#2642 RHOBH S1403 Part One: Taking OceanSides

Summary

Watch What Crappens - Episode #2642: RHOBH S1403 Part One - Taking Oceansides

Release Date: December 4, 2024

In this episode of "Watch What Crappens," hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve deep into the tumultuous happenings of Season 14, Episode 3 of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" (RHOBH), titled "Life's a Beach." This detailed recap not only highlights the dramatic events but also provides insightful commentary and humorous takes on the unfolding drama. Below is a comprehensive summary of the episode, structured into clear sections for ease of understanding.

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1. Introduction to the Episode

As the episode kicks off, Ben and Ronnie provide a brief overview of the episode's focus, setting the stage for the intense interactions and plot developments that follow. They immediately dive into the main storylines without lingering on advertisements or introductory segments, ensuring that listeners get straight to the captivating content.

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2. Kathy Hilton's Grand Gesture

One of the standout moments of this episode centers around Kathy Hilton's unconventional method of inviting fellow housewives to a weekend getaway in Oceanside, California. Instead of traditional invitations, Kathy opts for personalized, pre-packed suitcases delivered directly to each housewife's doorstep.

• Personalized Invitations:
  • Ben (05:45): "What a wacky invitation. What a crazy time."
  • Ronnie (17:12): "I want something meaningful, like a suitcase with all your essentials and a personal touch."

This method not only underscores Kathy's wealthy status but also sets the tone for the upcoming drama, as the housewives grapple with her extravagant gesture amidst their personal tensions.

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3. Garcelle and Jade's Modeling Venture

Garcelle Beauvais introduces her son, Jade, who has recently signed with LA Models. The episode showcases Jade's photoshoot, highlighting his shy demeanor and Garcelle's hopes that modeling will help him come out of his shell.

• Garcelle's Optimism:
  • Ronnie (57:50): "She's hoping that being in front of the camera will help Jade become more confident."

Ben and Ronnie humorously speculate on whether modeling is the right avenue for Jade, considering his introverted nature.

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4. Kyle Richards' Struggles with Divorce and Personal Growth

A significant portion of the episode focuses on Kyle Richards as she navigates her ongoing divorce from Mauricio Umansky. The hosts discuss Kyle's efforts to redecorate Mauricio's former office and her attempts to create a new sense of independence.

• Kyle's Rebuilding Efforts:

  • Ben (39:37): "She's redoing Mauricio's office, painting the bathroom—small steps towards a fresh start."

• Ronnie's Commentary:

  • Ronnie (40:34): "She's even asking about eight towels—is that enough? Kyle, we need better questions."

The interplay between Kyle and Maurico is analyzed, with Ben and Ronnie questioning the authenticity of their peaceful divorce and Kyle's attempts to maintain a facade of cordiality.

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5. Interactions with Carol and the Esteemed Assistants

Throughout the episode, Carol, Kyle's brand manager, plays a pivotal role in assisting Kyle with various tasks, including packing for the Oceanside getaway. Their interactions are marked by humor and a touch of exasperation from Ronnie.

• Packing Antics:

  • Ben (37:42): "Is anyone mind if we hit up Anita Gelato before we hit the road? No? Carol, come on."

• Ronnie's Take:

  • Ronnie (56:17): "Hope you don't mind. So Sutton's looking through her clothing for her packing while Avi watches."

These segments highlight the chaotic yet amusing efforts to organize the trip, adding layers to the household dynamics.

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6. Dorit Kemsley's Concerns and Parental Challenges

Dorit Kemsley shares her anxieties about leaving her children behind during the trip, emphasizing the challenges of balancing motherhood with personal aspirations.

• Dorit's Dilemma:
  • Ronnie (58:58): "I'm exhausted. Also, I love that Dorit's acting like she's never left her kids for overnight trips."

Ben and Ronnie empathize with Dorit's struggles, highlighting the universal challenge of parenting amid personal turmoil.

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7. Erica Girardi and Trixie Matthey's Quirky Moments

Erica Girardi and Trixie Matthey add a dose of quirky humor to the episode. From Trixie's unconventional kissing methods to Erica's interactions with guests, their segments provide a lighter contrast to the heavier drama.

• Trixie's Quirkiness:

  • Ben (57:33): "Trixie's just making out with the back of her elbow. Bend in her arm."

• Erica's Engagement:

  • Ronnie (58:16): "Poker chips, sage, holy water. All set for Oceanside."

These moments underscore the diversity of personalities within the cast, keeping listeners entertained with their unique antics.

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8. Analysis of Kyle and Dorit's Friendship Dynamics

The evolving friendship between Kyle Richards and Dorit Kemsley is a focal point, with Ben and Ronnie dissecting their interactions and the underlying tensions.

• Friendship Tensions:

  • Ben (50:23): "But then, she buys furniture—this is just wealth right there. Just wealth."

• Ronnie's Insight:

  • Ronnie (53:58): "She has you on Amazon live saying that Dorit exaggerated your friendship. That's pretty solid."

The hosts express skepticism about the longevity of Kyle and Dorit's friendship, suggesting that underlying issues may resurface.

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9. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Ben and Ronnie reflect on the unfolding dramas and anticipate future developments in the next part of their recap series.

• Anticipation for Part Two:
  • Ronnie (61:38): "Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two."

Their excitement for continued discussions ensures that listeners remain engaged and look forward to the forthcoming episode.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ben (06:34): "You know, I'm sat here trying to open this water bottle on a live podcast. People are listening. The last thing they need is to see me straining my face."

• Ronnie (02:00): "Things that should stay drama-free. Like getting birth control, accessing gender-affirming care, getting tested for STIs—health care shouldn’t be dramatic."

• Ben (23:17): "She's a rich lady right here. They have to put all the pillows in for Kathy, so that way she's comfortable when she drives."

• Ronnie (35:58): "Bold."

• Ben (39:37): "She's redoing Mauricio's office, painting the bathroom—small steps towards a fresh start."

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Insights and Analysis

Wealth and Status Symbols: The episode underscores the significant role that wealth and status play in RHOBH. Kathy Hilton's luxurious invitations and the meticulous packing of gift bags highlight the opulent lifestyles that set the stage for both admiration and envy among the cast.

Friendship Dynamics: The strained friendship between Kyle and Dorit serves as a microcosm for the broader themes of rivalry and alliance within the show. Ben and Ronnie's analysis suggests that past grievances continue to influence present interactions, hinting at potential future conflicts.

Parenting and Personal Growth: Dorit's concerns about leaving her children and Kyle's attempts at personal reinvention reflect the balancing act many housewives perform between family responsibilities and personal ambitions. The hosts commend Dorit's dedication while humorously critiquing Kyle's methods.

Humor Amid Drama: Ben and Ronnie adeptly intersperse humor throughout their recap, offering comedic relief in the midst of intense drama. Their lighthearted commentary on everyday struggles, like opening water bottles or dealing with new car models, makes the recap relatable and entertaining.

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Conclusion

Episode #2642 of "Watch What Crappens" offers a thorough and engaging recap of RHOBH Season 14, Episode 3, "Life's a Beach." Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam blend insightful analysis with sharp humor, providing listeners with both an informative and entertaining overview of the episode's key events and underlying tensions. From Kathy Hilton's extravagant gestures to the evolving friendships and personal struggles of the cast members, this recap captures the essence of RHOBH's blend of glamour, drama, and personal growth.

For those who haven't listened to the podcast, this summary serves as a comprehensive guide to the episode's main points, ensuring you're well-informed and ready to dive into the lively discussions that "Watch What Crappens" is known for.

Transcript

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

I made my parents a beautiful photo book. From there I just took all these family photos that we had saved. We had to throw a lot of them away just because it takes up an entire attic, you know. I mean, I come from a huge Lebanese family and we had all these pictures and we finally just digitized them and it was so easy to just format them into a book. And it's beautiful. I still see it there every time I'm over there. And they really loved it.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Oh, I sure am. The HBO original the Last of Us. It's about to start another season.

[Ben]

What would you order on Doordash while you watch the Last of Us?

[Ronnie]

Well, while I'm watching Last of Us, I prefer eating salads from Doordash because the zombies are plants. So you're kind of eating the zombie plant people, you know.

[Ben]

Oh, good, you're restoring order.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's on theme.

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[Ben]

We know you're listening because you can't get enough drama, but there are some.

[Ronnie]

Things that should stay drama free.

[Ben]

Like getting birth control, accessing gender affirming care, getting tested for STIs, health care.

[Ronnie]

Shouldn'T be dramatic, but lawmakers insist on attacking our rights to get the care we need and deserve.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Who.

[Ben]

Cares what happens when there's so much.

[Ronnie]

Happens?

[Ben]

When there's so much that happens.

[Ronnie]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crap Ins, a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Yule Bruvs. I don't know why there wasn't an intro today, but there just wasn't. Hi, I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hi, Ben.

[Ben]

Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

[Ronnie]

Good. You enjoying London over there? I can see it through the window. I see a bar.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

The top of a building.

[Ben]

Yes. That is like a workspace over there or some sort of office building. So occasionally you might see a person walk by. I opened the windows that way. People who are watching On Crap is on Demand have a beautiful view of people milling about. Maybe people named Millie who are milling.

[Ronnie]

About, but possibly lots of Millies. And Gemma's over there.

[Ben]

Yeah. And Polly's and Ella's. It's great.

[Ronnie]

Well, welcome to the show today, everybody. Our tickets for the Mounting Hysteria tour have gone on sale. That's this year's tour. We haven't toured for a couple years, so we're excited to be back out on the road. We are starting in January, so tickets are up now. Go get them. You can find links at our website, watchup craftsmans.com. that includes the Crappy awards, which are going to be on Broadway this year in New York City. So get your tickets for that. That's February 1st. That's going to be so much fun. You know, we love a good old Broadway show. Now, come on, it's going to be amazing. We can't tell you what our theme is, but it's going to be good. And then what else? Also Patreon. That's where you get videos, bonuses. We are going to start recapping sold on slc, the new show that airs right after the other Salt Lake City Housewives show. It looks cheesy and amazing and perfect for our Patreon bonus episodes. So if you want those, go check that out. And I think that's it. What else do you have to say, Bean?

[Ben]

Nothing else. I'm just excited. I can't wait to get back out on the road.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, there you go. Me too. Okay. Although I have to say, I need to really get the energy back up because I'm not used to doing that.

[Ben]

Let me tell you something. I need to get into road shape because I am, like, between London and Thanksgiving. Like, this is bad news over here. It's. I took a soul cycle class today. I was like, I. I need to do something. I. I still need to counteract that sausage roll I had earlier in this week. So I took a soul cycle class, and that was wild. That was. It was like a British soul cycle class, which was fun and they were very nice in there.

[Ronnie]

Believe in yourself, Gemma. Believe in yourself, girl. You may be pasty, but you're thin. Keep biking, Gemma. Keep biking.

[Ben]

Oh, the poor girl next to me did not understand her bike. She's like, how do I. How do I move the handlebars? Can you show me? And I was like, yeah, you just do this. And she's like, oh, thank you. What about the seat? I was like, you do this. Just. Oh, thank you so much. I'm sorry, one last question. What about the handlebars? I'm like, I just showed you that, Gemma. But it was great.

[Ronnie]

Are there cars around here? Do we have to do this bike? This? Absolutely exhausting.

[Ben]

Yeah. But anyway, so here we are with.

[Ronnie]

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. This episode is called Life's a Beach. And here we are. Okay, so this is Garcelle. Garcelle is in the photography studio because her son is becoming a model. Jade just signed with LA Models, and she's like, that's a big deal. And obviously we need professional photos. And I just couldn't have assembled a better team. So it's perfect. And one of the assistants is like, this is going to be amazing.

[Ben]

I'm trying to open up this. Jesus. This London water bottle does not open up. I'm going nuts over here. This is a tough day.

[Ronnie]

Have some manners, Ben. Ask it. Please open. Would you mind, please, Please.

[Ben]

You know, I'm sat here trying to open this water bottle on a live podcast. People are listening. The last thing they need is to see me straining my face. Okay, you know what? I'm not opening this bottle. I will not be drinking water.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, puncture with your teeth and just squirt some into your mouth. Come on, you're an American. Don't be such a wuss.

[Ben]

What would an American do? Well, that's like, here, give the American the trick. Water that doesn't open. Best served closed. That's what you get for the revolution.

[Ronnie]

Revenge is best as best served. Quenched.

[Ben]

Gemma. Gemma.

[Ronnie]

What?

[Ben]

Did you do this before? I literally cannot open it. Okay, so then we go to Erica's house, and there's a duck in her pool. And she's. She's happy with it. It's like she's basically decided, I'm not gonna swim in my pool. It's going to be a duck po pond. And that's cool. And so she's basically talking to it and she's like, hey there, duck.

[Ronnie]

I'm getting my car today. I don't give a. Do you give a duck?

[Ben]

I don't think so.

[Ronnie]

Go a duck. Am I right? Okay, yeah. All right.

[Ben]

I'm talking to a duck. That's my life.

[Ronnie]

This is what my life is lately. I mean, she's talking to a delusional animal that's swimming in a pool as its home. Which makes sense because she gets a Porsche delivered, and I think she's still got, like, million dollar lawsuits against her. Talk about not giving a fuck. She literally does not. So I have a Porsche. It's a special. It's made with victim bones of Tom's victims. It's lovely. The steering wheel is made out of Marco Marco face leather. We've just stripped Marco Marco of their face and turned into a steering wheel, baby. So she gets her Porsche and she's blown away. And so is anybody who can't get credit.

[Ben]

Yes. And then we go over to Anita Gelato in Tarzana.

[Ronnie]

God, I would hang out with her in a second and I'd be like, you know what? You're my second best friend. I really like Betsy ice cream the most.

[Ben]

Betsy ice cream. She doesn't have any word play, but she just gets to the point.

[Ronnie]

She doesn't need to be, like, spicy. She's just delicious.

[Ben]

That's the ice cream. Yeah. Anita gelato. Also, of course she's in Tarzana. Like, if it was like, oh, Anita Gelato in Rosita or Anita Gelato in Santa Monica, I'd be like, no, but Anita Gelato in Tarzana, Absolutely.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

It matches. It works.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And I get that it's supposed to sound like I need a gelato, but to me, it just sounds like begging. Like you're passing this place and you say it out loud, I need a gelato. It should make you go, oh, I do need a gelato. But instead I'm like, ugh, you need a gelato. Well, stop fucking asking me. Get a job. You know, I'm like throwing a diet Coke can out of its head.

[Ben]

Anita gelato for all your snacking needs. Anita Gelato.

[Ronnie]

Somewhere Rob is quaking in his boots. So then Kyle and Portia are sitting outside talking about Mauricio over Anita Gelato, and Kyle's doing this thing this season where she's like, I kind of still love your dad, but I won't admit it. Kyle's got some weird, like, romance thing going on with Mo. I know they were together forever, blah, blah, blah. But I'm talking about the manipulation part of the audience. I'm not really sure what she's going for. Do you think that she was with Morgan and then Morgan dumped her and now she's sad that she dumped Mauricio? What's going on over there? I can't tell.

[Ben]

I mean, that could be. There's a little bit of that vibe. But, yeah, it is hard to tell. I think that Kyle just likes to have it all. I think she wants. She.

[Ronnie]

Don't we all?

[Ben]

Yeah. I think that she, like, both wants her independence, but then she also sees Mauricio having a thirst trap moment and living his best life, and she wants Mauricio, too. And I think that. I think. I think Kyle just treats everything the way she treats any bauble that she sees. As we see later in this episode, she's just like, what? You have that. You have that. I have that. I have that too. What? I want that. You know, that's just Kyle. That's.

[Ronnie]

She wants to shoot on somebody else's arm, and then suddenly it's worth more? Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. It is. But she def. She's definitely got the he. It's Mauricio today, which is weird. So. And listen, you know, I mean. Oh, girl. What I was gonna say, I'm like, listen. And then I'm like, I need myself. Actually, I don't know what I'm talking about. Okay, so they're talking about Mo. Mo going to Europe. And she's like, I'm just, like, curious when this girls trip is gonna be like, is he going with people? Am I gonna be nosy if I ask him? I mean, what. I'm not. The girls trip, the Mauricio trip. Like, what's going on? Like, what's going on? What? What' Like, I really care. And Portia's like, if he was going to go by himself, I think he was going by himself, but maybe he just made that up. Like, I don't know. She's like, well, he's not going to go alone. I mean, I can tell you right now, he's not going to go alone. I need a gelato. Anybody busy this weekend? Fancy ice cream? Anybody?

[Ben]

Now, I'm not a parent, so I don't know. I've never been in this situation, but I kind of feel like Kyle shouldn't be asking her daughter these questions.

[Ronnie]

Right?

[Ben]

It's kind of like she's trying to, like she's like getting in info on Mauricio through the daughter. I don't know.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, of course. Well, why else do you have fucking kids? You know, I don't like these lines. Everybody's drawing this season on what's appropriate around children. You shouldn't fight. You shouldn't talk about your, your friends in front of your children. You shouldn't do this around your children. What do we children, listen. Children are little sponges. They need to learn how to deal with bitches the same way the rest of us do. You need to talk about your friends to your, the people who are bothering you around your children. You need to talk about what a shithead your father is around your children. Stop protecting your children from everything I say. Just stop. The kids know anyway if they're listening 80% of the time to you. And they're going to hear this shit anyway. Like, stop living some fake ass life, you know, Let your kids know that you're a loser right up front so they're not all shocked like the rest of us were when we're 30. You know, we're like, oh my God, our parents are real people. Disgusting. Just admit it now.

[Ben]

Well, I just think, yeah, I'm. I'm down for like Katie talking shit in front of her kids on oc, but I just kind of feel like it's just funny to me, Kyle saying that her divorce Mauricio is going to be different. It's going to go well. But I guarantee, like, if you're starting to like mine for information through your children, it's going to go sour. I just see it going sour. But I say that as just never been there.

[Ronnie]

That's how you get the news. It's like turning on cnn. How else are you supposed to get the news about your ex? You know, you ask your kids, who's your dad dating? Is she ugly? Is she a bitch? Does she ever bother to make you breakfast? Does she pay attention to you? Does she like you? Why did your dad dye his hair? Who told him to dye his hair that color? Like, it's very important, you know, communication.

[Ben]

Listen, before we can even talk about the hair, I'm still getting over the new teeth from last season. Okay? I'm still, I still have not adapted. So I can't even, I can't even approach the hair yet.

[Ronnie]

I mean, listen, I'm for. I'm from. Why are we disagreeing so much today? I'm for new teeth too. I mean, we live in la. What are you supposed to do? We're like. We're supposed to be Mr. Potato Heads, you know? You don't like your teeth? Get them off. Get. Get some new ones on.

[Ben]

I am all for new teeth. I don't know if I'm all for, like, piano keys, but that's okay.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, like. Well, that's true. I know what you're saying.

[Ben]

Just like, whoa.

[Ronnie]

Like, the vanderpump. The new vanderpump teeth are a lot. Yeah.

[Ben]

It looks like an ancient Roman army coming towards us with their shields.

[Ronnie]

So I just saw that yesterday, that gladiator movie.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah. How was it?

[Ronnie]

That is the. That is, like, wicked for boys. Oh, my God. Right when the lights went down, I went. It was like, literally the same movie, but for boys. You know, just a lot of heads chopped off and stuff like that. But it was still the same basic thing. It was like, find your destiny. And at the end, he's like, I'm finding my destiny.

[Ben]

Defines Robert.

[Ronnie]

Same thing.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Denzel Washington's, like, popular. Do you want to be popular?

[Ben]

No good deed goes unpunished. So, anywho, the point is this poor, no matter what, where we land on this really inessential argument about Kyle. Portia doesn't give a fuck. She's not even listening to Kyle in the first place. She is 16. It's really weird. She has, like, a short hang off of her shoulder. She's like, whatever, Mom. Let me just have my idea gelato. And it's great. It's great that she's entered the phase of being totally indifferent to anything Kyle says.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I think she entered that in Covid. Because, remember, after the pandemic, she came back and she was like, all in black. And Kyle's like, she has social anxiety now because the pandemic made kids more awkward because they missed a lot of years being around other kids. Like, they missed a lot of socialization, whatever. And so it kind of changed that generation for. For good, I think. Like, it kind of stained them. Oh, I don't know stains well. But to be fair, the scar them.

[Ben]

The only reason, I think. I think the only reason why Portia was wearing black is because Kyle thought her clothes were pieces of salmon. And she tried to cook them all. And, you know, still working at it. Still working on that. That temp for her cookbook.

[Ronnie]

So then we go to Kathy's house, and Kathy's with her brand manager, Carol. Carol, no.

[Ben]

Is this the woman? Did we finally figure out who the woman is or the lady? Is it Carol?

[Ronnie]

No, no. The lady's one of the maids, I think. No, we've seen Carol before on here. We've seen Carol.

[Ben]

I'm sorry, Carol?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. You don't remember Carol. I love Carol because she's always, like, in someone's hand me down dress. Like, it looks like she's in fancy clothes, but it looks like, I don't know, Kyle's. Maybe Kyle's like, could you. Carol, can I borrow Carol today to take some stuff to Goodwill? And Carol's like, hi, I'm Goodwill, Just here to pick up some stuff.

[Ben]

Yeah, Carol. Sweet Carol. She really just. She is just doing everything for everyone this episode. So Kathy is with Carol, and Kathy, she. Carol's helping Kathy pack up suitcases, like, a whole bunch of them. And it turns out that Kathy is planning a weekend get getaway for the group in Oceanside, California. And she's like, well, I know that Kyle and Dorit are having a tough time, so I really thought a getaway would be a good distraction for them or at least a chance for me to hawk a new product without Kyle it up like she did with my tequila. Okay.

[Ronnie]

Went to last year with Kathy. Didn't Kathy take them to Oceanside last year, too? We were trying to figure out if that was a Hilton place or whatever. She took them one year last year or the year before, you know? So anyway, yeah, she's really trying to plug this place. She's like, you know what? I'm going for Oceanside this year again. We're going to make Oceanside pop. We're going to make Oceanside pop. So Kathy's like, I got chips and bananas, which I don't know why that made me laugh. I just like that combo. Like, that's what we need. That's what we need to deliver guests. Chips and bananas. And Carol's like, well, as long as you got chips and bananas, we're set, I guess. Idiot.

[Ben]

Does anyone mind if we hit up Anita gelato before we hit the road? No. Can we do that? Carol, come on. Get your. Get your head in the game. So Kathy is like, you know, I wanted to do something extra special, so I'm inviting the girls with invitations inside personalized suitcases, which is really hilarious. Also, that is an expensive invitation. You know, we see lots of stuff where. Like the invitations on Bravo where Butler shows up and gives people a box with, like, butterflies come out and everything. I guarantee you none of those cost as much as those suitcases.

[Ronnie]

No, but, you know, like, you're super rich, so it doesn't really matter. I want something meaningful, like, I want her to show up with a suitcase and be like, ronnie. You know, I really thought about probably what you ultimately need to make you happy. And then I open it up and it's a child. I'm like, oh, my God. I didn't even know I should be a parent. She's like, I believe in you. I mean, that's a trip right there.

[Ben]

Yeah. And then you ask the child, what's your father doing? Is he in Europe right now?

[Ronnie]

I would. I would. 100%. I'd be like, who's your birth father? What's your life?

[Ben]

What's been up to? Have you spoken to Ben? What's he doing?

[Ronnie]

So we see 30 minutes, 32 minutes earlier, organizing suitcases. So there's bucket hats. Because Kathy's like, oh, people liked my bucket hat. That'll be my thing now. Bucket hats in Oceanside. So she's got Red Bulls and gift bags and self tanner and all sorts of in there.

[Ben]

Yeah. So they're organizing it all and everything. And so now they're gonna go drive these. These suitcases, which I'm surprised they fit them all into the trunk of this. Like, it was a vintage. Was that a vintage Rolls Royce that she was driving? She's basically. She. It's like a Rolls Royce convertible.

[Ronnie]

I think I know what the new. I don't even know the logo for those new Ionic cars. I'm like, what is that? When did that come here? I don't understand cars. Where did they all come from? What happened to Ford? Somebody new things on the road.

[Ben]

You know what happened to a good, reliable Ford Taurus? Okay.

[Ronnie]

There's just so many new cars on the road, I don't even know what they are. There's like a Rivian thing that's like an electric truck, which I don't understand. Cyber truck. Ionic.

[Ben]

The Rivian.

[Ronnie]

You don't like the Rivian?

[Ben]

I'm not totally. It's. It's fine, actually. But, like, every time I see its headlights, it looks like crab eyes. You ever see. Yeah, crab eyes.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Stick up like this over there. They're adorable. I think crab eyes are adorable on crabs because I actually think crabs are really funny and cute, but I think.

[Ronnie]

It'S a sexy car. But it's so funny because it's like a big pickup truck kind of thing. And then you look inside, and it's like a white dude in a cardigan. Like, wait a minute.

[Ben]

Always.

[Ronnie]

What are you doing? What are you doing in there? Yeah.

[Ben]

But at least people who Drive Rivians don't park over like three parking spots like all the cybertruck drivers do.

[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984 and Percival Everett's.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

There's more to imagine when you listen.

[Ben]

I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again because I last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible.

[Ronnie]

Especially when it's told by a full cast like that like it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know, that's major. Go to audible.com crappins and discover all the years best waiting for you. That's audible.com crappins so let's see what else? So she's driving a road trip.

[Ben]

Yeah, she and Carol are going to go drive bring these suitcases across Los Angeles.

[Ronnie]

Carol's doing assignments across like Kathy Hilton driving herself oh, Jesus Christ. I don't get paid enough for this. You don't get paid enough? I'll give you a raise. House, $5. House, $500,000 sounds great. Whatever.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

No, I don't know what money is.

[Ben]

Mohammed, the Chief of staff. Like, I mean, this is just. This is just a rich lady right here. Like, they have to put all the pillow these specific pillows in for Kathy, so that way she's comfortable when she drives. And that is just wealth right there. Just wealth. You just have someone to put a pillow in for you.

[Ronnie]

Also, how she eats a banana is very wealthy. Like, she opens the banana and then she takes a bite of it, and then she turns it upside down and puts it down. But she just put that banana slime first onto the Rolls Royce seat.

[Ben]

What was that about?

[Ronnie]

She doesn't even give a shit.

[Ben]

She acted like she was hanging up a phone. It was a banana.

[Ronnie]

I was like, are you stamping letters? Like, what are you doing?

[Ben]

Was that Carol's knee? Did you put it on Carol's knee?

[Ronnie]

Car was like, damn it. Carl just gave me this.

[Ben]

So they are driving, so they go to Bose's place first.

[Ronnie]

And it's just so funny because Kathy goes, we're going to Boz's first, which is in Hancock Park. And Carol's like, I love Hancock Park. And she's like, oh, yeah, Hancock park is so beautiful. Am I supposed to know what Hancock park is? What is that?

[Ben]

Kathy has never been. She has no idea.

[Ronnie]

Kathy's never been to Hancock Park. And you know, because she just keeps, like, complimenting Hannah Cock Park. Like, she's so shocked. She's like, look, there's streets here. This is great. So I figured this would be a dirt road, but it's not. So that's good. There's houses not made out of cardboard here. Are we in a different city?

[Ben]

You know what's so nice? They put up nice light posts around this shanty town here because, you know, it all looks like shacks to her. So. And then she's like, okay, wait, everyone. Oh, wait. Carol, be quiet for a moment. I'm. I'm gonna pray. She starts praying. She starts praying in the car, but, like, silently. But she's moving her lips.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I'm gonna pray now. I would love to hear what that prayer is.

[Ben]

I know. Dear God, please, please grant me the strength to go into this poor, poor neighborhood. Please don't let anyone attack me.

[Ronnie]

So, yeah, she's doing the. Which is my. How my grandma used to pray. She did the tongues like, but then when she prayed loudly, she'd be like, why is it a different language when you whisper? There's not like multiple tongue language. Pick a tongue lane. You know, a tongues lane. So then Kathy is like, wow, it's just so quiet here. There's. Aren't there factories and Coca Cola is being made or. I don't know. And Carol's like, oh, yeah, the roads are real beautiful here, aren't they? Wow. Roads, Flat roads. This is insane. Oh, it's beautiful. So then they go up to Boza's door, and Nico, the assistant comes to get her, and he's like, oh, hello. Hello, Kathy Hilton. Hi. Hello.

[Ben]

Poor person. I don't have my wallet on me, so if you want to mug someone, you can go mug Carol. She's. Lord knows she hasn't gotten attention from a man in a while, right, Carol? He's like, I work here.

[Ronnie]

Carol, have you seen this assistance here? Just show one shoulder.

[Ben]

Hilarious.

[Ronnie]

So cute. You are very cute.

[Ben]

All right. Hello, officer. Yes, this is Kathy Hilton. I'm being robbed by someone with an off the shoulder look. It's actually quite chic. I'm very impressed with the Hancock park robbers.

[Ronnie]

He's like, I'm Nico. Nice to meet you. It's like, nice to meet you too. Now please back away or Carol will stun you.

[Ben]

She's carrying pepper spray. Oh, Carol, you just brought a red bell pepper. That's not helpful.

[Ronnie]

Kathy's like, hold on, I'm gonna get my gun. Watch out, buddy. That's a banana. Kathy, do you just want. Do you want to come in and see bows?

[Ben]

Carol, throw the pepper at him. The least we could do.

[Ronnie]

So Bose is like, wow, you're here at my house. What a lovely surprise. Kathy Hilton's here. How lovely.

[Ben]

He's like, oh, well, you are a vision. Thank you. Thank you. I invented visions. Come on in. So Kathy comes in and she's like. So she's like, you're just like, here. Like, what is Kathy Hilton doing at my front door with a pleated bucket hat and a suitcase?

[Ronnie]

So we're going on a weekend getaway. And so they're very excited and she has to read the card to know. And so Boz is like, this is some Beverly Hills stuff going on here, right? Like, who delivers an invitation in the form of a suitcase that's already packed? Where are my things supposed to go? What a wacky invitation. What a crazy time. Are there cameras here? What are the cameras doing in here? Our lady is gonna fight. This is crazy.

[Ben]

I was the first person to bring a suitcase into Netflix in the first place. Before then, it was all briefcases. After me, it was all away luggage. So then Kathy. Kathy then moves on to the next place, so.

[Ronnie]

Well, no.

[Ben]

Now Bose is basically looking at the invitation with Nico, and she's like, calling all beach babes, join me for a beach bonding girl trip at Mission Pacific Resort, where laughter, friendship, and unforgettable memories await. All right, okay. She's like, you know, she's like, you know, I work in marketing. This is not great. She could do better.

[Ronnie]

I need a shorter log line. I'm not going to lie. So n's like, okay, let's go through this. She's like, red Bull. Wow. And look at this. And there's a monogrammed beach towel. And he's like, that.

[Ben]

That's cute.

[Ronnie]

Adorable.

[Ben]

Cute.

[Ronnie]

It's adorable. I said, very cute. Throw it away. I'll throw it away. It's disgusting. Get rid of it.

[Ben]

You know, Nico's like, can I keep this so I can tell my friends? Have a towel from Kathy Elton.

[C]

No.

[Ben]

Burn it.

[Ronnie]

So then Carol and Kathy continue their wacky delivery adventure. And Carol's like, okay. Next up is Cara Garcelle. She's doing a photo shoot with her son. Kathy's like, like, oh, okay, that's. Now here, I think. Are we in Pakistan? Where is this place? I've never seen anything like. Is that a building on fire? It's a street light. It's a street light, Kathy. All right, we'll get the bulletproof banana. Let's go in.

[Ben]

So they go into issue studio, and Jade is posing, and he really is like, a model. Like, I was like, wow. And Garcelle's like, one of the things I'm excited about Jade starting to model is because he's definitely shyer than the three of us. And I'm hoping that being in front of the camera, meeting new people will help him come out of his shell a little bit more. I don't know how that's really gonna work. I feel like if you're shy, like, being thrust down a Runway, is that gonna help? I mean, he's. He's gorgeous. He should be a model. I kind of feel like if he needs to come out of a shell, like, get him a job at Hurts or something.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that. That kid needs some time at the hamburger. What's the one that you dress in Hawaiian shirts? It's like a hula hut. Is it hula hunt?

[Ben]

Islands.

[Ronnie]

Oh, islands. Yeah, he needs a job at Islands. He Needs to like, learn how to come to a table and be like, aloha.

[Ben]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ronnie]

Have a hang in today.

[Ben]

He needs to. Let me tell you something. So the other night I went to Wagamama, which is like a chain here. And the waiter, when taking our order, what do you have to. There's a big menu and all the dishes are. They have number codes. So you don't just order like the noodles, whatever you order number 71. And so every time you say a number, the waiter sat down at the table and started writing a number on our little paper. Paper placemats. He's like, huh, okay, and what would you like? Okay. And I'll be like, and can I also get a Diet Coke? He's like, the number, please. And I was like, looking over the menu, I'll have the 181. He's like. And he writes it down on the paper. I was like, could you stop sitting at our table, please? But that'd be a perfect job for Jane.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that's how you learn, you know? So he's like, oh, hi, Kathy. What? Kathy Hilton, here in a studio. This is absolutely. What are you in a roll? Oh, my God. Look at the car. Look at Jade. He's a model now because the water. Is he modeling for trash bags? Because that is a trash bag. A man is wearing a trash. I don't understand fashion. Fashion gays are just with people. That is the ultimate in getting bullied. Your whole life is just forcing people to pay you thousands of dollars to wear trash bags. And you know, they go home like, that bullied me in high school.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Now look at her. Literal trash bag.

[Ben]

Yeah. Fashion gays are always pulling some. Some on us. I'll tell you that much. They know. They know. They're like, let's.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

I just feel like every. Every time they go home and they're like, can you believe we actually convinced someone to wear that? We actually made them think that looked good. God, we're so good at this.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, exactly. So let's see that. You know, she gives her the invite and it's wacky. And then now Garcelle does do.

[Ben]

By the way, Garcelle does do a classic Garcelle.

[Ronnie]

What?

[Ben]

As in she goes. When she goes outside and sees the car, Garcelle gives a good old fashioned. What. Which was great.

[Ronnie]

Oh, what? Yeah, I thought you were gonna give a wow.

[Ben]

No, she did just a what this time? Not a wow. But I'm. I'm sure there was a wow that was cut because they usually go Part and parcel.

[Ronnie]

And so then, let's see. Kathy's like, isn't that hysterical? And she's like, are you driving this, Kathy? He'll not count with you. And she's got pillows. She could have sent an evite. She could have sent a messenger. But no, Kathy did it herself. I'm impressed.

[Ben]

I'm impressed. So then Garcelle is. Now we go. Sorry. Kathy now goes off to Dorit's house, and she. She enters in and treats like, winnie, Winnie, please don't bark when Kathy gets here. Don't park. And when he's like, winnie, stop that. So Kathy comes in and she gives another invitation. And Dorita's very, very happy about it.

[Ronnie]

She's like, hello, darling. Phoenix is like, hi. How are you doing? Jagger? I'm Phoenix. Never heard of you. Is this one new? Where'd you get this one?

[Ben]

I heard you barking. That was the dog, Kathy. I'm pretty sure it was your. I was pretty sure it was Jagger, Phoenix.

[Ronnie]

So she passes the suitcase, and of course, Dorit's gonna take the longest because it's Dorit, you know? So she's like, oh, look at here. Not Jagger. It's. It feels heavy. It feels like there's something in here. Look at all these goodies inside. Oh, look at the towel. It's a towel. She did her little squeal.

[Ben]

She does. See the noise? I almost recorded it.

[Ronnie]

I was like, what is wrong? Why can't I. I need to warm up before we do these. Wow. It's a hat. There's a little bit.

[Ben]

Oh, young ladies. So look at this.

[Ronnie]

Is this a hat? Oh.

[Ben]

This is like. You know what I love is that it gives it height. You know, the hat. The hat has its own height. I love that. You know what else I love? You just pack it. You don't have to ruin it. It goes great with tequila. Specifically my tequila. God, I love hats and tequila.

[Ronnie]

It's very big in the south of France. So Dorit puts on the hat and, like, does her catwalk strut. And she's like, I love that kitty chooses a very chanel inspired hat to give me. I love it because it really does go with my chanel bathing suits.

[Ben]

Cut to later in the episode when Dorit is fully wearing a bucket hat on the beach. That's not Kathy's. I was like, really? That's bold.

[Ronnie]

Bold.

[Ben]

Sitting here talking about how much bathing suits.

[Ronnie]

Talk about. She. So Kathy's like, okay, well, think peach, think bright, think fun. Okay, well, thank you, Kathy. Goodbye, sweetheart. Love you. Love you, Kathy. Would you like to hear what BK said? No, not really. Well, I'm very hurt by your assistant. Not really interested.

[Ben]

So then Kathy drives up to Kyle's house, and Kyle's in her kitchen. And she's like, what the hell is that? Kyle has no idea what to do with people that come driving up her driveway. That's something that we discovered last week when they had the prank. And. And she spent, like, 10 minutes wrangling her dogs. Just open up the gate and forgot that there was an a quote unquote Amazon driver out there. And now something's just full on driving up, and she doesn't even understand, like, who it is or what it is. So she's just a disaster.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And so she's like, oh, my God, absolutely not. Now when she sees Kathy in the big car with gifts, and Kathy's like, oh, my God, thank God back here in Wisconsin, at least it's a small town. I can understand.

[Ben]

Kyle's like, why is this looking like some old TV show? And why have I not been casting it? I was on a sitcom on ABC in 1984. Okay, so, like, what is happening?

[Ronnie]

So she gets the invite or the suitcase. And Kathy's like, we're delivering invitations. I've got a banana on Carol's thigh in the. In the car. You want some? She's like, what are you, Beverly Hillbillies? And what is that on Kathy's head? I just don't know what's going on with Kathy. And Carol's like, kyle, I'm starving. Can I just raid your refrigerator? Jesus Christ. You. You don't. You wouldn't know. Having banana peels thrown at your head for an hour and a half really makes a girl hungry. Am I right? Jesus Christ. Do you have any leggings I could borrow or keep? That would be great. Anything for Goodwill. Mauricio left you, right? Are there any mail shirts? I'll take Apollo. I really don't care. I really need a napkin. Just anything, Kyle.

[Ben]

Hey, Kyle, what's the deal with all this beef jerky in your fridge? Oh, that's just a salmon I made last night. Oh. So then Kyle. Kyle's like. She's like, kathy, you look like a whole lamp. And Kathy's like, well, I am a lampshade. I. I don't look good in just every hat, you know? This is just the way I like it, you know? And Kyle's like, yeah, I know the lampshade. It's a good look on you, Kyle. Clearly, you know, clearly they Had a deal where Kathy was like, okay, I'll come back on your show, but you have to let me promote whatever I want to promote without undermining me this time, Kyle. She's like, mine, Kathy.

[Ronnie]

So she sees a little plate on her coffee table. She's like, what a beautiful print, Kyle. Is that a new print, Kyle? Wow.

[Ben]

Kyle's like, isn't it pretty? I'm, you know, I'm actually looking for wallpaper now, and I'm just redoing everything as a distraction. You know, I like doing things. You know, when I. When I have things in my mind, it's a distraction for me, which totally get. I'm not laughing at that. And then Kyle goes, you know, I'm still here in our family home, and Mo has moved on to a bachelor pad, and it's. This is sort of like my way of making it my own and feel like, you know, have a little bit of a fresh start. Even if it's minimal, it's something. I'm like, kyle, you bought a coaster. Relax.

[Ronnie]

She's like, well, she's painting the whole office and stuff. She's going to redo Mo's whole office.

[Ben]

I know, but at this point, she's.

[Ronnie]

Going to be like, he's making this too permanent. You're redoing his office.

[Ben]

I just laughed at. She, like, bought, like, a little coaster, like a tiny little tray that a remote fits on. She goes, I know it's small, but it's like a fresh start.

[Ronnie]

Making my own.

[Ben]

She's like, I found a thimble. I'm making this on my own.

[Ronnie]

So Kathy's like, well, you know, we all need fun and laughs, you know, some fun and games. And so Kyle's like, oh, my. I just hope it's not going to be where we're. Because, like, you know, I was the one that was feeling all right. Now she's turned around. She's turned that around. No, she was the one who was feeling hurt because you ditched her, and you're the one turning it around. And now, like, she's saying, I don't do all these things, but she doesn't have anything solid. You're saying she does all these things, but you don't have anything solid. She's actually got something solid. She bitched her.

[Ben]

Yeah. She has you on Amazon live saying that dorit exaggerated your friendship, and you guys got dinner once in, like, seven years. That's pretty solid. That's a solid complaint. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

She goes, there's just some people who want to See the worst in you. Like, what is she like, reviewers on IMDb?

[Ben]

What is she? Top brass at the Paramount network when it came time to renew American Girl or American.

[Ronnie]

The other one. What's the other one?

[Ben]

Michael Myers.

[Ronnie]

Another one? No, Mike Myers was renewed. I mean, that'll be renewed.

[Ben]

He wants to see the worst in you.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, Mike Myers. It's like Mike Myers just wants to see the worst of you.

[Ben]

She calls him Mike Myers because they work together.

[Ronnie]

Mike. She's like, you know, Mike. So then Kathy's like, well, you know, some things wouldn't have bothered her three years ago, but Dorit was trying to break the ice and be funny. But, you know, Kyle is sensitive, so she took it the wrong way. I'm being nice to Kyle right now, so I'm going to kind of be on her side.

[Ben]

Listen, I don't want it to be weird when I'm there. I just want to go and have fun. Otherwise, what's the point of me going, okay, I have enough on my plate right now. I don't want it to be weird. Although I will bring it up at dinner. So Kathy's like, well, maybe, you know, maybe it becomes a better friendship. And maybe, you know, because this happened to be. Maybe. Maybe because this happened, you'll be able to really help her.

[Ronnie]

That's what Kyle wants to really help do. Yeah, hey, send PK a text while you're bored, Kyle. So she's like, yeah, well, we're gonna go on a trip and pretend everything's great, and we're just gonna relax and have massages and it doesn't matter. That dream. I are ready to kill each other. Welcome to Kathy's crazy holidays. Hunky dory holidays.

[Ben]

Yeah. Kathy's like, well, you need to talk alone. And we look forward to a new chapter. We're gonna see what's in store. And when you do have that fight, please be sure to be wearing my bucket hat. Thanks so much, Kyle.

[Ronnie]

Living the good life. Living the good life. Now we have a Kyle at home scene the next day. Framed photos of Mauricio and Kyle kissing. Mauricio with the kids. Mauricio going down on the Dancing with the Stars ballroom. Wait a minute. How'd that get in there? I read in a comment on Reddit. Love you, Reddit. Last week that when they leave Dancing with the Stars, they are given a picture of them with their ballroom partner, like their professional partner or whatever.

[Ben]

That's nice.

[Ronnie]

And so they were like, so do you think he just put that in his office? Because like, that's where you would put it. And then Kyle's like, oh, my God. He has a picture of the ballroom dancer in his, in his office when.

[Ben]

It was just like a benign, like, hey, congratulations, you were on Dancing with the Stars.

[Ronnie]

It's a parting gift. Yeah. Because the gift, we see this picture at some point, it's not them, like being lovey dovey. It's just them standing next to each other like, hi, you're generic. Dancing with the Star smiles.

[Ben]

Yeah. By the way, congrats to the producers of Dancing with the Stars for repeatedly bringing on Kyle's nemeses onto Dancing with the Stars because Lisa Vanderpump was on there. And then Kyle, remember, had a viewing party to watch her faint on tv. And now Mauricio. So I love that. I love that they are like going after Kyle Richards through their casting choices.

[Ronnie]

They're a Vanderpump fan, whoever it is. Yeah. They're like, next Carlton Gabba. Dancing with the Stars commercials.

[Ben]

Here comes one right now.

[Ronnie]

Have you ever found the house of your dreams only to learn it has dark secrets?

[Ben]

Netflix's new series no good deed follows three families vying to buy a 1920s Spanish style village that they think will solve their problems.

[Ronnie]

But as the sellers discover, sometimes the home of your dreams can be a total nightmare.

[Ben]

No Good Deed, starring Lisa Kudrow and Ray Romano, launches December 12, only on Netflix.

[D]

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[Ben]

So Kyle adjusts the thermostat on the wall and is like, Porsche, I just turned on the oven and mother, that's not the oven. So then Mauricio comes in and oh, hey, God, hey, what's going on?

[Ronnie]

How are you?

[Ben]

What's going on? She's like, oh, hey, what's going on? So they sit down and everything, and they're like, you know, being like, cool. They're like, divorcing, but they're like, civil and like best friends still. So, like, there's like, no tension. Everything's like totally normal, guys.

[Ronnie]

And this is where she's a little bit like, I mean, oh, did. I was hoping you'd come in the other door so you could see how organized everything is, but whatever. Okay, well, okay. Oh, oh. And he's like, oh, you painted the bathroom. She goes, yeah. Do you like it? And he's like, I love it. You do? You do? Are you sure? Are you sure? I don't know what she's doing in this scene.

[Ben]

It's like, super weird. I'm so fucking stoned, I can't tell what color it is right now.

[Ronnie]

I think he looks extremely confused by Kyle because you remember last season when he kept having those scenes and she was like, we're shooting a scene in your office today, Mo, about our love. And he'd be like, okay. And then they get to the office and she's like, you're an asshole and I hate you. He's like, wait, what? And then he would just get this like, look on his face. He'd scrunch his face like he was totally confused. Like, what are you talking about? Like, where is this coming from? And now she's being like, overly like, haha. I mean, look at me painting. I just can't believe I'm so nervous to be around Mauricio now. And he's just looking at her in that same way like, what the fuck are you on about? What are you. What's going on?

[Ben]

He's also has this look on his face, like, what was the color of this room before? He's like, I. I feel like I should know that, but I don't. Wasn't it always this color? So then she's like, yeah, I'm painting. And he's like, that's great. And it's nice, right? Yeah, it looks great. Don't you? Like, do you want to critique it maybe? Do you want to, like, maybe get on the bad side of the audience by being mean to my paint job? No, I think it looks wonderful. Kyle, you're not really helping. So you're supposed to be critical of me and everyone's supposed to understand why I made the choices that I made. No, it looks wonderful. Kyle. You did a Great job.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, well, he seems really happy. I mean, he comes over, I show him something, and he's like, I love the changes.

[Ben]

So.

[Ronnie]

She'S frustrated, like, give me something here. Give me something other than complete confusion on your face. So she's holding patterns of wallpaper against the wall, and he's like, huh, Love them. Love them both. You know which is going to be the best one? Whatever you choose, because you're a good chooser.

[Ben]

Looks great. Looks great. So then they, like. Then they wind up, like, sitting down on the sofa. He takes off, like, his jacket. So he's like, showing off his guns. His guns are popping. Like, you see, like, the vein and everything. This guy's been working out. He's single now, you know, he's ready. So that was his little, like, pun intended, his little flex. Because she's like, look, I painted the bathroom. So moving on. He's like, yeah, well, I got biceps now. So anyway, whatever you want to say, it doesn't really matter.

[Ronnie]

I painted my biceps. I've also got abs. You want to see him? No. So she asked him if he wants to take Romeo, and he's like, no. And she's like, why wouldn't you? And she's like, okay, well, how's your condo? I mean, it's great. It's so awesome. You would love it. Everything's just like. It's never been better. Like, Mr. Happy Go Lucky. Well, this is what happens. You know what? I'm. I'm getting. I'm kind of getting the impression from watching the scene, and I've read this theory before online, but I just started to resonate with me as I was watching it that I think she was probably breaking. She was doing that thing with him where she's like, we are breaking up, hoping that he would show her more attention and stuff or be like, no, don't do this. And then she just kept on it and was serious. And then he finally left. And now she's like, oh, my God, I can't believe. What the hell? What are you moving on for? When she's told him to move on, like, multiple times. And listen, we've all been there.

[Ben]

Yeah. And he's basically. Yeah, he. She's. She is. She is definitely trying to get a reaction out of him, and he's just, like, not doing it at all. And so she's like, you literally, you guys, you have, like, no responsibilities over there. Like, and you're just free as a fucking breeze, aren't you? I'm like, Well, I mean, he is running an enormous real estate company and that's fine. And you're learning how to open up the second door of your French door. So I guess it is pretty even.

[Ronnie]

You almost carried a chair out last week.

[Ben]

So you're right. You are. You do have a lot of responsibility at this house.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, I mean, I'm just like thinking about you in this condo with no dog. Who wanted five dogs? Kyle, who is. Who is trying to build up a house of competition with Vanderpump.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Ronnie]

She's like, here I am in a house with five dogs, one of them extremely fluffy, that I call fluffy Romeo. And a pink swing, swans and many goats. God knows what. She's back.

[Ben]

She just has geese. She has Canadian geese instead of swans. They're called Kanki and Cankel.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, yeah, you and that condo. He's like, oh, you haven't been there yet. Yeah, you gotta check it out. It's like great. You know, it's like a condo. You know, there's stuff. It's like a house, but like not a house. Instead it's a condo. It's crazy. You can just like lock it and leave it. That's what they call it.

[Ben]

So, so then Kyle's like, mo made the decision to sign a six month lease. And I think for Mo saying to give it six months made it like easy to transition from living here to like going to a new place. And then it also gives them us like time to assess where. Where we're at. He's like, I'm gone. That's where I'm at. I'm gone. I'm in a pad banging everything that moves. So that's where I'm at. That's where I've assessed like, oh my.

[Ronnie]

God, I hope I'm not bothering you with the smell of vagina. That's on me. I just couldn't get it off on my way in. Just literally hooked up outside your gates. You know, you have a lot of people waiting out there. There's a really hot Amazon lady.

[Ben]

Well, I just want you to know, Mauricio, while you're busy in your non responsibility condo, Marta, she watched. She walked in. She saw me. She saw me like packing things into your closet. I was hanging up my, my stuff in your closet because you're not there anymore. Marta started crying. He's like, oh, who's Martha? She's like, you know, I think her name is Marta. Is it Sicily? Maybe it's Greta. I don't Know whoever. There was a person. She was crying. She was crying for me, Mauricio.

[Ronnie]

And then I said, you're not crying. I'm crying. And I push you out of the way and turn on the Amazon live. It was. It was actually a really good scene. I saw a lot of leggings that day. He's like, aw. So she's telling us, you live your life, I live my life. Maybe we'll reconvene in six months or so and see what happens. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. He's like, okay, we'll have you talk to Dorit and pk. She's like, oh, you know, me and PK always sending each other, you know, funny memes and jokes and all that stuff. Me and pk, best friends.

[Ben]

You know, me and pk. Even though, like, you know, we never hung out with Dorit and PK very much as a couple, and like, our friendship is, like, wildly over exaggerated, I still decide that I am friends enough with him to send him memes and jokes and stuff like that. So I'm both very good friends with him and not friends with them at all. Yes.

[Ronnie]

So they start talking about PK's place because both of these husbands got divorced or, you know, got dumped. Well, did they both get dumped? I guess PK dumped a re.

[Ben]

Right.

[Ronnie]

But the sober people got sober and then dumped their spouses. And so the guys are just out there partying their faces off, living their best lives. And so they're talking about his place. And Mauricio's like, yeah, it's perfect because he got a furnished place. I mean, he doesn't have to do anything. I mean, now he doesn't only get to stiff people on rent, he also gets to stiff people on furniture rentals. And that's a huge deal for him. You know, he really gets off on that.

[Ben]

And Boy George is very excited that PK has a radiator. So Kyle is like. She's like, you know, I assumed that when Mo got this place that he was going to have it. He was going to have it staged because, you know, it was supposed to be temporary, but he decided to buy the furniture, which, of course is more permanent. So then I thought, okay, well, it doesn't seem very temporary. I'm like, kyle, first of all, you guys are wealthy. So, like, it's sort of like with the Kathy Hilton thing, buying furniture is like nothing to Mauricio. He probably wanted that instead of staging. And second of all, yeah, it is permanent, too. By it's been permanent. Right. I think it's been pretty obvious.

[Ronnie]

Well, but also you're redoing. You're moving into his closet and redoing his office.

[Ben]

So painted the bathroom.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I think buying some furniture. I don't think that's much worse. So then the producer is like, is there any part of you that hopes you guys will get back together? And she's like, I don't want to answer that right now. So, yeah, I think. I think this is going to be their storyline, just getting back together. I just don't buy it. I never believe people will ever get divorced. What?

[Ben]

Yeah. She's like, are you asking me to be open and honest? Because as much as I demand that from every single other person on this show, I unfortunately will have to not do that again for the audience.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I'll have to decline that one. So then she's like, yeah. And Portia said that you bought eight towels total. And he's like, is that not enough? I only use one towel. She's like, well, I mean, I don't know. How many eight. And what kind of eight? Like, how many face towels, how many body towels, how many hand towels? It's like, I'm good. I'm good with towels. I'm a man. There's one for my ass, the same one for my face, the same one for my ears. And then it goes back into my ass. Like, what do you want to know?

[Ben]

I love that Portia is delivering the most important news. Mother, this is what I found out. He bought eight towels. She's like, was there anyone sleeping at his place, though? I don't. I don't know. I only asked about the towels. Portia, you need to ask better questions.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. She's like, we can wash the towels. And she's like, I'll get you guys sheets. Because I know that there's like, you only bought one set of sheets, right? Because I just bought the most expensive ones. Ha ha ha.

[Ben]

Teeth, Chief. Teeth. And then Kyle is like, you know, all of a sudden I'm finding myself not being a wife. And if I'm not a wife and a full time mom or even an actress, a working actress, well, I'm still that. Who am I kidding? But, you know, not having to run around and do anything for everybody. What am I doing? What do I do? I lived a life of service, helping other people, including Kathy, Dorit, Mauricio, all my children, and most people in Beverly Hills. Now, how do I help myself? I don't know what to do. Kyle. Acting like, so Kyle. Oh, God, what do I do if I'm not helping people?

[Ronnie]

Leaves the husband. And then it's like, why am I so bored? So then Marie's. And by the way, I'm not saying he didn't deserve it. I'm just saying we still don't know what he did. We still don't know. After all this goddamn time, I want to know. So then he's like, okay, well, I'm glad I got to see you. So. Oh, by the way, I just wanted to drop this off in my office. Still my office.

[Ben]

Right.

[Ronnie]

So, yeah, okay, go ahead. Wait a minute. Is that a picture of you riding piggyback on your Dancing with the Stars partner? What the hell? Like, yeah, enjoy that.

[Ben]

Is that a picture of eight towels? Yeah, I just wanted to remind you that I only have eight towels.

[Ronnie]

So then Trixie Monocle comes back, and she's like, if it's all right with you, I'm gonna step back and kiss myself. Kiss myself. I'm kissed and bathing. I can step bathing.

[Ben]

Yeah, if it's all right with you, I'm gonna step back and kiss myself. It's a new low for Trixie. So Garcelle is.

[Ronnie]

Trixie's just making out with the back of her elbow. Bend in her arm.

[Ben]

Back corners really bad. So Garcelle is packing, which is as exciting as it sounds. And now Erica is packing, and people are packing, and Trixie's still saying, is it all right with you? Huh? Is it all right with you? As she's, like, making out with her. So then we go to Bose.

[Ronnie]

This show is turning into ladies filming scenes talking about packing with their dogs.

[Ben]

Yeah, well, Bose still has literally all we've got left. Bows has Nico, who is wearing some sort of, like, figure skating top. And Boaz is like, I'll tell you one thing, I don't need the self tanner. The self tanner. You should try it.

[Ronnie]

And then maybe I will. I like that. He's like, maybe I will try it because I'm feeling myself. I'm feeling out. Sorry, I got choked up on my wiener skin. Can we just restart that record? All right, Trixie, take it from the top. Making that with me. I'm making that with me. What, you want to suck cigarettes and coffee?

[Ben]

Hope you don't mind. So then Sutton's looking through her clothing for her packing while Avi watches, and she's like, oh, no, I can't do that. I wore that and I wore that. You can't wear anything anyone's ever seen. You in? That is the kiss of death, by the way. Avi, I like that suit. I like it when you wear it every single Tuesday.

[Ronnie]

I know. He's like, what the hell? You're talking to a bore. So then we go to Jennifer Tilly's home, and she's opening a wooden box on the bed, and she's like, oh, here we go. Poker chips, sage, holy water. All set for oceans.

[Ben]

Oh, God, I love her.

[Ronnie]

And then we go. Lover two, poker chip, sage, holy water.

[Ben]

I mean, the two of us have loved her for so many years, but now that we're getting new reasons to love her, it just makes me love her even more.

[Ronnie]

I just love that she's actually like that because, you know, people aren't always like their characters. I like when they are their characters.

[Ben]

So Dorit FaceTimes. And she's like, hey, you. So I'm like, a bit. I'm a little frazzled leaving for Oceanside and thinking about my kids. My nanny, who's been with me a very long time, she's like family. She'll stay just for two nights since I'll face him with them, you know, Is it going to be safe? Will it be all right? Should I keep an eye out for little trails of Pringles leading outside? What do I do?

[Ronnie]

You're really great, mom to read you don't beat yourself up about it. Everything gonna be fine. Do I get to stop being a nice idiot? This is ridiculous. I can't take much more of this. Please. Jesus Christ. Can we talk about my Porsche made out of poor people's skin? I can't take it, by the way. I'm back.

[Ben]

By the way. I spoke to Cal today, and I said, you know, that bravo con thing to me, doesn't strike me as something that was planned or malicious. Unlike me, what I did to you that time.

[Ronnie]

Remember that?

[Ben]

That was hilarious at Bravocon. And then we see again the clip for, like, the 10th time. Which sister. Which Richard sister is your least favorite? And then Kyle spill causes Doritos spill on herself. And Dorit says, well, right now it's Kyle and Kathy's the best and the smoking gun for Kyle.

[Ronnie]

It's hilarious. It's a stupid clip is played every single week. That means nothing. So Erica's like, could you hear? No, but not on purpose. Sure. Do I think he did it on purpose? No, I do not. Did I get a new car that you're still not asking me about? I did. Is it one with money? No, it's not. Is it least I don't know. Did Tom buy it? Hell, though, did the Rush Limbaugh look alike who's been in love with me ever since he did business with Tom 30 years ago? By probably. What are we talking about? Dorit. I'm exhausted. Also, I love that Dorit's acting like she's never left her kids for overnight trips. She's like me, just a stay at home mother. How could I let them go? I'm still feeding. Okay, it's very difficult for you. I'm a single mother now. Okay, well, hasn't PK been gone for a year?

[Ben]

I know. Pretty much. Coyle has asked me out so many times over the last few years, has iced me out. Not asked me out. She's. She's actually iced me out so many times. Not once, not twice, not thrice, not four eyes, not five eyes. All right, Dorit, the point is, it's a pattern. It's a pattern. It happened after her fashion show in New York City. And then we see a montage of all the times Kyle yells at Dorit over the past several years.

[Ronnie]

That one in Colorado was really crazy. I forgot about that one. When she said one thing to stick up. For who? Erica or no, Kathy. And then Kyle's like, oh, my God, I don't care. He's screaming at her, sobbing. Okay, I know.

[Ben]

Kyle's such a spoiled brat.

[Ronnie]

Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[Ben]

Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Al Dawson King it's always automatic with Ashley Auto.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Ain'T no shrinking violet couture. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappins. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear and T shirts. Warning, Bombas are so absurdly comfortable, you may throw out all your other clothes. Sorry, do we legally have to say that? No, this is just how I talk. And I really love my bombas. They do feel that good. And they do good, too. One item purchased equals one item donated. To feel good and do good, go to bombas.com wondry and use code wondry for 20% off your first purchase. That's b o m b a s.com wondry and use code wondry at checkout.

[C]

Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls, the Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittany Broski and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery App, Spotify or Apple Podcasts.