, by the way. So I was super taken aback when you got upset at me for bringing a bottle of wine when we all know you're basically an alcoholic.
Ben
And Brittany's like, well, I just thought it was odd. And I felt like you just did it for show. But I wasn't meaning to shame you. I just, in the moment, I just thought, it's od. I mean, why would she do that? And by the way, Jared and I are back together again. Okay, go ahead. Do you have any more questions?
Ronnie
Well, I just thought it was weird that you like pointed out at a public event and then you thanked me with a text saying how beautiful the wine was and it's just mixed messages. Do I offer you wine at my house? What do I do? And Mary just starts going two faced. Two faced, whole thing. Two faced.
Ben
Well, I don't think it was meant to be shaming or chronicle. I just think she was trying to see how she felt and it didn't feel good. Two faced, that's two faced. I don't feel like it's two faced. Oh, well, why don't we refer back to manners and etiquette then, okay? Because just like Meredith. Just like you, Meredith, walking out of my house. That was very rude. That was very rude. And it was very offensive. And you ask, what about you asking people to leave? What about that, Mary, Britney, everyone's gonna get into each other's fights now.
Ronnie
I know. And Mary goes, I'm not talking to you. Shut up. Mary's like, well, that's not manners. Well, you know what? I do know manners. I do know etiquette. And you walking out of my house. Well, you asked me to leave and I did not feel welcomed and I was upset. And Mary's like, I didn't ask you to leave. I was talking to both of you. And I was just talking to you and Angie was screaming, and you were screaming, and I was telling both of you to be quiet. And if you can't be quiet, you can le. Leave. You know? Can I leave? I mean, this. Let's not forget this is. I am totally on Mary's side about this. They were screaming at each other, and Mary was trying to bring them together, and they were ignoring her, and she was trying to broker a piece, and she got frustrated, and she's like, if you're gonna. If you're not gonna listen to me, then you. Then you can get the hell out of here.
Ben
Well, then, bye. Then you can't get mad at me. Yeah, you gave me the option.
Ronnie
Right? But like, she wasn't. She wasn't just kicking them out. She was. She was basically saying like. Like, shut the up or you're gonna have to here. And then Meredith is like, well, she was corn me and belittle me, and out of nowhere said, I should leave the house. It's like, no, it was cuz you were acting. You were. She was trying to. She was trying to settle you guys down, and you were fully ignoring her, and she was the host.
Ben
So Mar's like. And you don't find that rude? And Meredith is like, well, let me put on my little crown of Brooksies. A bunch of flames going around. I could say that because I'm his mother. No, I don't think it was rude. And Angie's like, you two have a history. And that was really wrong. Greeks have history, and they do not walk out on each other. They murder each other and fling lightning bolts at each other. God, I love being Greek. I am Greek. But you also took the parting gift.
Ronnie
Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't grab the Yadro on the way out. And prom was like, not the Yadro. I had to look that up. What is it? I had no idea what a Yadro was. So it's. It's actually spelled L L, A D R O, but it's pronounced Yadro. And it's like little figur. Like those little, like, figurines. Those like, tchotchke.
Ben
I like that Angie changes up her joke for each shot.
Ronnie
I know. You know, it's like on a sitcom when they do different takes, they have to change up the joke a little bit to make sure the audience still likes.
Ben
She's a real Lisa Kudrow at that. So Meredith's like, well, I'm more happy to return the Notebook if you don't want me to have it. I mean, I grabbed my stuff and it was there. I mean, it was a quite lovely notebook. So I took that. And she's like, if you don't want to address it and you think you're right, then we'll leave it at that. And Whitney's like, yeah, marriage is a grudge holder for sure. She's playing the Lisa game. That's what's happening.
Ronnie
Whitney trying to jump in.
Ben
And then Whitney.
Ronnie
Bow, bow, bow, bow. Whitney, stop singing the what's Happening theme song. You only had to say, you don't have to sing it, too.
Ben
Don't lie, Heather. Why don't you ask Bronwyn what she says about you? You lie so badly, Whitney. And Whitney goes, wait a minute. What did I say about Heather? And Bronwyn's like, she's doing that there.
Ronnie
Are crabs in a bucket. The way they are pulling each other.
Ben
In odds, shaking her hair at you as she does. She's like.
Ronnie
I was a little surprised you guys were doing an event together, and today is a little surprised about. Yeah, yeah. So now Whitney jumps just so you're paying attention, because it happens so quickly. Whitney jumps in to take over the fight and then brings Lisa in. And then Lisa is like, if you're going to fight with me, I'm bringing Bronwyn in. So now we're at a totally different fight out of nowhere.
Ben
Wait a minute. What does Whitney say about me, Bronwyn? Well, she thinks you won't have your back because you'd rather be friends with Lisa when he's like, well, I will tell you exactly what I said. I said, trix are for kids, but they're also sometimes for adults. I love tricks.
Ronnie
Trix is my best friend and has a bar in Milwaukee. And I said, you're trying to stay good with Lisa. When Angie and I had problems with her at the time, and that's causing a bit of strain in our relationship. And Heather's like, but that's her feelings. I don't think that's deeply offensive. I think she always felt that way. So. So Whitney's basically like, hey, you know, out of everyone, I gave Bronwyn a chance in this group. And she's throwing. She just threw me under the bus. If you throw me under the bus, we're gonna back it up and run you over. I'm like, yeah, but you're also the chief bus under thrower Whitney.
Ben
Yeah, she's just learning. But, I mean, it just shows that Bronwyn fits right in. Cause I guess that's what they do, right? They hear one thing, then they go tattletale on each other. And then it does somewhat look messier with Bronwyn. Cause at least everyone else has kind of a side that they choose. And she's just like betraying everybod. She's like, fuck it. I'll take all the. Well, it's one person that really stood up for me last week and just completely throw her into the bus right now for fun, you know?
Ronnie
I know. I think what actually kind of annoys me about it is that, like, the whole basis of her feud with Heather is that Bronwyn threw some light shade at Whitney. And then Heather was like, I can't believe the shit that Bronwyn was saying about Whitney. And then, you know, Bronwyn's like, no, I mean, it was just like, light shade. Don't be mad at me. And it became the whole thing of this. And it was like, oh, my God, Heather is turning this light shade about. About Whitney into such a big thing. And Heather's being like a monster about it. And then once they finally settle it, the first thing that proven does is throw shade at Whitney again. It's like, lady, why did you just do that?
Ben
Yeah. So then Angie goes, oh, yeah, that is like when you said, can anyone really be friends with Lisa? You said that on that walk with us. And she's like, that is not true. You two had told me stuff about Lisa, and I said, I don't know that version of Lisa. And if you're going to talk to me like that, don't do it while in my. I'm in my Dino from the Flintstones costume, because it's very uncomfortable doing that on a hike.
Ronnie
So what? So Angie, out of nowhere, comes after Bronwin, and her. Her take is false, I guess. Is she trying to sort of be on Heather's side right now? I was so confused. And yeah, bro's like, no, I said, I don't know that version. And Angie's like, oh, fuck me over. Did I say, Lisa me over? You know. You know, you should borrow Meredith's hearing aids. Turn them up and hear me one more time.
Ben
Bronwyn.
Ronnie
And Bronwyn was like, I don't need murderous hearing aids because I got two right here. Let's go.
Ben
Wait a minute. That is very offensive. Making fun of my disability. We're making fun of impairments now.
Ronnie
You know how hard it is when you have an impairment raising a toddler. So then even. Even Heather cracks up. Even Heather's like, I was.
Ben
I died when she said, you need to get Meredith's ear.
Ronnie
It's crazy.
Ben
So of course Meredith is going to make it a march, a march on the Capitol about it.
Ronnie
I love it. So Bronwyn is like, this is what they said. They said, lisa, you have come repeatedly for people and I will see. And I said, I don't think I will see. And Lisa goes, yeah, you won't see that because you're lying right now. And Whitney's like, I am not. Don't call me a fucking liar. That's a lie. Whitney, don't lie. And then Mary's, Now Mary's like, wait, I was only started this fight, I'm coming back in. She's like, it's true. It's not true. It's true. It's not true. Now Lisa's just arguing with Mary. She was yelling at Whitney one moment and Mary steps in and now she's just yelling at Marion.
Ben
Mary's like, so unpredictable. I don't. They should have learned a long time ago not to even fight with Mary because it never makes any sense. And Mary just comes out of nowhere and she just berates you and then leaves like she did. She literally, you can't win a fight with Mary. She doesn't use any kind of logic. She just like sits there and like just shit talks you silent, you know, and so. But they do it, you know. I can't believe Lisa. I can believe. Cause we've seen Lisa go through this with Mary a million times. But Meredith, I thought Meredith was smarter than this. This is not a fight you want. Yeah, it's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap ins commercial.
Ronnie
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Ben
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Ben
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Ronnie
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D
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Ronnie
Like Mary, you're not around me enough don't make judgment calls. I don't judge you. She goes, oh, you're just a game. That's what you are. I'm a game? You don't even know me. Well, you talk behind people's backs all the time. You're the fakest person I think I've ever seen in my life.
Ben
Oh, yeah, Mary, you know what? You're the fakest person that I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. So you know what? Take that. And. Whereas, like, everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie. Like, oh, I have a Milan specialist. And then you see the flashback to Lisa being like, oh, my God, you guys. Like, I have to talk to my shopper in Milan because they send me all this. Lisa goes, oh, do you need me to call. What's her name then, Lisa? Danny. Her name is Danny. Oh, yeah, okay. What store does she work in then? Oh, my God. You're upset that I have this same Betty jumpsuit and I got mine from Fendi and I didn't have to get it off the rock.
Ronnie
Mary's like, you wore my outfits? Then Bronwyn tells us, I think fake Fendi is jumpsuit is some. Did she say bitch eating crackers? I rewound it three times.
Ben
Yeah.
Ronnie
Bitch eating crackers.
Ben
Yeah. Don't you know that?
Ronnie
Is that slang that. I just don't. No, I don't know about bitching crackers.
Ben
Look it up. It's so funny. It's old, but it's funny. Bitch over there eating crackers.
Ronnie
Mary doesn't like Lisa right now, so she's like, I wore it first. I wore it best, and I wore it on tv. And you wore it to walk around my house, which, honestly, is top tier shade. Mary, I'm here for it. Even though it's. I actually invented that shade right there. But that's fine. It's still really good. It was a collaboration.
Ben
So then Lisa's like, you know what? Oh. Cause Mary's like, well, I don't know how anyone could be friends with you. Meredith is crazy. And you said she slept with half of New York and she's the biggest whore and she's still your friend. And Lisa like, mary, you know what? Formulate your opinions with your own brain. Like, don't use, like, other people's brain.
Ronnie
Which then gets into Lisa saying, oh, yeah, keep talking. You keep talking. No, you keep talking. You keep talking. No, you keep talking. You can't shut. You can't shut me up. Well, you keep talking, because you know what? Keep talking. So Everyone can see that you're a fucking. Oh, ding bat.
Ben
Yeah, my head.
Ronnie
Like, you ding bat.
Ben
No, you keep talking. You keep talking. You keep talking. Talking. No, you can. Don't talk to me. You don't talk to me. You don't talk to me. What do you want? Do you want talking or no talking? What do you guys want? So then Mary's like, I don't have time. I don't have time for this. I don't have time for people starting fights with me. You started this. Mary literally started this. She's like, I don't have time for people starting fights with me. So she starts crying, basically because she's got a lot going on.
Ronnie
And when. When. And when he was like, hey, I think we all need to chill for a second. Everyone take a deep breath and then speak clearly one at a time. I'll start. You exploded my vagina. And Meredith's like, what?
Ben
Making fun of fun or lying of any disability, whether it's my hearing or my knee socks. That's very wrong. It's very wrong. And I find it highly offensive. A period. Period.
Ronnie
I wasn't talking about your hearing while you said meredith's hearing aid, and that's me. Is it possible you didn't hear me correctly? How dare you.
Ben
I like the way Auntie doesn't even apologize. She just goes, but she needs hearing aids.
Ronnie
Everyone wants to be all over me all the time for everything that I say. That's Bronwyn. I've been completely supportive of you. Well, there's. Listen, I. So I'm gonna talk from the temple of my head at you, okay? Everybody wants to be all over me for all the things that I say all the time. And she's like, no, I have been supportive of you. Well, there's been a lot of discussion about whether I'm truthful. And this is such bullshit on the heels of what just happened.
Ben
You started it, too. What are you even talking about over there? And then Andrew's like, oh, my God. Everybody shut the fuck up except Lisa and Mary. You should shut the fuck up, too, because this had nothing to do with you, Bronwyn. She goes, some bullshit. This is some absolute bullshit, Angie.
Ronnie
Well, apparently Angie can talk and everyone else can. Shot the phone call. So I'm going to stand up and walk away if I'm allowed to as an impaired person. Angie. And Angie's like, bronwyn said that on the heels of that conversation. Oh, you know what, Angie? Don't keep on yelling at me. I already shut my fucking Mouth for you. She's like, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to Meredith. Well, I'm not listening, so keep talking. That's. See? And now all of a sudden, I can't make impairment jokes.
Ben
And Bronwyn's like, say shut the fuck up one more time and you will never see me again. Oh, God, what a threat. And Andy's like, bronwyn, I've been nothing but nice to you except for telling you to shut the fuck up. So everybody, Everybody gets up and Mary goes, should never have left my house. Mary's like, look what you've done.
Ronnie
Never. They never even get to another event. They just all stand up and like, we're going home. So now, this is normally crazy.
Ben
I love this show. It's so nuts.
Ronnie
It's crazy. And then we now are going to go to a Shabbat dinner. So it's a day later, we're at Meredith's house, people are showing up. It's like a whole new episode has begun. And Meredith is like, well, after our day of camping, I now know why they call it roughing it. It was a very rough day and I'm excited to have. Have a smaller group of my friends over for Shabbat and have a lovely, peaceful dinner for once.
Ben
Which is basically the entire cast except for Mary and Whitney, right?
Ronnie
And Angie.
Ben
So. Oh, and Angie, right? So everybody starts arriving. Brod and Brod. Brod. Bron, Wynne and Todd arrive. And Bron was like, well, we dressed for Shabbat. I googled it. And I dressed up for Shabbat. Yeah, I googled it. And I googled what do a bunch of scarves look like on a coat rack? And then I married it. So.
Ronnie
So Bronwyn introduces Brit to Todd. And Britney's like. She's like, hi, I've heard almost nothing about you, but it was very lovely to meet you. And goes, oh, my God, my butthole is so clenched right now.
Ben
Not mine. Mine's looser than a goose. Am I talking out loud?
Ronnie
I could buy and sell 10 Donny Osmonds. Get out of my way, ladies. So then. Then Heather goes up to Chloe, and Heather's like, hi, Chloe. Chloe's like, hi. So look over there. That's Bronwyn and her husband Allen. She keeps calling Todd Allen.
Ben
And she goes, I don't know her. Chloe's so funny. She's like, I've never met her. So then it cuts to drunk Seth talking to Jared Osmond, and he's like, yeah, Jews drink and we're encouraged to have wine to celebrate life, you know, and the Mormons, they're shunned if they do that. And now that that's a flaw in the business model, huh?
Ronnie
Jared's like, yeah, but on the other hand, liberal tears. Am I right? So Chloe is like. Chloe's like, hey, Heather, did you go on a mission and then go to byu? And Heather's like, no, I graduated BYU and then I went on a mission. Oh. So do you know what, like, soaking is? Brooks, Brooks, get over here. Brooks, do you know what soaking is?
Ben
He's like, yeah, but I heard it's a myth.
Ronnie
It's not a myth, but jump pumping is a myth. What's jump pumping?
Ben
That's when you're talking or soaking and someone jumps on the bed so that there's motion without you exerting any energy. Wait a minute, I thought that's what soaking was.
Ronnie
Yeah, that's like tooth soaking. I'm pretty sure that's soaking.
Ben
No, soaking is like a dog in a bun. And Chloe's like, oh, my God, that sounds terrible.
Ronnie
There's like, yeah, I've never. I've never seen nor have I participated in jump pumping, but I definitely have soaked. I've soaked. I did. In a bolero jacket.
Ben
Well, we have diamond shaped coffee ice cubes, so that's something.
Ronnie
I know. Meredith just announcing this. And Heather just enter and the Heather just pushes past her is like, hi, Bronwyn, you look gorgeous. And so she basically meets Todd for the first time. He's like, hi, how are you, lady? You look like you're soaking wet right now. Well, if only you knew what we're just talking about. Oh, anyway, wow, firm grip. Okay. Strong handshake. I love a strong handshake. And Todd just, like, looks at the camera like, who is this crazy lady talking to me right now?
Ben
So then Lisa and John come and they all sit down and Meredith gives a speech. She's like, well, thank you for all coming. Shabbat, Shalom, sunrise, sunset. If I were a rich man. I'm just so excited to have everyone in my home. Tradition for what I feel like is a very special Shabbat Yantesh Shabbat dinner. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm embracing Judaism and musicals, and my Bat Mitzvah is getting closer than ever, which is a different musical, I don't think. Very Jewish, but still, it's a musical.
Ronnie
So I'm going to light the candles right now because, you know, traditions are important and I would like to welcome My children to do the prayer with me and Chloe. Chloe and Brooks doing the prayer. And their monotone over it voice is just. It's just the best shit. They're like, baruch atah, Adonai Master Chapel yell at you. Just like. They're so like. But they're into it. The funny thing is they're actually into it. But like, they're like, they do not. They are they being into something and they being bored. It's the exact same voice.
Ben
There's no code switching. All right, everyone, you know what I mean? That's just them at all times. It's so fucking funny. And also something that made me like Brooks even more was he went to the oven and he'd made challah. He made that. I pulled it out.
Ronnie
I mean, Brooks challah.
Ben
That's crazy.
Ronnie
It's wild.
Ben
That skinny little Twinkie making bread. I just love that.
Ronnie
Well, no, because he's trying to like, he's like moving out of twinkdom into more like buff weho. So he's clearly had to take on some like, carbs and stuff. So Jared then drops a bomb. He's like, well, my family is part Jewish. I was like, what? Jared Osman's part Jewish?
Ben
No.
Ronnie
So he has a bunch of aunts and uncles that are Jewish. And then it turns out John Barlo is also partially Jewish. Because Lisa was playing around on Ancestry.com and find found this out and she talks about like, yeah, John thought he was just going to find out about its roots. But then I found out all this information. I called this person and that person and that person and I found out he's actually like third cousins with like Topol. And then John's like, yeah, it was like really traumatizing. And Brahman's like, wow, Lisa, this is like a part time job for you. John, my child, you're just everywhere. I was like, oh, gosh, Broman, she's trying it. That's such an awkward thing to say.
Ben
She's trying it. And she's like, no, that was Kezmet. That was Kezman. Well, that's another musical. Thank you for the support, Lisa.
Ronnie
Really well, I've got something to say about ancestry.
Ben
Okay.
Ronnie
It's interesting. When Brahman and I started dating, I went to the original ancestry, the nsa and I said, give me a background check on this lady. She laughed at all my Palm Pilot jokes and I'm suspicious of her. No one laughs at those. Look into her. And she was fine.
Ben
Ancestry.com or as I call them, the US government. I made palm pilots like, congrats, Todd. Geez. And everyone's just like, shocked into silence, like, wow. And what does that have to do with ancestry again? And he's just folding.
Ronnie
Why is the nsa.
Ben
I told these motherfuckers, I'm. I'm. I'm connected to the nsa.
Ronnie
Yeah. And also, like, why. Why is the. Why is the NSA using our government dollars to do background checks on Bronwyn? I mean, I. I support it because I think it's so campy that I. I appreciate our government doing campy things, but, like, you really probably should be doing other things, rather. Requests from private citizens to do background checks.
Ben
And Heather's like, I mean, you know, oh. So then they start talking about the party, right? Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Heather's like, full background check. That's not the thing of fairy tales that a girl dreams to hear about or to be announced to her friends. Maybe a cursory Google search.
Ronnie
Sure.
Ben
So now they start. Oh, Heather goes, well, I hope the BYU expulsion came up. And he's like, oh, it came up, all right. That.
Ronnie
So Then Lisa's like, so, Heather, what did you do today? She's like, well, I cried into my pillow after my camping failure yesterday. It was horrifying. And this is like, yeah, we really rocked ahead because we all decided to scream at each other at once. And Brahman's like, well, here's how I see it. Angie got really feisty with me because I was saying something that she didn't want the two of you to hear me say, which, by the way, I don't even remember. I still don't know why Angie was mad, but, like, whatever, I'll just go with it. At this point.
Ben
I don't like, what.
Ronnie
Did Bronwyn say that had a reason.
Ben
To really be mad?
Ronnie
I don't know.
Ben
They just were all jumping on each other. Yeah, it was just like a lazy season of anger, you know? So it's like everybody just taking something. They're like, here we are. We're at work. Let's fight about some shit in the circle, you know? So then. So Heather's. Yeah, Heather's like, well, I think. But, you know, it's normal and natural for friends to talk shit behind each other's. But why do you have to throw them under the bus? And Bronwyn's like, well, I think that there's a place where you want to be a friend, and at some point, everybody talks about everybody, but you're in a good place with them. And it's Funny and cheeky and sassy, but then when you're not, it's offensive and hurtful, right? I mean, I'm not mistake free. I can be a real snarky cut. Fitness for sure. And Ta'al goes, don't say that. Do not say that.
Ronnie
Hey, I'm gonna call the NSA and do another background check on my wife to see if she was ever a sailor without mouth. Jeez. So Bronwyn is. She's like, well, at some point, you guys will realize whether you like it or not. And, you know, whatever I say, you may not like it, but it's never been untrue. And like, Bronwyn, I feel like Bronwyn's being really extra at this Shabbat, like no one else is. She's. She's just in a different temperature than the rest of the room.
Ben
And they're like, okay, yeah, she's still auditioning too hard. She's coming in and she's trying to start a war at every episode. And it's like, you just spent the last episode sobbing that everybody's trying to start wars with you, and then everyone's being nice to you, and now you're trying to restart wars with new people. Just chill, okay? Your job is secure. You're doing fine.
Ronnie
She's doing a great job. She's doing a great job all season. This was the first episode where I felt like she was actually a little, like, a little off. So Meredith is like. Lisa's like, by the way, Mari crossed the line yesterday, and I don't think that, like, I don't like the way she's treating Meredith. Meredith's like, well, with everything with Mary, I'm really upset. I mean, do you know how long I had to stare at that tiger photograph and pretend to like it? It was awkward. And the small talk with a girl behind the desk, it was terrible. So I don't know where things will end, and I don't know what to say. I stood by her and I supported her. And now I'm seeing a sign that I didn't really know. I'm like, did you not watch this TV show? This is like the most obvious side of Mary you could find.
Ben
But then everyone starts, so maybe something's going on with Mary. Maybe something is going on. And Britney's like, oh, guys. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Jared just took a dinner roll, which I think means he's asked me to have his children. Thank you, Jared. Probably. The answer is probably, oh. Also, maybe we should give Mary some grace, because maybe Something's going on with Mary. So then we get a very ham handed, a very ham handed entry into a serious scene about a child. Because it's like serious music. A church bell, children playing in the echoes, a scooter falling over in the street with the wheel still spinning. I was like, jesus, did somebody get kidnapped?
Ronnie
But we, we know what this is going towards because we've all seen previews and everything. So this is like a pretty gut wrenching scene. Probably don't really have to get into it too granularly, but basically Mary goes up to have this. Finally have this conversation with Robert. And you know, you're kind of expecting him to say the same thing, like, no, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. But he just kind of comes out with it. He's like, yeah, I'm doing Xanax and I take an Adderall to deal with the Xanax. And then I do Xanax with cocaine and I do it with Molly. And he's been doing. Does it with like he's taking oxy. I mean, it's like he is, you know, he's gone down a path. And Mary, like her heart is breaking hearing all this and really being confronted with this. And it is, it is gut wrenching to watch.
Ben
Just the whole setup was bizarre. First of all, he seemed kind of lucid, which was odd cause he seemed not so. And I mean, as the scene went on, his eyes were still kind of opening and closing really slowly and stuff. But it was just an odd scene. The whole setup was weird. It was like, okay, we're just going to have this talk. And she's like, you're going to tell me. And she just like sat there and just waited and waited. And then finally he did and he just kept. I mean, once he opened up, it was like he wasn't even really nervous. He was just like, okay. And then he told a little bit and she's like, okay. And then he just kept. I mean, everything he said got worse and worse, you know, as he went. And then she just started sobbing and basically saying like he said, you know, you're going to die. She's like, you're going to die. You know, do you even see that this is a problem? And he just kind of stared at her like, no. And then he kind of, he finally said, you know, I wanted to die and I feel like a stain. Which is just.
Ronnie
Yeah, it was, oh my God, that was like a dagger. And he at one point also said that he felt like life was like unseasoned chicken. And getting high was like his way of adding seasoning, which I was. Was like, it was pretty profound, but also very, very well.
Ben
That's the biggest part of drug addiction. And you know what? That's the hardest thing, coming off coming out of addiction, that people really don't understand. Like, sometimes you want to make all these really deep statements about it, but a lot of times it is like, life is boring and life is painful, and life is boring. And when you're trying to sober up, you're like, but this is boring. And that's the hardest thing, is that it is boring. And part of it is, like, learning to deal with it and doing things that aren't getting fucked up. That is one of the, like, basic things. And it's. It's painful listening to his. His pain, but also mixing with that, like, realization that life is just kind of lame sometimes. You know what I mean? Like, it's not always fun.
Ronnie
And he says that he wanted to die, and he based. And she was like, do you realize, like, what that would do to me? And she. And he's like. And he says, you're the only reason why I didn't kill myself. Which is just like. But also, I don't know, I feel like in some way that. That. That's like a maybe slightly reassuring. Like, I'm still, like, he's still in it for me, you know, a little bit. I'm still getting through to him on some level. And she's basically like, you know, I. I love you more than anything in this world, you know, like, you know, you're my friend, you're my son, you're my gift. God gave me to you. You're the only thing that could ever make me happy. And before you, I was never really happy. But then you came in and you were surreal, and you were just like everything I hope for in a person. It was like, really such a touching, like, mother to a son moment, Like a mother trying to reach out and save her son. But she's also like, I'm not going to judge you, but, like, I'm not going to support this. And, like, you're going to have to help yourself, you know, and I'm going to support you to help yourself, but I can only do so much. And, you know, God, I really hope that she is able to make an impact on him and, like. And move, like, you know, get him the help that he needs, because it's tragic. And she's really, I think, actually fortunate that she was Kind of able to catch him before it was too late, just in terms of anything. And, you know, it's really made me empathetic to so many parents that deal with this with their children. And it's just a. It's a terrible situation to be in.
Ben
Yep. Yeah. And it's so widespread, you know, it's really everywhere. It's crazy. And a lot of stuff, you know, we see on the streets and people, like, trying to figure out what is going on. And, like, you have to be so, like, you really can't talk about anything real. You know what I mean? Because it seems like it's blaming or it's shaming or like addiction is a disease. And it is. I'm not saying that it's not, but it's. It's bad. I mean, all you have to do is look around the cities to see. And I'm not saying it's not happening in small towns. I'm just saying it's so evident in big cities where you see tent cities everywhere. You see. You see basically a hellscape out there. It's not good. It's. It's really, really widespread. It's getting worse and worse. And I think it's pretty brave to put it on TV so boldly like this, because we don't. We've never seen this. We've never seen this. We've seen addiction, but we've never seen it talked about like this, where someone's just like, here's what I do. Like, listening what they do. I wanted to die. I wanted. You know, it's pretty crazy to see it put on TV like this. And it's pretty. It's. It's eye opening. I mean, I'm grateful that this shit's on tv, you know, and people stop being such fucking wusses about it and talk about it with your family and talk about it with your friends that you see this happening with. Because not talking about it doesn't help them. It's not helping them.
Ronnie
Yeah, I think.
Ben
I think, you know, they need to be talked to about it.
Ronnie
Yeah, I. I'm thinking, like, I think about Lori Waring and her son who recently passed, actually. But, like, she definitely dealt with it with him as well. But I don't feel like I've seen. I don't seem to remember on the Real Housewives, the scene where, like, the kid was really kind of this upfront with, like, this is what I'm doing. This is what I felt. This is what I almost did to myself. This is where I'M at right now. And it's like. It's just. It's. It was very, very raw. It was. It was pretty. It was pretty intense. I'm not sure Mary even was expecting the conversation to go in that direction, but I'm glad she did. I'm really glad that she. That she stepped in. And I'm also glad that she said, you know what? Like, you live a blessed life, and there are people who don't get to wake up, and you get to wake up, you know, and you have to remember that, you know, but, well, addiction.
Ben
Doesn'T give a fuck how much money you have. I would just say how blessed you are. You know, everyone. When you see a lot of addicts, when it's the most obvious, it's when you see it on the street or when it's trying to wash your windshield or something like that. And it's easy to think, oh, it's just for people that aren't like me. No, those. Those were people like you. A lot of the times they were people like you and that they're currently not. But, you know, it's easy to think it's over there, it's on that side. But it happens to everybody. I mean, probably all of us have this in our family in some way, in some strain. We probably all have it in our friend or our family group. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy to see. It's depressing to end a fucking thing like this. Not that it's about me, but like, it's an end a Housewives episode on the holiday with this depressing shit. But it is important, you know, and it was really well done. I really appreciated it and how they handled it.
Ronnie
And it was actually. It ended on an uplifting note because, you know, he's. He actually says, I just barely started being happy again. Which is sort of an optimistic note, you know.
Ben
Well, didn't that kind of allude to addiction? Being on drugs, though? I took that as him saying, like, I'm just recently happy again. Because he's been. He's been using so heavily. I thought he was. I took that as him saying. Saying, I'm feeling happy because I'm using. Because he was saying, when I'm not using, life is boring. But now I'm finally happy. It's almost because she keeps saying, are you going to stop this? Do you see this as a problem? And he doesn't say, yes, he just stares at her. And so when she says, you need to be happy, and he's saying, like, yeah, but I just started being happy again. It's like, scary. I didn't find that optimistic at all. I thought, oh, well. But then he's basically saying, saying, but this is me being happy.
Ronnie
That wasn't the line that. But what was mainly he says that they, you just started barely feeling happy again. And she's just like, listen, recognize it, own it, change it, because you can. And they hug. So, like, the optimistic part of it was that, like, they were able to start having the conversation and they were, they, they did sort of have a big breakthrough moment. And like, you know, she said that she was going to, you know, it was like a n. It ultimately wound up being a really nice mother son moment. You know, we don't how much of it's going to stick. How much of it is really going to help. But it leaves on a note of like, she finally was able to connect with her son who she's been disconnected from this entire time. And we just have to hope that that connection continues onwards.
Ben
Yeah, it's crazy.
Ronnie
So we'll see. It's crazy, but it's very, like, very powerful way to end. But you know, the episode, you know, it's about family and that's what Thanksgiving sometimes can be about. And so, you know, in its own sad way, it was appropriate for the holidays. And anyway, Salt Lake City was like, we just showed New York who can do the traumatic thing. Right. So anyway, I'm watching that one next.
Ben
So wish me luck over here. Cheese and crackers.
Ronnie
Yeah, have fun with that. So everyone, hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend and we will catch you next week with more shows. Bye, everyone.
Ben
Bye.
Ronnie
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Ronnie
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Watch What Crappens Episode #2638 Summary: RHOSLC Season 5 Episode 11 – "Pouts Honor" (Part Two)
In this detailed recap of "Real Housewives of Salt Lake City" Season 5, Episode 11 titled "Pouts Honor," hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve deep into the tumultuous dynamics among the cast members. This episode is packed with intense confrontations, cultural nuances, and poignant moments that highlight both the drama and the underlying personal struggles of the Housewives. Below is a comprehensive summary capturing all the key discussions, insights, and conclusions from Ben and Ronnie's analysis.
The hosts kick off the discussion by addressing the ongoing drama among the Housewives, setting the stage for a deep dive into the episode's most contentious moments.
Ben [03:23]:
"So then Britney is. She's like, oh, my God, guys, listen, I don't even care what he was doing when we were broken up, okay?"
A significant portion of the episode revolves around the Mormon practice of "soaking" and "docking." Ben and Ronnie unpack this cultural nuance, explaining its origins and implications within the show's context.
Ronnie [04:14]:
"So soaking is penetration without motion. But you can't move. And because if you do, whilst you move in the middle of a soak, it becomes sex, which is outlawed."
Ben [05:03]:
"I think ducking of where you put all the penises into one vagina and then that vagina plugs into one penis."
The hosts humorously speculate on the technicalities of these practices, blending informative explanations with their signature comedic flair.
The episode is rife with interpersonal tensions, particularly between Heather, Angie, and Meredith. Ben and Ronnie dissect each altercation, highlighting the instability and unpredictable nature of the relationships.
Ronnie [09:44]:
"Angie, who just went to this frickin Sunday night Bible study thing is like, so are you still practicing because you live such an illicit lifestyle?"
Ben [12:18]:
"Shut the fuck up, Melee."
These exchanges showcase the volatile mix of personal beliefs and public personas that fuel the Housewives' drama.
One of the most impactful moments in this episode is the portrayal of Robert's addiction struggles and Mary's heartfelt confrontation with him. Ben and Ronnie provide an empathetic analysis of this scene, emphasizing its raw emotional depth.
Ben [40:59]:
"That's the biggest part of drug addiction. And you know what? That's the hardest thing, coming off coming out of addiction, that people really don't understand."
Ronnie [42:01]:
"But I don't feel like I've seen. I don't seem to remember on the Real Housewives, the scene where, like, the kid was really kind of this upfront with, like, this is what I'm doing. This is what I felt. This is what I almost did to myself."
The hosts commend the show's boldness in tackling such a sensitive issue, discussing its authenticity and the broader implications for viewers.
Ben and Ronnie share their personal reflections on the episode's themes, particularly the ubiquity of addiction and the importance of open conversations around it.
Ronnie [44:35]:
"I'm thinking, like, I think about Lori Waring and her son who recently passed, actually. But, like, she definitely dealt with it with him as well."
Ben [45:55]:
"It's easy to think it's over there, it's on that side. But it happens to everybody. I mean, probably all of us have this in our family in some way, in some strain."
They emphasize the necessity of addressing addiction without stigma, advocating for more candid discussions in both media and personal spheres.
Wrapping up the recap, Ben and Ronnie ponder the potential future developments for the cast members, especially in light of the emotional revelations shared in the episode.
Ben [49:20]:
"So we'll see. It's crazy, but it's very, like, very powerful way to end."
Ronnie [49:45]:
"Salt Lake City was like, we just showed New York who can do the traumatic thing."
They express anticipation for upcoming episodes, particularly the unfolding of relationships and personal growth among the Housewives.
Ben [03:23]:
"So then Britney is. She's like, oh, my God, guys, listen, I don't even care what he was doing when we were broken up, okay?"
Ronnie [04:14]:
"So soaking is penetration without motion. But you can't move. And because if you do, whilst you move in the middle of a soak, it becomes sex, which is outlawed."
Ben [05:03]:
"I think ducking of where you put all the penises into one vagina and then that vagina plugs into one penis."
Ronnie [09:44]:
"Angie, who just went to this frickin Sunday night Bible study thing is like, so are you still practicing because you live such an illicit lifestyle?"
Ben [40:59]:
"That's the biggest part of drug addiction. And you know what? That's the hardest thing, coming off coming out of addiction, that people really don't understand."
Ronnie [42:01]:
"But I don't feel like I've seen. I don't seem to remember on the Real Housewives, the scene where, like, this is what I almost did to myself."
Ben [45:55]:
"It's easy to think it's over there, it's on that side. But it happens to everybody. I mean, probably all of us have this in our family in some way, in some strain."
Conclusion
In this episode of Watch What Crappens, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam provide an insightful and engaging analysis of RHOSLC Season 5 Episode 11. From unpacking cultural practices like soaking and docking to addressing serious issues like addiction, the hosts balance humor with heartfelt commentary, making this recap both informative and entertaining. Their discussion not only highlights the dramatic events of the episode but also offers a deeper understanding of the personal struggles faced by the Housewives, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.