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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ben Mandelker
So much. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch what Crapp ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today, the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie, how are you?
Ronnie Karam
Well, hello, Ben. I'm great. How are you?
Ben Mandelker
I'm fantastic. Very excited. Today we are recapping Real Housewives of New York, but more excitingly, which is literally anything in the world that we just got our links, we just got our links for Texas, our Texas shows and our Charlotte shows. So as soon as we're done doing this recap, I'm going to copy and paste them and put them on our website so you can get your tickets to go see these shows. Here is the, here's the update. This is the schedule. Okay. There's going to be an artist pre sale on Thursday, December 19th. That's going to be at 10am local and you can use a code that we will have on Patreon and then there then it goes on sale for everyone. The tickets, this is for Charlotte on Friday at 10am Friday, December 20 and same deal with Austin, same deal with Dallas. So the key dates here is get, get your first dibs on tickets Thursday, December 19th and then public on sale on Friday. The links, I'm putting them up as soon as we're done here. Really excited. Also help us out with the crappies. We are formulating the ballot but by this point the story asking for for suggestions is going to probably be gone. But we will get a post up on Instagram and leave comments with your favorite moments of the year, your favorite fights, your favorite quotes. Is there anything else, Ronnie, that we should have people what we should crowdsource from the people on this?
Ronnie Karam
Oh, we will. We'll be adding some stuff up in the next few days for sure.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. But those are the things that we need the most help with is jogging our memory on that sort of stuff. Yeah, yeah.
Ronnie Karam
So just whatever you, whatever is the most fun because you know, we delete from our brains our DVRs in our brains as these seasons end. So of course everybody's giving us the quote, high body count here. Of course, that's. And of course, of course it's gonna be on there. It was a great quote, but it's the most recent. So think back, think back to what was on last January. And let's, let's start going from there, guys. So maybe we should do like a big list of all the shows that have aired on Bravo and put that on Instagram and be like, here you go. Yeah, go for it.
Ben Mandelker
I think we'll, we'll, we'll, we will. We'll figure something out.
Ronnie Karam
It's gonna be fun. We're gonna do a lot more of you guys being involved in this. So anyway, just check our SOC Instagram. Watch what crappens.com. we'll leave stuff up there. Also, this is on video today on Crappin on Demand on Patreon. It's also where you can listen to our bonus episodes of Sold on slc, which is what we're covering right now, exclusively. The first episode, we're going to re release on the main feed next week at Christmas just so people can get a taste. And then if you want it, come over and listen to it over on Patreon. And I think that's it for now, right, Ben?
Ben Mandelker
It feels good. Feels good. Why don't we dive into New York?
Ronnie Karam
Last week. We're alive right now.
Ben Mandelker
This is a live podcast. Last week, last week, I started the episode with a bold proclamation that I really enjoyed last week's episode of Real Housewives of New York. And I am proud to announce that the streak continues as in the streak of boring episodes. And it resumed the this week back. Back to hating it. What. I mean, what. What are they doing to us? What the heck?
Ronnie Karam
And let me tell you, you know, it's a. It's still a housewife show, so I still have my base enjoyment of it. You know what I mean? Like, I'm still, like, glad I'm not doing nothing. So that's good. And, and there are things that I enjoy no matter what. I've, you know, at this point, I've just sort of given myself over to Bravo and it doesn't matter whether I enjoy it or not. We're here and so. And I enjoy doing this no matter what's going on, right? So whatever. Like, some are good, some are bad. This one's particularly bad. But I'm still enjoying some of it, you know? And so that was enough for me. It was like, enough. And that's all I can say. I will say that this Is one of those ones. Beverly Hills, I watch every minute of Salt Lake City. I watch Potomac. I watch this one. I scroll. It's a scroll show. The real estate ones on Bravo, I scroll. Like, I'll watch Million Dollar Listing, but I'm scrolling, you know, and this is a scroll show, so parts of it I might be a little fuzzy because, you know, girl, I was scrolling. And if anybody is scrolling currently in this day and age, you know that this world is completely fucked. So it's like going between the batshit crazy news and what they're talking about on this show. And it was a little jarring, but, you know, let's get through it.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. It's just sad because Rony was a jewel in the crown, and now it's a scroll show. But you know what? It is what it is, and hopefully we will move onwards and upwards. So we are still in Puerto Rico. We're at dinner, and Rebecca has just told Bryn that she's a bully. Basically, you've been a bully ever since I met you. Like, I am literally having diarrhea because of how much you're bullying me. And Bryn's like, oh, you want to call me a bully? I don't bully people. I'm just a little girl. Little girls can't believe. Sexy baby.
Ronnie Karam
And she's like, you have been rude ever. Ever since the moment that we met Bram. And Rebecca really does like those. That squint's finally paying off. Because when we first saw the squint on Rebecca, we were like, why is she pretending she's so nice? That squint is not a nice person squint. That person is a reading squint. You know, that's a judgy squint. And not to say that judgy people can't be nice, but that's just to say there's a strong line of judge in there. And it came out today, and I enjoyed it.
Ben Mandelker
Strong line of judge. No. The moment I saw her squinty, her squinty eye, I was like, oh, I love her. I love her. Because there was so much judgment. Like, if you can have so much judgment without even saying words, it's like an automatic win in my book. And like you said, it's like we've been like. Like she's been soaking it all in. And finally the lasers came out of the squints, and she's like, grand. You're a bully. So.
Ronnie Karam
And the girls got mad at her because. Not mad, but they were, like, a little disappointed, it seemed like, because they wanted her to be a housewife, like, have her bitch moment and tell off Bryn. And they felt like she was being a little too lukewarm. I thought she was perfect because she really put Bryn in her place in a way that was like, you're a bad little girl, and I don't care enough about you to yell at you. And I'm still not gonna yell at you. Yes. And I'll even apologize to you if you want me to, because you're that stupid. And it was embarrassing. Like, by the end of this episode, I was not only scrolling on my phone, but I was just, like, so embarrassed for Wren. Like, I was mortified. I was like, this girl tried it, and she's not only fail just looking childish, now this girl's just making her look stupid, you know?
Ben Mandelker
But also I was like, you know, so, you know, I'll get into this in a second. I'm gonna hold my point for a moment. But the point is that Rebecca basically, like, has Brin, and. And. And Bryn is like, you know what? Like, Jessel is trying to have a baby girl with her husband, and I'm, like, freezing my eggs and, like, crying every night. And then, like, you know, Uma's trying to get, like, knocked up for, like, a few months, and you're, like, sitting around saying, people like me. Oh, Rebecca's like, squint. They don't really have anything to do with it. Squint, squint, pew, pew. And Bryn's like, oh, yeah. Like, one day you'll know how it's like to have children. Like, you don't know now, like, when you have children. Like, no, matronize me and I'll be motherhood.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, God, Bryn, shut up. Okay, Let me make this very easy for you. There's things you don't understand about being a giraffe because you're not a giraffe. So you don't know what it's like when someone's like, oh, my God, these. The leaves at the top of the tree are the hardest to eat. You don't understand it because you're not at the top of the trees. You are not a giraffe. Okay, I'm sorry. You can't just have somebody feel for you and pretend. You don't get to pretend to be a giraffe and get everybody to pretend along with you. It's not how it works, okay? And you're not a mother, and you don't fucking understand, period. Go cry somewhere else, you fucking baby. You don't understand what it's like to be a mother. But you do understand what it's like to be a. A child. That's for sure.
Ben Mandelker
And let me tell you something. This is coming from two queens here who cannot stand when people are, like, talking about, like, well, as a mother. As a mother, it's like our least favorite thing. And we don't like it when people say, like, I don't like it when people are like, are you gonna have a baby? You're gonna have a baby. I'm like, I'm not gonna have a baby. I'm not gonna have a baby. Okay, so I get all that.
Ronnie Karam
But I still see that now.
Ben Mandelker
But I still say that Rebecca Minkoff has children crawling all over her bed and she just wants some peace and quiet. And I can concede that. I can concede that.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, we have to. You know, look, I don't want. I don't want kids, and I don't love people using the mother now. So I get everything that you don't understand. Like, I don't even like kids getting to go onto the plane before me. I'm like, is that a handicap now, being a child? No. Get in fucking lawn like everybody else. I had to buy the early bird to get my seating group A. And now you get to. Did you serve in the military? You're fucking one, okay? You're one year old. You have a purple Heart. Get in the fucking back of the line. Your mother didn't earn. She. Your mother earned you. Guess what? Your mother earned you a spot in the sea line in Southwest. Okay? You don't get to be an A just because you're a child. I don't even. Fuck that. But even I'm like, well, yeah, it's harder for her. I look at the actual mom and I'm like, okay, yeah, I don't get what it's. I don't get what that's like. That's way harder for her. So, I mean, I can sit here with my little Game Boy and crime in my A15.
Ben Mandelker
Now, I do think there are parents that use the parent card to get be. Like, I just have kids. You don't understand. And I'm like, you're using the parent card. I don't like that. But I just think in this case, I'm allowing the parent card because Bryn has been obnoxious. And she was obnoxious about this whole room thing. And she forced Rebecca to. To. To room. Just assigned her a roommate situation. And then she's like, why are you annoyed? And Rebecca's finally like, because I'm a parent and I want to have some sleep because I've got four kids crawling on me. And I guess what, I just had to design a fucking handbag that looks like Elphaba's crotch for this damn TV show. So I'm tired. I am tired.
Ronnie Karam
And also, Bryn's just starting this fight because she just wants to have a feud with somebody. It's just, like, not organic. It's just annoying. And now she got her big thing where she gets to. It's like, I'm really going to get everybody on my side in the audience by really bringing motherhood into it. Just. You're just bad at this. Okay? It's the 20th time I've said this in the past two weeks, but you're just sucking at it, and it's funny to watch. So then she's like, don't patronize me about motherhood. And Rebecca's like, the amount of attacking she's done to me. I mean, it is like, I have just been accused of terrorism by Oz himself. Okay, my purses are out now. Purses are out now.
Ben Mandelker
One short day at Oz. One long day at Bloomingdale's. Get the Rebecca Minkoff Oz Wicked collection now. Limited time only.
Ronnie Karam
The girl really needs to take a hike up the yellow bitch road. Am I right? Stupid.
Ben Mandelker
I will tell you, this show does remind me of. This show does remind me of Wicked. Mainly the part where the poppies opened up and everyone fell asleep. So Rebecca is like, you took that, like, way too seriously. And Brynn's like, I don't think it is seriously. Like, what you said was serious. This is what happens when you say things are serious. There's a serious reaction. I'm a beanie.
Ronnie Karam
And Rebecca does a good job here. She just looks at her and she squints and she goes, great.
Ben Mandelker
I love that. Great.
Ronnie Karam
So Raquel's like, I'm excited to see this side of Rebecca. Maybe she just needed a little vacay. And Bryn's like, well, contrary. What am I sound like? I actually don't want to fight with you. Well, now you don't, because you look stupid because you just lost this fight, so too late.
Ben Mandelker
And, you know, Bryn's saying this because the expected response is Rebecca saying, I don't want to fight with you, too. I actually really like you. But instead of Rebecca goes, well, then you can stop.
Ronnie Karam
And by the way, just. It feels like it. Well, moving on. Okay, well, you don't get to say moving on. You're the Person who ran the car into the innocent victim. You're not the one who gets to decide to move on. That's a hit and run. Okay. The victim gets up and walks away and says, okay, it's time to. It's time to move on.
Ben Mandelker
Now the house in Newport beach, that has a dent in it gets to say, time to move on. But you know what?
Ronnie Karam
Also don't John's daughter almost got to say this. Time to move on.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. I have two different. I have two separate rants that I would like to intertwine if I can possibly.
Ronnie Karam
Number one, act one.
Ben Mandelker
Act one. Act one is Bryn. You can't talk. You can't be coaching Rebecca on camera saying, come on, you got to give it back a little bit. Spice it up. You can't be talking about all this time you, oh, you're doing the prank. You're going to lean into it because you want to spice it up. You want to lean into the housewives stuff. You're all about this. And yet now we finally have a fight that, like, I personally am invested in and I think is a good one and could be entertaining. And then you just are going to be like, okay, well, we should just move on. No, we sat through a boring season. Let us have a full. A full fleshed out fight. You don't get to do that. Defying gravity and close Act 1, Act 2. Okay, Raquel, Raquel, I'm going to come for you a little bit here too. Okay. I'm going to. This is the last time I'm going to do this.
Ronnie Karam
No, not Raquel. What did Raquel do?
Ben Mandelker
This is a minor one. This really should have been act one. But like, Raquel, here's the thing. This should been the overture.
Ronnie Karam
This is the Act 2 lull. Like, before.
Ben Mandelker
This is the getting M&Ms. At Act 2 intermission. But honestly, okay, I'm not going to keep doing this disclaimer about. I think Raquel seems like a cool person. She's awesome. Like, I like her personality. Please know, going forward, any criticism of Raquel has that couch in it. I'm just sort of sick of doing that disclaimer. I don't even know why I feel like I have to do it anymore. But that being said, Raquel's kind of a dud as a housewife, if you ask me. She's nice. She has shared some very emotional moments that I've. That I have enjoyed. But, like, for her to come on here and be like, oh, I'm excited to see this side of Rebecca Maybe she just needed a little vacay. They're all like, finally, Rebecca, you're not being boring. I'm like, have you guys held a mirror up to your faces and see what's happened on this season? Rebecca, to me has been one of the most interesting parts of this season. And you guys are all sitting here doing pranks and being boring as fuck. So stop coming down on Rebecca when you guys are the ones who need to be doing the heavy lifting because you guys are the full fledged housewives.
Ronnie Karam
Well, yeah, Rebecca, I mean, I disagree that Rebecca is bringing a lot either. I mean, I love her squint and everything, but. And I think it's fun to talk about her, but I don't know that any new person has added a ton. I agree about Raquel. Like, I really like her. But here's the difference, I think in what you're saying is. Here's where I would disagree is I think that Raquel has tried, like, she's tried getting in the mix. She's like, listen, I don't like that Erin took all this information and twisted it and tried to make Brynn look bad and I'm making a stand. She did try to get on on that, but it was such a stupid fight that it ended really fast. Cause it was very confusing. And then there was one other thing that she was willing to fight about and she tried it and it was just another stupid fight. It was just so bad. It's like you're coming into a cast where people don't really understand how to do it. You know what I mean? It's like being in the supporting cast of a bunch of non lead characters. No one knows what they're doing on this show. So she's trying, but she doesn't have really anything to grab onto. So I'm not going to blame her on that. Now the other ones, yeah, I just.
Ben Mandelker
They're coming down on Rebecca. They're coming down Rebecca for not being interesting. But like, what are you guys doing? I mean, I think some of them are trying. I think actually Psy. I cannot believe that psy is. Is on the upper echelon of this cast now. Because I do think that she is trying to make an effort. Aaron drives me.
Ronnie Karam
She's making an effort to be nice though. Size. Making an effort to be nice. And it's working, but it's like, it's. Well, she needs to have a balance of both right now.
Ben Mandelker
She's direct. She's direct. I don't. I just. It's so weird. To me, you know, people say, like, people say online that one of the problems with this show is that, like, the cast is not very authentic. And I think that unfortunately, they are authentic. And I'm like, I don't know why, it's just not really working. And I actually.
Ronnie Karam
They're authentically boring. I mean, we've seen. We know tons of people like that. I know people say that about LA people all the time, that LA people are really fake. And I've met a lot of them and they are. But then you know them for a while, when you do know a lot of that type for a while, it's like, oh, they are fake. But that's who they are. That's why they're here. They're attracted to being here. They're like moths that just, like, beat up against the light. They're just stupid and they're. They just want. They're all exactly the same, and that's all they want to be, and that's all they care about being, and they just care about getting into the light. And it's like they're idiots. But they're not fake. That's just who they are. You know what I mean? So they're, you know, they're just not. They're authentically. It's not interesting.
Ben Mandelker
It's just the cast does not have a chemistry and. And on top of that, production does not have a good vision for the show, and they are not good creating a good narrative for us to follow.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, well, we're. You know, that was a huge treatise to write when we still got an hour left. So let's keep. Let's keep.
Ben Mandelker
I know.
Ronnie Karam
Let's keep on my music also. But I know that when people are. And I didn't mean you, I meant us. But I know that when people are really into a show and you come to Krappins, you want it to all be fun and us kind of like, loving. Even if we're hating it. Like, loving. And we do, we still have fun doing it. But I'm sorry, I'm not gonna fake it. This show's stupid, so if you don't like listening to it, I don't blame you. Just skip to a different episode because I'm not giving you what you want.
Ben Mandelker
A different recap.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. If you want to hear us about this show for an hour, literally stay here, because that's what we're gonna do. And if you don't, I totally understand, but don't expect anything different because I'm not giving it to you. Okay.
Ben Mandelker
I mean we still try to have fun with it. We still try to find the comedy and things and like, you know, we still poke fun, but it's just, it's so hard. Like you just want in terms. It's hard to watch Bravo put this shit up on the air and it's just like, just, just make it better. Just find, tweet, do something. Do something.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Anyway, it's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin commercial.
Ben Mandelker
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ronnie Karam
Cross river bank member FDIC. So then they try and SAI's like well let me tell you something. Earlier on the plane, people were wondering will bitcoin reach its $1 million milestone in 20, 20, 25? I was like oh God damn it. Did psy. Talk about reading headlines. I'm sorry, I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling through the news and trying to watch the show at the same time.
Ben Mandelker
Should we do headlines? Well, integrate headlines into our Roni recap to make it more spicy. Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
So I had to rewind it, but apparently Jenna was telling Sai that she has to get waxed because the hair on her vagina is straight like a wet cat. So now we get to talk about Jenna's pubic hair being wacky. And Jenna's like, I can't believe that she's talking. This is so. What?
Ben Mandelker
Oh, my God.
Ronnie Karam
They're talking about me. I can't. Crazy.
Ben Mandelker
She says. She says. I mean, for whatever reason, my hair, it's down there. It's just, like, straight. It's like Jessel's hair. And Jessal's like, so basically, I have Jenna Lyons pubes on my head. That's outrageous, everyone.
Ronnie Karam
So they do that for a while and then bring us. Ladies and gentlemen, Jenna Lyons. And Jenna's like, wow, I just can't believe I'm talking about this national television.
Ben Mandelker
Guys, we are such a funny group. I think we've proven to America that we earned our spot. We are, like, so funny.
Ronnie Karam
This was definitely a Ramona pooping in a closet in Mexico moment.
Ben Mandelker
So they get. They go back to the house, and it's cold. They're so cold. They're. I'm cold. No, I'm cold. No, I'm. I am cold. Like, a basic. So they're cold, and they're gonna all get into bed, and then they're just, like, talking about how cold it is because it's cold. The air conditioning is on.
Ronnie Karam
So Sai goes to Uba's room to hang out, but UBA has put a dresser in front or a nightstand in front of the door. She's like, what are you doing? There's no lock in this room. So that's what I do. I do the same thing. When I check into a hotel. Not only I put the lock, but if I'm sleeping alone, I move the fridge and I put it there.
Ben Mandelker
Doesn't feel like that's up to code, but that's fine. Good luck to you.
Ronnie Karam
She's the first person to see the hotel, too, when there's a fire and she can't get out in time. You didn't make refrigerators move easier from the inside? Terrible.
Ben Mandelker
Luba's like, oh, dude, I am not feeling good because of that fucking cheese. Oh, God. Cheese. Okay, let me see. Do you have a fever? Let me see. Oh, God. Oh, man. You know, I slept like a queen last night. A Queen. From the 1900s in a small bed. And Uber's like, oh, can I have my room back? No, that listing is no longer available.
Ronnie Karam
By the way, the Republicans are trying to push for Cheney criminal investigation. What? Sorry, Ronnie was scrolling. So then you know that a rift.
Ben Mandelker
In Trump world over how to make America healthier is going to be an issue. But.
Ronnie Karam
Sorry, scrolling. So then Raquel is on the phone calling her mom to make sure she's gonna come. And the mom says she's gonna come, but Raquel's like, I don't know if she's gonna come. And so psy comes in and, you know, they're talking about coffee and getting coffee and stuff like that. Everybody starts gathering in the kitchen, basically. And then Sy's like, oh, my God, I don't know how to use one of these machines. What is this? Coffee? This is ridiculous. Stupid. In New York, you know what? We got people who make you coffee. Like, what? What the hell is this?
Ben Mandelker
Oh, God. I know. She's like, guys, guys, guys, hold on. I'm gonna do a bit about. About Keurig. This will be really good on tv. What? How do I use this? So Raquel's like, I don't even know how to use it. Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
So she's like, what? You drink coffee, Raquel? No. You drink tea, right? She's like, I don't drink coffee. I drink tea. Yeah, Yeah. I was like, this show, seriously, give it 10 more seasons. Okay? So then they start talking about their moms because Raquel's nervous cause she hasn't seen her mom. And so it's like, I'm so confused. Why haven't you seen your mom in 10 years? And she's like, well, you know, she didn't want me coming out here after Covid. And then I had stuff going on, and now she doesn't want to come to New York. And so she's telling us that her mom was making excuses. Like, first she was saying it's because she has dogs and she can't find a dog sitter and she won't bring her dog. And then she has anxiety and then this and that. And Raquel's convinced that if she's still married to a man, this wouldn't be happening.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. She says there's different levels of homophobia. Like, oh, I love gay people. They're everywhere. But when it's your daughter, it's like, a little different. So she hasn't met her mom, hasn't met Mel in years. They met years ago. And she hasn't seen the kids and, you know, it's basically because of this, you know, the grant her Raquel's kids don't really have a grandmother, you know, and she says one of the most hurtful parts is that my children have been robbed of a grandmother. And they feel it. They feel the absence, and it's very difficult. And then Sai tells us that she will never not speak to her children. She would never allow it. And, you know, but, like, there's a lot of, like, old school Latinas who have a hard time admitting their faults, and they sweep things under the rug.
Ronnie Karam
And size like, you know, that's just like being a Nuyorican, you know, what are you gonna do? I mean, what are you gonna get your mom to admit that New York radiation levels is spiking because drones have been spotted in the area?
Ben Mandelker
What?
Ronnie Karam
Sorry. God damn it, Ronnie, Stop scrolling. This is a very important, meaningful scene. I was like, I'm so sorry, but this is more mother trauma. This. I didn't. This is. What the show did not need was another traumatic mother story. We've got literally 10 traumatic mother storylines. Get something new, okay? I need a new factory line of trauma. If you're going to bring me trauma, at least give me fresh fucking trauma.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So then she's like, well, I was speaking on the phone to my mother and she was explaining she's got these heart palpitations that she's been getting, and she thought she was having a heart attack. And I asked her before, and she was like. I said, is it anxiety? And she goes, I don't know. And, you know, normally she said, no, it's not. But this time she said, I don't know. And I just feel like it's scary. And like children, we're just more open in our generation. And, you know, I understand why she has heart palpitations because, you know, the killing of the Russian general sends a message, but it doesn't change the war.
Ronnie Karam
Sorry.
Ben Mandelker
Scrolling, scrolling, Ronnie, scrolling.
Ronnie Karam
So then size. Talking about how, you know, it was really rough with her mom being a drug addict and, you know, her husband was like, why do you keep having her back in her life? And you're like, well, it's my mom, you know, and even though your mom morphs into somebody different, it's still your mom. And she's like, you know, and now, like, I feel a void coming to Puerto Rico because she still resents that her mom gave up on life for drugs, and she gave up on her for drugs, which I think is fair and normal. And fair. And so, you know, basically they're like, let's break the cycle.
Ben Mandelker
So boring. It's so boring.
Ronnie Karam
I'm like, you guys should break the cycle. You guys should break the cycle of talking about this on every single episode. Because literally, I can't.
Ben Mandelker
I can't. It's very sad for Psy. I appreciate her emotional honesty, but just listening to you, I'm like, it's not.
Ronnie Karam
It's just enough. Because here's the thing. And I think it's kind of a generational thing because. And it's not. Not really because Raquel is of our generation above ours. But I don't.
Ben Mandelker
I think, oh, yeah, maybe she is.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, she is. And I, I think. But anyway, the point is, it's. It's a modern thing to just like, define yourself by whatever your trauma is and to have to. Trauma. It's like you give each other awards based on your trauma. Congrat fucking lations. We all fucking have it, I think. You know, and I say this a lot on this show, especially recapping New York, but can we just start defining ourselves on our triumphs and what we got over and not what we're traumatized by constantly? I just. It's so boring.
Ben Mandelker
The leaves you ate at the top of the tree. You did it.
Ronnie Karam
Get your leaves, girl. Get your leaves. And that's not to discount their trauma or say it's not important. I get that it's important, but nobody wants to sit here and listen to mine. I can sit here for an hour and a half and give it. Nobody would listen to that shit. Entertain me. I'm coming to you to get away from my trauma, okay? Not to get in the hot tub full of yours.
Ben Mandelker
This is, again, this speaks to the myth, the, the, the, the, the. The poor direction of this show. I think they're giving us these scenes to give texture to these women and subtext. Subtext and texture and, you know, make us understand and see them as three dimensional people. I get all that, but also, it's just like, I feel like the, the big mistake with this reboot is that Bravo is trying to make these people our best friends and make us want to bond with them and want to hang out with them and want to aspire to be them. And that is just not what the Real Housewives is all about. And in fact, the goofier and sillier and campier these women are those. That's usually when we actually feel bonded to them and want to hang out with them. We all want to hang out with, like, Luann and Sonya. Well, maybe not Sonia. Maybe too much of a mess. Dorinda. Like heck. Someone said they want to hang out with Kyle Richards. I would get it. But, like, we want to hang out with them because we've gone. We've been in the trenches with them in the silliness of the show, not because we can sit there and bond over the sadness in our lives. Right?
Ronnie Karam
So basically, now everybody starts gathering and talking about pooping and coffee. And then, so Jenna comes in and she tells Rebecca, wait, I have a very real question for you. And Rebecca's like, I have a very real answer for you, so you can suck my dick, Bran. She goes, okay, you need to drop that now. Okay, but here's what my question actually is. Are you gonna get into it with Bryn? Cause, like, I'm just waiting for it. Cause, like, she's coming at you, and it's exciting. I'm really starting to be on this. Enjoy being on this show. I love that Jenna's, like, enjoying the mess now. She's like, go on, fight her. Do it. It's gonna be so fun.
Ben Mandelker
And Rebecca's like, but last night, did you. Did you not think that we had it out? Did you not see how much I was squinting? It was just like a machine gun of squints. Like, I was like, rambo. I was like, squint, Rambo. Was that not enough for you? It's like, no, squint. Really, Squimbo? How is squimbo? And Rebecca's like. She's like. I mean, it's like she's. Jenna says, no, I just. It just doesn't seem like you were having it out. She goes, oh, well, it's just. It's how you deal with a child when they're having a tantrum. Just squint at them. It works every single time.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, exactly. And she goes, yeah, that's how you deal with a child having a tantrum. So she's like, everyone thinks I'm bending it over and taking it up the ass. And they do. And it cuts to all the other ladies. Jessel's like, I want her to be Rebecca Minkoff, the big boss bitch. But instead it's giving elementary school like, you're the bully. No, you're the bully. No, you're the bully. I'm the one with vagina hair.
Ben Mandelker
And Rebecca's like, I mean, I think you can't throw stones if you like. And Jenna goes, if you live in a glass house. Oh, my God, thank you. I didn't know where I was going with that sentence. Jessel's like, well, I think she has a lot to get through. I mean, if she's gonna do this baby with Gideon, I mean. And re is like, really? It's like, yeah. And then Jenna is like, yeah, I know. I just. I didn't realize they were doing it together. I mean, but it's awesome. It's cool that they're going to try to do that.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And they're all talking about, wow, Gideon's so great, and, oh, it's not hypocritical at all that Bryn is mad that everybody calls her a sugar baby, but then the only person she can think of getting sperm from is someone she claims is a billionaire. So. And then Rebecca's like, oh, now I understand why Bryn's upset with me because she wants the baby. And as someone who didn't get pregnant right away, I fully empathize with that journey, you know? But just don't poke, because you'll be leaking out of enough holes soon enough.
Ben Mandelker
And I say, this is someone who made quite a mess in her virginity bed, which I still have.
Ronnie Karam
Literally just squirted.
Ben Mandelker
Squirted all over that virginity bed. So Rebecca's like, I think in just in a situation where it's just like, her and I, we can, like, sort of come to, like, oh, let's all get along, and let's just, like, be nice. And I can just remind her that I've succeeded in every way that she has failed in life, and I think that'll be okay.
Ronnie Karam
So then Rebecca's like, but why do people play these games? That's my question. And just was like, yeah, I have better things to do with my time. Right? Like, I have an empire to run. Right? And Rebecca just flicks her hair like, I sure do. So then Sy and UBA are talking about they're just taking pictures of each other, you know, which is what they do on this show. And then Marian, the mom, and the boyfriend Santiago, are arriving, and they come in and they hug and hug. And Raquel's like, it's been a while since I hugged my mom. Just feels so good. I hope this homophobic hug lasts forever. And it's cute, and the mom's sweet. The mom does give a little sigh to me personally, which is cute, because I'm liking Sai this season. So she's there and she's like, wow.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, great mom seems fine. But we know it's not. We know it's like, she's on camera. She's on best Behavior. But the moms. Yeah, find us. I'm not going to discount Raquel on this one, though, but it's just.
Ronnie Karam
The mom's going to rip off her sweater later when she gets mad, and there's going to be a Don't Tread on Me shirt underneath. She's going to be.
Ben Mandelker
Well, one of. One of the classic tropes on Bravo is that, like, someone will just talk for episodes about how awful their mom is, and then their mom comes onto TV and they're like, hi, honey, how's it going? And we're always like, what the. We don't see it.
Ronnie Karam
It's like, Erica from Beverly Hills. We were talking about this earlier. She's like, my mother that abusive. She ruined my life as a child by not appreciating me in the school play. Now look at me. And then her mom comes in. She's like, hi, honey. I love you so much. I support whatever you do. God damn it.
Ben Mandelker
So she introduces her mom to everyone and hugging. And Brynn empathizes because she hasn't spoken to her biological mom in 15 years. So she. You know, she. She imagines how special this is. They talk about bacalao, which I've never had, but now I actually really want to try it because it sounded delicious. All I heard was like, salt fish. And I love a salty fish. So, yeah, no, I'm. I. Give me some bacalao. Find me some bacalao, people. And then Rebecca is. I. I think I was like, now.
Ronnie Karam
That'S what I say. So they're talking about that. And then Brynn comes in, and she's like, good morning, my little vampire, and kisses Jenna on the lips. And the mom's like, Whoa. And then UBA's like, wow, did she kiss her on the lips? So I was like, that's bizarre. It's weird. So then UBA's like, did you kiss Britain on the lips? She said, you're kissing on the lips? And Jenna's like, yeah, she always kisses me on the. I mean, listen, she. She doesn't have a man, so. And then Jenna tries to kiss Sai. And then she kisses UBA on the lips and then Aaron on the lips. And the mom's just like, yeah. Raquel's mom's like, wait, my daughter's not only a lesbian now. She's traveling with a lesbian to watch a group. Great.
Ben Mandelker
And of course, Jenna leaves out Jessel. She's like, where's my smoochy smidge? On the lips. Like, what the heck? I literally look like her Vagina. Wouldn't you want to put her mouth in me? And then the producer is like, by the way, Jessel, have you ever dipped your toe in the lady pond? She's like, no, I never did that. So maybe I'll do that when I'm 56 and bored of parvet.
Ronnie Karam
I think puff. It's done that. Hold. Hold on. Let me copy Parvett. Have you dipped your toe in lady pond? Oh. Oh, all right. No, he's dipped his banh mi into ranch dressing before, and really like that. You can check it out on his latest Instagram post. What were we talking about?
Ben Mandelker
And then a genuine funny moment happens. And Jessal's like, so when was the last time you guys saw each other? And Raquel's like, about six years ago. And Marianne's like, yeah, it was a few months after Maria, so she came down to help me out. And Jessal's like, and Maria is your daughter?
Ronnie Karam
Hurricane Maria?
Ben Mandelker
More of this, please. More of this.
Ronnie Karam
So your daughter is your daughter is what, Badly behaved? No, it was the actual devastating hurricane.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, I'm not familiar.
Ronnie Karam
Why. Why was she named Maria? They name hurricanes. Do they? Wow. Wish I could name a hurricane.
Ben Mandelker
I'd name it My Children.
Ronnie Karam
I'd name it Katie, and then I'd ask it every day. Hurricane. Does Tom Cruise miss you? How we'd know if we went to the proper preschool.
Ben Mandelker
That's not how hurricanes work, Josel. Are you sure? Are we talking about lanterns? No, actual hurricanes. So she's like, what? I mean, in all fairness, that hurricane happened when, like, 2019, 2018. I thought Maria was a sister or something. I don't know.
Ronnie Karam
But, like, we had a newspaper, just all, Jesus and bring us. Yeah, read the newspaper. I guess they don't get those in space, which is pretty funny. And so then Aaron's like, hey, guys, wait for Carrot Head. Okay, Here comes Carrot Head. She's like, just all lives in Justelton, which is kind of like Bridgerton, where you're always getting ready for a ball. So, like, she doesn't know what's going on, right? Because, like, have you seen the show Bridgerton? Because it's like that, but it's like Jessel. So it's like Jesulton. So what?
Ben Mandelker
What's the deal with Bridgerton anyway? I mean, there's no bridges and nothing weighs a ton. They might as well call it land a few pounds.
Ronnie Karam
Sidewalk lights.
Ben Mandelker
Sidewalk. Hey, have you ever seen a show called Sidewalk Light? I have. It's actually what Bridgerton's really called.
Ronnie Karam
Sidewalk pound.
Ben Mandelker
Side. Hey, side. I guess it's British, though, so it'd be sidewalk. Graham street level lounge.
Ronnie Karam
So then they talk about the hurricane. We're, like, cracking up. Okay, let's go back to hurricane. Back to Hurricane Maria, guys. So they talk about how devastating it was, how there was no electricity, no water. The federal government fucked them over.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, it was terrible. There was not. There's just, like. There's no. The. The street lights were out for, like, a year. They didn't. Like, water would come in, water would come out, you know, Jess was like, I'm sorry, we're still talking about your boring cousin Maria.
Ronnie Karam
Well, Maria should pay her electricity then.
Ben Mandelker
I'm just saying it's not that difficult. Just, like, stop at the stop signs and drive forward. Why do you need electricity, Maria?
Ronnie Karam
So then they talk. So then they get changed. Because they're gonna go out, right? So they're gonna go to Old San Juan. And the mom's like, I'm not going to the hot weather. What? Are you kidding me? And Raquel's like, well, can we just pull out your iPad? Cause I wanna try and set it up quickly so the kids can FaceTime you. And she's like, oh, my God. So my kids wanna meet that or wanna see her. And she's like, no. And I'm like, but they've missed out on so many memories. And she can't even set up her iPad. Like, come on. And she's like, mom, did you charge it? She's like, I did. She goes, it's not charged. She's like, come on. I didn't even use it because it's.
Ben Mandelker
Fresh out of the box.
Ronnie Karam
But that's also taking things really personally that aren't personal. Like, mom, you haven't seen my kids, and you can't even charge your iPad. It's like, what the. Who charges an iPad? Why do I have to charge it? It's like a tiny little stupid square thing. Like, give me a regular notebook. What happened to paper and pens? All right, yeah. Where are they on that?
Ben Mandelker
Raquel, talk to it.
Ronnie Karam
Grandma loves you. Grandma love. Done.
Ben Mandelker
Is that for Maria? Listen, don't take it personally, Raquel. Once you get to a certain age, you do not understand how to use Apple products. That's just how it is. It's not.
Ronnie Karam
I think even if you do, I'm starting to think that that. That older people, my parents included, just. They understand it. They just don't want to. Like, my mom will send me a text that says, call me, so you.
Ben Mandelker
Know, Apple tv they call me is like, I have a quick question. Apple TV is not working.
Ronnie Karam
That's what it's. I have to call her. It's like it's hard for her to do. It's like I can never find your, you know the proper number. I don't know where to. It's like just what? And then you call. Yes. And it's the Apple tv, which is kind of confusing even to me sometimes. It's like, why is the screen black for 10 minutes at a time on every one that I own? So just updating it just doesn't tell you anyway. But yeah, I think there's just some point where it's like, you're my child and if I want you to update my iPad, you're going to do it. And that's it. Hey prime members, have you heard? You can listen to your favorite podcasts ad free. Good news, with Amazon Music you have access to the largest catalog of ad free top podcasts included with your prime membership. To start listening, download the Amazon music.
Ben Mandelker
App for free or go to Amazon.com.
Ronnie Karam
Adfreepodcast that's Amazon.com adfreepodcast to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads. You know that feeling when you're at Ross and you find the best gifts for way less. Like brand name sweaters, the coolest kids toys and plush dog beds. Get that feeling with every gift and save 20 to 60% off other retailers prices at Ross. Yes, for less.
Ben Mandelker
So UBA goes to hang out with Psy and she, UBA was saying that she was afraid the, that, that there was gonna be a lot of tears. And Sai was saying like no, no, no. She's like my mom, you know, like, like they just ignore everything. Some mothers are just very tough and, and she's like mine, if she did something wrong, she just pick up exactly where she left off. Like we don't even talk about it. And you know, I think she just has the same sort of mom as me. Puerto Ricans, especially back in the day, they're just for just saying that. She's just saying that. They're just, we're not very emotional. Just would soldier on.
Ronnie Karam
All right, so then basically the Raquel and her mom are looking through pictures on the phone and you know, talking about the heart palpitations. And Raquel's like, maybe it's time to come to New York, mom. And she's like, what? Get on a plane. What if I have a nervous problem, a heart problem, I gotta get on a plane. Like I Have a fear of flying, you know that. She's like, but you'll be fine, you know? And she's like, I hope we can take a step forward. So then, you know, the mom's not going to San Juan. Old San Juan. So they go without her. And then we go to old San Juan. Say goodbye to Mary. Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
And now we're in old San Juan. And UBA has chosen to wear a kitten heel with a spike, which is scandalizing people, especially Jessel, because Jessel's like, how do you even walk like that? And Bryn is. Rebecca goes up. Rebecca tells Bryn like, hey, by the way, at some point I'd like to talk to you. I will not even squint. It'll be full eyed and I hope you will accept this. And Prince like, yeah, that'll be really cool.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So then Bryn's like, sorry, I was literally.
Ben Mandelker
Bryn's like, insurers are deserting homeowners as climate shocks worsen.
Ronnie Karam
Literally. In the recap, I was like, see, CDC confirms first case of severe bird flu. I was like, oh, no. And I was like, you're doing a recap, Ronnie. I have the headlines open just to read during this recap. And I actually started reading bird flu.
Ben Mandelker
Come on, that's not fair. We're still. We just got through a pandemic.
Ronnie Karam
You know what? But that's why I didn't even believe the pandemic at first because it's always like bird flu. Every year it's like, oh, my God, it's coming again. Here it comes. And I'm like, bird flu never gets me. You know what I mean? They've been threatening me with bird flu for 20 years now. Stop it. It's every year. You've got to come up with something new to scare me soon. They did. And they were like, maybe it's like the bird flu. I was like, I'm not scared. And then look what happened, you know, which was terrible. So anyway, Maria, right? God, Hurricane Maria. Those were the days. So then UBA and Sai are shopping together and it's wacky. Literally nothing happens for a while. Can we just scroll till something happens? Because.
Ben Mandelker
Let's scroll. Because it's like basically the group splits up into content creators who just like to take photos of themselves and non content creators. And then it just goes and goes and goes.
Ronnie Karam
Let's go to the dick pick portion. Okay.
Ben Mandelker
I would love that.
Ronnie Karam
So then Bryn. So they're shopping and Bryn is with Jenna. Wait, who is she with?
Ben Mandelker
Jenna and Bryn. And they're in A store with cocktails. And Aaron says, oh, my kids are FaceTiming me. And they're like, oh, my God, let's answer. So Aaron's daughter Layla is on the phone, and she's crying, and she's like, mommy, I just got a cut. And Aaron's like, oh, I'm sorry. Do you want to go home? She's like, yeah, but can I take an Uber?
Ronnie Karam
They're cracking up. She's like, sure, honey. Take an Uber Black. I mean, Jesus, like, this is New York City. Take a train. You know, you can cry all you want. No one will look your way, you know? So then they're shopping around, and she says, I wanna buy my husband something. He's a large. And Bryn goes, oh, my God, your husband's large. Okay, Ab. Yeah. And Jenna's like, I don't think there's anything large about Abe, but that's okay. Sorry. And Aaron goes, what? And she goes, yeah. She said, abe's a large. And then I'm like, I don't think there's anything large. Come on, show.
Ben Mandelker
Jenna was, like, trying to talk shit or whatever. I don't know what it was, but, like, it was awkward. And then she immediately is, like, taking. Taking it back because she's, like, giggling. And Aaron's like, oh, yeah, do you want to see his dick? And so then she pulls out a picture of Abe's dick, and they're like, oh, wow. They're like, okay, then. And Prince's like, for the record, I did not solicit this. I did not. Which I will give brun credit for that. So they're looking at it, and they're like, oh, this is great. And Br's like, oh, my God, I love Puerto Rico.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And Bren's like, I love everything. The people, the drinks. I love what it makes people do. And so Aaron's like, oh, she's triple baby.
Ben Mandelker
She triple baby baby seal.
Ronnie Karam
So then she whips out the dick pic, and Aaron's like, so do you think this is small? Joe's like, I take it back.
Ben Mandelker
Wow.
Ronnie Karam
Wow, Abe, Wow. And Brent's like, oh, my God. It's, like, so pretty. So they sit there talking about his wiener for a while. And Aaron's like, that's why I have a lot of sex.
Ben Mandelker
And now they talk about the penis.
Ronnie Karam
For a while now. Are you offended by this penis? What do you think?
Ben Mandelker
Offended? Well, I think it's, like, a little weird just to, like, show, like, a private, like, dick pic or whatever the. The analog would be for for like a woman, I guess. Like, I think a nude pick in general of like, like the person you're with just to show it to other people on TV too. I don't know. I mean, but that could just be their relationship. I mean, if they're cool with it, then I don't care. But, like, I don't think I would.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, I think it just depends on the reaction of the person. You know what I mean? Like, if. If he's upset by it, then I guess he would have something to stand. He would have a leg to stand on for a third leg to stand on, apparently. But yeah, he would have an issue then I guess it would be an issue. I don't really care. I mean, the Internet's pretty outraged about it. I. I don't care. I'm like, wow, at least people are getting worked up over something on this show that's good. But like, I don't care. And I have a feeling that they probably swing or do something where they're. Or at the very least share dick pic. Like, she probably shares dick pics with her friends all the time. You know what I mean? Like, some people are just like that. I don't know, maybe we get it more because we're gay and it's not that big of a deal.
Ben Mandelker
I just am like, like, I wouldn't do it. But if their relationship, if that's like within the parameters of their relationship, then I don't really care. So the. So now they all go to lunch and they're all sitting around and they're all talking and Jenna is like, she's like, oh, uba, I like your. Can I touch your boobs? And she's like, no, squeeze them. Don't do it. Like a basic. They're the best. My ass feels the same and I don't even work out. This is a non basic ass.
Ronnie Karam
So they talk about. They touch each other's boobs and stuff like that, because that's literally all we have on this show. And then they start ordering some drinks and talking about what they bought shopping. And Bryn goes, oh, I got a dick pic. I didn't even have to pay. I mean, this girl, like, she's just so obnoxious. Like, can you just make it two seconds without, like, spoiling the plot? Like, what is. Why does this have to be your plot? Like, you can't just hang out with your friends without throwing them under the bus within five seconds. It's like the first thing you do is throw your friend under the bus. It's just tiresome, man. It's like just an annoying person. Like, who was even friends with this person?
Ben Mandelker
She's just annoying. So Rebecca's. So she's talking about how she got this pic that Aaron showed it. And Rebecca's like, what, you got something airdropped to you? And she goes like, no, airdrop to my face. We were picking out clothes for Eve, and the retail associate was like, oh, is this it? And I was like, oh, Abe doesn't need a large, and there's nothing large about him. And everyone's like, look at the picture of his penis. So they talk about the dick, and they're saying, it was a great dick, great dick pic, etc.
Ronnie Karam
And size. Like, he showed your man's dick to them. She's like, I don't got dick pics of David. I always try and get meat mail, but he's. He won't send it to me. And Jessel's like, if the tables were turned and Abe was going around showing pictures of Aaron's giant clit, I don't know, there would be a lot more sleepy people falling asleep to Aaron's clit because, you know, it's boring.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And Rebecca's like, it leads me to imagine, like, was it hard? Was it soft? And Raquel's like, I don't want to see Abe's dick. Even when I was straight, I wouldn't want to see someone else's dick. By the way, this is the other sign that when a show doesn't have any content, they ask, like, everyone to weigh in on some stupid. Like this. So it, like, it's like a carousel of people talking about Abe's dick. So then UBA says, it was like, no, not into this or whatever.
Ronnie Karam
And yeah, this group is not like, it's not like Jessel and Bryn, because Jessel and Bryn were like, oh, my God, this is amazing. And this group's like, gross. Why would you do that? And also, it's funny because this is the group that's constantly taking each other's pictures and, like, trying to get attention. So you would think that they would be the group that's like, oh, my God, a dick pic. Awesome. But they're like, no, gross.
Ben Mandelker
They're just happy with it.
Ronnie Karam
Tasteless, classless. Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
They're like, any JPEG? So UBA's like, actually, I have to say, I don't want it. I don't want to see it. Whatever. I wouldn't want it. And Raquel's like. She's like, oh, that's Weird, like, I don't want to see his dick. And Uba's like, I absolutely don't want it. I respect Abe too much. And she just basically winds up saying like. And Aaron's like, well, am I being disrespectful by showing it? Now I'm gonna feel bad about this. And she's like, I would be dumb if I show Oliver's dick. Literally. Like, I would never do that. You know, I. For me personally. So I think Uber's just saying where she stands on it. And then Aaron, of course, is like. Like, it's very hard for me to decipher what's going to trigger Uba's intense reaction. And I don't know why my personal situation with my husband and what I've shown is making her so upset. She's not so upset. She's just saying, no, I wouldn't do that if I did that with Oliver. That'd be stupid because, you know, she's basically saying, Oliver wouldn't like it. She's not like, oh my God, but this is such an Aaron thing to do is to paint uba. Like she's having this big intense. This triggered reaction when Uba's just saying what everyone else is saying. Like, no, I. This would not be for me.
Ronnie Karam
Well, yeah. And also, of course, it was inappropriate to share your husband's dick, you weirdo. Like, sorry, don't make that someone else's fault. It was your weird, you know, it was your weird choice. So she's like, now I'm questioning myself. Like, should I not have shown my girlfriends, my girlfriends a picture of a dick pic? Like, I'm a girls girl. We do this. So Bryn's like, I mean, it was tasteful. And Jenna's like, it was fantastic. Really? It was so good. I mean, artistically, the mushroom, it was good. And Aaron's like, well, Sy doesn't believe it. Side's like, I don't give a fuck what size is. I don't care if it's small. Big, that's your thing. That's your baby. Like, you know what I mean? And Aaron goes, that's a dick. It's not my baby. She goes, that's your man is what I'm saying. It's none of my business and I'm blessed. Does anybody want to see me sniff off a shoe or stab myself with a bottle? Because I'll do it.
Ben Mandelker
So I then looks at Jessel's feet and she's like, oh, my God, look at, just, hey, have you ever seen that Kim Kardashian in those plastic shoes when they were, like, swollen and you know, like, huh, well, look at Jessel's feet, because she also has plastic shoes and her feet are swollen, so her feet have to. She can't even wear her shoes anymore. Oh, my God.
Ronnie Karam
So she takes a picture of her ugly feet under the table and then starts showing people the side by side of their pictures and sides like, oh, my gosh, should I put a toast in the group chat? I'm gonna. And Rebecca's like, oh, wonderful. And so Aaron's like, oh, my God, she sent that to the whole group. And everyone's like, check your phones, you guys. Oh, my God, who wore best, Kim K or Jessal? And Jessel's like, that is so fucked up. I was walking around, what do you want? I had sweaty feet.
Ben Mandelker
The show is running on fumes. Seriously.
Ronnie Karam
So then they start judging her feet, and then she's upset because they're, like, judging her feet and it's not fair. And then everyone's like, oh, my God, her feet are so ugly. And then Bryn's like, well, that's kind of hypocritical. Is it Bryn who is like, it's hypocritical. Like, these are the girls who are so offended over. Oh, no, that's later in the car. We'll get to it soon.
Ben Mandelker
So they asked Raquel some more questions about her mom. And I don't care.
Ronnie Karam
I'm not talking about this anymore. Like, I'm not doing it. I don't care if she does. I'm not doing it. Then they talk about Jessel wanting kids again and blah, blah, blah. So then they decide to go home. Then they talk about the mom again and how wonderful. I can't with this show. Okay, so we go back to the van, and Brynn is like, oh, my God, Aaron, I love how they tried throwing you under the bus, sharing a consensually given photo of your husband of 10 years. Yeah, consensual is giving her the photo. It's not showing it, but still, it's another business.
Ben Mandelker
And look at Bryn trying to agitate people again.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, of course. She started this whole thing. You know, she started it as usual, and now she's trying to keep it going. So Aaron's like, yeah, it made me, like. It made me. It made them mad that he had a big dick. It made them mad that he had.
Ben Mandelker
A big dick or they didn't know. They were just like. It feels sort of like a violation of his privacy a little Bit. And Bryn is like. And UBA was about to go crazy, you guys, for so much talk about gaslighting on this show. Like, there's a. Like, I don't know whether or not this is the correct definition. This seems to be the colloquial definition, the informal definition. You guys are really gaslighting Uber right here. She just thought it was tacky, and you guys are making it seem like she was having this giant, loud, violent reaction.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, truly. So then Bryn's like, they don't understand humor. They really don't. So then now back at the resort, a lot of small talk. A lot of small talk. Tons of small talk. Let's get to this fight. Let's just fast forward the fight. I'm going through my notes here. Aaron Rodgers Netflix docu series 10 Biggest Revelations.
Ben Mandelker
Let me see a tequila bottle in Aaron's mouth as she lives. Oh, there's a. There's a body shot and everything.
Ronnie Karam
And Hungry Redraws electoral map. As Orban's party slumps in the polls, Maloney hails Italy's newfound stability.
Ben Mandelker
Scrolling, scrolling.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, so Rebecca pulls Bryn for a time weather accent. Okay, so Bryn pulls. Rebecca pulls Bren aside. And so Bren's like, you can go first. She's like, well, do you want Aaron here? She goes, yeah. I mean, she's my friend, so. Yeah, she's gonna tell her a twisted version anyway, so just let her hear the real version, you know?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
So Rebecca's like, okay, I apologize. I didn't know you were triggered. And so Bryn's kind of taken aback. And she's like, okay, well, then I'm sorry I ripped your head off. And she goes, yeah, I didn't know you were going through a whole thing. So Bryn's like, okay, this girl's gonna let me have my. I'm sad about not ever getting pregnant, even though I didn't really want to before story into a thing. So Brynn's like, okay, she's gonna give me my storyline, so I'll be nice.
Ben Mandelker
And then Bryn gives kind of like a template apology. It was actually a good apology because she kind of hit all the right notes, but it was actually funny to me because it was. It almost felt like she'd gone to HR and they said, here's how you should apologize to someone. She's like, I'm sorry for ripping your head off. That's not cool. And it's not okay. Even if I'm going through stuff, it's never okay to have that reaction. Thank you for Being the better person and apologizing and initiating this conversation. But I should be the first to apologize because it wasn't right. My reaction was a reflection of me and my insecurity and not having anything to do with you.
Ronnie Karam
So then we transition into her story. So then she's like, well, I'm fully aware that I don't have kids, and I think about it every day and I cry about it every day, like, right now. And she says that she doesn't have kids. And so she freaks out when people say stuff like that because she understands what it's like to have. Not to have kids all too well. And she tells us. She's like, gideon's not getting his shit together. I mean, he was supposed to go to London to the clinic and give a sample. And then, oh, my God, I had to pop over to my friend in the south of France and to his friend's place. Well, you don't seem like you want to do this. And I want someone who wants to do this. No, you don't. You want a fucking rich person. Okay? You don't get to bag a rich person for his money, who you're going to tie up for the next God knows how many years for his money for your child, and then demand that he change his lifestyle and stay at home with the kid. That's not how that works, ma'am. Okay? So if you're not going to be able to do this, don't do it and go find someone real who wants to do this with you. Stop wasting your time. You're bad.
Ben Mandelker
I love how she's, like, surprised that Gideon's not into it. Like anyone who watched that episode when she was like, so I was thinking, like, maybe you have a baby with me. And he just stares at her and blinks and gives her, like. Like a. A polite British smile. It's like. Like, I would love that. I would love absolutely nothing more.
Ronnie Karam
He's like, oh, wow. So you don't love me. You don't even like me. You don't want to be with me at all and give me what I want, which is you, but then you want me to be financially tied to you for the rest of this baby's life when I'm already in my 50s probably. Sounds great. Sounds like I'm going to get a lot out of this deal. Yeah, Br, sounds like you really sold him on that one.
Ben Mandelker
Hey, Bryn. It's like she's in her own TV show called Brinjurtin.
Ronnie Karam
This is totally Bridgerton material.
Ben Mandelker
Ever Hear about Bridgerton. It's like Bridgerton, but it's with Bryn and a British guy.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, so now where are we?
Ben Mandelker
So they kind of bond. And Rebecca's, like, says that her intention was never to hurt her, that it was just. Just. It was a cum. It was a culmination of, like, the first time they met. Like, Bryn was just poking and poking and poking and being an. Also, we see flashbacks of that, and Rebecca's like, I just was, like, that frustration, like, I should have just nipped it in the bud the first time. And I just feel like, why is she coming for me like that? Like, I barely know you, and I'd love to get to know you better. That's a lie. I don't. I actually have, like, very successful friends that I'm friends with instead. But, like, I just don't want to have conflict with you because you're just not important enough to have conflict with. So it's just, like, annoying that I have to have it. You know what I'm saying? Right?
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
So.
Ronnie Karam
Let'S see. So, yeah, they make up, basically. And Rebecca's like, you know, I get overwhelmed sometimes. And Brent's like, I get that. But Brent's kind of like, I don't really want to talk about you. Because Rebecca opens up about her being a mom, and, you know, she keeps going on. And Brent's like, okay, I'm bored with this now. And so Rebecca's like, okay, well, surface. Bryn's going away, so that's good. Now I get to finally meet her. And she's like, well, I'm just, like, in the place of opening up. But it's just, like, not everybody is willing to do that. And that's okay because, like, not everyone can share and open up like me just because I want you don't share and open up. You berate everybody and try and make every. And manipulate everything and manipulate and gaslight everybody around you and try and fuck them up and then start crying about it later because they didn't guess what your trauma was. So, no, you're not too open. I don't think anybody would accuse you of being too open, ma'am.
Ben Mandelker
But she accepts the apology and they hug it out, and they're gonna move forward and everything. And, you know, Rebecca's like, yay, they're gonna get many pedis and everything. And Brynn's like, maybe I'll have to go shopping. Maybe I'll get a nurse. Some wreck. Fine. So then they just say they're gonna just start over Start over. Start over. Yay. Everything is great. A new line in the sand. Three hours later, finally, the show gets a pulsy in. It looks like there's gonna be a big tussle next. Next week. Jessel's. There's Jessel drama, Aaron drama. Uber drama. Van drama. The best kind of stuff. So hopefully the show can kind of like right the ship next week. Because this, this episode was a real. This one was for a season that's already kind of dull. This episode was really, really dull.
Ronnie Karam
It's just. They're treading water. Just fucking end it. It's episode 12. Make it a short season. Why would you take a show that sucks and then make a full season out of it? No, any other show that sucks on Bravo gets a. No matter how good the season is, they get a 12 episode order. That's it.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, that's the thing.
Ronnie Karam
Andy's been all over this week like, oh my God. Don't wanna oversell it, but this reunion is amazing. Someone is really upping it in the outfit department. They're upping themselves every. It's gonna shock people. Jenna's in a dress. Let me guess, Jenna's gonna wear a dress and it's gonna shock every. I mean, come on, man. Like, just stop.
Ben Mandelker
I just, just like take it away. This whole episode should have been like a seven minute segment as part of like, you know, like whatever's coming up next week. But like this is this the age old thing when they have. If the episode order is too long, they've got to stretch out the content and then we as the audience are the one that actually.
Ronnie Karam
Yes. Why punish us? We're trying to support you. Don't. You're, you're, you're bashing our goodwill into the ground as an audience. And my favorite Internet comment is this show could have been an email. You know, it's like the show could have been an email. This whole show. So anyway, we'll still be back laughing anyway next week and the next 10 weeks that this is going to fucking air. I'm sure. When do you think the season finale is?
Ben Mandelker
Oh, geez. Because we got the holidays coming up. It's probably going to be in the first week or two of January, I'm going to suspect.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, well, let's pray. All right, everybody, thank you so much for being with us.
Ben Mandelker
Thanks everyone for being here.
Ronnie Karam
We'll be back tomorrow. Go, go listen to Beverly Hills and come back tomorrow if you want to hear us talk about how good housewives can be. Because both those Shows are killing it. We love you guys. We'll talk to you later.
Ben Mandelker
Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King it's always automatic with Ashley Otto Ashley Savone.
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Ronnie Karam
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Grinch
Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittney Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out, follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery App, Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
Unknown
They say Hollywood is where dreams are made, a seductive city where many flock to get rich, be adored and capture America's heart. But when the spotlight turns off, fame, fortune and lives can disappear in an instant. When TV producer Roy Raiden was found dead in a Canyon near LA in 1983, there were many questions surrounding his death. The last person seen with him was Lainey Jacobs, a seductive cocaine dealer who desperately wanted to be part of the Hollywood elite. Together, they were trying to break it into the movie industry. But things took a dark turn when a million dollars worth of cocaine and cash went missing. From Wondery comes a new season of the hit show Hollywood and Crime. The Cotton Club Murder. Follow Hollywood and the Cotton Club Murder on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of the Cotton Club Murder early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
Watch What Crappens: Episode #2660 RHONY S15E012 - A Visit to Old San Juan
Release Date: December 19, 2024
In Episode #2660 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the twelfth episode of Season 15 of The Real Housewives of New York (RHONY), titled "A Visit to Old San Juan." The episode offers a critical and humorous examination of the latest developments in the show, highlighting character dynamics, significant confrontations, and overarching themes that continue to shape the season.
From the outset, Ben and Ronnie express a palpable sense of frustration and disappointment with the direction RHONY has taken this season. Ben opens with a candid assessment:
Ben Mandelker [06:21]: "I am proud to announce that the streak continues as in the streak of boring episodes. And it resumed the this week back. Back to hating it."
Ronnie echoes this sentiment, emphasizing the monotonous nature of the current season:
Ronnie Karam [07:58]: "It's, this episode was really, really dull."
They both lament the lack of engaging content, suggesting that the show has become a "scroll show" where viewers are more inclined to scroll through unrelated content rather than being captivated by the storyline.
A central conflict in this episode revolves around Rebecca Minkoff accusing Bryn Terfel of bullying. Ben highlights Rebecca's direct approach:
Ben Mandelker [08:31]: "Rebecca has just told Bryn that she's a bully. Basically, you've been a bully ever since I met you."
Ronnie adds depth to the analysis by discussing Rebecca’s non-confrontational yet firm method of addressing the issue:
Ronnie Karam [09:01]: "She really put Bryn in her place in a way that was like, you're a bad little girl, and I don't care enough about you to yell at you."
Despite the confrontation, Ronnie appreciates the subtlety of Rebecca’s approach, contrasting it with what the audience might expect—a more explosive reaction.
The episode delves into personal traumas related to motherhood, with both Raquel and Bryn sharing their struggles:
Ronnie Karam [10:10]: "I don't like it when people say, like, I don't like it when people are like, are you gonna have a baby?"
Ben and Ronnie critique the show's focus on these personal stories, suggesting that it detracts from the entertainment value:
Ben Mandelker [12:17]: "...it's a modern thing to just like, define yourself by whatever your trauma is and to have to trauma. It's like you give each other awards based on your trauma."
They argue that constant discussions about trauma make the show less engaging and more of a burden for listeners seeking entertainment.
Raquel's strained relationship with her mother is another focal point. The hosts dissect the authenticity and portrayal of this relationship:
Ronnie Karam [29:19]: "Someone's trying to break the cycle of selling a rich person for their money..."
The conversation shifts to the genuineness of the interactions, with Ben questioning the sincerity behind Raquel’s mother's behavior:
Ben Mandelker [37:29]: "We know it's not. We know it's like, she's on camera. She's on best Behavior."
They highlight the trope often seen on Bravo where mothers appear sweet on camera despite previous conflicts, questioning the reality of these interactions.
One of the most memorable moments discussed is Rebecca’s intense squinting at Bryn, which the hosts interpret as a silent yet powerful form of judgment:
Ben Mandelker [09:26]: "The moment I saw her squinty eye, I was like, oh, I love her. I love her. Because there was so much judgment."
This scene is praised for its understated yet effective portrayal of tension between the housewives.
A particularly contentious scene involves Bryn circulating a picture of her husband’s penis among the group, leading to awkward and humorous exchanges:
Ronnie Karam [51:28]: "Do you think this is small? Joe's like, I take it back."
Ben and Ronnie critique the awkwardness and inappropriateness of the act, finding it both bizarre and unfunny:
Ben Mandelker [55:01]: "A big dick or they didn't know. They were just like."
This moment is used to illustrate the show's struggle to maintain engaging and tasteful content.
The hosts dissect the shallow interactions during a shopping trip in Old San Juan, noting the lack of meaningful exchanges:
Ben Mandelker [48:54]: "Basically the group splits up into content creators who just like to take photos of themselves and non content creators."
They find the shopping scenes repetitive and uninspiring, contributing to their overall critique of the season's lack of depth.
Ben and Ronnie do not shy away from criticizing the show's production quality and narrative direction. Ben points out the absence of chemistry among the cast and the lack of a cohesive story:
Ben Mandelker [20:37]: "It's just the cast does not have a chemistry and. And on top of that, production does not have a good vision for the show..."
They argue that the producers failed to create a compelling narrative, resulting in a disjointed and unengaging season.
Despite their critical stance, Ben and Ronnie maintain a level of humor and hope for future episodes. Ronnie suggests that the upcoming reunion might inject much-needed drama:
Ronnie Karam [67:06]: "...this reunion is amazing. Someone is really upping it in the outfit department."
Ben remains skeptical but concedes that the reunion could potentially turn things around:
Ben Mandelker [67:27]: "A new line in the sand. Three hours later, finally, the show gets a pulsy in."
The hosts conclude with a resigned optimism, anticipating that the show will find its footing in subsequent episodes.
Watch What Crappens wraps up the episode with a strong critique of RHONY’s Season 15, emphasizing the need for more engaging content and authentic character interactions. Ben and Ronnie's analysis offers listeners a blend of humor and honest appraisal, reaffirming their commitment to dissecting Bravo's offerings with both love and ridicule.
Notable Quotes:
Ben Mandelker [06:21]: "I am proud to announce that the streak continues as in the streak of boring episodes."
Ronnie Karam [09:01]: "...you're a bad little girl, and I don't care enough about you to yell at you."
Ronnie Karam [12:17]: "...define yourself by whatever your trauma is and to have to trauma. It's like you give each other awards based on your trauma."
Ben Mandelker [20:37]: "It's just the cast does not have a chemistry and. And on top of that, production does not have a good vision for the show..."
Ronnie Karam [51:28]: "Do you think this is small? Joe's like, I take it back."
This comprehensive summary captures the essence of Episode #2660 of Watch What Crappens, providing an insightful and engaging overview of the hosts' take on RHONY Season 15 Episode 12. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the podcast, this summary offers a clear picture of the discussions and critiques presented by Ben and Ronnie.