← Watch What Crappens
Loading summary
Transcript327 lines
- [00:01]
Ben Medelker
Through weight loss by hers, you can give yourself something to be excited about in 2025. You can spend the new year in control of your weight by losing up to an average of 9 pounds in your first month. This is based on data that real hers customers have reported based on their personalized compounded GLP1 treatment plans.
- [00:18]
Ronnie Karam
Hers is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.
- [00:24]
Ben Medelker
After submitting an online intake form, a licensed medical provider will determine what plan is best for you and if prescribed, your includes medication, ongoing care and online support all at one low cost.
- [00:37]
Ronnie Karam
Start your initial free online visit today at 4hers.com crappins that's F O-R-H-E-R S.com.
- [00:45]
Ben Medelker
Crappins for your personalized weight loss treatment options for hers.com crappin hers Weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required restrictions apply. WeGovy and Ozempic are not compounded. Actual price depends on product and plan purchased. Ready to electrify your drive Hyundai's cutting edge EV lineup is about to change Everything you thought you knew about electric vehicles. Prepare to be captivated by a range that's as bold as it is brilliant. From the lightning fast Ioniq 5 and Ioniq 6 charging from 10 to 80% in a mere 18 minutes to the tech packed cabins boasting highway driving assist and blind spot collision warning, Hyundai EVs are redefining the electric experience. And with America's best warranty, including a 10 year, 100,000mile limited electric battery warranty, you'll drive with unmatched confidence. Hyundai's EVs aren't just the future, they're the now you've been waiting for. Learn more about Hyundai's EVs@HyundaiUSA.com call 562-314-4603 for complete details. America's Best Warranty Claim based on total package of warranty programs. See dealer for limited warranty details. See your Hyundai dealer for further details and limitations.
- [02:09]
Ronnie Karam
The start of a new year is the perfect time to get organized, set goals and prioritize. What matters most. For me, a top priority is my financial wellness, which feels more important than ever. Thanks to Rocket Money, my goals feel achievable. They show me all of my subscriptions right in one place and help me easily cancel ones that I forgot I've been paying for. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. They automatically scan your bills to find opportunities to save. Then you can ask them to negotiate for you. They'll deal with customer service so you don't have to cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com Wondery today. That's RocketMoney.com Wondery RocketMoney.com Wondery who cares what happens when there's so much who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch what crap ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Medelker and joining me fresh in the new year in 2025, Mr. Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie, how are you?
- [03:42]
Ben Medelker
Hello, Ben, how are you?
- [03:45]
Ronnie Karam
Wonderful. How was your breaky break? Do you have a nice.
- [03:49]
Ben Medelker
Amazing. Can't believe it's ending. Fantastic. Beautiful. But, you know, glad to be back talking about the bravs. How about you? What's your 2025? What are you going to do? What's your goal?
- [04:03]
Ronnie Karam
Well, my goal is to be as healthy as possible while we go on tour. I know that sounds like I'm actually just promote finding a way to promote our tour, but it's actually a really, it's a big concern. I'm really trying to be healthy over the next four months. So I'm really looking forward to that. And I'm also looking forward to we had a really fun bonus episode, by the way. I will show this that on Patreon right before we left for break, we did a bonus episode where we talked about what we want to happen in the new year and we look back on the past year. It was actually a really lovely episode. So please go and listen to that. That's@patreon.com watchworkrappens and this is also a video. See, I am automatically shilling no matter what. But this is also Crappies on demand. You should come watch it as well. And the truth is we are going on tour and the tickets are@watchercrappins.com to that end. By the way, the crappies. Now we are officially less than a month away from the crappies, which is scary as fuck. But guess what, the first round voting is going to open up on Monday. So this is, this is your, this is your warning, your alert. Be ready. Voting for round one will be on Monday. We'll have the link up on our social media. We'll have it on our website. All that good stuff. We're currently compiling the categories. We thank you for everyone who submitted nominations and ideas and suggestions. It's so fun to go through it, go through memory lane. I can't wait to have a final ballot, but really looking forward to that. So. So that's that. And what about you, Ronnie? What is your goal for 2025?
- [05:37]
Ben Medelker
To stay hot.
- [05:39]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
- [05:39]
Ben Medelker
All right, so here we go. Let's party. Below deck. Sailing Monsters. It was really nice to start the new year. Well, actually, this episode came on before the new year started, technically, but we're not recapping it till the new year. But it's our first recap of the new year. And Bu's here. Hi, Bueller. Welcome.
- [06:00]
Ronnie Karam
Hi, Bueller. Look, he just hopped.
- [06:01]
Ben Medelker
Recap of the new year. Bueller.
- [06:03]
Ronnie Karam
Wow. Bueller's first appearance of 2025, by the way, I just want to also mention to people while Bueller is here that Ronnie was very lovely.
- [06:14]
Ben Medelker
What? Now you're leaving, like, all the attention? He was like, I'm out of here.
- [06:18]
Ronnie Karam
I just want to say I did get to finally see Ronnie's renovated home, and it is gorgeous and beautiful. And congratulations, Ronnie, on Labor of Love. It is stunning. You have such an eye. And if you are to flip a house ever, like, please, whoever's listening, I know there are people that are listening. Give this man a TV show because Ronnie did a great job and he deserves his own HGTV show. I will be the Jax to your Brittany on this one. I am going to shill for an HGTV show for you because it was beautiful. The choices for furniture, the color palette, the. The. The materials. You just did a wonderful job, Ronnie. I'm really proud.
- [06:58]
Ben Medelker
Ben. Thank you so much. I love Christmas. We had a Christmas party over there. It was just so nice. God, I had so much fun. Okay, memories.
- [07:08]
Ronnie Karam
Good. Okay, memories.
- [07:09]
Ben Medelker
Anyway, what are we talking about? First thing of the new year? Okay, so it was good to be the first show back of the new year was below deck. And to have monster guests just felt so good just to have unpleasable people, just jackass people who acted like they're the fanciest people in the world, but obvious don't know what they're talking about, which is great, you know, like complaining about the taste of an aperol spritz, as if they could do anything about that. It's literally apparel. It's not up to much interpretation. You know what I mean?
- [07:44]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
- [07:45]
Ben Medelker
Did I just Ignorant, stupid, awful, nasty people. And it was nice, you know, because I feel like sometimes people try and fake it for this show. And it's nice to just have shitty people. Sometimes I, I, some, normally I hate it, but sometimes I like what shitty people are like, well, we're shitty and that's just the way it is. We like being shitty and we're gonna stay shitty. So stay shitty, shitty people. What a great start to the new year.
- [08:11]
Ronnie Karam
I. But there's always this element of dissatisfaction I have across all below deck shows, which is that when you do have shitty house, shitty guests on the boat and then the show airs and then the show always roasts them because the crew roast them, the Internet roast them. And like, I always want to, like, I want them to be accountable or I want to, like, put a microphone in their face, be like, how do you answer for this? Now that you've seen it, what do you say? And we never get that with the guests. They just go back off to obscurity. Unless they're like, Jules Aaron. But I want to, I want these people to say, like, oh, wow, we saw ourselves on screen and we were, we were terrible. Like, I want to know what they thought, seeing themselves.
- [08:53]
Ben Medelker
Well, I've often followed up with people on this, the show where I go on Instagram, I find their accounts because I love to read America. Just reading these people for filth, you know, and they do like that Bobby Rose or what was that chick? Not Bobby Rose.
- [09:07]
Ronnie Karam
Oh, Erica Rose and her.
- [09:09]
Ben Medelker
Erica Rose, her horrid mother. Yeah, those awful monster trash people. They were red for filth. And I loved reading that. And of course, it was all editing's fault and it was all the staff. So that's the big spoiler is that it's still never their fault, you know, it's always editing's fault. Always. Every single time. I've never read one that's like, wow, we really sucked, you know?
- [09:30]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Well, this episode definitely had me feeling a certain sort of way because it was one of those episodes where I texted Ronnie, I think I texted you. And I was like, this episode's making me feel a lot of things now. I've forgotten almost all of it because it was last year, guys. But as we go through it, I'm sure, like, things will be drudged up and I will, I will have rage anew. But I was feeling things. I was having a lot. I know. Oh, my God. I just had a, I had a Vietnam flashback into what made me so mad, actually. And I will get to it. I will get to it. Everyone. We're gonna put a pin in that. That's a preview. Just wait. Just wait till. For about 75 to 80% through this way, through our recap and my anger will come out.
- [10:10]
Ben Medelker
Yeah, well, this show is hard to even get that angry about because this is the lowest rent of all the below decks. The boats falling apart. There's always shit falling all over. I mean, I know they're tilting, but they still don't have a cabinet doors that can close. People come spill drinks on you. I mean, that's just how the show is. They serve you shitty food half the time. There. There's sperm all over everything. You know, there's. They all over the boat.
- [10:34]
Ronnie Karam
There's.
- [10:34]
Ben Medelker
It's just a nasty skeevish. Gary's always there driving your. I mean, it's just one of the skeevier. Skeevier shows. So I. There's an element of me that no matter how bad the guests are, I'm always kind of on their side because I'm like, yeah, let's be honest, they're probably right. You know what I mean? Like, these guests were complaining about every drink. But then I was like, but these drinks probably do suck. And they complained about the food. And I'm like, but the food probably did suck. Like, the things they complained about, they weren't great, but they might have had a.
- [11:08]
Ronnie Karam
But also. But also, you're going on a charter for, like a very reduced cost. We know this. And it's a. It's a broad. It's like on tv. Like, I know if I want to have a delicious meal, I'm not going to go to Gordon Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen. I'm going to go to a proper restaurant. I'm not going to eat on the soundstage. So, like, yes, they are entitled to be disappointed by shitty service 100%. And I know that if I were on the boat, I probably would be a monster. I would be edited to be a monster. But that being said, like, also, you know what you got yourself into.
- [11:42]
Ben Medelker
Yeah, also, it's cake. Also, the one day charters, you know what I mean? Because I already have zero respect for one day charters. Like, you're already getting a bargain, but you need this much of a bargain. Like, really, they're like, I'll give you $5 and then we'll just come be monsters on your boat. And then they're just like, I don't understand what this food is. Or, you know, whatever it may be for the one day charter, but they're never good and they're always horrible people. And it's like, you are the ultimate NASCAR people. Can you please stop pretending Actually are NASCAR people rich? But you know what I mean, they're just like the lowest. Sorry, I'm defending all the NASCAR people, but you know what I mean? When NASCAR comes to town and suddenly there's flags you don't understand on cars and like people tailgating you and yelling faggot out their window, you know how it is.
- [12:24]
Ronnie Karam
That's exactly what these people are.
- [12:26]
Ben Medelker
You know, not these in particular. I just mean lower rent people. In general though, I just mean one day charter people. I'm not even gonna say lower rent anymore. I'm just gonna say those are one day charter people.
- [12:38]
Ronnie Karam
Lower tips. I think you're. I love this. I think you're so right. I feel like we've never really have articulated that. Like when, when, when it says one day charter, I'm always like, cheap. Like, was Walmart closed today? Yes. Pack. Please pack up your bindle and leave. It's.
- [13:00]
Ben Medelker
I always say the one day charters are my favorite because I always see my own clothes represented on screen. It's like, oh my God, finally people who wear Old Navy are here.
- [13:08]
Ronnie Karam
But also like, what's the point? Like, you're like. It's a little bit of it's effort to get onto a yacht and to do all that stuff. I just feel like one day, I mean, you're just. It's like I like just do two nights. Like you're not gonna, you know, what if the first day, you're just built in.
- [13:25]
Ben Medelker
It's just sad.
- [13:27]
Ronnie Karam
Sad.
- [13:27]
Ben Medelker
All right, here we go.
- [13:29]
Ronnie Karam
Oh, wait, but, but we do have something here. There's something I do. I don't remember if we talked about this last time. I think we speculated it, but we heard from an old queen at a bar. Previously previously on Blue Dick. Sailing yacht. Gary decides he isn't going to be drinking for the rest of the season, which lasts all of about half an episode. We were speculating on the last episode when Gary suddenly decided that he wanted to be sober. We thought like nothing that happened on camera seemed so crazy or above the beyond the pale of what he normally does that he decides to finally become sober. And as we all know, leading into the se season, we, we. We've read that and we know that there's like someone on the staff of Below Deck, you know, I think was made allegations or maybe press charges or something like that about Gary. I think it was coming on to her inappropriate, yada yada. We know it's terrible. And so we were wondering if maybe this happened like, and this is what really caused him to be sober. And then we heard from an old queen of the bar who said that basically that like, I think the timing of it actually did work out. And that when they shoot below deck, there's like forced time. Like the cast has to have time to like that they're put into sequester every few days and they're put into hotel rooms. They don't talk to anyone else. And that's when this. Ha. That's when this incident happened. So it would make sense that like during a blackout period, no pun intended, that Gary like was in his hotel room and this is when this all happened and it comes back to shoot. And so for us, we don't see on camera, we don't see anything. But what is. It's something that happened off camera, off, like beyond the shooting schedule, in between charters.
- [15:13]
Ben Medelker
So what did old. I have the. I have an article up if you want deets. So this is from screen rant. Gary basically was accused by season four makeup artist. We'll hold her name here because why. Why put her through that? But makeup artist. Of sexual misconduct stemming from an incident that allegedly occurred during filming in the summer of 2022. Samantha was tasked with escorting cast members to and from their rooms for production in between interview segments. She also kept the crew isolated before and after the interviews. Samantha claimed. Well, there we go. Okay, I can't not read her name. Samantha claimed that she brought boozed up Gary back to his hotel room following filming for a confessional interview. Gary had been in isolation after a positive COVID 19 diagnos kept him from joining the crew. And yeah, so this is where he showed up late for that season.
- [16:05]
Ronnie Karam
Remember, everything I said was basically wrong. Well, but. But maybe. Okay, so 2022, obviously my. This entire theory is.
- [16:17]
Ben Medelker
Well, no, because this aired in 2024, but it was filmed a long time before because remember, this has been on film a long time.
- [16:24]
Ronnie Karam
I think it was probably filmed in 2023. But it's possible that the. This is. It's possible that maybe the allegations surfaced during.
- [16:32]
Ben Medelker
Well, let me just finish this so I don't leave people hanging. So she stated that Gary was. She was bringing him back to his room and he was behaving erratically and eventually grabbed her from behind and physically restrained her from leaving before he. She was able to get away. She stated that production never limited Gary's alcohol consumption and she worked on previous seasons, including season 10, where she accused Bozen Ross of making inappropriate comments to or inappropriate comments towards her. So that's the article there.
- [17:01]
Ronnie Karam
And when did that article. When. When did this news break?
- [17:06]
Ben Medelker
This was November 4, 2020. No, it's updated November 4, 2024. So this must have been a long time ago.
- [17:14]
Ronnie Karam
So maybe, I mean, so maybe the. Maybe the. Maybe when the news broke, Gary was like, maybe reprimanded off camera, etc. So I will amend, but I'm glad you clarified that because, you know, I'm not trying to pass along, you know, bad information, even though I blatantly just did. But.
- [17:35]
Ben Medelker
Well, you know, I mean, most of it is just stuff we read headlines about. You know what I mean? And it happened a long time ago. I thought the same thing. I was like, some something. And it might have still happened because we don't really know when this was filmed. That's the thing about Below Deck. Like, how are we supposed to know when this was filmed?
- [17:51]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, well, we will keep an eye on it and we will try to piece together the timeline as best we can.
- [17:58]
Ben Medelker
But anyway, the point was he must have done something really bad off camera to warrant him suddenly becoming a good little angel and deciding he's gonna quit. And then he even did the PR thing of, look at me, I'm going to have a girlfriend now when he's trying to make good with Daisy and try, oh, it's just me and Daisy. We have so much going for us. And I believe in us long term, even if you don't. I'm just. Just this whole, it's just me, dependable Gary just waiting for you. You know, like, girl, you have been such a fudgeing monster. And whenever a boy starts this good little boy act, it's because he's been caught doing something very, very bad.
- [18:38]
Ronnie Karam
Exactly. I think I told the story before. It's like when I was in eighth grade and my parents were like, you know, it's time for you to go to a sleepaway camp. You need to. You need to grow up a little bit. And I was like, no, I don't want to leave home. So I went and I washed all the dishes in the sink. I was like, I'm going to show them. I'm grow can wash the dishes. And I was like, I'll fix it. And that's basically what he's doing. He is washing his dishes, hoping that this will suddenly cause things to change rapidly. And it won't. So we, we start the episode, everyone is waking up after their crew night out, and Daisy and Gary are sharing a room. And Daisy's like, so, did you have fun last night? And he's like, yes, I did have a fun night. You know, it's hard to get to get along with everyone when everyone's drunk. I'm like, no shit. Imagine we've been the ones having to watch you get wasted for four years now. How hard is it on us now? You're only just getting barely a taste of it. And everyone getting drunk doesn't even compare to what everyone's had to deal with when you've gotten drunk, sir.
- [19:35]
Ben Medelker
So then we go to Danny, who has just hooked up with Chase. You know, they've been banging in the bedroom all night. Three times. We find out later, and she's like, so the last time I kissed somebody on this crew, I was told I could never happen again. But this time, I'm hoping you'll say that he needs it to happen all the time. And I loved every second because I did so. And then Chase is like, wow, gee, golly, I've only been here three days. And last year, I had to sleep in the crew mess because there was sex happening in my. My cabin. Now here I am. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's got lots of laid.
- [20:16]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Personality still sucks, though. By the way, I also want to mention my favorite part of that little Gary Daisy scene was that after Gary is reflecting on how hard it was, you know, with everyone being drunk and how proud he is that he got through a night of not drinking, he's. He literally says, you know, you should celebrate. Have a drink off the boat, you and I. So congrats, Gary, for celebrating your new sobriety by having toasting to it with a drink.
- [20:44]
Ben Medelker
Well, that's what they always say. I mean, listen, that's why you are supposed to celebrate in AA with chips, because, you know, salty things are the best things to eat while you're drinking. Yeah, that's where the chip comes from.
- [20:59]
Ronnie Karam
Exactly.
- [21:00]
Ben Medelker
I mean, you couldn't be like, hey, congratulations on three months sober. Here's a cocktail, peanut. It's like, that's not fun. You know, we can't really commemorate that.
- [21:12]
Ronnie Karam
Hey, I broke my teeth on this chip. Well, you're not supposed to eat that, sir. So, Diana. So now Diana is like, how was your night? And things like, oh, it was fun. She's like, oh, I guess I have to do the master again.
- [21:27]
Ben Medelker
Why do you have dying up the sperm? You blew it. You stew it. That's what I say. Not Stew it. That's disgusting. You. You unloaded. You should commode it. You unloaded it. You should commode it.
- [21:44]
Ronnie Karam
If you've got time to splooge, you got time to stew.
- [21:47]
Ben Medelker
Do it. Okay.
- [21:53]
Ronnie Karam
So the producer's like, hey, so Chase, what about Diana? And he's like, well, Diana is stunning, but I also think she's reserved. Whereas Danny saw an opportunity and took it. And I'm not upset about it. Is this the Apprentice?
- [22:07]
Ben Medelker
Like, like, seriously, you know, because. And this just for anybody wondering what guys like this. Easy. That's what guys like. They like it to be easy. Okay? That's all they want. Just make it. Whoever makes it is easier for this guy would fuck a Costco chicken sample is basically what he's saying.
- [22:28]
Ronnie Karam
He is basically like when he gets an erection, when he hears the Toyota jingle, we make it easy.
- [22:35]
Ben Medelker
Easy for you, sir. You're not supposed to stick your penis in the pipe. Right back there. Putting his banana in the tailpipe like he's in Beverly Hills Cop. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
- [22:55]
Ronnie Karam
They say Hollywood is where dreams are made, a seductive city where many flock.
- [23:00]
Ben Medelker
To get rich, be adored, and capture America's heart.
- [23:04]
Ronnie Karam
But when the spotlight turns off, fame, fortune and lives can disappear in an instant. When TV producer Roy Raiden was found dead in a Canyon near LA in 1983, there were many questions surrounding his death. The last person seen with him was Lainey Jacobs, a seductive cocaine dealer who desperately wanted to be part of the Hollywood elite. Together, they were trying to break into the movie industry.
- [23:31]
Ben Medelker
But things took a dark turn when a million dollars worth of cocaine and cash went missing. From Wondery comes a new season of the hit show Hollywood and Crime, the Cotton Club Murder. Follow Hollywood and Crime, the Cotton Club Murder. On the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast, you can binge all.
- [23:49]
Ronnie Karam
Episodes of the Cotton Club Murder early.
- [23:51]
Ben Medelker
And ad free right now by joining Wondery.
- [23:55]
Ronnie Karam
Hello, ladies and gerbs, boys and girls, the Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittney Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode. Address free by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.
- [24:57]
Ben Medelker
Then. So Diana has to go. Diana has to go clean up the splooge. Not fair. So then Glenn is checking in with Davide. He's like, did you have fun last night? We did indeed. It was so fun. Good times. Good, good time.
- [25:11]
Ronnie Karam
Did you bleed?
- [25:13]
Ben Medelker
Not that I remember.
- [25:14]
Ronnie Karam
Ding. Did you go to a cave? No, I don't think you. You always ask me if we go to cave. We never go to cave. Oh, I'm just holding out hope so.
- [25:26]
Ben Medelker
Chase is checking with Diana, but she's like, whatever, you know? He's like, trying to be like, hey, how you doing? Oh, how you doing? Had so much fun. Had good night with everybody. And she's like, huh? He's like, shut up. Okay. Shut up, you. You talkative little minx. All right. Not working on her.
- [25:44]
Ronnie Karam
Ooh, Chase, did you have fun last night? Where did you disappear to? Blah, blah, blah. He's like, yeah, I had a great time. I don't remember, man. No, shut up. Come on, spill the beans.
- [25:57]
Ben Medelker
So Danny's going off to Tiana about how hot he was and all this, you know, just rubbing it in. And because, you know, people like this also get off on the whole, like, I won. I won the man. You didn't win the man. How does it feel not winning a man? How's it going folding those cum rags? You like that? Yeah, I caused those. I caused those. Like, she gets off more, I think, on the bragging about it to the girl who she beat than the guy that she beat off.
- [26:25]
Ronnie Karam
She truly is someone who prattles on. It's not that she talks and talks or brags. She prattles like she is the prototypical prattler, like she should be in some old Jane Austen movie coming in. Be like, oh, I went with. I went with Mr. Willoughby to the dance, and he just danced with me all night long. Isn't that amazing? I danced and danced and danced with Mr. Willoughby. It's like, oh, shut up, you prattler.
- [26:46]
Ben Medelker
Goddamn prattler. So Gary's telling Chase Listen, I thought you were gonna hook up with Diana. What was that? You were flirting all night. And he's like, what? I'm not hooking up with anybody. I'm just doing a big job, man. Okay? Just doing the squeegee. And Diana. Back to Diana. She's like, well, I do not enjoy this because you leave me alone for a good couple of hours, and, you know, here I am having to work, and she's like, well, why doesn't everyone just make out? You know, you can always sleep in the master. Everyone' being silly about this. If you want to have sex with someone, have sex with someone. I mean, if there's someone to have sex with, I'm having sex with them. Where are they? Where are they?
- [27:23]
Ronnie Karam
Where are they?
- [27:24]
Ben Medelker
She can't have sex with anybody. You're there. You're reserving it. You're the first in line at the fucking Hertz rental every goddamn day that they open. How's anybody else supposed to drive a decent car?
- [27:34]
Ronnie Karam
I know you're making everyone else go to Alamo. So Danny's like, well, what do you want? She tells us, what do you want me to do? I mean, like, sit back and, like, watch you stare at him from the corner of the cream ass table for the rest of the season and maybe he'll come hook up with you? Like, no, excuse me. I was a cheerleader. I had 10,000 men staring at me. I'm gonna take my short.
- [27:54]
Ben Medelker
Here's what. Here's what she wants you to do. Not take every cookie off the plate. You know what I mean? Like, leave some for the rest of the people. Just because the cookie plate is there doesn't mean they're all for you. It's not all for you. Cookie stealer.
- [28:08]
Ronnie Karam
Share and share alike.
- [28:10]
Ben Medelker
Can you tell? It was just Christmas. You wake up and those cookies are gone, and I'm like, that fat bastard, you know? And I'm really going on my own journey and trying not to body shame people, but I leave a whole plate of cookies out there. I wake up, they're gone, and you just, like, hear a ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho yourself. And I just fixed that roof, you fat motherfucker. Get the hell off my roof.
- [28:31]
Ronnie Karam
These cookies were not for you. I did not say you could come in this chimney. There are no children here.
- [28:36]
Ben Medelker
I don't even believe in you.
- [28:40]
Ronnie Karam
I'm calling Krampus. So Danny is like, gary's sick and hot. Like, you can have Gary. Like, as if. Oh, like, thanks. Thanks for giving. Like, giving Diana Your literal sloppy seconds. Okay, thanks for offering up. You know, I'll always. There was a. There was a season of Survivor where this one girl. I think her name was Poppy or something, she went off on a reward, and they gave her, like, a mint. And she came back, and she was, like, sucking the mint, and everyone was staring at her, and they were so angry, and she's like, oh, I'm sorry. And she took it out of her mouth and offered it to someone like, do you want it? And it was just like, shut the up. Thank you for offering your Gary mint to Diana.
- [29:27]
Ben Medelker
Oh, yeah. I mean, you've already given whatever Gary gave you to Chase, so I guess, you know, at least you're being fair with it.
- [29:34]
Ronnie Karam
The wrong kind of sharing.
- [29:35]
Ben Medelker
And Diana's like, no, thanks. I don't do love triangles. Now. Regular triangles. I will play them. If Putin asks, would you like to hear me play Moon River?
- [29:47]
Ronnie Karam
Ding.
- [29:51]
Ben Medelker
Ding, ding, ding. All right, stop it. I'm gonna fuck that triangle.
- [29:56]
Ronnie Karam
You know, I thought that was a little inconsiderate because you said you were gonna play Moon river on the triangle, but instead you just sort of accompanied it. I don't think that's fair.
- [30:05]
Ben Medelker
Okay, so Diana's like, that girl moves fast. And I expected her to jump on Chase, but it still sucks, you know? So she picks up the towel. She's like, I hope this doesn't have penis things. Throw it on her face and make her do it.
- [30:21]
Ronnie Karam
She's like, what? No, this. That's my tail. It doesn't have penis stains on it. All right, everyone. Daisy, Glenn and Claus, time for preference sheet meeting in the cave. That's what I'm calling the crewmast now. God, I love it in here. Okay, this is. This is a quick overnight charter. Cheap asses. Okay, Daisy, thank you. Jillian is an operations specialist in healthcare, and Sherry is a celebrity hairstylist. Jillian and Sherry plan to enjoy fun in the sun and great cuisine alongside their friends.
- [30:57]
Ben Medelker
Okay, so one of you charges too much for my blood work, and the other one does terrible tracks on housewives. Okay, I already hate both of you.
- [31:05]
Ronnie Karam
One is a professional hanger on, and the other is fleecing America. So.
- [31:15]
Ben Medelker
So Gary's like, well, the guest looks like you enjoy olive. What you choose, this boat has to offer and hope they can kitch cat, cooch, cooch, some wines for an amazing se Se seal. Gary, get through the blah, blah, blah already. Ding.
- [31:42]
Ronnie Karam
Diana, stop playing your triangle in here. We're having a meeting.
- [31:47]
Ben Medelker
Chase, get your penis out of the. Out of the Triangle there. It was easy, man. Okay, so Cloy just reads seven courses. Okay, so already know these guests are morons because who asked for that? Seven.
- [32:03]
Ronnie Karam
Okay. It's not a thing. Crazy. Well, no, I don't. If you're okay if you're going. That's too many courses.
- [32:09]
Ben Medelker
Five courses is a lot. Come on. Five. Five is, is your tradition, right?
- [32:13]
Ronnie Karam
Well, five is your traditional for Captain Sandy. Remember she told Rachel, hey, hey, five courses. Just five courses. No, a seven course meal is fine for fine dining. And we're going to circle back to this because this is where my rage is going to come into. But I'm going to let my rage out at an appropriate time. But seven course meal is appropriate. What I do think is strange though, is that pairing with the drinks, they all learn to mix. They want to do a mixology course. I think mixing with. With mixology is a strange, like that's a strange request. So they want to do a mixology class and then they want to do a seven course meal to pair with their drinks that they're going to make. I don't know. That doesn't sound very fine dining. Y and also, whether it's fine dining or not, it just doesn't sound like a good idea.
- [33:02]
Ben Medelker
Well, it sounds like Gary waiting. It sounds like just alcoholism, Right? It's like eight drinks. Seven drinks. Okay, so I know that seven course meals are heard of. I shouldn't say they're morons, but you automatically know they're jerks. Because when you come on a one night charter and you're just like, make us seven courses. It's like people who, I don't know, it's like, I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get everything that I can get. You know, it's like my friend who goes to the front desk and asks for the slippers and the toothpaste and the to, and then she's taken home the, you know, she'll unplug the phone, the home, the, the hotel phone and put it in her bag on the way out. It's like, this is my one night at a hotel and I'm getting every free thing I can.
- [33:37]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, act like you've been there before. You know, I, I. Well, also, like, if it's your one night on the yacht, I kind of feel like I want to spend more time, like experiencing the yacht rather than being like stuck at a table, you know, like, if I'm going to do a seven course meal, I'm gonna do the seven courses at a proper restaurant. Maybe not like on a boat that's sideways.
- [34:01]
Ben Medelker
Well, now, here's another thing also. I'm having to lube up the side of my lips. Because I got up for the new year, I'm going on a stronger retinol, you know, which is, like, stuff old people use on their face. For those of you who are like, what is retinol? It's like a face cream that kills a layer of your skin to reproduce skin more quickly for when you're old. So anyway, I had it on my hands, and then after that, I put on argan oil. My face, and I was putting the argan oil on, and I was like, oh, I should just put some on my lips because I love argan oil. Well, I had the fucking retin a still on my hands, so now my lips are falling off, basically. So if my lips fall off during this recap, it's because I did it to myself with face creams. Okay, back to the show. So also, I don't to stand up for the guest real quick. I don't think they specifically said they need to have seven drinks in their seven course meal. They just said they wanted the drinks. They learned to be paired. Well, you could do a mojito and pair that with lots of different things with, like, coconut or. Or something mint could go with this other thing. You know, maybe the first three courses go with one drink.
- [35:04]
Ronnie Karam
That's all assuming that when you request to learn how to make a mojito, you also know what a mojito is and, like, a mojito. But we'll get to that in a moment. So Daisy is like, all right, Claus, just tell me your menu, and I'll pick the cocktails. Like, oh, this. He's like, okay. Beautiful strategy.
- [35:24]
Ben Medelker
Well, the Trenaway requests are pretty straightforward. They seem like a fun group. So Cloy is like the guest who specifically requested seven course meals. Not six, not eight, not 11, not four, not two, seven, seven. Thank you. Thank you, Cloy. Keep talking. Hey, make this monologue longer.
- [35:50]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. He's like, well, my goal is to showcase a broad range of culinary skills. Highlights for some things from locals even improve. Like, yeah, you're gonna cook seven meals, seven courses. We get it. We understand what. What that means. You do not highlight things.
- [36:04]
Ben Medelker
Not 19.
- [36:07]
Ronnie Karam
He's like, I don't want to highlight my skills. I'm gonna microwave everything. So they. Everyone does their task, and they get ready to go off on the boat for, you know, and everything. And so Gary's like, daisy P. Do you want to Go get that drink now. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Which I'm like, wow, you're really eager to get that drink to celebrate your non drinking, sir. I'll be ready for the drink. I'm doing really well, Mr. Brady. I'm ready for the drink now, Daisy.
- [36:40]
Ben Medelker
So Danny's like, oh, is this a day? Is this a date? And he's like, well, having Daisy be supportive of me not drinking is a good feeling for me because then I know she's going to be there for me at my worst when I'm drunk, because she has been there. And also she'll be there for me at my best when I'm sober, which will never, ever happen. But working together, living together, living together, having these ups and downs. Children running all around, snot coming after them. Daisy yelling at me from a fire escape in the middle of a very poor neighborhood to come inside and leave my boys. God, that vision is just still so strong in me. Daisy just hanging off the fire escape with a cigarette dangling out of her mouth and her ponytail kind of half undone and her makeup smeared down her face while dirty children run all around her. Girl, you get your ass up here before you lose it. Kids, get off the ironing board. That's not the playground. Oh, I told you. Well, now one of them's lost their face. Get up here. You're good for nothing.
- [37:41]
Ronnie Karam
One of the low points of my Christmas vacation was that for whatever reason Dom and I put look who's Talking on. It was on tv and so we watched part of it. It. First of all, it's not a good movie. Second of all, there is a scene where Kirsty Alley had. Rip has a. She has a vision of what life would be like if she got with John Travolta. And it's basically. It was like literally everything you just described. It was like her and curlers. John Travolta come here with like a pot belly and like the kids throwing food around the kitchen and she has like a cigarette out of her mouth. Like, did you pick up the milk? And like, that's what Daisy and Gary would be. They would be a. Look who's talking fantasy.
- [38:19]
Ben Medelker
Yeah, just that nightmare trash couple, you know, and it's usually the couple. It's usually like the homecoming queen and the, you know, the football quarterback from high school who just become trash as they get older. And it's just gross. But so Kirsty Alley was in that. Wasn't Roseanne also in that? I mean, half that movie on Twitter?
- [38:40]
Ronnie Karam
I think that Roseanne voice was a voice of one of the babies in the sequel.
- [38:45]
Ben Medelker
The sequel. Okay, look who's talking to.
- [38:47]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, it was.
- [38:48]
Ben Medelker
Look who's talking as well.
- [38:51]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, it was a terrible. It was terrible. It was. It was like, actually so much worse than I ever remembered it. And then when I saw Amy Heckerling directed it, I was like, amy Heckerling? I thought it was gonna be some random, like, old guy, and it was Amy Heckerling, so who knows? So think about that. Amy Ackerling, if you're listening, you did bad work.
- [39:11]
Ben Medelker
The title of Ben's movie about that day. Heckling. Heckerling.
- [39:16]
Ronnie Karam
Luke, who's talking? How about we call it look who's Directing.
- [39:21]
Ben Medelker
Look who's Heckling. So they leave, and Daisy's just like, where are we going? Gary? He's like, just in the corner. So they do, and he's trying to hold her hand and stuff. And she's like, what, are we going for a drink for Gary? He's like, oh, for us? For. It's the season. Tis the season. And she's like, well, are you not gonna drink for the rest of the season, Gary? And he's like, I don't know. Maybe I'll have a glass of wine tonight. Well, for them.
- [39:55]
Ronnie Karam
Daisy, why did you give me this slice of pizza? Oh, that's to represent the wedge of the chip that you achieved in your eight hours of sobriety.
- [40:04]
Ben Medelker
I'll spit it out.
- [40:09]
Ronnie Karam
So then meanwhile, Danny is. She's like, oh, my God, Chase is asleep. My love is asleep. Let's go wake him up. It'll be hilarious. So they go and they wake up Chase, and it's like, funny antics. So we come back to Gary and Daisy, and this is where Gary is now trying to see himself as a mature person. And so he's like, you know Daisy. Well, she. Gary tells us, you know, we're roomies, and then being besties. To being best friends. To moving on. In all seriousness, what are you looking for in life, Daisy? Oh, I guess he's telling Daisy this, and she's like, in life? Yeah, for the next couple of years. Have you thought about, I don't know, settling down with a tall drunkard who likes to do terrible things? Other people, maybe.
- [40:54]
Ben Medelker
Well, I guess stabilize and work a bit would be nice. I guess so. You know, I've wanted to check out the dice and. Because, frankly, they're supposed to be really great vacuums, but I've never wanted to spend the money. You know, I say leave work at work. That's the kind of thing I say, but it's got a big bowl on it, and I've got to tell you, sounds good. Here I come. Next couple of years.
- [41:15]
Ronnie Karam
Well, I want to build that relationship, period. You know, Relationships require a lot of work, you know. Fuck yeah. You go through the ups and the downs like us. We've been through a lot. A lot of shit that most married couples haven't been to. And seriously, it doesn't seem like it's going to anytime soon. And Daisy's like. She's already like, oh, God, is Gary trying to really make something happen now?
- [41:36]
Ben Medelker
Well, she's used to what Gary's done. She. She knows what Gary does. She knows his cycle. Gary's in trouble. So Gary is trying to, you know, use her for pr. And she's like, no, no. Because I think. I think Daisy likes Gary. I think she would. If Gary was being sincere right now, I think Daisy would be like, yeah, ah, let's do this. But she knows he's not being sincere.
- [41:58]
Ronnie Karam
And she knows that Gary just likes the idea of Daisy. She likes the idea of. He. He likes the idea of being in a relationship and, like, being the mature person he aspires to be. But I think he also is drawn to Daisy. I think he's not actually attracted to Daisy or wants to be in a relationship with Daisy. It's just that, like, she's the only one who, when he's done some real bullshit, like, like, she's just, like, still is, like, nice to him. And so he's.
- [42:26]
Ben Medelker
Well, it's like, we all love a Waffle House. Because really, at the end of the day, no matter how drunk we are, they at least let us come sit down until we up again. You know what I mean?
- [42:34]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, exactly.
- [42:35]
Ben Medelker
Daisy, you're basically a Waffle House. Congratulations. You've achieved so much in this relationship.
- [42:43]
Ronnie Karam
He's like, well, could you see a relationship with me? She's like, gara, I mean, I'm just asking for a friend here. I mean, imagine I wasn't here and someone asked you that. Could you see yourself in a relationship with Gary? And she's like. She's like, gara, you just like the idea of me. I mean, you need. You need to be honest with yourself. You know, I think we both have a lot of work to do in ourselves, but I think I've been working on myself a lot more than you've been working on yourself. I mean, I think anyone's can work on themselves more than you've been working on yourself. That Turtle over there on the beach has worked on itself more. And it's dead. It's a dead turtle. And it worked on itself more than you.
- [43:13]
Ben Medelker
Let me just say, as a person who doesn't really care about either one of you, truly, and I can. I can say that with. With heartfelt felt in a heartfelt way. Neither one of you have worked on yourselves. You're both exactly the same. Okay, carry on. Carry on with your fake conversation. You are both exactly the goddamn same. What are you talking about?
- [43:31]
Ronnie Karam
He's like, what? I've got worked on myself. And she's like, I think that you can get into a relationship with anyone. I think you. You. I think you need to really work on yourself because you're not going to have a healthy relationship with anyone. He's like, yes, but don't you think it's good to find someone in life that you can work on yourself with? Someone that. That brings out the best in you? Like Hellmans? She's like, I don't even know what the Hellmans is, but you have to be in a secure relationship, and you need to be with a secure person. And we're not secure people. I mean, look at me. I'm Daisy, for crying out loud. Daisy.
- [44:01]
Ben Medelker
She's like, you're talking about somebody fixing your problems, Kara. And he's like, now, can someone understand your problems? Did someone come in and say, okay, look at it from this side? Isn't that what love is? No, You're. You're. You want to date a fucking roll of paper towels to come in and clean up your mess? No.
- [44:22]
Ronnie Karam
Someone to hold my hand. Someone to clean up my mess. Someone to slap me in the face when I get too drunk. In between charters being, blah, blah, blah.
- [44:41]
Ben Medelker
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- [44:49]
Ronnie Karam
Commercial.
- [44:51]
Ben Medelker
Here comes one right now. So Gary's like, well, I think I've been too scared to commit because I don't want someone to put me in my place because I'm selfish, but I know it's what I need. Well, that's what the police are there for, you know? But he's like, well, it's someone like Daisy. And she's like, well, because of everything that happened last year, and G didn't respect my relationship with, and I kind of took a step back from our relationship, actually. You hooked up with his best friend, which you have every right to do. I'm not shaming you for that. But you hook up with his best friend, then still flirted with him the whole time, then they both treated you like total and Then you ghosted him until this season. Why are you acting like you took some step back? Because he didn't respect your relationship. You know who else didn't respect you? Colin. And Colin ended up good, boring, good boy. Clubbing it with this one one the rest of the time.
- [45:44]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Either way, I think that Gary is trash. And although I got. You're not really refuting that, but.
- [45:54]
Ben Medelker
No, no, I'm not at all. I'm just. She has an interesting way of amending history. But that said, he is trash, and she's not trash. I. I would. I hope the best for her. I don't. I don't hope the worst for Gary. I just don't just, like, stay over there, you know, Stay over there.
- [46:09]
Ronnie Karam
Well, at last, Gary did some serious growing up very fast, us having a future. There's no way, you know. And she goes, you know, I think we make each other laugh. We have similar interests, you know, like alcohol. Anyway, it's a good list.
- [46:26]
Ben Medelker
He's like, so you think there's a chance? All right, let's go. D. That was very lovely. Thank you. Now I'm not back to not drinking for two hours. So he did. Did he have the drink?
- [46:41]
Ronnie Karam
He. He definitely drank wine because the producers did a close up on the wine to be like, look, audience. He is, in fact, drinking wine. It's not something that looks like wine. It is wine. He is having wine right now to celebrate his sobriety.
- [46:52]
Ben Medelker
Okay, okay. So then, now Diana and Danny are still doing their flirt thing with Chase, and it's annoying. Annoying. So then Cloyes is talking to Keith Teeth. And Chloris is like, cell. Is your attention shifted at all? He's like, what do you mean? Well, I. Obviously you were getting along with Daisy pretty good. So how do you feel about that? Like, is it changing your vibe that she's out with Gary? And he's like, I don't know. Really, you know? And this morning, I felt like a piece of white bread. And then I found out about that, and I felt slightly toasted. And I'm just sitting here slowly getting harder and harder, waiting for someone to take up a nibble out of me, really, before I'm ready to be thrown in the bin. Does that make any sense?
- [47:41]
Ronnie Karam
Someone to put me in the toaster. Someone to spread some butter on me. Someone to enjoy me for breakfast. Come have a little bite. I'll always be there being a piece of toast.
- [47:57]
Ben Medelker
Drink a car about.
- [48:05]
Ronnie Karam
So Gary's back and. And he's like, so what you guys talk About? He's like, oh, just everything. Us, where we stand. And Chlo's like, where'd you guys stand? Where are you guys? He's like, I think we're in a good place.
- [48:19]
Ben Medelker
I don't know.
- [48:20]
Ronnie Karam
I meant to say not.
- [48:21]
Ben Medelker
He's intentionally being vague because he knows that both of these people like Daisy, right? So he's basically just put a block, which he knows he's doing. Also, he sees Daisy about to get a happy thing, so he's gonna come in there and try and ruin it for her by making it like, well, I still like Daisy. So now both of these guys are gonna have to back off. This guy's really such a piece of shit. He's such a piece of shit. So he's intentionally being vague. I'm like, oh, I think it went really well. No, it didn't. She just told you you had no fucking chance, dude. But of course you're gonna come make it sound like you do have a chance so that they don't have a chance. Right? So then Keith tries to word it like, well, you know, it's just like a classic high work relationship, you know? Right. Just work. And Gary's like, well, actually, it's pretty full on. So what does that mean? Yeah, you know, just. It was a respectful relationship about chips and.
- [49:19]
Ronnie Karam
Anyway, I need to go. I. I need to go lie down. I'm pretty buzzed for my sobriety. So Keith is basically like, I don't really know what to do. I don't want to put my foot in something that's going get stinky. And G is like, well, I guess, well, friend. Just friends, eh? I thought. I just. It's just like we fight and it's weird what we've been. What we've been through days. And she's like, go to sleep, G. So, yeah, they're just sort of settling. But if.
- [49:45]
Ben Medelker
If you and I ever live together, we've got to get on a good vibe. And then he farts in her face while she's in the bed. She's like, you are disgusting. Which I think is the moment she realized she's marrying this man. Okay, so then Diana and Chase, everybody's get waking up the next day and getting ready, you know, and now it's provision times. And Davide is fixing lights and the cabins going, lights, lights. I fix. I'm Italian. And then Gary and Daisy are checking. Oh, Diana is asking Chase if he slept well. And he's like, I had this dream that two stewardesses came and drugged me out of Bed. And she seems like so dejected did this morning. She's just like, I can't believe someone would do that. Why is he talking to me?
- [50:29]
Ronnie Karam
And Diana's like, I don't want to be in love triangle, only putin triangle. So Daisy, she's like, how are you doing? Are you okay? Are you upset at her? And chase like hooking up. Do you want to be mad? Diana, do you want to yell at days at Danny? Do you want to do that? She's like, I don't know. He wanted her. And she's like, sure. Well, okay. Day. So would you hook up with him? No. No, never. I mean, I was vibing, but apparently it was not true on his side.
- [50:56]
Ben Medelker
It's like, well, you know, it was a bit shit because you didn't really have a chance, did ya? And she's like, well, I'm not gonna fuck somebody on the first day. Well, with your being reserved as you are, I mean, look, I'm not saying it's your fault. I'm just saying he's a boy. He's an idiot. Because the boy's an idiot, you know? Yeah. You leave a chicken wing on a table, the boy's gonna eat the chicken wing on the table. Not the one that's in the refrigerator that needs to be prepared first. It's just how they are. We are, I guess I'm gay. What am I talking about? We're the worst.
- [51:24]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. I feel like Danny sees everything as competition and that I don't fight over men. No, thank you. I have more things to do with my life, like sit in corner and stare angrily at something.
- [51:39]
Ben Medelker
I have more important things to do, like clean the comrags of people who are are fighting over the men, you know? So then Diana's like, he wanted easier and he got her. And that's it. So that's true. So then the guests come on board and Daisy gives them the tour and stuff, and their first complaint is when they see the hot tub and they go, well, it would be nice if that was an actual pool.
- [52:08]
Ronnie Karam
Maybe next time go to a pool.
- [52:11]
Ben Medelker
Yeah, maybe next time, like read the listing of the Airbnb that you rent. You know what I mean?
- [52:16]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
- [52:16]
Ben Medelker
It's like you show up to an Airbnb, there's a kitchen sink, but it's not a pool, so there's five points off.
- [52:23]
Ronnie Karam
Maybe next time look into what a boat is and look into what a pool is and see why. Maybe they don't play well as friends. Okay, maybe. Yeah.
- [52:33]
Ben Medelker
Yeah.
- [52:34]
Ronnie Karam
So now they're like, can we have help unpacking our bags? And so they're already making all the requests and everything. So they now the. They leave port, and now the guests are asking for drinks, and they're just being so obnoxious about it. They're like, daisy, Daisy, we have another drink. We have a refilling. We have a drink. Oh, my God, look, my drink over there. Give me my drink. I lost my drink.
- [52:53]
Ben Medelker
Yeah. Like, where is she? Did she forget about us? And someone's like, oh, she's tired. And they said, well, did you tell her to make a margarita? Daisy, get my champagne from my bathroom. I mean, God, I'm not on vacation. If you want something, ask the right people. Oh, no. One of her friends is like, I'm not getting that. If you want something, ask the right people for it. So then they're like, I mean, is there a button you can press? Like, where is everybody?
- [53:17]
Ronnie Karam
Oh, my God. And they're just, like, asking, making lots of requests and everything. So at this point, I would say, like, okay. I can imagine that the editing made them look really spoiled, because, like, I can imagine they're so excited that they have all the service. They're being jokey amongst themselves. It makes it look like they're doing this. But the rest of charter, though, they just continue to get worse and worse and worse. So now they are. Now the sales go up because it's time to go sailing. So Captain Glenn is all excited, and now the boat starts to tilt to the left. Everything falls out of the cabinets, because once again, the crew has, like. They act like they had no idea this would ever happen. So they don't lock anything down. So everything's tumbling out of every shelf.
- [53:56]
Ben Medelker
And then, of course, one of the guests is like, this is not what I expected. Why is the boat going sideways ways? Don't tell me you never watched a show that you went on. Yeah, you know what I mean. You didn't even watch one episode. I do not believe you. So then she starts with the whole, oh, my God, the boat's tilting. I can't handle it. I'm gonna throw up. I'm definitely gonna throw up. I'm definitely for sure gonna throw up. Okay, another. Another evident. Another piece of evidence that this person is a complete asshole who is in a group of people and needs to barf and just sits there. I'm gonna throw up, guys. I'm gonna throw up. Then get your ass up and go to the bathroom. What are you doing sitting here? You're gonna throw up. On me. You don't have anything to throw up into. You're not bent over the side of the boat. Are you planning on me being your target of throw up? Because I will throw your ass overboard. Okay? Who fucking vied? This person on. That's the last time I would ever go out with that person. One of my best friends. I was driving her home when she was wasted, and she said, I have to throw up. And I said, I'll pull over. And she said, I can't wait. And do you know what this little angel did? She barfed in her purse.
- [55:01]
Ronnie Karam
Wow.
- [55:02]
Ben Medelker
That's what good friends do.
- [55:03]
Ronnie Karam
That's a good friend you try to accommodate. Also, how about this crazy idea. How about you just, like, turn the around and barf into the ocean, okay? There's, like, a. Literally, like, a giant space for you to throw up. It'll be okay.
- [55:20]
Ben Medelker
Like, why probably be throwing your straws in there within five minutes.
- [55:24]
Ronnie Karam
I know. And on top of that, honestly, she. I really do think she's being dramatic, because how is it that the choppiness of the sea, she was fine with, but when they tilt, that's the issue. I feel like the tilting is not what will make you seasick. I think it's the up and down, the choppiness. So she was just, I think, being like, oh, my God, it's sideways. I'm gonna get sick now. And she doesn't even wind up puking, by the way, because they would have shown it. So they go running all around to find, like, a. A bin, which, by the way, they kind of should have had one. Like, they should have, like, seasick bags, like, ready, like, not just, like, tucked away in the. The depths of the. Of the ship. There should be one on the deck. But now she's like. So she basically says, like, no more tilting of the boat, which is like, look, I'm not. I don't get off on the. The boat, the sail, the sailing, the way Glenn does. But, like, if you're gonna get. If you're gonna book a sailboat, why would you book the sailboat and then not want to do any of the sailing? It's just stupid.
- [56:15]
Ben Medelker
Yeah. So then one of the friends is like, are you sure it's not the margarita? Like, now you're already blaming service for your friends wanting to throw up with seasickness. So then Daisy's like, oh, my God. It doesn't sound like anyone's throwing up. And then we hear. But we still get no proof that she threw up. Right. I don't think we saw that she threw up.
- [56:35]
Ronnie Karam
I don't think so.
- [56:35]
Ben Medelker
So then Gary is like, so you're not comfortable. You want us to stop? Which I think is the first time in history Gary said that. And she's like, yes. So then Glenn stops and he's like, this is the first time I've ever been asked to stop sail. Whoa. I hope the God is the last. So now Gary goes to check on Cloyes, and he's getting that seven course thing ready. And now it's time to put the weight, the sails away and drop anchor. And now where should we do the cocktail making class? Daisy is asking Danny, which is interesting. Why would you ask Danny? She doesn't know anything. And Danny's like, at the bar. And Daisy goes, oh, that would be cute. It's also where all the liquor is.
- [57:18]
Ronnie Karam
Daisy, that's where you would have a mixology class. So Daisy asked Danny to, like, get some stuff ready. And then Danny is like talking to this woman Jillian about like when they want to do cocktail mixology and Tommy and everything like that. And they want to do like class at 7:30, dinner at 9:30. So just getting this ready. And then Gary, like, they're all kind of glum. So Gary's like, hello, ladies. Do you want to try some seabobs today? Blah, blah. So they're like, okay. And so he's like showing how to do it and they're like like, so wait, so you're literally like a fish in water. Like you're just gonna go straight into a shark's mouth. Or a dolphin's mouth.
- [58:02]
Ben Medelker
Could be pretty cool. I've already made out with the shark though. Try everything once. Am I right, ladies?
- [58:11]
Ronnie Karam
I love that. Dolphin's mouth is like the worst version for her. She's like, we're gonna wind up in a shark's mouth or dolphin's mouth. I guarantee you the dolphin is not going to be sitting there with its mouth open waiting for you to come into it.
- [58:24]
Ben Medelker
Well, you know, little fish don't feel like that. They're terrified. You know, she's got little fish energy. So then Gary's like, yeah, I don't have any idea if these guys are having a good time. And I don't like that one bit. So it. I'm going to wet these people. You're getting wet, girls. And then he starts pulling them into the water and stuff. And they're just bored. They're like, you know, I mean, see bobs me. I tried it. Stupid. Well, the water should be fun but it's not. They just hate everything. They hate the drinks. They hate the service. They hate the tilting. They hate being here. Everyone's been nothing but lovely to them, and nothing has really bad happened to them yet. They just came on here to be miserable and act like they're better than everything.
- [59:08]
Ronnie Karam
It's actually been a very functional charter compared to the others, you know? Yeah, they would have. You know what? This would have been really Emma's time to shine. She could have been like, oh, so you hate everything. You're bored by everything. You should meet my sister. She says, I am like that. I guess I'm just like you guys.
- [59:24]
Ben Medelker
Yeah.
- [59:24]
Ronnie Karam
Mortifying.
- [59:25]
Ben Medelker
Emma would have finally identified with some guests. You know, she'd have been like, I hate seabobs as well. I mean, seriously, you. Hold on. They work, work, work, dragging you through the ocean like a piece of garbage. Unbelievable.
- [59:39]
Ronnie Karam
I did once find myself in a dolphin's mouth. And you know what happened? The dolphin said, you're doing it wrong. I mean, I can't do anything right, apparently. And then my sister came and rode that dolphin off into the sunset. Pathetic.
- [59:53]
Ben Medelker
So now it's getting set up for mixology, and Diana's like, well, you know, let's get what we need for the drinks. And Danny's like, well, I've accepted everything on this boat is extremely unprepared and unplanned. Well, you were put in charge of preparing and planning it, so I think this would be on you.
- [60:13]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, exactly. So these guests who requested a mixology class seems so uninterested and unenthused about doing this. So they. They gather round, and Daisy is basically like, all right, ladies, if you're ready, we're gonna make some drinks. So then Daisy is like. She starts off with, like, a mojito, which she makes with brown sugar, Which I was like, I didn't think brown sugar was really a. A mojito ingredient. That was a strange choice. And they just seem so uninterested.
- [60:49]
Ben Medelker
They're like, do you not put brown sugar in a mojito?
- [60:52]
Ronnie Karam
I thought it was. I thought it was just white sugar. Is it brown sugar?
- [60:55]
Ben Medelker
Well, I always see the cane sugar sticks that they put in there, but I don't know what actual kind. Are you looking?
- [60:59]
Ronnie Karam
Brown sugar's like molasses. Is brown sugar?
- [61:02]
Ben Medelker
Yeah. I don't know. Brown sugar sounds fancy, but, I mean, I don't know. I'm asking cookies personally.
- [61:08]
Ronnie Karam
Well, according to AI, once in a while.
- [61:10]
Ben Medelker
Am I right?
- [61:11]
Ronnie Karam
Well, AI Padma, AI says no brown sugar. Is not typically used in a mojito. Unless you're Gail. The traditional recipe for mojito calls for granulated or white sugar. Stupid.
- [61:24]
Ben Medelker
Yeah. It doesn't surprise me that Desi doesn't really. No. What kind of sugar to use, so. Which isn't even meant to be a sick burn, but her mixology is like, all right, here's my Google results on my phone. You know, she's just, like, staring at her phone. She's like, all right, sugar. All right, we've got sugar in there. All right, we've got some ramen there. She's. It doesn't look like you're getting a course from someone who really understands mixology. You know, this is.
- [61:50]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, this is kind of like basic bar drinks at this point. And so. But what's funny is that they seem like. It feels like these people have never even encountered a mojito before because she's like, all right, we're gonna put ramen there and some mint and some sugar and some soda. And they're like. And we're supposed to drink this? Yeah, it's a delicious, delicious cocktail.
- [62:10]
Ben Medelker
Yeah, it's one of the most delicious, sugary cocktails. And yeah, Shari's like, we're gonna drink this. And she goes, well, I mean, hopefully it'll be nice. And then the poor husband. There's one husband on this trip who's trying to be positive and no one will let him, you know, but he's like, oh, that tastes really good. And then someone goes, really? I don't know. Okay, you hate to drink laced with sugar. Get the fuck out of here. I have no patience for you people.
- [62:35]
Ronnie Karam
My God, sugar. It's like a lot. It's like, it's the most beautiful drink.
- [62:38]
Ben Medelker
And so then when the Applebee's opened on our town and my mom tried to go la di da at the Applebee's, she was like, well, let me tell you something about these cheesesteaks sticks. They're frozen. Oh, yeah, they're frozen. I was like, yeah, you're a real five star diner there.
- [62:57]
Ronnie Karam
Were you like, mom, you're being a bad apple?
- [63:00]
Ben Medelker
No, because that's. That's reserved for busboys who don't clean the tops of the picture frames like me. Rondel, bad apple.
- [63:08]
Ronnie Karam
So then they move on to a mango martini, which, admittedly, to me sounds kind of gross. I like mango, but I just think that, like, things like that can often go too sweet and go like a rise. They make this orange, blobby drink, and then this girl Goes, it's not sweet enough. That's. That's the thing. Like, no one ever says that about cocktails. It's always the other way around. It's too sweet. It's too, like, cloying. It's too awful. She's like, this. This mango frosty. It needs to be sweeter. Lady, get off this boat.
- [63:43]
Ben Medelker
Here's a customer service for mangoes. Call them, let them know. And so Daisy. I like Daisy. I like Daisy's response. She goes, not sweet enough. Good to know. Good to know. And then Shar is like, yeah, I'll pass on this. Why are you guys being so judgy? You're the ones making the drinks. That's the point. If it's not sweet enough, make it sweeter, dummies. You're the bartenders here. That's the point.
- [64:08]
Ronnie Karam
You're supposed to cuss. She's given you the skeleton, okay? You add the stuff to it. Like, come on. So Daisy's like, well, naturally, I'm a people person. As everyone can tell whoever's ever watched.
- [64:20]
Ben Medelker
This show, that's me.
- [64:21]
Ronnie Karam
I can't read what's going on.
- [64:22]
Ben Medelker
People person, Daisy.
- [64:26]
Ronnie Karam
So they're like, yeah. Then Sherry's like, I can't drink that one. It's really bad. And like you said, it's like, you made it. You made it it. You can fix it.
- [64:35]
Ben Medelker
So then now Marcel's like, I think we should just quit this. And Daisy's like, okay, well, can I catch anything in the meantime? And Shari's like, maybe some water? I mean, gross. So Daisy's like, yeah, this is weird enough, this water. So she's like, it. It's pulsating how uncomfortable everybody feels. It is Paul. Satan.
- [65:04]
Ronnie Karam
So then now one of them is like, so, do you got one if you guys want to do something else like this ever again? And they're like, no. And they're just, like, all sitting on the sofa, just, like, bored, unhappy. Daisy's like, oh, well, I hope they like their dinner cocktails. So. Because these are. Remember, they're gonna be pairing their cocktails with dinner, you know, so, you know.
- [65:25]
Ben Medelker
We got a message in our Instagram, now that I'm thinking about it, from someone who seemed extremely sweet. So don't worry, I'm not about to diss you, lady who messaged us on Instagram. But she's like, oh, my God, my friend is coming up next week on Below Deck, and I'm really worried that she's not going to come off.
- [65:40]
Ronnie Karam
Well, I forgot about that.
- [65:42]
Ben Medelker
Did you read that? She's like, I'm so. That was a while ago. Well, let me just tell you your friend fucking sucks. And I'm sorry. I don't even care which one it is. They all suck. And I'm so sorry that this couldn't work out better for your friend, but they did this to themselves. I mean, there was no amount of editing on earth earth that could have made these people look this terrible. These are just shitty people. These are just not nice people. They're not fun, they're not nice, they're horrible. Who goes on a boat and doesn't at least enjoy floating around? They don't even enjoy floating around.
- [66:13]
Ronnie Karam
Like, I can understand not being so excited about the water choice because I could see myself being that person. But like, I don't understand how like you want to do a mixology course and then you're like, you're like blah about it. Maybe, I mean, maybe it's because these are kind of like, like, like, like basic drinks. They're not. Maybe they wanted something more exotic and fascinating. But still, like, you have fun, you're drinking your booze, you know, like, like.
- [66:38]
Ben Medelker
It'S not the drinks and it's not the tilting and it's not the water tour. It's everything. It's that it's every little thing the whole time. It's that they have to come on and belittle the staff and just treat everybody like crap for themselves to feel better. You know, it's typical below deck, awful guest behavior and they're really checking all the boxes. So now we're talking course meal. And he's doing a salad, baked oysters, crab cake, soup, fish. And he's like, you can pack a lot of good stuff into a seven course menu. When I was 11 and did my first seven course menu for President Clinton. Don't worry about the timeline. It's not supposed to make sense. He loved it. But you know, mostly it was cheeseburgers, fries, baked oysters. Those were still there.
- [67:28]
Ronnie Karam
So. So if you're gonna do a seven course meal, the, the dishes have to be small and usually like they're gonna be like refined. They'll be like a little this, a little that. You know, it's like almost like a tasting menu, you know, almost like a lose single. Yeah. So this is where I got so mad and this is where I, I felt something for these guests because every single course he puts out there is like a full size course. So first he starts out with a big ass wedge salad. One of the heaviest salads you can have it is, you know, a wedge of iceberg lettuce covered in, like, usually like, a blue cheese and, like, bacon. I mean, this looked actually very, very nice. This is a parmesan emulsion. I was like, okay. So it, like, wasn't pinging my radar. It was just like a nice little wedge salad.
- [68:11]
Ben Medelker
And serving iceberg on a luxury yacht is.
- [68:15]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, there. Well, there's that too. And then they. But it's also then they get paired with these, like, these cocktails that are so inelegant for a seven course meal. So the first one's getting paired with an aperol spritz. Now, this is no shade against an aperol spritz. I love an aperol spritz. But it was just like, every cocktail was like aperol spritz. It was like a peach bellini came out next to be paired with oysters, like, everything. I was like, this is actually a terrible meal. Like, I'm a little bit on the guest side about this meal because this is a terrible pairing. And it's like too much heavy food for, like, seven courses.
- [68:51]
Ben Medelker
Yeah. This is where we go back to the beginning of this recap where I was like, you know, this is one of those where I thought, do they have a point? Because up to this point, I've been like, these guests suck. But at this part, I was like, oh, wow. Well, they had a tasting with nobody who knew how to make drinks, so they didn't teach them fun or good drinks. And now they're having a tasting, and the guy doesn't really know how to do a tasting, obviously. And the people who are making them drinks don't know how to make drinks because. Yeah, yeah, that's not what. Although, I mean, it's easier to do a wine pairing than it is an actual alcohol pairing. A mixed drink pairing is very difficult to do. I've never heard of a mixed drink pairing. Actually, I have.
- [69:28]
Ronnie Karam
You have, but they're really not as successful. Yeah.
- [69:31]
Ben Medelker
And I've heard of a whiskey pairing. You know, something like that. It doesn't always have to be wine, but I've never heard of, like, we're gonna have seven different mixed drinks to go with seven different courses. But yeah.
- [69:42]
Ronnie Karam
And not like, like, mix drinks that you make. And usually if there is, like, a mixology pairing, the beverages are very, very, like, artisanal. It's like, there's a shrub and then there's a tincture, and then there's like a vodka that was, like, aged with some sort of artichoke or whatever. It's like. There's, like, the. The cocktails are given actually kind of cul, like in a culinary approach. But this is just like, Aperol spritz, margarita, Long island iced tea. So it's. It's like this. I was like, ooh. But then again, in. So I'm like, you know, these guests do have a point. But then at the same time, an aperol spritz. Like you said earlier, an apparel spritz is really just two things, and it's a very, very common drink. And they're all acting. They're like, I don't. I don't like this. They're all like. They're acting like it's some exotic drink, and they're like, rejection. And you're allowed to not like an aperol spritz. But I just feel like you can't be, like, you can't want an apparel spritz.
- [70:38]
Ben Medelker
You can't blame that. You can't blame the bartender on an apple. All spritz, I think, I guess, is the point, right? It's like you're acting like the bartender did something wrong. And they're like, ew, this tastes like cop syrup. It's like, okay, well.
- [70:50]
Ronnie Karam
But it's an apparel spritz.
- [70:52]
Ben Medelker
So anyway, so Jillian, one of the ladies, is like, so do you like apparel spritz? To Danny? And Danny goes, personally, yes, but it's not my first choice. Why do you say that?
- [71:02]
Ronnie Karam
As a server, too?
- [71:03]
Ben Medelker
Like everything's a cluster at this dinner. I'm just saying everybody's wrong in this dinner. Like, just bad. The mixology is bad. The food's bad. The guests are bad. It's all bad. So cloy is like, okay, then your next course, a play on oysters Rockefeller, which I call Cloys Teres Rockefeller.
- [71:26]
Ronnie Karam
They're like, we don't like wordplay.
- [71:28]
Ben Medelker
So he's like, okay, well, this is bad, too. You're doing something cutesy for the thing. Don't name it after yourself.
- [71:33]
Ronnie Karam
It's very unreal. First of all, Oysters Rockefeller, like, take. It's. Trying to make it look fancy. It's like he's doing, like, a. It's. If you're gonna do, like, the refined retro thing, you. It's. You really have to. It's. It's tricky. And, like, I don't know, oysters lock Cloisters Rockefeller, but then they get paired with peach bellinis. I cannot think of a more disgusting pairing.
- [71:56]
Ben Medelker
Like, horrible.
- [71:57]
Ronnie Karam
And it's like, why are you serving A peach bellini. That's a brunch drink. Why are you serving it now? Know who thought to put peach with oysters Rockefeller? It's like, oh, God. And then Daisy comes out with a tray of them and spills the tray of peach bellinis on the primary. I was like, oh, my God.
- [72:15]
Ben Medelker
And then starts laughing. It's like, oh, I'm so sorry. And she's like, that was just a nervous laugh. That was one of the worst moments of my life. And I've woken up next to Gary. All right, thank God. This is just a one night charter her. So she keeps saying, I'm sorry. And literally no one will say, okay. They just watch her clean it up. And. Yeah, so they hate the oysters. And also he's. She's serving way too many oysters at one time. Why aren't they just serving them one oyster?
- [72:44]
Ronnie Karam
This is crazy. It should be one oyster. Yeah, that's the thing. That's number two out of a seven course meal. I was getting so mad. And then. But then I'm like, oh, God. So these guests do have a point. But then one of them is like, does anyone want mine? This is Sherry, who is the primary. She's like, anyone want mine because I don't eat oysters. And so then they, they. She's gonna get a shrimp replacement. And then they go downstairs, we don't.
- [73:07]
Ben Medelker
Have time for a shrimp replacement. This is a seven course meal. If you don't like something, wait till the next course. It's in two seconds.
- [73:15]
Ronnie Karam
There's no time. But then they look at the preference sheet. Not only does she say, not only does she not say she can't eat oysters, she actually requests oysters on her preference sheet.
- [73:30]
Ben Medelker
This is people. And you can see that he literally circled where she said that she likes oysters so that he would be sure to include it on the menu. So he went out of the way to give her something that she likes. And she's making it. She's turning it into something like a weapon. So she's like. So Jillian's like, okay, you know, we need smaller drinks, which I think is valid. And so Shari's like, daisy, this aperol spritz tastes like cough syrup. That's where we get that. And she goes, well, you don't like aperol spritz. And she goes, do you? She goes, yeah.
- [74:04]
Ronnie Karam
So Daisy brings the spritzes downstairs. She goes, they don't like the apple spritzes. And they just all crack up. Everyone down there just starts laughing. So then like. And so Jillian's like, you know, these strings are too strong. How am I supposed to have seven drinks? Which is again, that's a lot. Seven drinks.
- [74:18]
Ben Medelker
So you drink a sip of it, but whatever.
- [74:22]
Ronnie Karam
I. I think she got a point overall.
- [74:24]
Ben Medelker
So.
- [74:25]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, exactly. So then CL springs up. The next one is a fried crab cake. And it's not like a dainty little crab cake. They all get like a giant frisbee on their plates. I'm like, what are you doing to these women? This is so much food. This is crazy for a seven course meal. And it gets served with a mango daiquiri. Yeah.
- [74:46]
Ben Medelker
Oh, what is it? Say it again. A mango daiquiri.
- [74:48]
Ronnie Karam
Mango daiquiri.
- [74:49]
Ben Medelker
They're really leaning too. Yeah.
- [74:52]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, I guess maybe it's like there, maybe. Maybe it was on the request. Just nothing makes sense.
- [74:59]
Ben Medelker
Yeah. Very, very not good. And then they have French onion soup for the.
- [75:07]
Ronnie Karam
Gazpacho. You're in Spain. A gazpacho.
- [75:10]
Ben Medelker
So I think he is doing what you were saying, which is the, the nod to like the supper club or whatever. Like the 50s stuff, but like mid century kind of food.
- [75:21]
Ronnie Karam
But I don't know.
- [75:23]
Ben Medelker
Yeah, it doesn't make sense. So then. And it's all also cold weather food. You know what I mean? So then, great point. They search it with a Hennessy French 75 or whatever. So then Shari's like, well, what happened to Daisy? Did she go take a nap app? She's serving you seven courses, dude. And she's probably not wanting to come up here because every time she comes up here, you guys bitch at her about something she's probably hiding from you.
- [75:50]
Ronnie Karam
Now it's 11:50pm Which I also did not even notice this. They 11:50pm when the fifth course comes up, it's a giant Mediterranean sea bass with squash puree with a passion fruit mojito. Like me. I mean, look, if the guests requested tropical drinks drinks, then that's fine. And you could definitely have a tropical drink with a crab cake and even sea bass. But just seems like this is such an inelegant and disgusting pairing that's happening all night long.
- [76:16]
Ben Medelker
So then they're just exhausted and they're like, we're so tired. This is too much alcohol. Can you split the drinks? And Daisy's like, you don't have to drink them all. I'm like, no, split them. Don't say that to a guest. Like, it's so weird. Even though I just said it, I didn't say it to the guest. It's just weird. So then. Then they're like, no, just instead of making six, make three and then split them. And she goes, oh, okay, I'll do that then. And then one of the friends is like, shari, you're just getting on her nerves. And she goes, well, it's her job to remember what the guests want, right? She's definitely talking. Oh, and one of her friends is like, yeah, well, she's definitely talking about you now, babe.
- [76:52]
Ronnie Karam
But Sherry is right, because that woman Julian did request, like, a small drink, and they gave her a full size drink. So, like, that is. I mean, I give a point to Sherry here.
- [77:01]
Ben Medelker
Yeah. So then, I mean, although Shari is the one that can't remember what she wants, but still. So then Glenn checks in on dinner, and Daisy, stupidly, is like, terrible. They hate everything. They hate me. I knock champagne on them. Two of them don't eat oysters, but it wasn't on their preference sheet. And he's like, oh, is the mood okay? She's like, die. I'm telling you, it's like nurses on a Saturday night without a cave to go to.
- [77:26]
Ronnie Karam
Oh, no, that's terrible. You know, we're used to guests walking off happy and having a great holiday. And on this charter, we're meant to bring it up to a higher level. It's not moving in the right direction. Like this boat trying to stay afloat, which it rarely does. I'm starting to worry.
- [77:44]
Ben Medelker
You know, I remember this happened one time in 1982. I just said that. So you guys up. There it is, the picture of me with an Afro. Okay, there it is. All right, go on with the show.
- [77:55]
Ronnie Karam
So then they're, like, talking, and Glenn's like, you guys, stop it. Because they may, like, show up at the staircase. So then CL goes upstairs. He's like, all right, the sixth course for you this evening is a filet mignon mashed potatoes. And inside of another filet mignon and a cream sauce. And you have to eat every single bite of it.
- [78:18]
Ben Medelker
And so then they get an apple crumble with vanilla ice cream and.
- [78:23]
Ronnie Karam
And a baby.
- [78:25]
Ben Medelker
It's too much, which is Kahlua and Bailey's in a Guinness.
- [78:29]
Ronnie Karam
Delicious, actually. I love a baby Guinness.
- [78:31]
Ben Medelker
So it's a lot. It's just a lot. A lot of heavy stuff. So then downstairs, I guess Keith has just woken up, and he. He's like, cloys. Cloys. Clothes. Clothes. Has a Royce Royce. Royce Royce. That's a Rolls Royce. Royce. Okay? And he's like, good morning, Keith, buddy.
- [78:51]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And then the guests just, like, go to bed. They're like, ah. And he's like, tonight dropping the ball. So get remembered.
- [79:07]
Ben Medelker
Last night, so close is giving chase about hooking up the other night. He's like, so how are you in bedtime stories? The other night he said, great, man. Actually got three bedtime stories. Whereas, if you know what I mean. Ding, ding, ding. Diana's just playing the triangle still. I will practice triangle and not care about the bedtime story.
- [79:29]
Ronnie Karam
And then he's asking, what about you? What about you? Cl and cl. Like, well, I think, honestly, the one I find to be most attractive is Daisy, and obviously a bit older. And Jason's like, well, like, you're her equal, bro. Like, you're a head chef. I don't give a how old she is. If you're intrigued and she's intrigued, you might just have to get it out of your system, buddy.
- [79:51]
Ben Medelker
Yeah. So then Gary's checking in with Daisy on their last day and she's like, I'm awful today. I'm dreading it. And so she's. She's like, oh, Chase, Chase, Daisy. Daisy, Chase, Chase, Daisy. Diesel. Listen, there's a bag in the car. Now are. I'm worried it's vomit. And so he's like, do you want me to get it and open it? She goes, I'd love it. So he opens it and he's like, yep, it's vomit. Why'd you have to do that? Don't put your face in it.
- [80:23]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Also like, why didn't you puke in your toilet? Is that. Is that a strange request on my end? Like, to like.
- [80:32]
Ben Medelker
It has to be. Sorry is right. It's like the lady who refuses to barf in the toilet.
- [80:36]
Ronnie Karam
Toilet, yeah. Because then later on she mentions. She's like, oh, I couldn't find. I couldn't find my trash bin, so we had to find a bag for me to throw up. And I'm like, what about your toilet? Have you never thrown up in a toilet? Do you understand how to do it?
- [80:50]
Ben Medelker
Super weird.
- [80:52]
Ronnie Karam
So they. They dock. They're. They serve breakfast. They serve like. So they serve, like a quiche. And as soon as I saw that quiche, I was like, they're not gonna like that. I'm just telling you right now, they're not gonna like this quiche. They're gonna be like, why is this omelette so tall? And why does it have a crust?
- [81:08]
Ben Medelker
Yeah, they do not like it.
- [81:10]
Ronnie Karam
You're correct.
- [81:11]
Ben Medelker
She. One of them's like, yeah, that Is not good. So. And now Daisy walks by Chase and Danny, who are hugging, and Daisy's like, too hot. Neither of you have something to do. Go find something to do. And Danny immediately gets all defensive, and she's like, oh, my God. As if you're doing any thing, bro. She's literally walking by to work.
- [81:30]
Ronnie Karam
She.
- [81:31]
Ben Medelker
She's.
- [81:32]
Ronnie Karam
Exactly. And Danny's like, like, you know. You know, Chase comes, like, past for, like, three minutes and just comes and speaks to me. And then Daisy walks past and has, like, the goddamn audacity to be like, do you not have anything to do? I'm like, it's not her audacity. It's her job as your boss to make sure that in this moment, while the guests are having breakfast, that you're, I don't know, cleaning their bedrooms or doing something other than flirting with Chase.
- [81:55]
Ben Medelker
For fuck's sake, woman. So Diana's. Diana's like, yeah, but I mean, it annoys me, too. She goes, well, then say something. You know, don't get pissed off at. Say something. She does. And then you act like this. And by the way, Daisy did just say something to you and look at your reaction.
- [82:11]
Ronnie Karam
So don't act like you literally said something.
- [82:14]
Ben Medelker
You're so calm with people just saying things to you.
- [82:17]
Ronnie Karam
Weirdo. She literally just said, if you have time to lean, you have time to clean. And like, now you're acting like it's shocking that. And no one said that you had time to lean when you were full on leaning.
- [82:27]
Ben Medelker
Yeah, stupid.
- [82:29]
Ronnie Karam
So the guests are packing up and everything.
- [82:31]
Ben Medelker
And.
- [82:32]
Ronnie Karam
And Sherry, they're like. They gather in, like, the salon. And Shari's like, okay, guys, just between us, does anyone have any complaints? Do you think that you had five star service? And Jillian's like, well, I got sick and we couldn't find.
- [82:46]
Ben Medelker
They said, seven star service. I think, because I was like, how many stars are there?
- [82:51]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
- [82:51]
Ben Medelker
At some point they said, is this seven star service? I was like, wait a minute, are we changing the rules now? Jesus, we gotta fight for our stars these days.
- [83:00]
Ronnie Karam
And so, yeah, Jillian's like, I got sick and we couldn't find a trash can. And then this woman Tanya goes, yeah, I don't know what to do with the trash can. Go barf in a toilet, people. Jesus. So this is weird.
- [83:12]
Ben Medelker
They're having, like, a little meeting about what they're gonna tip, I guess. And so then they bring in Glenn and, well, the. The crew. Someone on the production crew obviously tells Glenn. They're like, go talk to them. So he's like, hi. Is everything okay? Is there something you want to tell me? And so Jillian's like, well, we're trying to debrief to find out pluses and things that could improve. And when it comes to this level of luxury, you want what you pay for. And there was just a few hiccups here. And Shari's like, jillian, just tell the truth. Do it. And so Daisy's looking in there knowing that they're about to get screwed, you know, because this is definitely like a we're not tipping you situation. So do you think this is a sitch where they're not going to tip?
- [83:58]
Ronnie Karam
I think they'll tip. I don't think it'll be a good tip right now. I think the. The lowest tip of the season is still Dr. Contessa, who actually had a perfectly, I think, a generally good charter. So we're gonna see. Can these. Will these people be better or worse than Dr. Contessa? Because that is the bar to. To beat. So I don't know. They might not tip. They were real. They were real. Really?
- [84:26]
Ben Medelker
They were real pissed. I mean, to have a whole meeting about it and the captain's there and everything is not looking good. But we'll see.
- [84:34]
Ronnie Karam
Yep, we'll see. But for now, that's it for this episode. We'll see what happens next week. Thanks for everyone who listens, keep an eye out for that crappy's ballad. And also, don't forget to buy tickets to the crappy crappies themselves. February 1, New York City Town Hall. Or just come see us on the road@watchwordens.com for the tickets. Bye, everyone. Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.
- [85:02]
Ben Medelker
Our way is the amber way.
- [85:03]
Ronnie Karam
It's always automatic with Ashley Auto.
- [85:06]
Ben Medelker
Ashley Savoni. See, don't take no baloney.
- [85:08]
Ronnie Karam
Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Catherine D. Bernardo has our heart.
- [85:13]
Ben Medelker
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offa. Dana C. Dana do. She's not just a Sheila. She's a daniella etchels.
- [85:20]
Ronnie Karam
Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no trickolas. Jamie, she has no less namey. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go Hugo. We all go for Hugo.
- [85:31]
Ben Medelker
Hava Nagila Weber. Know your worth with Jason Kerr.
- [85:35]
Ronnie Karam
We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns.
- [85:37]
Ben Medelker
She's our kind of message. Jennifer Message sipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch.
- [85:41]
Ronnie Karam
Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manock's door. She's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock Kristen.
- [85:47]
Ben Medelker
The Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet With Lacey B.
- [85:51]
Ronnie Karam
Ringing the funk It's Leslie Plunkett she.
- [85:54]
Ben Medelker
Gets an A from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Bur. You can't have a burger without the.
- [86:07]
Ronnie Karam
Berg this is Living with Michelle Vivian.
- [86:10]
Ben Medelker
I love a y'all Olivia Williamson Tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson have a.
- [86:16]
Ronnie Karam
Heck of a time with Rebecca she sure is swell It's Raquel Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman the Bay Area.
- [86:25]
Ben Medelker
And our super Premium sponsors she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10cc.
- [86:32]
Ronnie Karam
Of Betsy MD she's got a leg up it's Beth Ani we're taking the.
- [86:37]
Ben Medelker
Gold with Brenda Silva don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides Nobody holds a.
- [86:45]
Ronnie Karam
Candle to Jamie Kendall we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Junie my Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod.
- [86:58]
Ben Medelker
Shadley let's go on a bender with.
- [87:00]
Ronnie Karam
Lauren Fender we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy always killing it It's Lola.
- [87:07]
Ben Medelker
Al Kalani the incredible edible Matthew Sisters she eases our woes It's Melissa St.
- [87:13]
Ronnie Karam
Rose Give him hell Ms. Noel Put.
- [87:16]
Ben Medelker
On a kettle for Rebecca Weddle she's.
- [87:18]
Ronnie Karam
The queen bee It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, let's take off with Tamla playing She ain't no.
- [87:25]
Ben Medelker
Shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondery.com survey.