#2690 RHONY S15E014 Part One: You Bugme Berkeley

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Summary
Episode: #2690 - RHONY S15E014 Part One: You Bugme Berkeley
Release Date: January 16, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam | Wondery

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Episode Overview

In episode #2690 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the fourteenth episode of Season 15 of The Real Housewives of New York City (RHONY), titled "You Bugme Berkeley." This first part of a two-part recap focuses on the escalating tensions and dramatic encounters that unfold during the housewives' extended vacation in Puerto Rico.

Extended Puerto Rico Vacation

Ben and Ronnie kick off their discussion by highlighting the unusually long duration of the housewives' stay in Puerto Rico. With five of the fifteen-season episodes set against this backdrop, the hosts find humor in the show's decision to spend a third of the season on vacation.

Ben: "They spent five episodes in Puerto Rico. It's kind of hilarious to think they've spent a third of their season on this vacation."
[06:31]

Ronnie agrees, noting that while vacations typically serve as a plot device to introduce new drama, the extended stay led to filler content that slowed down the season's momentum.

Conflict Between Uba and Bryn

A significant portion of the episode centers around the fraught relationship between Uba Rothschild (UBA) and Bryn Tansey. The tension reaches a boiling point during a beach outing where UBA expresses strong disapproval of the beach's condition.

Ronnie: "UBA's like, 'Don't go in the water. It's disgusting.' Is this disgusting? No one go. Everyone, please do not even look at the water."
[11:23]

This confrontation sets the stage for a series of conflicts, with Bryn and Aaron consistently antagonizing UBA. The hosts dissect these interactions, emphasizing UBA's defensive posture and Bryn's relentless trolling.

Ben: "UBA is acting like a living, breathing thermometer... She's like a bomb cyclone. Just arrives, makes everything cold, then goes away."
[16:25]

Hosts' Reactions and Insights

Throughout the recap, Ben and Ronnie express their frustrations with the housewives' behavior, particularly targeting UBA and Bryn. They critique UBA's inability to control her emotions and Bryn's strategic provocations.

Ronnie: "This episode demonstrates why Aaron sucks so fucking clearly. And Bryn, too. But mostly Aaron time."
[29:35]

Ben offers a slightly more nuanced view, suggesting that while UBA's actions are frustrating, they might stem from underlying concerns, such as her upcoming fibroid surgery.

Ben: "Maybe she's worried about the fibroid surgery she told us about... I think she's actually turning into a pretty good housewife."
[46:44]

The hosts also lament the show's repetitive nature, likening it to a "slumber party" that lacks fresh and engaging content.

Notable Quotes

• Ben: "How do we go from the best time ever to a Shakespearean tragedy?"
  [07:42]

• Ronnie: "Nature's giving a little Bethenny Frankel these days... Maybe it's time to put down the TikTok."
  [12:28]

• Ben: "UBA is the original patron saint of Puerto Rico, Bethenny Frankel."
  [13:03]

• Ronnie: "UBA might be playing into that a little bit. She doesn't really have the je ne sais quoi to really pull it off."
  [45:33]

Key Moments Highlighted

1. Dead Pigeon Incident:
   UBA's disdain for the beach conditions, highlighted by a dead pigeon, sparks a heated argument. This moment is dissected by the hosts as emblematic of UBA's over-the-top reactions.

2. Synchronized Swimming Drama:
   Bryn's obsession with orchestrating a synchronized swimming event becomes a focal point of ridicule, showcasing her tendency to create unnecessary drama.

3. Fake Apologies and Gaslighting:
   UBA's attempts to deflect blame and gaslight other housewives are scrutinized, with Ben and Ronnie criticizing her lack of genuine remorse.

4. Bryn's Prank with Wigs:
   Bryn's decision to buy and distribute wigs as a prank is mocked by the hosts, who find the stunt both immature and disruptive to the group's dynamic.

Dynamic Between the Housewives

The tension between UBA and Bryn is portrayed as the driving force of the episode. Ronnie emphasizes how both women contribute to the toxic environment, with UBA's defensiveness and Bryn's provocations exacerbating conflicts.

Ronnie: "Bryn knows she takes those weak qualities that she sees in somebody... So Bryn just has a different way of scaring you guys."
[07:42]

Ben and Ronnie also touch upon the broader implications of these interactions, suggesting that such behavior undermines the show's appeal and alienates viewers.

Hosts' Critique of Show's Direction

Ben and Ronnie critique the show's focus on repetitive conflicts and filler content, expressing a desire for more substantive and engaging storylines. They highlight moments where the show feels stagnant, comparing it to being stuck in purgatory.

Ben: "It feels like we're sitting in on a slumber party. That's not very appealing to me."
[08:37]

Conclusion and Teasers

As the episode wraps up, the hosts tease the continuation of the recap in part two, promising to delve deeper into the ensuing drama and conflicts among the housewives.

Ronnie: "Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap for part two. See you over there, suckers."
[49:48]

Final Thoughts

In this first installment of their RHONY recap, Ben and Ronnie effectively capture the escalating tensions and flawed dynamics that define the current season. Their insightful and often humorous commentary provides listeners with a comprehensive understanding of the episode's key moments, while their candid critiques shed light on the show's repetitive and sometimes tiresome narrative choices. As they prepare to continue their analysis in part two, listeners can anticipate further exploration of the dramatic clashes and personal vendettas that make The Real Housewives of New York City a perennial source of entertainment and debate.

Transcript

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

Well, I can tell you something. I am actually in the process of trying to revamp this room that I'm sitting in right now where I record the podcast and I want to get some chairs and I am going to go to Wayfair to get it done.

[Ronnie]

I actually just did that. I just designed my deck and was finishing it all up and I actually got most of my stuff on Wayfair. I got these amazing, huge deck like lounger chairs. They look stunningly gorgeous. I mean, they look fantastic and I got them for an amazing price.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Keke Palmer]

Hey y'all. It's your girl, Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. If you're ready for that new year new mindset energy, you've got to tune in to, baby. This is Keke Palmer. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well being, check out New Year New Mindset on the Wondery app.

[Ben]

Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens?

[Ronnie]

Oh, hello and welcome to what what Crappens? A podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Oldebrovs. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hi, Ben.

[Ben]

Hi, Ronnie.

[Ronnie]

How's it going Everybody? Welcome. It's January 15, 2025 and we're here to record Real Housewives of New York City. We are about to head on a whirlwind tour. We start in San Francisco followed by San Diego and we're going to do a Salt Lake City reun recap. We're going to do them in both cities because we take five hours to recap that one. So come watch that. It's going to be our first Salt Lake City live recap of the season. We're so excited live and we're so excited. And then the next week we'll be in New York City on Broadway doing the Golden Crappy Awards. It's going to be an amazing show. You can vote for that now over at our Instagram or watch what crappens.com also we will be in San Diego and Salt Lake City the following week. So get your tickets for all that good stuff at Watch what crappens. If you like video recaps, we are on video every day. Catch them at Patreon. It's also where you get your traders recaps which are great. I mean we love that show that's going on right now. And if you don't want to pay for Patreon, don't worry about it. Go over to YouTube and get the videos for free a week after they are published. Ben, what say you today?

[Ben]

Well, we're here today to talk about Real Housewives of New York and you know as was teased in the below deck selling yacht recap I have right here. You may hear the rustling. This is some ASMR for those who are watching. I'm holding up something in tissue paper and you know what it is. Let me open it up. Big ASMR moment. This is fun. Tissue Paper. It really feels nice. It is a genuine. From the lady herself, Rebecca Minkoff. Bag that. Thank you very much, Rebecca Minkoff, for sending us bags. Look how cute it is.

[Ronnie]

I love it. Yeah. Thank you, lady.

[Ben]

Yeah, this is very, very cool. I actually really like it a lot. And like I was saying yesterday, I am, you know, I'm slowly converting into a. A man purse sort of guy. So, you know, this. This could be. This could be the future.

[Ronnie]

That'd be it. I love it, man. You're going to look fabulous in that. Thank you so much, Rachel. That was so sweet. I can't wait to rock that in New York City when we're there next week.

[Ben]

Sorry.

[Ronnie]

All right, let's get on with this. Not season finale. Should be, but it's not. But this is the episode where they have been showing us everything from the beginning of the year. This is where the big breakdown starts on Real Housewives of New York City. This episode is called quit your beach in. And it is the penultimate. The penultimate episode of the season.

[Ben]

So I was doing a little math. I was looking. This is episode 14. Next week is going to be the season finale, and that's also going to take place in Puerto Rico. They headed to puerto Rico, episode 11. So that was episode 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. That's five episodes that they've spent in Puerto Rico. This is, I think, one of the longest vacation spans we've had on the Housewives. Fifteen episodes in the season, five of them in Puerto Rico. It's kind of hilarious to think they've spent a third of their season on this vacation.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, well, hey, listen, you know, get when the getting's good, I guess.

[Ben]

Listen. Yeah, I mean, they had. I would say this. This Puerto Rico vacation has been helpful for the show. Like, there has been stuff going on. There was one episode in there that was pretty rough when they went to Old San Juan. Like, that was the episode that they had. They needed to stretch out the season, I think. I think they were like, we need to get this. We need to get them into Puerto Rico as soon as possible because the stuff in Manhattan is not really popping off. So we need to move this. This vacation up. But now we don't have enough content for five episodes of vacation. So let's watch them walk around Old San Juan for an episode and look at Abe's dick. Okay, we got out of the way. Now we can get back to the good stuff. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie]

And we'll try and look at Abe's dick again because, you know, that one's just keeps them coming back. Keeps them coming back every week. So, yeah, here we are. This already episode already has a title. I would title it probably around find out because that is kind of this episode. Aaron and Brynn have been picking, picking, picking, picking, picking and picking all season. And now that they are actually called out, they're both crying like little fucking babies with a. We knew they would be acting like the little victims.

[Ben]

Yeah, like, you know, I get it. UBA is. Is a lot. You know, she would probably exhaust me too. But ultimately, I've just been on her side for, I think, almost all of this stuff. Maybe not the. The beach stuff. She was being, I think, pretty rude about that. Speaking. I've been on UBA's side about this, and I would also probably be flying off the handle if I had to deal with Brin. Oh, my God, Bryn is so juvenile. And she. I think I mentioned last week that one of my issues with this show is that it kind of feels like we're sitting in on, like, a slumber party. And that's, like, not very appealing to me. And I think that, like, Bryn may be the one. She may be the rotten apple that is spoiling the. The bunch, because I think she. It does bring that kind of, like, SL Summer party energy, and then it's kind of infectious and it's just, you know what? I'm Team uba.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I mean, I am too, I think. I think UBA acts like a jackass through most of this episode, too, I have to say. I mean, she really started at the beach last week and it gets worse this week. But, you know, again around find out. I can see why she's over it, that's for sure. She cannot escape these two. They don't stop. And they don't stop in this one either. So let's get into it. So we're still on the trip, everybody. And Raquel's going, what a trip. And Aaron goes, yeah, it was really a blast. Until last night. Doodly doot, doodly doot. And we flashback to last night at 11:03pm and UBA's like, this is lying, you son of a. And then flash night to 10:15, and Bryn's like, oh, y'all think I'm dudes for money.

[Ben]

No one thinks that. It's like, yeah, no one thinks that, Bryn. So then we see also another flashback, Aaron to Jessel. Maybe your husband should apologize to her for calling her a fucking bitch and saying she's bipolar.

[Ronnie]

And Then flashback to 9:39pm and UBA's like, I'm naked. I'm naked. I don't want to talk. Because Aaron's trying to make her talk while she's taking a shower. Like, get the cameras out of here, bro. Like, this is what I'm talking about. Like, everybody's online. Like, Uber's losing her mind. What would you do if you're in the shower and some lady comes in with a film camera? Get out. Can I get any. I think he's like, my mom used to say when she went to the bathroom and we would knock and ask for her attention, I'm in the bathroom.

[Ben]

Because I have one minute of privacy. God damn it. These are actually flash forwards to what we're going to see. And so basically Aaron's telling us, how do we go from the best time ever to a Shakespearean tragedy? Like, how? I'm like, was it the best time ever? I think we have to start there with that premise because we're about to go back to the sad beach.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, no, these were flashbacks. But now we flash forward to Aaron saying that. And then we flash. It's like Lost.

[Ben]

You know, here's the thing. Time is immaterial because as far as we can tell, we have been stuck in purgatory. But this season, for many.

[Ronnie]

I was gonna say, no matter what time it is, I can tell you right now, it's been wasted.

[Ben]

No matter what time it is, I don't have time for Brent. Okay? Yours is better. So we're back at the beach. So Uba's acting like an asshole about this beach beach. Is it a glamorous beach? No, but it's a perfectly fine, functional beach. There is a dead bird. There is a fish that is flopping around in a. In a pool. You know what's. It happens. These things happen at a Beach. And UBA's like, it is disgusting. Do not go in the water. Is this disgusting? No one go. You know, everyone, I beg you, please do not even look at the water. Okay? Close your eyes and pretend the water's not even there.

[Ronnie]

And Brand's like, but I wanted to pee in the ocean. It's like, don't do it. I'm telling you. So size like I'm in Puerto Rico. I'm going to swim in the water. Give me a fucking break. And Raquel just goes, I mean, it's nature. Pigeons die.

[Ben]

Although there is something about like a face down pigeon in the sand with the flies around it that just feels at this. In this moment of like bird flu talk. It's like, maybe we'll. Maybe. Let's go to Jamba Juice, so.

[Ronnie]

Raquel, stop lifting up nature. We've all seen, especially right now, what a bitch nature is, and, you know, sometimes it's the original. Give me a sunset. Give me. You know, for every. Every one sunset there, how many people are in the world, Ben?

[Ben]

About 35.

[Ronnie]

Okay, let's say how many billions of people. Come on, give me 35 billion.

[Ben]

I don't know, 10 billion.

[Ronnie]

Okay, no, for every one sunset we get a day, we get about 35 billion poops as well. So don't talk to me about nature. You know, it ain't all pretty, okay? It's mostly nature. That's what I like. Air conditioning. That's what I like.

[Ben]

Nature's giving a little Bethenny Frankel these days, okay? I think. You know what? Maybe it's time to put down, like, maybe, like, go on pause. Put down the TikTok. That's like. Because there are, you know, there were times where we just really loved nature, and nature is really the most successful of all the Real Housewives. But also right now, nature is driving us all nuts, and we just need nature to step away for a moment.

[Ronnie]

Well, you know, they're going to put down the TikTok because supposedly it's being put down on Sunday. Did you know that?

[Ben]

Well, yeah, I did this. This could be the end. Wow.

[Ronnie]

Right?

[Ben]

Of course they will, because where else.

[Ronnie]

Am I going to stand in, like a. Like, do my dances in the 1 foot diameter?

[Ben]

Like, you know who's going to save it? Mom talk.

[Ronnie]

Mom talk.

[Ben]

Bethany, save it.

[Ronnie]

I can't believe Bethany doesn't have a huge charity to save TikTok yet.

[Ben]

This is a crisis, okay? It's a crisis.

[Ronnie]

She's just throwing cash cards at our heads.

[Ben]

The original patron saint of Puerto Rico, Bethany Frankel. So. Oh, my God, look at this. Look at this. This person doesn't have electricity. It's terrible. Oh, my God. Look at this beach. There's a dead pigeon on the beach. Okay? This is a crisis, okay? I'm putting up a flag around this pigeon that says, this is a crisis. Okay? Dead pigeon. Here's a. Here's a card for you. I'm giving you this card, okay? You can go buy yourself something with it, okay? I'm going home. Going home.

[Ronnie]

Speaking of the beach, did you see the video of Ramona Singer in Florida where she's like, whoa. You know, look. Look at me. I'm in a bathing suit. Look at pretty. The water. It's Just gorgeous. You know, look at the ocean, look at the sand, look at the sun. Fortunately, people in LA don't know what that's like right now, because they're miserable. What can you do? Sorry. Sorry. Okay. I'm having a good time.

[Keke Palmer]

Sit.

[Ronnie]

And people are like, what a fucking monster.

[Ben]

I was like, she's really good at state shaming. She was like, no, I just wanted to show it's not just New Jersey that lives in the state of depravity. Okay. Good old Ramona. So Raquel is. So Raquel tells us, I would never go to anyone's home country and start bitching and complaining about a place that they're taking me to that they told me was one of their favorites as a child. I'm like, that's exactly correct. You would never do that. You just do it. What you do is you do it behind their backs in private, over brunch, when you get home. I mean, come on. That's how you do it, guys.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. She's like, this is her local beach. It's not Gringo Beach. You know, Gringo beach is where the tourists go, and if the beach is good enough for Jenna, it's good enough for all you bitches.

[Ben]

So this beach isn't good enough for me. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Jenna's like, I'm just gonna, like, lie here like I always do, and just to pretend everything's okay. Compartmentalize. Compartmentalize. And Uba's still going disgusting. Literally disgusting. And Saya's trying to shut her up, but it's not working. And Jessel's like, like, oh. As she's saying everything, I'm thinking I want to be like, preach, sister. But I can't do that because, you know, I want to be respectful.

[Ben]

So. So I was like, okay, try to. Just try to relax. Okay. You know, this. This is a beautiful setup. Raquel, I really like what you did here. And she's like, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It is very nice. It is a very nice setup on a disgusting beach. It's like, okay, okay, Uber.

[Ronnie]

So a couple of the girls go in the water. Brynn and Aaron and Raquel. And Brynn's like, I don't like that. UBA just came up and was like, don't go in the water. Like, I saw one dead pigeon, and that's, like, disgusting. And the water is, like, disgusting. And Aaron's like, yeah, gross. And Raquel didn't like it either. And she's like, it's just too much. It's, like, weird energy. Like Usually I accuse Jessel of being like, think before you speak, but UBA does the same shit. It's so gross.

[Ben]

Uber is like, like a living, breathing thermometer and not the type of thermometer you stick up someone's butt. You have to, like, check that weather report every day. Like, there might be a thunderstorm. There might be a tornado. There could be a goddamn earthquake. Which is funny because you don't, like, tell what an earthquake is going to come on a thermometer. Oh, my God, you guys, am I losing you?

[Ronnie]

The problem with this is that you are the natural disaster that's coming. That's why we need the thermometer in the first.

[Ben]

I know.

[Ronnie]

What are you complaining about? I don't want to hear the hurricane complaining.

[Ben]

Yeah, I don't want that at all. She's not as entertaining as a hurricane. She's like. She's like a bomb cyclone. Just a thing that arrives and makes everything cold then goes away.

[Ronnie]

So the girls, like, you know, UBA deep down, is like, the sweetest, but she literally becomes like a different person. Like, you say one tiny thing. I mean, you say you get your head. You don't just say one tiny thing. You pick and you poke and you pick and you poke. And that's why your head's fucking chopped off, you know? But nobody's going to tell Bryn that because they're all. Everybody in this episode says you can't talk to UBA because everybody's terrified to. To go against uba. It's the same for Bryn. Bryn just has a different way of scaring you guys. No one wants to be on Bryn's bad side either.

[Ben]

And in fact, they always say something to UBA and they never say something to Bryn. So Raquel is basically like. She's like, I'm just gonna. I'm gonna talk with her. That's what. That's what I'm gonna have to do. So Aaron's like, well, of course Raquel is valid and feeling has had some strong reactions so far on this trip. And then we see UBA being an asshole about the rooms, an asshole about being the. Being at the beach and everything. And at dinner, I mean, Uber was. We. We gave Uba some. We. We let her hold some space because she wasn't feeling well, but she was still being a dick at dinner. But also she was reacting because she was not feeling well, and she was sitting there and was fine. And then Bryn was coming at her. She didn't want to deal with it. So Bryn put Uba into a bad mood. Bryn has a total inability to be considerate to her friend's needs. She's just gonna, like, make her friend feel worse at a table when her friend is already feeling sick.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And look, here's the thing. This is housewives. There's room for so many truths. UBA is an. She's. That's true. Uber is a. She's full of herself. She's selfish. She's a brat. She doesn't go try to get a room, but then when she's not given a good room, she cries like a little baby. She's a brat. Okay, but. But Brennan's worse. Like, that's where I'm coming from. Bryn knows she takes those weak qualities that she sees in somebody, and she's like, okay, this person will lose her temper if I do xyz. And then I will do XYZ just for funsies. And that's what makes her worse, you know? So, Bryn, you suck more, in my opinion.

[Ben]

And Aaron's like, well, maybe it's not just what's going on here. Maybe she's worried about the fibroid surgery she told us about. Well, yeah, I mean, especially, like, you know, this is like a fairly common thing in housewives that, like, someone has a medical issue. Aaron has. You know, she is very concerned about her parents in this. In. On this trip. And, you know, she is asking for grace in these moments. And here it's kind of like, oh, well, maybe she's worried about surgery. I don't know. But, like, whatever. It's uncalled for. It's like, yes, yes, it may be uncalled for, but, like, where is the grace that you're asking other people to give to you? Where. Where is it for. For Uba when, you know, she's actually probably nervous about this surgery.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So. Well, that's what she's saying right now. Right? She's kind of giving her the grace, I guess, in this confessional.

[Ben]

Not really knowledging. She's acknowledging that she could be giving grace, but she's not giving it.

[Ronnie]

Okay. Yeah. So then Bryn's like, when she said, I sucked a dick for work, she didn't say that, though, but keep trying. Keep trying to make that. Could she have worded it better? Sure, but she didn't technically say that. And she's like, well, I'm not going to be disrespected until I suck dick for jobs. And if I did suck dick for jobs, then. And I'd be in the Oval Office. It's Time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. When it comes to winter, it's like survival of the fittest out there and I'm willing to do or buy whatever I can to stay cozy. For the ultimate cold weather necessities made from premium materials, you've got to check out quince.

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[Keke Palmer]

Crappins hey y'all, it's your girl, Keke Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about New Year, new me, well on, baby. This is Keke Palmer. We're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspectives, and honey, it's gonna change your life. I sat down with astrology queen Chani Nicholas. Y'all, if you wanna understand yourself better, this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely gonna hit different. If you're ready for that New Year New Mindset energy, you've gotta tune in to Baby, this is Keke Palmer. Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well being, check out New Year New Mindset on the Wondery App. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby. Hey y'all, it's your girl, Keke Palmer. And let Me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about New Year, new me. Well on, baby, this is Keke Palmer. We're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspectives, and, honey, it's gonna change your life. I sat down with astrology queen Chani Nicholas. Y'all, if you want to understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible Da Vinci where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely going to hit different. If you're ready for that new year new mindset energy, you've got to tune in to baby, this is Keke Palmer. Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tend to your well being, check out New year, New Mindset on the Wondery app. Let's make this year our best one yet, baby.

[Ben]

So now Aaron tries to do, like, a hoverboard thing, which she's really, really bad at, and she keeps falling over. And then there's also, like, a lifeguard that's sort of guarding them. I. I kind of feel like it's. I think that, like, when. When it comes to, like, shooting scenes. Bravo. Like, it's like, mandatory that there has to be a lifeguard there because there's also a random lifeguard at a Potomac scene recently with a pool. So they have this like, like, cute teenager that's there. And Brynn is like, oh, my God, who's this, like, little lighter Bambi hair? Should I pretend like I'm joking?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So she does the thing. She does the Sonya thing and lies on the ground. She's like, oh, my God, I'm too. And everyone's just watching her like, yikes. Uber's like, cringe, cringe. I cringe. Uber cringe. So then she's like, oh, my God, I was dying and you didn't even save me. Good. He's the audience.

[Ben]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ronnie]

The audience is like, leave her. Leave her there.

[Ben]

She was an avatar for this show in general, and the lifeguard was the audience. So Bryn is like, I, like, Bennett, call me out on my shit. Based on how you react when other people call you out on your. I'm not sure that's totally true.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

So Jess is like, I mean, it's like an acrobat Gone wrong. She's crawling through the sand like a little sand cat or whatever that is. What? What is it? Just, you know, a classic sand cat that walks around the beach. Whatever that is. Whatever that thing is. I'm like, I don't think there is a thing.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So basically, that wacky scenes up. So then Si's like, yeah, you know, this is the first time I seen Bryn flirt with a teenage boy. I mean, I've seen her flirt with a lot of daddies, but Jenna's like, yep, I'm gonna go get myself in the water because I'm just getting eaten mostly by embarrassment for Bryn. So, yeah, I'll be over there.

[Ben]

Meanwhile, Siah's picking out her foot. She's like, I gotta get the glass out of my foot. It's really bothering me. I'm like, I cannot believe she's walking on a public beach or even a private beach. You know, those beaches have. Have all sorts of stuff in the sand. And she's walking around with this, like, embedded glass in her foot. I was like, oh, my God, you're gonna lose your look, you're gonna lose your entire leg. You're gonna get green, please. So she puts a condom over her foot, which I felt was actually a pretty decent idea, considering the situation. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

She's like, yeah, you know what? Like, if a guy tells you that a condom don't fit, don't believe him, because my foot's huge. So then we go to back to hoverboard. I'm surprised Aaron's not better at hoverboarding, because she literally just hovers. That's what she does. Like, her whole personality is just hovering. Like, aren't you mad at Brin? Why aren't you mad at Bran? You should totally be mad at Brent. Aren't you mad at Jessel? You should totally be mad at Jessel. Like, girl, it's the same thing you do all day long. It's just in the water. Get with the program. Be you.

[Ben]

Yeah. Jessel's like, she looks great doing this. It's like when you. It's like when you see the Baywatch lifeguards, like, running, and they dive in the water, and it's like, they save people. It's like, that's cool to watch. It's like when Pavit thought that a banh Mi was drowning in the east river, and he just jumped right in to save it. And then he realized it was just a plastic bag floating along. Still very heroic.

[Ronnie]

And Bryn's like, look, I've Seen the tiktoks and Americans who do water sports. It doesn't end well.

[Ben]

Okay, so then we're back, like a.

[Ronnie]

Niche of Americans just being bad at water sports.

[Ben]

Classic Americans being bad at water sports. So then Rebecca's like, guys, I haven't said anything, and I really only feel like saying one thing this episode. So I just want to say this. Please gather around. I was thinking about going to get some fresh coconut milk. Okay, yeah, yeah, let's do it.

[Ronnie]

Let's avoid the dead pigeon. So Jessel's like, where is it? Where is it? But how far is it? Oh, there's a sign. It's like coconut water.

[Ben]

I like to see just on the Amazing Race, like, let's try to avoid the dead pigeon. So Aaron is like, oh, my God, I think I got a fish bite. Look, is this a fish bite? Did a fish bite me? I'm like, come on, even fish have tastes. Stop.

[Ronnie]

The fish started to bite you, and then it died of boredom. It's literally floating in the water over there.

[Ben]

Okay, it was a side fish. I'm so hungry. God, all you have is Aaron butt to serve me.

[Ronnie]

So it starts raining. So Jess was like, oh, my God, my outfit. And so, you know, that's going on. And so now it's time to leave. And Uber's like, God, thank you for listening to my prayer. I don't want to be on this beach. So Raquel basically is like, yeah, I should have taken him to Gringo Beach.

[Ben]

So they go back, they go back. They go back to the house, they're splitting some chocolate. You know, they just sort of of snacking. And it's cold in there. And so there's sharing this chocolate now. And Uba's like, aaron, what's happened? Because I guess half her chocolate bar is gone. And I was like, whatever, I don't work here. The other half is in her stomach. Do you see what. I get it because she ate it. Like I did. I just ate it with that joke I'm eating right now. That's what the gays told me I should say. Is anyone gonna laugh? No.

[Ronnie]

So then, yeah, so Erin comes into their room with chocolate. And I just said. I said out loud, oh, wow, I wonder what shit Aaron's gonna start right now. Because that's literally the only reason she lives. So she does. She does. Like, literally right after I said it, she goes, so, Jessel, I heard you were upset this morning. And she's like, I wasn't upset. I was just confused because Bryn was so Activated. And then we see a flashback of Brynn being like, oh, my God, you have photographers. And then Justle's like, I just didn't understand why she was so upset. And it was like, what happened yesterday when we took a nap because we heard you had a little conference outside, Erin. And she's like, I didn't have a conference. I just listened.

[Ben]

Yeah, this is why you wild.

[Ronnie]

This is why you suck right here. This episode demonstrates why Aaron sucks so fucking clearly. And Bryn, too. But mostly Aaron time.

[Ben]

Yeah. Together. I think what's hard is that Bryn, I think, tonally ruins the show. And Aaron is just annoying because she's like. She's. She's acting in, like, bad faith. She's like a bad actor. Not, like, bad, like, thespian, but she's, like a bad actor on this show. Like, she literally. She blatantly lies in a way that, like, given that. That there are various housewives who lie and, like. And bend the truth, she does it in a way that's kind of, like, humorless or not fun or just, like, sanctimonious. It's just. It's like, a frustrating thing to watch. So Jessal's like, you know, so who was it? Was it Brennan? Sy? And then she's like, why are you being so quiet? She goes, well, I think it would be helpful to call them in here. She's basically like, bring them in here, get mad at them, and then I'm gonna wipe my hands free of this.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. She's like, if we bring them in here, I can start fights between them all by suggesting different things, and then I can just watch them go at it, and I'll off the hook. Right? And she tells us, of course. She's like, listen, do I gossip with my friends? I mean, am I a girl? Yeah.

[Ben]

And uba, I was actually offended by that. I was offended by that, because as a man, I just know that we actually probably gossip way more than any women do. Yeah. Let's be honest. Guys gossip for sure so much.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So it was like. But I. I think you know more. And she's like, I don't know anything. You know? And she's like, didn't you take notes? You were part of the conversation, which I love because it's so true. And she's like, no, I just sat there and listened. And then we see the flashback to where, of course, Aaron's fucking lying, as usual, talking shit with the rest of them and also starting it because Sy wasn't over there naturally talking shit. Aaron And Brynn started her talking shit. So Uba's like, well. And she's like, listen, I think you should talk to them. Just ask them. And she goes, no, I want to hear. And she's like, yeah, but then if you hear what I heard, you're going to be like, aaron's a pigeon and she's a this, and I'm not going to do that anymore, you know.

[Ben]

Well, then stop acting like a pigeon. You're the one who. Oh, I guess UBA asked. But she's. I. I don't know why Aaron couldn't just say, yeah, we were talking about Jessel and talking about how Jessel got upset that one time. And that's it. It's everything we talked about last night. Like, how do you. How do you not debt it right there? But of course Eren wants Uber to be mad at them. And so. Because also when, when UBA gets mad at Brynn and Sai, it just brings those girls closer to Eren. So she, like, builds her alliance more strongly or stronger. So Aaron is like, I mean, she told me she's like really pissed at you, and she's never been more mad at anyone else in the group. I guess that was last. That was the flashback.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So Aaron's like, you know, it was just basically just like Aaron was, you know, I just can't win, you know, because if I say anything, you're gonna accuse me of saying anything or saying something. So then Uber's like, well, I'm protective of Jessel because, well, she doesn't have a backbone, so now is a good time to be a pigeon. Go get me tea, pigeon. And she's like, I'm not pigeoning right now. So then she's like, just trust what I'm saying is true. I was the one standing up against. I was standing up for you against those girls.

[Ben]

You didn't tell me any of this yesterday. I know. I'm telling you now. I'm telling you now.

[Ronnie]

Yesterday she told you truth about Bryn to get you mad, but then Bryn got herself off the hook, so now she's going to tell you lies to get mad at Brand. So you see how that works? So just up the game with her, guys. Just up the game.

[Ben]

So Bryn's like, she goes into Jenna Raquel's room, she's like, hey, it's time to wake up. We need you to be creative. Direct the synchronized swimming. So there's this ongoing thread, this episode that there's. There will be a synchronized swimming moment. And it takes them a Very, very long time to get to the synchronized swimming, but it's, like, threatened the entire episode. So now then they spend, like, hours.

[Ronnie]

Once they're there doing it. I was like, how many hours did you shoot this? It's a lot of shots for us, dude.

[Ben]

Why are you guys so fixated on this?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I don't know. So, yeah, it's like a big thing. And also, Bryn has a wacky things because, like, I know it's been a few days, but I'm still thinking about Jenna's bush. I didn't want to recreate it. So we see flashbacks to that, and then we see flashbacks getting everybody. Sorry, go ahead.

[Ben]

How could you just breeze over Jenna's very important character development of her history with synchronized swimming? Rani. It's a very compelling moment of Jenna saying, I'm always excited for synchronized swimming. I took it when I was young, I saw it in the Olympics, and they offered it at the pool I went to every summer, and I was like, like, count me in. Where's my hat? Oh, my God. I can't believe I just said that. I can't believe I just said that. It's like, great, great story.

[Ronnie]

You guys got me to open up about my synchronized swimming. I'm never gonna live this town. Never.

[Ben]

So, yeah. So Brynn is continuing with Jenna's Bush. Listen, it's one thing to talk about Jenna Bush. It's one thing to talk about Jenna's Bush.

[Ronnie]

I frankly don't want to hear about either one of them. Okay? One of your dads is a war criminal, and the other one is just bush hanging out of someone's underwear. I don't want to hear about either thing. So now we see a scene where Bran has bought wacky wigs from Amazon for everybody to put in their bush for a big joke for Jenna, which I'm sure is just going to be riotous. So then Bran's like, look, I ordered them off Amazon. And when, you know, Jeff can get prime same day delivery even on a Caribbean island.

[Ben]

Not.

[Ronnie]

But people for money.

[Ben]

Yeah. Seriously. So, okay, gather. Here we go.

[Ronnie]

Just gather yourself. It's going to be okay. We can do this.

[Ben]

I don't. Why do we have to be subjected to this? So what they basically do, you take.

[Ronnie]

The good, you take the bad. You take them all.

[Ben]

You have the parts of life, facts of life. There's a time you take. There's a time you take a wig and put it in your crotch and make it look like Janice Bush. Janice Bush.

[Ronnie]

Janice got a bush. And there has been bitten on the tush. The facts of life. The facts of life.

[Ben]

There's a time when you go to the pool and they offer synchronized swimming, and that's the time you figure out the facts of life are all about stupidity. Takes a lot to take a wig and put it in your crotch because we're talking about the facts of life.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ben]

I've got really far in that song.

[Ronnie]

You really did. You went for it. You went for the extended cut.

[Ben]

I. I did the.

[Ronnie]

You went for the.

[Ben]

I did the version that's in my itunes library. And if you think I don't have that in my itunes library, you are sorely, sorely mistaken, because I have have, quite frankly, a great, great TV tune collection that, you know, is that. That happens here.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So then cyan, Aaron, Raquel are talking, and of course, Aaron's gonna try to spread some more misery. So sides like, yeah, you know, sad it rained on the beach. That setup was really cute, Raquel. And Aaron's like, yeah, except for UBA talking about dead pigeons. Raquel, don't forget. Don't forget you have to fight with UBA now. And she's like, oh, God, it wasn't even a pigeon. It was just a dead bird. It's n backside. Aaron are talking now and doing the hair in their. In their vag or whatever. It's wacky. And so then Raquel, back to Raquel. Raquel's saying, you know, she was saying the beach is disgusting and size like. Well, I told her to stop, and she's like, but she listens to you. And she's like, well, it's also just because everything the island's been through because. So now they're talking to Uber, right? Isn't this where they come in to talk to?

[Ben]

I think you sort of.

[Ronnie]

Are they just saying the same thing?

[Ben]

I mean, I think. By the way, I don't think it really matters. I think technically you skipped ahead, because I did.

[Ronnie]

I can tell there was. I can't. Listen, here's what I'm doing. I'm reading one line, and then I'm just getting discussed over.

[Ben]

You skipped over the parts where they talk more about UBA not be able to control her emotions. It's the gaslighting of uba. I mean, the thing is this UBA again, UBA is emotional, but they also act like she's emotional with no provocation. And the truth is, they are constantly with her. Constantly, constantly, constantly, constantly. So anyway, I don't even know where we are now, but they are. They. This is when they come, like, all marching out.

[Ronnie]

Well, so they talk again. That Uber. You know, I'm gonna.

[Ben]

I'm gonna scroll down. I'm gonna scroll down to where you.

[Ronnie]

Are, you know, Uber.

[Ben]

Catch you.

[Ronnie]

So then size. Like, we know she's got a hard time controlling her emotions. So I understand Raquel's walking on eggshells. You know, I mean, if I went to Somalia and I said her beach was disgusting, she would go off on me. And Aaron's like, well, maybe you should say it in a way that show. You know, you could say it in a way that showed respect, you know? Go on, guys. You can do it.

[Ben]

So I just want everyone to know I am still scrolling through my little mouse, my functional mouse through all the. Walking out with the. With wigs in the bathing suits and. Oh, my God, I'm itchy. Oh, my God, Jenna, do you see it? I'm like, it's. It's going on forever. Like, I'm just like, when did we get through this part? When do we get to that conversation?

[Ronnie]

It's really a lot of time with this wacky, like, hair coming out of their underwear thing. And no, you know, Jenna's not getting it because she's not staring at their crotch all day, because that's not just what gay people do. Well, gay guys, sometimes. I do. I mean, I sometimes do, but I don't think gay women do that. And so they've kind of misdirected their bets because they keep thinking she's gonna look, but then Aaron makes it really obvious because she's Aaron. And then Jenna gives, like, a half hearted laugh. Laugh. And then they all laugh kind of half heartedly. And, I mean, it's like what I.

[Ben]

Always say, a hilarious prank.

[Ronnie]

It was.

[Ben]

It was hilarious. I mean, I understand. Like, I understand Jenna. Like, she is not gonna be staring. Looking for someone's pubes. It's like I always say, now the world don't move to the pube of just one bathing suit. What might be pubes for you may not be pubes for some. No. No, nothing, I guess. Truly. Different strokes, different books, different pubes.

[Ronnie]

It takes different pubes. It takes different pubes to rule the world. Yes, it does.

[Ben]

Now everybody's got a different kind of pube.

[Ronnie]

What you talking about? Pubis. Okay, so then everyone's happy because it's this wacky joke. And then so and so they're kind of looking at her, and she's like, oh, I guess I'll go talk to Uba. Now. So Brent's like, oh, she's better than us. That's how you do it, right, guys? Someone go watch. So then UBA goes, yeah, and Raquel. Raquel goes in.

[Ben]

Raquel goes into Uba's room, and Raquel's like. So I thought. The way I was just talking to the girls out there, and I thought it just. It wasn't very nice of you to run out saying, this is disgusting. Don't go in there. The water's disgusting. And UBA is totally. She's totally chill, and she totally is understanding about it. Just kidding. She's like, but it was disgusting, and it smells. And I have a picture to show you that there was a dead bird.

[Ronnie]

And she's like, uba, it's a beach. I mean, in your country, do birds not die? She goes, oh, my God. But if they do, I say it. And I wasn't rude to anybody. I mean, come on. What are we, blind? You know, you sold. This is B.S. you know, and if you were a travel agent, I'd never book it again. She's like, okay, but. But telling people is disgusting and not to go in the water. But it was disgusting. And in my home country, if I was on safari and there's a dead lion somewhere and some animal is eating it, I'll say it's disgusting too.

[Ben]

Yeah, but we're not saying.

[Ronnie]

You have that memory to pull from. Like, listen, I said it when it was a lion too.

[Ben]

Yeah, but it's not like saying, like, hey, guys, don't go playing around. The lion. The lion. It's like, no. So Psy just walks, and she just plants herself.

[Ronnie]

Hi.

[Ben]

What's going on? So Raquel's like, all right. But, like, when you came over, you said, don't go in the water. It's disgusting. And s. Like, yeah. And anything else after that, I. I look uber. I did look at you, and I said, stop. And it was like, yeah, she said stop, But I didn't. I didn't mean it in that way. And, like, you guys did not make me sign an NDA. You thought, bring me here didn't say, don't say anything about Puerto Rico. And she's like. She's like, no. No one's telling you not to say anything about Puerto Rico. But, sweetheart, it's rude. Do you know what this island has been through?

[Ronnie]

And she goes, oh, yeah.

[Ben]

Frankel came here.

[Ronnie]

This place is still some. There was a girl who was put on the hospital when a cash card got lodged in her temple. Bethany Frankel. Did that. And she's like, okay, well, the last time you were here was six years ago. I came here four times after the hurricane to shoot here, and I came to Puerto Rico more than you do. And she's like, okay. I mean, Uber sake, man. And I can see why Uba's on the defense in a way. Let me excuse it just the way, and then I'll completely erase it. I can see in a way why she's on the defense, because she says, I was talking to those girls out there, and I really think this was rude. So UBA's like, the second I walk away, of course those girls start talking about me, and now they get the new girl all riled up against me. This so she feels like she's defending herself from Brennan Aaron again, is how I'm taking this. That said, and I think it shouldn't matter, grow up. If somebody is telling you you were rude, you were rude, and you're in another country, and it came off as really insensitive, and your friends are here telling you it's rude, just say you're sorry. Dude, you're making this so much worse.

[Ben]

Yeah, I wonder. I think that she's probably trying to say, like, I don't know. I'm not even gonna try to make an excuse for Uber, because I do think she's being a real asshole in this moment. But I'm just trying to imagine what she was thinking. Maybe she's saying, like, hey, it's not like I'm being insensitive to Puerto Rico. I know what this island's all about. And this. This beach was just a shitty beach. And it's like. It's nothing about Puerto Ricans or, like, the. The people or the culture, but either way, it's like. It's just a really. It's just to. To try to, like, one up the actual, you know, Puerto Ricans in the room with being like, I've come here four times since then, and, like, part of Raquel's pain is that she hasn't been able to make it down there. So it was really like rubbing, you know, dead pigeon inflected salt in the wounds. So Raquel is like, yeah, I don't think so. Like, you don't like. So you understand Puerto Rico and Puerto Ricans? Okay, fine. Wonderful. So that makes the insults even worse.

[Ronnie]

Which is a good point. And so. Well, I think I understand, though, because, you know, Puerto Rico has been through a lot, you know, and it was like, oh, my God, every other word has been through so Much. You know, I'm number one. Puerto Rico, you are number two and three. And, well, it's just because we're here and we're trying to have fun. She goes, okay, so you're ganging up on me because you're Puerto Rico Ricans and I'm in Puerto Rico. Is that it? So they got all the Puerto Rican cast to come in here and give me shit.

[Ben]

What did I do? I just walked in. I just walked in.

[Ronnie]

Because UVA's not really wrong. I think at this part, she's like, okay, great. So now it's the coalition of Puerto Rico against me. She's like, oh, come on.

[Ben]

But she's also. Yeah, but also, it is their country. And the way that UBA was reacting was like, it was totally. It wasn't just like, ooh, there's a dead pigeon out there. It's gross. There was something very, like, classist that was coming out of it, right?

[Ronnie]

So she says, I have too much money to sleep in this bed. Now, here's the thing. Here's the other thing. These shows are about rich ladies being whatever, you know, and especially old Roni, you know, we saw it all the time. People being rude and especially Ramona. Like, what a monster. We saw it all the time. And I think UBA might be playing into that a little bit. Like, this is what you do, you know, you go. And then you're. You're, like, really snotty and talk about your money and this and that, and I get it. I think just. She doesn't really have the je ne sais quoi to really pull it off. You're supposed to be having fun with it. Like, it's just not. When people are telling you it's not working, I just take the note, you know what I mean? At this point, I don't know.

[Ben]

I mean, I think I was actually thinking that, like, UBA really has kind of had a breakout season. I mean, she's been frustrated all this time by all these people, but at the same time, like, I felt like last season, UBA was trying to do the. I'm so wacky, wacky, wacky, wacky. And now I kind of feel like we're seeing more of, like, the real uba, which is that she's pissed off, and these women piss her off. And I. I don't even think that, like, UBA is someone who is, like. Like a crazy hothead all the time. I think it's just that she just can't deal with these. This group of people. And who can blame her at this point? Yeah, I don't know what my, I don't know what my point is. I think. My point is, I think she's actually turning into a pretty good housewife.

[Ronnie]

Oh, really?

[Ben]

Yeah, I actually think so.

[Ronnie]

Listen, she is causing a lot of rage amongst the audience. She's all talking and I've, I haven't seen people talking about New York at all this season, really, except how much it sucks. Are people not happy with her episodes? Well, no, they're pissed at her. They're, you know, it's like. But now it's like a Bryn versus UBA thing, which is. Well, I mean, that is what it is on the show, but they, they both kind of suck. I mean, uba, I think, is at least charming and funny. The other times where I think Bryn is pretty much 90. A faker.

[Ben]

I think Uba was being an. About this speech. I think that her response was not, it was not the response that I think that she should have given. But it is one of the, that's, that's what the nature of this show is, is people who are stubborn and people who are privileged and people who are up their own asses. And I think I, I think that I'm so much more on Uba's side for everything else that I'm sort of in a place of like, like, you know, I'm, I'm gonna let this one slide for Uber.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

I also think, though, that this already, this discussion is actually what fuels her, her mood for the rest of the episode. Because basically Uba's, you know, she's, she's very defensive and she go. But then she pulls back and she goes, you know, I, I, you know, I didn't mean it in a rude way, me not to go in the ocean. I was not going to go in the ocean to begin with. I don't know how to swim. I'm not going to swim any where in crystal blue water with mountains. I'm. Don't go in the ocean. I just don't. I, I didn't mean it in a bad way. So she's, she's kind of like, you know, she's not apologizing what she said, but she's now that she hurt. Right. So they hug and it ends nicely. But I feel like after this fight, she is stewing. She's angry that she was confronted about this. And she's probably angry for the things that you mentioned that she probably thinks that the girls set Raquel up to do this. And I think that is the emotion that she carries into the rest of the episode.

[Ronnie]

I think she is ready to murder Br and Aaron and rightly so. And she says on the way out, she's like, I really didn't mean it. And don't listen to those people if they're trying to make you feel like I was being rude. Well, you were being rude. But see, she's saying Aaron and Bren are doing this and that's what, that's what does it. There we go. And she's already been pissed because I have been with her the whole time. And it's not an excuse, it's just a reason. You know what I mean? And she needs to learn how to handle it better cuz she's ridiculous too. And it really sucks when you should be so clearly in someone's corner. And I just wish she had someone there to help her and be like, uba, you're winning this. Those two look like all you have to do is the whole thing you were doing in the last episode until the very end of it where you were just kind of being nonchalant and being like, whatever, shut up, you idiot. You're insignificant. That's what you need to do in this situation. Don't give them what they want.

[Ben]

So Raquel is like, she's like, I don't know if I got through with her, but you know, I expect more from like an immigrant, you know, Although she goes, although Jessel's an immigrant and I don't expect more from her, I think she still doesn't understand the concept of Hurricane Maria.

[Ronnie]

So u was like, trust me, I'm the biggest Puerto Rico fan. I love this place. And guess who else? Puerto Rico's my biggest fan too, you know, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry that didn't work out for you, Raquel. But you know, it's great for me. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Coutar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music before you Go tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.