#2727 Summer House S09E01: Taco Contract in the Oven

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Episode #2727 Summary: Summer House Season 9 Premiere – “Taco Contract in the Oven”

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Introduction to Summer House Season 9

In Episode #2727 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive into the highly anticipated premiere of Summer House Season 9, titled “Taco Contract in the Oven.” Released on February 13, 2025, this episode dissects the latest developments, cast dynamics, and juicy drama unfolding in the Hamptons.

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New Cast Members: Lexi and Bailey

The season kicks off with the introduction of two new members, Lexi Wood and Bailey Danielle, whose arrivals stir the pot in the established cast dynamic.

Ben (03:49): "This is the strangest casting the show has ever done. Arguably Bravo has ever done is basically have like two adolescents joined the show."

Both hosts express skepticism about the age and authenticity of the new cast members, humorously suggesting they might be AI-generated characters designed to inject fresh drama.

Ronnie (04:33): "It's like they're doing Muppet Babies. And that's the Danielle version."

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Lindsay’s Pregnancy Announcement Shakes Up the House

One of the season’s biggest reveals comes when Lindsay announces her pregnancy, adding another layer of complexity to the house dynamics. The announcement is meticulously planned, complete with a detailed sonogram presentation, emphasizing Lindsay’s flair for the dramatic.

Ben (06:17): "Lindsay is entering the house pregnant. And so the questions are, what are we going to do with a pregnant person?"

Ronnie highlights the over-the-top nature of the announcement, pointing out how it sets the stage for upcoming conflicts and alliances.

Ronnie (06:31): "He's the vampire of Summer House who's just been around for hundreds of years."

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Carl’s Return and Ongoing Tensions

Carl’s return to the house reignites old tensions, especially concerning his past relationship with Lindsay. The hosts delve into Carl’s awkward reintegration and the lingering resentment from previous seasons.

Ben (16:32): "Carl being a nervous wreck and trying to navigate his relationship with Lindsay again is going to be a major storyline."

Ronnie adds his take on Carl’s inability to move past his previous behavior, questioning whether the cast can maintain harmony under the same roof.

Ronnie (39:54): "Poor little broken Carl. It's gonna be really difficult, guys."

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Interpersonal Dynamics and Flirtations

The episode explores various interpersonal relationships and flirtations among the cast members. Jesse and West’s interactions with the newcomers Lexi and Bailey become a focal point, with Jesse showing overt interest in Lexi, much to West’s annoyance.

Ben (73:32): "He's like, I just don't know you enough yet. He's like, I just like to feel people out."

Ronnie humorously critiques Jesse’s intentions and West’s frustration, adding levity to the tense interactions.

Ronnie (77:12): "You love a good dad joke. And teeth. I love teeth for some reason."

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Lindsay’s Strategic Moves and Social Media Savvy

Lindsay’s approach to her pregnancy announcement underscores her strategic mindset, leveraging social media for maximum impact. The hosts discuss how Lindsay balances her personal life with her public persona, ensuring her pregnancy becomes a talking point for the show.

Ben (57:05): "But she was just like, I'm down, whatever. I'm always working to make it and she was like, I'm done. This is what I want."

Ronnie notes the authenticity dilemma, questioning whether Lindsay’s actions are genuine or driven by the demands of reality TV fame.

Ronnie (74:11): "She was waiting for the ratings. Carl, it's called doing her job, okay?"

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Hosts’ Commentary and Humor

Throughout the episode, Ben and Ronnie infuse their analysis with sharp humor and witty commentary, making the summary both entertaining and insightful. They dissect scenes with a mix of sarcasm and genuine interest, ensuring listeners are both informed and amused.

Ben (40:25): "It's a cringy moment. And then, you know, drivers don't have to worry about the boys unless they're really cute, right?"

Ronnie (86:36): "She has portrayed her pregnancy on Instagram Hubcub. They're like, 'little hub cub.' Oh my God, baby, for sake."

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Ben and Ronnie reflect on the potential storylines and character arcs that Season 9 promises. They express excitement for the upcoming episodes, anticipating more drama, alliances, and unexpected twists.

Ben (89:31): "So, so Jesse introduces Carl to. He's like, 'introduce you to the love of my life.'"

Ronnie (90:53): "We'll be dumber next week. Well, we're watching Bravo, so that's just what happens."

The hosts tease upcoming discussions on Southern Charm and other Bravo shows, maintaining their trademark blend of humor and critical analysis.

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Notable Quotes:

• Ben (03:49): "This is the strangest casting the show has ever done."
• Ronnie (04:33): "It's like they're doing Muppet Babies. And that's the Danielle version."
• Ben (16:32): "Carl being a nervous wreck and trying to navigate his relationship with Lindsay again is going to be a major storyline."
• Ronnie (39:54): "Poor little broken Carl. It's gonna be really difficult, guys."
• Ben (73:32): "He's like, I just don't know you enough yet. He's like, I just like to feel people out."
• Ronnie (77:12): "You love a good dad joke. And teeth. I love teeth for some reason."
• Ben (57:05): "But she was just like, I'm down, whatever. I'm always working to make it and she was like, I'm done. This is what I want."
• Ronnie (74:11): "She was waiting for the ratings. Carl, it's called doing her job, okay?"
• Ben (40:25): "It's a cringy moment."
• Ronnie (86:36): "She has portrayed her pregnancy on Instagram Hubcub. They're like, 'little hub cub.' Oh my God, baby, for sake."

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Final Thoughts

Episode #2727 of Watch What Crappens offers a comprehensive and humorous breakdown of Summer House Season 9's premiere. Ben and Ronnie provide listeners with in-depth analysis, sharp critiques, and plenty of laughs, making it a must-listen for Bravo enthusiasts and reality TV aficionados alike.

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Support Watch What Crappens

Enjoyed this summary? Support Ben and Ronnie by visiting their Patreon at www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, video recaps, and exclusive access to their Discord server. Listen to Watch What Crappens on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts.

Transcript

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[B]

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[B]

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[B]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what crappens. We're a podcast about all the crap you just love to talk about on your bravs. I'm Ronnie and I'm joined by friend, confidant, ally and partner Ben Mandelker. Hello, Ben.

[A]

Hello. How are you?

[B]

Good. How's it going over there, baby?

[A]

Going is so well. How's it going over with you?

[B]

I'm good. I'm getting over my cold. I'm feeling much better. I even did a couple of push ups today. What do you think of that? Look at things.

[A]

That's wonderful. And I didn't did no push ups today, but I have a very skinny yellow straw that is poking through into the screen.

[B]

Oh, my God. It's one of the new cast members of Summer House. Everybody, welcome to the show. It is first day of Summer House coverage. 2025, season nine. What will happen with Carl? What will happen with Lindsay? Who let preschoolers into this house? Oh, my God. You are too young. Go home. I'm worried for you. I'm pulling up my white, my white Auntie Ronnie carrying van and throwing you in there. These boys will ruin you. Girls, get out of there.

[A]

This is the strangest casting the show has ever done. Arguably Bravo has ever done is basically have like two adolescents joined the show. I know that they're 26, but I'm not totally sure. I'm pretty sure they're 13.

[B]

I don't believe it. I don't believe those girls are 26.

[A]

No. Anyway, I think they're actually AI generated. They're AI generated especially. Well, there's like Bailey and then there's the girl who gets all the attention. I forgot her name. What's her name again?

[B]

Oh, God, 90 times today.

[A]

Yeah, I just remember that there's Bailey because I, I made a mental note of remembering Bailey because I was like, this show doesn't remember Bailey because she comes in and they just fully ignore her. Just this random girl that's in the house in Every scene.

[B]

She's the new Danielle. They're giving her that. She's baby Danielle. It's like they're doing Muppet Babies. And that's the Danielle version. Gorgeous girl who's just gonna get completely ignored because she's not blonde, basically.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So, anyway, we'll get to that. But everybody, thanks so much for supporting the Golden Crappies. Official streaming ending day is Valentine's Day, the 14th. Tomor watch it or it's over. But good news, we'll still be live. We'll be going on our Mounting Hysteria tour. Actually, we're already three weeks into it. And we've been having so much fun meeting you guys and hugging you guys. Even the one that gave me the flu. Even you. In March, we'll be in Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington, D.C. and Philly. And that's just in March. We've got a bunch more dates, too. If you want tickets for those or other dates, go to watch what crappens.com if you want Traders coverage, we are doing that over on Patreon. That's also where you get our videos, like today's. You can watch our video recaps instead of listening on Patreon. Or if you want to wait a week and watch them later or watch a back catalog of anything, just head over to YouTube and they are free there. All right, let's. Let's get into her, shall we, Ben?

[A]

Yeah, let's do it. Let's get right into the new season of summer house.

[B]

Yeah, a lot of questions about this one because Lindsay is entering the house pregnant. And so the questions are, what are we going to do with a pregnant person? And inside the summer house, I didn't know. But we find out real quick. And it's made Carl extremely uncomfortable.

[A]

Yeah, uncomfortable here. Yeah. So we open up with Andy at the reunion asking a very serious question, which is, do you think this same group of people can send it under.

[B]

One roof or has that ship sailed? Do you think this same group of people can look around at each other and not ask each other, hey, did you get new boobs?

[A]

So it's like, that's the big cliffhanger. Last season was so light and refreshing. Will they still be able to have fun? And now, two months later, it's Paige loading her luggage into Sierra's car. So I think the answer is, yes, we can keep it light and fun. Luggage loading.

[B]

Paige lifting a suitcase as big as her body. Let's see if it works. Actually, much larger than her body. It's a huge suitcase. And Sierra's that kind of friend, like me, who just sits in the front seat and goes, do you need help?

[A]

Do you need help? It's like, technically, I've asked if you need help, but I'm not actually getting out of the car to help. Paige is like. So she finally gets it in and she's like, I'm an independent woman. And then we cut to Kyle and Amanda loading up their luggage. They have a of luggage in that car. I hate their car. I just want to say, I just hate it. But they have filled it all the way up and there's no traffic. For whatever reason, there's no traffic heading to the Hamptons, so they are going to hit the road.

[B]

Why do you hate their car? What are they driving this year? Every year it's something new. What is it this year?

[A]

I think it's the same car as last time. I think it's. Is it a. Is it a.

[B]

Some.

[A]

It's some sort of BMW, but it has like, weird paneling. Like, it's like multicolored and I don't like that it's multicolored.

[B]

Oh, it's one of the.

[A]

You know which ones?

[B]

I think the electric one.

[A]

Is it an. Maybe. Let me see.

[B]

I think so. They're always driving like a hundred thousand dollar and over cars, you know, so I always like them. I think they're, you know, I just think they're fancy.

[A]

I mean, I respect, you know, Lindsay, who is keeping the Kia tradition alive. I'm pretty sure she returned in a Kia this. This year, like another Kia Sorrento.

[B]

And I was like, the Kia dream alive.

[A]

Yeah, I appreciate. I mean, she's probably getting sponsored by them, but like, way to go, Lindsay. And, you know, Kia, if you ever want to sponsor the Watch for Crappets podcast, we will be happy to show up in places in. I already do it naturally.

[B]

I was gonna say, what are you looking for a free Kia for? You already got.

[A]

I don't know. I'll take another Kia if I can give one.

[B]

I mean, no Kia, but let's aim a little bit bigger. I mean, come on. BMW come through. We'll take. We'll just take one of your electric buses. Jesus.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It never happened anyway. We didn't even get free shit from McDonald's. I mean, come on. Not even a Happy Meal.

[A]

I'll just say it. Maybach. I know you guys listen, so if you want to just send a free one over, we'll take it. We'll take a free payback. It's okay, what's that? It's just a casual luxury car that costs hundreds of thousand dollars.

[B]

So then we cut to Sierra and Paige driving, and Sierra's asking how Italy was, and she's like, did Craig come halfway through? She's like, craig came, like, four or five days in, so it was just me and my family for the beginning, which was really nice because I got to spend time with the love of my life, my mom. But then he came, and then me and my brother ganged up on Craig the whole time, and every time he would talk, we'd be like, shut up, Craig. It was really fun. So that was Traders.

[A]

Sierra's like, it was a whirlwind. And we see a picture of her. We see a cut to a shot, a scene of her in a cot in the coffin being like, whoever put me in this coffin?

[B]

She's like, it was so mentally exhausting. Like, everyone was crying by, like, the second day. And she's like, yeah, I was locked away in a castle in northern Scotland. Damn Arctic. I got 10 minutes of phone time every six days, but I couldn't even go on social. So basically I just looked at my texts and didn't respond. Typical.

[A]

Well, I saw you were with Jesse. How was that? And she's like, it's fine.

[B]

Well.

[A]

And did he say anything about West? And she's basically. Sierra is like, no. And she's like, I'd be shocked if West's head is not as inflated as it seems via social media and every other outlet, because he's been doing all these podcasts and there's a New York Times articles and everything. And she says, but I will say there's a high probability I put my dick on the table tonight and make it very clear west is a loser. I'm like, wow. Like, tell me you were just on the Traitors without telling me. You were just on the trailers. Tonight we're going, we're gonna sit at the table, and I'm gonna tell everyone that he is a traitor.

[B]

I'm getting him banished. Well, you guys already had your round table, and he's still there at breakfast, so you just need to get over it at this point. I mean, listen, you have to do like, the audience does and just reset at the beginning of every season. But I get that this is not that long after the reunion, so there's still sore feelings, but the. The worst thing to give him is more of your feelings at this point. He's gross. I don't even think he's taken a shower since The. Just let the douchebag douche, you know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Now he's. Now he's in his middle hair part era, so it's just. Even. It's. I. I don't see a way back for him. It's too late. Once you've done that with your hair, it's. It's over. It's over.

[B]

And plus, it's going to look way worse now because you guys are going to be raging at him. And they've brought in new guppies for the guys anyway.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, yeah, literally, it's not going to be a good look. So then we cut to the Hamptons, and West and Jesse are the first there because they're still like first seasons. First season people, you know.

[A]

Well, also. Yeah, well, also it's clear that the show is now pivoting towards making them the center. Like, I think that Carl and like, maybe Lindsay, but definitely Carl, like, he. He will be phased out. Like, we are now focusing on the new generation of the show, and that is going to be west and Jesse as our new pillars with Kyle and Amanda as like the. The house mom and dad. And so therefore we are. We start. They get. They are scheduled and they arrive at the house first, and they get first, you know, choice of bedrooms, and they go looking all around and basically there's like a room that has two bed. Beds in it. And west is like. He's like, basically like, okay, here's the thing. We each get our own room here, downstairs, but we. But we have to commute to the bathroom. But we can double up upstairs and have our own bathroom. So what do you think? And Jesse's like, yeah, I prefer to walk to the bathroom, I think.

[B]

Yeah, that really hurts my feel, dude. God. Dude. Hurts my family. And Jesse's like, wait a minute. But being roommates would be funny. And this is what's annoying about these guys. They're already. They're only thinking about the show. You know what I mean? It's like, well, that would be. That would be a good storyline. So let's do that.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

Let's go with a good storyline.

[A]

I'm like, well, what do you. What do you choose, Ronnie? Private bathroom or private sleeping?

[B]

Private sleeping.

[A]

Yeah, Private sleeping. All the way, right? All the way.

[B]

Yeah, of course. So then, because you're in a group house, so someone's going to be pooping on your throne anyway, I mean, there's no getting around it, especially if they're on the first floor, because, you know, that's where People poop. That's just natural.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You want to be closer to the ground.

[A]

I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page because there was that dreaded time when we discussed how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and we realized certain truths about each other that we're would never, maybe have never recovered from. So I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page when it comes to private sleeping versus private bathroom.

[B]

Yeah. If we shared a bathroom, I'd be like, well, there goes Ben's improperly, you know, slathered jelly.

[A]

Ben's strange peanut butter on one half, jelly on the other half, and put together like a book. And I'd be like, I can't believe Ronnie is putting the. The jelly on top of the peanut butter.

[B]

Yeah. Even jellies for suckers. So then they decide that it's going to be the best storyline if they take the one with two beds. They're like, we're wacky. And West's like, yeah, I love a bunk bedroom, dude. It's, like, funny. It's got the most giggles, and, like, I love to giggle. Heart, heart with my hands. Heart with my hands. Don't.

[A]

Don't steal Paige's thing. That's. That's. That's not right. So Jesse's like, yeah, let's do it. I don't think I could have any more fun with anybody but you. So, like, yeah, get your bag. I'll see you in the room. Jesse is, like, more stoned this season than last season because, you know, he did lose his job, and I don't know if he ever got a new job. And a part of me wonders, has he just been smoking up ever since. Ever since he got fired, because he just seems totally, totally stoned.

[B]

That is such an emotional moment. Beating cancer and that's, like, kind of reminding me it's time to live, brother. So I'm sharing a room. And so then Jess is like, yeah, the only issue. No Jaying, no jang, brah. And Wes is like, what do you Jay in the house anyway? He's like, never, brah. He goes, yeah, I Jay in the house. Well, maybe I jade in the bathroom once.

[A]

You for sure Jade in the bathroom, Which I assume meant Jesus, right? Like, prayed to Jesus. So then they go to the kitchen, and they're just like, all happy and everything. And the producer. So then Sierra, he's just, I'm sorry. West is, you know, he's anticipating Sierra's return, and the producer is like, when was the last time you saw her? And he says, well, the day after the reunion, we met up at a bar. And I just remember her being like you. You didn't say anything at the reunion. And we see flashbacks of Sierra and Paige just kind of tearing west apart. Justifiably. So stupid in a stupid blazer. And him just sitting there like, shell shocked.

[B]

So he's like, yeah, my spatial awareness was off. That's what they told him. So he's like, yeah, I was caught off guard, I think. And, like, I wasn't, like, prepared at all, clearly. But, like, her feelings are valid, but I just don't know how else I'm supposed to break up with someone so.

[A]

You can tell them, say. I mean, I guess. Well, the thing is this.

[B]

It's not somebody. When you weren't ready to be in a relationship after they told you they weren't gonna you unless they were going to be in a relationship, they didn't want to look exactly on tv. And then you turned around to make them look stupid on tv, and the second you didn't need anymore, you dumped her ass. That's what you shouldn't have done. Don't make it sound like you were in some long relationship and you just didn't. She just couldn't take it that you, the stud of all studs, broke up with her. Give me a break.

[A]

But it wasn't just even about a breakup. It wasn't just about a breakup, if I remember correctly. It was that he was saying things like, well, the show's gonna. And there's gonna be. He basically wanted to go and have sex with all his new fans. And that's what it came down to on top of everything else. And it was just a real shitty move on his part. And he just ruined, like, a shockingly high amount of goodwill from the audience. Like, so hot. Minus. Minus Ronnie, who never liked him. But everyone else was like, this guy is great. We really love this guy. I mean, like, really one of the best debuts that we've ever seen on Bravo. And he just flushed it all down the toilet. And now we can't even. Like, you watch as cutesy stuff. And now I know what it was like for you all last season because you watch this cutesy stuff and you just know it's all, like, a sham. Yeah.

[B]

So? Well, shams are useful on pillows, I'll say that. So he's just gross. So then Jesse's like, well, I heard a rumor a girl's coming. I heard she's hot. So then we come back to Kyle And Amanda, and she's like, we have new friends coming to the house this summer, Kyle. Oh, is it avocado and avocado? No, I'm not talking about guacamole, Kyle.

[A]

Well, I talked to Lexi, and she sounded super nice and, like, super bubbly, and she's learning the Alphabet. Yeah, Kyle. She's, like, the sweetest. And, like, she's like. Like, on the younger side. Like, what's young? Five years old.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

That's pretty young.

[B]

That'll adapt.

[A]

We'll take her to me.

[B]

So then cut to newcomer Lexi Wood and her friend Bailey, who doesn't have a last name, apparently arriving at the house. Bailey. Danielle, arriving at the house.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

Do we wear shoes in here?

[A]

Is this to promote the White Lotus? Because I swear to God, these are White Lotus characters. I swear to God. Were these, like, the two. Were these. I'm not saying that these are prostitutes, but they really reminded me of, like, the prostitutes from last year, you know, just, like, these two girls were, like, hanging around the resort, like, hey. And they're, like, silly. And I was like, who are these girls?

[B]

The one just wants to play the piano more than anything.

[A]

Yeah. That's all she needs in life is to play the piano at the summer house.

[B]

And west hears that, and he's like, do we wear shoes? That means it's a stranger. Wow. New people. So saying hi. We come in groceries. Oh, my God, you're so.

[A]

Honestly, Lexi. I mean, I don't know what to make of her. She seems nice enough, but she seems like a strange, kind of, like, AI generated person. And the prompt was, like, small creature. But let's add Patti LuPone's face to it. She has Patti LuPone face.

[B]

Whipland creature with Patti LuPone face. I. She's. She's giving me a little Joanna Krupa. I mean, I don't know. I think she's a. They're both beautiful girls. And, you know, this. This whole. This show is making fun of people obvious. But, you know, they're beautiful, and they seem really sweet and everything, so I don't want to go too hard on them, but these guys are active. No, let me just stick with this. I don't want to go too hard on them, but I will say this. I do want to go hard on Lexi's parents because they let her start that filling up your lip too soon. Her lips are flipping over on themselves. Okay, parents, if you don't let your kids drive, don't let them start putting all that in their face when they're like 4 years old. Just stop already. I mean, a little, but, my God, show some restraint. But anyway, anyway, the guys see these girls, and they are like dads on the golf course at a country club whenever they're drink girls, you know, when the drink girls come around and the men are all like, oh, hey, honey. Like, they get off, their voice gets a little deeper, and they try and stand up straight and pull in their paunches. Okay, honey. How's it going, toots? I just felt it was very cringy. It's a cringy. It's a cringy moment.

[A]

And in reality, like, I don't know how old Bailey is, but Lexi is, I think, 26. So she's only four or four or five years younger than. Well, west is 29, which is crazy, but she's. So Bailey is only three years younger than west and only five years younger than Jesse, who's 31. It's not so. It's. It's not why they're in the same age group, but they. They just. They read as so young. It's crazy.

[B]

Yeah, they really do. And I think because they're both really tiny, too, definitely Bailey seems more together than Lex. I mean, Lexi just seems like. Whereas Bailey I would trust to get me home at night. You know what I mean? Bailey is really drunk at the bars. When I was younger, that's definitely a friend that I would trust to be around. Whereas the other one I would feel like is off in a wood. In a wood somewhere, you know, just being giggling at spirits or whatever, you.

[A]

Know, you mentioned that they're like Muppet babies. And Bailey reminds me of, like, a Muppet baby version of Anne from Vanderpump Rules. Anne, who has had a Super bowl commercial, by the way, a very prominent super bowl commercial, but she has, like, Muppet Baby Ann. And she just sort of was like. I almost am expecting her to, like, get groceries for everyone.

[B]

They do. They come bearing groceries. I'm gonna stick with my. I'm gonna stick with my Muppet Baby Danielle for her, because she's gonna get the Danielle treatment this whole. This whole summer. I could already see it coming. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. Elevating my style used to mean breaking the bank. But with quints, I get high end, versatile pieces at prices I can actually afford. Now I can upgrade my style by snagging luxury essentials that sync with my vibe and my wallet.

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

And Wes is like, and what about you? And Bailey's like, I'm from Kentucky. And he's like, really?

[B]

Where?

[A]

Parts says Lexington. He's like, well, from Missouri. So we're like border states and everything. So, you know, scintillating conversation between the two of them. So they're just like all flirting and. Oh. So Bailey is 27. And so Bailey is actually the older one of the two. And there are comparing ages and stuff. And then Jesse says, you know, he's 31. And Lexi goes, oh, per. It's like, what'd you say? She said purr. So that's gen gen negative Z. Because we're like more gen Z than you are. So we're like a lower, lower letter than Z right now. That's gen negative Z for high hot.

[B]

I guess it's like, is that a good age? She's like, I think so. I think it's actually a great age. He's like, yeah, dude, we're getting younger in this house. We're saying purr now. Purr. Oh.

[A]

So they go to the backyard.

[B]

It's like your dad being like, whoa, that lady's a mother.

[A]

So then they're showing the, the, the girls like everything that there's sometimes a mechanical bull in the backyard and a dance floor and everything. And Lexi is saying like, she's really good at mechanical bulls. And she goes, I mean, I mean, knock on wood. Which I feel like I can knock on myself because my last name is Wood. So if anyone needs to knock on wood, I'm here.

[B]

Wait, that's actually kind of sick. That's so purr. And Jesse's like, wait, Lexi Wood? What's your middle name? She's like, Diane goes, oh, I thought it might have been. Gives me.

[A]

She's like, she's like, oh, I've never heard that one before because really? And she tells us, yeah, I've heard that joke a thousand times. But like, it was the first time I heard it from him, so technically I didn't lie.

[B]

I appreciate that though. Starting the summer. Great. Cheers to us. I genuinely go for somebody that can be silly. And I love a good dad joke. And teeth. I love teeth for some reason. And he's got a lot of teeth.

[A]

So they go back inside.

[B]

I can't, I can't. I both want to tell this girl just to be quiet and also to tell her to run, Run quietly. Run quietly. Get in my van. We're going to your parents house.

[A]

I know. And she's like, not that they would do anything.

[B]

Her mom's probably sitting there waiting with a syringe at the front door.

[A]

I, I would never have thought her middle name was Diane, by the way. She does not seem like a Diane to me. Doesn't seem like Diane is part of her personality.

[B]

Right, well, that's where your par then. All the respect names that they don't want anyone to actually call you, but they don't want their parents to be pissed off. Like my middle name is. What the.

[A]

Well, well, to be fair, this girl had kind of a soap opera name that she has changed to Lexi because it was, you know, her name was probably Alexis Diane Wood, which sounds like, okay, you're taking over an oil company on a soap opera. Congratulations, you're a very powerful woman who wears big hats. But now she's unfortunately not lived up to the promise of her name. She's just changed into Lex Lexi. Lexi Wood. Which is like just a different vibe.

[B]

You know, I just feel like you need to give your daughter a stronger name in. In today's culture, you know, it's like a big bad culture out there, and we need, like, strong. We need people with, like, strength. You know what I mean? You don't need something so agreeable, like, will you do it, Lexi? Would I just. You need something stronger, like Won't. Just. Just rename yourself to Won't.

[A]

Won't. Oh, I see. Yes. Lexi Wood. I see what you're saying there. Well, unfortunately, she could never become a professional because then she becomes Lexa Pro. So that's awkward.

[B]

So she. So they go inside and she's like, how many of the humans are here? And he goes, how many of the humans are here? Well, oh, my God, that's hilarious. How many humans are there west per.

[A]

Dude, it's like 10. Like, there's Amanda and Kyle, who are like. They're basically old people at this point. Oh, look, they're driving up. Here they come. So now here come Amanda. And I'm just like, I. I have to say, after seeing Lexi and Bailey, a big thing for me in this premiere was wondering how, like, Paige, Amanda Sierra, and Lindsay were going to react to the new, like. Like little fawns that have arrived. Because I was like, I can't imagine that I. I just cannot imagine they'll be able ever be able to hide their disdain. So the first test.

[B]

So I think they're going to be.

[A]

Like, they were very nice.

[B]

So we don. Like a bunch of, you know, a bunch of assholes. But, you know that they wanted to put them on the grill.

[A]

Yes, they were. They were all very, very kind to them. But I. I'm like, let's come on we're. It's not gonna last. Okay. So Amanda's the first test. So she and Kyle arrive, and Amanda. Amanda's really claiming them as her friends, because I guess she spoke to them on the phone and met them at an event.

[B]

So she's not trying very hard, is she? Because she's like, well, I. Girl at an event, and then I met the other one through a friend. So she's not claiming them like a housewife would. Normally, housewives are like, oh, I've known her for, like, seven years, and she's, like, the best thing ever. I'm, like, so excited she's here. And Amanda's not doing that. She's just, like, barely met them. They were forced upon me. Let's see what they're like.

[A]

Yeah. So we. As they're pulling up, then we cut back to Jesse and West and Bailey and Lexi, and Jesse is talking about, like, hey, so we added two chicks, so that's 11 of us. And Lexi's like, we like to be called ladies. And he's like, what about women? Did you know, by the way, you know that men are supposed to go downstairs before women? Isn't that, like, super per.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Is that a good use of purr?

[B]

I'm surprised one of them wasn't like, how about female?

[A]

Can we call you female?

[B]

So she's like, oh, my God. Are you holding my hand right now? Thank you so much. She goes, yeah, of course. I would do anything for you. So then they go greet Kyle and Amanda, and west offers help with the bags, and Amanda just leaves, and she's. And poor west, basically the rest of the episode, since he got clobbered at the reunion, has to bring in everybody's luggage.

[A]

Yep. So Amanda's now talking about how she met Lexi, and she's like, yeah, you know, I met Lexi at, like, an event, and she's, like, super sweet and bubbly, and she's like a little puppy, and I just want to cuddle her. And Bailey and I have mutual friends that we met through something. I don't know. I think it was someone I shared an Uber with once, and somehow. I don't know, we're. We're somehow connected, and she's just, like, a quirky, spunky girl that we're not going to pay much attention to. I don't even think we're gonna put her in the trailer. Right. We're not gonna put her in the trailer. Anyway, I get her awkwardness. I appreciate it.

[B]

Oh, my God, you guys, I'm sorry. You Were stuck with these two schmucks. The boys were actually very good hosts, so don't worry about it. So then Page and Sierra are coming, and Sierra's like, last year we maybe I'm in my toddler era where everything is just like, no. Yeah. Need a nap? Like, shut the door.

[A]

I have to pee so bad. So then they walk in and say hi and everything and they hug. And west is, of course, this is a big face to face moment with west and they're kind of like lining up for hugs with Paige and Sierra. So Amanda's like, are you gonna go last? Is that just. What is that? Is that what you just said? Like, are you nervous? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? He's like, yeah, man, I'm nervous.

[B]

And.

[A]

And like, Wes is like turning red and, like getting extremely uncool in this moment.

[B]

He's like, I'll go last. So he gets to the end of the line and then Sierra comes up and he tries to hug her and she just kind of like puts her hand on his chest and moves him away. So then Jesse's. They have shots or something or they're hugs, basically. And Jesse's like, oh, my God, you're so hot, Sierra. And then Amanda is asking Kyle for a limoncello and he's like, yeah, okay, Wes, let's go have some man time. So Wes is like, oh, my God, get me out of that room. It's going to be a long summer. Kyle, like, I tried to hug her and she just slapped my arm away. He's like, oh, really? You know, diplo has a song called sad summer. Oh, my God.

[A]

Wow. Thank you for adding that insight and texture to the scene.

[B]

Kyle's promoting his new business as he hammond as he hands off one of his branded drinks, he's like, yeah, diploma. Oh, Diplo.

[A]

Sad summer. Sad. Does he have a drink called sad summer now?

[B]

Nobody has Leon Cello. And then he's a DJ now, like Diplo.

[A]

So I just feel like if you're going to reference a musical soundtrack to this moment, I feel like you would go for cruel summer either by banana Rama or Taylor Swift. But why are we going to sad Summer? It's cruel summer.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

Summer is what you call for Diplo bro.

[B]

It's Diplo bro.

[A]

Diplo man.

[B]

Get. So if the girls are talking. And Amanda's like, oh, my God. When you guys walked in, Wes said, I'm gonna go last. Isn't that hilarious?

[A]

Sierra's like, yeah, he should go last. Did you hug? Did you guys hug it. Was it awkward? God, I wish I'd seen it, G. I would have laughed so hard. And Sierra's like, well, he tried. And I put him, like, put his arm around me. And I was like, literally. I was like, no, I literally took his hand. I was like, get your hand off your. My, like, space. I'm putting your hand on your jazz. And don't touch me. You know, just wait. Talk.

[B]

Okay, but like, what Rap. What? That's the opposite of her. And Sierra's like, well, last summer, me and Wes, like, had a thing, and it didn't end well. And so it's like, he's still doing New York Times articles, and. And I don't appreciate it. Amanda goes, yeah, he's running his mouth. So, yeah, I'm like, you're like a little boy right now. So Paige is like, yeah, so that means we're going to all accidentally drown him later. Are you in? And Lexi's like, I am Canadian.

[A]

This is like, a little mean for a Canadian. So Sierra is like, when I got back from Scotland, I was bombarded with text messages and phone calls about West New York Times article and about me, basically, because don't forget that last year, New York, the New York Times had, for some reason, like, a hard on for these guys on Bravo. So there was, like, a sandal profile and a West profile, and didn't. Neither of them really aged very well. So Sierra is like, yeah, I have no tolerance. And basically in the article, he was talking about how the relationship ran its course and they're not each other's people. And she's like, yeah, but why didn't you ever tell any of that to me?

[B]

So then the producer is like, but did you come in here thinking there might be a chance to get back with Wes? And she's like, not even answering that. I'm not doing that to myself. No way am I gonna make myself look stupid. So whatever. But, you know, then don't just say no.

[A]

We've been watching the traitors. That ship has sailed.

[B]

So now the guys are in the backyard, and they're talking, like, about Carl and Lindsay, and are they gonna hug? Oh, my God. And then back to the girls. And Sierra's like, basically, the general consensus is that we hate boys unless they're really cute, right? I will say, Jesse is pretty cute, you guys.

[A]

And Bailey's like, hi, I'm Bailey, guys.

[B]

I'm.

[A]

I'm here too. And her horoscope, by the way, Lexi's horoscope said that she's going to kiss someone.

[B]

So why is it always the girl that everybody ignores knows everything about horoscopes? I just feel like that's such a. That's such a sad way to try and get into every conversation. Like, oh, my God, you guys, I have a newspaper. And in the end, there's horoscopes. Anybody want theirs?

[A]

Amanda's like, scoping out, you're going to kiss somebody.

[B]

What? Horoscopes. I don't want that.

[A]

I've never heard of that. What? First of all, I've also never heard of a horoscope that was so specific. Horoscopes are never specific like that. They're kind of like, there will be some love and attention in your life today. She's like, okay, great. So. So when's Lindsay coming? She loves to make out with a chick. And Bailey's like, I do too. I'm like, down to fiddle. Does that give me a space at the table here? I'm just, like, trying to fit in. Guys, can I have screen time? So Lindsay and Gabby show up, and Lindsay's like, does this gate goes in or out?

[B]

I forgot.

[A]

And they enter in and it's all very exciting. And everyone's cheer, like happy to see them and hugging and they bring in groceries. And Lindsay's like, yeah, we were just like over here wishing upon a star that some strong man would like him elbows and, you know, like, lots of readings, etc. And hugs.

[B]

Yeah, lots of hug, big hair, don't care, etc. Etc. And now they're talking about rooms and who's going to get what. And Sierra's like, so, Jesse, you've already hugged me. And he's like, I know, I just wanted another one. So he hugs her again. And then cut to west bringing in all the luggage more and more and more and more luggage. It's never ending luggage. So then Sierra is talking to Lindsay and she's like, isn't it weird to be back here? And she goes, last time I was in this kitchen, I was getting gaslit as a you guys. And then we see the flashback of Carl being like a partnership is you caring how I feel. And you're making me feel, and you're making me feel like you don't care how I feel. And feeling is how feeling is. And you're making me not feel like I'm feeling because, like, you're emptying drinks instead of caring about my heart right now. Those are fighting words.

[A]

He's like, yeah, I'm not fighting you. I'm just Trying to communicate, but like, you shut it down by saying, I'm fighting you. It's like, oh, it's absolute. So Lindsay's like, but here we are.

[B]

Almost a year later, cheersing to his new summer.

[A]

So they're all gonna do, like, little shots and cheers and whatever. And so they. They toast and everything. And of course. And we find out Carl's coming tomorrow and everything. And Kyle's like, well, I think Carl's like, hey, let's ease our way into the new dynamic. And I think he was respectfully trying to make it easier on everybody. Carl's just trying to be soft again, trying to enter this.

[B]

He's also trying to have an entrance. You know, he's like the big. The big dramatic entrance is Carl.

[A]

Well, because it's gonna be a lot for him. It' a lot for Carl.

[B]

Poor little broken Carl. It's gonna be really difficult, guys.

[A]

It's like a lot, bro.

[B]

So they all cheers and Amanda's like, guys, for dinner, I have a guy coming to do a body in the backyard. Basically every time Kyle eats, he throws his food all over the ground. Anyway, so I figured we'd make it the theme for the night.

[A]

So they're gonna go choose rooms. By the way, when they toasted, Lindsay appeared to take a sip of Ros. But I wonder if she didn't actually swallow or if she just like, let it look like it into her mouth. But it didn't really go into her mouth because they definitely lingered. The shot lingered on her drinking the rose, but it felt like it was. I don't think. I don't think that she drank the rose, but I feel like there was some sort of like, trickery afoot, like in the. In the best way, like illusion, illusionary. That was happening and I wanted.

[B]

I ain't here to judge ladies drinking. I was born in the 70s, okay? You know what? Franzia was called fuel. So baby fuel. So whatever. I. My mom didn't even break water. She broke a bag of Franzia and Alex belt.

[A]

Well, so now they're going to pick rooms and Lindsay just doesn't want to be in her old room. And so they're all going to do this whole thing and they're. They're splitting up rooms, etc. They're go racing around and there's talk about like Kyle going, he's going to complain about the. The light in the master bedroom, etc. And the girl, the Lexi. Lexi is fine to go wherever. And Jesse's like, well, you guys could just like come bunk up with Us. Haha. She's like, oh, my God, that's really nice of you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

It's like, yeah. We're like guys. Yeah. And you know, we all. You always know that, like, the good, the best guys are the guys who call themselves good guys. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So then Paige tells Kyle, where are you going to live? So you don't cry about it. Kyle, he's like, hey, Amanda's the one who made the decision.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

I'm having a good boy. I'm having a good husband season. Yeah. So you're going to cry about it because of the light. He's like, oh. Paige goes, oh, my God, he's so bright. I can't sleep.

[A]

I bought a new eye mask. It's from the Diplo collection. It's called sad sleep. So now then, Amanda's of course, like, cracking up because she's like, oh, my God, Kyle's gonna throw a bitch fit in here.

[B]

So take the primary bedroom, the one with the big log as the headboard. And so, yes, the room that Kyle hates. So then we cut back to the kitchen, and he's still talking about his eye mask to the girls. And Amanda just goes, kyle, we're gonna need curtains.

[A]

So meanwhile, Jesse's like, by the way, Sierra, I really like your little skirt. I. I won't look at it while we're walking up the stairs though, but I do like it. And Sierra's like, jesse, just bring a luggage up. He's like, is this our summer? Is it finally our time? So, like, I'm. I'm ready. I'm ready for Jesse's boy edit. Like, it's clearly already starting. It's gonna be a terrible season for him and it's gonna be great for.

[B]

For us. But doesn't he just end up with this new girl right away? And then they. Their boyfriend and girlfriend and that's it. I thought that was the end of that story. I thought he was. I thought. I mean, I don't know from everything.

[A]

I have no idea.

[B]

He hooked up with this girl right in the beginning and that was it. You see him on Instagram all over the place. I don't know.

[A]

Oh, really? I haven't noticed. I mean, I don't know. Pay attention to his Instagram. So I haven't seen. But maybe. I don't know.

[B]

He's kind of flirting with Sierra, but in a joking way. I mean, I can't tell. He's like, is this our season? Is this our season in. And then he touches her hand at the Top of the stairs, on the luggage. And he goes, oh, my God. How did that happen? She's like, shut up. So then Paige is stuck down there. She's like, jesse, I also need help. Jesus. So then Lindsay is in her room. Everybody finds our room, basically. And Sarah's like, oh, my God. We need to put a fridge here and a clothing rack here. I don't want to leave this room. And Paige goes, yeah. And I do not disturb sign right here. Yeah. So, Jesse, are you gonna talk shit now? Are you gonna take a shit in our bathroom? Or what are you doing? And he's like, oh, just pissing. Don't worry about it.

[A]

Yeah, he's fully just, like, peeing right there. So Sierra's like, well, we do have to feel out the bed, though. So, like, let's see what it's like with the door closed. And then they hop on the bed, but Jesse hops on the bed, too. I'm like, jesse. Jesse Solomon. Okay, Jesse, what do you think of the new girls? And Jesse's like, well, Lexi's definitely cute and, like, definitely a bit ditzy from what I can tell. Like, you're the one who's stoned out of your mind right now. I think Paige goes, I think she's just Canadian. She's not ditzy, just Canadian.

[B]

So then in her room, Lexi and Bailey are talking about which kind of they have twin rooms, and they're deciding which one to take. And Lexi's like, do you mind if I take this room? Because the back one feels really lonely, and I'm scared of the dark. And she's like, what? Yeah, it's really scary.

[A]

And Jesse's like, yeah, well, she's being really flirty with me. She said, purr. And Sarah goes, honestly, take my advice. Don't where you eat. And also, please don't in our bathroom.

[B]

But where else would I eat my breakfast tacos?

[A]

I mean, old dog, new tricks.

[B]

So, yeah, I'm gonna try and, like, move slow, because, like, things, you know, strings tend to get attached. And Paige is like, well, she did say you were cute. She did. Nice. Scored.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, it's. Oh, wait, I thought you were taking it slow now. He's like, no, I'm in love with her now, Guys, I'm gonna get a ring. So.

[A]

So, by the way, what was your car right up? Like, was west nervous? Please tell. Please say he was nervous. God, we just want him to be so nervous. And Jesse's like, no. Wes was like. You know, he thought, like, everything was gonna be normal. And then he said he tried to hug you and then you swatted his hand away. And Sierra's like, oh, oh my God. What the. What are you mad about? Oh, honey, I'm not mad about anything. I just think he's annoying and I think he's a loser. Loser.

[B]

But she's not mad. Yeah, so they laugh about that. And then he's like, well, can we just all be friends? And she goes, look, we're gonna have a great summer individually and collectively, and I'll clear maybe something up a little bit later. But other than that, I'm like, fine, whatever. So Paige goes, now run and tell your friends what you heard here. Go boy, go.

[A]

Commercials.

[B]

Here comes one right now. UFO lands in Suffolk and that's official, said the News of the World. But what really happened across two nights in December 1980 when US servicemen saw mysterious lights in the forest near RAF Woodbridge and claimed to have had a close encounter with an actual craft?

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Are we alone?

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Encounters is a podcast which is going to find out. Listen to Encounters exclusively in ad free on Wondry plus. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or in Apple Podcasts. Welcome to the offensive line, you guys. On this podcast, we're going to make some picks, talk some shit, and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Hagar. So here's how this show's going to work. Okay, we're going to run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like no offense, no offense Travis Kelce, but you gotta step up your game. If Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year, we're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May have a Point award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter, is it Brandon Aiyuk T. Higgins or Devontae Adams? Plus, on Thursdays we're doing an exclusive welcome to a bonus episode on Wondery where I share my fantasy Football picks. Ahead of Thursday Night Football and the weekend's matchups, your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad free right now by joining Wondery.

[A]

So. So then we cut to, like, west is in his room just sort of, like, being brutal. And then Amanda's in her room telling Lexi that she's welcome to use her bathro. She wants to poop. And then we go to Lindsay, and she's talking with Gabby in her room, and she's like. Lindsay's saying how she's, like, really nervous, and they're. They're talking about some sort of announcement that Lindsay's gonna make, which, of course, we all know what it's gonna be, but Lindsay's, you know, sort of planning it out. Like, let's. Maybe. Maybe there should be. Gabby, why don't you gather people around in the living room for, like a, you know, cheers to the summer toast. I can make the announcement there because this is gonna be the biggest announcement of her life, et cetera, et cetera. So she's.

[B]

Oh, my God, I wrote a speech. I need to practice my speech. But I' Where I put the hashtags? Do I say hashtag or do I say number sign? I mean, how do people do it now? I've got to get the sponsors in there. He's like, just do it. Don't. Don't worry so much about. I memorized it.

[A]

So now it's 7:03pm in case you thought it was 7:00, it's actually 7:03. Three minutes have passed since your expectation. And Amanda and Paige, they're in Amanda's room and that, you know, Amanda tells a story about how she found poop on her dress at home. And I was like, that's not great. So then Jesse is like, hey, this room is like a vibe. It's so smart. And Wes is like, yeah, yeah, you know better. So they're all setting up this hibachi for the hibachi guy. Like, they're moving tables around in the backyard. It's like a lot of getting things ready in this episode. You know, it's like first episode of the season, getting things.

[B]

So west and Jesse are in their room, and Wes is like, bro, why are you already foaming at the mouth? He's like, oh, about Lexi. Like, I'm excited. She's hot. She's young. She's a string bean. She doesn't know anything. Like, I'm totally in underwear. He goes, but, bro, we're supposed to be having our bro summer. And he's like, I mean, I don't even know if she's single. Like, don't worry about it. We're totally still bros. Bro summer over. Bro summer is over, okay? And of course, Kyle's in there setting up his dj, his diplo moment. And then Paige and Sierra are talking about Lindsay, and they're like, do you think that Lindsay's pissed that Carl's coming? And she goes, I don't know. I meant to ask her, like, what's your vibe? But then I would have had to, like, talk to Lindsay.

[A]

So I had this gut feeling that they're actually going to become friends, which is, like, so annoying. And Sierra's like, again? She's like, yeah. She's like, with a new guy. And she's like, you know, you've been my friend for 10 years, all that kind of stuff. So, like, where we left off, Paige, I think that's, like, nuts. Yeah, it's nuts, but it's also Lindsay, and she's like, you know, 80 years old. So just, like, let her enjoy the last few years of her life.

[B]

So now outside Alexa, I mean, Lexi, Bailey, and Amanda are putting out chairs and making the hibachi table, and Gabby comes out in stiletto heels, and they're like, do you want to help? Help? And she's like, no, yeah, I can't do that, because that's, like, work. But I will be inside pouring shots for people, so if you want that, come inside. So then Wes is like, oh, my God. Girls are carrying the chairs. That's such a bad look, bro. Oh, my God. How am I gonna get laid? I'm against Jesse again this year. I better carry things. I'm the caring person. Hey, does anybody think carrying things this hot? Because I can carry things. Look at me with these chicks chairs.

[A]

They're gonna really impress them with their masculinity by holding plastic chairs. So they. They do that. And of course, Lexi's like. She's like, I'm actually, like, sweating. So then they all go in the kitchen and everything, and just like, are you guys having fun? She's like, yeah. Everybody's like, really nice. I just wish Bailey were here this weekend. Billy's like, I'm.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

I'm here. Wait, Jesse, are you still making that drink? Oh, my God. He's like, yeah, making a drink. He's like, oh, my God. He's like, do you want vodka or tequila? And Lexi's like, I cry if I have vodka. But I think that maybe it was just a bad date. If I'm gonna be honest, that made me cry. Chemically makes her cry.

[B]

Like, so you got single? But he's like, well, I'm kind of talking back to this guy in the city, but like, you know, that's your suitcase I have, which I didn't realize it. Like, it has a air tag in it. That funny.

[A]

Wait, you're using a guy's suitcase, but you're single? Yeah. Well.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

This is Bailey. Hi. I'm. I'm here too. I just want. I can. I can fill in some of the flavor of this story to really make it pop so you understand it. Like, no, it's okay. We got enough of it. It's like, okay. So then Jesse is like, like, well, I have a lot of extra suitcases if you don't want to commit to this guy, so cheers. Hey, look at me. It's gonna be bad for you.

[B]

Yeah, Cuz Lexi didn't look. So he's like, this is gonna be bad for you. So then Gabby's like, we're gonna do a toast in the living room. So Jesse's like, where's the living room? So they go in there and Paige goes, living room. We do McDonald's in there. That's not the living room. So they go. And Lindsay's nervous and she's like, I'm just gonna sit in the living room until everyone else comes. So west is like, so, are you drinking or not? Because I read online that you're like preggers. She goes, yeah, I read the rumors.

[A]

And Wes, she's like, yeah, no. So everyone sits down and Lindsay's like, oh, yeah. Like. And they have a little bit where they talk about how this couch is different. It's difficult for Gabby. And we see a flashback of her falling over it. So now Gabby's like, I just want to say how excited I am to be here again with all of you guys. I've been doing Pilates, and I just want everyone to know that we have a totally unplanned speech from Lindsay right now.

[B]

Okay, I'm going to say a couple of words. All right, so anyway, you know, back.

[A]

When I was born in 1933, times were different then.

[B]

It was the Great Depression. It was hard to find fruit. It's in. In the supermarket. But then came World War II.

[A]

And then it's like the clock is just like spinning and spinning. It's like 7, 7:30, 7:35, 7:45 then.

[B]

We got to the dust bowl and mama said, pull the wagon over. And they're like, oh my God, Lindsay. Jesus Christ. And then I dated the man who invented hamburgers. It was crazy. I thought he was fine, but then he decided to not put pickles on him. And I said, who wants a hamburger without pickles? Guess who won that one? And then I just remember that one date I had with a guy and it was interrupted because we finally landed on the moon. So she goes through every man in her life and we see the. The scenes evidence. When. When you ever made a sandwich for me. And we see all of the. Lindsay's great. I got the taco contract. Oh yeah. Ever you slept with somebody in your bad pl. Night. Well, I'm going to sleep with 10 guys, man. Real man.

[A]

And we saw Pimon. I mean we saw everyone. We saw like just every like it was a like this is your life moment. And so she. She winds about. This is going on for like 20.

[B]

Think about Willie. Damn.

[A]

Here's me with Rob Lowe in 1987.

[B]

So guys, Mickey Mouse was much sexier before they colorized him. But you know who also was sexy too? Mickey Rooney. So unfortunately I was too old for Charlie Chaplin, but he really knew how to play the piano.

[A]

Sometimes I still have debates over which.

[B]

Rooney was my favorite, Mickey or Andy.

[A]

So.

[B]

So he's like the vampire of Summer House who's just been around for hundreds of years.

[A]

Just wait. Is Mickey Rooney. I always get these confused. Is Mickey Rooney. Mick. Wait. Oh wait. Mickey Rooney is from the wrestler, right?

[B]

Mickey Rooney is from. No, Mickey Rooney's from. Isn't he like a full time movie star?

[A]

Oh, Mickey O'Rourke Island. Okay, that's. Okay, that's what I thought. Mickey Rooney is from. Yeah, he was. He was like the short, little cute little old man.

[B]

Chubby growing up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Anyway, the point is. George Burns, am I right?

[A]

So this goes on for a very, very long time. She's really taking a victory lap.

[B]

I was the first one to recast Baron. So they're like, it up, Lindsay. Wrap it up. Laugh it up. Carl goes eight years ago. Oh God, we're going way back. Buckle up, people. We got a lot of ground to cover. So she goes through the whole thing and then she's like. And then came Carl. And then Carl, Carl again. And then he gaslit me and guess what? Now I'm pregnant. And they're like, what? And she has all cheers.

[A]

But it's not just that she's saying she's pregnant. She has taken her sonogram, and she has blown it up onto foam core. Like a presentation. She went. She, like, went to a print shop for this announcement. This is a lot. I'm sorry. This is a little bit over the top.

[B]

Wait a minute. You're pregnant with the Kia? Shut up, Kyle. That's just the branding. The baby's got, like, a little hashtag.

[A]

Kia on it or ultrasound that ships it. You know what? And I love. Everyone is like, oh, my God. And everyone's, like, congratulating her. But Jesse looks horrified. Jesse does. This is somehow very confronting for Jesse. And he just sort of goes into some sort of existential funk. He just starts staring into, like, a void, and his face falls. And I'm like, I don't know what note this is hitting for him, but something is. This. This really hit him hard.

[B]

Well, he's there to party, and he's now with people with babies. You know, I mean, last year it was married people. Now it's people who are pregnant and about to have babies. So he's like, it's just weird. Like, there's a pregnant lady here. I'm concerned about how Carl's gonna feel about Lindsay, like, being pregnant. I mean, God, just yesterday they were talking about having babies. Babies. I just want them to be friends. I don't know if it's possible. So they're asking her how many weeks she's 18 weeks. They're asking if it's a boy or a girl. She's like, I'm not telling anybody yet. I am still in talks with a gender affirming coach who is in talks to sponsor me. So I'll let you know as soon as the money comes through.

[A]

We are in the final stages of.

[B]

A contract with Carvel for the gender.

[A]

Reveals, so we'll just have to wait.

[B]

Carvel. I'm gonna bring in a line of Fudgy the Whale cakes, and each one of them is gonna have a different color in them.

[A]

And you're gonna have to decide, are.

[B]

There more blues or more reds on the inside? You won't know until you bite through the crackle top. So we are in negotiations with Cookie Puss to be part of our gender reveal. So she says that she was pregnant at the reunion, and to prove it, she made a whole video of her pouring out a bottle of Crystal Stall and pouring non alcoholic beverage in there. And I love that she made, like, a whole video of hers. I mean, Lindsay is too much, man. So Gabby's like, wait, she. She didn't have any of that. And she poured it out.

[A]

That's.

[B]

By the way, Crystal was wasted.

[A]

I know. So Wes is like, oh, my God. Because right before she sat down, I go, are you drinking? And so. Because I can't wait to see the bomb, which really has so many meanings on this show.

[B]

So, Lindsay, I know the baby's already had her first. I'm sure that baby's probably. That's a summer house baby. That baby's in there. Like, before we get.

[A]

Before Carl's here, can we see the bump, if you know what I'm saying? So she shows it off, and everyone's like, ah, it's a bump. And then Jesse's like, we're having a baby. We're gonna do a water birth right here, right now. And, yeah. So it's all exciting and everyone's happy. And Jesse looks at the ultrasound.

[B]

They're like, look, this baby has a big ass dick.

[A]

It's like a photo.

[B]

I will say, it does look like the baby's doing a giant shot. Did you notice that it looks like they're pouring, like, a giant shot down the baby's throat?

[A]

No, I don't notice it because I don't understand. Like. Like ultrasounds. I look at them, and to me, it's like looking at, like, the sky. Part of a. Of a Van Gogh, you know? Like, to me, it's all abstract. It's swirls and shapes. I never see anything in it. And people look at it. I'm like, oh, my God, look how cute it is. Maybe, like, once I have a child, which will never happen, but, like, maybe if that. If that happens, I will feel the feels of an ultrasound. But to me, an ultrasound is like looking at outer space and, like, trying to find constellations. And when people are like, oh, my God, look at his. You can see his head. I'm like.

[B]

I just.

[A]

Just see blackness and then, like, a swirl of white. It's like I put creamer into my coffee. That's what an ultrasound looks to me. I don't get anything out of them.

[B]

To me, it looks like popover dough in the oven. You know how when you turn on.

[A]

The light or that. Or that.

[B]

You keep turning on the light and you're like, oh, you're nothing. What's even the point of you? You took all this work, and you're just useless. It's not. You know, it doesn't really matter until you pull it out the other oven covering.

[A]

Yeah. You can't open that oven, which is awesome.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Same principles apply.

[B]

I chose popovers, so. But you know, great.

[A]

And then your life is over. Now you have a child.

[B]

Pass them around when they're here. But until then, I don't want to hear about it.

[A]

So you want the final product. You don't want the waiter to come to your table and say, here's a photo of our popover in progress. You just want the popovers to arrive.

[B]

I don't want to hear about the journey. To me, it's not about the journey at all. The journey sucks. It's about the destination. Otherwise, why would I have made the journey? I hate that. So all about the journey. I'll off. So we go to Lindsay and Gabby and Lindsay's room. And Lindsay's like, let me just call him real quick. She's like, hugh Hefner estate. I'm sorry, wrong number. I've really got to get my dates in order. Cart Gable's estate. No, tell them I'm still. Man.

[A]

You have nerd. And Claire Gable. She really. She's. She's dated them all so forever.

[B]

You guys, I know George Washington. He didn't even have a phone when we met. Now you're not cheap. Now you're not so cheap, you'll get a cell phone off George.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

George Washington Carver. Oh, my bad. By the way, peanut butter, it's still a love it. Favorite version of the thing to put on bread.

[A]

Okay? So don't forget, like, slather the jelly.

[B]

Right on top of the peanut butter. Do not put it on one side of the bread. That's the wrong way. Well, you heard it from here. You heard it from George Washington Carver first.

[A]

Well, we.

[B]

We went right to the source. We.

[A]

We go from straight to the ros. To straight to the source.

[B]

Peanut butter is first.

[A]

And Jillian topic going to George Washington Carver, my ex boyfriend. So Lindsay says that her. Her boyfriend, her new man, his name is Turner. She goes, turner is very private. He's not on social media.

[B]

He's a doctor. And he's, like, nerdy.

[A]

But he also was, like, fun and funny and, like, normal.

[B]

He's like a normie. I found myself a normie, and I love it. Yeah. So then now we go to Paige, and she's like, wow, you know, I'm not ready for kids. Because right when she said she was pregnant, I had the thought where I was like, oh, God, thank God it's not me. Thank God I had a moment where I was like, wow, what a time to be childless.

[A]

God, I can't believe how blindsided Craig was. So now they all sit down to Dinner for their Hibachi and Sierra's like, so she just dropped her pregnancy announcement. So Lindsay has.

[B]

Lindsay literally announced it and then pressed send on her Instagram.

[A]

She told all her sponsors like, okay, here's the order of the activation. I'm going to tell everyone on camera and then I will then press post. So boom, it is.

[B]

This post contains more hashtag fireworks than the hashtag 4th of hashtag July. We are hashtag pregnant.

[A]

Oh, I think we all know that if this, this is a boy, it's going to be named Marshall. Right? Actually, she just had her baby Marshall.

[B]

And TJ and Max.

[A]

Yeah, she just had her baby like last week, right? Or two weeks ago. Very recently. Huh?

[B]

I think she is. I think it's a little longer than that, actually.

[A]

Maybe because she was just on Watch what happens live. So she probably. Let's see, let's say the name of Lindsay.

[B]

Yeah. Because we invited her to come to the crappies and she was. I was like, I know you have a baby, but you know, bring it. So we'll let Dolores hold it. She's just like, is this the same thing that Luke did a few years ago? And we were like, yeah. And then she never wrote us back. So no. I didn't know if that was because Luke had done it or because she was like, oh, it's you dicks.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Actually she gave birth to her daughter on December 8th. I'm like, it's just last week. Like literally last week. She had a baby last week, guys. December 8th. The baby's name is Gemma Britt Koof. And I love. You know what I love about this? I love that Lindsay is like, so I'm gonna have a baby and I'm going to raise it British. So her name is Gemma that she's just gonna insist the baby is British.

[B]

They're like, I don't think he should name your baby Crumpet. All right, tube, tube. Let's do that.

[A]

Like, well, are we sure that just cuz her name is Gemma, does that mean that she's actually going to be a Brit? Fine, I'll make her middle name Brit.

[B]

So no one's confused. She will be British.

[A]

She's forcing a British agenda on her baby. But congratulations. That's amazing.

[B]

So they're lying because this is a sponsored post. I mean, this was a funny post. It's like, look at me. It's like clear blue. I found out I was pregnant on clear blue while eating hashtag 31 flavors. Also Vegemite.am I right? I'm British.

[A]

So she's like, start getting those British deals now. So Jesse Lindsay comes to the table and everything, and they're like, talk about how, oh my God, they're having hibachi in the backyard. So Jesse's like, hey, by the way, Lexi, how long have you been in the city for? She's like, like, on and off for like eight years. She's like, oh, really? Like, when have you been off? Well, I've been like a model since I was like 10, and I moved to Paris when I was like 16. So we see photos of her as a model, but they show the picture of her as like a child model. So she's just like this kid on the lawn.

[B]

Just this kid in big sunglasses laying on. Out on the lawn. So then we find out about Lexi. She's like, I started modeling when I was like 10 or 11. Which is like, crazy because, like, I'm 26 now. Modeling is so intense. Like, it's more intense than people think. Like, when I first went to Paris, my agent sent me a subway map, and they were like, you have a casting. Figure it out. And so I, like, drove on the subway and I just kept, like, driving and driving. I, like, cried so, so much. It's so hard. You guys all right?

[A]

That's pretty cool. So did you finish high school? She's like, yeah, I did homeschool in high school. So I think I did. I. So I did, like, school online. He goes, oh, yeah? You like New York?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, well, Kyle's like, I feel like they're like on a date right now. I feel like, you know, there is a Diplo song that's called Sad Summer Day. You should listen to it, bro.

[B]

How is it that Lexi seems at least 20 years younger than.

[A]

It's so strange.

[B]

How is it? It's so weird because he's like, yeah, hey, little girl. I'm just like, roll up the window of your van and drive away, sir. No one wants your creepy ice cream. It feels like that.

[A]

I don't know why it does, but. But it's totally acceptable. It's acceptable flirting, but it does feel like he's flirting with like, a 16 year old. It's really disarming child for his age.

[B]

So it should work out. I don't really understand what's happening, but it's crazy creepy.

[A]

So unsettling. Not disarming. Disarming is actually charming. It's. It's unsettling. It's an unsettling flirtation. Yeah.

[B]

So they're asking about names and she's like, we have a name that we like, but we're not gonna say it because British people don't say things until it's time. But we are thinking of Big Ben if it's a boy. Or I'm not gonna say, like, whatever her name is gonna be or his.

[A]

Name, but, like, it will rhyme with fate to Middleton. So then. So Sierra's like, well, I don't know, Turner. So I'm just asking questions. Where do we. Where do we meet Turner?

[B]

We met, like, three and a half years ago.

[A]

And it was basically they met, like, in 2020. And then they went on, like, three or four dates. And he called it off, but then he texted in December, and then she was like, no. But then she kind of decided to, like, go on a date with him anyway. And then now. Now they're pregnant together. And by they mean she.

[B]

That's so crazy, because that's when Summer House was airing. So this guy's, like, dating her while that craziness was airing on tv. That's a lot. So Sierra's like, wait, so he just randomly texted you? She's like, yeah. He's like, we should run it back. And I was like, is that a date? So, yeah, I mean, she. She told him no at first because she was busy, but then she did, and there you go. And the hibachi guy interrupts to see who wants which blue balloon hat or whatever. Which. I felt kind of bad for Danielle when they had another balloon guy.

[A]

Oh, that is sad. So Ciara's like, you know, I'm doing the math over here. Breakup in September. Wedding didn't happen in November. December, he reached out July, you know, now she's four and a half months pregnant. You know what? I'm not even over my parents divorce. And that happened 20 years ago. How did she do it so quickly? And then everyone's basically. Basically like, so they. She must have gotten with this guy in January and was pregnant by, like, February or something like that.

[B]

Listen, Lindsay knows what she wants. She was ready. She was willing to settle. It's not like she was ever in love with Carl. Carl and Lindsay were like, well, we're both single. I guess we should do this, you know? So they were, like, willing to settle each other, settle for each other. And she was going to go the distance with that guy until he broke up with her on tv. Even after that disastrous summer, she would have gone through with it just to have the wedding and everything she wanted. So she was like, I'm done. This is What I want. I want a husband and a baby. Let's make it happen. Go. You're out.

[A]

And they say, and they say the more relationships you're in, the. The clearer you see what you want in someone. So. Cuz, you know, I've. I had a friend who dated someone for like, like three or four years, and then it fell apart. And then he dated a new person and got engaged within a year. And I was like, well, how do you know? Like, aren't you scared because like a year into your previous relationship, everything seemed great. And then like by year three, it fell apart. So aren't you nervous to get engaged, engaged after just one year? And he was like, yeah, but like, you learn so much about what you want. You just sort of know. So I think at this point, after having dated Clark Gable and George Washington.

[B]

George Washington Carver, after dating 276 years.

[A]

I think she knows exactly what she wants. She's. It's.

[B]

It is refined, or you just think what you want is a dream and it's not really there and you just are like, let's get it done. I'll make it work. And guess what? I'm willing to get married and I'm also willing to get divorced. Let's do do it. She's going, they're already broken up, so.

[A]

Oh, really? Oh, wow.

[B]

That's the, that's the rumor this week is that they're already broken. Well, so she said something like, we've chosen to go separate ways. But then she had another thing where they were taking the kid to the doctor together for vax. So everyone's like, oh my God, maybe they're back together. So I don't know, who knows? But I'm sure it's Rocky. It's Lindsay, you know, so then she.

[A]

Also dated Rocky.

[B]

The squad squirrel. So they. Then we cut back to Jesse and Lexi, who are still flirting. And Lexi's like, but my horoscope says that I'm gonna eat sushi and I'm gonna like, drink wine and I'm gonna kiss someone, but I also double kiss everybody. So maybe that's what I meant. Here, I'll double kiss you.

[A]

Again. A very specific horoscope. So Jesse's like, well, that was like a horoscope.

[B]

Your horoscope's like, okay, you're gonna kiss somebody, eat sushi, drink wine, poop, maybe clean out the fridge.

[A]

You know, you can have a Diet Coke later. You'll have a few. We'll have two ice cubes. @ a certain point, this the horoscope is just telling you what to do with the day. And then it's like, see, I was right. So he's like. She's like, so would you just. Would you describe yourself as Disney ditzy? And she's like. She's like, excuse you. Like, her face totally drops. It's like, would you. It's like, that was just a question.

[B]

She's like, no.

[A]

He goes. And he's like, well, I mean, did you. Did you take the act?

[B]

She's like, that smells act. So who's dizzy now?

[A]

Yes, I am a model actor, but I don't get what you're. What you're getting at. He's like, well, I just don't know you enough. That's it. She's like, I'm just like, free and.

[B]

Fun loving and we stress out all week at work. So, like, why would I stress out on the weekends? I'm not dizzy.

[A]

He's like, no, I decide. I just asking a question. And it turns out this is part of his game, which is that he is essentially. This is a fancy way of him saying he likes to nag people because he's like, one thing with me is if I'm interested, I'll find out where your line is and I'll teeter on it and I'll cross a little bit and then I'll cheat majorly. And, like, I like to feel people out. You're nagging. You're trying to make her feel bad about herself so that way she somehow, like, more attracted to you.

[B]

Well, yeah, you'll see how much you can. How much you can give to somebody that they'll actually take. So if they can take enough of your. Then they're. They're worthy, I guess so. He's like, yeah, I don't know you well enough yet. I was just trying to find out, like, I take it back about you being ditzy. She's like, oh, don't worry. I already forgot about it. Yeah. Smoking hot girl wants to put me in my place. That's so attractive. Like, look how she just put me in my place. Could we roll the tape? I think she's the one. I think she's.

[A]

My horoscope said I was gonna put a guy in his place today. So Amanda is. She's like, he like. And Jesse doesn't even realize that we're here. Kyle, you just lost your best friend. And Wes is like, yeah. He's like, I'm moving out. So now everyone finishes dinner and some.

[B]

Of them are going to be Going out. And some of them are going to be staying home. Lindsay obviously stays home. And about of the girls stay home. But Gabby goes out with the boys. It looks like Gabby goes out with the boys. And then we get Lexi and Bailey. The wild adventures of Lexi and Bailey doing just totally non stereotypical things. Oh my God, it's a bug. Like the show is trying to kill me. I know. This show is trying to put me in an early grave. Why?

[A]

And Amanda, Amanda, Page and Sierra are hanging out in a. Amanda's like, so what do you guys think about Lexi and Bailey? And Paige is like so cute. And Sarah's like, yeah. Which is their code for saying like hate them. Why are they on our show?

[B]

Hag. I hate her so much. So then late at night, Kyle comes in and he's like, oh no, it's not late at night. He's like, hey, should I go or am I gonna annoy you guys if I go? Well, Kyle, you just have to come home with the first car. Promise. And Paige goes, and please leave the sunglasses here. You represent us all when you're out there.

[A]

So then Ky's like, I just want to give my wife what she needs to be happy. Cuz I'm 41, soon to be 42, which is also the name of a Diplo song. And I need to stop using summer in the Hamptons. This is my big release which.

[B]

Oh yeah, please fell our Stanley's. So then we see a flashback to three summers ago when Amanda's freaking out in the bathroom because Kyle was out all night not calling her back and so she broke all of his the bathroom. So we come back and he's like, yeah, you know, like I'm just like, I'm not gonna go out so late. And I just, I felt like she was always trying to control things, but my actions were really upsetting her. And so now it's about like trying to be a more respectful husband. So now instead of coming home at 4 wasted, I'm gonna come home at 2 wasted.

[A]

Yeah. So the guys, they, they leave and they go out and everything. And then Lexi and Bailey start to clean, which is good because they're new. So they're like, we're gonna, we're gonna make a good impression so we're gonna start to clean things. And that's like talking about the boys and stuff. And Jesse and Lexi's like, we like.

[B]

Like giggle a lot.

[A]

Like tonight he's like, do you describe yourself as ditzy? And like in my head I was like, like, I Want to be able to show you how multifaceted I am.

[B]

I'm not just like a fun loving model. Yeah. Like, don't take advantage of me just because I'm hot and giggly. Is that what you mean? She goes, yeah, because my laugh goes like, yeah, well just cuz I'm like sexy and I can. Hehehe. Doesn't mean I'm stupid. You should tell him that she. Yeah, I'm gonna.

[A]

Coming up next, some of the facets of Lexi's multifaceted personality. Can't wait. He doesn't realize how multifaceted I am so far.

[B]

So she didn't take the act. She's terrified of bugs and she can't figure out subways. So yeah.

[A]

So Paige is like, wow, Lindsay being pregnant, like now we're like in a different like thing. And Sierra's like, yeah, we've just entered into adulthood. Oh, gross. Paige is like, I think in my younger years I had like very rose colored glasses on and you know, I was like, oh, then you get a job and then get married, then you have a baby. And then we cut to like her first season where she was like, I want to get a job and then get married and have a baby. And she's like, but you know, I used to, I also used to think go to the tanning bed and you know, you grow up and you learn things. And Craig and Craig and I.

[B]

How Paige judges her own maturity. She's like, I don't go to tanning beds anymore. So I'm basically a dame.

[A]

You know, I used to wear sky tops. We've all, we all make mistakes.

[B]

I've got Jane James, Dame Judy Dance in a year. So then everybody's going to bed early, which is kind of sad because now you've got like competition in the house. So I thought they'd kind of overcompensate, be like, well, let's party harder. We're not old, but they're not, they're like that. We're going to bed. If this is our last paycheck, we will take it gladly while we're sleeping. So then we cut to Bailey just flip flopping on her bed going, it is so bouncy.

[A]

She was possessed. I think like Loki. We need to like talk about the fact that she needs an actual exorcism. She wasn't just like bouncing, she was like there was some demonic possession in her that was causing her body to flop around that bed like a fish out of water. I was like, what is happening to Bailey over Here. Is anyone paying attention to her? Like, she was gonna spend the entire season vomiting and her headset spinning around in circles and coming down staircases on her hands and. And feet. And people are just still going to ignore her. It's like, where's Bailey? I think she's, like, threw up in the corner.

[B]

Yeah. It's her youth. My body wouldn't move like that if you electrocuted me. Like, it would just not do it. I was so impressed. So then the guys come home. Kyle gets home first, and then they all start kind of filing in, and they're still talking about Lindsay being crazy. And R is like, yeah, it's crazy, you know? So they. Then Kyle, typical Kyle, wasted, comes home in bed, and Kyle, you see Amanda check the time on her phone. He's like, baby, it's only two. As he, like, needs her getting into bed. Yeah.

[A]

No, but he has to wake her up. He has to make a scene about coming to bed so that way she can look at the clock. And he gets credit for coming home at 2 instead of 4. So, you know, he. You know, it's like clocking out or clocking in, you know, like, if you don't do it, you're not going to get your hours. Yeah. So everyone's coming back drunk, except for Gabby, by the way.

[B]

And she comes home at 8:24 in the morning. 8:24. Gabby comes home and she's like, this summer, I just feel like if I don't want to sleep in this house and there's someone on the roster who's 30 minutes away, I'm going, that's it. And he's not American, because Americans are trash.

[A]

So, yeah. Servant wakes up, and Jesse's like, I wish Lexi were here. But I was like, you're sick. Sick. He's like, you're great, though. I followed lexi at, like, 4 in the morning on. On Instagram. He's like, really? What if her bio just said Jesse's girlfriend? He's like, huh? Yeah. Hey, should we go wake up Lexi and Bailey? Wouldn't that be so fun? He's like, who's Bailey? I don't know. I just. The name came into my head. But maybe they're awake.

[B]

It's like, bro, we're supposed to have bro summer. He's like, wow.

[A]

I just.

[B]

I'm here for you, bro, but I'm in love with her. So then they decide to have their first dunk, so they go jump in the pool together. And then everybody's gathering downstairs for breakfast, and they're like, the ultrasound's still on the mantle and Carl hasn't come in yet. But of course no one takes it down.

[A]

They're like, yeah, it'll be great. Gentle with Carl Hall. So Lindsay's excited to get like. She's. She's like, I need one last moment in a two piece. So she's getting into a bikini and stuff and you know, her bump is showing and Gabby's like, oh my God. Like, you know, you know, enjoying it. Etc. So the group is outside.

[B]

Branded. She's already branded her pregnancy on Instagram hubcub. So she's like, oh my God, I can't wait for a little hub come. They're like, yeah, little hub cub. Oh my God, baby, for sake.

[A]

I'm sorry. Hubcap is way too close to hubcap. I'm giving birth to a hubcap.

[B]

That's what? No, that's when the baby asked for a raise in its allowance. I'm sorry. Cup cap.

[A]

Sarah's like, I can't wait to see Lindsay in a little pregnancy swimsuit. Oh, my God.

[B]

I know. Oh my God.

[A]

It'll be hilarious. So then west is lounging around with Kyle and Jesse and Wes is like, guys, I think that if we all left the club separately within five minutes of each other last night, I think that was like, pretty cool because, like, yeah, I just ripped the cord. I was like, I don't care that Diplo's playing. I'm going at 2 to be with Amanda. And Jesse's like, I think that's like a good way for like, you to like, go out with the boys all summer and not get in trouble with your wife. What? Like going out, getting normal drunk, and coming back at a normal closing time.

[B]

It's so funny that now he's like the best husband of all time. Like, wow, you really did it. You. You really did it, buddy. So now Jesse's just like, guys, look at her. Look at her sitting over there.

[A]

Isn't she hot?

[B]

She's the most gorgeous woman I've ever. Like, bro, we can only see her ass. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, bro. It's supposed to be. Bro, Summer, please stop falling in love. He's like, but I'm in love.

[A]

I can't help it. He really is. He's like, it's just. I think I love her. I think I'm. Kyle's like, yo, like, are you gonna like, drop the album? But before the week, before the end of the weekend, he's like, well, you know the crazy Thing is that she seems like. She seems like an amazing person, man. She apparently has facets that I'm so. I'm so excited to see it. It's like, choose your own adventure. I love her.

[B]

You've got a young, fresh, gorgeous, sweet person who only wants whatever you say she wants. I'm sure you do like her. I'm sure you do. Men. I can't.

[A]

She's amazing.

[B]

Jeez. He's like, yeah, she got confused on a subway one time in Paris. I'm in love.

[A]

She's from Canada. She's sick. Toronto. It's like, so multifaceted.

[B]

So then Lindsay comes out in her suit, and the guy's like, whoa, she really is pregnant. Kyle goes, yeah, not hiding that. Damn. Geez. So then we're at the pool and they're talking about Lindsay's big boobs and stuff. And Kyle's like, well, Carl's gonna be here. Like, I think we're gonna do a little boy's day out maybe. And Lindsay goes, oh, what about coming? Carl is coming and he's freaking out. Carl is already having a freak out. Carl looks more Quakery than he's ever looked. He looks like he drove up in a wagon. Like, he looks extreme. He looks like he's going to start taping people's mouths because they're cursing. So he comes in, he's like, I don't know about this. I'm nervous about seeing her. Like, I don't know how to operate in there. And the producer are like, oh, come on. There's no guide book, Carl. You're feeling confused. It's totally normal. All we're going to do is follow you around with these cameras and then edit this in a way to completely humiliate you again so you'll not only live it now, you'll live it for the rest of your lives. Well, you're not getting paid for reruns on Bravo. Have fun.

[A]

No, you don't understand. It's like, so hard. Like, you know, do you know how many text messages I've gotten the last 24 hours? Hours? It's like, pretty funny, like, actually reading what people say. Like, she's been, like, pregnant for the last six months and hiding it from the world because she knows how crazy it would look if everybody knew she was pregnant. I don't think it looks crazy. I think we're past that. Like, we're past that moment in time. I would hope that. That we would be, like, thinking, it looks crazy that someone got pregnant on their own terms. You know, while they were single and doing what they wanted to do, like, that's okay. She didn't get pregnant while she was dating you. She moved on. She was like, I'm. I'm not gonna let this derail me from my dreams of being a mother. And so she went. She found a guy. She got pregnant. Like, I think we actually are cheering her on.

[B]

Yeah. But I can see how the ex boyfriend who was going to get married to her is a little bit like, oh, my God, now I'm gonna spend a whole summer with Lindsay. This is crazy. And she's already pregnant. We just broke up. Oh, but you can't complain when you took that sweater back and then you see someone walk out of. Marshall's wearing the sweater. Okay, you were the one who took it back. Sorry. I don't feel bad for you. I do.

[A]

Like, and while he's also making it sound so malicious, like, she's been, like, pregnant for six months and hiding it from the world. Not hiding it from the world. She was setting up a sponsorship, okay?

[B]

She. She was waiting for the ratings. Carl, it's called doing her job, okay?

[A]

She's saving it for the show. So he's like. So I pull up Instagram and I learned that Lindsay has a no surprise pregnancy. And I had, like, my suspicions. You know, a part of me is, like, really happy for her because, like, that's what she always wanted. Like me with brick and mortar. But as someone who is just still, like, taking time to, like, heal and process and get rid of some of the resentment I have towards her, I don't know, I'll just say to her, oh, poor Carl. He's just trying to heal from the damage that he caused her.

[B]

Yeah, whatever. I mean, I know that they were in a relationship. I get that he's hurting, but the Carl all constantly being in pain and a little boy who needs to be. Be sewn up is old. It's old, okay? And it's enough. So. And also you. No one's forcing you back here. You're. You're back here on another drunken summer that's going to stress you out to get your paycheck, which I understand. Like, I understand that you want your check, but you can't come into the house and then be mad at who's going to be there. That's what the show is. Go home if you can't take it. Okay?

[A]

Yeah, don't play the healing card. Don't play the I'm just trying to heal card while you sign yourself up. For another season of reality tv, which is probably the worst thing anyone could do for their mental health.

[B]

Yeah, you don't want to melt. Don't spread yourself on toast. Butter. Okay, so now, of course, yeah. Hot toast. Yeah. So. Well, who would say cold toast popover.

[A]

Well, toast could have. You made the toast and it sat out for a while.

[B]

No.

[A]

And now it's room temperature.

[B]

Bad toast. That's a bad. Maybe that's why people don't use the phrase so pop over. Now they're gonna go meet Carl because Carl is literally freaking out. Okay. Carl goes to the bathroom and he's like, put your weight on me. Put your weight on me. You look good, by the way. You look good by the way. You look good by the way. Soft, soft. Softness and tenderness. Softness look great, by the way. Done.

[A]

So, so Jesse introduces Carl to. He's like, introduce you to the love of my life. So he's like, hey, nice to meet you. And then, you know, he goes outside the pool and, you know, he's saying hi to everyone and Carl's just like. And they're like, carl. Oh, I see. That was the end of the episode. Sorry ended it with that part. That was it. I was like, it ended about toast.

[B]

You're like, but wait a minute. Sometimes toast is cold. I'm gonna prove it. I'm gonna make a piece of toast and leave it out. Show that motherfucker.

[A]

So the truth is the episode ended and I went back and just re ended it. It's over again.

[B]

That was my fault because, you know, there's so much like, hi, hi. Hi. It's Summer House and it's a super sized. Just was like, okay, what really happened here? Carl had a nervous breakdown and then came out and now it's the end of the episode. Dun dun.

[A]

I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I thought it was fun. I think it's really, you know, the, the. The vibe is right on the show. So I'm excited to see what happens.

[B]

I'm. I'm terrified for the children.

[A]

Very scared for them.

[B]

Yeah, all of them. The baby, all of them. The literal fetus. All of them. But I'm excited, you know. Yeah, I guess to see what happen. And it's definitely good to have Summer House back. Oh, there was a little clip in the coming this season on Summer house where we see a six months later with Page and she's like, oh, really? And Craig is just letting people accusing. Accuse me of cheating on him. And I was like, bro, I saw you texting. I caught you texting two girls while we were together, it's like D D. So I'm glad that they're starting to at least turn the narrative a little bit on that one. Cuz that one's been making me crazy online. Craig's whole like, oh, I was blindsided. His whole online. So I'm glad to see them kind of turning the key on that. Turning the screw. Turning the screw. No, not turning the screw. That's upping the tension. Turning the page.

[A]

No, that's hopping the over.

[B]

I'm glad to see them chilling the toast on that one.

[A]

Yeah. Everyone, thank you so much for being here. We'll figure it out by the end. By the end of this week we won't.

[B]

I guarantee this. We'll be dumber next week.

[A]

Well, we're watching Bravo, so that's just what happens. Sorry. So speaking of which, we got some. We got Southern charm coming up later this week. So looking forward to talking about that one. Everyone, thanks so much for being here and we'll catch you in the next episode.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

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