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Watch what crap is. Guess what happens when there's so much happen happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?
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Well, hello, Ben, are you there? I was gonna. I thought you were gonna do then.
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I was about to. You saw my mouth. I go what and then you go, well, hello.
B
Oh, I thought you were talking and I didn't hear you. So I was like, oh, God, are we already this whole thing up? Well, welcome to an extremely professional opening of Watch what Crappens. Ben, take it away. Sorry, I boned that one.
A
It's all good. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me is the wonderful and lovely Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie, how's it going?
B
Hi. How are you, Ben?
A
I am great, thanks. We are here. It's Monday. Normally this is our Potomac day, but you know, we wanted to take the week off so we're pre recording a trailer trash of Summer House. This trailer came out at the end of last week and what a perfect way to set up Christmas week then by breaking down every single frame shot and everything on this trailer for Summer House season nine. Can't believe this show is at season nine already. But before we dive into that, of course, go to watchcraftmans.com to get your tickets to our live shows. We're going all across the country. They start next month in just in about a month from today, I think, or tomorrow. Really excited for that. We have the crappies on February 1st. That's gonna be in New York City. So come join us for that. That'll be a wonderful show with guests and we always have a great that. And then we are going to be going all across North America. The schedule is on our website, watchcrans.com and then also check out our Instagram. Instagram.com watch what crappins. Because we are trying to get your input to help us form the ballot because we will be opening up voting for the Crappies in January. So go do all those things. And thanks for being here.
B
Yes, everybody. We sure love you guys. Welcome to another season of summer housing, everybody. Super exciting. Lots of what's going to happen because Carl and Lindsay, that whole thing was a clusterfuck last year. Will it be this year? Lindsay is preggers. Is that going to be a clusterfuck? Like what? How are you pregnant in the summer House?
A
Yeah.
B
You know what's going on with Carl's soft launch? You know what I mean? Carl has launched. You know, Carl launched his soft penis many years ago on this show, but now he's launching actual soft drinks, which he thinks he invented the term soft drinks hilariously enough or brought it to America. In Europe, they have drinks that don't have alcohol and they refer to them as soft. So I'm bringing that concept to America. Don't tell Coca Cola, Joker, Large Purveyor of soft drinks. But anyway, so many, so many questions. Will Paige stay out of bed this season because she got out of bed last year? Will Amanda just keep whining? Will Amanda ever say anything seriously or just whine a lot? I don't know.
A
Will Kyle treat Amanda like again? Maybe.
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Yes.
A
Seems like he might as a.
B
For sure. Hey, how is Kyle's DJ career now that he's the only DJ left? Well, that's not true. He's the only male DJ left standing on Bravo after James Kennedy recently took himself out of the game with abuse, stuff that he's got going on. So that guy. So now we've got Kyle, you know, as the only man. We've also got Maddie, of course, from Southern Charm, from Southern hospitality as our other dj.
A
What about another question? Jesse Solomon. Will he sing another four song in a way that he thinks it sounds really good but is.
B
Oh, he will.
A
Very average. Yeah.
B
Yeah, he will. And also, what's going to happen with Wes? Because Wes and Wes took a lot of hate last year. He turned into a pretty big douchebag. And so he doesn't seem to be too deterred. Like he seems to keep douching on, you know, from what I've seen on Social. So will he be deterred? Will he change his entire personality because he will be gun shy after last season. What do you think?
A
I don't know. It'll be interesting because he was beloved last year and then all of a sudden. And by the way, yeah, he was a newbie. So he would actually. He actually qualifies for best newbie for crappies. You know, he might have been. Well, Bronwyn is probably gonna be the front runner on that.
B
But he.
A
There was a. He may. Had. He could have been the closest one to upset Bronwyn, except he had such a bad reunion. Such a terrible, terrible reunion that now I. I wonder has like the goodwill come back over time or are like. I personally think the last taste we had of west was douchebag. So it'll be interesting to see if you can turn that personality around and get back into all of our good graces.
B
Yeah, let's see, everybody, let's get going with the trailer trash of Summerhouse. If you're on Crappin's on Demand, you can see this video. If you're not, we'll try to describe as best we can what's going on on the screen. So we open with the Bravo logo over where New York City, the Empire State Building. And you know, there's no colors on it. Right. Which means there's nothing to be celebrated. Which is not a great sign for the season to say.
A
Yeah, in a New York minute. Remember that song?
B
I sure do. Let's check it out. Yes, in a New York minute.
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Anything can change In a New York minute you can be a dj.
B
Okay, let's press play on this sucker.
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One of the main comments from fans about this season was that so much of it felt so fun and light.
B
Do you think this same group of.
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People could send it under one roof or has that ship sailed? What do I.
B
So it was a Season 8 reunion. Kyle's in a terrible mullet. Amanda's whining even with her mouth closed. Wes has terrible, terrible teenage hair even though he's 30 year old. Douchebag.
A
Oversized blazer. Oh, my God, he looked like he was at the end of Big. Oh, my goodness. I hated that outfit on him.
B
The end of Big. Yeah, so. And Carl in his. His black and white shoes and still his white jeans and just a lot.
A
It's just like a lot. Everything is just like a lot, you know, I just want to be, like, treated softly, that's all.
B
Give me a little softness and tenderness. Yeah. Danielle. Forgot Danielle was still here. Danielle. It feels like Danielle was fired five years ago, doesn't it?
A
I know. Well, I feel like she's been fired from the show three times and she keeps coming back.
B
She really is the ward of this show. Okay, so can everybody make it at the make it back and send it under the same roof for another season?
A
Do you think this same group of people could send it under one roof or has that ship sailed?
B
Cut to Bethany Frankel in the pool. What does that have to do.
A
All right, you know what? I just tried this soda in my arm. Don't like it. It's terrible. Okay, what's it called? Coca Cola. All right, you know what? You gotta take it off the market. I'm sorry. It's just business, okay? If you have a bad product, you take it off the market. Sorry. Coca Cola, take it off the market.
B
I'm done with this. You know what? To all the investors out there, stop it. Stop it. Keep your money in your pockets. Why are you wasting my time? You know what I invested into this time? I'm old. I'm old money. I'm owed money for investing my time. All right, here's the taste test I'm holding. This one tastes like poop. Tastes like poop. Both of them tastes like poop. Stop investing in poop. Okay, by the way drones are sniffing out nukes. We're all going to die. Okay, have fun. Have a good day. Thanks for being with me on TikTok by.
A
What do I do? Just stay here, Paige. What if I die?
B
So Paige locks. Is that Wes that she locks into the coffin? It's a little short person, so I think it's Wes because it's a very little. Or it's a bad angle too, you know.
A
Well, and you know, you having that. That. That GoPro stuck right on your face when it closes, that just makes it all the more claustrophobic.
B
Well, that's how all these people are going to be buried. You know that, right? Millennials. Millennials are all gonna just demand that they have GoPros in their fucking funeral. They're gonna live stream their fucking burials. Have us.
A
If I die young, Barry, me with.
B
A GoPro PayPal prescription or Patreon prescriptions to watch them decompose.
A
Only corpses. Yeah.
B
Only bones. Let's go.
A
Yeah.
B
You just stay here, Paige. What if I die? This season on Summer House. A lot of twerking. Okay. A lot of. Lot of parties in the backyard. Paige is dressed like Wicked. The Wicked Witch of the West.
A
Wow, another tie in. They really are committed to this there. This is probably. They probably scheduled this party to air at the same time as the Oscars just to get or Oscar nominations just to get that wicked synergy going.
B
Ow. Paige, why'd you push me off this platform? I'm defying gravity.
A
Stupid. Oh, my favorite song from Wicked. It's called the wizard. And I. I dedicated to Craig, but when I sing it to Craig, I call it the Dummy and I.
B
So then we see the big Halloween party. What?
A
No one mourns this stupid. Go on.
B
So then we cut to twerking the backyard. A lot of twerking. An old person party, I guess. Oh, no, it's a Halloween party. I think it's like a Debbie Sierra are dressed like, I guess older people and they're.
A
But Halloween summer. Yeah. Then there's like a water slide.
B
Well, looks like Wes is bathed, so that's nice.
A
Yeah, that's good. It's fun.
B
Water, sleep. And then we've got crazy costumes. Let's see, someone's dressed as a shark. Kyle. Kyle's dressed as a shark.
A
Kyle's a shark. He loves an inflatable. He loves an inflatable costume. And then he's the first one to complain that it's too hot in the costume. Like, dude, think of another concept. This is not gonna work.
B
Short people Love those. Because they feel like they get to make more of a statement. You know what I mean? I mean, short people, if they could learn to twirl more quickly, they'd be carrying around those car wash signs. You know how people have those and they twirl them in the street. They need the attention. God bless them. Wes, the editors hate him. Look at all the bad edits he's already getting. We get an underwater from the ground shot looking up at Wes as. He's just looking gross. That's all I can describe.
A
He's a gross pirate with a life preserver and also, like, a life ring. So he's like a pirate who can't swim or something like that.
B
So.
A
Right. We have a Halloween party and a pirate party coming our way at the very least.
B
Yeah. Okay. And then Kyle on a mic. Let's see what he's saying.
A
Has anyone seen my wiener? Was it worth it? Ronnie? Wasn't worth it. Let's see what he's saying. That wasn't my wiener.
B
And then he's talking, of course, about someone dressed as a literal hot dog. Hilarious. More costumes. Wackiness. Laughing parrot. Parrot costumes. This is hilarious. Boys kissing. Weston Wences buns.
A
Look at that girl.
B
Solomon and Wes kissing. And a girl who's like, oh, my God. He's like, we're so getting married.
A
Like, this is. He's kind of like a dreamboat. Oh, my God. Yeah, I bet they're gonna kiss. Oh, my God.
B
Wait, is that Wes? That is Wes, right? He's giving me Tom Sandoval vibe. Not Sandoval Schwartz vibes, but I think it's Wes and then horses. Horses jumping into a little equestrian thingy. See?
A
Yeah. I love how we have no idea what's going on.
B
How do you do it?
A
Heard a rumor, Carl trying to blow a conc. Well, I think that, like, being sober just makes life tasks like these a little. Just a little harder for me. That's it. Oh, hold on. I could do it. Let me blow into it. Hold on. Look. Right. By the way.
B
All right.
A
Put your. Put your. How do you do it?
B
Heard a rumor, huh?
A
That there could be a girl.
B
I heard she's hot. She's so tall. Oh, my gosh. Got into the girl in the house. There's not just no model in the house anymore, babe.
A
No, I hear that they're putting in some ugly ass girl on Summer House. Jesse.
B
Yeah, that would be the news, actually, if he was like.
A
Well, that would be the news.
B
Changing up, casting. It's all about ugly People now.
A
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's not gonna be ugly.
B
It's probably his business. Rents due. What the Is that. What's rents due? Is that a business? It matches his shirt exactly, so I think it's his business.
A
It might be a. Here. I'm gonna look a little close. I'm. I'm changing screens. It says rents do. I don't know, because I feel like sometimes people say that, like, about working out, like, rents do. Gotta put in my. Gotta pay my dues at the gym, bro. Yeah.
B
Okay, so then they're excited for a hot new girl. She is indeed hot. She's so. Oh, my God. She's gone crazy with the lip injections. She's got a baseball glove on the front of her face. But very, very pretty. My goodness.
A
She is. I think she's an influencer because I looked her up and she has like 1.1 million followers, which is insane.
B
Wow. Well, she deserves them. What a beautiful little girl. What a beautiful little lady. I'll say that.
A
So tall.
B
Yeah. Oh, my God.
A
Not helping with the groceries.
B
What?
A
Look at her. Not helping with the groceries. Everyone's carrying a grocery bag and not her. Look at that.
B
For that. I'm the one with the bangs is the one who lifts things. So if anybody needs that, she's there.
A
Stop and shop. Okay. I love that sore.
B
Don't look her in the eyes. Not because she's snobby, but it'll. It'll be better for you. Trust me. Move it, bangs.
A
Yeah. Who's Bangs back there? Is that just like her? Like social media assistant?
B
I don't know.
A
So tall.
B
Yeah. What's your name? Lexi.
A
I want to make sure that this is like a thing where we're only getting to know each other to my last night.
B
Oh. So Jesse has a girlfriend. Her name is Lexi.
A
She looks like a real pro. Alexi. Pro.
B
So they're. They're little lovebirds. She locks them down right away. She's like, I just want to make sure we're only getting to know each other. You're not like everybody else. Because, like, everybody else is, like, harder to get to know. Like, easier to, like, get to know you because you're tall.
A
I hope Jesse Solomon enjoys his first true boy season because last season he skated by cuz he didn't date anyone in the house. He just brought randos into his room, banged him, and they left. But now he's going to get messy with someone in the house, which means he is going to now get. I think the boy edit.
B
I don't know. I think he's in with this girl. I think he's in good with this girl. I think this is. He's going to try and take over the Carl and Lindsay spot on this show. They're going to try and be like the new blood, I think.
A
Maybe. Speaking of which, here's Carl toaster with a soft. Huh? Soft lover boy.
B
Soft. This guy. Let me just say this is like my goal, Lindsay, this drink. So yeah, we'll do what, say it again.
A
Brick and mortar of this drink. It's a. It's a white tea. White tea and peach love. Yeah, pretty good.
B
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B
Cross river bank member fdic. Look at Kyle's face in this shot.
A
You know, ever since that stupid episode of Below Deck Sailing, I'm always keeping an eye on if there's three beans in the espresso martini.
B
And there are. Look at that. There really are. That's true. You're supposed to have three Life, wealth, health, happiness. Beth, Death smells.
A
One bean for salt. Luck, happiness and lover boy. Dude, look at this guy.
B
Can you guys tell me how we're feeling about Emerald 2 story? Yeah, what's going on with this guy? Okay, so there's also a new Guy in. Wow, really short shorts, kind of a crop top. Belly shirt.
A
Yeah. A little coffee mug, little necklace.
B
Not sure what's going on with this guy, but he's given extreme douchiness.
A
Yeah, like. Like, straight on douche. Big douche.
B
Oh, my God. All right, let's see.
A
Can you guys tell me how we're feeling about Emeril?
B
Two stories, 18 rooms, you walk in, two couches. Right there, a sex swing in your face.
A
Oh, God. You know, this guy listens to Joe Rogan.
B
He.
A
This guy listens to Joe Rogan to go barstool, sports, the whole. He does the whole thing. Every single everything. And he loves talking about tech. The whole. The whole. The whole nine yards, by the way. Also, look how bored Paige was in that car. Paige is so mad that she has to drive in the same car as Lindsay. Look, just go back to it. You'll see. Paige. I can't believe I'm so much more popular on the Internet, and yet I'm stuck with this old lady driving me. It's not supposed to be this way.
B
Can we be divided into cars with decent amounts of followers and cars with, like, lame amounts of followers?
A
Because I have a question. Who thought it was a smart idea to put grape jelly into the cup holder that's reserved for coffee? I. Let's get back to the point of that. Who is this guy? This guy is like. Yeah, just two girls yesterday. This man whore. All right, he's gonna be awful. Oh, my God. He's gonna be just the worst.
B
Yeah, he's not gonna be great, Ben. I have a feeling we're in for some frustration. All right, press play.
A
I'm pregnant.
B
Do you have names? Lindsay is not only pregnant, she's pregnant with a printed out poster board presentation from Kinko's.
A
Yeah, and everyone has to pretend like they're surprised when they saw this giant, like, ultra. Ultra. What do you call it again? Ultrasound picture. This giant ultrasound is, like, in the household. And Lindsay's like, I'm bringing everyone. Like, yeah, we know. There's an ultrasound that's been mounted on foam core in our living room. It's been there for three days. Also. I don't. I just don't. I don't get it. Maybe it's because I never had a kid, but, like, when people are like, look at this ultrasound. To me, it looks like messy paint. It's just like, I don't see anything. I see black, I see white, I see grays, I see swirls. It could be a hurricane, you know, for all I know. Like, it does nothing for me. Oh, I guess I can.
B
There is no pass or fail in a Rorschach test. But you just failed, so look like there's.
A
I guess they're sort of ahead the sort of a head.
B
Yeah, you can see his head. And it looks like it's actually sipping from a beer, actually, if you can. If you look at that, it looks like right here, there's a beer being tilted into the baby's mouth, which actually makes a lot of sense for anybody who's watched this show for more than five minutes, I would say, very cute baby. It's going to have a nice round head. You know, some babies have misshapen heads. This baby is very nicely rounded. And I would like to say also, as far as interior design goes, Lindsay's womb looks fantastic. I mean, it's very tastefully done. The ceiling, I love the textured ceiling. It's like a new texture. You know, it's not just dots, splotches. It's very nice.
A
Yeah. You can see an empty space where there had previously been reserved a sign that would say rad house. But, you know, now it's not there, which I think is good. I think it would have been too cluttered.
B
The baby is, like, really enjoying my Tecate. Hashtag Tecate. Hashtag ad. It was great. So did you actually see where she did sponsor. She did spawn con for her birth? Like, she literally popped out a baby and then was eating a sandwich from Jersey Mike's or something?
A
Yes. Like, wow.
B
Nothing like having a baby and then having a Jersey Mike's waiting for me.
A
Is, like, the perfect answer.
B
Make that money, honey. Okay, let's see.
A
Do you have names picked out? Named.
B
Who is we?
A
You don't live together, huh?
B
Oh, so, Lindsay, the questions start coming. Do you have names picked out? I'm going to name my babies stupid and stupider. So stupid Junior and a. Cutler. So who is this guy that Lindsay's with? And Lindsay looks like.
A
Yeah. And she's not living with him yet. So everyone's like, oh, my God, here comes Lindsay again. All that she wants is another baby. She's gone tomorrow.
B
So this cast for as much salad as they eat. This is the saddest salad I've ever seen. This is a pile of iceberg. Why?
A
Yeah, why? What's happening here?
B
Come on.
A
This is a west. This is West. West made this dinner. I'm telling you this right now. Okay. You know, now that you watch Love island, or at least were forced to watch Love island last summer, you have some context for this. I think they did this on this last season, but, like, a famous trope is that, like, the boys have to make girls dinner, and they usually assemble a salad that looks like this. And so I. I feel like this is, like, west on Love island making a salad for Lindsay as part of a challenge.
B
Yeah. Yeah, probably pretty much. I think that's a very good call. So. And I love that they're even. They have baby's breath. Here, get it. Baby's.
A
Oh, is that what that's called? That kind of flower?
B
Yeah, baby's breath.
A
Oh, baby's breath. Baby's breath. You don't live together? No, I just don't want it to feel like you're single momming this up.
B
Oh, Lindsay's giving her man too much freedom. Or is it vice versa?
A
Either way, we're gonna get a Danielle cameo this season. That's what this means. We're seeing her. Danielle looks fantastic. Geez, I don't think Danielle's ever looked any better. She looks.
B
This is definitely Danielle's best look. Her hair is adorable. Her everything is adorable. She looks great. Yeah. Yeah. Better in, like, tiny tastes. I mean, we've usually. It usually is a tiny taste. But look at West. Stupid West. Just every time west is on screen, I just think, gross. He's just gross. I mean, even fresh out of the water, he's gross.
A
Yeah, he's not. Baby's breath. His baby's poop.
B
His baby's stank breath. Baby poopy breath. Okay.
A
I don't want it to feel like you're single momming this up.
B
I haven't had sex for a year.
A
You're giving me, like, lemur energy.
B
Do you like lemur? I'm on sex for a year. Who did he have sex with a year ago? Because a year ago, I don't think he'd had sex for a year either. Right?
A
Yeah. A year ago was a year ago. He was dating. Dating Lindsay.
B
Yeah. I don't think he was having sex with Lindsay. I mean, maybe they tried it a couple of times, but wasn't there a thing about how they weren't having sex or it was just that the sex was really bad?
A
I don't know. But he. He left. I guess he just hasn't had sex since Lindsay. But I thought he was with someone. I'm so confused.
B
I'm confused too. But I'll bet this girl hasn't had sex in a while either, because who is this person she comes up to? Carl. She goes, you have Like a lemur energy. What does that mean? Is that a compliment?
A
I don't. I don't know. I don't think it's necessarily wrong, to be honest, because I can sort of see Carl does look kind of like a lemur right now in his pirate outfit. He's wearing black, white stripes, but it's kind of giving like King Julius or whatever.
B
Can I ask you a question? Do lemurs steal hamburgers from Ronald McDonald's? Because I don't think so. Do you know?
A
Well, I just want to say I'm actually going into brick and mortar with a lemur, so it sort of makes sense.
B
Let me. Let me ask you something. Could you do me a favor? Could it be a little soft? Oh, yeah. Tilt some back right down your throat. It's fantastic. I've actually got two right now. Let's face them towards the camera. Okay.
A
Put your lemon. Put your lemur weight on me. Oh, you're giving me, like, lemur energy. Do you like lemurs?
B
Very much. She's super into lemur guy lemurs, guys. So congrats. Finally found one. I've been looking. I would lemur energy for years.
A
How do you feel about lemurs with veneers haul.
B
Would you call them lemires? I'm done. I'm literally. I'm back, guys. Carl is back. By the way, it's Carly 9.0.
A
I forgot to mention, by the way, that Carlito, when we open up our software, when we have our hard launch of our soft brick and mortar, there will be a comedy night. So, yeah, just. Just remember this one. I'm going to write down a notebook. Kyle wants to be a dj. I want me to stand up, and I'm going to put this little lemur material. You're laughing. This is good. It's a good sign. My. My comment's really taken off.
B
There's a lot of right now.
A
Just be a little tender. A little tender. Put your weight on me. You're a fraud. And now I'm adding cheater to your resume.
B
You've been talk. Oh, hell no. Who's she yelling? Is she yelling about?
A
I don't know, but I like it. I love it.
B
Gabby's loving it. I love that this. They've just decided, listen, Gabby's a reactor. Let's just let Gabby react to things hilariously, because everything of Gabby so far is just being. React. Reacting and being funny. Love it. Yeah, I'm with it.
A
Okay. And now I'm adding cheater to your resume. You've been talking to this girl since before we broke up.
B
I pray for you.
A
I don't need you to pray for me.
B
I pray for this page is like, I love this. Oh, my God. God, I love Carl sometimes, really, I'm happy in my life, but God, he can still make me happy from across the table. Just roaster. Roast the.
A
Trying to internally memorize everything to tell Hannah on giggly squad must report everything directly to her.
B
So we find out that Carl was cheating the whole time, and west is.
A
Like, cheating with the Lord, I pray.
B
For you shirt was made into stitching. So anybody? Anybody?
A
Okay, great.
B
West is in a headband right now, guys.
A
Yes, Carl. Carl's saying he prays for her. Like, wisdom. When does Carl pray? I. Well, you know, his stepfather is a reverend, so maybe this is, like, his new thing is that he's religious.
B
Yeah, you never know. Maybe he's turned over a new leaflet, and this one says, you know, join Jesus Christ or perish.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
Jesus Christ. What?
A
Jesus Christ and Latter Day Lemurs Hall.
B
Limber Day Saints. All right, Ben.
A
I don't need you to pray for me.
B
It's weird to have a boyfriend that's giving hater energy, and, like, I hate watching that. Oh, boyfriend giving hater energy. His name is Craig. Here we go. Why does Paige look different?
A
She's giving. Actually looks a little bit like Penelope Cruz right there.
B
She does. Something's different with Paige. What is it? Is it her spirit? Is it her face? She doesn't look like it's work. I mean, is it just another year? Her hair is pretty.
A
I think she's not.
B
It's. Nothing bad was the eyebrows.
A
I think she's. I think it's Charleston. I think she's like. Do you know I just went all the way down to Charleston to sit outside by some stupid pool under an awning when I have this house right here? Do I have to travel on a plane to do exactly what I do right here? Answer me that, please. Oh, see, Like, I hate watching that.
B
You can't choose work all the time. I apologize for being strong and independent.
A
Hey, guess what.
B
I literally can choose work all the time, okay? Because I can be at home when I'm done with work. Okay, yeah, Great. Yeah.
A
She will choose work, and she should choose work because her work is much cooler than yours. And I say this.
B
I don't.
A
They're reaching. They're reaching the crossroads.
B
I'm sick of this. Like, who this is. They've been at the same crossroad for years. One of them does not want to move. Neither one of them wants to move. I don't like that. It's. The impetus is on her. It's really bothering me. He's like, have a store on King street, then fly there and go to it. Little fart.
A
Yeah.
B
But he also does have a banging house. So that's where it gets tricky because I think.
A
Yeah, he does house.
B
Right. I think the house is great. But like, oh, my God, they win. Thank you.
A
Yeah. But you know what, though, Pete? Oh, God. Paige will be miserable down there. She hates it. She hates it. No, no, he. The house. They can get a nice house up in New York. They can get a nice apartment up in New York. Yeah, that house can be a summer house.
B
Agreed. Agreed.
A
Thanks for being strong and independent. Me and Craig are gonna break up.
B
And everything I have will like.
A
And she's so.
B
Oh, no.
A
Everything I have will go away. Like my ability to tolerate stupid people or the new skill I learned, which is laughing at his jokes, which are always terrible. It's all gonna go away. I'm so sad. Can you. Are my tears sarcastic enough for you?
B
Literally. Who else in life is going to nickname me after a mediocre protein? I mean, what am I gonna do? Am I going to Bill?
A
It's like, chicken is such a top tier pet name for a loved one. And the fact that I wasted it on Craig, it just makes me so sad. Like the next person. What am I gonna call him? Like, cereal box? It just doesn't work.
B
I will, like, go away.
A
And she's.
B
Hold on.
A
He's flirting with Sierra. I don't trust her. I'm sorry. I don't trust you.
B
He's flirting with Sierra. This is the new girl, the new model. Now it's model versus model. I don't trust her. Sorry. I don't tr. Trust you. Did you hear me? You're her. You are her.
A
How old is this girl? Is she, like, 14? She looks. She looks like she's not old enough to be on this show.
B
She looks. Yeah, she's. She's 14. She's very young. Just put down the injector. Just. That's all I ask. You're so naturally beautiful. You're hurting yourself at this point, you still need to be able to drink a Coke out of a bottle. That's what I say. Okay, let's see. I don't trust her.
A
I'm sorry. I don't trust you. You actually. Come on.
B
Come back. You threw the first. I know. This is a Halloween party. But the fact that she's calling Jesse Solomon a sleaze bag and he's dressed like this in a silk Howard Huth robe.
A
Hugh Hefner.
B
Hugh Hefner. Rove. Sorry, we just were talking about that. On another recap, he's in a Hugh Hefner robe and, like, sunglasses at night. It's pretty hilarious. What did you think? Buy a neon swing or whatever this is.
A
And then we have Craig in a tricorn hat back.
B
You threw the first punch, Kyle.
A
You could have just taken a bread.
B
Everyone has to have. Oh, it's Kyle. And it's Kyle and Craig fighting about seltzer waters.
A
Kyle has been notably absent from this trailer. I have to say, he really has not had a strong presence. They're really moving on to the. The new generation.
B
Yeah, he's not doing great. And look, this isn't helping the dj. DJ Kyle.
A
DJ Kyle.
B
I just. I don't know. I don't know why it makes me sad for him, but it does. You know, it doesn't make me sad for him. He's living his best life. It makes me sad for this person right here, Amanda. It really does.
A
Yeah.
B
Amanda's like, wow, now I get to come listen to Depeche Mode mixed in with Adele and pretend that you wrote these songs. This is great.
A
Instead of doing My passion, which is designing bathing suits for women with big boobs at home.
B
And you know, she actually did that. And you know who has very little lines? Amanda. She hasn't said one thing. At least we've heard Kyle say. But we haven't heard Amanda say one thing, have we? We haven't even heard one single.
A
Not a thing. Not a pe.
B
God. Come on. You can't have her here without singing, Kyle. It's like having Cher without singing Turn Back Time. Right?
A
Precisely. That's my first thought.
B
The only reason I came here tonight.
A
Was so that someone kept his wife company while he pretends to be Diplo Paige. So good. Look at him.
B
Cut to Kyle just bouncing off a dago Yasmine.
A
Yes.
B
I'm a daze tech bro.
A
Yes.
B
She's being two faced with me. Why is she being two faced? Did you just say I'm being two faced?
A
How dare you?
B
It was slander.
A
Stop. You know what that means.
B
Don't do that. Yes. Paige versus Kyle. I'm living for this. I love this.
A
Kyle should be smarter than to mess with Paige in general, but especially on a season where Paige is. Is having some sort of stress with Craig. She's going to unleash it all on Kyle and it's going to be magnificent. Also, I love that Lindsay's wearing a bib that has a little doggy bone on it. I don't know.
B
Yeah. Kyle, what's that? Look at this. Oh, it's a girl. It's a gentle.
A
Oh, it's a baby. Oh, God.
B
It's a gender reveal with a lot of shells because look, there's piles of shells everywhere. And man, they really go to town at this gender reveal. Lots of food and Amanda's just trying to like scrunch into her shirt. She's so mortified.
A
I know.
B
But by the way, also, it's not two faced when someone tells you right to your face that you're a piece of shit. So I don't know.
A
That's true. By the way, Kyle, post mullet looks great. This, it's so nice to have the mullet gone. Look, it looks great. Just great.
B
Yeah, yeah, Great work. That was. This was great work being two faced with me. Why is she being two faced? Did you just say I'm being two faced?
A
How dare you.
B
It was slander.
A
Stop. You know what that means.
B
Don't do that to me. This is getting carried away. I'm leaving.
A
You guys cherish this. Your happy family. I know it's sometimes dysfunctional, but this is a beautiful thing you have. And I used to have that too.
B
This is Schwartz on sitting on the edge of the bed of the girls. You guys, you gotta, you gotta cherish this. Cherish it. Which, you know, he knew, he knew at that time. Probably now he has nothing. It's done. It's over. It's done. Yeah.
A
So I guess Amanda's just laughing at his face. They're just laughing at him like, don't even try, please. February 12th. That's exciting. Can't wait. Love Summer House. Summer House. I'm just so proud of our little Summer House for a show that people used to just make fun of. Well, people still make fun of it, but people used to, they used to be like, oh God, that show is so bad, I don't know how you can watch it. And now it's like one of the most popular shows on Bravo. So good job, Summer House.
B
Amazing show.
A
Doing great things.
B
Amazing show. Can't wait to have you back. And that's gonna be like one of the most amazing things in 2020. 2025, guys. That was remixed by Kyle. Get soft. Guys, thank you so much for being here with us. Have an amazing holiday. Okay? We sure love you guys. We will talk to you soon. Bye.
A
Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsor. Ain't no thing like Alison King it's always automatic with Ashley Otto.
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A
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh, she's jilping Hirsch She's a little bit loony Juni, my Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley let's go on.
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B
She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wonder.com survey.
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You can binge all episodes of the.
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Right now by joining Wondery. Hello ladies and Gerbs, boys and girls, the Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittney Broski and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery App, Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
Watch What Crappens Podcast Summary: Episode #2664 "Trailer Trash Summer House"
Released on December 23, 2024
In this episode of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the latest trailer for Summer House Season 9, offering their trademark blend of praise, ridicule, and comedic analysis. The episode is structured to provide listeners with a comprehensive breakdown of the trailer, insights into returning and new cast members, and predictions for the upcoming season. Below is a detailed summary capturing all key points, discussions, and notable quotes from the episode.
The episode begins with Ben and Ronnie promoting their upcoming live shows across the country. They encourage listeners to visit their website and Instagram for tickets and to participate in forming the ballot for their "Crappies," a fan-voted award system.
Notable Quote:
Ben [03:03]: “We are here. It's Monday. Normally this is our Potomac day, but you know, we wanted to take the week off so we're pre-recording a trailer trash of Summer House.”
Ben expresses his enthusiasm about the longevity of Summer House, noting disbelief that the show has reached its ninth season. He highlights the importance of analyzing every frame of the new trailer to set the stage for the holiday season.
Notable Quote:
Ronnie [04:22]: “We sure love you guys. Welcome to another season of summer house, everybody. Super exciting.”
The hosts discuss the interpersonal dynamics among the cast members, focusing on tensions and anticipated developments in the new season.
Lindsay's Pregnancy: Ronnie humorously questions how Lindsay, who is pregnant, will navigate her role in Summer House, leading to potential conflicts and comedic situations.
Notable Quote:
Ronnie [04:42]: “Lindsay is preggers. Is that going to be a clusterfuck? Like what?”
Carl's Soft Launch: Ben jokes about Carl's introduction of "soft drinks" to America, poking fun at his entrepreneurial spirit and questioning its originality.
Notable Quote:
Ronnie [05:34]: “Carl has launched his soft penis many years ago on this show, but now he's launching actual soft drinks.”
Wes's Behavior: The hosts critique Wes's transformation into what they describe as a "douchebag" and speculate on whether he will change his behavior in the upcoming season.
Notable Quote:
Ben [06:37]: “He actually qualifies for best newbie for crappies. You know, he might have been.”
Jesse Solomon's Singing: Ben anticipates Jesse Solomon continuing his habit of singing mediocre songs, maintaining his unique albeit average musical contributions to the show.
Notable Quote:
Ronnie [06:11]: “Jesse Solomon will sing another four song in a way that he thinks it sounds really good but is very average.”
Ben and Ronnie provide a scene-by-scene analysis of the Summer House Season 9 trailer, highlighting visual elements, cast interactions, and thematic undertones.
Opening Scene: The trailer starts with the Bravo logo over a monochromatic New York City skyline, which Ben interprets as a lack of celebration and a foreboding sign for the season.
Notable Quote:
Ben [07:50]: “In a New York minute. Anything can change. In a New York minute you can be a DJ.”
Character Introductions and Costume Analysis: The hosts comment on the exaggerated costumes and settings, such as Paige dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West and other cast members in over-the-top outfits like shark costumes and pirate attire.
Notable Quote:
Ronnie [12:14]: “Paige is dressed like Wicked. The Wicked Witch of the West. Another tie-in.”
Party Scenes and Behavioral Cues: They discuss various party scenes depicted in the trailer, including twerking in the backyard and interactions that hint at underlying tensions and alliances.
Notable Quote:
Ben [14:22]: “Solomon and Wes kissing. And a girl who's like, oh, my God. He's like, we're so getting married.”
Humorous Skits and Visual Gags: Ben and Ronnie point out comedic elements such as Carl’s soft drink venture and the inclusion of a character dressed as a pirate struggling with life rings, enhancing the caricatured portrayal of the cast.
Notable Quote:
Ronnie [13:24]: “He's a gross pirate with a life preserver and also, like, a life ring. So he's like a pirate who can't swim or something like that.”
Based on the trailer, the hosts make several predictions about the forthcoming season's plotlines and character developments.
Relationship Conflicts: They foresee ongoing drama between Paige and Kyle, especially with Paige’s impending separation from Craig, leading to intensified confrontations.
Notable Quote:
Ben [35:09]: “She will choose work, and she should choose work because her work is much cooler than yours.”
New Cast Members: The introduction of Lexi as Jesse Solomon's girlfriend is discussed, with Ronnie expressing skepticism about her influence on Jesse's volatile behavior.
Notable Quote:
Ronnie [17:32]: “She looks like a real pro. Alexi. She just popped out a baby and then was eating a sandwich from Jersey Mike's.”
Carl's Religious Turn: A humorous speculation arises about Carl possibly embracing religion, hinted at by his "praying" remarks in the trailer.
Notable Quote:
Ben [33:26]: “It's weird to have a boyfriend that's giving hater energy, and, like, I hate watching that.”
Throughout the episode, Ben and Ronnie engage in playful banter, poking fun at each other's jokes and the absurdities presented in the trailer. Their chemistry adds a layer of entertainment, keeping the analysis lively and engaging.
Notable Quotes:
Ben [21:32]: “To get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mint mobile.com crappens.”
Ronnie [31:13]: “Put your lemur weight on me. Do you like lemurs? I'm on sex for a year.”
As the discussion wraps up, Ben and Ronnie express their excitement for Summer House Season 9, acknowledging the show's growth in popularity despite ongoing mockery. They reaffirm their support for the show’s evolution and tease potential guest appearances in their live events.
Notable Quote:
Ben [41:45]: “It's like one of the most popular shows on Bravo. So good job, Summer House.”
The episode concludes with sponsor acknowledgments and advertisements for various products and services. These segments are brief and maintain the hosts' humorous tone, though they are not part of the main content discussion.
Overall, this episode of Watch What Crappens offers a humorous and critical examination of the new trailer for Summer House Season 9. Ben and Ronnie provide insightful commentary on character dynamics, anticipated drama, and the show's stylistic choices, all while maintaining their signature comedic flair. Listeners can expect a mix of laughter, critiques, and thoughtful predictions, making this episode both entertaining and informative for fans of the show and newcomers alike.