#2694 Southern Charm S10E06: Drown and Country

Summary

Watch What Crappens - Episode #2694: Southern Charm S10E06 "Drown and Country"

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: January 17, 2025
Platform: Wondery

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Introduction

In Episode #2694 of "Watch What Crappens," hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into Season 10, Episode 6 of "Southern Charm," aptly titled "Drown and Country." This episode explores the intricate web of relationships, conflicts, and dramatic moments that unfolded during the Southern Charm reunion party. Ben and Ronnie offer their trademark blend of humor and keen observations, providing listeners with an entertaining and insightful recap of the episode.

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Key Discussions and Plot Recaps

**1. Real Housewives and Bravo Drama

Ronnie kicks off the discussion by addressing missed moments from the previous week's episodes, specifically highlighting Austin’s erratic behavior at work. He remarks, “...we call out the druggies so much on the show that I don't see it worth calling out.” (05:34). This sets the tone for their unfiltered critique of the ongoing drama within the show.

**2. Vanita's Development and Storylines

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Vanita’s storyline. Ben notes, “This was her first time ever, I think, becoming the focal point of a show teaser” (06:48), praising the character’s increased screen time. However, Ronnie voices frustration over unresolved plotlines, such as the mysterious "worm in the tree," saying, “How am I supposed to know what happened with the worm in the tree?” (07:10). The hosts express mixed feelings about the writers' decisions, appreciating Vanita’s prominence but lamenting the lack of continuity.

**3. Character Dynamics and Conflicts

The hosts dissect the complex relationships among the cast members. Ben highlights Craig’s conflict with Austin, stating, “Craig is actively forcing JT off the show because now no one wants to shoot with him” (14:17). They explore the tensions between Craig and JT, emphasizing how conflicting loyalties and past betrayals drive the drama forward.

**4. Madison and Sally’s Tensions

Madison and Sally's interactions are a focal point of the episode. Ronnie sarcastically refers to Madison's emotional moments, saying, “Madison's insane right now” (14:17), while Ben comments on Sally's confrontational attitude towards her mother, illustrating the generational and personal tensions within the cast.

**5. Taylor’s Struggles and Relationships

Taylor's storyline is another area of intense discussion. Ben humorously criticizes her vocabulary, “I'm fixated on that hubbub” (09:09), while Ronnie mocks her relationship decisions, pointing out inconsistencies and calling out her ex-fiancé’s infidelity. The hosts delve into Taylor’s attempt to balance her personal life with the pressures of the show, highlighting her frustrations with recurring romantic issues.

**6. Austin’s Relationship with Audrey

Austin’s relationship with a younger girlfriend, Audrey, is scrutinized throughout the episode. Ben remarks, “I'm so angry that my three layers of bronzer are about to fall off” (35:31), highlighting Austin’s over-the-top reactions. Ronnie criticizes Austin’s parental pressures and his entitlement, emphasizing the awkward dynamics this relationship introduces.

**7. Sally’s Party and Vanita’s Incident

A critical moment in the episode is Sally’s party, where Vanita nearly drowns. Ronnie describes the scene with mock enthusiasm: “They jump in the pool” (69:11), followed by Ben’s bewilderment, “How is this not a bigger part of the scene?” (70:04). The hosts use this incident to comment on the show's inconsistent focus and lack of tease for pivotal moments, reflecting on how such events should be more impactful.

**8. Craig’s Heroics and Credibility

Craig’s attempt to play the hero by saving Vanita is met with skepticism by both Ben and Ronnie. Ben humorously suggests, “Just say pass, like you're on Family Feud” (71:28), criticizing Craig’s credibility and readiness to step into heroic roles without genuine backing. Ronnie adds, “You have a long standing history...” (67:14), questioning the authenticity of Craig’s actions and the cast's perception of him.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ronnie Karam: “How am I supposed to know what happened with the worm in the tree?” (07:10)

• Ben Mandelker: “I didn't know we messed something up last week, but whatever we did, I'm sorry.” (05:34)

• Ronnie Karam: “Craig is actively forcing JT off the show because now no one wants to shoot with him.” (14:17)

• Ben Mandelker: “This was her first time ever, I think, becoming the focal point of a show teaser.” (06:48)

• Ronnie Karam: “Madison's insane right now.” (14:17)

• Ben Mandelker: “I'm fixated on that hubbub.” (09:09)

• Ben Mandelker: “I'm so angry that my three layers of bronzer are about to fall off.” (35:31)

• Ronnie Karam: “Don’t forget to vote for your crappies and get tickets for the crappies.” (74:31)

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Insights and Conclusions

Ben and Ronnie provide a candid and often hilarious analysis of the episode, balancing their affection for the Bravo shows with sharp critiques of the characters’ decisions and the show's narrative choices. They highlight inconsistencies in storytelling, character development issues, and the sometimes gratuitous nature of reality TV drama.

One recurring theme is the tension between personal growth and maintaining friendships amidst the pressures of a reality TV environment. The hosts emphasize how relationships within the show are strained by misunderstandings, betrayals, and the overarching influence of the camera.

Additionally, the duo points out the often superficial resolutions to serious conflicts, such as Craig's dubious heroics, which they argue undermine the authenticity of the show's drama.

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Conclusion

Episode #2694 of "Watch What Crappens" offers listeners a comprehensive and entertaining breakdown of Southern Charm Season 10, Episode 6. Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam successfully blend humor with insightful commentary, making the episode a must-listen for fans looking to relive the drama or newcomers seeking an engaging entry point into the nuances of Bravo’s "Southern Charm." Their ability to highlight key moments, coupled with relatable humor and sharp critiques, ensures that listeners are both informed and entertained.

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Support "Watch What Crappens":
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Note: The above summary captures the essence of the podcast episode based on the provided transcript, focusing on key discussions, character analyses, and notable quotes while omitting advertisements and non-content segments.

Transcript

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[Ben]

Watch what happens. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

[Ronald]

Hell. Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Yield Bravs. I'm Rondall. That's Ben over there. Hello, Bean, how are you?

[Ben]

Hi, how are you? I'm great, thanks. How are you doing?

[Ronald]

I'm doing great, everybody. Hope you're well over there. Hope everybody's safe and content. We are about to go on tour. We start a week from today. We will be in San Francisco and San Diego. We will be recapping live at the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City reunion part one in both cities, actually, we're going to do half one night and half the other because you know our asses are going to keep talking for at least two and a half hours on that sucker. So we're going to be splitting cities, doing both there. So we all get to enjoy Real Housewives of Salt Lake City together as the season is almost done. So join us there. Salt Lake City followed by San Diego in one week from today. And then guess what, the next week we're in New York City to do the Golden Crappie Awards. It's our yearly awards show. This year is going to be bigger than ever. We're on Broadway at the Town Hall Theater. We've got so much musical talent coming, so many Bravo talent and Bravo related talent coming. It's going to be a blast. Get your tickets the same. Watch what crappens.com then the following week we will be in Salt Lake City, the town itself and Denver the following night. So a lot going on there. Get your tickets. Watch what crappens.com Also go to patreon.com if you want us on video, which we're on right now. I'm in brown, Ben's in green. We're just folly and go over there and you'll get all the videos and bonus episodes which right now are Traders recaps. Great show. We're loving that. So join us for that. And you can also vote. Nope. Yes, you can also vote for your crappy awards favorites over just. You can find the link on Instagram and you can vote Round two.

[Ben]

Round two just started today in fact.

[Ronald]

Yeah, round two's up. So go vote for that. You can find the link. Guess where our website. So here we are with Southern characters. Couple of. Couple of things. I know I haven't shut up yet, Ben, but a Couple of things we have to address. One thing is last week Craig said Austin shows up to work all zannied out and I can't work with him anymore. And people are like, how could you guys, of all people not mention that Austin is zannied out at work? Is anybody surprised? I mean, it just seems. I guess I say that so much. I guess I call out the druggies so much on the show that I don't see it worth calling out. But yeah, he did say that. Sorry we missed it. So that was a big one. What's the other one? Ben?

[Ben]

I didn't know we messed something up last week, but whatever we did, I'm sorry.

[Ronald]

Yeah, not major apologies, but, you know, just some corrections. Also. It's really hard. I've been really rooting for this show. Today is rough for me because they committed one of the biggest shows this crime can commit and they did not give me a scene of Vanita in her garden. How am I supposed to know what happened with the worm in the tree?

[Ben]

Yeah, but like, after weeks of us saying that, all we get with Vanita is her just doing something outside with Charles this. This week, they're like, you know what? You. You want us to do something with Vanita, fine. How about we almost kill her? It's like out of nowhere they do that instead. They really up the venita stakes. But it was. But in true Vanita form, it was like the whole thing lasted about as long as Charles and Vanita in the backyard scene. But I do have to say I've got to give Vanita credit. It was her first time ever, I think, becoming the focal point of a in show teaser. So congratulations, Vanita. At least it was the first time this season.

[Ronald]

Well, there was that. Yeah, this season. Yeah, because there was that one where she fought with Madison at the end of the season.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah, party. But this time she's Catherine.

[Ronald]

This is the first time she's really made a splash on the show, so good for her. But you can't start a storyline like the worm in the tree and then not tell me what happened. So, yeah, like, seriously, fuck off.

[Ben]

Yeah, so previously, my alpha husband has a kidney, has a tumor, has a beta tumor on his kidney. So that's. That's fucking bullshit.

[Ronald]

I'll tell you what, that. That stupid tumor is such a beta. It'll probably go have to have coffee with JT sometime in this epis.

[Ben]

Taylor also wasn't in the mood to celebrate because she's a beta too. And then we see Craig in His backyard. And Sally spilled some papa Nazi because I don't know if she's a beta yet. I think she's pretty much alpha, so that's okay. We're like that. We like her. I. Tea.

[Ronald]

Yes. So let's see. Let's swing this game. Don't you know is our lyric to start. And we. We see really exciting things happening around Charleston. Sally's giving her dog shot of medicine in the mouth, and that's cute. And then the dog's like, wait a minute. I think that we both dated. I think we've both been adopted by Andrew at different points. So I just want to get that, make sure that we're okay.

[Ben]

And then there's a guy over at Patricia's house spraying the chandelier. And she's like, I don't know who you are, but you're doing a great job doing the thing that my son is too dumb to do on his own. Congratulations, person.

[Ronald]

He's like, well, should I spray this one over here? No, that's Randy. I just keep him plugged into the electrical outlet in case he ever needs to be taught less. And watch this. Turn on that switch. Aj, isn't that great? Dust him off. Dust him off.

[Ben]

And now Taylor walks her dog, talks to her dog in the bed. And she's like, okay, Penny, today's mantra is long before we tune into our hubbub. Wait, what is hubbub? I'm fixated on that hubbub. To be fair, it's just not a word I would associate ever with Taylor.

[Ronald]

Or mantras. Long before we tune into our hubbub. What the fuck kind of mantra book is this? Get rid of that mantra book. It explains a lot about your life, actually. And I like that she has to look up hubbub. But then she's trying to expand her chef English later in, fails miserably.

[Ben]

Hubub. It's a word. It means commotion and talk. Etc. Did JT write that mantra? Because that sounds like a JT mantra. You know, long before we tune into our hubub, you gotta call poppy seed on FaceTime. And look at that sweet dog.

[Ronald]

So speaking of, JT is walking up to a bar very slowly with his hands behind his back, doing his. He's always acting like an extra in some old timey play, you know, he's like Death of a Salesman just walking up, just like. I remember these streets. Just go to the restaurant, dude.

[Ben]

He gets two red eyes, or I forget, what's a red eye again? Is that like cold brew with like, a Shot of espresso in it or something?

[Ronald]

Yeah, I think so. I think I'm.

[Ben]

I want one.

[Ronald]

It's like literally every man on this cast, red eyes. So he's also bought Craig a banana that he places right at right in his place. So Craig will know that there's a banana waiting for him. You know, he's just a gentleman. Good old southern gentlemen.

[Ben]

Yeah, they both actually have a banana. Like they. There's like a banana for. It's kind of like Chekhov's banana. It's like if, you know, if you see that banana, it's gonna get eaten on camera.

[Ronald]

You know, that banana's gonna go off.

[Ben]

I was kind of expecting Craig to have a reaction to, you know, all those tick tock videos of cats reacting to bananas and cucumbers. You've seen those. Where apparently, like, cucumbers are very threatening to cats because, like, you just put one on the floor and a cat walks up to it and just like jumps back in fear because it thinks it's some sort of animal. So I'm just imag Craig be like, whoa. And just flinging himself across the coffee shop.

[Ronald]

No, but Craig doesn't. He sits down and just eats the banana. Like, he's used to bananas just being laid out for him all the time. You know, it's banana privilege.

[Ben]

Truly. He doesn't even realize that. He just thinks that's like part of, like, what this cafe is. It's like a bread basket. Just get a banana.

[Ronald]

They just gave me a banana. So they fist bump and Craig's like, wow. I lived on that sixth floor of that building right there. They've. They've got a golf fraternity on the fourth floor.

[Ben]

You've got to be kidding me. I can't imagine going to school here. I wouldn't have graduated. I love it. Are you implying that I did graduate? Because I never graduated.

[Ronald]

I still tell Paige I would go back to college in a heartbeat. We know.

[Ben]

We know, unfortunately, that college is not nyu, so I would have to go there.

[Ronald]

But thankfully I live in Charleston where you can date 24 year olds the rest of your life.

[Ben]

I want a major in pillow sciences. So JT tells us. I am so furious. If there was an infrared camera, you would see the heat and smoke coming off of my eyes and my head. Not just from the coffee cup in front of me, from all my body and my soul. Okay, what I'm trying to say is I've got a lot of heat in here, and if you think it's from my red eye that's really frustrating because of my heat's coming from here. And, like, I. I just don't want you to think it's only coming from my drink. See what I'm saying. To see what the. What I'm trying to do with this joke is be like, I'm referencing the fact that I've got a coffee drink in front of me, but I'm also popping hot mad. Is anyone following this?

[Ronald]

I got to be honest with you. People in our friend group are saying that I referred to the lovely Miss Patricia as a B word. And then we see a clip of Madison going, you call her A. You're the.

[Ben]

Well, you said that she didn't take her cane, and that's something. When she didn't take her cane, that she was A. At the horse race.

[Ronald]

Is it possible that maybe that was misheard? And then we see a clip of him not saying that ever. And then another clip of audio not found. And Craig's like, well, I don't think that your intent was to say she in general is A. But in that moment, she was a. Because you tried to hand her a cane and the didn't take it. Wait.

[Ben]

Yeah, I'm not trying to gaslight you about how you're gaslighting me, but what you think. But, like, what you like. Unless you see the words leaving these lips. You just said it right now. I mean, what do you want me to do, bro? I literally did not say the word. You just said it four times right now.

[Ronald]

Called her a stupid. So.

[Ben]

Wow, you really are full of rage today. I literally am just. I gave you a banana. Wow. Wow.

[Ronald]

I don't say P, V, B, or B. Well, I just said banana. Okay, take that one off. Can we shoot that again?

[Ben]

But you literally just said the P word, the B word, and the J word. I was ordering a PB and J. Craig.

[Ronald]

Yeah. So Craig's like, I stand by it 100. Because, like, I remember I heard it. And then I was like, oh, you're so stupid. And, yeah, I don't believe Craig. I just don't. And that's really sad because JT Is also a little. But Craig is just lying on this period.

[Ben]

Craig is like, Craig is not only. He's lying. And, you know, we often talk about people getting, you know, forced out of shows. I mean, we just had a whole discussion, like, two weeks ago about, you know, oh, the cast is pushing Craig off the show, but Craig is actively forced. He's pushing JT off the show because now no one wants to Shoot with him, because they all think that JT called Patricia a. And that is like, you do not do that. And so now no one is even touching this guy. And he's like, listen, we don't need to beef about. About this, because it's crazy. We've covered enough. It's like, yeah. And I'm happy you text me, though, because we were kind of. Kind of in limbo, you know? And now that I hate Austin, it's really good, because now I can talk to you again and make him mad.

[Ronald]

Well, it's funny that you bring up limbo, because it's the one dance game I can win, so. I appreciate that. I appreciate that, Craig. You know, listen, let's just make up. And so Craig's like, maybe we can go golfing one day with Shep and possibly those hot guys in the golf fraternity. They're so badass. They're badass guys. He's like, we've got a lot of fun to have. But JT's like, the lies, the gossip, the slander. I shall get my revenge.

[Ben]

So now Molly's walking her dog, and she's walking down the street by that one park, and the dog is, like, crazy and jumping on like a lady, and she's like, sorry. He's, like, excitable. He, like, unless I'm playing my miniature tuba, he is out of control.

[Ronald]

And that's the only thing that calms him down. At least he didn't tell you not to eat a muffin in front of his mother. Am I right? Sorry. Brutal.

[Ben]

Oh, is. Oh, that's right. His name is Turtle again. That's my. That's like one of those weird things when people name animals after other animals. A dog named Turtle. A dog. Like, when people name their dog Bear, it's like. Or a dog named Bunny. Like, it's just very funny to me. Why would you do that?

[Ronald]

Weird turtle. So I started reading Lonesome Dove, you know, this western series, Larry McMurtry for you, weird for me. But, you know, I don't read a lot of westerns. I watch a lot of westerns. And I just watched this one on Netflix called American Primeval. And so I was like, I want some more westerns. I'll read this famous western. And it opens with these guys that are waiting to be attacked, these cowboys. And they're gathered around the fire, and they've brought a. Along with them a whore named Maddie. And which is funny because we're friends with the hornet, Maddie. And they're like, yeah, this. They're with this whore named Maddie. And the first way they describe her is, Maddie is this chunky who comes out of the river after just caught catching a snapping turtle by the tail.

[Ben]

Wow, Maddie, she is. What a slut.

[Ronald]

And then I turn on Southern charm, and this dog's name is Turtle. And I was like, I think I'm on the right path in life. You know, turtles.

[Ben]

Kimberly would be so proud of you.

[Ronald]

They're everything.

[Ben]

I remember my mom reading that book because I remember the miniseries in the late 80s was, like, such a thing. And then my mom read the book, and my mom loved that book. You do not know how much my mom loved Lonesome Dove. And I think I tried to read it, but I was also, like, 12, and I think I read the first chapter and I stopped, but supposed to be great. I'm excited for you.

[Ronald]

Oh, thanks.

[Ben]

So random that you're reading Lonesome Dove.

[Ronald]

I know. So and so random. It's even more random that I brought that up in the Southern charm recap. But here we are. Okay. Horse with turtles. That's with the turtle. And this little Molly. Non with the turtle. Okay, you know what?

[Ben]

I recently read Richard iii, so.

[Ronald]

Oh, no, don't worry. Today moves on to Tchaikovsky, which is great.

[Ben]

I know. So in just a few moments, in.

[Ronald]

Fact, I love this dog is going crazy. And Molly goes, he's adopted. Jeez, leave the dog alone. Poor Turtle. So then the honks come, and it's Chef. Shep pulls up, and he's like, watch up. I just happen to be in the neighborhood. Sorry. That's how they said in Shakespeare times. Of course, Garcia.

[Ben]

Sorry. I was speeding by so quickly. I got caught up listening to Gustavo Dudamel lead the La Phil in a rendition of one of Tchaikovsky's grand masterpieces.

[Ronald]

So she's like, what's up? I took this dog from the shelter today. Well, I'm. I guess I've got room for two useless mutts, you know, with fleas. Come on, let's have a situation. It. She's like, okay, I'll park my car. So they talk by the fountain. And she's like, I was little. When I was little, I went into these fountains. Turtle.

[Ben]

Turtles. Like, of all the people in Entourage, this is who you have to name me after. So Chef is like, no kidding.

[Ronald]

You're not only named after an animal that's very slow. You're named after the character from Entourage. I know. Poor Turtle.

[Ben]

Poor Turtle. But Turtle got his revenge because Turtle is the one who founded Fat Sal's. So you know what he's doing?

[Ronald]

Did he?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronald]

Fat Salsa's Turtles.

[Ben]

I will double check right now. Fat.

[Ronald]

I'll believe it. No, even if you correct it, I'm gonna believe it for the rest of my.

[Ben]

Yes. The brainchild of actor Jerry Ferrara.

[Ronald]

Well, that makes sense. It's like a. A chicken sandwich with fries on top of it and chili con queso into steak. Like, why. But why? Like a turtle. That's why. Turtle.

[Ben]

Anyway, so they. They. They sit together. They sit down on a bench together to talk.

[Ronald]

You know what's even crazier? I'm sorry, we're never getting through this recap. But the. What's even crazier about that is. Do you remember on Vanderpump Rules, they used to go to Fat cells, and Lala would go there with James. That's where they got into a fight about the pasta. I think about this.

[Ben]

I don't think that was at Fat Cells.

[Ronald]

Well, they went to some. They went to some iconic scene at Fat Cells. I remember it. And was with Lala and James and some others. And the rumor was that Lala's gross, disgusting Harvey Weinstein. B. Roll footage of Harmony. Harvey Weinstein. Whatever. That guy Randall was. That turtle was based on Randall. Do you remember that?

[Ben]

Right, right, right.

[Ronald]

I wonder if. I wonder if Randall was like, you guys should shoot at Fat Sals, because that shows based on. I kind of opened that because the guy who was based on me opened it.

[Ben]

It. Right.

[Ronald]

Okay. I don't need to keep talking. Go ahead, Ben, take it away. Do the. Do the rest of the recap. I'm done.

[Ben]

I. No, I was. I got distracted because while you were.

[Ronald]

Telling that story, I can't imagine why.

[Ben]

I. I opened up. So I have. I. I got, like, a Mac Mini. A little Mac Mini. And I. So I. I just, like, set it up, like, two nights ago. And so I just opened up, like, my. My itunes because I want to see Tchaikovsky tracks that I might have. And, like, I hadn't opened up itunes yet. And so nothing had populated from the cloud. And there was only four things in my itunes. Two digital booklets from Girly Rae Jepsen, one digital booklet from Dave Matthews, and the last thing was digital bookmark book book from that fucking U2 album that they forced on him. I was like, here we are in 2025, and that YouTube album is continuing to haunt me and probably everyone else. That is the worst thing that Apple has ever done, is infect us all without you. That shitty, shitty YouTube album. Even now, it still comes back to haunt us. Sorry, it has nothing to do with the show. I just had to mention that because I feel like everyone has been there. Everyone's had that moment where they're like, why is this YouTube album still here? How many times do I have to delete it?

[Ronald]

Never take a free Starbucks download. They never leave your itunes.

[Ben]

Never.

[Ronald]

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[Ronald]

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[Ronald]

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[Ronald]

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[Ben]

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[Ronald]

You know, Acorns makes it so easy and in the new year, that's what I need.

[Ben]

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[Ronald]

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[Ronald]

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[Ronald]

View important [e-mail] crappens okay, so they sit by the fountain and talk, and Shep's like, wow, what a fine day. What a midsummer night's dream. So I saw you and I was like, wow, who's that, babe? Yeah, that probably happens all the time with you, huh? She's like, not anymore. Because we're getting up there. I'm just disgusting now.

[Ben]

Yeah, I'm like, you know, I'm like 10 pounds overweight, and also, I'm over the age of 30, so I'm basically just like a monster in Charleston. They won't even. No one will touch me.

[Ronald]

Yeah. And he's like, you need to give yourself more of what Most of this cast can't get credit. And Molly's like, men are just simple creatures. Like, I could be hideous and still get laid, let's be honest. But Charleston's full of Peter Pan men that suck at life, so who cares?

[Ben]

Cut back to ship. Hey, so what's up? Or Tchaikovsky might say, what if is up? If so. Well, it's like. She's like, yeah, I've got to practice. I played the miniature tuba, and I have to. I have a. I have to play. I have a concert on May 4th. I will be doing an all miniature tuba version of the Star wars theme song.

[Ronald]

I love music in all of its forms. Gosh, you know what? I even like? I even like the dog singing Grandma got run over by a reindeer. That's a good one. Hey, to prove what I'm saying about not music knowledge, here's a musician. I like Chai Chaikovsk. Tchaikovsky. She's like, yeah, that's. That's a name in music. Yeah, I love that nutcracker. Yep, that's. That's the nutcracker.

[Ben]

What a good song.

[Ronald]

And she's like, yeah, but like, shop. Like, just look at shop. He's intelligent. He's open minded. He almost said Tchaikovsky. Right? And overall, I think he's definitely, like, up there for me, at least.

[Ben]

Question, have you ever played Grandma gets Got run over by a reindeer on your small tuba, Shep? Of course I have.

[Ronald]

Go on the road.

[Ben]

Garshan Tuba. Do the hits. She's like, I actually would be open to that.

[Ronald]

So he's like, have you met Sienna? Yeah, things are good. She's a beauty queen, you know, and things have almost, like, accelerated in the past three weeks because she came here. I said, can I go there? She said, no. You know, really running towards the finish line there. And Molly's like, I mean, totally. He could be her dad. But it's Charleston, so.

[Ben]

I'm gonna, you know, like, you know, so like Southern guys, like some young girl who's not going to question things. But I'm always going to question things. I'm like, where? What were you doing? Who are you talking to? Where's my tiny tuba? Where did you pawn it? What's going on? I've got to do Tchaikovsky on May 4th.

[Ronald]

So he goes, she might come this week. And Molly just goes.

[Ben]

Molly's like, you know what's great about my hobby? I can literally give my own musical cues. She's like, hold on. Bravo. I got this one.

[Ronald]

No. So then we go to Madison's house, and Madison is sitting with her personality blocker, Brett, and they're making breakfast and stuff and talking about his doctor's appointments. And he's still not as forthcoming as she likes, you know, so she's like, well, I guess I just have to deal with it. I'm just, like, breathing at it for coffee. Straw. Oh, gosh. Have you ever heard Austin after he's walked up one flight of stairs? Sounds like that. Except not through the math and not chewed up Triscuits flying out of the camera. Okay, never mind. It's not really anything like a Austin.

[Ben]

Molly, are you outside? Yes.

[Ronald]

Fat on yourself. You Beta.

[Ben]

You literally have a Beta tuba. Get a real tuba for once.

[Ronald]

She does too, because she plays a miniature tuba.

[Ben]

Miniature.

[Ronald]

That's a Beta tube if I ever seen one.

[Ben]

What was it called again? A Viba.

[Ronald]

Does it only make music for jt? Tiny things. Entertaining Tiny things.

[Ben]

What's it called? A vote? Sort of. It was a.

[Ronald]

The V. A V. What's a Vulvathone or something? I think she called it a miniature, too.

[Ben]

Euphonium. Was it euphonium?

[Ronald]

I know that sounds like a disease. That sounds like a jaw disease.

[Ben]

I think it was euphonium.

[Ronald]

So, yeah, Brett's there. So then we go to Taylor. Taylor going to Rodrigo and Tyler's house. Taylor and Tyler coming up. So Tyler's like, oh, my God, you look tan everywhere. Except right here where your bikini was.

[Ben]

I'm so glad you came over. I've decided to workshop a center part, but I only wanted to with the front part of my hair. So what do you think? She's like, it looks good. I'm making chicken parm. And she's like, wow, okay. He's like, yeah. By the way, is Instagram on? This is, like, my first cooking show. And Rodrigo's like, yeah. Wow. Bear for contest over here.

[Ronald]

I love Taylor. She's a good friend to me and Tyler, and I know she's been overwhelmed with emotion, but she needs to be ready to go to battle with some of these. And Tyler's like, I have a blade in birthday gift for you. Oh, my gosh, y'all.

[Ben]

Oh.

[Ronald]

Oh, no. This is for Taylor. Sorry, Tyler. Like, I have a belated birthday gift for you. It's like, oh, my gosh, y'all. I love her. It's a painting of. I don't know, are these ships? Dirty, crusty socks that are left all over the floor in the morning? It's modern art, Taylor.

[Ben]

Okay. It's my. It's from my friend Julia Deckman. She did the art. Oh, cool. An original deck. Man, I'm still so nice that you got me a painting from the lady who owns the coffee shop down the street.

[Ronald]

Was that lady who slept with Thomas Robin all that time busy or.

[Ben]

So Taylor's like, I've never been a big celebrator of my birthday, but my mom came into town, and I felt like a shell of a human afterwards, and I felt a huge hole missing, and I didn't want to be around anyone but Gaston. So here I am having some chicken parm that's not even made by nanny.

[Ronald]

I know. I thought it was interesting that Tyler brings up chicken parm the same week that Joe's. Joe's favorite recipe, chicken parm. After he's been kind of outed for gay rumors or something. I was like, interesting. This is just leading evidence.

[Ben]

Are you implying that Tyler had a gay affair with Joe? And.

[Ronald]

Yeah, chicken parm.

[Ben]

Let's not all forget that Joe Bradley, on Southern hospitality, made Nanny's chicken parm for Sally. And I think that when he made it for Sally, is that when he found out about Gaston or something like that?

[Ronald]

He found out that Sally had made out with Gas Gaston, or as Madison calls him, Gaston earlier in the day. And Joe was so disgusted that he refused to feed Sally any more Nana's chicken.

[Ben]

And then. Oh, you're right. Is it Nana was Nanny Lisa Vanderpump? Because there was Nanny K. I think.

[Ronald]

Nanny K is Vanderpump, and I think Nana was his Nana's chicken parm.

[Ben]

Either way, it's all intermixed between, like, Gaston and The chicken parm. Whenever the chicken parm shows up, it's like a sign. Yeah, it means that there's infidelity afoot.

[Ronald]

Yes, for sure. Because chicken parm, that is also. That is Sally's ex. And now Tyler is another about to fight about people that they both slept with. Oh, my God. It's too confusing, this show. It's like milk toast, but also confusing. Milk toast. So Rod's like, well, after that, after you canceled your party. Well, they asked her why she canceled. Yeah, you already did that part. So he's like, well, after you canceled your party, we went to the other empty shell of a human brain beings house, Craig's, and it was good. But at one point, we were eating, and Madison tells me that Sally had said some stuff. And we see the clip of Sally saying, yeah, guest, don't tell me to keep my mouth shut.

[Ben]

Like, no, she called him. You can't just take this girl's girl's word as Bible, because she seems like Goldilocks with her eyelashes going up and down. Taylor, have you seen yourself in the mirror?

[Ronald]

Yeah, hi. Similar model. So Taylor's like, so, wait, why are you talking about my boyfriend that hasn't been with you for, like, a year?

[Ben]

Yeah, that's just weird. And Rodrigo's like, it sounded like Gaston didn't want you to go, so I just want to make sure it was you who didn't want to go. And she's like, gaston is the one that's like. Like, you need to stand up for yourself. And Rodrigo's like, oh, good, good. Because Sally didn't reach. Didn't reach out to invite you. Right? Did she? Or did she reach out to invite you to her housewarming?

[Ronald]

To the housewarming? Yeah. She was like, yeah, you want to come? But then I'm like, it's so awkward because, like, we've never talked on the. We've never even talked on the phone before.

[Ben]

So then we see a flashback of this phone call happening, and Taylor's like, Like, it's just weird being invited someone who doesn't have nice things to say about my person. And it's just. It's some, like. It's just. Is it just some, like, innuendo as to why she's trying to lure me into her home? Like, let's go back to hubbub. Let's go back to hubbub before we start trying to use innuendo.

[Ronald]

Okay, Please walk away from Chef's word a day calendar. Okay.

[Ben]

Was that the one you were talking about?

[Ronald]

Yes.

[Ben]

It was very Austin, because Austin tries to do that too. Tries to use big words.

[Ronald]

Shep does it too. I feel like Shep has, like, pieces of knowledge from different books and stuff to make himself sound smart, but he doesn't really ever know what he's saying, you know?

[Ben]

Well, you know, as I always say, Vasa shared, so. Which of course, is one of Tchaikovsky's famous pieces.

[Ronald]

Are you gonna go? You should, because you can be on her turf and then, like, set it straight. Let's do it. So then Austin is driving with his, you know, 20, his young girlfriend, basically, Audrey. And I thought it was so funny because Molly's just said that. Yeah, guys in the south just want some quiet girl who's gonna let him do whatever he wants. And then here we are with Austin and Audrey, and he's like, how does my hair look? However you want me to tell you, it looks great. It's not. It doesn't look bad because it's not doing what he used to do. Stay in.

[Ben]

Yeah. That Audrey has what I call Sabrina carpenteritis, which is when you think her voice is. Her talking voice is gonna be one way, but it's actually deeper and huskier than you would expect. So she's like, hey, yeah, I'm Audrey. I'm like, wait, what? You have a husky voice, Audrey. That doesn't make sense to me at all. Much like Sabrina Carpenter.

[Ronald]

And she's also got kind of got Sabrina Carpenter eyebrows, actually. Is it Sabrina Carpenter? My God.

[Ben]

Like, guys, I'm really pushing for this Grammy. I will appear on any show.

[Ronald]

So he's like, yeah, how's my hair look? She's like, better than yesterday. And he's like, are we nervous about meeting the parents?

[Ben]

Yeah, it's just like nerve wracking, you know? He's like, it's okay. Like, just let Audrey be the perfect little pukes that she is. That's just be the perfect little PS Be all that you can be.

[Ronald]

A big word I've been working on with my therapist is Internet intentionality, or the act of being intentional. It's like, ding. And they just, like, cross out the word on the screen.

[Ben]

Interstitial, initial, initial, initial, eviscerate, yogurt.

[Ronald]

Ding. Ding.

[Ben]

Intentional.

[Ronald]

Yeah. I've been waiting four months to bring home Audrey because I want to be intentional in introducing her to my parents intentionally.

[Ben]

Ding.

[Ronald]

Damn it.

[Ben]

I don't. Here's what. I don't want to bring home some woman I don't, like, get my parents hopes up, and then they just. And Then they don't like her. I'm like, listen, Austin, your parents, they, they've, they've lost hope a long time ago. They, every time they see you, they're like, yeah, they're not getting their hopes up high when you walk in that door.

[Ronald]

Well, I think that whoever he brings home, the parents, just look at them like a life raft, like, oh my God, thank God you're here. Get in here, get in here. How are your ovaries? How are they? Please just do what you can with them, please. I'll pay you.

[Ben]

Just humor the trop hop thing. Don't worry, we'll fund the laughs down. Just marry him. Marry the man today. So then we see a flashback of Chelsea and Austin's like, hey, everyone, this is Chelsea. She's like hanging. Your son's a like, oh, okay.

[Ronald]

H. I'm Chelsea. I like hunting, bunting and fishing. Wouldn't the third rhyme with the other two, dear? Shut up, woman.

[Ben]

Listen, I want to go hunting. I want to kill something and also I'll do your highlights. I'm Chelsea.

[Ronald]

I love Chelsea. I miss her.

[Ben]

Yeah, where is she? I think she got married.

[Ronald]

Got a real life. She went and married like a race car driver or something. She's out of here.

[Ben]

Maybe she'll go back to Survivor someday. Well, anyway, Austin is like, well then you'll meet my. So they arrive at his parents new house which is big and gorgeous. And I, by the way, I love Austin's parents every time. First of all, they are so fun and waspy. They are just, they are ready for cocktails and they are just ready. They're every single time. I'd lied every. I said that they have no hope. They have hope every single day that this is the day that Austin decides to do something with his life. And they just are always like, do you get a job, Austin? He's like, no. Okay, well, back to the cocktails.

[Ronald]

Got a girl with you, so. And I like that they're just so openly drunk now. The dad's just like, well, it's, you know, every day is a weekend buddy. And the favorite thing about them is the mom. To me, I love Wendy and I love just the look she has on her face at all times. It's like this, I'm sorry, this is only for videos for people. But it's just always so. She's always like, like she's so over it. Her eyes are always half closed and she's like this, you know, I love her.

[Ben]

I feel like if we went over to their House. She would put out, like, a little bowl of olives, and she'd have some nice, like, really nice crackers. And then she would sit back in a couch with a drink, and she would talk with, like, maybe a cracker in her mouth. But, like, say something. Well, you know, the weather. The weather is absolutely terrible. Can I fill you back up again? And you would just talk about the weather all day long, and it would be great.

[Ronald]

So they give hugs, and the mom is preparing this girl to enter into this family. Okay, what would you like, honey? Apparel spritz, Gin and tonic, vodka tonic, Tequila, soda. I don't know. Scotch. Scotch and whiskey. Just mix them both together.

[Ben]

You're gonna need something strong to deal with, my son.

[Ronald]

Please don't say this. You're d. Please don't say you're dating Austin without a crutch.

[Ben]

He's like, every day is a weekend bubba. So he's like. Austin's like, it's so nice. Isn't this nice, dad? It's like, you know what's also nice? A career. Someday you'll find out.

[Ronald]

And he's doing that thing where he's just hugging her really hard from behind, like, just, like, being way too showy. And he. He tells us, let's be honest. In the past, I was addicted to the drama. And we see clips of Chelsea again. When you're with me and you sit in another girl's lap, you make me look like a idiot.

[Ben]

You know, it hasn't been sexual since we broke up. And then Victoria, a big Victoria throwback is her saying so her sneaking around the hall isn't sexual. And then, of course, we get the clip. Madison. Madison's insane right now.

[Ronald]

Wiener grab. Wiener grab. Wiener, wiener. Wiener grab. I don't even remember this Victoria girl.

[Ben]

She was. She was like a single season. She was. She was right before Madison. Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

[Ronald]

Wow. So then back, we're back to the scene, and Austin's like, audrey has to go. She's like, so flows of glow with the flow. She's so flow with the go. She's so good with the flow. I mean, I haven't really given her a reason to be entrusting. Right. Like, I've been so open. I've been transparent, and, you know, like, shocker. That's what it takes for a relationship to. Where it. What takes a relationship to work is for a girl to not live in the same town as you and not have to deal with your every day. So you can still go do whatever the You Want without being called out. What? Do you also cut it out with this therapy talk? I don't believe you for two seconds. You go to that therapy for five minutes every time you're shooting.

[Ben]

Also, like, anyone who's dating Austin is forced to be good with the flow because the amount of saliva that is flowing out of that mouth at any given moment, like, if you're. You're either going with it or you're.

[Ronald]

Leaving it, but they're, like, flowing downstream, you know, With Austin.

[Ben]

Yeah. So Wendy's like, so, Audrey, how do you like coming to Charleston? Do you need to. It's. It's. It's soul sucking, right? And she's like, no, I love it. You know, three hours isn't long at all. Isn't long at all.

[Ronald]

Well, Audrey, you've been coming here a lot, huh? You seem to have a nice relationship. Look at you two, just so happy. I mean, this is perfect. So places. Wedding. All right, Say your own vows. I love you. I love you, too. Great. Inseminator. Do it. Just do it.

[Ben]

You know, there was a time when I was dating because I. I'm like, I'm having fun with, like, no thought of a relationship. And guess what? That time is still happening. It's so cool.

[Ronald]

Can I just tell you how many times my friends have said, do you have grandkids yet? Why would your son Xerox himself onto another woman? And I have to say, don't worry. It hasn't happened yet.

[Ben]

Well, she wants four. It's insane. She's.

[Ronald]

Oh, four.

[Ben]

Wow. Four for my son. I'm gonna have to have some more cocktails just so I can start seeing quadruple myself.

[Ronald]

Well, mom just perked up, and Audrey's like, yeah, I just want a big family.

[Ben]

And the dad's like, I love it. She's like, one step in his eye.

[Ronald]

So then this is too much for me. And I've barely dated Audrey. Like, I barely know her, but even for me, I'm like, audrey, you need to run. This is not normal. This is an old man clinging onto his trust fund. He's like, please do not cut me out. I'm trying, you guys. Look, I found a young one, okay? I found a young one. She won't mind if I cheat on her. Just please.

[Ben]

So then Madison calls. So he goes outside, and he's like, hey, what are you doing? We're at Seabrook, and Rodrigo's on the phone, too. And he's like, say we just heard from Craig. Craig. And that Craig and JT Went and had coffee together. Damn those Betas. Beta lunch, bit of coffee. Hate the booth.

[Ronald]

I just have to say what every girlfriend who's just brought to mom's house wants to hear. Madison's calling. Let me step outside and take that. Or you guys can't hear it. What an idiot. What? This girl. Why are you still with this man, Ma'am? So, yeah, basically, they're mad. Often, like, dude, once again, it's like, why is Craig doing this? Like, you know what? It's like, just to piss me off or something. That's crazy. My God. What if Craig. If Madison. Jesus insane right now.

[Ben]

Yeah, but last time I checked, last season, Austin, you. You hooked up with Taylor. So I think bro code is not really something that you can.

[Ronald]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Complain about.

[Ronald]

So Madison's like, mom with you. I'm with you on that one. And you're lucky I'm on your side. So deal with your friend. Okay, you guys want to kick somebody else off the show, but literally neither one of you are doing anything. And Madison, I get. Because her husband's going through whatever, and she has to, like, behave around him. Her husband, which is really a boner killer. But then you've got Rodrigo is like, I'm bringing it. I made chicken parm. So, like, you guys can't just kick off people. You don't have that. You don't. You don't get to do that when you're not doing anything else. You know what I mean?

[Ben]

Well, I think that.

[Ronald]

Take away my cookie, replace it with, like, a bagel or something, please.

[Ben]

I think Rodrigo is just there to enjoy watching the drama unfold. I don't think he gives two shits about anyone. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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[Ben]

So now we're at Sally's house, and she's prepping for her big party, and her mom is there, and she's like, looks good, Mom. Mom, I'm gonna get drunk. And her mom's like, oh, now don't do this. Her mom has, like, a real, like, mousy southern voice.

[Ronald]

What is with the moms on this show and that voice? Because the other one who had it was Olivia's mom, where she's like, honey, I just can't wait for you to go at me, the nice man.

[Ben]

I know. They all have that voice. Like, honey, I sh. Up in the jumper today to help your slammings.

[Ronald]

And she's so mean to her mom. She's like, finish cutting, Mom.

[Ben]

Guess what, mom, you could be replaced by a robot any moment. I know this because that's what I do for a living. So get to slicing. Okay, honey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll just cut more lemons.

[Ronald]

Just please.

[Ben]

Do you want limes too? I'll do limes as well.

[Ronald]

All right, mom, we're gonna have a lemon cutting competition. It's between you and the surgical robot. If you lose, he takes out your. Your brain. Go.

[Ben]

Okay, okay, okay. No pressure, no pressure. I could do this.

[Ronald]

I can do this.

[Ben]

I can do this. So Sally tells a story about how her rent went up, and then she was like, I want to buy a house. So she bought a house. That's basically the story. She just.

[Ronald]

It's a really long monologue, but, yeah, that's the gist. And she's like, I love hosting, Mom. And she. Yeah, you should have learned all about hosting during your cotillion years. You just love that so much, didn't you, honey?

[Ben]

Yeah, because you wanted us to learn proper manners. I guess we see how that turned out, right?

[Ronald]

So then she tells. She tells us another thing about her, and she says that when she was 22, she was engaged to a chunky guy with A blurred face. And they had a big house, and he wanted kids, and that's all she ever wanted. But then 25 days before the wedding. Wedding, she got a DM that he was cheating on her. So she canceled that wedding and moved to Charleston. And that's when single Sally came back full force. She does this kind of voice when she's in the doctor that's like, yeah. And then I did. I almost got married, but I canceled it when I found out he was cheating. But then in real life, she doesn't talk like that. Do you have any notice it's like some smoky thing she does with her voice.

[Ben]

I'd have to. I'm gonna have to observe it on the next episode. Yeah, so she starts bossing her mom around some more, and she says how her ex fiance had everything, you know, the houses and the cars. It's the standard thing of, like, now she has a house, so she knows that in any future relationship, she'll be okay. So now we go over to Paige, who's FaceTiming Craig. It's like, hey, chicken, you look really pretty. Shut up, Craig. I'm going to Pilates. I don't look pretty. We all know I'm at my, like, level six right now, and I could be a total 10.

[Ronald]

Well, I'm getting ready to go to Sally's party, and I think I'm gonna have a conversation with Austin about his podcast thing. So, look, Austin's gonna have trouble with that because he feels entitled to it. So could you just give me the lines again?

[Ben]

Okay, listen carefully. Okay? Pillows and beers is your side hustle. Sewing down south is your thing. The whole point of the podcast is to, like, put out good vibes and, like, laugh and talk about your best friend in the world. So if you can't do that, like, why is that even a question? I think you guys should just, like, sit down and dissolve the whole thing. And when I say dissolve the whole thing, dissolve the podcast, dissolve the friendship, dissolve his anything. Just get them out of our lives. Like, why would you not, like, why would you, like, not have a podcast, like, just called, like, I don't know, Craig and Friends? You know, it's like Fox and Friends, but, like, Craig and Friends instead. And the friends could be pillows and not me.

[Ronald]

Yeah, because then I could talk to, like, that ficus in the back that was really good. Or that tree that grows berries sometimes. I could be like, hey, how come you only grow berries sometimes?

[Ben]

Hey, Craig, just so you know, I'm putting my phone down right here. I'm just gonna be on the reformer. Just assume that everything I say is just. Huh? Yeah. Huh? Yeah, yeah.

[Ronald]

She's like, on a bike. What's a Reformer? A bike.

[Ben]

That's the pil. That's that.

[Ronald]

That, like, torture board, that rebrand. Craig. Okay? You have your own name. It's not pillows and beer. It's just pillows. Okay? He's like. And then when I. Then I can just, like, have enough confidence to, like, do it.

[Ben]

Craig, you never shut up. You can do a podcast on your own. Look at this phone call, for example. I have done, like, already 30 minutes on this reformer, and you haven't even noticed. Okay, you can do it on your. Yourself, by yourself.

[Ronald]

New energy, Craig. What are you holding on to exactly? He's like my wiener in one hand and a pillow in the other. Not literally. Craig. Oh.

[Ben]

I have a hard time breaking up with people. But, like, with Austin, maybe I was looking for an owl, and I didn't even realize it.

[Ronald]

You have to sit and think about what I want. What you want? Do you want to be his friend? No, I don't want to be his friend. Would you like even to be friends if you didn't have, like, this contractual obligation? No, I wouldn't even be here. Why am I talking to myself? God, this thing is hard. This thing is hard.

[Ben]

Yeah, like, those are, like, very real questions. Can you write this down so that way I can read it off my phone when I talk?

[Ronald]

Oh, my God. So then we go to Sally's party and Andrew Cubs and his man bun. And if anybody is wondering where they have seen this man before, this man was on Southern Hospitality, which I guess is just the new casting launch pad for this show. But he was the one that Grace Lily lost it when they were taking that trip on the mobile home. And Mia's like, your boyfriend. What? The guy that you're with was with my friend? And then they show Andrew in a man bun.

[Ben]

I don't even remember that.

[Ronald]

I don't remember either, but I saw it on a Bravo account today, and I'm sorry, I can't remember. Who was it? Bravo, maybe? Or like, bravo, I don't know.

[Ben]

Sorry.

[Ronald]

Wow. I don't remember who it was.

[Ben]

Wait, so he. I didn't even remember because I remember that Grace Lilly brought a guy to a baseball game.

[Ronald]

Remember when Mia was Grace Lilly in the clip, gracefully, he's like, yeah, and I'm dating this guy, and he's so hot. And then man told me that her friend was dating that guy, and I Was like, you, I can take care of myself. I'm Grace Lilly. And then they were showing this guy Andrew there.

[Ben]

Wow, that's wild. Yeah, they are really all up in each other's business. It's great. What a great show. But he has got. So that means he has hit three, right? So he hit Grace Lilly, Taylor and Sally.

[Ronald]

Yeah. So. And super trustworthy guy who's just there for you.

[Ben]

Yeah, it's gonna work out really well. So Sally says Andrew's like, not my usual type. And she's like, you know, I'm usually with a businessman, and he wants to communicate everything and talk so soft. And I love that my type is changing from someone who has their life together to someone with a man bun.

[Ronald]

And also, since when is your type usually a businessman? You've been with Shep and you've been with Gaston and you've been with Joey Marbles. So I don't know when that trend started, but it wasn't recently.

[Ben]

What sort of business are we talking about here?

[Ronald]

So Andrea's like, give me a kiss, baby. And so they kiss and she's like, are you gonna protect me to. From all the danger? And they go outside and there's like a guitarist playing. I feel so bad for the guitarist. Wants to be out there playing at a. At a weird backyard party.

[Ben]

Just by yourself, just playing like Almond Brothers, you know?

[Ronald]

So, lady, sweet lady, you were singing that song earlier.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah. I've been to Georgia and California and everywhere in between. I don't know, I don't remember the lyrics. I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece have sipped champagne A yacht.

[Ronald]

Yeah, there you go.

[Ben]

I moved like Arlo in Monte Carlo and showed him what I got. I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see I've been to trusting Now I never been to me or should I? All of a sudden we hear, hey, thanks, Molly, for the assist.

[Ronald]

Gor. Scar. Scars. Gosh. Gosh. Supposed to be a duet. Hey, you.

[Ben]

You with that euphonium in your hand. I know what you're thinking. That's love. That's life right there, that euphonium.

[Ronald]

So then Madison and Vanita show up with Leva. And Madison like, well, this is cute. You know, she's like, could be cuter. She knew what she was doing. And Vanita's like, yeah, the lawn is nice. They're like deciding whether they like this girl or not. They're not into full on compliments yet.

[Ben]

Yeah, Sally's like, yeah, I want to change the pools. I don't like the tiles and everything. Hey, get a drink. You're probably like, where's the bartender? And Vanita is like, this setup is cute, but you're making me the bartender. Like, why am I making my own drink? Oh, suddenly. Suddenly.

[Ronald]

Okay, whoa, whoa.

[Ben]

So. So we can't have a those. We can't pour our own drinks at a house party anymore. Yeah.

[Ronald]

Okay, so Shep comes and sees Andrew and goes right to him. And Andrew's like, oh, hey, man, I think we've crossed paths before. He goes, oh, my thank think so. Sally goes, yeah, we've all crossed paths twice actually.

[Ben]

And like, were you at the Tchaikovsky concert?

[Ronald]

Sally goes, and me being one of them. And Andre goes, yeah. And also Taylor. Sorry. And she was like, really?

[Ben]

Whoa.

[Ronald]

That doesn't make me uncomfortable at all. I'm going to scratch my chest and tap my foot. Continue rhythm with the. With the guitar player Abba's heart hard.

[Ben]

So Taylor's. Taylor's dating decisions continue to confound me. No offense to anyone. You realize you're one of those dating decisions, by the way. Just wanna.

[Ronald]

Yeah. So then Austin shows up and Crag comes and so there's dramatic music and Whitney shows up with his Chucky wig. And Austin's like, wow, Craig, you look nice. How are you? Craig?

[Ben]

Wait, Sorry, just. I zoned out for a second.

[Ronald]

It's weird. He's just acting like things are totally normal. He didn't want to hang out, like, willingly. Like, God, he's hanging out with willingly with jt. Like, who's the one who's going to be the one to be the uppity little about this? You know, that's the game he's playing. Like, I'm good. You good? Yeah. No, I'm not good. You're right. You're out with a tiny person.

[Ben]

So then we have shopping. Like, oh, boy. A barbecue. Oh, I had that for lunch. Mac and cheese. My doctor said no green beans. I can have that. Yay.

[Ronald]

What is everybody being so weird about the food and service at this party. Shep doesn't even ever do anything. And Vanita, I think, had a tea party with the pizza. Give the woman a break, man.

[Ben]

Yeah, so now Whitney and Madison also sit down and Whitney's like, oh, so non mothers. What does Audrey think about medicine?

[Ronald]

Well, she thinks she's nice, actually. Oh, my gosh. She thinks she's not. She thinks I'm nice. Well, I was like, she's not. Okay. God, Damn it. I didn't bring my raincoat today. Austin. Jesus Christ. I didn't realize I was sitting in front of the Orca spittle show. Could you just keep your mouth closed for a second? Okay, the scene only needs to be five minutes. Minutes now. God.

[Ben]

You know, when we got here, that pool was actually empty, and now it's full. Hey. And Austin's like, by the way, did you see Craig? Like, Craig is here? And she's like, yeah, you know, I'm not gonna lie. When he walked in, I was like, you, man. But to be fair, I also say that to a lot of people when they walk in.

[Ronald]

I said it to the gardener last week. He hadn't even turned on the leaf blower yet. I say, you, you little baby.

[Ben]

It's how I walk into Sweet greens. Also, you, Beta.

[Ronald]

Now make me my bow half Beta ball. Just kidding. I don't want to eat your employees today. So then Whitney's like, why are you. When he's like, what? Why are you mad at Craig? Austin's like, because he met up with JT.

[Ben]

So.

[Ronald]

Madison says the. The silent part out loud. Just, hey, wait a minute. I thought we had an alliance here to get that little fired.

[Ben]

Oh, there's no lines. This isn't like Game of Thrones. And if it were, Craig would probably break the throne, he's so bad with chairs. So Madison's like, part of me wants to pull Craig over here and just ask him what he said. Well, let's get him over. Okay. Craig. Craig, get your Beta ass over here.

[Ronald]

We need to talk to you.

[Ben]

Okay. Call me that, Stark.

[Ronald]

I'm sorry. Say it again.

[Ben]

Call me Cersei and your Ned. Stark.

[Ronald]

Down. Get over here. Here. Sorry about that, Ben. So he does. He comes over and also like, well, look, it's the drunko. It's a drinko. I was just telling. It's gonna gut punch. You think you met it. Met up with jt? Oh, my God. Ow.

[Ben]

Well, I went because it felt very unresolved, because last time I saw him, I just stormed out of the place. And I'm a business owner in this town, and he's better. He better be getting along. It's better to have him getting along with you. You than, like, running around because, like, he could take down pillows down south. And then what?

[Ronald]

And then what, Craig? I'm a business owner now. So. Okay, so Austin's like, what are you gonna do? Say it again.

[Ben]

I'm a founder and CEO, like Danielle Oliveira of what?

[Ronald]

Craig, up. What? So then Mattis Austin's like, what's he gonna do, throw rocks at your store? And Madison said, well, I just want you to know. No. If someone talks about you and Paige, I would shut that down so quick.

[Ben]

I did. I did shut it down about both of you. I totally did. I was like, well, it just feels like a direct attack aimed at me. Craig, you know what?

[Ronald]

Listen, listen. Great story, Craig. Okay, you know what? We're done with him. He called my friend a. And he came from my marriage, so. Bye. Bye. Bye, bye.

[Ben]

You know, he's my friend. He's not supposed to go anywhere with JT So then she walks away, and Craig's like, why don't you just, like, go fishing with me And Shep and J.T. he's like, what? I can't just, like, sit here and talk about this guy right now. I just. I can't. I can't right now. It's insane right now.

[Ronald]

Yeah, I think Craig is just, like, constantly being a little. If he doesn't want to work on our friendship, then fine. Fine, fine.

[Ben]

So then Sally and Vanita and Leva and Andrew are talking, and Sally's like, well, I wonder if Taylor's coming. I mean, I'm nervous. Is she gonna push me into the pool? Foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing. So Rod and Tyler arrive, and. And Taylor's like, I feel like I'm gonna barf. Kind of like Penny on Southern hospitality. Am I right? Everyone call back.

[Ronald]

I hate that for you. But guess what? I do love the brickwork. Love it here. So they go in and say hi to Finita, and Venita meets Tyler for the first time. How is that? That goes to show you how many things. Vanitas invited. How is this the first time? That's crazy.

[Ben]

That's wild. So then Rod's, like, talking to Craig, and he's like, so, did you and Austin talk? And he's like, yeah, I had coffee with the little one, so I had to, like, explain myself.

[Ronald]

Call him the little one. So then Austin and Whitney are talking at the bar, and Austin's like, oh, thank God. They could have just asked me for a cake. Eggs, Jesus. Yeah, well, apparently, drop hop wasn't good enough. Your parents haven't paid off this Harris Teeter yet.

[Ben]

So then love is like, wow, Chef, it looks like you're working out. He's like, gosh, thanks. I think it's because of Sienna.

[Ronald]

Wow.

[Ben]

Maybe. Oh, like, man, it's like, maybe I'm looking like, I've got to bring it up to a high level because I'm dating a high level, awesome gal, so I can't look like a slob anymore.

[Ronald]

Oh. So Andrew goes to say hi to Taylor, and he's like, good to see you. She's like, yeah, okay, thanks. And walks away. And she's like, andrew, very strange. We were in a situationship, but then he wanted to be exclusive. But then he was still hooking up with multiple girls. So is that the story of just every man in this town?

[Ben]

Yes.

[Ronald]

What's the point? Move, all of you. Just move.

[Ben]

So Taylor has not come up and said hi to Sally. She's just acting really weird. And Sally, like, weird that she's not saying, hey, I mean, it's my house that I paid for, by the way. Not don't need any other man. Okay? This is a house built on robots. And she doesn't even say hi to me. Guess what? I'm gonna replace her with a robot. Unless she already is a robot because she is kind of robotic. Is anyone even listening to me anymore? I think I'm just talking to myself in the corner.

[Ronald]

So Austin and the guys are talking, and Craig's like, yeah, Austin's mad at us for going fishing. And sh's like, well, if fishing's involved, I gotta go. Besides, it was Craig's idea.

[Ben]

Dude, I don't want my friends who. Who they can't. I'm not gonna tell them who they can't and can't see. I'm just, like, shocked. I'm shocked right now.

[Ronald]

Yeah. Yeah. Where's loyalty to our friend? I mean, where's loyalty? Like, you guys are so loyal to Craig. You guys are such. And Craig's like, but I did. But you. You are telling me what to do. And Whitney's like, well, why the change of heart, Craig?

[Ben]

Why.

[Ronald]

Why are you seeing jt? And he's like, because things change.

[Ben]

And now.

[Ronald]

Now maybe I don't have loyalty anymore.

[Ben]

Oh, that might be Molly working on her percussion skills. So then there's like, they're eat. Some of them are eating oysters and everything. And Sally is still upset that Taylor hasn't said hi. And it is weird. And Taylor's doing that thing where she's like, oh, I guess I should say hi to her. I was like, yeah, you should have done that as soon as you walked in. Don't be so rude. Rude.

[Ronald]

So kind of walk her friends, kind of walk her over there. And Taylor's like, hi. Hi, Sally. Thanks so much for having me. I appreciate the invite. The house Looks great. I don't want to impose on your home, but there's things I definitely want to have conversations about if I want the measly paycheck compared to what the guys are getting that I'm getting from this show. Shall we sit down somewhere?

[Ben]

And she's like, okay. And she's like. She's like, yeah. She's like. She's like, I know I canceled my party and everything. And, like, you went to Craig's, and I heard that it's just, like, odd that you came into the group of friends and you're, like, telling them about a relationship from, like, a year ago and you, like, don't even know him, you know?

[Ronald]

Okay. Like, a year ago is so long. Give me a break. And Sally's like, well, I mean, I touched on Gaston, but it was just saying, like, how I went from an ex fiance to a horrible relationship ship with a man bun. And Taylor's like, that was just a fling.

[Ben]

She's like, no, but, I mean, we're exclusive a little bit. She says, where are you? She's like, yeah, I don't think you know the dab. Like, he's in my history, and I have a right to talk about my past.

[Ronald]

Yeah, you do. But Rod relayed that you said that he called you, and then here we go with this game of telephone. This cast is terrible at quoting because what she actually said was, I had a con. We had a conversation yesterday, and he said to keep my name out of his mouth. She never said that he was the one to call.

[Ben]

Call.

[Ronald]

So.

[Ben]

Right.

[Ronald]

You guys are trying to get. I have a feeling you'll be able to get Sally on stuff because she seems messy, but this isn't it.

[Ben]

Yeah. So meanwhile, Madison's talking to Andrew, and she's like, can I ask you something? Salah told me that Gaston called her, and he's like, yeah, he screamed at her. It's like a piece of. Then she called me in tears, and I, like, held her for, like, 30 seconds. Like 30 seconds.

[Ronald]

That ain't nothing. Jesus Christ. Did you have somewhere to go? And my was like, God, you suck at this. But they're doing it cotton wood in a flirty way because he's so hot, you know?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronald]

And so then we go back to the combo, and Sally's like, yeah, like, listen, this is a small town, and we're all human and we've all got each other's names in our mouths. It's Charleston. And Taylor's like, well, I mean, I try for it not to be. What are you talking about? You've been talking about this girl and dissing her relationship with.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Ronald]

Don't. And Sally's like, well, listen, but we're in a friend group, and there's people in this group who have told me not to trust you. Well, what does that have to do with anything?

[Ben]

I have a long standing history. And I up last year, but still she goes, right. And you have a long standing history. And they say that. So I don't have a long standing history. Do you see what I'm trying to say here? She goes, I see right through her. I don't trust this girl. I don't trust anything she says.

[Ronald]

Okay, well, trust me, if anyone asks me about him again, I won't comment. Or if anyone says anything about you either. Okay? So no bad blood until there's like, no bad blood. Like, how can you tell with Taylor? She's always in the same gear.

[Ben]

I know. So now Sally goes off to talk to Madison, and she's like, I think she's mad because I have her boyfriend's name in my mouth and he wants no part of this. This meaning like, the TV show. And Madison's like, yeah, and you also have her. Her ex boyfriend, too. And I think, is that her dog? Did you take her dog? I did. I did take her dog.

[Ronald]

So then she's like, kissing Andrew, like, yeah, he's mine now. So then it's like fighting over a biscuit that nobody's fighting over. You know what I mean? So then Taylor says bye to Tyler and Chip, and she's like, I'm out. I just don't want to be here. Okay, listen, you're at work. You have tried so hard to get on this show. Stop leaving work. It's ridiculous. At this point, she's trying to pull, like, a diva move, but you're just not the diva of the show. You are the cannon fodder. You know what I mean? You. They bring ladies onto this show to use them and abuse them and then recast them the next season. So stop walking out if you're gonna do it. Make your damn paycheck.

[Ben]

Yeah, and it seems like a fun party. Don't leave. So. And Mass is like, yeah, I'm going home too. It's a school night. Bye, Betas. So then now Leva and Vanita are there, there. And Leva's like, let's jump in the pool. I think you should jump in the pool. Let's do that. And so they jump in the pool.

[Ronald]

No, because that's love up for you. You know what? We should jump in the pool, actually. You should jump in the pool. I'll do nothing and then just kind of mock you from the side of the pool.

[Ben]

So Vanita jumps in, and then she's like. She starts cooing like a pigeon. And they're like, is Vanita drowning? I didn't even know she was even still. This casts. She's at level. This party. So then Greg, like, hold on. And he, like, jumps in and saves her, which is actually very heroic and very gallant. And people like, she can't swim. Why'd she jump in there? She's like. She's like, no, I. I had something in my throat, so I can swim fine. I just am really bad at closing my mouth when I jump into water.

[Ronald]

So I can be trusted to swim. Just not. Not breathe in the water when I swim. And she's like, yeah, maybe I had too many drinks. That's not really one of my proudest moments. What can I say? I feel so bad for Vanita, man.

[Ben]

That was so embarrassing.

[Ronald]

Every time she walks in, it's like she's just slammed down. It's like, here I am making my entrance, my first big moment, and boom.

[Ben]

What was so funny, though, was that, like, this scene is. This party is, like, spans several segments of the show. And prior to the scene, you know, there was who knows what? We had just sat through a conversation. Maybe it was Austin and Madison and. And Whitney talking about, you know, jt or we've just been going through one gossip scene to the next, and then it, like, goes to commercial. Like, coming up, Vanita's drowning. I was like, wait, what? What? Vanita's drowning? And then it comes back. I'm like, how is this not a bigger, like, part of the scene? Like, how is this not. How did they not even tease this in the. Coming up next week, Vanita might die.

[Ronald]

Yeah. Yeah, it's. It's sad. So then the producer asked Greg because now Craig's the hero, you know? So he's like, yeah, I sacrificed my suede shoes for that. So. And they're like, well, were you a lifeguard, Craig? And he goes, I'm trying to remember. This is. Craig's trying so hard not to lie. Like, you can see him weighing his options here. He's like, my brother was a beach lifeguard. My friends were be beach lifeguards. I. I was with them a lot. No, I guess I wasn't. Maybe I was. Maybe I was, but I don't remember.

[Ben]

Chicken. When they Ask you about being a lifeguard, Just say, pass, like you're on Family Feud. Just do that. Okay.

[Ronald]

No, but I was lifeguard. You weren't a lifeguard, Craig. I was. Oh, no, you weren't, Craig. Don't say it right. I wasn't.

[Ben]

Lifeguard repair.

[Ronald]

Repair.

[Ben]

Lifeguard repair. Craig, stop seeing the Safeguard theme song. That's a different song. Wrong are not the same thing.

[Ronald]

I love the thought of just not remembering being a lifeguard. Like, that takes no training or there's no real experience. It doesn't damper your summer at all, you know? So then now Rodrigo goes up to Austin.

[Ben]

He goes, hey, Austin, see what Amanda does?

[Ronald]

It's like, damn it. So then Craig starts wearing one of Andrew's shirts. He's like, why does this smell like patchouli? And then Molly comes because she was she. Sorry, she's four hours late. But, guys, she had a tuber where her tiny tuber rehearsal, and she messed up her solo.

[Ben]

How did she mess up her solo? She's like, I did Loompa Oompa instead of Oompa Loompa. It was a disaster.

[Ronald]

So then Austin and Craig, I talk again, and Austin's like, dude, what move, man? I'm just like. I'm just, like, so impressive. Impressed that you're. You're here, man. Like, wow, it's crazy. And he goes, whitney, I'm really impressed that you're here. And Whitney's like, yeah, it's just so, so fun. It's just so hard to leave. So are things copacetic with you guys? I really want to go home. Craig's like, you told me by. At my pool, you were like, I'm wound tight. And, like, I think, you know what? You're a little too loose. So that doesn't make a good best friend's podcast. And Austin's like, what? What?

[Ben]

What? Wow, I'm so angry that my three layers of bronzer are about to fall off. And Craig is like, the podcast was good because of our friendship, and now the chemistry is just not there anymore because Paige said it's not there. Craig's. Whitney's like, really? Really, Craig? It's like, yeah. I mean, how much would. How much would you have to give? How much do I have to give?

[Ronald]

How much do I have to give you to just take the name, basically, is what he's saying.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronald]

Like, how about you just drop out and I take it over?

[Ben]

Can I. Can I buy. Buy you out? Whoa. You are talking. You're talking about taking the right to Something that we built together just because I called you out. Whoa. Whoa.

[Ronald]

And so Whitney's like, well, you guys have done some good stuff with this pod Last pod podcast. I don't. What is it anyway? You've been through things. It's insurmountable, so just, you know, make up. And Craig's like, well, the podcast was the only good thing of our friend, part of our friendship, and now it's not. And it just feels like two people are logging on because they have to. So give it to me.

[Ben]

Well, the future of beer and pillows or pillows and beer ever survive. I don't know. It's a tough. It's a tough dilemma, Ronnie.

[Ronald]

Yeah, it is. It is pretty rough. But you know what? It's what's happening. So, everybody, thank you so much for being here. Have an amazing weekend. Don't forget to vote for your crappies and don't forget to get tickets for the crappies. Or San Francisco and San Diego, where we will be doing the Salt Lake City reunion or the following week after the crappies, where we will be in Salt Lake City and Denver. Got it. I got it. I nailed it.

[Ben]

Did it.

[Ronald]

All right, everybody, thanks so much for being here. We love you and we'll talk to you next time. Bye.

[Ben]

Bye. Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King Our.

[Ronald]

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[Ben]

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[Ronald]

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[Ben]

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[Ronald]

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[Ben]

We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns.

[Ronald]

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[Ben]

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[Ronald]

The Piston Anderson get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B Ringing the.

[Ben]

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[Ronald]

Name from us it's Lindsey D let's give a kisserino to Lisalina no fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.

[Ben]

Berg this is living with Michelle Vivian.

[Ronald]

I love a Ya Olivia Williamson Tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson have a.

[Ben]

Heck of a time with Rebecca she sure is swell It's Raquel yes we.

[Ronald]

Can It's Savannah Cast a spell with.

[Ben]

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[Ronald]

Our super Premium sponsors she's VVIP it's.

[Ben]

Amanda V. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD she's got a leg up It's Beth Ani we're taking the.

[Ronald]

Gold with Brenda Silva don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides Nobody holds a.

[Ben]

Candle to Jamie Kendall we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Junie, my Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod.

[Ronald]

Shadley let's go on a bender with.

[Ben]

Lauren Fender we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron she's a wiz It's Liz Sarthy always killin it It's Lola.

[Ronald]

Al Kalani the incredible edible Matthews sisters She eases our woes It's Melissa St.

[Ben]

Roger Give him hell Ms. Noel, put.

[Ronald]

On a kettle for Rebecca Weddle she's.

[Ben]

The queen bee It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a can and Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain she.

[Ronald]

Ain'T no shrinking violet cootar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail].

[Keke Palmer]

Hey, y'all, it's your girl, Kiki Palmer. And let me tell you, we're kicking off this new year with a whole new mindset. You know how everyone's all about New Year, new me. Well on, baby. This is Keke Palmer. We're taking it to a whole other level. We're talking new year, new perspectives, and, honey, it's gonna change your life. I sat down with astrology queen Chani Nicholas. Y'all, if you want to understand yourself better this year, this episode is it. And then there's my chat with the incredible da Vinci where nothing was off the table. If you're looking to level up your mindset this year, his words are definitely going to hit different if you're ready for that New Year New Mindset energy, you've got to tune in to Baby. This is Keke Palmer. Catch it on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And for the full experience, head to my YouTube channel. If you're looking for more podcasts to help you tune tend to your well being, check out New Year New Mindset on the Wondery App. Let's make this year our best one yet, Baby.