#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens Episode #2741 Title: Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: February 25, 2025

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Overview

In Episode #2741 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the second part of their two-part recap of Below Deck Down Under Season 3, Episode 4, titled "No Excuses, Brah." This episode offers an engaging and humorous analysis of the latest happenings aboard the yacht, highlighting character dynamics, pivotal events, and the underlying tensions that define the crew's interactions.

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Episode Recap

1. Navigating Romantic Entanglements

The episode centers around the evolving romantic relationships among the crew members. Ben and Ronnie discuss Vyon’s laid-back reaction to Harry successfully asking out Brianna, juxtaposing it with typical Below Deck dynamics where hierarchy often complicates such advances.

• Ben highlights Vyon's demeanor:

  "He's chill about it. He's not insecure... he doesn't unravel." (04:31)

Harry's attempt to balance his professional responsibilities with personal interests takes center stage as he navigates his high school sweetheart Brianna's expectations for a sweet Below Deck-style date.

2. Serena's Struggles and Leadership Pressures

Serena faces mounting pressure adapting to her role as a solo chef after a fallout with a sous chef. Ben and Ronnie empathize with her stress, particularly when Captain Jason intervenes with pragmatic solutions that fail to alleviate her anxiety.

• Ronnie reflects on Serena’s stress:

  "She's losing her mind." (07:10)

3. The Tip Meeting and Eric's Departing Wisdom

A significant moment in the episode is the tip meeting, where Captain Jason addresses the loss of a crew member and emphasizes teamwork. The departure of Eric brings forth his misguided attempts to offer life advice, which Ben and Ronnie critique humorously.

• Ben dissects Eric's advice on controlling men:

  "You need external value validation... otherwise your entire worldview will collapse." (10:18)

4. Love Interests and Unfortunate Encounters

Romantic tensions escalate as kisses are exchanged and miscommunications ensue. Zarina and Vyon develop a mutual attraction, while Johnny's awkward striptease attempt leaves both hosts and listeners cringing.

• Ben comments on Johnny’s attempt:

  "He just wipes his hairy ass on her face. That's some crazy right there." (31:25)

5. Preparing for Departure

As the yacht prepares to dock, crew members deal with personal conflicts and upcoming challenges. The impending drop-off day brings tension, particularly for Serena, who struggles with her responsibilities and personal relationships.

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Hosts' Commentary and Insights

Ben and Ronnie infuse their recap with sharp wit and candid observations, offering listeners both amusement and thoughtful critique of the show's developments.

1. Character Analysis

• Ben on Vyon’s “big dick energy”:

  "He's not insecure about... getting the model on the boat, he's like, fine, great." (04:50)

• Ronnie on Serena’s workload:

  "She’s just lost her mind trying to balance everything." (07:48)

2. Humorous Critiques

The hosts frequently poke fun at character decisions and on-screen antics, such as Johnny’s questionable behavior and Harry’s overly simplistic date plans.

• Ronnie mocks Harry’s date idea:

  "You’re gonna go get a soda shop. I’m gonna get a little ice cream." (07:57)

• Ben on Johnny’s striptease:

  "That was really, really bad." (31:51)

3. Social Commentary

Ben and Ronnie also delve into broader themes, discussing societal expectations and gender dynamics, particularly in the context of leadership and emotional expression.

• Ben on alpha males:

  "We need to be an alpha male... touch my arm." (11:07)

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Notable Quotes

Throughout the episode, several standout quotes encapsulate the hosts' perspectives and humor:

• Ben:

  "If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages." (00:14)
  (Advertisement Segment)

• Ronnie:

  "I missed out on also, like, wanting to bang everybody on the boat." (04:50)

• Ben:

  "You don’t have to miss her face. You can just watch Southern Charm and Sienna." (33:44)

• Ronnie:

  "They didn't send me any. Thanks a lot, Jenny." (39:57)
  (Discussion on Ice Cream Preferences)

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Conclusion

Episode #2741 of Watch What Crappens offers a comprehensive and entertaining recap of Below Deck Down Under S03E04, blending detailed plot analysis with the hosts' signature humor and insightful commentary. Ben and Ronnie successfully highlight the complexities of the crew's relationships and the challenges they face, all while keeping listeners engaged and amused. Whether you're a fan of Below Deck or new to the series, this episode provides a delightful deep dive into the high-stakes world of yachting reality TV.

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Note: This summary intentionally excludes advertisement segments and non-content portions of the transcript to focus on the core discussion and analysis presented by the hosts.

Transcript

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

[Ronnie]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one, guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay, it's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.

[Ben]

So Harry goes into Vyon's cab and he's like, so I just asked Brian out on a date and she said yes. And they like high five. Which is funny because beyond really. Viana's being very chill about the fact that he really wanted to go after Brianna. And now his underling has. Has stolen Brianna. As is rightfully he is. As he has. As not do he has. It's not a. Not a proprietary thing, but I'm saying that in other, other below decks, people would take the stance of like, she was mine and I'm the boss. She belongs to me first the picking order, bro. And Vyon's just like, gary, guess I lost.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And not only that, but he also got stuck with Harry in his room and now the other room is just Johnny. So he could move. He should move him back to the other room again.

[Ben]

Yeah, he should. Because now Vyon has to just sit here and listen to Harry talk about how Harry kissed the girl that Vyon liked. But you know what, though? I think this actually in an episod where we're talking about testosterone list, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I think this actually speaks of big dick energy from Von, because he's chill about it. He's. He is not unwrap. He's. He doesn't unravel. He's not insecure about it. He's not like, his identity is not wrapped up and being able to get the model on the boat, he's like, fine, great.

[Ronnie]

I missed out on also, like, wanting to bang everybody on the boat. Which is what we find out in his next monologue. He's like, well, I thought I had chemistry with Bri, but, you know, Harry ended that experiment for me. What? However, I'm still looking for love. You know, Serena's awesome. We're having fun. Like, who doesn't like attention? I love. I love. That's such a guy thing. Like, well, he's giving me attention. She's giving me attention, so I like her. And then they make a little Marina, a little heart with Serena, and then Marina. Marina and Serena. Wow. Never really noticed that. So he also likes her because she's very forward and she can really appreciate a scuba diving trip. So that turns him on. And also, how can you not like a Brazilian? I mean, Adair, I mean, she's hot, you know, she's spunky. She's used to being covered in mud. Who doesn't love that? You know? And Laura, sure, her eyebrows are a little askew, but otherwise, she's like a. She's like a Barbie put together with a potato head, you know, who doesn't want to fuck that. So he's, like, in love with everybody on the boat, so he doesn't care.

[Ben]

He really is. He. He's, you know, always looking for an open port. Oh, what's that? No, is there a lady in there? I hear a lady talking. I know. It's not. There's not. Like, is your phone.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God, it's my watch. Shut the up.

[Ben]

What's your.

[Ronnie]

It was playing a commercial from the writer's panel podcast. What a creep. That creeped me the hell out. And I looked down and it's only Bueller there. And I was like, finally Bueller's talking to me. This is the end.

[Ben]

Your task. Rabbit arrived. It's like, surprise. Sorry, my hot brother was. Was ill today. So here I am, a lady who you definitely want to fuck. Right?

[Ronnie]

I'm like, sorry, Sorry, Ben, but there is somebody standing downstairs holding a boombox up and playing something romantic. Gotta go. My TaskRabbit's here.

[Ben]

I would love it if that's how TaskRabbits arrived. So now everyone goes to bed. And now people wake up, it's the next day, and Zarina is in the kitchen and she drops a giant pan on the floor. And I was like, wow, I'm sure the sound department really appreciated all that in their headphones right now.

[Ronnie]

I was like, oh, God, Serena, you're such a grumpy cut. Fitness today. And then Captain comes in and he just looks down and goes, good morning. Ah, protein bowls. She's like, yeah, do you want one? He Goes no. He's like disgusted with the protein balls.

[Ben]

He's like, so I think I. I think that we want to be starting to haul. So pick up anchor by 11 and. And so Vion's like, okay, sure, Harry can drive the tenders, yada, yada yada. And so Harry is then checking in on Brian, asking if she slept well. And he's like, I'm planning the date. It's in my head, oh, we're gonna go on a date. She's like, you are? He's like, yeah, I'll. I'll let you know. And I have a plan. She's like, I'm so excited. Like, literally, please don't subject us to their date. My least favorite thing on Below deck, A sweet below deck date.

[Ronnie]

I literally thought when I saw this, I was like, let me guess, you're gonna go to an ice cream shop. Because it. Doesn't that sound so like, Harry, like, I'm gonna. I've got a date. We're going to a soda shop. I'm gonna get a little ice cream. Then after that maybe we'll play a little ski ball or something like that. Oh, it just seems very hairy. And that is what they do. They go get some ice. Yeah, I called it.

[Ben]

Yeah. And it's just as boring as you can imagine. So then beyond meanwhile asking a D if she's excited, like, what for to tonight, going out with the, with the group. And she's like, yeah, there are a lot of outfits I want to wear that I can't wear because my belly's so pale and like, you know. Yeah. Cuz my belly's pale compared to the rest of my body. So I can't show off my belly. But it's either that or wearing the mud boat uniform. So I don't know what I'm going to do tonight.

[Ronnie]

So now they are on deck and Vion's talking about who likes who. And he thinks Adair liked Anthony. And Harry's like, well, who's she gonna fancy now? And Beyond's like, I don't know. She's definitely my type. But they're all kind of my type in a way. I can find something about everybody. So then we cut to the table and the guest, Eric, is like, yeah, let me tell you guys. When have the power to control men if they just knew a few little secrets. Now let me tell you. I need you to tell me. I'm the man every day, number one. Number two, touch me non sexually every day. And I need you to fuck me Regularly. That's all you need to do. Then, then you can totally control just that.

[Ben]

Just that I need you. I need to deal with your fragility every single day by saying that you're the man. Because you don't have enough self esteem to arrive to that conclusion on your own. So you need external value validation for me. Because otherwise your entire worldview will collapse. Okay? Got it. Number two, you need me to touch you non sexually every day, but also very sexually every day. Got it. So you just want to be touched. You just want to be and touched every single day. Okay, so you're basically needy and alone in this world and without some sort of physical or. Or emotional connection, you are just gonna crumble because you don't have enough. You don't have enough confidence in yourself to just forge forward like a true wolf and just shut the up and do what you have to do to get your money and get food on the table. Got it.

[Ronnie]

Number one, tell me my hair looks real. Number two, tell me it looks like I naturally don't grow hair on my back. And number three, tell me my face doesn't look like a baseball glove. The end. Yeah, let me come all over you. Sounds easy.

[Ben]

Here are the three secrets to. Here's the three secrets to secrets that women can use to control men. First of all, serve lattes that are 30 calories or less. Second of all, me after the latte. Third of all, second latte, please. But it has to be zero calories. I already used my 30 calories up in the first one. That's it.

[Ronnie]

So Laura's listening to this because she's behind the bar and she's like, what? He's like, yeah. And you come home with a list of. I'll do it. But don't start with that. Start with support like this.

[Ben]

Hand.

[Ronnie]

Touch my arm. Arm, Doc. Yeah, bro, instantly. Touch it. Touch it. Touch it, bro. Touch my hand.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah.

[Ronnie]

Oh, God. They just came on my pants. Oh, my God. You want me to do the laundry? I'll do it. Yeah, touch me, bro.

[Ben]

Guys, we live in a society full of beta men, Snowflakes, that are all like emotions. Emotions, okay? Those bros. We need to be an alpha male. An alpha male who, when confronted with some things that he may need to do, says, I can't hear that right now. It's too much for me. Come on, touch my arm instead. Touch my arm.

[Ronnie]

Time.

[Ben]

That's what a real alpha does.

[Ronnie]

What a douchebag. And can we just have one meal? Can your poor friends have one meal? We're not trying to sell your self help. My God. So Laura's like, yeah, I've met people like Eric before and they're my ex boyfriends for a reason. Most likely because they couldn't stop looking at me kind of cross eyed trying to figure my eyebrows out and then left. I didn't like him either. So you know what?

[Ben]

God. I just want to add one more thing. Men have a connection to women that shows love through sex. Yeah. Well, I'm sure this guy has a lot of self love too. So now it's drop off day. So everyone's excited about that. To get this out of you.

[Ronnie]

Like men really? Men really show their emotions through sex. No, they don't. Men could goats like men. Men can anything get the out of here.

[Ben]

Yeah. Those words will and will be used against you because when you inevitably cheat on your woman and you say no meant nothing. It was just like whatever. It didn't mean anything. You're on camera saying when you it's because you love someone you're showing love through. So congratulations. You just condemned yourself for all future cheating excuses. Well, whatever I'm trying to say, you.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I got you. I gotcha. He's backing himself into a corner for sure.

[Ben]

Thank you. Much better.

[Ronnie]

So then they finally get to drop off these fucking losers. So Serena's talking to the captain about crew lunch. She's like, what did you want for crew lunch? And he's like, nothing. You've got all this food left over. And she's like, well, we've got to eat something for the night out. I mean, last time they'd sat down and hadn't, hadn't even had a proper lunch. I mean it's a lot for them. It's a lot of work. I've got to make them food. He's like, then just put this food out there. I mean make them some wraps with it. And she's like, we don't have wraps. Lady is trying to make this easier on you.

[Ben]

Yeah. And he's like, well, this is lunch. And she goes, is it? Yeah. I mean just turn this into a brunch. It's fine. It's all breakfast food. She goes, really? And Jason's like, I generally under, you know, I generally know Zarina cares for the crew. And to me to say, don't feed them, that's fine. That's against what she would want to do. But she's just had that problem with the sous chef, didn't work out. So we can spot ourselves with the food that's there. There's. There's enough food there. We're not gonna stop. And basically, he tells Lara, like, yeah, we're just. We'll just have this brunch food after. After the tip meeting or whatever, or we'll have it early. Like, this is gonna be the food that you're gonna have, and you'll eat dinner later tonight. And so Lara's like, okay, so we're looking brunch, whatever, but Zarina is, like, losing her mind.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So then the guests or Johnny is cleaning. You know, they're cleaning, whatever. So Lara checks on Serena later, and she's like, oh, my God. Jason's just pissing me off. I mean, I've just done breakfast. Now I have to add on to it by nothing with this food. What is she complaining about? He didn't ask her to do anything extra. He asked her to do less.

[Ben]

Yeah. She's like, I don't know. I think she's just in a spiral. And she's like, I mean, so I have to make this other breakfast, and now, like, stuff's gonna get cold. And now he wants me to do more stuff. And on top of that, you know, Vian is just, like, in love with me, so I have to deal with that. And Stats get a lot of pressure on me. I'm just like, the whole reason why we do it. After the tip meeting, she starts going on and on and on about. And she. And he's right there in the next room over, and she's going on and on and on. And finally he just walks in and he's like, all right, what's the. What's the problem, Serena? Do. Do you want a kimono? What's. What's. What's going on here? I'll save you cooking in preparation after the meeting. And, you know, I'm more than happy to have you cook again. Do you see what I'm trying to say? I'm trying to save you from having to cook more. She's like, oh. She starts to cry like a scolded daughter.

[Ronnie]

And he tells us, don't stop picking a fight with me. I'm on your side. I'm here to support you, make your job easier. I've come up with solution. You don' like it, then don't listen to it. You know, Is this the way it's going to be all season? I'm not going to put up with it, I'll tell you that. Oh, no. So then it just cuts to Serena still crying in the kitchen.

[Ben]

She's Like.

[Ronnie]

I have to make too much, but I can't make anything.

[Ben]

So then Lara's consoling her, and Serena's like, yeah, it's just hard trying to get used to being a solo chef again. I'm still really in my head around that and getting my head around it. It just didn't need Jason fighting on top of it. Just, I put so much pressure on myself that I just get into my head about it, and I just think after being bullied and put down and let down, I kind of do it to myself now. My own biggest villain, you know? That's why I don't like to put spoons out there. You only get smacked on the head with a spoon so many times in your life that you don't want to put into a bowl for people, you know? So Captain Jason's like, all right, everyone, time to dock or whatever. So they. They go and they. They dock. They. They. Oh, God.

[Ronnie]

Thank God we get some more wisdom from Eric before he leaves. He's like, you know what' if you fast for three days and you eat, like, five tic tacs, your veins pop out of your arms like you're the Hulk. Look at my veins. You didn't fast for three days. What the are you talking about? We've watched you eat.

[Ben]

Yeah. And I don't think the veins are popping because of the tic tacs.

[Ronnie]

This is steroids.

[Ben]

Yeah. Yeah, man. Intermittent fasting followed by a tick tock ticked tic tac breakfast.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Does amazing things of your vascularity, bro.

[Ronnie]

All right, so now they have to dock the boat. And he's like, all right, just wanted to say good call on that marine pier up there on my port side. Nice job, deck crew. And Vion's like, copy that. I'll keep my audiobook down.

[Ben]

So the guests say goodbye and everything, and Eric has this really important goodbye speech. He goes, oh, man, you guys are such a gift. I mean, there's not one toxic trait in this crew. I'm like, literally, okay, you're not. So this is how I know you're. You're. You're a charlatan because you cannot be on below deck without being full of toxic traits. So the fact that you didn't pick up on all the toxic traits swirling around you shows that you're a fraud. But he goes, you guys are incredible. You got. You're going to inspire the world. This is for you guys, my toxic, traitless friends. So he hands it off, and then he goes. Then Eric goes to his car with his friends, he goes, one of the best exit speeches on earth just happened. They all loved it.

[Ronnie]

Wait till I tell Tebow about this. The only way this could have been better is if I had a screened with starving children in Africa above me while I said it. God damn it, I'm good.

[Ben]

God, I'm great. So everyone's clean. Everyone cleans up children in Africa.

[Ronnie]

Once I gave them three tick tocks. You should have seen their veins.

[Ben]

You should have seen. So now it's time for the tip meeting. Everyone goes to tip meeting. There's no disco helmet. This. This time he goes, well, we lost a crew member and we'll do our best to get a substitute. And you'll probably be doing the next title by yourself at that spawn's arena. And whether the dick's a man not down or thumb down, we're going to move around to support each other because that's what we're here to do.

[Ronnie]

So basically sworn he was going to give that to Serena. I thought he was going to be like, well, Anthony's not here, but you're the department head, so you have to wear it, Serena. But I think he just wanted to avoid the tears.

[Ben]

Yeah. So he basically was like, yeah, this helmet belongs to Anthony. And then he's like, all right, the tip was $22,000. And we're gonna take Anthony's tape. Everyone's like, personally, for these guys to talk somewhat. This guy talks so much about success to be. And it was a two day charter. Yada, yada, yada.

[Ronnie]

I don't know.

[Ben]

I personally thought it should have been $25,000 for tip, not $22,000. So honestly, this guy, you can talk about being an alpha male all you want, but you certainly tips like a beta male.

[Ronnie]

But he left them nuggets of wisdom which are priceless. You know what I mean? Say the dragon.

[Ben]

The dragon man.

[Ronnie]

So now we on is passing Serena's room and she's shirtless, but she's wearing this like pink bra with diamond straps. And he's like, what are you doing? And she's like, yeah, it's because all my other ones are dirty. And I haven't got around a washing arm, so, you know, sniffing her armpits. She's like, yeah, you know, I just wear my party lingerie when I'm cooking now. And he's like. She's like, yeah, I've got him. Got him hooked.

[Ben]

I don't know how anyone could look at VR and not be attracted to him. Obviously I have a type manly short, muscly guy. So I'm hoping I could get to know him a bit better. And we see pictures of like, Culver that didn't work out so well. So she's like, I reckon I've got another day in this one. This bra, would you like to spend on my lady musk? He's like, all right, very nice, very nice. So people are gonna go, are gonna go out and everything, and they're talking about hair and like, oh, you look good. Etc. And Marina's saying that she has a crush on beyond. And she's like, you know, he's handsome, he's a nice guy and I want to get to know him a little bit more, but I demand a lot and maybe he's got what it takes.

[Ronnie]

I demand much. Scuba.

[Ben]

Scuba for grandpa commercials.

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[Ronnie]

We're gonna try another one.

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[Ronnie]

So now they go eat and Marina is like. So they're, they're all saying bon appetit. And Marina's like, well, how do you say bon appetit in your own language? You all speak English. Do it.

[Ben]

And goes, dig in, dig in.

[Ronnie]

That's how we say in English. So then Harry is offering a prawn to Brianna because they're in love. And she's like, I don't think so. I've never had one of those.

[Ben]

It's like, really? It's like, have. You've never had a prawn? You haven't been to South Africa, have you? And she's like, no. So she tries a prawn and she likes it. So the chemistry is off the charts.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's huge. Like, listen, the man who gives you your first prawn, I mean, come on. So Zarina has dated a few South Africans and she's like, but she's telling this divan. And she's like, but I've only been cheated on by South Africans, so it's a bit of a soft spot for me. And he goes, don't worry, I'm half Dutch. I cheat on you, but I'm on time. Sorry, that's Swiss people. What are Dutch people known for? I cheat on you, but I get very chocolate after.

[Ben]

I'm always on time.

[Ronnie]

I.

[Ben]

It's funny that he is half Dutch because I can totally see him wearing one of those like old timey Dutch hats, you know, in the paintings, you know, I'm talking about. Yeah, little buckles. And he's like, actually, now that I. He Is so. He is so baroque, period. If you think if you really look at Vyond, like, look at like a baroque Dutch painting, like, and some leader hose in like with that hat, like wearing those hat, those bit. That big swoopy hat. And then like the white like frilly thing here, I could totally see Vyon like that. That is really the era that he should be in.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So we go back to my favorite storyline. Brianna trying a prawn. And she's like, oh, that's actually really good. He's like, I told you my children are gonna love them. She's like, oh my God, do you think it's gonna talk to me about feeding me that prawn?

[Ben]

If we kiss and we have prawns in our mouth, does it still count as a kiss or is it the prawns are kissing? I don't know. There's just like so many things racing through my head. So Johnny, meanwhile, has a story. She, he shows Marina a photo of him with his grandfather. He's like, he's Johnny. I'm Johnny.

[Ronnie]

She goes, oh, I do it at every dinner.

[Ben]

Who doesn't do that?

[Ronnie]

Who doesn't just whip out a picture of their grandfather at dinner? Like, oh, look, my grandfather. Oh, that's great.

[Ben]

He's Johnny. I'm Johnny. My father, he had affairs. So my mother sent him off when I was five years old. But growing up, I used to hate my father. And then he tried to bring us back into his life and I'm friends with him. He's not my father though. He's not Johnny. I'm John. Grandfather Johnny.

[Ronnie]

He's just another Johnny. Just another John. So. So Marina's like, so he's not your father figure? And he's like, no, my mother is both father and mother. Where's her picture then?

[Ben]

My mother, Johnny. So he's like, my mother is definitely a get done person. My brother and I, she raised us crazy boys. She was cleaning, she was cooking. I was floating up in the middle of the ocean because I got lost one time. But she was doing two or three jobs. Now she's 62 and she has six back. Yeah, I got that from her. Definitely. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

She must have been going to Eric's stash. She's like, no excuses, Johnny. No excuses, Johnny slay dragon.

[Ben]

Marina's like, for me, family is my priority in life. It's like, yes, tell me about your Johnny. So now everyone leaves.

[Ronnie]

Okay, so we just gotta stop the car for a second because casting. Hi. So this is now another deck crew. Who comes from a parent that loves him. Are you even working over there, Shelly? Anybody over there? Okay, go ahead.

[Ben]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's a bit of a problem. So they're back on the boat. Zarina hugs Vian in the. In like the. She hugs him. And Zarina's like, so, what's going on? Like, is this real? Is this real? And he picks her up and she's like, am I heavy? He's like, no. And they're just being very flirty and physical, you know? And then Marina and Adair decide to go to bed while everyone else goes up to the hot tub. And they are in the hot tub, which Harry is sitting in. Harry, what are you doing in that hot tub with your. With your. Your thumb? Keep your thumb away from the water. It's a gremlin, okay? But they play truth or dare.

[Ronnie]

You got time to tub, you got time to scrub, boy.

[Ben]

That's right.

[Ronnie]

Take a nap. Only to get your leaky in the hot tub.

[Ben]

So they're going to play truth or dare. And Zarina's dare is really lame. She says, okay, Harry, run over there, and I want you to scream I'm a hero. Off the back of the boat. So he goes and does that, and it's like, fine.

[Ronnie]

And Laura doesn't like truth or dare, mostly because she's an adult. And she's like, yeah. You know, I hate this game because it could lead to sticky situations, literally, and awkward conversations. I just don't want to be part.

[Ben]

Of that, you know? Well, learn.

[Ronnie]

I played truth or dare, and someone dared me to do my own eyebrows with a Sharpie. Now look at me. You know, it's never gonna leave me alone.

[Ben]

Also, Lara is building her own. She's, like, renovating a barn in the English countryside that she just wants to live there with a bunch of dogs and not speak to people. And I think that once you decide on that path in life, you re. You basically forfeit your. Your truth or dare card. You're like, sorry, I am no longer allowed to play this game because I've decided I'm going to renovate a barn in the English countryside. So fortunately, that. No more truth or dare for me, Hunter, dare is no longer part of my life story. I'm renovating a barn in the English countryside. It doesn't. The two things don't work. You can't do both those things. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And by the way, Vyon and Harry are both wearing matching Speedos. Why are they wearing matching Speedos? So he does it he screams, I'm a hero. And Lara's like, yes, yes, you are, Harry, my little giraffe hero. So now, Harry.

[Ben]

What I just said baby giraffe. Just. Yes, anding.

[Ronnie]

Well, I'm a little baby giraffe. So now Harry's like, okay, my turn. Beyond. Talk to this girl over here about our kiss. Tell her I enjoyed it.

[Ben]

So he dares beyond to kiss Zarina. And then they kiss. And it's hot. And Serena is like, you know, obviously horned up. I mean, who wouldn't be? Vyond is really hot. I feel like I'm. Every week I'm appreciating more and more that Vyon's really hot. And so then, like, oh, my God, it was hot. So Lara's like, okay, Johnny, truth or dare? And he's like, dare? Wait, are you talking to me or my grandfather? No, you Johnny. Okay, there.

[Ronnie]

I'm sorry, which Johnny? Hero Johnny or other hero Johnny like you right now? Do a sexy strip dance on Serena. By the way, Serena said after that she was, oh, I'm over the moon. That that was our first kiss. So that means that there's going to be other kisses. So Serena's like, he's mine now, you know?

[Ben]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

So now Johnny has to strip over her and do a striptease. And he does the weirdest fucking striptease. He goes. He stands above her and then wipes his hairy ass on her face. That's some crazy right there. I've never seen that. And I'm gay.

[Ben]

I thought he was gonna be better at this because they showed it in the coming up and we see him do this, but they edit it in the coming up where it looks, like, really sexy. And I was like. I was already getting excited. I was like, I can't wait for this trip to you. Oh, this lap dance. Because, like, I was like, I can. I started to imagine, like, Johnny. I can actually sort of see him doing, like, a really, like, sexy thing. And then when he actually did it, I was like, oh, no. He just. That was the editing that gave him a little bit of an assist there. It was really, really bad.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And Vian's like, oh. He's like chanting Tatum. That is chanting taintum. He's wiping his taint all over her face. That's disgusting. And then he just starts throwing chanting. They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Ben]

Yeah, Channing inked him. Yeah. So, yeah. So everyone said, everyone goes to sleep. And while this is all happen, they keep cutting to. To Marina asleep Cuz it's like, oh look, you snooze, you lose. Yeah. So they're. They're all going to their rooms and Lara's like, oh, Zarina, he kissed you. She was like, oh my God, it was so nice. His lips are perfect. I want them all over my body right now. So Zarina is falling for him, obviously.

[Ronnie]

And Von tells Harry she was a good kisser too. So now everybody goes to bed. And then Captain Jason does some yoga on the deck. Well, I guess someone isn't really into SEAL. You know, SEAL revolutionary videos on YouTube. Like Captain Glenn. I mean, yeah, I need more content from Jason. I'm just saying. I don't know why I'm disappointed in Jason today. I just am.

[Ben]

So then Harry goes over to him and goes. He's like, hey, Jason, I've got a favor. Could you tell Brie about the kiss I had with her? I just don't really feel like having the conversation. Also, I've asked Brianna out on a date. He's like, okay, well, haven't we been down this road before? We see a flashback to Margot last. Last year. Being like, you're not seriously looking for relationship, are you, Harry? Because I'm not. I mean, I'm just not sexually attracted to you in any sort of way whatsoever. I don't know how else to say. Say that to you.

[Ronnie]

I miss Margot's face. Whenever Harry was flirting with, he'd be like, hello Margo. And she'd be like.

[Ben]

Why?

[Ronnie]

Like the next strain of like. So back. Back.

[Ben]

I'm about to say, you don't have to miss her face. You can just watch Southern Charm and Sienna.

[Ronnie]

Oh yeah, the cringe, just utter cringe. So Harry is like, oh, you know, don't worry. This time it's too. It's reciprocal. And he's like, well, good. That's good to hear, mate. All right, good. Got a bit mojo do. You've got my blessing. May the force be with you, my friend. May the force be with you. That's a nerdy thing to say, right? Do you understand that? My speaking your language? Very good.

[Ben]

So then Vyon comes into the galley while Zarina's prepping and she's like, that's so weird kissing you yesterday. She's like being flirty and he's like, yeah, you're a good kisser. That's good to know. You have the most beautiful lips. I think I've ever. That have ever touched my. You know, I think I have a little bit of a crush on Viana. I really want to get to know his personality. And, you know, I haven't had a meaningful relationship in years, and he's just a really, really good kisser. I'm so excited that our relationship is definitely a relationship and going forward, it's just wonderful.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Once I wipe the ass hairs off of my face, I could really savor that kiss. So then Brianna and Marina are cleaning their room. Cleaning rooms. And talking about the jacuzzi session. And Briana's like, well, Dion and Zarina kissed, and they talked about it. She's basically preg. And Marina's like, no way. Come on. But he took me to the scuba dive. And she's like, yeah, they were playing.

[Ben]

Truth or dare, but everyone knows if you go to scuba dive, you're basically married. So she says, the Latina in me is like, bitch, how dare you? We don't. But then again, we don't have anything together. But how dare you?

[Ronnie]

So now it's 20, 21 hours until charter, and we go to Captain Jason and Harry in the break room, talking about cloth, like, what he's going to wear on his date. And he's like, do you need to borrow some clothes, mate? He's like, I've got a salmon shirt because that's coral. He goes, it's salmon. And he's like, yeah, that's coral. All right. I'm a kimono king. Do you want to have a look? Let me. Let me just show you some clothes. And he tells us. I wouldn't say Harry's got the best style. I mean, he's going out on a date with a model. He's got to pick his game up. Linen. Linen is the key.

[Ben]

The linen did look good on him, though, because, you know, Harry would have worn some sort of, like, you know, khaki short shorts or. So they put it. Put him in some nice linen duds, and he's like, it's what? Dad's a fool. You know? And then Harry, like, he puts it on everything, and he's. And Harry's telling people he's wearing Jason's pants and everything. And then so he meets up with Rihanna, and she's like, oh, my God, I like this color on you. Are we gonna talk about colors or. Okay, how are we talking about colors? First we're kissing. I'm just, like, really confused. Are we gonna have this conversation or not?

[Ronnie]

It's salmon.

[Ben]

You mean coral Short semen.

[Ronnie]

So it's raining, but he's prepared with a umbrella. And it's, like, so romantic. So they go on their date. And then Zarina and Johnny are talking about, you know, how her back hurts and stuff. And so he gives her a massage, and she's like, thank you. That's so good. Tell me that on. What did she say to him? I guess it's later. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Okay, so first we go to Marina. She's talking to Van at the coffee bar. And Van's like, well, you should have come. We had a lot of fun yesterday in the hot tub. And she's like, oh, really? Well, I was tired. And he was like, you missed out. He goes, oh, well, I didn't know you were having such great time. Huh? How was the great time that you were having?

[Ben]

And he's like, oh, she's a good kisser. And she goes, yeah, I'll have to try it out. He's like, oh, what's that? She goes, what? And he's like, well, you. You should have come last night. And she goes, well, what are you doing tonight? Because, well, I'm. I'm gonna work out. And then she's like, of course you will. And then meanwhile, the massage.

[Ronnie]

Nothing says he wants you like, I'm working out. Yeah, can't wait to make out with you. What are you doing in five minutes? Push ups.

[Ben]

Wow. So Zarina. So now the massage is still happening downstairs. And Zarina's like, you could tell me that I'm a strong, independent woman and I've got this. Could you tell me that? And he's like, you're a strong, independent woman. You've got this mother. What? I mean, Zarina, now lie down while.

[Ronnie]

I sit on your face. She's like, okay, it's enough of that. We're not playing truth or dare right now.

[Ben]

Please.

[Ronnie]

I'm planning some soups. So then back at the coffee with a fork.

[Ben]

Fork only seems. Don't get. Don't get it into your head.

[Ronnie]

So Marina invites Vihan to the bar to get some iced tea and chill. So he's like, okay. And she goes, it's a date. And he's like, oh, geez. So then we go to the Real date and ice cream shop. Oh, my God. And Brianna's like, oh, I want some ice cream. Let me see. What's the best seller?

[Ben]

Do you have prawn ice cream? I just started to eat those. They're like, no. So that's not.

[Ronnie]

I can't even take that as a joke because there are places that probably would serve that now. Like, that.

[Ben]

I once had lobster ice cream, and it was. You didn't it was bad.

[Ronnie]

I had.

[Ben]

I was like, cheese ice cream.

[Ronnie]

I think it, like salt and straw or something. And I was like, no, no, no, no.

[Ben]

I am like, when it comes to funky flavors. So, like, I. It just doesn't always work out. There's some. Some places that can do it well, like Jenny's. Jenny's does the funky flavor really well. Like, have you had their pancake? Jenny's has. They have like a. Like a maple syrup and pancake ice cream. And that's sounds amazing.

[Ronnie]

Well, that's.

[Ben]

I've been eating that.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that sounds amazing.

[Ben]

Yes. And then they also have like a. There's some. They just. There was just some amazing one that they. That they sent me that was really good.

[Ronnie]

Oh, guess what? They didn't send me any. Thanks a lot, Jenny.

[Ben]

I'm on the Jenny's list now. There's gonna be all sorts of cool flavors now.

[Ronnie]

Whatever.

[Ben]

But they. They do good ones. Salt straw does their. Their funky flavors. Okay. But some places try to be really cute and clever, and they just. Just like, let. Just let Jenny's and salt and straw do it. Because I got real hungry the other.

[Ronnie]

Day eating ice cream. I ordered two kinds and I ate them both. Chocolate chip and regular chocolate chip.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Ronnie]

They were amazing. I was like, whoa, this is crazy. Chocolate chip and me chocolate chip nuts. It was chocolate chips over here, and it was delicious.

[Ben]

You should definitely try out the. The pancake. The pancake one. And Judy, our friend Judy, she says she's turning into a commercial for Jennies. I swear, it's not supposed to be, but she had. Apparently Jenny's also has, like, a blueberry pancake ice cream that she had recently. And she was. She texted me and was like, this is the most amazing thing of all time. So that's my advice. Okay, so back on this unsolicited.

[Ronnie]

So he. She gets coconut and he gets strawberry. Very important. And she's like, my family owns an ice cream shop. Oh.

[Ben]

And now we're on an ice cream date. Wow, the chemistry again. Off the charts. So he tries to feed her ice cream, but then he gets the ice cream on her nose. He's like, I'm sorry. That's because I can't use my thumb. I did it on purpose so that. So that. So I can do that. And then he touches her nose. So what do you think about yachting? Prawns? Anything? And she's like, well, I wasn't. I wasn't. I got into yachting because I was in Aruba and I was Bartending and then I got introduced to the captain, and he was like, I love your personality, and I want you to come on my boat tomorrow. And, you know, I thought, nothing safer than just going on a boat with a stranger. So here I am.

[Ronnie]

Hot to be a model. God, just how shit happens. Like, I was just bartending and someone said, you should come on my super yacht. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it totally happens to the rest of us every day, Brianna. So he's like, wow, beer. Well, I've sailed since I was six because my parents sailed and I was a sailing instructor. I was, like, 12, and I was teaching little kids how to sail.

[Ben]

That's incredible. I always wanted to be a marine biologist. That has nothing to do with sailing. But I just want to tell you about myself. Maybe that's why I'm getting my master's in. Well, I'm going to get my master's in marine biology. Well, yeah, that would help. If you. If you always wanted to be a marine biologist, it probably would be helpful to pursue an advanced degree in marine biology. She's like, that's why I got an MFA in dance. To become a marine biologist. No, no, no.

[Ronnie]

I just want to feed dolphins ice cream.

[Ben]

And. And that's why I went to school to become an electrician. She's really putting two and two together.

[Ronnie]

Model dreams. So back on the boat, people are doing work and stuff. And meanwhile, Harry gets to hold hands with his thumb on one hand. So they're, like, into each other. She thinks he's, like, super sharing and caring. And she's like, I've never seen anything like it in my life. Oh, I just haven't feel Gettys giddy since my ex. I mean, he just makes me feel so special. And he's doing it not inside New Jersey, which is a huge plus.

[Ben]

So they come back to the boat, and they walk into the galley, and Serena's like, so, how was your date? Just want to hear what worked? What didn't work. So on my future date with Von, I'll know what to look out for. And he's like, oh, she's beautiful. So genuine and so all happy. Meanwhile, the other day, Marina, she's. She. Or at the bar, I should say. It's not even on a date yet. They're just upstairs because this episode is never ending. Marina is talking to Brianna about going on a date with Von and how Marina basically says, I asked them out and that they're going to be going to a bar. So now they get ready and they go off to. To. They go off to the bar, and Von and. And Marina are ordering drinks. They're ordering negronis and stuff like that, and. And being flirtatious. And he's like, oh, I'm so glad you asked me to come. And she's like, well, I didn't want to make things weird to be. To be completely honest. He's like, w. It's not weird at all. I love this. This is wonderful.

[Ronnie]

And she's like, but you took me scuba diving, so get over here.

[Ben]

And they make the bracelet. She makes. She made him a bracelet of some sort, like a Taylor Swift friendship bracelet. She gives it to him, and then they. Yeah, they make out.

[Ronnie]

It says bezos. It's to celebrate the best party in Salt Lake City of the year. She's like, oh, got it. So then it cuts back to, you know, so she's. She's with him. So of course, it keeps cutting back to Serena going, where is everyone? Is anyone here still? And she finds out that they went on a pool day. And guess who tells her. Messy ass Harry, of course.

[Ben]

Yep.

[Ronnie]

She's like, yes. They season. They own on a pool day. A pool ball date. And she's like, what? And she looks upset, and he's like, wait, what's the date? Did I get that wrong? Whoops. So then we cut back to them making out, and then Serena goes to her room all upset. She's like, my brain is cooked. I can't do this tonight. And she goes into her room and she slams the door and she goes backstabbing.

[Ben]

Are they roommates or. No? No, they're not roommates. I think Marina's with the dare. So. Yeah, once again, Zarina, just when she starts to like a guy. Last season it was Culver, and now the season is beyond. He gets. He winds up going off with someone else.

[Ronnie]

Gosh. Always a sea chef, never the Seth, which doesn't really work in this, but still. All right, everybody, thanks so much for being here. I don't know why this was a two parter. I don't know. I don't. I don't really have.

[Ben]

Nothing happened. But you know what, though? Sometimes in life you gotta have a two parter because it takes one man to do two parts. That's right. Alpha man, bro. No excuses, Ronnie. It's a two parter, and that's just the way it is.

[Ronnie]

All right, everybody, Great times. Sure. Love you. Thanks for being here. Go to watch what crappens.com for show dates and ticket links for our live show. And if you want these on videos and you want trader bonus episodes ago. Look at Ben just yawning and wiping his face.

[Ben]

That took a lot out of me. I was like, two dates on one two. Because it felt like the show should have ended. It felt like the show should have ended. After the tip meeting, they all went out and then it's like, oh, wait, the show is still going. And we had not only one, we had two dates. I mean, I enjoyed the episode, but just recapping it, I was like, this is still going. This is crazy.

[Ronnie]

It was a long ride. All right, everybody. Well, thanks for being here. We'll talk to you next time.

[Ben]

Time. Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King Our.

[Ronnie]

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Your hands together for Carly Clapp. Catherine D. Bernardo has our hearto get.

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We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns.

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She'S our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

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Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manock's door She's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock, Kristen.

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[Ronnie]

From us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Leno fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.

[Ben]

Berg this is living with Michelle Vivian.

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She'S VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get.

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Get real with Caitlin O'Neal don't get.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Know your worth With Jason Kurth we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Junie, my Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley, we're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron, she's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy, always killing.

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It It's Lola Alkalani the incredible edible Matthew Sisters she eases our woes It's Melissa St. Rose Give him hell Ms.

[Ben]

Noel she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, let's take off with Tamla playing She.

[Ronnie]

Ain'T no shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.