#2646 Southern Charm S10E01: No Cane, No Gain

Summary

Episode #2646: Southern Charm Season 10, Episode 1 – "No Cane, No Gain"

Introduction In this premiere episode of Southern Charm Season 10, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam of the Wondery podcast Watch What Crappens dive deep into the latest drama unfolding in Charleston. Titled "No Cane, No Gain," the episode explores the tumultuous relationships and personal struggles of the show's cast members, particularly focusing on Shep, JT, Austin, and Vanita.

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1. _Shep’s Downfall and Ayahuasca Journey_** The episode opens with Ben and Ronnie discussing Shep's dramatic attempt to transform himself through an ayahuasca retreat in Costa Rica. Shep claims to have found healing and visions that have supposedly fixed his personal issues. However, Ben and Ronnie are highly skeptical of Shep's newfound enlightenment.

• Notable Quote:
  • Shep [07:11]: "I've grown. I went down to South America and tried ayugarshka, and now I've had visions. I'm healed."

Ben criticizes Shep for not making substantial changes despite his claims, highlighting that his participation in a psychedelic retreat hasn't translated into meaningful personal growth.

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2. _JT’s Continued Struggles and Victim Mentality_** JT, another central figure, is portrayed as struggling to maintain sobriety and healthy relationships. He recently quit Southern Charm but still lingers due to unfinished business. The hosts express frustration over JT's inability to take responsibility for his actions, noting his tendency to play the victim.

• Notable Quote:
  • Ben [12:07]: "It'll be fascinating watching JT's downward spiral this season because... he just gonna spiral out of control."

Ronnie emphasizes JT's pattern of destructive behavior and his reliance on others to resolve his personal crises rather than taking proactive steps.

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3. _Austin’s Relationship Rollercoaster_** Austin is depicted as perpetually stuck in a cycle of unstable relationships. His latest girlfriend, Audrey, is significantly younger, raising eyebrows among the hosts. Ben and Ronnie mock Austin's inability to commit and his penchant for superficial relationships.

• Notable Quote:
  • Ronnie [25:04]: "How do you want to feel? I care about what's inside Madison. Okay, what do you want to see Come out?"

Austin's relationship dynamics are scrutinized, particularly his interactions with multiple women and his reluctance to define his relationships clearly.

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4. _Craig’s Sobriety and Business Acumen_** Craig stands out as the most stable member of the group. He has made strides toward sobriety and is focusing on his business ventures. Ben and Ronnie commend Craig for his efforts to distance himself from the chaos, but also express doubts about his ability to maintain long-term stability.

• Notable Quote:
  • Ronnie [37:30]: "That's all I needed. You know what? That's what I want you to put on my gravestone. Correct."

Craig's journey is contrasted sharply against Shep and JT's struggles, showcasing a potential pathway to redemption amidst the surrounding turmoil.

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5. _Madison and Molly’s Dynamic_** Madison and her friend Molly navigate their own subplot involving modeling careers and personal insecurities. Molly's fluctuating weight due to a thyroid condition impacts her modeling opportunities, leading her to seek affection from older men like Whitney. The hosts critique the exploitation and superficiality within these relationships.

• Notable Quote:
  • Ben [44:00]: "I'm a model obsessed with food. I'm into this storyline."

Their interactions highlight the pressures faced by women in reality TV to maintain certain physiques and the lengths they go to secure their status on the show.

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6. _Shep’s Unresolved Issues and Group Tensions_** Shep attempts to mend relationships with Austin and Craig, but his methods come off as manipulative and insincere. The hosts point out Shep's failure to acknowledge his shortcomings genuinely, instead opting for grandiose apologies that lack substance.

• Notable Quote:
  • Ben [57:40]: "I was setting a boundary, okay. And I also asked a girl out on a date to find a relationship. I'm like a grown up now, Chef."

This section underscores the recurring theme of failed communication and the inability of cast members to move past their personal baggage.

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7. _Final Revelations and Host Reflections_** As the episode wraps up, Ben and Ronnie reflect on the overarching narratives of Southern Charm, emphasizing the destructive behaviors that plague the cast. They express a mix of frustration and amusement at the unfolding drama, contemplating the future trajectories of the main characters.

• Notable Quote:
  • Ronnie [82:53]: "JT is not looking good for JT, you know."

The hosts conclude with a critical yet entertained perspective on the show's ability to continuously generate captivating, albeit cringeworthy, content.

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Conclusion Episode #2646 of Watch What Crappens offers a scathing yet humorous analysis of Southern Charm's Season 10 premiere. Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dissect the flawed dynamics and personal downfalls of key cast members, painting a vivid picture of the ongoing drama in Charleston. Through sharp wit and candid commentary, the hosts provide listeners with an insightful and entertaining recap that underscores the inevitable chaos of reality television.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Shep [07:11]: "I've grown. I went down to South America and tried ayugarshka, and now I've had visions. I'm healed."
• Ben [12:07]: "It'll be fascinating watching JT's downward spiral this season because... he just gonna spiral out of control."
• Ronnie [25:04]: "How do you want to feel? I care about what's inside Madison. Okay, what do you want to see Come out?"
• Ronnie [37:30]: "That's all I needed. You know what? That's what I want you to put on my gravestone. Correct."
• Ben [44:00]: "I'm a model obsessed with food. I'm into this storyline."
• Ben [57:40]: "I was setting a boundary, okay. And I also asked a girl out on a date to find a relationship. I'm like a grown up now, Chef."
• Ronnie [82:53]: "JT is not looking good for JT, you know."

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Upcoming Content and Support Ben and Ronnie tease their upcoming Mounting Hysteria tour starting in January 2025, covering numerous North American cities. They encourage listeners to support the podcast through their Patreon for exclusive content, video recaps, and access to their Discord server. Additionally, they highlight their next bonus episode, “Sold on SLC,” available exclusively on Patreon.

Join the Conversation: Support Watch What Crappens and gain access to premium content by visiting www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Keep up with their latest episodes on the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more.

Transcript

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

There's more to imagine when you listen.

[Ben Mandelker]

I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again because I last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible.

[Ronnie Karam]

Especially when it's told by a full cast like that, like it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know, that's major. Go to audible.com crap ins and discover all the years best waiting for you. That's audible.com crappins have you ever found the house of your dreams only to learn it has dark secrets?

[Ben Mandelker]

Netflix's new series no Good Deed follows three families vying to buy a 1920s Spanish style villa that they think will solve their problems.

[Ronnie Karam]

But as the sellers discover, sometimes the home of your dreams can be a total nightmare.

[Ben Mandelker]

No Good Deed, starring Lisa Kudrow and Ray Romano, launches December 12, only on Netflix. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo. That we just love, love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today, Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

[Ronnie Karam]

Hello.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hi.

[Ronnie Karam]

Hi.

[Ben Mandelker]

You having a nice day? Having a nice Friday.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, it's Friday. You know, we've got more problematic Southern men on TV and some more, some new women to worry about and call the police about on Southern Charm. Say, please guard this person because these men are about to use this woman and spit her out. Okay? Please get to Charleston and help a girl named Molly who already seems like she's on the goddamn brink. Okay. Please get over there and help this woman.

[Ben Mandelker]

Help her. Yeah, we're talking.

[Ronnie Karam]

I feel good. Southern Charm is on. So I'm in neighborhood watch mode. Party. It's my favorite. I can just sit at my window eating popcorn and looking for bad people so I can call the police.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. We are back. It's a new season of Southern Charm. We've got the premiere that we're going to recap in just a moment. In case you are just tuning in today because you were not listening to the Real Housewives content, we are going back out on tour. It's the Mounting Hysteria tour. It's starting in 2025. It's starting next month in January. We're going all across North America, many, many dates over the first few months of the year. And real quickly, let me just tell you some of the cities and then we'll get on into it. But we're going to San Francisco, San Diego, New York City for the golden crappies. Don't want to miss that. Salt Lake City, Denver, Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, D.C. philadelphia, Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, and Dallas. We are hoping to add in some more cities. If you don't hear your city like, you know, there's a chance that it will get added at a later date, but we are really excited and go to watch our crapons.com to get tickets. We are hoping to see a whole bunch of familiar faces that we've gotten to know on the road over the past few years and new faces as well. And tell you your friends and family and tell anyone you want to tell. Tell your pets, bring your pets. I don't care. But we will see you there on the road.

[Ronnie Karam]

Do it. Also sold on SLC is a new Bravo show that we're doing exclusively on Patreon. So go over there to listen to that recap. It's fun. And that's also where you get videos. What's wrong right now? So, hi, and welcome back, Southern Charm people who only Listen to Southern Charm. We've missed you. Okay. We're hotter than ever. Okay, so let's start with a new season of Southern Charm. Let's see what Shep is lying about this year. About making himself Shep version 10.0. Because this is season 10. It's all a lie. Don't fall for it. Shep has done nothing to help himself but go away and do drugs for four days. So don't believe him.

[Ben Mandelker]

No. Hey, I've grown. I went down to South America and tried ayugarshka, and now I've had visions. I'm healed.

[Ronnie Karam]

Karskali. I'm just a man. So here we go. We start at Madison and Bret's home. You know, God bless Madison for having enough charisma to pull this off, because this man is, like, dating a coaster. He's like, not a roller coaster, like a tea coaster, just a coaster that sits there and you're like, why is there a coaster on this table? He's so boring, and it's, like, so cute, but literally looks like an unanimated Lego person.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, ouch.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's so cute. But, like, does he ever talk or move or do anything?

[Ben Mandelker]

Just. Just a. Just a classic. A Lego classic. Lego person classic. Just not moving, just there.

[Ronnie Karam]

I get that. Because, you know, when you see a Lego movie or something, they're so cute, and it's like, oh, my God, they have so much charisma. But then you see them in the stores and you're like, oh, how'd you ever become popular? Like, you don't do anything.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, yeah, he. I mean, you know, he's a classic, you know, hot guy, you know, not always a lot in terms of the personality, but he is there, and they are cooking breakfast together, and he's like, what else do you want me to do? And she's like, just sit there and look pretty. Be born for corn, you know, and then they hug and stuff.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then we go to Shep's house. It is time for the annual Shep in the shower scene. Nobody wants to see this. Okay. Every year, Shep needs to get naked for the camera. Now, this time, he is kind of a V because he's been working out. So that's great. Yeah, put it away, boy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, those buttocks. Those buttocks are out once again. And then we go over to Taylor's house, and she's FaceTiming with her boyfriend, Gaston. And Gaston we heard about on two separate shows last year, Southern charm and Southern hospitality. So Gaston has been making the rounds but now he is finally arrived on TV. So she's FaceTime with Gaston and she tells him his haircut looks nice and he's like with the hat on.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Because he's wearing a baseball cap. She's like, your hair looks good. Which is so Taylor, you know. And I can't with a man this thirsty. First of all, he's trying to get on two shows at one time. And second of all, his parents named him Gaston. I mean, I know that means I should hate his parents and I know there's people in the world named Gaston that don't have anything to do with Beauty and the Beast, but he does. You know that he was named. His mom got pregnant in the back lot of a Cinemark and named him Gaston. I can't, sorry.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just need to know who's naming their children Gaston these days. That's all I want to know. I want to know the thought process. I want the behind the actor studio on the name Gaston in 2024.

[Ronnie Karam]

They're girls with really oily hair and Mickey Mouse ears. Tramp stamped onto their lower back.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I think that's fair. And then we go to Austin's house. It's insane. Right now he's picking up an outfit and Craig comes in and he's saying he's concerned Shep won't have a hair dryer's house. Cuz they're. What we find out is that they're going for like a little bro. A brocation at Shep's country house or something. So it's family house. So he's worried that there won't be a. A blow dryer at Shep's house. Which I think is a fair concern. I don't think that there will be one there. That is correct.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And. Or a comb really.

[Ben Mandelker]

Or anything pertaining to hygiene.

[Ronnie Karam]

Or any people from the family actually doing any work will. It will be straight up, you know, indentured servants at this point.

[Ben Mandelker]

Gar. Yeah, yeah. So they're not allowed to say yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

They'Re going to go out there. And Austin's like when I go on road trip to the crack. Craig always drives like if I'm an amateur psychologist, it's probably a control thing. First of all, get some control and put your tongue in your mouth. How is your tongue still out of your mouth after all these years? Learn to control it. Go to a class. You know what I mean? Put your tongue in your mouth, sir.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's because you drive your car by using your tongue to control the stick shift. Craig Is like, I'm not going to abide by this any longer.

[Ronnie Karam]

And it's because whenever he drives, the windshield wipers keep coming on because they sense the spit hitting the window.

[Ben Mandelker]

Craig has a much simpler reason that has nothing to do with psychology. He's like, I'm always driving because my friends are always drunk, right? So that explains a lot. Although, is Craig not drunk? Although I guess he says he's not drinking anymore. But like, Craig definitely has put in some time being pretty drunk, driving those golf carts around Charleston.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then Craig pulls away with the trunk open and goes the wrong way down a one way road. Which just goes to show you, being sober doesn't necessarily make you smarter. Okay. Sometimes it just makes you smell less like Bartles and James.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Is that still a thing that people still drink? Bartles and James?

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't think so. But I'd like that you keep it alive by mentioning it every so often. Because I remember those commercials. There was like the chubby guy and the tall guy, right? And they had like a dead pan delivery. It's a great commercial and I love them. But either way, Craig is a terrible driver. No one's really a good driver on this, on this show. I feel like every single season someone's getting into a fender bender, right? I feel like that's. It's even in the trailer this season for Patricia. Even Patricia crashes her car this week.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, they don't care. That's what happens when you're, like, rich and you've got, like history in a town. The companies, you know, the police. The company might as well be. The police are just like, go ahead. I knew your dad. All right?

[Ben Mandelker]

I also feel like they. They do their driving tests on horse drawn carriages in Charleston. All right? Parallel park. So they, they're just used to different vehicles.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then we go to JT and Vanita. Okay? This season is going to trigger me. I'm telling you right now. I can already tell this was a pretty tame episode, but I was getting triggered left and right. This is really going to bother me, this JT and Vanita thing. I can't take it. I already can't take it. Why are you debasing yourself like this? Vinita, I get that you want to be on a TV show. I get that they probably told you you need to actually do something this year besides have a pretend boyfriend in another city. I get it. This is not the thing to do. Please, anything else. Rob a bank? I mean, I don't care. Trip an old person and get in trouble, you know, slap somebody, throw a drink on somebody, you know, start a fight. I do not care. But dating JT is where I draw the line.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it'll be fascinating watching JT's downward spiral this season because in case you missed it, he officially quit Southern Charm. Like, with. He still had like two weeks of pickups to do or two more interview sessions, which, by the way, like, really, sir, finish your job. Just do it. You know, I really enjoyed JT last season. I thought he was a great addition. But the one. His. I thought his most toxic trait last season was that there were some times where he thought his shit was more hilarious than it really was. And you can see he was like really leaning into shtick. Like the time he's flopping around in a river. And my fear, which I think is totally come true, is that this season, since he had a little bit of wind in his sails, he was just gonna like double down and all that stuff. Be like, people love this, right? So I think we're gonna see him trying to do that. It's not gonna land and he's going to just spiral out of control and it's. It'll be fascinating to watch.

[Ronnie Karam]

So he. Oh, and he also launched. Soft. Launched a new girlfriend who's not Vanita on Instagram, right around the time that he had a fit and left. And then the girl's sister was like, what the. And people are like, this isn't even his girlfriend. Like, what is he doing? It's like announcing. And this is. I'm just reading this all from comments, so I have no idea what the truth is, but he's a disaster, this guy. So he's. They go to a store to do some shopping because they, you know, there's that one store that they all go to. The guy. Well, there's the. It's called the Catherine store. What's that one called?

[Ben Mandelker]

We call it Gwyn's, but it's. I don't even remember what it's really called.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's Gwen.

[Ben Mandelker]

It is Gwyn's.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, yeah, but we call the. We call the girl who works our wins and that's not her name.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, yeah. This store is like, I say Assay and Son's habitashery.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, this is like where you get your silk haberdasheries and your silk. You know, what do you call those things that you put on your neck, like a cravat?

[Ben Mandelker]

An ascot.

[Ronnie Karam]

An ascot, yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Like every. Every single season they come in here to get like a tuxedo blazer. I'm like, what are you guys doing with your tuxedo blazers? Why you always need a new one? But they always come in here and then that guy out, and he's like, well, I say, I say, I say, is it Tom for a new blazer? You're like, every single time. And then they have a whole scene.

[Ronnie Karam]

And JT is like, limping in on cane. And I love the south because they just openly make fun of people with canes. It's like, just. There's no line there where they're like, hey, you know, someone's with the cane. Maybe we shouldn't make fun of them. They're just like, what is the kind of part of the outfit, you damn Yankee, I never met your daddy. Where's he from?

[Ben Mandelker]

And yet, at the same time, the south is also where I feel like they really appreciate a cane with an outfit. Well, that's true.

[Ronnie Karam]

Maybe he's not even making fun of it. Maybe he's just like, oh, is that part of your outfit? I love that. You want to see mine? Hey, you want to have a cane fight? I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think you have to go through, like, some cane hazing before it can be part of your outfit. So it's a little bit of both. A little. It's like, appreciation and ridicule. Jt, jt, he tells a story. He's like, I went to Costa Rica, and I'm going down the mountain in an atv. And I'm like, I don't need to hear the rest of the story. I see you have a limp. You mentioned atv. If you want any sympathy for me, you're not going to get it, because I don't know how many people have to break their necks on ATVs before people have to realize, don't drive ATVs. You're stupid.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, well, someone who just got dragged down his own hill on his Vespa and almost lost a leg, that was basically my story. This was. JT was living my story, where I was just so embarrassed to even tell everybody. I'm like, oh, my God, whatever. I slowed down the hill. Let's not talk about it. Because, you know, people are just like, you idiot, I told you not to write that thing. And that's what he's suffering from right now. And you know his stories. He's just so pathetic. And at this point, I'm wondering if he's just leaning into that part or if he just gets off on that. You know, like, we Were talking this week about somebody who's just into the apologizing part. So that's why they're mean to everybody, because they get off on apologizing. Who was that? It was just this week. It doesn't matter. Just so we're talking about, like, apology kinks. And now I think this guy has a being pathetic kink because, huh. It was Gary, Gary, Gary on Below Deck Sailing. Yes. So this guy is really into just being pathetic and having people laugh at him because he could have told a story like, I was on an atv, I was in Costa Rica. I saw an animal, I swear I wanted to save that baby kangaroo and I flipped over and I could have died. I almost lost a leg. And that's it. But instead he tells this story. He's like, yeah, I was in Costa Rica. Uh oh, I was going down a mountain and I hit a little dirt drift and then, you know, projected pretty far down the side of a mountain. And I'm lying there on the ground and there's blood everywhere. And I look up and the ATVs rolling down and it pins my leg under it and I'm trapped and I'm screaming and I'm like, am I going to lose a leg? That's where you should end it. So he goes. So I get to the doctor and he said, you're not going to die. And then we see a picture and there's like barely even a breeze on his leg. There's no blood sporting everywhere. And then he goes, yeah, I guess it wasn't that bad, but it hurt. I was like, just end in the beginning. Why do you have this kink that you want us to mock you?

[Ben Mandelker]

Dude, a real reality star would have chopped off his own leg and told, you know, that's what you do. That's how you create a storyline okay, for another season, you know. So Vanita's holding his cane and he's trying unclose Vanita's like, well, the first time JT and I bonded was when we were in Jamaica. And ever since then, we talk every day, which is kind of wild, but I feel like we're just really close. Also, he's the only one on this cast who seems to acknowledge that I'm on the show, so I just gotta take what I can get.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. She's like, he's the only person that talks to me. So basically I call him every day now. And then we see them bonding in Jamaica and they're sitting on the beach together and they're like, wow, look there's water. He's like, yeah, that's pretty watery. She's like, wow. Can I have your number?

[Ben Mandelker]

So JT's like, you can't teach chemistry or how to drive an atv, apparently. So it's either there or it's not. Now, same goes for legs. And it's there. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

By the way, who wants to tell them that you can teach chemistry? There are literally chemistry teachers. I mean, I know the education system's gone downhill in this country, but it's literally a class.

[Ben Mandelker]

My 10th grade teacher, Mr. Johnston, may want to have a word with you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Mr. Johnson's whipping out his cane. He's like, oh, yeah? You want a piece of me, bitch? Get over here. K.

[Ben Mandelker]

I guess I. I guess I just happened to figure out that you can create peppermint in a science lab. There was no teacher involved with that.

[Ronnie Karam]

So JT says, for the Carolina Cup, I rented a party bus. Are you in? And she's like, yeah, I guess. And then he drops his cane, and she's like, now how are you going to pick that up? And he's like, good call. I guess that was dumb. I guess I need help picking it up. God, this is hot.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Vanita picks it up and she's like, well, the Carolina cup is technically a horse race, but it's really like a Lily Pulitzer fashion show. And all the girls have the biggest hats. I'm like, going to Starbucks in Charleston is a Lily Pulitzer fashion show. What thing on Southern charm has not been that?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So the producer is like, so do you have any memories from there? She's like, no.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, I was too lit.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, season three, Bonita's really swinging for the rafters. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ben Mandelker]

This was. I. I forgot. Like, I forgot about this reunion. That's really where he squandered all the goodwill, because you can go back. You can listen. I was a big JT Booster. I mean, Lord knows he needs a little bit of a booster seat, doesn't he? But I was always like, you know, I really like this guy. I like that he stands up to Austin, and maybe it's performative, but I still appreciate that he's doing it regardless. But the reunion is where he started to really lose me, because it was too much like, he was really, like, leading into some sort of character instead of just being real. And. And it's like you came in, like, potentially with, like, a winning hand. You stood up to Austin on a chair, but you stood up to him, and then you came in and just sort of, like, ruined it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

JT and then what did you do.

[Ronnie Karam]

Jt and then what did you.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then what? Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they're talking about having to see people, and she's like, so, are you gonna speak to them? And he's like, well, I can't just be there and be, like, not speak to him. So I'm gonna think of something wacky to do, maybe get some props.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So JT Is saying that, like, he. He's like. He's not thrilled. He wasn't thrilled with Austin's behavior last year, but he feels like the message really land. His message really landed with Austin. I'm like, I guarantee you, no message has ever landed with Austin in the history.

[Ronnie Karam]

Austin's not listening to those messages.

[Ben Mandelker]

No.

[Ronnie Karam]

And so he's like, I just want to take the hot road here. You just crashed. You know what I mean?

[Ben Mandelker]

Don't. Don't get on the road. No roads. Stay literally on a low road. He's like, I want.

[Ronnie Karam]

You should be like, I want to take the bus here and say, hey, almost died. I don't care if you're toxic. I'm good now. And Vanita's like, yeah, life's Too short. And he's. And he's like, yeah, ouch. Life is too short. No pun intended, you know, because really, just not winning. Return of phrases today.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's hard. It's really hard. So now we go to Austin and Craig in the car on the way to Shep's, I think, and. And Austin calls his. He has a new girlfriend named Audrey. She's a plant. It's really awkward. It's the strangest crossover I've ever saw. But they say, hello. And Austin is like, hey, so I was just calling to check in on the drive. And she's like, yeah, hey, how much do you. How much longer do you all have? He's like, probably an hour 40 is insane to drive. Shep wants us to meet him at his farmhouse. Dude, that's what we're gonna do. It's insane.

[Ronnie Karam]

And she's like, okay, have fun. Talk to you soon. Now, in a shocking development, Austin's new girlfriend looks like a child and way out of his league at whatever age he looks like he has. And I say this often about this cast because this is the only cast that really looks like this. The cast of men. I mean, they really do look like in a murder show, when somebody has been murdered and then thrown into the water and then left there for a week. And then you come back, and they're just. Their skin is all bloated and crazy. That's what they look like, except pink and orange instead of being white. And he does look like that. He looks pickled. And this girl looks like she's in high school now. I looked her up, and she's only 11 years younger, which actually isn't that terrible. But he better cling to this show, because there is no way in hell an unemployed guy who still is trying to pedal beer that his dad bought him would ever get this girl.

[Ben Mandelker]

No. No. And he's looking more and more like George Washington out of his wig. And I just don't understand why any of these girls are into it. If you really look at. If you really look at Austin, he really. He really kind of has some George Washington going on.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's funny.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's Fozzie Bear. So he says, yeah, I met Audrey last summer. She lives in Charlotte. We've been officially dating for three months and officially been cheating on her for two months. So he says, you know, typically, my move is just to be, like, you know, hang out with someone a bunch and, like, not define it, because I'm, like, too chicken shit to say anything. But, like, with Audrey. Like, I'm like. I'm like, I'm the one that actually brought up. So I was like, we should define the relationship. Insane. I'm like, you don't get any trophies for doing the bare minimum in the bare minimum and expected step in a relationship when you've been seeing someone for three months. Like, congratulations, you did what everyone else does.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, but that's a big step for Austin because he never defines the relationship, right? So he's like, I defined the relationship, so now I know who. Now I'm. Now I'm technically cheating on somebody, which is, like, a huge step for me. I can't say we were on a break. Now it's technically cheating, guys.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, he realized. He realized he could add something to his arsenal, which is that when he gets accused of being immature, he'd be like, what are you talking about? I was the one who said I wanted to be in a relationship in the first place. I do want this.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, you know, whatever.

[Ronnie Karam]

I said it in a confessional where it really matters. So then we see a flashback to where Austin is talking to Audrey, and he's like, how's my little pookie monster? And she's like, tired. And then they can't see. I bet she says that a lot. Hey, babe. How you feeling tonight? Tired. You want to make love tired? Can I get on top of you? Tired. Can I just breathe on you? Tired.

[Ben Mandelker]

Can I get a what? What? Tired. You know what? He is exhausting, so I get it. And so then he goes, yeah, we have a lot of nicknames. There's Pooks. There's Pookie Monster, Pookopotamus. I'm like, maybe give her, like, a nickname that's, like, more flattering. He's like, puka bottom monster. Like, pookie dog. It's like. Like Puka the puka poop. I don't know. Puka sloth, Pukadillo.

[Ronnie Karam]

Puka booger, Puka noceros, Puka vomit.

[Ben Mandelker]

Puka feces, Puka fart, Puka sludge.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's just so weird to tell people, like, hey, this is my girlfriend. This is my girlfriend, Audrey, because she still takes her lunch to school, you know? But for me, like, it's a big step. It's a big step. And then Craig's like, I love that. We're just, like, right in the middle of nowhere. I have a business.

[Ben Mandelker]

I was like, yeah, we're on this road for 30 miles. I feel like everywhere is the middle of nowhere. After you leave Charleston, I Don't know. So. And we say that as people who did venture out of Charleston. So now we cut to Shep, and he's arriving at his family farm, and Tommy is there. He's the farm manager. He's like, oh, gosh. Gosh, there's a race tomorrow. Hold on. I'm having an Aya Garshka vision. Tommy, you're in danger. You're gonna spill coffee tomorrow.

[Ronnie Karam]

Sorry.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm getting all these visions now that I've done ayahuasca. Anyway, Craig and Austin are on their way. Look at the. Oh, my God. What am I going to wear, a white limb suit? Check this out, Tommy. Tommy's like, I don't. I don't care. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Tommy's like, please pay me. Please pay me my $5 a week so I can go to bed. And Shep gives us the lowdown on this place, which, you know, if you're not feeling uncomfortable with this, you really haven't read history, but here's Shep. My family's farm is in Boykin, South Carolina, which is like a one minute drive to the Carolina cup. Boykin is my family on my dad's side, so the town is named after them.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they've got a whole town named after the other side of his family. King George III granted the Boykins the land in 1780 something. So my dad has a deep connection and love for it. Do you even have to pay property taxes on it? This is not fair.

[Ben Mandelker]

Isn't there a literal movie called the Madness of King George?

[Ronnie Karam]

Literally.

[Ben Mandelker]

I feel like the moment that the king's court realized he'd lost his mind is like. He's like, hello, everyone. I've given some land to a man who says garsh all the time. Sir Garsh Goshington of Boykin, America.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Our king has lost it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Were at the Boykin family slave owners. Yes, they were. So there you go.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I mean.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, I guess you could probably pick any family, any family line on this show out, but. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I mean, that's. I think that's what we're all thinking. Like, Yeah. I feel like there's more to this story, Shep.

[Ronnie Karam]

So aren't we lucky we got gifted this in the 1780s? I'm like, yep, sure. You built all of that yourself there? Looks great.

[Ben Mandelker]

And what.

[Ronnie Karam]

Your great grandpa did a great job building this house on his own.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sure.

[Ronnie Karam]

He. Sure he paid really fairly for labor over there.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Some papers.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, it's been in your family for like 200 and something years and look at and now and to show for it, they have you.

[Ronnie Karam]

They have you shit faced telling an employee how much you're not the floor this time and expecting a gold medal for it. But yeah, he's out there in the Boykin house and Tommy's just like, oh, still in the. So you still got the teeth you found in the upper drawer, huh? These are my grandpa Tommy Boykins teeth.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Shep is like, gosh, yeah, I went to Costa Rica and I did ayahuasca. I told you about it. Did you ever look it up on YouTube? You know what the Internet is? Do we give? Do we allow you to have the Internet? Anyway, I'm just recalibrating now. That's so many visions.

[Ronnie Karam]

Wow, I love that. Tommy's like, sure did. Sure looked it up on YouTube. Watched a lot of videos about ayahuasca and Tommy's just probably googled, you know, ayahuasca. How long does it take to kill a person? How much does one need to overdose on ayahuasca?

[Ben Mandelker]

How do you get someone who's high on ayahuasca to pay you more? Tricks and tips.

[Ronnie Karam]

Tommy is planning on killing his ass immediately.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Shep is like, yeah, what happened in Las Vegas was very sobering, no pun intended. So we see footage of him being wasted at Bravocon and he's like, I was out of Bravocon. I was out of control. And the nine other seasons of Southern Charm. But that's fine. We can focus on Bravocon.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, yeah. Ayahuasca's like three years of therapy in one day. So he's talking about how.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just ask Jesse Lolly.

[Ronnie Karam]

Exactly. The other. The other piece of man this year who's like, I'm really going to get in charge of myself by going to take drugs on a drug trip with a bunch of other dudes. And it really worked. Worked out great.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think. I think though, for Shep, he takes a different variant called Ayu Waspa. It's for people of his.

[Ronnie Karam]

I just saw visions of ascots, paisley's stripes. It was crazy gorsh.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm so much better at golf now. I had a real breakthrough.

[Ronnie Karam]

I knew something had to change, so I went to Costa Rica for a psychedelic retreat. It was so powerful. And you know, I've been back and it's not perfect because I've been doing things one way for so long. You can't just change it. Go to rehab, bro. Like when you're that blackout drunk and you're falling down, going to do Drugs on a routine. And look, I know people. We're gonna get emails from people who are like, ayahuasca saved my son's life. Okay? Okay, great. I'm not saying it can't help. I've been a person who's been helped by psychedelics. I've had my life changed by psychedelic. Literally have. I'm not even making a joke. I can see the power in that. It does not make you sober, okay? And it does not change your life to the degree where you're this up of a person and an addict. And it's not just drinking every once in a while. It's drugs. It's drinking. It's everything else. You don't go. Just go away for a drug retreat, and just because it's not coke, you're suddenly healed, okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

But on the other hand, you could just do ayahuasca and be rich and be like, I'm fixed.

[Ronnie Karam]

In which case, why even bother getting sober? Like, stop even lying. Like, that's my thing about it. You know what I mean? I would appreciate. There was someone in my family. I've told this story and named this person before, but I'm gonna leave their name out of it this time because I've grown. But we asked her to stop drinking, and she was so offended. And we're like, you're literally drunk. You threw a bowl of soup at a restaurant last week. Like, you literally need to quit drinking. And so she did. She became miserable. This is normal. Because it takes a while to acclimate and get out of your system. But it lasted, I think, a week and a half. And she got so miserable, and she called a meeting, and she said, listen, everybody, I appreciate you guys caring, but I don't give a fuck. I have made it this far in life, and I've worked my whole life, and at this point, I want to be drunk every day, and I'm going to be. And if you guys don't like that, then you should never come over or call me again. And I was like, you know what? Respect. And to this day, no one has ever brought this up to this person again because what are you going to do? And at least they respected it, you know? And Shep's not. He's going to just try and win all of this. He's putting a victim cloak on where he was drawn. He was in a bad place, so now he's a victim, and everybody has to be nice to him. You don't get to do that when you're not making any changes. Sir, sorry. Victim cloak denied.

[Ben Mandelker]

But luckily, he has employees who have to tell him that he's changing because Shep is like, I'm trying to be healthy. And Tommy's like, it's working. It's working. Oh, gosh, I appreciate that. Thank you so much, employee, for telling me that my one night of ayahuasca has fixed all my sobriety.

[Ronnie Karam]

Do you know how disappointed Grant great granddaddy Boykin is up in. In hell heaven? Just looking down on this or up at this and thinking this little. I worked zero days in my life to afford this man a perfect life, and now he ain't even drinking every day. Get out of my house, Boykin.

[Ben Mandelker]

I didn't put whiskey in a barrel for 400 years and say, open this up on March 3, 2025, just to have myself. Scion go sober. No, sire.

[Ronnie Karam]

Go hug a tree. Thanks, Obama.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wow. I'm amazing. That they were. They already knew about Obama back then, but they did. They're like, I don't know. I think that. No, I think that. I think that, like, Boykin, sir. Boykin was like, I just did some ayahuasca, and this is what I've got to say. Thanks, Obama. I don't know why I'm saying it, but I feel like it'll make sense at some point. Gets passed down generation after generation. Your great, great grandpappy used to always say, thanks, Obama.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now Shep's like, it's crazy because I'm healed, but Austin and Craig are mean to me. You know, they blew me off after Vegas when I needed them the most. And he's like, I need them to understand how much they hurt me. And this right there is why I'm pissed and why he's triggered. He's triggered me because nobody who's making an effort to heal themselves ever blames the people around them. When you're really making an effort to heal yourself, it's like, I up. And how can I make this right with everybody that I over when I was up every single day and making them look like idiots on a national stage, but instead, he makes himself an idiot, which shows he's learned nothing and he's doing nothing. So don't fall for it, people.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Correct. Correct. Although I am.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's all I needed. You know what? That's what I want you to put on my gravestone. Correct.

[Ben Mandelker]

Correct. Although this is what I always used to say about Kim Richards, too. Because, remember, Kim Richards would come out of, like, that's true, too. Like, and she would get mad at people that they weren't there for her when she was.

[Ronnie Karam]

That was true, too.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lunatic. So either way, I am, like, darkly amused by this whole situation. Like, like, Shep being a monster and then, like, having, like, no concept as to why people just got so fed up that. But that they just were like, you know what? Go rot in a ditch somewhere. You're. You're wasted. That's gonna be on you, because we don't want to be dragged into your hell life anymore. And he's like, gosh, why didn't you want to be dragged into my hell life? I needed you in my hell hole. So I think it's kind of funny in. In my own dark way, but. But if in terms of, like, what you're saying. Correct, Correct.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

One more time.

[Ronnie Karam]

Needed. Thank you. It's my favorite song. We should make a remix of that. Correct, Correct. Correct, correct. So then we go back to Craig and Austin in the car, and Craig's like, I want to have a relationship with Chef again, mostly because we're shooting, and, like, it's just. The show's about us. So, like, we see each other in the gym, and it's pretty service level. And then so we cut to the gym, which is just all three guys seeing each other and, like, doing that high five, way high five, where it's really high because they're all tall. And then they just say, sup? Sup?

[Ben Mandelker]

Which, by the way, no different than it has been for the past 10 years on the show, but sure. Stop, stop, stop, stop. I mean, it's not like, what it used to be. And the question that I have for him is, like, is this just what? What? Like, what does he want? You know, like, if he honestly wants to change, like, we can be there for him to lean on. But, like, I want clarity for him, you know, because, like, we, like, split. But also, if he does have anything to say, like, he needs to tell me everything and all the juicy details because, like, Paige said, I have one job and one job only. Wait, she just said, stop saying this part on tv, and I'm. Wait, I'm still speaking. I am still speaking. What? Wait, now she's really mad at me. Oh, sorry. I was supposed to stop talking.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then we go to medicine, arriving at a clothing boutique, and, you know, it's one of those owners who's like, hello, darling. So good to see you. I haven't seen you in so long. What are we buying today? What friends are coming in. I've known you since you were a little baby. I can't wait to dress you again. Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

And she's like, so I'm throwing a party for the Carolina Cup. So I. I, you know, I have a Carolina Herrera dress, but I'm always open to other things. Get it? Carolina Cup. Open. Carolina regress. Okay, never mind. Anyway, give me a dress.

[Ronnie Karam]

So is that the vibe we're going for? Because here's what I want to know.

[Ben Mandelker]

How do you want to feel?

[Ronnie Karam]

I care about what's inside Madison. Okay, what do you want to see Come out? What do you want to feel? Stacey's here for you, baby.

[Ben Mandelker]

Corn. I want to feel like corn.

[Ronnie Karam]

Corn. Still into corn. But this time we're going to be popcorn. Big corn, huge corn. You're walking there. People are gonna say, who's the big corn walking in?

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Madison's friend Molly walks in, and she's. And Matt's like, oh, my God, we look just like twins. And Molly's like, I know, right? Like, I'm like her giant twin. And Stacy's like, oh, my God.

[Ronnie Karam]

Molly, good to see you, darling. How's your mother? God, I've loved you since you were a baby. How you do. Get over here and sit on my lap. You want to suck my breast?

[Ben Mandelker]

Get over here.

[Ronnie Karam]

And I'm always like, oh, hi, Stacy. How are you? They do that, like, Southern. It cracks me up every time I see it. It's especially the ladies that do this to each other, and it just cracks me up. And they're like, oh, they just scrunch their whole face up at each other and squint their eyes. And then Stacy goes back to normal immediately.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, And Stacy's also trying to, like. She's trying to flex in front of America. She's like, oh, you know what, Molly? You're so easy to dress because I've dressed you for so many sheets, so. Hear that, Christian? What's your face from Project Runway? I do style and do. So then Molly's like, Yep, that's right.

[Ronnie Karam]

12 years Cinnamo.

[Ben Mandelker]

12 years of dressing. 12 years of getting stuck in a hat that looks like it's from Blossom. Love that. Thanks, Stacy.

[Ronnie Karam]

I love modeling in the South. Thanks, Stacy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Commercials.

[Ronnie Karam]

Here comes one right now.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

That's Amazon.com ad freepodcast to catch up.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

So Madison's like, molly is one of my favorite people in the world. She's basically like a human version of corn and she's a model, so I used to do her hair and makeup for shoes. She's funny, she's weird, but like, in a good way. I love that. I love good weird. So they're making small talk and they love her new hair. She's like, I love your higher. Your mother saying you're higher. Your hair is nice. I'm throwing a party for your hair. I love it.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is gonna be great hair for our next shoot because we've done so many shoots together. Isn't that right, Christian Siriano? So Molly's like, yeah, I know. I'm healing from drama from my last wave. So they're like looking for clothing and everything. And Madison is. She's like, oh, that would look real good on your butt, girl. She's like, oh, my God. I know. People keep asking if I got a BBL. I'm like, no, I just gained 25 pounds. I'm like, I don't. We're. I'm. I'm not sure if I see the bbl, but I'll let you have that one.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I'm. Oh, I thought you meant the gaining 25 pounds. Because I was like, can I please gain 25 pounds and look like that? Because.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, yeah, I don't.

[Ronnie Karam]

What a stunner. Oh, my God.

[Ben Mandelker]

I see none of the above.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, she's. She has like young Jennifer Coolidge face. I really like her, by the way. I really automatically like a girl.

[Ben Mandelker]

Good. Well, you know, it's so funny because she was so easy in front of the Camera. And when she said she was a model, I was like, I guarantee she was on Top Model at some point. Probably one of the later seasons. There's just something about her look that looked. And then she says in a few moments that she was on Top Model. So she probably got her like, reality TV like training wheels on with that show. And now she's like, ready to go for Southern Charm.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes. So they're trying on clothes and then we find out about Molly and she, you know, she was on Top Model, as Ben said, and she's walked for Vivian Westwood. She shot for Vogue. But. And here's her big story. I have a thyroid problem and it causes my weight to fluctuate. So in the past few years, I gained 45 pounds and I lost a lot of modeling jobs. And that's a mind fuck. So we've got a model with the thyroid problem who's going up and down on her weight and so insecure that she's trying to date a 60 year old. So this is why I am calling the police. Because when she mentions Whitney, which she does in just a second, and I'm sorry, I couldn't wait to get there. I started yelling at the tv. Why? How has human resources not been brought to this show every single year? How many guys, how many girls does this guy get to to cast on the show? Like, what is the casting couch on the show? And why is it only okay to be on this show? It's. It's annoying. It bugs me. Yeah, that's like yet another young female cast member brought onto the show dating Whitney. I can't. I can't.

[Ben Mandelker]

I did not even think about that.

[Ronnie Karam]

It started back in the day with little 18 year old Catherine or whatever who was dating Whitney on the show. It's like, if this whole show is a casting couch for Whitney, how is H R not there? Get over there.

[Ben Mandelker]

We'll be on top of it. For some reason, HR does somehow has a blind spot for this entire show. So they're making some, like, small talk about boobs and everything like that. And then they finally settle down with some mimosas. And Molly's talking about how she's excited for the cup and everything. And Madison's like, so you excited to see Greg? She's like, I mean, I'm not trying to flirt and steal him from Paige or anything. And Molly's. Molly says that Craig and I have been flirty friends for a long time and we used to sex each other and send each other naughty videos and stuff. I mean, I wasn't mad at it, you know? I mean, Craig's hot. He's hot.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And Madison's like, okay, well, what's the last time you saw Whitney? And she just went over there and cooked him lamb shanks at his house and detail. Yeah, but here's the thing. Isn't Whitney a vegan or something? Wasn't that thing last year that he's, like, a vegan and he doesn't. He's always eating healthy? Or is it that he's always eating raw things? I don't know. He's on some diet.

[Ben Mandelker]

All I know is that Rand, we told Randy to make some lamb shanks, and he put a sneaker in the pan and nearly ruined the kitchen.

[Ronnie Karam]

So she went to cook him lamb shanks at his house, which sounds not smart because I don't think he eats those. And Madison's like, girl, that's the key. That's the key right there. And she goes, yes. And then why hasn't he wiped me up? Have you watched this show? What are you doing? It's like you're. This is. You're writing the ATV in Costa Rica. Like, I already.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. Have you seen his renob hat? What part of a renob hat says that you're gonna get wiped up anytime soon?

[Ronnie Karam]

So she's like, I just don't. I just don't trust that he's actually ready to settle down. Girl, he's not gonna settle down. Stop it. He's keeping that hundred million dollars to himself. You all just need to go get a job. This is ridiculous. Stop debasing yourself for this, man. Stop it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Madison's like, well, when he sees you dress up in that girl, he might change his mind. I'm like, madison, why are you saying these things? He's not. And I also hate the idea that, like, oh, if you dress sexy enough and pretty enough, then he may want to settle down with you. I hate. Like, that's basically the undertone of saying something like that. I know it said not, like, sincerely, but it's kind of not. Not sincerely, too. So, yeah, Whitney's not settling down, guys. He's not. Time to move.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And she's like, well, yeah, I know. Like, I'm 36. I mean, girl, the years of the People are getting divorced. People are getting divorced at that age now. So, like, there's, like, new men opening up. She like, well, you know, they're going to go through that. That whole phase. You don't want to use, man. You don't want to fresh out. Okay. And she's like, no, because I'm a jealous psycho. She goes, cheers to that girl. Same sign. I'll be like, here's an air tag. Swallow it, because I'm gonna track your ass, your life.

[Ben Mandelker]

Here's an air tag. Swallow it. Track you the rest of your life.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, love that. So then we go to Chef and Austin, arriving at the Boykin farm, and they greet little Craig, who seems a little low energy and depression. I'm not gonna lie. What happened to little Craig? He's just sad.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, well, maybe because his. He hasn't seen his, like, girlfriend in forever. Whichever girlfriend he has these days, because he always has a girlfriend. Every. Every season. So Shep is like, come on. Oh, your rooms are upstairs. And Craig's like, yeah, let's have some chips and salsa. They're gonna have chips and salsa. So they all, like, settle in and everything. And Craig puts his dirty ass suitcase on the white linens and immediately gets dirt on the bed. And then it's just like, Craig is such a. I'm like, you have a linen company. I think he even reflects on that. He's like, I should know better. Yeah, to put a dirty bag on a white linens.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Shep's like, my relationship with these guys, it's kept Charles up night and morning. Mostly because I tell him, charles, you better stay up night and morning worrying about this relationship. I'm exhausted. And then I go to sleep. God, it's nice being rich. Charles has felt a lot of anger and pain for me. Haven't you, Charles? Charles, get in the fetal position and rock back and forth, you lazy.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, my name's Tommy. No, not your Charles.

[Ronnie Karam]

Sorry, sorry, Charles. Tommy. Gosh, I just have so much on my mind.

[Ben Mandelker]

I had a vision. I had a vision. Your name is Charles. All this time. Oh, my God. So Shep is like, hey, so, guys, I want to talk to you because, you know, after Vegas, I was like, I think I'm a little out of control. You know, after I tried to have sex with the Wheel of Fortune slot machine, I thought maybe something's wrong. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what's going on internally, but if anyone could give some help, guidance, or support, you know, it's us, right? Like, that's what we do for each other. And you guys didn't do anything. You guys didn't yell at me. That hurt more than you'll ever know.

[Ronnie Karam]

Victim, victim, victim, victim. Taking blame for nothing. That you did. You acted like an. For the last time, sir, it's called consequences. This should be an apology to them, not a victim. What is wrong with you?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, also, him saying, if anyone can give help or guidance or support or Harsh correction. He's basically saying, if anyone can give tough love, it's you guys. So why didn't you guys give me tough love? What part of them ditching you as friends was not tough love?

[Ronnie Karam]

That literally is. That's literally what it is.

[Ben Mandelker]

Did you watch your reunion? They gave you all those things?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And Craig's like, Craig who also, you know, I'm glad to see that Craig's like, taking care of himself and stuff. But, you know, Craig's also doing stuff where he's like, look, I'm gonna have a non alcoholic beer. Which makes me like, just how Just drink. Like, who cares? Wasn't an announcement, you know. But this is. This is that part where the partying friends are like, trying to learn how to be together, where they're not just partying all the time. And it's hard sometimes. You're like, meeting each other for the first time, the real use, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's not always great.

[Ben Mandelker]

And they're. The three of them are in like a. It's. It's. It's a. It's a funky situation because Craig is now, he's sort of pretty much sobering up because he has a catch, which is Paige, and he also has like a successful business. And he's smart. He's. Craig is not the smartest guy, but he's smart enough to know that he should eliminate the thing that's most likely to ruin everything. So he's. He. He's basically. He's being thoughtful about how he should be living his life. Austin is just stuck in Austin land, but he is not yet an alcohol, a full fledged alcoholic the way Shep is. So Austin just sort of want. I think he wants to keep the party going, but he, like, he's sort of like in the middle. And then Craig is. I mean, then Shep is just like a disaster in desperate need of rehab. And so the three of them are in wildly different places, and it's strange to see and fascinating to see them like, try to coexist as one, as like one group of, like, social friends.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Craig's like, yeah, look, I mean, I hear you. That's fair. But the. You did in Vegas, like, you got so fucked up and you chose to do that and you put yourself in that position. He's like, but Then you came back and you like doubled down on it and nobody would talk to me. Yeah, babe, you did this to yourself. What can they say? And he won't. He just keeps on with the victim stuff. He's like, what do friends do? We used to talk all the time and you fucked it up.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're like a nasty drunk. You're a mean, nasty drunk. Like a rude, mean, nasty drunk. Why are people, why would people voluntarily put themselves in harm's way just because they're trying to help? They've tried to help you. It's too late. It's over. Okay? This entire thing is. It's so self serving. I actually, I couldn't help but laugh. I was like, I cannot believe that. This is his perspective. He comes away a new enlightened ship. This is his takeaway is like, why weren't you there for me to yell at you?

[Ronnie Karam]

And he didn't even stop drinking or anything. He's like, I'm gonna change meds now. I drink a little less and I go to the gym more. Wow. Wow. That's life changing right there, Chef. So he's like, come on, Craig, we've known each other for 10 years and how many times have you put Craig down, tried to ruin his everything, his relationships, everything he's got going on. Over this 10 years, you've been nothing but destructive, sir. Okay? You are lucky you have this TV show because that's the only reason you have any friends.

[Ben Mandelker]

France, you affected my work, my pillow work.

[Ronnie Karam]

Do you know that I tried to sew a circle pillow. That's how upset I was. It almost ruined my life.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do you know? Do you know, watching Chef try to walk a straight line really affected my. My desire to draw do square pillows. Because straight lines, Craig's like, I never shut the door on Shep until Bravocon and he had come in and. And like I instantly saw he was like a blacked out mess. I'm a business owner. I can't be associated with Shep's unhealthy behavior. I'm like, actually, you quite literally should be because when he passes out, he's gonna need a pillow. So if anybody, he's really an influencer. It's a great spokesman sleep Smith for you.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's a perfect model for you. Just always passed out drool proof pillows. So then Shep's like, you gotta be kidding me. The litany of things that crack has pulled over the years is quite extensive. I'm like, you can't even use a word without lit in it. Girl.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now we get some of Craig's greatest hits over the past many years. We see Shep telling Craig that they're worried about him and Craig being like, yeah, no, I'm fine. Well, I just. Sometimes I just won't sleep for three days, and then I'll sleep for, you know, 20 hours. But, like, I'm fine. Great. It's. It's a good reminder that Craig had some pretty. Pretty hardcore party days on this show.

[Ronnie Karam]

Right. But those are past. You know what I mean?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

And especially when they're like, 2014. You guys can't pull up 2014 things to use against each other. Now. Then Another one was 2021, where he got coked out at dinner and screamed at Naomi. But still, you know, it's not the point. It's really not the point.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Chef is like, for Craig to play the victim because of my actions, it doesn't really hit home for me. So I was like, jeff, dude. I mean, I. I didn't know if this was like you were being, like, real or this, but, like, you know, you just, like, wanted to make yourself seem cool. And she was like, I was on the ropes, okay?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

But at that moment, I made a choice and I was like, you need to set a boundary right now if this is gonna be Chef's, you know, behavior. I was setting a boundary, okay. And I also asked a girl out on a date to find a relationship. I'm like a grown up now, Chef.

[Ronnie Karam]

I didn't know I was such a pariah. You are. You are. You're in a salty pariah. Okay. According to the stories about you at BravoCon from the cast on the show. So he's like, I mean, this is all news to me. Sounds to me like you just don't see relationships the way I do. You see them with quadruple vision. Okay. You can't see straight. And Craig's like, no, I just think you need you fucked up, you know? And like, and then I've heard of bad nights you've had since New York. And he's like, oh, what, sorry, I'm not perfect. Oh, every. Every trophy line. Every single one.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, like, what do you think? I'm like a masochist? And I'm going to, like, keep sticking around.

[Ronnie Karam]

Craig, this is Craig. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello, Craig, you're stupid. Love you, babe. Craig, wait.

[Ben Mandelker]

Craig, did you tell. Did you tell Shep that you're not a masochist? Yeah. Okay. Good job, chicken.

[Ronnie Karam]

So basically, he's staying strong, right? But Shep's like, I did mess up, but I. It hasn't been pretty. I'm not perfect. And he's like, okay, so why would I stick around? For years, I stuck around. And he's like, craig, what do you mean you're not doing me a favor? I'm not a charity. He's like, well, you're asking us to treat you like you are a charity. And he's like, no, I just want you to impart some of your journey. Here's their journey. Here's Craig's journey. Craig was fucking up. He almost got dumped and lost his entire life. And his business partner probably almost stopped working with him. And then he cleaned up to keep it all, and now he's still clean. That's his journey. Do it.

[Ben Mandelker]

In the past year, I haven't been drinking, and it changed everything for me. And I'm happier and healthier, and my relationship is so much better. Great job. Great job, Craig. I knew you could land that line. Paige is just on the side, just typing out all his lines for the scene. So then. Then we see a flashback, actually, of last week. Craig is talking to Paige, and he's like. Like, I am where I am because I started to make a choice for my future self instead of my immediate self. And you were a huge part of that, chicken.

[Ronnie Karam]

I was the biggest part. Yeah. I was the biggest part of that. Stupid. Yeah, okay. The biggest part. I was the reason I was. I wasn't a part. I was. I was the pie. I was the whole pie. God, I hate pie. Why am I talking about pie? Craig, don't ever bring up pie again. Okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

I'll never bring up pie. Jacobs, what about. What about chicken? Pot pie? Am I allowed? No.

[Ronnie Karam]

Craig, what even is that? Flower pie is disgusting. Put flour in the water and try to feed that to people. Where do you live?

[Ben Mandelker]

I literally don't understand how people do things down in Charleston. Okay. Get a salad. I just, like. I love Craig having this, like, this moment of introspection, but he ends it with the word chicken. Like, I realized that in order for me to succeed and for me to do well, I can't just think about what I want. I have to think about something larger, something bigger. I have to think about me and the people I love and the world around me. Chicken.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So they're basically. Craig's like, I needed to take a step back. And he's like, yeah, well, I think it's just communication. They communicated very clearly with you. Okay. And he's like, even if that lunch was like, this is how we feel, and we're going to take a step back. They literally told you that in front of America. I could have used that. You using too much. That's the point.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just want to clarify that. I did need to take a step back, but that's only because I finally took a vaccine, so made me walk backwards. Wasn't anything about you, Shep?

[Ronnie Karam]

So basically, Craig goes to the kitchen and he breaks the chair first, and he's like, I don't know what's up with me breaking chairs, maybe, because everywhere you go has 900 year old chairs. Can we just get a chair?

[Ben Mandelker]

That's true. And yes. So they. So they go to the kitchen, and Austin's like, wow, I'm definitely interested to hear what your journey's been. And that, by the way, tell me about your ayahuasca. They're like, you know. You know, Austin can't say ayahuasca without, like, about at least half a cup of spit coming out of his mouth. That's just, like, not a word that's good for Austin's mouth.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So Craig's, like, listening to them and kind of laughing because they're so ridiculous. And seps. Like, well, I don't. I know this is going to be raw. And then he goes pretty much as low as you can go to win somebody back. And he says that while he was on ayahuasca, I had a vision of you and your sister who passed away. So this is typical Shep going as low as possible to get what he wants. And then he said, I can't believe you would ever ignore me. Especially after the whole thing with Taylor. I was just so angry and hurt. But then the situation with your sister, it was just so emotional, but also raw and painful. And then a bunch of empathy and tears started flowing out of me for you, because it's just so unimaginable for me. And I guess that's why you were treating me like that, because you lost your sister. I forgive you. Are you fucking kidding me? How Austin is so stupid that he doesn't get up there, get. Get up and walk out of there right now. How dare you, sir? How dare you?

[Ben Mandelker]

And also. And also, how dense is Shep to not realize how Austin's behavior is directly tied to that trauma in his life? I mean, we give to Austin all the time, but, like, we also pretty much know that this thing, like, this horrible tragedy in his life has massively caused, like, arrested development for. For, you know, him. And so, like, for chef to Only just realize his now and then. To be like, I. I'm. I forgive you. I forgive you right now. Like, it just was, like. It was so.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's gross.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was. It was wild. I couldn't believe it.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's gross. It's pretty sad manipulation. And Austin's like, yeah, my therapist brings that up, you know, and she'll connect dots back to certain traumas in my life about it. And then Austin's basically like, well, you know, I'm glad he had a vision about me, because we're friends. Deep down, we're still friends. And then Shep goes, yeah, and also, I had a vision of Taylor, too. I was a bird. And so I took her into my nest and I fed her and I nourished her, and I wanted her to become this majestic bird. But then instead of being a bird that flew out of the nest and soared, she kept flying into windows and hurting her nest. Bam, bam, bam. And then some lady came out and said, hey, listen, I've tried to do insurance here. Stupid bird, stop flowing. Hey, bird, get a job. Get a job.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think that sounds like a pretty accurate representation of Taylor as a bird.

[Ronnie Karam]

I think.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think this vision sounds like it was a real one. He's like, oh. And then I showed the bird the Vietnam War by Ken Burns, and all she kept on doing was trying to fly out the window. I was like, no, part five is where it gets really interesting, dude.

[Ronnie Karam]

I actually have a bird in my house, literally, that was flying into windows exactly like you said.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, congratulations. It's called having windows.

[Ronnie Karam]

You're also banging Taylor. So I guess they're just both like, yeah, we're both getting signs that Taylor's a bird that keeps banging into our windows. Meanwhile, better find another child bird to torture for the next few years.

[Ben Mandelker]

Broken bird prophecies. And then Craig's just listening in the kitchen while he's still looking for salmon or something. He's like, these two are so fucking dumb. It's real brain trust over there. So now we cut over to Taylor, Molly and Rodrigo and his boyfriend Tyler. They're getting on the bus to go to the Carolina cup, and JT's there, and JT is like, well, me and Taylor, our relationship now is fine. I think a true scent move would be a sort of distance myself or be cold because, you know, I didn't get what I wanted because, you know, he was in love with her last year. And he's like, but, no, I'm not doing that. It's just. It's Awkward. We're just awkward.

[Ronnie Karam]

So basically, Taylor's like, whatever. I don't care. He's not the first loser who's tried to bang me and not had a chance. So, whatever. I'm going to be nice to him. So he comes on, they all tease him about his cane and stuff, and they make small talk and take the bus on. You know, take the party bus on the way out there. So Taylor's like, yeah, Gaston. They're asking Taylor about Gaston. And she's like, he's my better half. We started hanging out last summer, and he respects me like a human, not just a pretty girl. Like, I'm not just a girl. I'm like a girl with, like, flavored soda water with alcohol in it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I'm sure that Gaston is. Is really gonna be a gold star winner for you. Can't wait. Can't wait. There will be no other shoe that will drop. None whatsoever. All the shoes are on. Tied on firmly. No shoes are dropping.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then we go back to the farm, and Craig is facetiming Paige and showing his outfit off. And she's like, like, oh, my God, you look like your name is Chet and your dad's a real asshole.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, that's a compliment, by the way. Okay, off to the Hamptons I go. So then we go back to the bus, and they say the bus has pulled over at a gas station because I guess JT has to pee. And then he comes back out, and he has bought a whole bunch of canes. Walking canes from the gas station, because it's, like, funny, since he has a cane, everyone's gonna have a cane. And it'll be, like, hilarious. Because JT thought about this a week ahead of time and was like, this will be hilarious on tv. And it was just a natural, natural moment for us all to witness.

[Ronnie Karam]

But unfortunately for this douche, when that happens is because someone's like, oh, my God, you're sick with the cane. I bought us all canes because we're gonna walk in solidarity with you. You don't do it for everybody else. Yeah, I think you don't ask for solidarity.

[Ben Mandelker]

And also, like, having, like, a sprained knee is not a solidarity moment, I think, with people. I think, like, people be like, okay, here's a chair. You can put your foot up. So they. He gets all these. These canes, and he's like, so I got three really long canes for the three boys. And I'm gonna go up to Austin. I'm gonna say, hey, are we All O, Kane. Okay. What's that? And then the three boys can have their tall canes, and we can have our little canes. And then. And then. And then we'll have a little. We could do raised canes up, you know, and then we can be like, yeah. Oh, Christmas time, I hope you get to enjoy lots of candy canes. And I'll be like, did you study economics? Did you enjoy that Keynesian economics?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

I go on.

[Ronnie Karam]

So stupid. Nobody laughs and. But I do laugh at the friends because they're like, wow, you're like a cane influencer. Someone's like, yeah, you start at only canes.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then now we go to the Carolina cup, and people are right. Brighton, Madison, come check. Wow, look at that, Brad. He's like, wow, okay, look at that. It's like a tray, but it's made out of strawberries. Ain't that gorgeous? Wow. Yeah. It's sunny out here, ain't it, Brett? Yeah. Wow, you're so. You're so handsome. You should talk less. Why aren't you talking? Told me to shut up.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, so then Madison's like, some of them are sitting around, and she's like, okay, let me drink out this bottle, okay?

[Ronnie Karam]

And I'll let.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know. It's. You know what politics would be if we became friends? Austin. And Austin's like, yeah, they'll be like, me and JT Becoming best friends.

[Ronnie Karam]

He shows up in polka dot pants, which is really funny, and she's in a polka dot skirt. So he's like, whoa, we're twins. I was like, don't start making fun of his cane and all that stuff, okay? He's like, I'm not. I'm just gonna make fun of. I'm not gonna make fun of someone's injuries unless, you know, like, he provokes me, and then. Then I'll do it. It's like, well, what if he takes, like, the game and he hits you?

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, he hits me with it. I mean, I don't know. He did hit butt you, which was a pretty alpha move for a beta, okay? So I wouldn't put it past him.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now the bus, they're talking about Austin, too, and how he has a girlfriend now. And Taylor's like, wait a minute, they're actually dating? And Rodrigo's like, oh, yeah, we went to Hilton Head with Austin and Audrey, and that was last summer. And Leva's like, wait a minute. I'm Leva, and this is why I'm on the show. Last summer. He was dating her.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well.

[Ronnie Karam]

I know a whole bunch of girls that said that they're dating Austin. And it's been between last summer and now. So it's like, don't, Don't. Austin's still a cheater. What a shocker.

[Ben Mandelker]

JT's like, hearing that Austin's still doing his dirty ass shirt in his new relationship. I want to shake him and be like, if you want to around, just be a upfront about it. And with Austin, I feel like, honestly, honestly, it's just strictly an impossibility. Like, canes in a. In a Goodwill store. I don't know. I gotta work on. I gotta work on it.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'd like him to be honest for once, but he just can't. So then we go to the Carolina cup again, and Brett's like, wow, I looked it up. There's only two tracks in. All the USS and all the US who don't do gambling. This is one of them. Craig's like, how do they even make any money here if they can't take bets? Madison's like, tickets, stupid. Hey, hold on a second. I'm gonna call Paige. Hey, Paige, I just called Craig stupid. Good. Let me do it. Craig stupid. Good job, girl. Miss you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Thanks, chicken. So everyone is getting off the bus. Everyone is like, oh, this is nice. Everything. They, like, go into, like, a tent or something like that. And, you know, Taylor says she likes Austin's polka dots. And then Molly hugs. Craig is like, molly and I only knew each other online, so our sexting, like, didn't even count. And he says we never even hooked up in person or anything, but it does feel. It doesn't. Doesn't feel, like, weird. It's all, like, in the past. Paige thinks it's, like, so funny. Like, Paige, don't you think Molly's funny? I want to kill her, Craig. I want to kill her. I want to put her head on a stick. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now JT starts passing out canes, and everyone's kind of groaning because it's not great. And he's like, I'm gonna get this over with. What's up, handsome kings? And he walks to the guys, and he's like, let's not mess around. Just get it over with. And Craig's like, dude, are we. Are you good? Are you good? And so he gives some canes, and he's like, after my near death experience, I was a little harsh on you during the exorcism, Austin, but. But I'm happy as hell for you, brother, that you got a girlfriend. So I got something for you. A cane, which is also taller than me. And I didn't realize that until I'm giving it to you right now, but still hope you enjoy it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, you're not gonna beat me with this. He's like, no, I'm not fine with you. This is your cane because you've turned over a new leaf. Okay. Water under the Costa Rican bridge. Because I was in Costa Rica, where I got my injury. God, it's just like, I'm really just kind of taking over pop culture right now. I kind of get that feeling.

[Ronnie Karam]

Did Shep go to Costa Rica for the ayahuasca?

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know where he went for the ayahuasca. He probably just went to Gwyn's. He's just rolling around in the men's section.

[Ronnie Karam]

Who's just under a freeway.

[Ben Mandelker]

He said, Thomas Ravenel's house. So Austin's like a weirdo.

[Ronnie Karam]

He did. He went to Costa Rica and did ayahuasca. I just looked it up. Why is everybody going to Costa Rica?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it's the new Tulum. So JT's like, well, have a great day. Make some money at the stables. All right, Dogs. We're. We're chef. And I was like, well, I mean, what do you say?

[Ronnie Karam]

That?

[Ben Mandelker]

Sure. Okay. Good stuff. I mean, jt, it's. He's never going to be accepted by these guys. They just barely let him in. He's an outsider. He's not wealthy. He didn't do the genu flexion that Craig did for years and years and years. And he's fucked it up. He will.

[Ronnie Karam]

But he's also just a poser. Like, he comes in and he tries to start fights with people and chest, you know, like chest bump them and bow at them just to have moments. And they're like, whatever, whatever. Newbie, this is not your show. But nice try, buddy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Patricia Whitney arrive.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Vanita sees that Birkin and she's like, that Birkin is 50 grand. And then Molly's like, who does Pat have with her? Is that Winnie's date? Great, I need a drink. And we see this pale little 20. What we find out is a 22 year old that Whitney's brought along. The 56 year old Whitney has brought along class.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Classy. Hey, baby, how you doing tonight, huh? You've been great, You've been working out. Is this a walking stick? Like, what the hell, mother? Did you see this walking stick? And Craig is like, jt gave them to everyone. We look ridiculous.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Molly's like, so is that your date? And he's like, yeah, that's my date. And my. Like, yeah, I had no idea who's bringing someone, but I mean, I don't really message him and ask him about every single thing that he does, so. And so she's telling Vanita, one minute he's like, have my babies, and the next minute he's out with a 22 year old. Like, I mean, what the hell? Yeah, you're going to have his babies and he will still be dating the 22 year olds. What are you not understanding, Molly? Can someone bring her up today?

[Ben Mandelker]

Why does every woman want to date this toxic dump of a man? Not just Whitney, all of them. Everybody.

[Ronnie Karam]

Whitney's worth hundreds of millions of dollars. So I think that's the why on the wit. And he's the. And he controls this show. So, I mean, I can kind of get that one.

[Ben Mandelker]

But I'm saying all the men, they're all just like toxic dump disasters. They're just. Every single one of them has so much baggage and they. Craig is the one who's shown the most promise. Maybe he's. Maybe he's graduated from the toxic dump at this point. But between Austin, Shep, and Whitney, like, why, There's a big pool. There's a big pool. Why do you keep going back to these three people?

[Ronnie Karam]

And Molly's like, well, that girl seems nice, but she does seem kind of tired and low energy. She looks like she needs a B vitamin for one thing. I mean, the girl is pale as hell. She looks like she's been out, and she looks like a kitten that's been let out in the rain. Okay, can we just send the girl home? Wherever that may be? Has she been trafficked? What? Where did they find this girl?

[Ben Mandelker]

She looks like she was just break dancing to Lana Del Rey or something. So Austin is like. He's like, well, I thought you said hey to Taylor. And she's like, no, gosh, I haven't. Should I go over there? I mean, have you said hey to everybody? No, I have. Hint. I've been having visions of saying hello, but I haven't done it actually in reality.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Rodrigo's like, okay, say hi. Just don't be a weirdo about it. He's like, and she's like, oh, nice little rose. Referring to a little pin on his suit. And he goes, I know, it's a double entendre. Is that too big of a word for you? Does anybody have a window pane that she can bang her head against? What? Sorry. Gorge.

[Ben Mandelker]

I brought you some bird feed. What? Oh, God, I forgot we're not in my vision anymore. So Vanita is. Vanilla's like, I didn't know roses and thorns talk to each other. Okay, so then Shep is like.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, she's trying, I guess.

[Ben Mandelker]

I haven't seen you since December, when I built a birdhouse for you. And she's like, I know. I thought we might run into each other somewhere around town. Or you might run into my window because you're a bird.

[Ronnie Karam]

And he's like, I even texted you, and I think you. And she goes, oh, did you? He goes, yeah, I think you blocked me. She goes, oh, maybe. Yeah, I guess maybe. She goes, he's sorry. And then she tells us, yes, I blocked Shep. And he's like, I mean, it was a really nice text. Maybe you can read it sometimes. She's like, yeah, I don't. He goes, oh, okay. It's okay. Okay, then. Yeah, it's okay. So you're gonna read it right now. I don't. Okay, fine. So you're unblocking me right now. I don't. Great. So I'm unblocked. Can't wait to text you.

[Ben Mandelker]

We actually have a. We actually got a copy of the text, and it says, taylor, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I know I wasn't the best boyfriend to you, but in my moment of need, where were you?

[Ronnie Karam]

Where were.

[Ben Mandelker]

Why did you come have sex with me when I needed you most?

[Ronnie Karam]

So Taylor's like, I don't need to have him in my life. I'm on this show now. I don't need him anymore. And now I have a new boyfriend to be with on this show. Sorry, storyline. You're over, sucker.

[Ben Mandelker]

I found a new way to humiliate myself. I'm dating someone named Gaston. I no longer need Chip.

[Ronnie Karam]

So he's like, okay. Okay. Okay, good. Okay, good. Good to see ya. Good to see you. I guess there's a chance, huh? So she's like, yeah, I'm in a new relationship, so I'm gonna respect those boundaries. Just leave us alone, please. Don't. Don't, Don.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now Madison, Brett, and JT are sitting on the couches. And Madison's like, so, little Beta man, how long are we gonna milk this Cane thing for? It's getting real old. And he's like, oh, come on. He's like, let me email God real quick and I'll. Let me ask him. Oh, aren't you happy I didn't die? And she's like. Like, I think all betas should die.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now Molly's like, is that a raspberry macaron? Don't touch it. I'm a macaron whore. These are done well and they're fresh. I love it. A model obsessed with food. I'm in. I'm into this storyline. Okay, so Madison goes to sit with Patricia, who is visited by a couple of. A couple more gays. And then JT's like, oh, wait, is that Ms. Pat? Oh, damn, I'm gonna go over there. Hey, Ms. Pat, I bought this cane for you.

[Ben Mandelker]

And she's like, yeah, if you're gonna do that, you've gotta at least say, hey, Ms. Pat, I've been giving everyone canes because I've got a cane. So here's one for you. Anyway, I basically was just saying, bad joke. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't give. Don't make jokes about canes to your elders.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, yes. And she's like, I'm genuinely offended. What?

[Ben Mandelker]

Wait.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, I'm genuinely offended. What's next, a wheelchair? And Vanita's like, yeah, you don't give a woman past a certain age of cane. Oh, my God, I wish he had passed this through me. Like, he does almost everything else. And Patricia's like, stupid gift.

[Ben Mandelker]

So I'm just glad Georgette Mousenberger wasn't here to see this.

[Ronnie Karam]

She would have had the entire. The entirety of Poland turns against that little person.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she. Patricia is not happy about this. It's very offensive. She's. She, like. She says she's genuinely offended, and she's like, I'm gonna go. So JT's like, but also, it's funny.

[Ronnie Karam]

That nobody in the cast was even like, oh, my God, he's doing that because he gave everybody a cane.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ye.

[Ronnie Karam]

He has a cane. No one even tried to save him. They were just like, lol, you idiot.

[Ben Mandelker]

And he didn't try to save himself. Like, he didn't. First of all, he should have been the first one to save himself. But second of all, no one tried to help him. No one tried to clarify. So she just is like, oh, wow. So you're just giving me a cane because I'm old. Got it. Thanks. So he's like, no, you know, I'm not a mind reader, but there's some coldness in the air. I think maybe we're missing the point here a little bit. It definitely doesn't feel like. Like Costa Rica. Am I right? That's a thing now. Right, Right.

[Ronnie Karam]

So here's the thing about the South. Everyone can be huge, huge, lovely, kissy, cheeky. But then that's just surface and then there's layers beneath it. No, there's not layers beneath it. You were a rude and she treated you like a rude and walked away. What are you not understanding? No one's being fake with you here.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And I guarantee this is going to lead to his downward spiral, which is like, him being like, whoa, like, like everyone thinks I'm an. And it was just a joke. And now everyone's accusing me of being an. Well, you should have, like, made a better joke. If you have to explain your joke, then you made a bad joke.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, yeah. We see that the entire season's plot for him is that he calls Patricia a for this and is called out on it and starts spinning out of control denying that he ever called her A. That's his whole storyline for the whole season. That's some funny. So, yeah, that's basically what we happen. We see that. We see the coming months and everybody fighting and going crazy and that's. JT is not looking good for jt, you know.

[Ben Mandelker]

Nope. But, you know, it's nice to have Southern charm back. It's always a fun time.

[Ronnie Karam]

And yeah, you know, get some rage out on douchebags.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ronnie Karam]

Fun times. Well, everybody, thanks so much for being with us. This is great. If you want to watch these on video, join us us at Patreon. It's also where you will be finding all of our bonus episodes, including sold on slc, which is up now and will be the next few weeks on Patreon exclusively. Also, go get tickets for the Mass Hysteria tour. We start in next month. Really in January. So it's coming right up. Go to watch what crappins.com to get your tickets. That's also where you find tickets for the Golden Crappies, which are on Broadway this year. The town hall in New York City. So we are so excited for that. It's going to be big musical extravaganza. So plan on coming out there for that and we love you guys. We'll talk to you next time.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bye.

[Ronnie Karam]

Bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto.

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Shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappins. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.

[Ben Mandelker]

Have you ever wondered who created that.

[Ronnie Karam]

Bottle of Sriracha that's living in your fridge?

[Ben Mandelker]

Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly? Introducing the best idea yet. A brand new podcast about the surprising.

[Ronnie Karam]

Origin stories of the products you're obsessed with.

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen to the best idea yet on the Wonder app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guest like chestnuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittany Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery App, Spotify or Apple Podcasts.