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Ben Mandelker
Who cares what happens when there's so much happens?
Ronnie Karam
Watch what crap.
Ben Mandelker
Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?
Ronnie Karam
Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappins, a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Yield Bravs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi. What you doing, Ben?
Ben Mandelker
Oh, I'm just hanging out, talking with you. What's going on with you?
Ronnie Karam
If Ben seems pastier than normal, it's because he's in the glorious London and he's just trying to fit in.
Ben Mandelker
I know. I. I put. I'm in a currently very pasty room. And yes, I'm in London right now, which is. I. I did not think I would be back in London so quickly after our little jaunt here over the summer. But I am here this entire week, which is very fun. And the good people at William Morris Endeavor have lent me a conference room that I can record in. So very excited to be here in.
Ronnie Karam
The full on mothership conf. Well, I guess it's not the mothership, it's the anti ship, because the mothership would be in New York for us. But you're in the anti ship. The. The distance over the pond. Ante.
Ben Mandelker
The queen mothership, if you will. But yeah, I. I ate. I ate a sausage roll today, Ronnie. That was so buttery. I mean, I was. It was wild. I, I like, it was like. I. I dabbled in some British food today and I learned my lesson that it's very dangerous to do that is some buttery ass. But it was so, so good.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, it's a food group over there. Butter.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, fruits. It really is butters.
Ronnie Karam
Actually. I don't know that I saw that many fruits. Butters, breads. Love it.
Ben Mandelker
Jellies, fats.
Ronnie Karam
Jellies. Yes. Okay, everybody. Well, welcome to the show. Today is Real Housewives of Potomac day. But before we get going, we've just announced a tour dates. We're so excited. Our mounting hysteria tour for 2025 starts next month. Like really soon. We wanted to get these up for Christmas present buying. So go do it. Go forth and buy. You can also gift Patreon memberships now. We've simplified Patreon. That's a lot easier now go check that out. But we hope to see you. You can find all of our dates@watchwhatcrapens.com and we'll probably go over a full list of them on one of our other recaps this week. But there's a presale going on right now for Patreon members and the full sale is like tomorrow, right, Ben?
Ben Mandelker
The pre sale is tomorrow, December 3rd, and then the public on sale is on December 4th. If you want to get in on the pre sale, there is a code on our Patreon. It's for our Patreon supporters. They get access to our pre show codes. They get first, first access to all the tickets to all the shows. The links will be up tomorrow for for these places for the pre show and again those will all be on the website. Also, I made an error on our poster. I was so excited, made this whole poster and then I put down for some reason that our Dallas show is on January 25. It is not happening until May. My apologies. Sorry for that. I have adjusted it and a new poster will be going out. But of course, once something goes up on Instagram, it's there like permanently. So apologies if you see that. But we're really excited. And importantly, an important date to flag for people is February 1st. That is when the Golden Crappies are back and we are really looking forward to that. That's going to be back in New York City this year and it's going to be a great show. And of course that means we now have to get into Golden Crappies mode. Start thinking about nominations and favorite moments, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So there will be ballots open for that in the new year.
Ronnie Karam
Yes. So and then obviously crappy hours tonight at a special time at 6pm Eastern, 3pm Pacific due to Ben's Cheeriones. Okay.
Ben Mandelker
Yes. Thank you for accommodating me, everyone.
Ronnie Karam
Love it. Listen, I love an early day. I'm an old. I'm an old now. Also, another announcement. Go see Wicked. I loved it. It was amazing. Okay, so let's get on with Real Housewives of Potomac Meditation Nation. I don't know, you know, look, I've been holding space for Wicked because you know that whole meme about people on the Internet have been holding space for the lyrics of Defying Gravity and then Elphaba being like, I hadn't heard it. I hadn't heard that. And then Ariana, like massaging her very long fingernailed finger has been going all over. I've been holding space for the lyrics of Ashley Darby's I saw Dustin Cohn on Twitter, said, I'm holding space for Ashley Darby's lyrics, put my lows in my carry on. So thank you, Dustin, because I've now been carrying. I've been now holding space for those lyrics as well. I can't get that out of my head. I put my lows in my carry on. Love you, Ashley Darby.
Ben Mandelker
Fucking nutcase. That's good. I like that. I hope she's not on Spirit Airlines, because then she'll have to actually pay money for her lows. And who wants to do that?
Ronnie Karam
So here we go. We return to Wendy's second birthday party, and the ladies are discussing Mia's children's fathers. Don't. Dun, dun, dun, dun. And Mia's like, well, I have been married before. And Kay is like, yeah. And Stacy's like, oh, you have? I'm so sorry. I just didn't know.
Ben Mandelker
And then we see flashbacks of Mia in a previous season saying, I have three amazing children. Two of them are by my current husband, and my oldest is from a previous marriage. So I had totally forgotten that she actually does have fathers. And so that's also kind of funny. Bravo is so dirty to its cast members because for a whole week, we're like, look at Mia calling. Like, now she's saying that Ink is a father. And, oh, my God, this is scandalous. Like, she can't get it together. And it's like, oh, yeah, there is another father that we actually knew about all this time, right?
Ronnie Karam
But Mia was saying that. Mia was saying, ink is a father. I mean, she literally said, I think Ink is the father of our children. I think she was saying that. But now that they're all mortified, she's like, oh, but I do have another father, too. She's just got that excuse to whip out whenever she needs it. But I think she was saying, well, the fathers of my children should get along, meaning Ink and Gordon, don't you?
Ben Mandelker
I mean, I think that is what she was saying. But we've, like, this is one of the few times where she actually had a logical answer, you know, where I thought she was going to just say some. I thought we were going to come back and she was going to say, well, we don't know who the father is. So I just call both of them the father. I thought it would be like a typical Mia thing, and I'm just, you know, I just feel like, bravo, Bravo. Kind of like it was one of those things where you come back after a week and it's like, oh, oh, there's an. A very, like, normal explanation for this cliffhanger.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And they're like, well, he wasn't there. Just. I was like, but he wasn't there. Why are you talking about him? It's like, well, he does also hang out with Gordon and Ink, the other father of my. And Karen's like, well, I don't know why we're attacking Mia right now. Why are we doing this? I'm the one who attacks me. Because I love that Karen kind of starts it, and then she's like, why? Why are we attacking Mia?
Ben Mandelker
And Stacy's like, nobody's attacking her. Is anyone attacking her? I can't believe someone would be attacking Mia right now.
Ronnie Karam
So then we see the. Because Wendy's asking what's going on because she's joined. And they were seeing this video that Mia posted on Social of Ink, Gordon, and the whole family hanging by the pool. And Karen's like, well, what's the problem? Is it okay for them to have a picture together? Is it? Is it okay? Is that against the law? And Jack. Jacqueline's like, can I speak? I was there. Oh, God. Jacqueline, girl, no one cares. Jacqueline cares.
Ben Mandelker
Number one sidekick speaking here. I don't want to be a sidekick, but if I were, I'm number one. First in line anyway. Thank you. So Gordon is. He's okay with it for, like, five minutes with ink, and then, like, the other 20 minutes, he's, like, miserable. So saying he doesn't want. He doesn't want Ink to be there. Like, he actually, like, wants Ink to be gone. So when he's like, oh, really?
Ronnie Karam
When you get dumped by your wife and then she keeps bringing her boyfriend around, and you don't want to hang out with him. So weird. After telling you that he probably fathered one of your children and she's been fucking him the whole time. That is so weird that you wouldn't want to hang out. You must. You should probably get him in a straitjacket immediately.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Although, to be fair, Gordon did voluntarily move into the same building with Mia and Ink, so some of this is on him.
Ronnie Karam
Well, he's got to take care of the kids, too. They're his kids.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Well, why.
Ronnie Karam
Why would you have to drive from across town just because your ex wife's an asshole?
Ben Mandelker
Well, you know, I'm just saying. So Wendy is like, well, what Jacqueline is basically saying is, you know, like, for lack of a better word, you're putting up a facade. And so Giselle's like, yes. When we were all talking at gna. Yeah, you said that ink in front of the kids and ink in front of Gordon needs to fall back a little bit.
Ronnie Karam
I mean, it's like, well, just because you guys said that doesn't mean I'm gonna do it. In my household, you can make recommendations and give your opinions, but at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And that's all you can say for the life of bipolar. And I call the mania shots. I call mania shots in this house.
Ben Mandelker
I love Mia saying you can make recommendations. Like, this is not a draft of a document that you guys are like. Like. She's like, hi, I have given this document about Gordon Inc. Up for review. Would anyone like to redline it before we. And mark it up before I submit it to the further process? I mean, it's like you sat everyone down, was like, guys, I have to talk to you about it. And now you're like, oh, well, thanks for your input, but I don't really need it. Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
Well, yeah. And she started this whole thing with her whole, guys, Gordon's in mania. I can't be around Gordon. We're all terrified. And then it's like, five minutes later, shots by the pool, you know, with the kids, with Gordon.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
So Mia's getting pissed off that Giselle's judging her at a birthday celebration. At the 18th birthday celebration of the week. How dare she? This is sacred. This is Wendy's birthday. It only goes. Goes on for six months.
Ben Mandelker
I know. And so she's like. She's like, I just think it's really interesting that we're at a birthday celebration. And of course, Giselle has to make it about critiquing and nitpicking. I'm like, you literally did that at Karen's birth, at Wendy's birthday weekend, and also, like, every single one of Karen's birthdays. You also criticize a nitpick. But now all of a sudden, Giselle is the one who's acting out of pocket.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And Kieran is like, well, I think basically right now, Mia was really trying to be glue that holds things together. And, like, you know, you can be glue, but then also, you know, make it work, but then have pieces of happiness so we know it's not feasible. What is she talking about over there? And when it's like, hey, waities, I'm getting a citation from the governor of Maryland. And everyone's like, what? A citation? Isn't that a ticket? I thought the citation. Get it.
Ben Mandelker
With Karen, we're not allowed to say the C word around Karen. No, I don't like four letter words. No, I mean citation. Oh, how could you say so those.
Ronnie Karam
Cut fantasy citations, Karen.
Ben Mandelker
So, yeah, the governor is going to give Wendy as some sort of, like, honorary something. Another for turning 40 in Maryland, which is very exciting.
Ronnie Karam
That's amazing. In a town with so many laws being made that they're like, you know What? Wendy's turning 40, guys. Let's pass something immediately.
Ben Mandelker
Have you ever seen the mayor? I mean, not the mayor. I'm speaking like, Stacy, have you seen the governor of Maryland? He's actually like. He's kind of hot. I'm like, are you allowed. Are there. Are you allowed to be kind of hot and. And a governor at the same time? I don't think so.
Ronnie Karam
I'm gonna look him up right now. Let me see.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
Wes Moore, Democratic Party since 2023. Oh, he's a noob. Let's check him out. It's pretty cute. Yeah, he's pretty cute. I'll tell you what else. He is extremely busy because his ass didn't show up. I mean, he's new how many things are on his list. He's like, you know what? Send someone else to give the citation. That would be great. I'm very busy. Could you please send them on a boat that looks like a borscht?
Ben Mandelker
I know he was driving the boat. He's like, I did my partner. So, yeah, so. So anyway, so Giselle is like, wow, she's getting a proclamation. So then Jacqueline's like. Jacqueline's like, mia, are you okay? She's like, no, like, fuck you. Like, okay, because you never have my back. And I'm shocked that this did not turn into a feud that was gonna last for five episodes because they were friendly by the end of the episode. But you know what? The moment that Jacqueline stands up to Mia, it's always like a shitstorm.
Ronnie Karam
And she had her back. I mean, what's a woman supposed to do, you know? So Karen's like, oh, can I have the citations to myself for now? Just. Can I have something just funny? Like you're even trying to upstage my citation. I still have the most citations. I still have the most. So now we go to Wendy's citation ceremony at the party, and April Ryan, senior White House correspondent, which is pretty good. That's pretty good to get even if they didn't send the governor. And so she's like, the mayor. The governor couldn't be here. But we're all friends of the governor, so that counts. So in Recognition of your life's extraordinary journey. And yes, I do include the one year of the candle. And yes, I do include the YouTube channel.
Ben Mandelker
And yes, I do include the concept of having a restaurant with Peter Thomas.
Ronnie Karam
Yes, I do include the 97 birthdays that you've had this year. That's quite a feat. It's quite a feat.
Ben Mandelker
So then Wendy, then we see also the sisters, Eddie's sisters are sitting at a table. So Wendy talks about, like, how, you know, Eddie and his family, they've all been working to be better with each other, but they haven't all been together for 13 years. So this is like Wendy's just saying she just wants peace. She just wants peace. So this is like what she's reflecting on as she receives this citation. Slash, slash proclamation from the governor of Maryland.
Ronnie Karam
So then Ashley and Stacy, the speech is going on. You know, I think they're at like the happy and ness portion of the congratulations of the citation, like, congratulations on your beautiful breasts. And Ashley and Stacy are just standing up kind of in the middle of the party, talking at full voice about how they're both divorcing idiots. I'm like, well, I guess we have our mediations this week. Yeah, what about your mediation? I can't wait. I'm really excited to see what had happened. And people are trying to. No one's even really shushing them, but the people are on microphone and these two aren't. Aren't calming down at all, you know?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And Ashley is actually. You know, it's actually kind of funny because, like, Ashley knows that if she talks too much more during this presentation, she's gonna get clocked by Wendy. So she basically tells Stacy to shut up. She's like, I just. I just want to hear this speech real, real quickly. Can you just be quiet for a second? Stacy's like, oh, I'm so sorry. Apologies. Didn't realize we were on air.
Ronnie Karam
So Stacy's like, well, I expect my husband to be fair. I mean, he's very successful. He comes from a very respected family in Germany. I don't. I need you to go further. What are they respected for? What Hans is arguing, what they. What have they.
Ben Mandelker
And yeah, I'm. I'm not sure any of that is going to, like, matter in divorce, to be honest.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, well, respected families in every country have nasty divorces.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, have you. Have you seen the Royal Family when they have a divorce? It didn't go so well.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Am I allowed to say that here? So then I know, I'm like, I feel like I just broke out.
Ronnie Karam
I ain't there. I say whatever I want. They can't get me.
Ben Mandelker
So they're passing out cake and everything. And Ashes basically goes up to Giselle and is like, oh, my God. Stacy is really clueless. Giselle's like, what did she say? Yeah, well, she's going into mediation on Monday. And like, both of you have given me, like, so much great advice and basically, she's basically saying, like, go, go.
Ronnie Karam
Lecture her because I don't have the. I don't have the gravitas to do it and I'm exhausted. You do it. And so because, you know, Giselle's doing this whole, like, I'm nice this season, and now she's like, oh, hi, we're still doing a show. Could you go make her feel uncomfortable? Thanks. That would be great. She's already pissed at me, so. Or she's already been pissed at me once this season. And then Wendy breaks in. You know how most people, like, it's your birthday and you're like, oh, stop. Everybody, like when they come out with a cake. Oh, God. We don't have to sing, guys. Come on. You don't all have to sing. Not Wendy. She's like, sing it again, Sam. To receive a governor citation from the governor of Maryland to be recognized and seen for the work that you've done. This is major. Well, you know, congratulations. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap ins commercial.
Ben Mandelker
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Ben Mandelker
Credit Karma Simplifying your financial choices. And then we see Stacy sitting with tj. TJ TJ looks like he's still pissed at her because she's been, you know, doing her job and talking to her other castmates and leaving him behind. TJ says, max, he is so he's scowling, and she's trying to make conversation, and she's like, so that's the mayor's wife at the end of the table? The mayor of Maryland? Yeah, it's very young, young, progressive black man. Sorry, I don't know his name. And he's just, like, nodding. And I was gonna make fun of the fact that she called the governor of Maryland the mayor of Maryland, except for the fact that I almost said mayor of Maryland about 10 times in this recap already. So I get it now.
Ronnie Karam
So Ashley is like, well, Giselle, I think she needs real people to talk to. Real people with hideous taste. Go do it. And so Karen's like, let's do it. We're going inside to talk with Stacy. You are summoned with your one sad little. Have you ever had a citation? Probably not. I do. I have many of them. More than Wendy. All right, come in. So Giselle's like, now, listen. One thing I knew in my marriage was where the money was, where the penis was. Had no idea. But the money. I knew it was where the accounts were. So getting divorced, I wasn't going blind. Because men try to make sure you have nothing. Stacy, girl, you in danger. So Ashley tries to open it up, like, Stacy, to be transparent. I had this conversation with you about two minutes ago, and I've already told everybody to party, so let's do this.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So Stacy's like, well, I was just saying that I'm going into mediation on Monday, and I'm choosing to be optimistic. I'm sorry to interrupt. Is that TJ lurking behind a palm frond nearby? Yes. He just really wants to be on the show. So I told him we could join in on the conversation as long as he is discreet.
Ronnie Karam
About it is TJ yelling at the palm frond for not being friendly enough to it during this party. Yeah, he doesn't like being ignored even by palm fronds.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, get on with it, Stacy. Well, when my soon to be ex husband and I got married almost 20 years ago, we said we will never be the type of people that fight over money and assets. And so that's how I'm moving forward on Monday. Just, you know, really in a very positive, naive, misguided space.
Ronnie Karam
And Giselle's like, well, everyone says that. I mean, you don't plan on getting divorced, do you? And she's like, well, I just feel like I know the person that I married. I know him. He's from a well respected German family. They probably make pianos or Wurlitzers or candles. What are other things German people make? I haven't really met many of them, but I've heard great things. Small dolls, timepieces.
Ben Mandelker
Beer. Beer mugs, sausage. Sausage buns, Little cheese.
Ronnie Karam
Little plates have their own cheese. Or is that only Swiss people? Seems a little unfair.
Ben Mandelker
Music boxes that play Edelweiss.
Ronnie Karam
The Sound of Music was a good film.
Ben Mandelker
Shepherds of the German variety. You.
Ronnie Karam
BMWs. So Stacy's like, I just know the person. She finally got it.
Ben Mandelker
Thank you for saving us. Because someone was probably listening and being like, these two idiots clearly can't think of anything and they're trying to turn into a joke to hide from the fact that they don't know what German Germany manufacturers.
Ronnie Karam
Wait a minute, BMW. I'll marry him all over again. So Giselle's like, well, so Stacy's like, listen, I know the person I married. And Giselle's like, yeah, but you don't know him this way. Meaning you know the person you met, married, you don't know the person you're divorcing. Those are two different people. Which is why I always say, never marry someone you. You can't see yourself getting divorced from. It's very important to know what they're going to be like when they divorce you. Like, if people get super mad and lose their temper and like turn into complete monsters, that's what they're going to be like when they divorce you. It's. They're not going to spare you that. You know what I mean?
Ben Mandelker
No. So Karen's like, well, you said yourself that you all grew apart. And she's like, tremendously well. So then you do not know him. I was like, ooh, Karen, that's exactly correct. You can't say you can't say that someone grew apart. You grew apart from someone. And then you also claim that you know them. You don't, obviously.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So Karen's like, but you grew apart. She goes, tremendously. So then TJ is talking to Ray, and he's like, wow, well, guess what I found out. The new hosts are making $56,000 bonuses, which is kind of like a peek into the window of why he's dating this chick. He's just waiting for his piece of that 56k.
Ben Mandelker
Yep. He wants it. So then Karen. And Karen's like, listen, don't taunt your new love in front of him because you know too much. That will make it. That will make him fight. So you have to. You have to put the brakes on all that. And Karen's basically like, you know, I think you should close one chapter before you open the other. Seeing your boyfriend while she's still a married man. Take my advice. Hide.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Which I think also is fairly true. I mean, like. I mean, that's probably also why she keeps on insisting that TJ is merely just her very good friend.
Ronnie Karam
Yes, I think so. Yeah. Because you can't. You're still technically married, you know, so that's why they're hiding the. The people from each other now. She is taking them all over the television. So I don't know how wise that is. I guess she's hoping that they close this deal before any of this heirs. I don't know.
Ben Mandelker
Wait, what about. Here's a conspiracy theory. Tell me if you think this has any merit, because I'm sort of coming up with it on the spot. What if, you know, we think that TJ's in it for the money and he knows that she has a lot of money coming her way, assuming that the divorce goes properly. So if she, however, is, like, sleeping with someone else, she may risk, like, she may not get all the money that she's supposed to get. So maybe this whole thing about, like, they don't have sex or anything, is that like some, like, high level misdirection? Is that like a. A way to sort of. That way she can say in divorce proceedings, oh, I'm. I'm not even sleeping with anyone else. And that way you get all the money.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, but really doesn't seem very sexual. I mean, I'm getting zero vibes off of him.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I think it's. I think it's asexual.
Ronnie Karam
What?
Ben Mandelker
I think it's, as they say it, I think he's just very religious and not having sex.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Because she's like, I want to date and have sex, but he won't. So I don't think she's worried about that part of the divorce. But I don't know. Who knows?
Ben Mandelker
It's a fun thing to think about.
Ronnie Karam
So she's like, well, my experience with this divorce is just different than Ashley's. I mean, Ashley's husband's looks like, I don't know, sad old dog ready to be put down. The one watery eye that kind of shakes. I really know if he's looking at you. My husband doesn't look at me like that yet. So I think we're safe.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I'm welcoming this advice, and it's making me think about things, but they don't know my situation. I want to see which situation goes to our first, Stacy's or Kyle Richards. Because they are both saying the same thing this week on Bravo. Like, no, our marriage is different. It's going to be a very docile and friendly negotiation. I'm. I'm curious. I mean, we know it can happen for sure, but there's just something like the bravado that these two have that, like, things are not. The shit's not going to go down. I don't know. I just don't believe it in most cases.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, he's thirsty. And I think she feels like she needs a man to shoot with on the show. Maybe it's as simple as that, you know, because she some kind of plays dumb. I don't think she's as dumb as she plays because she didn't come. She didn't really start this character until much later in the season. Right. She started when she started. She wasn't like this kind of, like, what? She didn't have that kind of, like, innocence about her that she seems to have now. I don't think. I think it didn't come until three or four weeks into the show that she was like, oh, this is a fun. This is a fun character. But I don't know. I can't tell. I think she's kind of playing it up. So anyway, she takes the advice. She doesn't get defensive that they're giving her advice, which I feel like any other housewife would, like, stay out of my business. But she didn't at all. And so Ashley's like, well, let's do some shots for me. Cause it's still my birthday, bitches. So then Wendy is with Eddie and his family, and she's like, thank you guys so much for coming to see me get my citations. This Was amazing. I've been citationed. This was a huge moment for you to be involved in, and I not only want to say thank you for being here. I want to say you're welcome. You're welcome for the opportunity to be here to see my citations. Did any of you write anything down or take any pictures? Okay, I will send you a full transcript soon.
Ben Mandelker
What an honor for you to witness the first person to ever turn 40 in the state of Maryland. I'm so glad that this moment was immortalized by someone sent by the governor. You're welcome, everyone. I'm glad this brought the family together.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, they're like, whatever.
Ben Mandelker
So basically, it's a nice scene.
Ronnie Karam
This was super fun. We didn't get much out of this, right?
Ben Mandelker
No, but it was nice because basically Eddie's siblings were there, and they were hugging. With Wendy, it seems like on the sibling level, you know, a lot of the beef has been squashed, or at least people are moving forward. And the next challenge is really going to be the parents. Because I think. I mean, we all know this is clearly like a mom versus mom battle, and the kids had to take sides. So it sounds like the kids are finally, like, you know what? We don't have to take sides over this anymore. Like, let's let our baddie moms deal with it on their own terms. But, like, we can still be friends.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Yeah. And it sucks when you have to, you know, have the. The parents fight trickles down to the kids. That sucks. Yeah, that happened in my family, and it's not great. So Wendy's. You know, Wendy's like, I just wanted my kids to know their aunties, and so it's cute. They all cry and hug and stuff. I mean, I say we didn't get much out of this because I'm a shallow bitch, and I just want people to fight and be like, you're cursed. I don't want lightning and curses and stuff. But that's not what it is. Instead, it's like a nice family sc, which is great.
Ben Mandelker
But, you know, Ronnie, you know what, Ronnie? Last time. Last time you got what. What you asked for, you were then stuck with Melissa Gorgo for a decade. So be careful. Be careful what you wish for.
Ronnie Karam
But that did make that show good.
Ben Mandelker
It really did. It did.
Ronnie Karam
What would we have had without Melissa Gorgo?
Ben Mandelker
I mean, season three was epic.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, she makes me crazy. But, hey, you know, credit where credit is due. You need a cog in the cog in the wheel. No, not a cognitive. You need a stick in the wheel. You need to stick a stick in the wheel. Yeah. No one wants to hear a Housewives car running smoothly. It's boring. Okay. Speaking of, let's get back to this happy family scene so they make up. Okay. So then Giselle and Grace have a scene which nobody needs. I'm sorry. I love Grace. I think she's great. But this is another scene where Giselle's like, you went to college. It's so sad. Your sisters went to college. What do you think about me now that I'm a mom who has girls in college? She's like, I'm so bored. Grace is like, please stop bringing me on tv. I'm literally exhausted.
Ben Mandelker
This was basically a variation on the classic my daughters are going to college scene. This is now a my daughter has been to college and is back from college. And then they're all going back to college, just in different grades. So that's an exciting twist.
Ronnie Karam
And she talks about her dad passing and how sad that was, which obviously it was. And then she's like, well, you need to laugh yourself.
Ben Mandelker
I'm not laughing at the dad dying. Or just something about the way you said it was. It just made me laugh.
Ronnie Karam
And it was. It was sad. You know, I'm not gonna about that. But then she's like, you know, I need to keep myself busy because I don't get to go back to school every couple of months and destroy my mother. I'm going to take a cooking class. Ass. And Grace is like, you need to. Because. Wow.
Ben Mandelker
Or a fashion plus. So, yeah, it's a nice scene. Happy to see that Grace is doing well in her fresh after her freshman year of college, blah, blah, blah. This. This whole episode, by the way, is very much like, like about family, family ties, parents, children, yada, yada, yada. And the next stop on the family express is over at Ashley's house, where Dylan and Dean are once again just sitting around on that kitchen island. I have. I have gone from being annoyed that those kids are crawling all over the kitchen island to just. I've just accepted it. That that's just like, where they play. And that's just. That's just. That's that's what it is. That's their playroom is the kitchen island. It's actually not a. That is not a space for cooking. It is a place for little children to just roll around and move trucks around.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, that's what. You know, kids, you can't worry too much about it. You can't really overthink it. You Know what I mean?
Ben Mandelker
A fork.
Ronnie Karam
Pick up a fork and it's coming towards their eye. Just be like, I hope there's an angel watching that kid, because I'm busy. And listen, the only way that kids learn to not put forks in their eye is to gather own eye out with a fork on accident. So you know what? God be with you.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, that's their. That's their place. And honestly, they do seem like they are genuinely two very happy little boys. Like, they are so happy. Like they are just, like, having the best time. And I was thinking about it that, you know, earlier today I was eating. Eating a sandwich outside and a bird was hopping around on the table right in front of me, which I did not appreciate. To me, that's like the next worst thing to like. It's probably worse. It's. It's worse than a child on a kitchen island. But I was also like, this is what the bird does. Like, the bird is here. The bird knows if there's gonna be crumbs that are gonna fall. That's why the bird is on the table. This. The bird's just waiting. I didn't like how close it was to me, but the truth was this is just the pattern of it, and I can't fight it. And so whether it's a bird hopping around, shitting a little bit on a table in front of me while it waits for my crumbs, or a child playing around on a kitchen island, sometimes you just have to accept that certain things have their own spaces.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, you just gotta let life happen, babe. Like, what are you gonna do? Nothing.
Ben Mandelker
Of course, I did shoo the bird away. I was like. I was like, I accept that this is your space, but you're not gonna hold space for me.
Ronnie Karam
You have to move. And guess what else? The bird has to also accept life. You know, life happens. Like people coming and shooing you away. That's also part.
Ben Mandelker
And you know what? The bird. Wait one. I let the bird just, like, I shoot it away. I was like, just wait your turn. And then when I got up to leave, the bird and all of its friends descended on, like, the three crumbs that I left. And they had a field day. So you know what?
Ronnie Karam
Nature got rid of the alpha. You got rid of the alpha. The alpha was like, these are mine. I'm getting these. And you're like, no, you're not. Get away. And then you let the poor other birds who never get a shot get some. You know, though, you did a good thing. You did a good Thing.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, yeah. They're like, let's see how long Jocelyn can stand there in front of the human before it gets scared. And she gets scared and flies away. And she didn't last long.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, worse. Fucking Jocelyn. So Ashley is with the boys on the countertops, and she's like, hey, buds, what country are we studying at? Camp? And Dean's like, we're at Scott. Where is Scotland? Next to it is Wales. What do you think about that? Wah, wah, wah, wah. And she's like, where's whales located? And Dylan's like, it's in French toast. What do you think of it? Wales is next to French toast. It's inside of it.
Ben Mandelker
Well, they're not going to do very well on this exam, but that's okay. We are going to accept that. They are also two years old and should not be expected to know where Wales is. But I do love that Wales is in French toast.
Ronnie Karam
And they're beating Ashley on the butt with the balloon, which I think is funny. They're like, father, like son. You've got a nice big candy and it needs a little attention. Wa.
Ben Mandelker
Can'T spell wheels without where to start at all.
Ronnie Karam
So she's like, I'm going to mediation with Michael, and my head is just swarming. There's so many things. But I'll tell you where I'm putting my lows in my carry on. So then the boys are hitting her with a balloon, and she's like, have kids?
Ben Mandelker
They said, oh, no, I have the children seven days a week, and then Michael will have them for a weekend. And the worst possible scenario for me is that when my divorce is finalized, that I will have to go weeks without seeing my children. Literally. Even as I say it, my heart starts to beat really fast. Hold on. Just cramming it into my carry on. Does it really fit? Yes, it does.
Ronnie Karam
Girl, you're like a commercial for divorce. I won't get to see my kids weeks at a time. Sign me up. Can I divorce you so I don't have to see your kids for weeks at a time? I'm kidding. They're actually cute kids.
Ben Mandelker
They are cute kids, but think about all the dinner parties you could have with that kitchen island opened up.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, true, but people are going to be like, wait a minute. Do I have a booger on this toast? Where did this come from? Sorry. Did you know that French.
Ben Mandelker
Did you Geography project. By the way, they said that French toast was near South America, too. I just want to say I'm not shaming the kids for Not.
Ronnie Karam
Have you guys heard that Wales is.
Ben Mandelker
Inside French toast in South America?
Ronnie Karam
I can't even. I shouldn't even be making fun of that because I would be no better. Let's face it.
Ben Mandelker
Hey, what do they manufacture in French toasts?
Ronnie Karam
BMWs. So Ashley's driving and she's like, I got this. The universe is always working for me. Always. Yeah, fuck off, Evil Knievel.
Ben Mandelker
Is the universe working for you if you wind up with Michael Darby?
Ronnie Karam
I don't know. Now you have two tiny little Michael Darby's. They've got three of them.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, that's the. Yeah, I mean, the upside is you've got your kids. The down. The downside is you had to sleep with Michael Darby a few times.
Ronnie Karam
Hey, listen, she's going to get a lot of money. So. Yeah, I mean, I think she's on track.
Ben Mandelker
I think the universe is sort of like. It's not that the universe is on her side. It's like the universe is just kind of fucking with her a little bit. Like the universe is giving her the metaphorical crumb and she is the bird on the table. Sometimes she gets the crumbs and sometimes she gets waved off.
Ronnie Karam
I think the universe is always working for us, you know, it's just not all the time. It's like the universe is working for you, but it's not going to change people cutting you off in traffic. Which I think we learned right now in this scene. And so then Ashley is still talking to herself and stuff. And she's like, oh, my God, can we just please avoid Michael seeing me here, please? And so she kind of hides from him. I don't know how, but she's like doing that thing where she's tucking her head as if she's not driving a huge SUV through the parking lot. And she's like, my dignity is intact. Let's go. So she goes in for her superhero mediation moment.
Ben Mandelker
Did she forget about her singing last week? So I'm wondering about that dignity intact comment a little bit. Is the dignity intact?
Ronnie Karam
My dignity's on key and it's ready to sing. No, no, no, ma'am.
Ben Mandelker
We're going to need you to steal your dignity in a personal item under the seat. Thank you.
Ronnie Karam
So next we get a Kiarna scene, which is rare and it's fun because she's. This is a scene at Open Arms, the social working business. I'm not really sure what this is. It's a social working.
Ben Mandelker
It's a nonprofit. She has a med spa, but Greg has this non Profit it. And there's somehow even fewer. Fewer things on the wall than in this room that I'm in currently right now. It was just like. I was like, is this their office? Did they just move in here today? So she's bringing everyone lunch and. And basically she tells us that Greg has had this for 10 years. And it's. He's like the boss.
Ronnie Karam
He was like a clinical social worker. And then once he started the company, his families all came on board, and, you know, it just worked. And it's funny because Greg thinks he's my boss, but I don't really take it that serious. I mean, it's cute. No, he's literally your boss. And do you even work there? Because she's giving off wife who shows up to pretend to work, like Mia with the pamphlets at the crack the back or whatever. She's giving that energy very heavily, and the family hates her guts. She's like, hi, everybody. Do you miss me? And they're like, mm. She goes, what's going on today? What's on the agenda? And she just, like, sits down and the lady's like, well, I guess we have to do book bags. And she's like. She just looks confused. Like, why are we doing that? I thought we were giving Botox to kindergarteners. It's never too late. It's never too early to start.
Ben Mandelker
She kind of reminds me of Gail from Secrets and Wives. Do you remember Gail?
Ronnie Karam
That's what I was thinking of, too. The dentist wife, right?
Ben Mandelker
No, I think she was a. No plastic surgeon's wife. And she showed up and was, like, forcing everyone to wear blazers. Yeah, that was her storyline. Yes.
Ronnie Karam
I was thinking of that because we had the conversation that I totally get the wife, like, coming in and being like, I'm the boss, too, even when she's totally not. Because my mom did that growing up in my dad's company. She was like, I want to be vice president. He's like, okay, honey. And then she just shows up and she's like, hello, I'm vice president. Everybody has to listen to me. And guess what we're doing? We're putting drapes up. All right, let's have a meeting about it. They were like, oh, God. She was like a terrorist for a week and a half, and then she just disappeared. She was like, this is hard.
Ben Mandelker
Commercials.
Ronnie Karam
Here comes one right now.
Ben Mandelker
Hey, prime members, have you heard? You can listen to your favorite podcasts ad free.
Ronnie Karam
Good news.
Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
So she's like, let me be free.
Ben Mandelker
That's, you know.
Ronnie Karam
But Greg is being a dick. He's, like, trying to be a dick in front of his family and being like, I love to boss you around. And she's like, ugh. So then he brings her into the office and he's like, so I'm looking at these little hip hop snippets or whatever. And she's like, what's up? So you're saying I don't act right? And he's like, well, at times, you know, you can get off the hinge a little bit. A little bit. It.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And she's like, well, I'm always gonna be off the edge, just so you know. And even if we get married, I'm gonna be on the edge. So then Greg is like, well, I know. You should work on that, you know. So she's basically like, well, you don't think I'm putting in the work. I actually kept it really cute. You'd be proud of me. So I don't know if I told you this or not, but my lawyer. So basically she's saying that, like, the lawsuit's going well. It's not a. It's honestly not a very compelling scene. The lawsuit's going well, and she's doing a personal injury claim. And, you know, the big issue that Kierna had with Greg is that it sounds like Greg didn't want her to be on the show. He was afraid that if she went on the show, she would get, like, dragged into some. Which she actually did get dragged into. And then that fight that happened with Deborah just kind of like. It kind of, like, bolstered up his opinion about the situation.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So he's like, so this is gonna end. And she's like, well, it's not ended. It's just more so, like, I just don't want to give it too much credence to something that's going to interrupt all the process. To all the process that I made. Just say what you're trying to say. Just say it. And so she's like, remember I was crying. We don't. I see nothing on your forehead. I'm so sorry to be Team Ashley on this one. And I'm glad she's suing that lady for hitting her and stuff, because Deborah was completely out of line. But I don't need a whole storyline for an entire year about it. I just don't.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I. I still am. Like, I still am. Like, not quite sure why Kieran is a full fledged housewife again. It's nothing against her. I like her. She's beautiful. She has. She seems, like, really cool and everything, but, like, she. I don't really know what's going on. Like, how, like, why, like, what is warranting the full housewife treatment? Like, she's not even at the event later on in the episode. She just sort of is giving kind of like, friend of which is fine, but, like, I'm just sort of a little perplexed. I'm perplexed on how. How she got this. Unless she's gonna have a bigger role later in the season.
Ronnie Karam
Well, I think maybe it's like a Game of Thrones type thing where they're propping her up and being like, look, everybody, we're making a new housewife. So maybe the other housewives feel threatened and they'll do more. I'm guessing. I'm guessing they're using Kiarna as a prop to the other to get the other ladies in gear or something. But it's not really working.
Ben Mandelker
Maybe Jess.
Ronnie Karam
No one seems to really care.
Ben Mandelker
It feels like Jassy would be the one. I mean, Jassy is the one. Her husband's in the NFL. She likes putting on airs when she had that whole party at the Willard and everything. Whereas.
Ronnie Karam
You want to hear what I read?
Ben Mandelker
Yes.
Ronnie Karam
I read that Jassy was going to be the main flute holder, but then she got demoted after the trip. And they turned it. They made it Kierna, But I don't know why. I don't know why they would have done that. Because if Jassy did something, we didn't see it. It Right. Like something terrible or problematic. We didn't see what it was.
Ben Mandelker
So maybe Kieran does have a larger role over the next part of the season. You know, we did get our mid season trailer here, so maybe there's like a turning point there because. Yeah, it just seems to me like Jassy would be the. The housewife, but. But she's not. I mean, like Kieran again. I just also, in terms of just thinking about, like, what Bravo looks for, Bravo loves, like, decadence. Like most. They usually like decadence and wealth and all this stuff. And you have Kieran, who seems very nice. Her husband's like a social worker. It just doesn't seem very Bravo. I don't obviously have a problem with social workers, but it seems like Bravo wants a little bit more of the glitz and the glamour. So I'm just. I'm confused, but I'm open to it.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So he's like, well, you know, you had therapy, so that's good. And she's like, well, I mean, I'm not crying right now, so that's good. He goes, yeah, for once. And she's like, why you want to make me cry now? I was like, okay, great scene, guys. Pack it up. Maybe next time let's do this at the med spa, because at least we could be surrounded by important things like Botox. This is. That's like the social work for aging gay people. Okay? That's what I care about. Those are the people really changing lives.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, exactly. Now Giselle is walking into a place called Deck 11. And Karen and Ash and Wendy and Stacy, they all arrive and they. Giselle orders a char shootery plate. And Giselle is basically like, Wendy comes in and they're laughing about how Wendy always has glasses to match every outfit. And we See that? Etc. And they're getting their charcuterie. They keep calling it funny things. So then Stacy has just had her. Had her mediation. So she's like, well, everyone, that was eye opening to sit with you all and hear what you had to say. Now it's time for the weather. All right, Chuck, what do you have for the weather?
Ronnie Karam
I went to my first mediation point, and I was wearing these earrings, which were so adorable that we had to start late because nobody could stop commenting on them. If you guys would like to try them out, you can try them for 30 days. Just let me know by calling 1-800-try-MEND. All right, so I did have a conversation with my attorney like you suggested. And first of all, I just want. I just want say, me and my husband had a very old school kind of relationship. I'm just a beautiful woman on television, and he's from a very well respected family in, guess where? Germany. So that's how that started. And I just didn't know where anything was, where the money was. I didn't even know where the sandwich bread was. Is that crazy?
Ben Mandelker
Honestly, I didn't even know what marzipan was. Which apparently is a really big deal in Germany. So to be honest, I haven't paid a bill in like 15 years. And there were just a lot of things I didn't know about because, you know, when you go into mediation, you have to have full financial disclosure. So that's why for a limited time only, I am offering this pen for $10. With this pen, you can write notes to yourself to say things like, look into where money is, where you can find it and where it's kept, and the amount of notes you can leave around your house. Everyone, I am telling you, this is the deal of a lifetime. $10 for a pen. I encourage you to do it.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, Lord. So she's like, well. And then, you know, you have full financial disclosure. And I didn't know about this account. And then. Wait, what did you say? What was in my name? So that's shady. He was putting her name on all these different accounts she had no idea about. And instead of. Of course, because this is housewives, I really want to know about this. I'm like, what did his shady ass do? And what name, what accounts raising your name on. And instead, everybody makes it about themselves. And it starts with Wendy. Wendy's like, I feel the same way. I mean, it's my birthday, and just so you know, I don't know how to pay my mortgage. I have no idea. But you know what? I don't even know who my light company is. Like, literally the same as everyone else's. Well, you really are behind.
Ben Mandelker
Stacy's like, well, because you trust your husband. But what if I told you that your husband might someday make you the CEO of a shell LLC called Pretzels Bratwurst llc. I'm sorry, everyone. Wendy's like, I do, great idea.
Ronnie Karam
I'm coming up with the pretzel bratwurst industry. So she's like, yeah, you listen. I twist my husband, but also, I'm taking care of the kids. I know everything about the kids, so you should know everything about the money. Listen, the kids aren't going to give you money. You need to figure out where the money is. It doesn't matter that you know where the kids are. That's crazy. And so she's like, yeah, I guess I should figure out who my mortgage goes to. You need to figure. You need to get a fucking. What do they call those? Forensic accountant to explain shit to you so you know where all your money is and where it's going.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, absolutely. So then Ashley is like, yeah, well, you know, my ex husband, soon to be ex husband, was very similar. And he lights her care of everything. So I understand it's a learning curve. And Stacy's like, yes, it is a learning curve. Thank you so much. That is a great observation. Thank you so much. And Stacy says, transitioning into being a single mom of Arabella, I've got to be smarter. I've got to know what's going on with the money. I'm glad that I now know everything. And maybe I now know everything because the ladies nudged me a little bit and they said, hey, speak up and ask questions. So, ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to announce accounts. I now know what a bank is.
Ronnie Karam
I like that she turns all the negatives into a positive on the show because I feel like every time they really start with her, like, they're like, you do not know your husband. I think there's a lot of fights that could have happened where Stacy just takes everything they're saying as a positive. And she's like, I would like to thank you for telling me. I don't know what the I'm talking about, because I really don't. Hugs to you guys. Right? You probably just saved my life. Life. So then Ashley is like, well, it's interesting you have multiple appointments because ours was a set day and it sucked and it went all day and I didn't make any eye contact. Mostly because it Looks like he's crying all the time, even when he's not. But ultimately, you know. And Wendy's like, oh, boy. Was it contentious or was it just a lot you all had to go through? Did anyone give you citations? Did you want to hold mine?
Ben Mandelker
No, it wasn't contentious until Michael grabbed my lawyer's butt. But other than that, we didn't reach an agreement. And there is a confidentiality clause that the other party would like to implement. And I'm not really. Basically, Michael's like, you can't talk about me on TV anymore. And she's like, no, I am going to explicitly talk about you on tv. So that's a non starter. Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
She's like, what, you think I'm gonna get Giselle to stop bashing Michael on tv? That's never gonna happen. Like, I can't do that. And it was nine hours that they were in there. That's crazy.
Ben Mandelker
I know. And Wendy's like, oh, did they. Did they want to implement that post divorce? And Ashley goes, yes, for eternity. And he's like, you mean perpetuity? So no matter what form we come back in in different lifetimes, Chipmunks, turtles, rocks. We still can't talk about it for eternity. It's kind of the same thing, but it's still just kind of funny.
Ronnie Karam
So Karen's like, well, Ashley says the other option is that our attorneys communicate now to come to an agreement. So I'm waiting to see if maybe they acquiesce a little before I can do that. I'm learning a lot of words in court.
Ben Mandelker
I know. Wow. So Karen's like, go ahead, Ashley. She's got a bargaining chip. He wants her silence. Well, that's called alimony.
Ronnie Karam
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Ben Mandelker
Ashley gets paid. Kind of true. Like, if he wants her to be quiet, he's got to have to compensate for the money she's going to lose after she gets fired from the show for not being interesting.
Ronnie Karam
Well, that's exactly right. He's going to have to match her salary for the show, at least in perpetuity. In perpetuity. That's when you guys have pepper for paternity. You're never.
Ben Mandelker
Although I remember when I was an intern at Nickelodeon, I had to sign a contract about like. It was like, oh, if I come up with some sort of creative idea, like MTV Networks gets it, and it's like, and this contract is good for anywhere in the universe. It said, like, in the universe. Which I think is actually standard language. And I just think that's amazing. It's like just in case. Just in case. Space travel has some amazing advancements. You wind up, I don't know, on Saturn. Have you come up with an idea? On Saturn? We still own it.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Yeah. That's how they roll. So now we go to another amazing scene, Karen with Raven. Raven in this scene says she's always about to start crying. She's not strong like her mother, and I totally buy that. Doesn't Raven kind of look like a basket case?
Ben Mandelker
Raven looks like she just cried. Now she's smiling.
Ronnie Karam
She's like, hi, I'm doing great. Everything is wonderful. Mother, I'm having the best time not dating, but trying. Loving work. Love it. I came up with so many ideas for Amazon. Okay. So now Amazon, they're going to do orders online. So you can go online and order. It's great. They're really happy with me. Do you even have a job? I feel like she's lying.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, well, it's. Oh, what's. Yeah, she. I think she.
Ronnie Karam
I do. I do believe she has a job. I'm just saying there's something fishy.
Ben Mandelker
Well, okay. She's an influencer, I believe. And what was so funny is that later in the scene, Karen is like, oh, I'm so proud of Raven and her marketing career. I'm like, it's not. It's not a marketing career. It's. She's an influencer. And it's just funny that Karen's trying to put a spin on it to make it sound more professional because basically.
Ronnie Karam
I felt for it. I thought she was marketing for Amazon. That's why I was saying, I don't believe this. The way she was talking about it, I was like, she doesn't sound like she's in marketing for Amazon.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, I could be wrong.
Ronnie Karam
It makes sense. If she's an influencer, I could be wrong.
Ben Mandelker
But I could have sworn that last year they said that she was. She was an influencer. And if she's doing, like, Amazon stuff, I assume it was that she was doing kind of Amazon Live kind of thing and talking about how she's really not that close with Dorit and other fun stuff like that. So, yeah, I think she's, like, in the mix.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, those are huge. I mean, huge stars do them like Kyle Richards. So she's like, yeah, I do meetings with them weekly. I feel so executive. And Karen's like, look at you. I look at you now and I just live vicariously through you. And I would like to say, please stop drinking before you get into a car. I'm in a lot of trouble for what you did.
Ben Mandelker
I just wish. Just wish I hadn't possessed your body at that moment. And also, could you please lay off the chicken? It's not good for me.
Ronnie Karam
It's a very dirty bird. Every day I look at Raven. I could not be happier for her. She's living her best life. She's thriving in a marketing career. I want to be in her purse and I want to go with her. Like Belvedere isn't mine. What were we talking about, mother?
Ben Mandelker
Why does my purse have a dent? Oh, I was in your purse and I accidentally drove over a medium in it. So apologies.
Ronnie Karam
I drove your purse into a deer. So sorry. On my purse. Yes, I'm sorry about that. There was a deer trying to attack your purse car.
Ben Mandelker
The truth will come out. There's a court case, though, Raven. I can't talk about it.
Ronnie Karam
So they talk about Raven's love life, and she's like, obviously, I'm dating so many. Just dating, dating, dating. You know, me again. Can't even count them on one hand. Just dating, dating. Hey, waiter, can I borrow another hand? Dating. But, you know, you'd know if it was serious, Mom. You would know. It's just not so.
Ben Mandelker
Well, you know, I love that you're taking care of yourself and that you love yourself and this is your time, you know? And in fact, one of the most powerful moments after the accident was when I realized I wasn't taking care of myself also. Oh, if only grief had not robbed myself of myself in that moment across the median. Oh, Raven.
Ronnie Karam
And she's like you always. She says, you always say to me, mom, you're so strong. So proud. You are, mom. You are so proud. You know, you just carry the weight of the world on you. I mean, look at you doing everything for everybody else. Look at all the stuff you give to your face. Just look what you give to your face alone. You give it so much.
Ben Mandelker
You know, I cry all the time, Mother. We're so opposite in that way, you know, you soldier through. Yes, which is why I need to.
Ronnie Karam
Know, where are my soldiers?
Ben Mandelker
Yes, mother. You. You don't have to ask the waitress that, by the way, when every time she comes by, she is going to be a soldier for you. She promised. Anyway, I'm just blubbering the corner of my. With my handkerchief. And you're so strong, mother.
Ronnie Karam
But I have to realize, I am but a human. I am but a human. A very, very famous, well regarded human. I need to Take time for myself. Oh, what is this? And they bring over this food. And these guys are trying so hard to sell this food. They look ridiculous. And these two girls ain't eating it anywhere. They're looking at it like, okay, thank you so much. Here's a trial plate of 18 different fish from all over the country caught in these ways. Please just drop.
Ben Mandelker
I'm so glad you noticed that we're.
Ronnie Karam
Trying to do a scene here. People, they're like coming in and tap dancing every two seconds.
Ben Mandelker
I know they were. They did like an. They're doing a whole tasting. And it was so funny because when I was watching it, I was like, if I were there, I would be stuffing my face with it. I'd be eating all these dips. It all looked really good. And I would have been, you know, mute the dip. I would just, like, there would not have been anything left over. And they were being so dainty, having like one little bite. I was like, how do people have that self control? Okay, now maybe I'm just saying this because I ate a very buttery, fatty sausage roll this afternoon, and my mouth is so dry because of it at the moment. And then I had a full sandwich afterwards, and then I had oysters afterwards. But I seriously do want to know, how do people. How do people just have like a little bite of something and move on? I don't understand it.
Ronnie Karam
I don't know. I guess it's because they're on camera, right? So they don't want to, like, maybe be hogging down especially a 10 course meal or whatever the they're trying to serve them, you know? And it was different people, too. It's like, I'm the chef. Chef. I am the waiter. I am the runner. I am the owner. I am the lady who does a crosswalk across the street. For fuck's sake. Just give me some chips and get out of here.
Ben Mandelker
One of them did kind of look like the chef who popped up in every restaurant that one season of Salt Lake City. Like, every restaurant they went to, it was the same chef. Every single restaurant.
Ronnie Karam
Truly. Okay, so they're talking now. They start talking about the drunk driving character. And Karen's like, well, you know, everybody's bullying me about it. And Raven's like, anyone who does not have the utmost concern for your safety is not your friend. Mother.
Ben Mandelker
That's right. They are not a soldier for me. And she's like, yes, there's not a friend. That's exactly what I said. She goes, and there is no other conversation to be Had, I think, to go. Go for mess or go for anything other than that is just shameful, period. Thank you, Ms. Raven. I couldn't have said it more eloquently myself, also. I mean, did I. Did I write that on a. On a note card for you to say tonight? Yes, but I couldn't have said it. My. You know, just because I wrote it out doesn't mean I could have said it well myself. So then we go over to Mia and Jacqueline, and they're at a store, and Mia is basically gonna give Jacqueline a makeover because she feels like Jacqueline's fashion is just not on point.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. You know, Jacqueline's Jacqueline. She's a country girl. She grew up on a farm with horses. You know, I don't even know if they wore shoes back then. I mean, she's not a fashionista. It doesn't come natural. So. So offensive. But I also love it. And then, of course, Jacqueline comes in dressed like the Hamburglar, which doesn't help, you know?
Ben Mandelker
I know, though.
Ronnie Karam
And you're dressed like you're working at the Foot Locker now. Come on, man.
Ben Mandelker
I know. And she had, like, this little bob. But also, is Mia a fashionista? Is she. Want to talk? Isn't also Mia from the country? I can't tell. I thought.
Ronnie Karam
I don't know. Yeah. Mia's acting like she's a Rockefeller over there, you know? And she also gets mad later that Giselle's kid was sneaking out with a boy or something. Weren't you stripping at 19? Meeting Gordon, like, being an old man for cash? I don't really think that you're the moral epicenter, but, you know, that's what's fun about it.
Ben Mandelker
I know. Yeah. So. So then Jacqueline's like, okay. She's. Well, she's. Mia's saying that she's gonna give her, like, make her look better. And Jacqueline's like, why are you trying to make me look worse? She goes, well, I can't get any worse. Jacqueline, Mia. And then we see a sequence of. Of Jacqueline looking terrible in different outfits. So then she's trying. She tries on some outfit that looks honestly terrible on her. I'm like, this is not Mia trying to make Jacqueline look good. This is Mia trying to basically get revenge for Jacqueline momentarily sticking up for Gordon at the. At the birthday party because she's putting Jacqueline in some really janky outfits.
Ronnie Karam
She is. And Mia's also has no one to shoot with. Right. So she calls Jacqueline here to announce that she will now be coming for Giselle. She's like, I'm coming for Giselle. I'm mad at her now. And Jacqueline's like, okay, can I have this shoe? Can I have these shoes, too? Sure. She's just so mean to me. She's Cruella Develle. So she has now decided she's coming for Giselle. But good luck, because Giselle has decided that she's going to be nice to people this season. So let's see if you can get through it. Let's see if you can do this.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, good luck on that front. So Mia is. Is basically. Yeah. She just doesn't. She's gonna try this out as. As best as she can. Where are we?
Ronnie Karam
So next, we're making a long recap out of a show.
Ben Mandelker
I was like. I was like, are we recapping the scene? Are we going to the next one? I was like, sound like Ronnie was saying, let's go to the next one. I wasn't sure.
Ronnie Karam
They didn't say anything in this scene. This scene was just like.
Ben Mandelker
I just wanted to confirm. I was like, are we gonna. Are we just gonna move forward? Okay, good. I'm. Listen, there was nothing for me to go. I'm happy. I'm happy.
Ronnie Karam
That was a whole scene. She got. She got clothes for her, and she. She announced that she's going to be coming for Giselle. I mean, I'll go into more if you want to.
Ben Mandelker
No, no, I don't want to go into it anymore. There was nothing else to say. And now we're at Ashley's over the Edge event, which has sprung on us out of nowhere. She's like, well, here it is. It's my big event. I was like, wait, what? There's a big event? Didn't you just have a big event? But she is doing a thing called over the Edge, which is basically, it's gonna be a charity fundraiser thing for something called New Hope that serves the homeless community in the DMV and all that good stuff. And she talks about how, like, if it weren't for her grandmother, she probably would have been homeless herself or unhoused growing up.
Ronnie Karam
And, you know, it's. To me, all I see is, like, another charity in this episode that is not giving Botox to poor people. People. So let's stop wasting our time. Okay, so basically, this charity, for some reason, has to do with you not having a home yet. We're going to scale down the largest building in town. I don't know. I don't know how those two things correlate, but that's what's going to happen here? Ashley is going to rappel down the side of a gigantic building, and then people are going to watch it. And then they're going to give money to poor people.
Ben Mandelker
Yes. So Giselle is there, and then Stacy arrives with Arabella. And then everyone's just saying hello. And, like, more people are arriving, more children. Wendy shows up with her kids, and everyone's just saying hello. It's like a big, long sequence of hello, hello, hello. Are you doing this? Oh, yeah, we're doing this. And more kids show up. Ash's kids show up, etc.
Ronnie Karam
What a lovely parking lot. Guys, this is gonna be so fun. And they're, like, yelling for Ashley. And then Ashley gets really, really scared up there. She's like, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm gone crawl. What about crawling down a building?
Ben Mandelker
I can't believe it.
Ronnie Karam
Everyone's like a little ant. Oh, my God. And then she does it. You know, she comes down the side of the building. She's like, mary, Michael, you can do anything. You know what I mean? If you don't have to close your eyes through that, you should be flying down this thing.
Ben Mandelker
If you can mount Michael, you can dismount the building.
Ronnie Karam
So, Mia, if you can climb Michael, certainly.
Ben Mandelker
If you can. If you can deal with someone repelling, you can repel off of something. So then if you can be that.
Ronnie Karam
Revolted and keep a smile, you can repel and keep your smile.
Ben Mandelker
I feel like we're circling a really good one, but we haven't.
Ronnie Karam
Well, we haven't. We can't get it. It's okay. It's the Mondays. It's a case of the Mondays.
Ben Mandelker
So when Mia arrived, just. Just real quickly when Mia arrived and she says hello, she is basically like, by the way, everyone, things are not good with Giselle and I. So that won't be our scene today. And Giselle's like, I thought we were doing good. And I just. I'm highlighting this because I like. Giselle is like. She's like. I'm confused between Gordon and their relationship and Elf on the Shelf. It's a lot going on, but you have all the energy for me. Why they are so shady about ink. Like, whenever they can be, they just get such a dig. I mean, DJ Apple Box is still one of the funniest things. Okay, so. So Ashley goes down the building. She makes it. And Karen is, like, praying at one point. And so they cheer and everything. And now it's like, okay, great, we've done that. So should we maybe have a fight? Should we. Should Giselle and Mia have a scene now? Let's have a seat.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Let's earn our money, right? So then. Is that where we are? Yeah, I guess so, huh?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, let me. So basically, let me fast forward.
Ben Mandelker
No, because I went back a little bit, so it's a little confusing. But Mia. Mia's like, well, just down this dress. That's cute. And so I was like, thank you, Law. It's kind of like a bedroom slipper, but, like. And like a nightgown. She goes, oh, well, it's colorful. And I wanted Ashley to see me.
Ronnie Karam
That's cute. You wear the loudest, grossest thing you have so your friend on top of the building can see you. So I'm gonna make this really, really quick. Like, if there's anything that bothers me, you know, I'm always gonna come to you directly. So at your event, the gna, Brain Cancer and Jogging pants event, I came to you and I shared some really personal things. And then it shows her calling a meeting to share it with literally everybody because they were so personal. But then at Wendy's birthday party, you started questioning why you would post this on social media.
Ben Mandelker
Right? I don't really say, da, da, da. I say, ah. Like, okay, well, you can't tell me that you're not really going to go going through things and that you don't ever share on social media. Like, you're all. You're always host, that you're a beautiful and outstanding mom and your children aren't permanent either. Giselle. And Giselle's like, no, they are not. But, you know, when I talked about the confusion, I thought that was, like, a legitimate question. And she's like, yeah, but, like, come to me. Like, don't bring into the group, like, your girls were sneaking boys in the house in the Dominican Republic. You didn't want me to bring that to the group, and guess what? I didn't bring it to the group. It's like, you're actively bringing it to group now. This is flimsy, and you are the queen of not bringing something to someone's face. We had a whole discussion about Karen going to rehab because we were chatting about it in another room with Jocelyn and Stacy.
Ronnie Karam
Not only that, you're trying to slut shame her kids while you're actively sneaking men in the back door right now, like, currently on your Instagram, which we saw. So whatever. So Giselle's like, oh, well, I did catch a boy on the ring cam when we were gone. And she's like, yeah, and she told me, I don't run and go tell because that's your business. You know? But then on social media, you post like, everything's perfect. Oh, so what she's supposed to do now? Go on her social media and be like, here's the ring footage of my daughter sneaking a boy. And I hope she learns her lesson.
Ben Mandelker
Also, like, a boy sneaking into a room. That's not that. That doesn't mean that your family. Like, that's not a. That doesn't move the needle in any direction. I mean, unless he was like, I don't know, a murderer who was like, come with me so we can chop people's heads off. That's a problem. But if it's just, like, a youthful dalliance, I don't think that's like, her family's in trouble. I think it's like, okay, I think she can have that.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Yeah. Mia's full of it. Also. Look, I can get. If you don't want someone giving you parenting advice when it's unasked for, but you're a disaster. Okay? You're calling a whole group together to cry and say that your husband's unsafe to be around, but then you're posting with your kids around him and saying, like, here. Here we all. Here we all are. Both the guys I'm fucking and the kids that might or might not be theirs. It's like, what do you. What do you want people to say? It's confusing for your children. It is. I'm sorry, but that's just the fact.
Ben Mandelker
You literally have ink climbing up a ladder to your window to sneak in. First floor window, I'd like to add. And you're still going to try to shame. You're going to try to shame the daughters. No, it doesn't work.
Ronnie Karam
So then she's like, well, I don't question why you're only posting them being outstanding girls. She's not posting about your kids being shitheads. What are you talking about? Like, what correlation are you making here? It doesn't even make any sense.
Ben Mandelker
It's thirsty. So Giselle's like, well, if they want to give other views of whatever's going on in their life, they have social media and they can do that. Which, by the way, great response by. By Giselle. Giselle is not falling for this. Like a. Like, someone else would have fallen for it, but Giselle's not falling for it. No.
Ronnie Karam
Giselle's like, I'm not going to give this to this like, lame ass. So then Karen. Well, the stress of juggling a pimp village has really gone to me as hell. Children are off limits.
Ben Mandelker
The stress of juggling a pimp village, I mean, just that just sums up. Oh my God, like, so then Mia.
Ronnie Karam
Of course is going to use mental health again. And she's like, this is real sense to them. And I'm dealing with someone with that mental health issue. Literally every morning I wake up and I'm like, I don't even know what page he's on. So be better.
Ben Mandelker
Currently, Gordon is in Mania everyone. And I know that she's probably going through a lot because she's becoming, becoming an empty nester. But motherhood is really hard and it evolves and it changes and sometimes park overall is involved and so is Christine McNichol. And you just have to be okay with being an empty nester. And so, so who are you to tell me that who I am as a mother when you're not even living your authentic life? At least I'm keeping it real over here.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, you're not keeping it real. You're constantly lying and making shit up. Oh my God. So she's like, well, I'm just gonna remind you every now and again, I'm gonna call you on your shackle. And she's like, well, I'm actually just taking it all in because after it's all in, then I will react. Giselle's like, oh, I'm not gonna yell at you right now, but I will figure out how to ruin your life and tend to that for the rest of the episode, for the rest of the season. And then we get a coming this season on Real Housewives of Potomac. And let's just say it ends in dog shit everywhere and someone barking.
Ben Mandelker
So it's a wild ending to that mid season trailer. It's very Dallas. Real House was a Dallas, I feel like at the end.
Ronnie Karam
Oh yeah.
Ben Mandelker
But yeah, good times. Pimp Village. That's amazing. Thank you all for being here again. Keep an eye out for ticket links to come up tomorrow. They'll be, I think at 10am local for whatever market you're in. Well, the tickets will be up for the pre sale and then everything goes on sale on Wednesday. So thanks everyone for listening and we'll hope to see you at one of our live shows and bye. Bye. Watch what Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto.
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Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like Chester Nuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittany Broski and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery App, Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Have you ever wondered who created that.
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Ben Mandelker
Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly?
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Introducing the Best Idea Yet A brand.
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New podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with. Listen to the Best Idea yet on the Wonder App or wherever you get your podcasts.
Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens #2639 RHOP 0909: Thriving and Diving
Release Date: December 2, 2024
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam | Wondery
Introduction
In episode #2639 titled "RHOP 0909: Thriving and Diving" of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve deep into the latest developments of The Real Housewives of Potomac (RHOP). Skipping the usual advertisements and intros, the duo focuses on dissecting the episode's pivotal moments, character dynamics, and underlying tensions that drive the drama forward.
Tour Announcements and Updates
Before diving into the episode analysis, Ben and Ronnie share exciting news about their upcoming Mounting Hysteria Tour 2025. They encourage listeners to purchase tickets as Christmas gifts and highlight the perks for Patreon members, including pre-sale access and exclusive content. Notably, Ben addresses an error in their tour poster regarding the Dallas show date, clarifying that it has been moved to May.
Quote Highlight:
"An important date to flag for people is February 1st. That is when the Golden Crappies are back and we are really looking forward to that." – Ben Mandelker [12:19]
Dissecting RHOP's "Thriving and Diving"
1. Mia’s Family Dynamics
The episode centers around Mia’s interactions with the fathers of her children, Ink and Gordon. Ben points out the inconsistency in Mia’s portrayal of her children’s parentage, recalling past statements where Mia acknowledged Ink as a father from a previous marriage.
Quote Highlight:
"Mia was saying that Ink is a father. I mean, she literally said, I think Ink is the father of our children." – Ronnie Karam [09:21]
The hosts critique Bravo for not providing clarity earlier, leading to unnecessary drama when Mia introduces Gordon into family gatherings, creating tension between the two fathers.
2. Wendy’s Birthday Celebration
Wendy receives a citation from the Governor of Maryland, a moment that brings the family together. The ceremony, however, is undercut by ongoing disputes among the housewives. Ben humorously notes the absurdity of having high-profile individuals like the governor involved in personal celebrations.
Quote Highlight:
"Recognition of your life's extraordinary journey. And yes, I do include the one year of the candle." – Ben Mandelker [16:44]
3. Mediation and Divorce Dynamics
A significant portion of the episode focuses on the mediation processes of Ashley and Stacy. Ben and Ronnie analyze the differing approaches each woman takes toward their divorces, highlighting Ashley’s fear of losing access to her children and Stacy’s naive optimism about a smooth negotiation.
Quote Highlight:
"When Mia arrives, she is basically like, by the way, everyone, things are not good with Giselle and I." – Ben Mandelker [71:46]
The hosts discuss the manipulation tactics Mia employs, using mental health as a shield while simultaneously engaging in dubious relationships.
4. Kiarna’s Role at Open Arms
Kiarna’s scenes at the social work nonprofit, Open Arms, are scrutinized for lacking depth and substance. Ben and Ronnie compare her character to past housewives who overstep their boundaries without contributing meaningfully to the storyline.
Quote Highlight:
"She reminds me of Gail from Secrets and Wives. The dentist wife, right?" – Ronnie Karam [43:37]
5. Raven’s Relationship with Her Mother
Raven’s strained relationship with her mother is another focal point. The hosts highlight Raven’s superficial portrayal of her professional life and her mother's attempts to legitimize her influencer status.
Quote Highlight:
"She is an influencer, I believe. And what was so funny is that later in the scene, Karen is like, oh, I'm so proud of Raven and her marketing career." – Ben Mandelker [58:53]
6. Mia and Jacqueline’s Makeover Conflict
A standout moment involves Mia giving Jacqueline a makeover, which backfires spectacularly. The hosts interpret Mia’s actions as a form of revenge, especially after Jacqueline stood up for Gordon during the birthday party.
Quote Highlight:
"Mia's trying to basically get revenge for Jacqueline momentarily sticking up for Gordon." – Ronnie Karam [65:56]
Hosts’ Insights and Commentary
Throughout the episode, Ben and Ronnie provide witty and candid commentary on the housewives' behaviors, often interjecting personal anecdotes to draw parallels with real-life scenarios. Their analysis emphasizes the recurring themes of facade maintenance, manipulation, and the complexities of blending personal and public lives.
Quote Highlight:
"Never marry someone you can't see yourself getting divorced from." – Ronnie Karam [25:00]
Conclusion
Watch What Crappens wraps up the episode discussion by summarizing the key conflicts and anticipating future developments, particularly the upcoming Golden Crappies event. Ben and Ronnie maintain their trademark blend of mockery and affection, underscoring their love for the chaotic yet captivating world of Bravo's housewives.
Notable Quotes:
Final Thoughts
For fans who haven't tuned into the episode, Ben and Ronnie's detailed and humorous breakdown offers a comprehensive understanding of the intricate dramas within The Real Housewives of Potomac. Their ability to highlight both the absurdities and emotional depths of the show makes this summary a valuable read for potential listeners seeking insight into Bravo's latest offerings.