#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget

Summary

Watch What Crappens
Episode #2742: RHOBH S1413 Part One – Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
Release Date: February 26, 2025

In this episode of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive deep into the latest drama from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (RHOBH) Season 13, Episode 15, titled "Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget." True to their style, Ben and Ronnie blend sharp wit with insightful commentary, delivering a comprehensive and entertaining recap for both avid fans and newcomers alike.

---

1. Karen Hauer’s Sentencing

[03:34] The episode kicks off with mock news coverage of Karen Hauer's sentencing for her ongoing drunk driving case. Ben and Ronnie satirize her courtroom appearances, highlighting her eccentric defenses and theatrical demeanor.

• Ben: "Karen was sentenced to two years in prison, with one year suspended and five years of probation. Crazy, crazy stuff."
  [04:14]

• Ronnie: "Karen Huger was back in a Montgomery county circuit court... I only took them because my dear parents have left this world. And I'm so sorry that Fred Flintstone has done this to me."
  [05:05]

The hosts humorously dissect Karen's plea, mocking her blending of personal anecdotes with legal defenses.

---

2. Reddit’s Purple Panda Pants Reporting Live

[05:48] Ben introduces a parody of a Reddit user, "Purple Panda Pants," who humorously reports live from the courthouse. This segment lampoons the fervent online communities that form around reality TV show events.

• Ben: "Purple Panda Pants is my new hero."
  [09:03]

Ronnie adds to the jest by envisioning Purple Panda Pants as an over-the-top reporter amidst the courtroom chaos.

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3. Predictions on Karen Hauer’s Time Away

[09:21] The duo speculates on Karen's absence from RHOBH, debating whether she will return as a transformed individual or if her glamorous prison stint will be more of a comedic setup.

• Ben: "She's gonna come back stronger than ever. She's gonna have a huge hero story coming back."
  [10:49]

• Ronnie: "I can't see Karen as a changed and broken woman. That's what I see."
  [10:49]

Their playful banter underscores the unpredictability of reality TV personas.

---

4. RHOBH Season 13 Episode 15: "Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget"

[12:29] Transitioning to the main content, Ben and Ronnie delve into the episode's plotlines, focusing on lavish lifestyles clashing with budget constraints.

a. The Caviar Caspia Event

[14:08] The hosts discuss the high-society event at Caviar Caspia, highlighting Jennifer Tilly's over-the-top involvement.

• Ronnie: "She's looking fabulous. She's got sunglasses on. I love Jennifer Tilly."
  [18:32]

They mock the show's portrayal of luxury, especially the fusion of expensive caviar with mundane items like baked potatoes.

• Ben: "She makes a five wick shank... it's toilet paper rolled up."
  [11:21]

b. Cast Dynamics and Conflicts

[21:07] The conversation shifts to the interpersonal drama among the cast members, particularly focusing on Sutton and her tumultuous interactions with Dorit.

• Ronnie: "Sutton is one of those few people who can be totally unhinged because it's just her."
  [32:33]

They analyze Sutton's volatility, attributing it to personal struggles and casting it as both a flaw and a source of entertainment.

c. Kyle’s Personal Life

[38:20] Ben and Ronnie explore Kyle's relationship woes, including her separation and the public relations battle that accompanies it.

• Ben: "She's got a really hot girlfriend and kicked her husband out."
  [39:15]

• Ronnie: "Don't hold out hope that he'll come back. Move on and live your best life."
  [46:04]

Their candid take on Kyle's situation adds depth to the conversation, balancing humor with genuine commentary.

---

5. Hosts’ Analysis and Humor

Throughout the episode, Ben and Ronnie intersperse their recap with sharp humor and critical analysis. They riff on the show's dialogue, character decisions, and the often absurd merging of luxury with everyday scenarios.

• Ben: "I don't like fish eggs. They look like poop. People glamorize nasty fish poop."
  [24:38]

• Ronnie: "Quiet luxury. Exhausting quiet luxury."
  [55:38]

These quips not only entertain but also offer a satirical perspective on the opulent lifestyles depicted in RHOBH.

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6. Notable Quotes

• Ben Mandelker: "That's RocketMoney.com Wondery RocketMoney.com Wondery thank you to our partner."
  [01:53]

• Ronnie Karam: "Watch what happens. Watch what crafts. Who cares what happens when we know what crap is?"
  [02:53]

• Ben Mandelker: "Jennifer Tilly shows up looking fabulous. She's just a little diva."
  [18:32]

• Ronnie Karam: "I love Sutton just being totally unhinged because it's just her."
  [32:33]

---

7. Conclusion and What’s Next

As Watch What Crappens wraps up Part One of their recap, Ben and Ronnie tease the continuation in Part Two, promising to delve further into the episode's events and provide more of their signature humor and insights.

• Ronnie: "We have not seen anything from Jennifer Tilly, and we've been wondering, where's Jennifer Tilly?"
  [17:07]

• Ben: "This the end of part one. Thank you so much for listening. Just come back a little later for part two."
  [57:22]

Listeners are left anticipating the next installment, eager to hear more about the glamorous yet chaotic lives of the RHOBH cast through the hosts' entertaining lens.

---

Support & Additional Content:
For exclusive episodes, video recaps, and access to the Discord server, listeners can support Watch What Crappens on Patreon. Bonus content is also available on the Wondery app and Wondery+.

Transcript

[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

Watch what happens. Watch what crafts. Who cares what happens when this know what crap is? Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on y old bravs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hi, Ben, you gorgeous man.

[Ronnie Karam]

Hi, Ronnie, you gorgeous man.

[Ben Mandelker]

How's life with you?

[Ronnie Karam]

It's fantastic. Just enjoying another sunny day in Southern California. Enjoy. You know, just having a nice easy day of nothing but.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. News break. Alexia News Network. Welcome to the Alexia News Work Network. Oh, well, you know, Peter. Guys, huge news. Karen Huger has been sentenced to prison.

[Ronnie Karam]

Wow. A family of mourners has just arrived. They've gathered outside the courthouse.

[Ben Mandelker]

Guys, that's old Blue Eyes the driver over there, sobbing, bless his heart.

[Ronnie Karam]

Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah, Karen was sentenced to two years in prison, which is crazy, with one year suspended and I think five years of probation. Is that what I read in here? Crazy, crazy stuff. Karen Hugo was back in a Montgomery county circ circuit court. This is from People magazine's Dave Quinn, Wednesday, February 26, where she was officially sentenced to two years in prison with one year suspended for her ongoing drunk driving case. We have clips from Karen arguing her case in the court today. Well, I was only. Flintstones vitamins are very, very addictive. And I only took them because my dear parents have left this world. And I'm so sorry that Fred Flintstone has done this to me. Please gel Fred Flintstone, Big pharma.

[Ronnie Karam]

Your honor, I would like to appeal to the court and to the jury and say that I am innocent and it is the median that should be investigated, you know, and I will not rest. I understand. I have to do my civil service and I will go to jail like so many martyrs before me. But when I get out of this facility, I will spend every waking minute wondering who was the median that did this to me and how can we stop it from doing it to other people.

[Ben Mandelker]

When I got out of that cop car and I said, I am lit, it was because the camera was on me and there was a light on it and I was thanking the kind police officer for lighting me. Now, when are we going to get tests for deer running into the street. Who's alcohol testing the deer?

[Ronnie Karam]

When I, when the officer, the kind officer asked me to say the Alphabet backwards, well, of course I didn't do that correctly because it is, as an artist, it is up for me to interpret what an Alphabet even is. And I refuse to be jailed for having autistic integrity.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah, this was crazy. That's a long time to be in jail. People were saying it was going to be like six months tops. And so when people say six months, I thought, oh, she'll probably get like a month, you know. But no, she got six months and someone on Reddit, I mean, she got two years and someone on Reddit named Purple. Wait, Purple Panda Pants. Purple Panda Pants on Reddit went to the courtroom. Now I love a sloppy ass, messy, Bravo viewer. Going to the courtroom to cover this shit on Reddit.

[Ronnie Karam]

And by the way, their icon is Archie. I believe their, their avatar is Archie. So the best is that it's like Archie is. Archie is like at the courthouse giving updates on what has happened.

[Ben Mandelker]

Archie, who's already been the through the ringer, you know what I mean? Shannon Beador's drunk driving, and he was actually walking through the streets because Shannon had pretended that she was walking her dog Archie at the time of clipping the house. So it's fitting that Archie is now reporting from the courthouse.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's.

[Ben Mandelker]

He' he's hardened, he's experienced.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes. So we have. So Purple Panda Pants is at the courthouse. And you know this because they have like a little headline with everything that they post saying, karen sentencing, I'm at the court. So first.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's like your tagline on Reddit. You can come up with your own tagline.

[Ronnie Karam]

My tagline is that's my housewives tagline, karen sentencing. I'm at the court.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she was updating this whole time. So you have to scroll down a little bit to see where she started, because obviously this goes backwards. 11:29am but basically a bunch of people, you know, the judge comes in and the. She says, the judge seems a little bit lost. Both sides sent sentencing guidelines or whatever requests. And then we get to judge, read a letter from Morningstar Baptist Church. Read a letter from the director of Rehab B and a statement from mad. Oh, my gosh. Well, I'm Mothers Against Deplorable Discographies as well. I do not appreciate children listening to terrible music either. Set me free.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't know where you are in this. You'll just have to read this because.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, basically, she's just updating as it goes along. Karen was sentenced to two years in jail, one year suspended, has to serve one year in jail, five years probation. And then she says, at 11:29, Karen just got taken away by the sheriff to start. I mean, she started already. I thought that was something. They're like, okay, you better report to jail in a few months. And then maybe she could shoot a couple of scenes. But no, they took her ass right to jail.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Go directly to jail. I personally enjoy. Update. I got yelled at by the judge for live tweeting.

[Ben Mandelker]

So please, please await my next live tweet. Greatness.

[Ronnie Karam]

You're now part of the court record.

[Ben Mandelker]

Purple panda. Purple Panda Pants is my new hero. So it's some friends and family here gathered around her and said, we're praying for you, and you've got this. And she's gone. Apparently, on her way out, she told Ray, you've got this. You've got this, Ray. God will take care of you.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, that's right. I do. I do have this. And I am going to Florida to golf.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm gonna be golfing in Florida. Yes.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, ray has reported. Stupid show.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ray has reported to his recovery center in Florida. The golf. The golf course. So. So. Wow, that's crazy. So we're going to get a year, at least a year without Karen on Potomac, which I know. I know there's bigger things to worry about than my television schedule, but name them.

[Ronnie Karam]

Name them. I think that she will be out. I think she will not serve a full year. She'll be out probably in six months. If not good behavior, I'm sure there'll be a very strongly worded character witness document that will be sent in from the Tally Ho. And I think that it'll be okay. She'll. Maybe she'll, like, transition to house arrest or something like that, but I think it's. It's all very scary. I mean, the truth is this. Whether it's one year or just, like, three nights, Karen Huger in prison. I don't. I just. I. I don't even see how that works. Like, I can't. They said this on the. On the reunion. I don't understand how Karen survives a PR situation. The food, the lack of glam, just everything. I. I don't see Karen. I don't see Karen being. She's coming back a changed and broken woman. That's what I see.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, no. She's gonna come back stronger than ever. She's gonna have A huge hero story coming back. I hope she learns to make ponchos, you know, like Martha Stewart. And she comes back out in the poncho line or some. I think, I think she's gonna do great in prison. I don't think it's like real prison, you know, it's like Karen Huger prison. I think it's going to be like home goods prison where it's like kind.

[Ronnie Karam]

Of maybe, you know, Denver, Connecticut, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I feel like it's going to be nice prison, but I don't know. I have no idea. Because you know why? Because purple panda pants has not told me. So get on it. Purple panda pants. All right, so that's, you know, better.

[Ronnie Karam]

You better get yourself in jail. Do. Do a crime. Do a crime and then get yourself thrown in jail. And then report from inside the jail, please.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's what a real reporter does. That's called going undercover.

[Ben Mandelker]

Karen's making the worst shanks ever. She's like, I made a five wick shank.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's got five blades on it.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's just five weeks. Like, there's nothing even sharp on there. They're like, it's toilet paper that I rolled up started on fire. It's a week. So anyway, welcome to Watch what Crappens, everybody. Today is Real Housewives of Beverly Hills day. But before we start, we're gonna do another 10 minutes. No, just kidding. We're on tour, so go get tickets. In March, we're going to be at Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, Washington and Philly. Get your tickets, links, and other show dates because we're going to be going through May. Get your city over at watch what crappens.com. also, Patreon is where you find videos like this one that we're doing right now. And it's also where you'll find our traders recaps. So go check those out on Patreon. And thank you to everybody who supports over there. Let's get on with some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, shall we be in.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I'm just trying to adjust my mic so I'm, I'm, I'm trying to have an aspirational microphone moment where I. If I raise my mic up higher, I won't slouch in my chair as much because I'll be. I'll have to rise up to the microphone. So don't mind me over here making tons of noise and fiddling around here like the mic is up high. I'm gonna sit. Hi. I'm gonna have really good posture during this entire episode. Because this is an episode that requires good posture. A lot's going on. It starts off with Doritos and Jagger playing basketball at their home court. And Jagger throws the ball through the hoop and Dorit's like, oh, no, I can't grip this ball to save my life, Jaggy. And he's like, stupid mother. And he's like, no, it's just not easy with long nails.

[Ben Mandelker]

So in the long. You know, the tradition. Let me just say, in the tradition of parents who speak well, at least a mother who speaks with a up crazy accent. Jagger speaks with. Did you notice Jagger's accent?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, he's also British. He's very Osborne child. Yeah, Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't think I've ever heard Jagger with an accent because I remember him not having an accent, but I think he went to school and was like, these people. I'm getting five accents. Because now he's like, it's no ho, madam, just quit the blue. I was like, wow, this kid's traveled a lot. He's got. He's got the well traveled accent that his mommy has.

[Ronnie Karam]

I wonder if they're still. I wonder if they're going to school with other children or they still using that classroom in the house. Because if they're not socializing with other kids, then their primary accents are going to be PK and dorit. So they're gonna wind up sounding like they're from, you know, lichtenstein or something.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, okay, Jackie, all right, go out and play with your biscuit ball.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then Garcelle is at some rooftop pool with someone named Stacey Mandelberg, which I was like, hey, was that. Is that my family? And then it's like, no, it's Mandelberg, not Mandel Kerr.

[Ben Mandelker]

And it's very like your old neighbors, the Mandelbergs.

[Ronnie Karam]

Mandelberg. Stacey Mandelberg from Mandelberg films international.

[Ben Mandelker]

So we never had a challenger in the family and the family potato sack race until the Mandelberg's came along. Mandelberg versus Mandelberg. Don't, don't, don't.

[Ronnie Karam]

Stacey Mandelberg is like, all right, everyone, we have a new script coming in. Richard Grieco's attached. We think we can sell one to Paramount. Go.

[Ben Mandelker]

Supposed to be your mom's like, it's supposed to be a potato. Potato sack race. So.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Gar's like, all right, here's what.

[Ben Mandelker]

I. Ruining another potato sack race.

[Ronnie Karam]

Wait, what about the potato sack race?

[Ben Mandelker]

The Mandelbergs, they're Your neighbors, they were trying. They were your first real competition in the neighborhood. The potato sack race.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, they were. It was. I blocked it out because it got bloody.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's that kind of thing. So Garcelle is talking about her new film, Black girl missing part 19. And she's like, well, here's. Here's what I'd like to talk about. The. The opening credits. Here's like, I. I feel like I need one beat because all we really have is a close up of the school, you know, exterior school. So I'm gonna need more than that. Flagpole car parked out front, mailbox with french fries in it. Sounds great. That's it. Print. Print.

[Ronnie Karam]

I've got an idea. Why don't we have a shot of the sign that says HBCU so we know we're at an hbcu. This is why I hire you, Mandelbaum. It's Mandelberg. Whatever.

[Ben Mandelker]

Now listen here, Mrs. Mandelker. You might have lost the last five potato sack races your family entered, but you're good with exteriors.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's Mandelberg. We don't. We don't mention the Mandel Kerr name around these parts.

[Ben Mandelker]

So. Black girl missing, part 19 coming soon. So then we go to Erica's house, and she's on the phone with her mother, and people are unpacking. Flurry of unpacking, you know, very inexpensive things around Erica's house for her remodel. And she's like, you're gonna call my mom because everything's still emotion. Look over here. Just gaze. Gaze in a flurry. All right, you're gonna sleep in the bed with me because I'm not sleeping on my brand new couch. You understand me? Ma? She's like, like, okay, sure. You excited to come?

[Ronnie Karam]

Sure, sure. Looks like a lot of patterns have been installed behind you. It's sort of like vaguely, kind of like some sort of quasi British person's version of India. But sure, I'll come. Thanks, mom.

[Ben Mandelker]

How many mothers get to say they slept in the bed that Armie Hammer threatened to eat their daughter's flesh in?

[Ronnie Karam]

So now we have Trixie Monocle going. All I know is we gonna get it. We gonna kill it off. We do it. We're gon it. We're gonna sleep with it. We're gonna be it. Come on, Paul. Come on. Give me some more verbs that we can do with it. Come on, Paul. We're running out.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just want to leave the audience confused, right? I want to. Just kept talking about doing it, but we're never going to talk about what we're going to do, right? So the audience perplexed. I want Mrs. Mandelker, the potato sack race with the losing medal. Do you understand?

[Ronnie Karam]

I want Pennywise the clown to get mad, be like, stop saying my name. I'll be like, it's not your name anymore. It's my lyrics. So we. The past two weeks or so, two or three weeks, we have not seen anything from Jennifer Tilly. And we've been wondering, where's Jennifer Tilly? So they made up for it with a super, like a super dense Jennifer Tilly episode. Lots of Jennifer Tilly. So she shows up at Caviar Caspia, and she's looking fabulous. She's got sunglasses on. I mean, like, cannot underestimate, cannot, cannot emphasize enough how much I love Jennifer Tilly. And she's like, hello, everyone. Hi. How so? Just call me Miss Glamour. I hear you guys have been. You guys have some ideas for the caviar, so please let me know. You know, Caviar Caspia is like the perfect place to have a party. I love cast, I love caftans, and I love caviar. So I love Caviar Caspia.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they're like, well, our first order of business is how to arrange the tables. I love that she's acting like she's coming in here, planning this whole party. They make a table of straight lines and serve caviar on a baked potato. Okay, that's it. How do we do that?

[Ronnie Karam]

Wait a second. What if we turn the tables over and have all the legs sticking up? No, John. Oh, God. This. Arranging tables is tricky.

[Ben Mandelker]

I thought it would be a really fun opportunity for the girls to put on caftans and lots of jewelry and invitation. I said, think Talitha Gazi. I don't know if anybody knows who that is, but they don't understand castettes like me.

[Ronnie Karam]

You know, first of all, we are going to do a table. Like, put a. Put a bunch of tables close together. That'd be great if you could do that. Thank you so much. I kept the tapes. Oh, yeah, that's wonderful. And like, okay. I'm not really a caviar connoisseur, and I guess this is really crass of me, but I try to order the most expensive caviar on the menu because I figure it's probably the best. Yeah, this is that Simpsons money, by the way. That's Simpsons money.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lots better.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't know what it tastes like, but it's expensive, so whatever.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's Beverly Hills. They're just like, it's expensive. Send it over. Send over the most expensive one you have. It'll be delicious, I'm sure. So I'm looking, you know, I'm sorry I seem distracted, but it's because I'm looking up Talitha Getty and I don't know. I'm gonna look at some images and see if she has a lot of captains.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, my God. She's my favorite one on the Golden Girls.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love on the Golden Girls when she would, like, go into salons and tell people how to redo them.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, my God. I. God, I wish I would have loved to have had Elizabeth Montgomery as my mother.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now she's talking about having a long, cohesive table.

[Ronnie Karam]

Tell the Getty needs to relax. I'm looking at photos of her. Every photo.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's dead. So I would call that pretty relaxed. Okay. Yeah, well, you know, taking an eternal nap. Man.

[Ronnie Karam]

She has a lot of photos of her flopped up against the wall. Like, that's no wonder. Why she's like a captain queen. She is like a human captain. Every photo is her, like, propped up on some structure. Relax.

[Ben Mandelker]

You are so right. You are so right. Like every single thing, she's leaned up against something. Like she's falling down.

[Ronnie Karam]

She looks. It's like if you took like a towel and threw it against the wall. Like that's. She's like, that's my pose.

[Ben Mandelker]

Even when she's holding her baby, she's just like, baby.

[Ronnie Karam]

She is the most floppy person. Rip. But look, I mean, every single photo is her flopped up against something. It's wild.

[Ben Mandelker]

Talitha Getty, the model who made headlines, leaning on things.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's like, it's not even. It's like every. Just like there's like one of her. Like, she has a lot. She has a lot of photos by like, like, like, like stone. Kind of like stone walls or structures.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm showing On Demand video. Look, she's just leaning.

[Ronnie Karam]

Wait, they have. So this is. Wait, this is very exciting because Streamyard has just debuted the ability to share photos. And this is the best. Wait, look at the one there. Wait. Yeah, this one on the right. You can't. Yeah, one over that one.

[Ben Mandelker]

This one.

[Ronnie Karam]

Look at her click it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sitting down, kind of cross legged and leaning. And then her head's also leaning. That's pretty good.

[Ronnie Karam]

She cannot. She is not a freestanding woman. Rip.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

You just have to score a ton of leads and figure out a way to turn them all into customers. Plus manage a dozen channels, write a million blogs, and launch 100 campaigns all at once. When that's done, simply make your socials go viral and bring in record profits. No sweat. Okay, fine, it's a lot of Sweat. But with HubSpot's AI powered marketing tools, launching benchmark breaking campaigns is easier than ever. Get [e-mail] marketers at 24, I lost my narrative.

[Ronnie Karam]

Or rather, it was stolen from me, and the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank, they connected with the people that I'm talking to, and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just told a model after Talitha, the model known for leaning on things. So everybody listens.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, the only thing I don't like are the little orange caviars. They always remind me of the little fish bait and coincidentally I think that the cheapest caviar in the menu. So as long as I order the most caviar, most expensive caviar, I'm actually fine.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just don't like row.

[Ronnie Karam]

This is where Jennifer Tilly and I will diverge because I I'm a caviar slut and I'll eat the cheap stuff. I'll eat the expensive stuff. I love it all.

[Ben Mandelker]

I will eat.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't really love the cheap arm.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't like it. And I'm not going to pretend to you just to sound fancy. I think it's gross. I don't want to eat fish eggs. Have you ever seen them getting caviar out of a fish and just squeezing and just caviar spurting out? I mean it just looks like wow poop. It's like people glamorize nasty fish poop. I'm not into It. I don't like it. I' doing it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Way to really tell the Getty up this moment. Okay. Womp Womp flops the caviar onto the wall.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, caviar. I'm not gonna pretend. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like I would be more like a Jennifer, you know, like. I don't really know, but it sounds fancy. So I had a party about it. So now Sutton comes over to visit. And Sutton, Jennifer has just come back. She tells us that I just got you a cheap thing. I got you a cheap thing from Altamoda. It's just a little thing, you know, so look at it. And sun's like, oh, it's just. Oh, really? Just a little thing from Altamot. I'm sure she's gonna be a little. Oh, well, it is actually just a little thing. It's a little plate. Wow.

[Ronnie Karam]

Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

Thanks.

[Ronnie Karam]

Wow. Is this a. Is this a thimble? Why did you wait?

[Ben Mandelker]

Thimble to chew off a fingernail and place that in this plate. That's all this plate's good for.

[Ronnie Karam]

So I just got back from Sardinia. I was at the Dolce and Gabbana Alta Motta Fashion. We. And so Sutton and I used to go all the time, but we love Dolce and Gabbana guys, and they are. They're just sort of like family for us. And I have a lot of Dolce and Gabbana jewelry, but then I can't pick it up until. Until I get paid off, so I always have a little bit of a layaway plan.

[Ben Mandelker]

Aren't they super problematic, Dolce and Gamana?

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, which. Which fashion person isn't?

[Ben Mandelker]

I think that he's like, we love.

[Ronnie Karam]

Them, you know, I don't know. I think what's. His face was really problematic. The guy. The white haired guy with a ponytail, you know, not Helmut Lang.

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen, the only designer I care about is Olive.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oliver.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, no.

[Ronnie Karam]

Who's that?

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, the best designer in the world. O L B M A B Y. Oh, no, that's the only one I go to, is the only one I trust. And they're not problematic. Except, you know, some people consider making children make their clothes as problematic. But I say put your children to work. Keep them out of the streets. They're litterers.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm sorry, has Talitha Getty ever modeled any of old Nava? Because until she has, I'm not sure if they really count.

[Ben Mandelker]

They're sleepwear, just models on the ground. So Sutton has decided that I need to find me a billionaire. Good Luck, girl, please. I can barely find a tenair. Like, can anybody at least just, like, pay for a Starbucks?

[Ronnie Karam]

I'll get you a Starbucks, Ronnie. Don't you mind?

[Ben Mandelker]

That doesn't count. We ain't.

[Ronnie Karam]

If you just want the free, though. Who cares? You get the. You get the. All the upside.

[Ben Mandelker]

The Starbucks I can. I'm telling you. I'm not getting it, though. Like, getting a Starbucks. I'm not getting anything. So she decided that she deserves a billionaire. And she's like, I'm gonna go for money now. That's what I'm gonna do. And I have my own, you know, But I need to find a man. I need one. He really spoils me. Sutton, you couldn't even find one that shows up more than twice.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, Jennifer Tilly then says, well, I think that would be very nice. Remember when Christian gave you that Cartier bracelet? I was so jealous. And the earrings that you have, too. You. This is my way of reminding you that you were with a billionaire and it was the worst time of your life. Okay, so moving on.

[Ben Mandelker]

And it's funny because when she's saying this, she's looking at Sutton's actual things that she's wearing. She's like, remember that bracelet?

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

And those earrings. But you've got them on right now, actually. I love that. Sutton is like, I'm gonna see. I'm gonna see Jennifer today. I'm gonna wear those earrings. She's jealous of. Suck it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Hold on one second.

[Ben Mandelker]

Most expensive caviar.

[Ronnie Karam]

Hold on. I want to just speak to my mother. Hey, mother, why aren't you proud of me being able to start my own little business? Okay, as I was saying, I need a billionaire to fund this lifestyle.

[Ben Mandelker]

I've had a hemorrhoid that's less painful than you as a daughter. Is that all?

[Ronnie Karam]

Thank you, mother. So son saying. She's like, oh, well, Jennifer, you missed Dorit's fourth of July party. You know, I was reluctant to go, and you seem a bit traumatized. Well, it was a bit traumatic. Ok. Okay, first of all. Yeah, you seem like you have a little bit post traumatic stress syndrome. Yeah, I got it the first time when you said, I seem traumatized. You don't have to elaborate. Okay, so Garcelle sits down and is like, sutton, what are you drinking? And I said, it's the watermelon drink. It's light and refreshing. Which, for the record, was neither light nor was it refreshing, but I was being polite because that's the way my mother raised me, actually, the way My mother raised me to say, this drink sucks, but I learned not to act like my mother, which is sort of like my mother raising me. Anywho, then she goes, garcelle says, is there any alcohol in there? And then she goes. Then we see a flashback of this incriminating moment.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Didn't you ask Sutton what she's drinking? And you asked, is there alcohol in it? She really laughed in 13 accents. She did. So annoying. And I was like, nope, I'm not leaving. I'm leaving. I'm not going. I'm not going to let you perpetuate the myth of some sort of drinking situation. And I'm taking this drink with me. And as I left, I rolled the bar cart out and had Avi carry it home on his back.

[Ronnie Karam]

Now, did I swerve into the door jam five times just trying to get out of the house because I was so wasted? Perhaps. But I still made my point.

[Ben Mandelker]

Not know what I'm saying? I'm gonna go. I am.

[Ronnie Karam]

Did you say gonna go?

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

[Ronnie Karam]

So, by the way, I have to. I'm gonna admit right now, last week, when Dorit said her thing, I didn't understand what joke Dorit was trying to make. Like it didn't. And it was only this week that I realized you didn't get it was being sarcastic, saying, wait, you're asking Sutton what she's drinking and if there's alcohol in it. Like, of course there's alcohol in it. But I didn't get that for a whole week.

[Ben Mandelker]

And so you didn't get it. That was a nine hour recap. What do you think?

[Ronnie Karam]

What do you think?

[Ben Mandelker]

We were talking.

[Ronnie Karam]

You don't have to understand these things just to be silly about them. That's what I've discovered. It's been 13 years. I don't even know what half the shit I'm talking about. I love you. I don't know what I'm talking about.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, yeah, that's what they were talking about. I still don't find it that offensive. I'm sorry. I know people online are, like, going not over it. Like, it's so. I know that it was shitty. And people have pointed out that because of what Sutton has gone through with her dad and his. You know, obviously we went through that last week and that I can see how that would make it darker and someone insinuating. But Sutton's reaction is just so kooky. I mean, to me, it seems like Dorit's, like, almost trying to be your. I don't know, like, trying to joke.

[Ronnie Karam]

Sutton's reaction had nothing to do with. Okay, there may. Maybe some of the groundwork was laid by the fact that she just went to Augusta, but her reaction was solely rooted in the fact that she wa 30 minutes without being greeted downstairs. And then on top of that, Dorit took her. Her bag and then was like, not like, when the joke was over, Dorit still held onto it, and Sutton felt uncomfortable by it. So it was purely. Sutton was just waiting for an opportunity to explode. And that's. And she chose this one. And that's all it was.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, she was already ready to go for Dorit, and Dorit just kept fucking with her. And that waiting 40 minutes. That. That's really shitty. That's shitty. Kind of ignoring you while you talk to Kyle or whatever city. But the, like, you know, and I get that the little. You know, the little barbs. Or whatever, but Sutton's reaction is just so crazy. And granted, I would not suggest you change it, because it's amazing.

[Ronnie Karam]

I love it. Sutton is one of those few people who can be a total, total. And when I like to say one of those few people, it's like. It's like all my favorites. I'm like one of those few people who could be an. And I like it. I'm like, no, I like all. I love Sutton just being totally unhinged because it's just her. She can't control it. She. It just comes bubbling out of her like she can't. She's not producing moment. She just is full of emotion, and I love that.

[Ben Mandelker]

So basically, Dorit's. You know, we see why she's mad because she made this rumor about her, which Kyle did it. Which we'll get to later. But Dorit was perpetuating this rumor and saying this. Sutton's a drinker. She's somebody. I would not be surprised if she pours a little vodka and a coffee in the morning, which wasn't nice to say, but would any of us be surprised if she poured a little vodka in her ear? I wouldn't.

[Ronnie Karam]

No. So Sutton's like, well, I understand what she's doing, and I understand her insinuation completely, and she is not that clever. So Jennifer's like, so what did you say in response? And you're such a Camille. Oh, okay. So then you just left? Well, I didn't just leave. I. I did sort of like plunge right into the kitchen island. I mean, I was seeing all sorts of things. It was a lot. It was a very strong drink. But then I eventually got out of there.

[Ben Mandelker]

The last person who called me a in my own home was an employee. And at least she had the. The decency to do it in ta.

[Ronnie Karam]

Taiwanese T. Taishane. So Tai. So Jennifer asks if Sutton's talk to D. And she's like, no, she. So the first time you're going to see her is at my caviar caftan party. And she's like, yes, at your beautiful caviar caftan party. Say, oh, I guess we'll see how that goes.

[Ben Mandelker]

So we go to Kyle's house, and there's another rot. There's another break in. It is the. It is the treehouse outside. There's been another break in. And Encino, you guys. And it's. It's the. It's the dollhouse.

[Ronnie Karam]

The tree house dollhouse in the backyard. And the doors. Kyle's like, why is this door open?

[Ben Mandelker]

Who went in here?

[Ronnie Karam]

And we see there's like, disarray everything. Here's a bigger question. Why do you still have this thing in your backyard? Your children are, like, 16. What's happening in there?

[Ben Mandelker]

And why is PK cooking a pretend pancake?

[Ronnie Karam]

And why are there so many printouts of memes on the walls?

[Ben Mandelker]

All right. Sorry I left the door open. Yeah, I know you've told me not to do that. Babe.

[Ronnie Karam]

I. This. Honestly, I. I didn't know what I was more annoyed by. The fact that we're seeing another scene of Kyle running after her dogs or the fact that she had this miniature cottage. Like, the cottage, like, really annoyed me. Like, why is this. Why do you have this miniature cottage? Why does this exist on your property? This doesn't make any sense. This is stupid.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, the kids were too old for that even when they moved in, right? Because they haven't lived there since Portia was, like, a little kid. They moved in there when she was a teenager. It's like, portia, let's just go in there.

[Ronnie Karam]

Portia, you know, in a household full of stupid objects, I. E. The neon art in her. In her foyer. This is what. This is probably the stupidest thing on Kyle's property. This stupid cottage. Fucking burn it to the ground around.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she's blaming Storm for it. You know, Storm gets a lot of blame in this family. What does Storm ever do? And then they cut to Storm, and he's just looking at her like, change it. Good luck. Oh, I'm so scared.

[Ronnie Karam]

Storm's like, you won't give me a dog house, but you have a cottage for some invisible child that's gonna come in here someday, grow up.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, sorry, I'm still not jiggy mother. Like peas on the dollhouse.

[Ronnie Karam]

Storm definitely had, like, a melodramatic 1970s movie moment there. Oh, yeah. Like a cigarette knocking everything off the counters of the cottage.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, wait a minute. What. What is. What is my mother's ring doing in here? This was stolen five years ago. Storm's like, God damn. She finally came in here. He's got all of her old stolen Birkins in there. It's been stormed this whole time.

[Ronnie Karam]

It would be very Kyle if, like, all her. All her robbed stuff was just in the backyard in that stupid cottage no one went into because there was never any need for anyone to go into because everyone aged out of it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that. It is kind of creepy to have that back there. So now somebody. And let me tell you, I have. The last Jamie that I saw come to Kyle's house was Jamie Leah Curtis. And she didn't look that excited. Like, she was, like, really trying to work herself up for it. This guy looks miserable, this Jamie. He's like, oh, God, it's. I have to go to Kyle's house today. He's like, hi. He's, like, twitching and, like, scratching. He's like, hey, I was just sleeping in my car. What do you need me for?

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, well, I just. I feel. I felt so unrelaxed. I have to take a breath. He's like, okay, take a breath. Okay, more space. How's it feeling? Well, I felt really weird in the beginning, but, like, I'm getting used to it. And it's just, like. It's been, like, really quiet lately because Porsche's in Europe, and, like, I don't know how to turn on the music. So it's just, like, really, really quiet. And it's really cold in here because I haven't been able to figure out how to close the French door. So cold. Cold. No music, bugs coming in. It's really bad in here.

[Ben Mandelker]

Here's the thing. Life coach Dr. Slash, Jamie Lee Curtis. The girls have been saying I don't share anything on camera, so I brought you over to share a bunch of manufactured stuff. So please have a seat. I'm very lonely because Mauricio's out living his best life and traveling all over and having fun, and I'm stuck here. Kyle, you're traveling all over the world living your best life, too, with Morgan Wade. We see the pictures that you Pay for in every magazine that you pay to get them in. So stop pretending you're just stuck there with, like, a raw stress for less. Not even close.

[Ronnie Karam]

Kyle, you just went to Augusta, Georgia. Okay, that's beautiful. You just went to a very small airport.

[Ben Mandelker]

You just got to eat it. What was a family restaurant called? I forgot.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's called Eat It.

[Ben Mandelker]

That.

[Ronnie Karam]

Eat It.

[Ben Mandelker]

Eat It. Eat It.

[Ronnie Karam]

I eat it. But in Augusta. So Kyle's like. I mean, like, this is the first summer. I mean, the fact that he took Portia alone. I've never been away from Portia like that. And then he's, like, gonna go and do, like, a guys trip, and he, like, goes and lives his life and just, like, having fun, and it's just like. I don't know. Like, does Kyle just not know how to book herself an airplane ticket, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, yeah, she does, because she travels all over the place. Now, part of this was sad, you know, because Kyle's always made me crazy, But I fall for it, you know, I'm very easily manipulated. And even though I think Kyle's full of it and faking most of the stuff she does, I'm still like, oh, this is so sad. And, you know, I kind of felt bad that she's lonely and she's. And then I remember that she's got a really hot girlfriend and kind of kicked her husband out. So what do you want me to say?

[Ronnie Karam]

She did. No, she did. She did do that. Now, the other thing is that, like, what the real story here is, Kyle is saying, okay, we have to work on our images, right? Like. Like, a divorce is not just a divorce. When you're in the public eye, it's like. It's also a battle of public relations. And her public relations, like, her angle is I'm just home and I'm alone, and I'm just trying to, like. Because people think that she cheated, right? People think she cheated, and she cheated with Morgan Wade. So she's just going to be, like, the healing and working on myself doing that whole thing. And he's just like, whoo. Skiing, banging hot girls, going to parties, going off to the Riviera. And she's like, this isn't right because I have to do the sad thing thing for my. For my public image. And he gets to do all the party stuff. Like, I want to do the party stuff, too. I'm liberated from this guy. I get to live my best lesbian life now.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's. That's true. She should be able to be living her best Life. And it also sucks because, you know, while I do believe that she probably was cheating or whatever with Morgan, I also believe the stuff about mauricio, you know, DMing people on Instagram and. And all that stuff. So I don't believe that she's like. I don't believe that he's some victim in all of this. You know, I totally.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's not the first. Cheater. Cheater.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And I believe that stuff. She's like, I needed him and he's not around. Like I do. You know, I feel for her, I guess, and all of that stuff. But I also believe that you never tell a man who you think is cheating. You know what? You should take some space. No, it's not what you say. You. You cut. You change all the pin numbers on all of the. On all of the bank accounts and you get everything frozen. You don't just say go, go. Listen, any man who is worth what. What are they worth? Like tens of millions of dol point after the agency. I mean, they're rich. Rich. You never tell a man with a new lease on life because he's newly rich. Rich to just go explore and have fun. No, it's not what you do. Tie him down, break his kneecaps. That's what you do. You find out that man's been DMing people on the Instagram. Break his kneecaps.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Kyle's just like, I want to be out there, I want to party, but if I do that, everyone's going to get mad at me. So that sucks. And.

[Ben Mandelker]

But she is doing. She's basically just pretending on the show that she's not doing that. I guess cuz she's. She's kind of grounded on the show because her shoes shooting right now. But she's the one who puts out all these pictures of herself partying all the time and going all over the place with Morgan. So I'm not believing her. Like I don't even leave town. I'm just working so hard on, you know, all that stuff that I'm doing. You know, I'm doing a film version of Kyle by Shahida. And you know, it's been really, really rough origin story.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay, it's called Kyle Leah Perez commercials.

[Ben Mandelker]

Here comes one right now.

[Ronnie Karam]

In the 1980s, a swept the country. Hey Mike, I really like this white zinfandel. Well good, good. Now put it down.

[Ben Mandelker]

We're gonna try another one.

[Ronnie Karam]

White zin became America's top selling wine. But most don't know that this sweet drink has a sour history. What began in 1986 with counterfeit bottles.

[Ben Mandelker]

A big fraud, a multi million dollar.

[Ronnie Karam]

Fraud sent investigators chasing one of the most powerful families in the bill, the Licciardis. But the closer the feds got to them, the more dangerous things became. It's a story of deceit.

[Ben Mandelker]

At the time, I was paranoid. Threats, you touch my kids, I will kill you. And murder with a.22 caliber bullet to the head. What started with a scheme to mislabel.

[Ronnie Karam]

Wine spilled into a blood soaked battle for succession. Welcome to Blood Vines. You can binge listen to Blood Vines exclusively and ad free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery in the Wondery app, Apple podcasts or Spotify.

[Ben Mandelker]

Imagine this. You help your little brother land a great job abroad. But when he arrives, the job doesn't exist. Instead, he's trapped in a heavily guarded compound, forced to sit at a computer.

[Ronnie Karam]

And scam innocent victims. All while armed guards stand by with shoot to kill orders.

[Ben Mandelker]

Scam Factory, the explosive new true crime podcast from Wondery exposes a multi billion.

[Ronnie Karam]

Dollar criminal empire operating in plain sight.

[Ben Mandelker]

Told through one family's harrowing account of sleepless nights, desperate phone calls and dangerous.

[Ronnie Karam]

Rescue attempts, Scam Factory reveals a brutal truth.

[Ben Mandelker]

The only way out out is to scam their way out.

[Ronnie Karam]

Follow Scam Factory on the Wondery app.

[Ben Mandelker]

Or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ronnie Karam]

You can binge all episodes of Scam.

[Ben Mandelker]

Factory early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Jamie is like, she's like, well, why can't you live your best life too? I can, but there's like a little part of me that says like, you know, like, I move on. What happens if I move on with somebody new? And then like, what if he's like, okay, I went and sold my wild oats. Or like whatever that expression is. And you know, and, and he wants to come back. Yeah. Why would you take back someone who says, woo, I just sold my wild oats. Okay, I'm back to you. Back to the old, the old reliable Pontiac 1983 Pontiac. No, if someone said that, like, oh, sorry, I went and sewed my wild oats. Now let's get back together. Like, yeah, well, guess what? Keep selling your wild oats. Go, go see where those, how those wild oats grow. Because you, you just, you lost this harvest. If we're going to continue our farming.

[Ben Mandelker]

Metaphor, I'm going to squeeze those oats until they're oat milk. Then I'm going to throw it in your face. You son of a. But I can see why she'd be sad. Look, I think she's been with him for a long time. That was the love of her life. She never thought this would happen. And then she was like, fine, you're not there for me. Then move out, hoping that he would kind of, you know, be like, no, babe. And she says that in the scene where she's like, he never fought for me. You know, like, he just acted like everything would eventually be fine, Like I was just going through something and it would all be fine. And so I think that he did think that, and she thought, well, fine, he's not reacting, so I'll give him something to react about. Get the out and do whatever you want. We're separated. See how you like that. And he's like, party, party, party. You mean I can whoever I want, get my own place and still not lose all of my money in a.

[Ronnie Karam]

Divorce, and I'm not the bad guy. Yeah. And that's what I'm saying. Like, don't hold out hope that he'll. He, like, don't. Don't pause. Put your life on pause in. In hopes that he might say, okay, I'm done sewing my wild oats. I'm coming back to you. You don't want that. You don't want someone who, like, you want someone who wants you. Like, you want those oats to have been sewn. Those oats. Those oats should have been growing for 20 years back when he sewed them in, like, 1995, you know? So you don't want them to have to go off and have a midlife crisis and be like, oh, you know what? Actually, I do. Like, you don't. Don't relinquish your power that way.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I think that she's just, you know, lonely. I get it. You know, I mean, I don't get it in a way that I've ever lived it, but, like, I get. But I can. She see how she would be sad and stuff, and a lot of it, too, is just everybody bugging her, you know, because what she's really saying in this is, like, I'm fine, but people keep bugging me and telling me, I need to get divorced. I need to do that. So, like, do I need to take action? No, you don't need to take action. You're like, you're fine if you're fine with how things are going, don't take action just because other people are telling you to take action. Action. You know? I mean, if it works for you. There's so many different kinds of marriages And I don't know if it's just being gay, but I don't know. I know a lot of couples like this who are like best friends and they still live together, but they, you know, do whatever they want. Kind of at the same time, they have their own independent lives, too. So I don't know, maybe that could work. But don't feel the pressure.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't think that's what she wants, is telling you. I don't think she wants that. Listen, I think also, like, I still firmly believe that, like, the. The root of all this was that Kyle went through, like, really, really rough tragedy last year and Mauricio was not available to her the way that she needed him to be available. And that caused a rift. And I think it's probably really hard when the person that you love is not there for you when you need them the most. And then. And then they go off and they just party and they have a great time. And then you start to realize, like, oh, like, did I ever mean anything to this person? I think that's probably what she's going through right now and she should just move on. Move on and like, live your best life is what I'm saying. Saying to her.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, just keep annoying us in your annoy us.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Like in a full throttle, you know, full voiced annoying way, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. But we knew when they were doing that gun range thing a few episodes ago, when she got up there to sit next to him and he immediately jumped off that bench. I was like, oh, no, he's dating.

[Ronnie Karam]

She, like, went into the gun range. He like, yeah, he's like, I'm not pissed.

[Ben Mandelker]

I pissed off Kyle already. I'm not also going to piss off my girlfriend. Like, what kind of idiot do I look like?

[Ronnie Karam]

So, yeah, that was just so that's that.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she's like, I don't know what I want. Do I want to move on or do I not want to move on? And the therapist is like, I know this much. I want to move on. He's like, I got a pillow in my car. I'm going to go back and sleep in that. Okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

Also, it's been 20 years and I. I need to broach something with you, which is, my name is not Jamie. My name is actually Curtis. Curtis Lee. Jamie. Yeah, it's been really annoying.

[Ben Mandelker]

So let's go over to Bo's home cutting flowers for. She's cutting y and she's like, this is why we've got florists. Take me tall like me. I love A tall flower. Me and my future babies. I mean me and Keely's future babies.

[Ronnie Karam]

Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong. That's her. That's her doorbell. And she's like, oh, someone is here. And it's Dr. Cindy Duke. She's a fertility expert. So she comes in and booze is like, well, I've actually been a little nervous, but we're going to talk about it. Doctor, Dr. Cindy Duke. Welcome. Welcome to my talk show. Come to the Bose's living room talk show. We're going to sit down and talk about babies. So she says that Dr. Cindy is a leading fertility specialist. They call her the baby doctor. She says, I think she's a magician on the nose. It's a little like. Are most fertility people called baby baby doctors?

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, it's kind of on the nose, but it's also confusing in the same way because like if you had a sick baby, you'd be like, oh my God, call a baby doctor. And so your dumb husband's just googling and finds baby doctor. And you get there and she's like, I only count eggs. So.

[Ronnie Karam]

Or maybe she just like got her degree when she was really young, like 18 months. She's a genius. She's a baby doctor. Like remember boss? Baby, baby doctor.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, stat. Wah wah, stat.

[Ronnie Karam]

So she's like, do you want to set up in my bedroom? Would that be a good idea? And so there's like this little. There's this guy, this quiet man who just like goes upstairs to set up something and she basically sits. Well, this baby doctor brought her whole team. She brought her equipment, she brought her baby rattle and she. Because I simply need my services in my home. I mean my nail person comes to my house. My hairstylist comes to my house. My on staff bedazzler comes to my house. Heck, even my waxer comes to my house. So why would I not have my fertility doctor? Like, well, because I feel like you should go to a medical office. But that's okay. If they're willing to listen. When you're rich in Los Angeles, they will bring everything to your house. That's one thing that we have learned over the the years.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, but also I think like, it's glamorous to not do everything in your house. It's glamorous to like go get services other. Like who wants a waxer in their house? I don't want that like smell in my house. Smelly. And then you get like little hairs left everywhere. I don't know. I feel like, for this, you should go somewhere sterile.

[Ronnie Karam]

You know, it also, like, teeters a little bit into Ms. Haversham territory. Like, at certain points, like, you step outside the house.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, go outside.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, exactly outside.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't need my hoo ha working on in my house. I barely want to look at that thing. Get. You know, get someone else to do it outside of the house. Then I can go home and pretend it never happened, you know?

[Ronnie Karam]

Can I tell you something?

[Ben Mandelker]

Work done. Like, I don't want to look at that thing. Just do it outside the house, and I can come home and just. I don't know. I'm like, I never got butt stuff done. What are you guys talking about?

[Ronnie Karam]

I. To sort of. To echo what you just said about the little hairs. There was one time where my barber had left his barber barbershop, and so he was doing house calls instead because he didn't have a new barbershop yet. So I was like, cool. Actually, this is great, because I don't have to go anywhere. So we showed up, and then, like, we. Like. He cut my hair in, like, the kitchen because there was tile. There's hair everywhere, even with, like, a little blanket down. It was awful. Like, some things should not be in the house. I. I know that a lot of people get their hair cut in their home. Like, that's a thing. Like, especially barbers come to our homes. But it's messy. It's messy. Those little hairs, they find a way to get it everywhere.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, they really do. So she's. She doesn't care.

[Ronnie Karam]

I believe she's gonna get in her house.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, I get a car wash in my living room. What are you gonna do? I can afford it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, Dr. Cindy Duke, you'll meet Keely very soon. He's on his way in. Okay. Hello. Eyes up here. Stop playing with that tower of rings over there. Okay. Thank you. We're thinking about starting a family together, and, you know, we're both very mature. I'm 47. He's 40, and I've been pregnant twice. I've lost my first daughter, and I had complications when she was born preterm. And Leia, my living daughter, was also preterm. So I am nervous.

[Ben Mandelker]

And, you know, she's talking about how it's scary, but it's especially scary at this age and stuff. And then Dr. Cindy's like, do you have any peas to go with my mashed bananas? Because it was a long flight.

[Ronnie Karam]

Dr. Cindy's like, before we go any further, I have on my Schedule here that at 1:12 a plane is supposed to be coming into the hangar. Okay. And the hangar is ready for the plane. So my mouth is open wide.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Keely comes over and you know, they make niceties. And Buzz is like, well, here's what I need to know today. Are there eggs up in there? Are there eggs and are they up in there? Tell me me about them. How many? Are any of them talented? Do any of them show? Do any of them show Business acumen? Get on it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Have any of the eggs created a PowerPoint for this experience? So Dr. Cindy is like, well, as we age and as we cross 40, which as we know is 30 years faster.

[Ben Mandelker]

Faster. Bored, bored. Losing my interest.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay, well, you know, eggs. Okay. Low eggs, not a lot of eggs. Odds are low, but not zero. You're probably not pregnant. I don't know. What do you want me to do?

[Ben Mandelker]

Great. I'm having five children. Thank you. Thank you for coming over. So basically she does this thing where she puts the sonogram. I don't know, she puts.

[Ronnie Karam]

She does an ultrasound and they say ultrasound. She's like, now look over here. This dark circle is an egghouse. 1, 2, 3, 4. Please stop playing patty cake on my stomach. Sorry, it's just a habit.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wow. I've got four eggs. Do you know how expensive those things are? Now I'm rich. I'm r.

[Ronnie Karam]

Now can you please tell me about these egg houses? Are they mid century modern? Are they colonial? I have a certain style that I'm going for.

[Ben Mandelker]

Else is for. Tell them this. I'm coming for you. And I've got wallpaper.

[Ronnie Karam]

So she has egg houses. And she's excited because she's got like four.

[Ben Mandelker]

Four eggs per house or something. And you're, you know, usually you only get zero eggs. And so she's like, yes, four eggs. We're doing it.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right, but now before we go any further, let's talk about Keely. Let's talk about our egg houses. House number one, it was a little bit over budget, but I did love the view. Egg house number two, it was close to my work, but you know, that noise from the traffic, it was too close to the main road. And house number three, it was. It was nice, but I didn't like the kitchen. What do you think, Keely?

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, whatever you want. And then she's like, okay, doctor, thank you for coming over. Why don't getting up? I pooped myself. God damn it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Why do we keep hiring these baby doctors? So now we go to Kyle and she's getting ready with glam for caftans and caviar. And she's like, caftans and caviar. All that's missing is the yacht. And the glam person's like, quiet luxury. Which, to be fair, they probably say that with everything. Like, guys, did you guys. Did you guys see the latest episode. Episode of White Lotus Client luxury. Actually, that's an appropriate use of saying quiet luxury.

[Ben Mandelker]

Quiet luxury. I just know that Shahida's somewhere, like, fuming watching this episode. Like, oh, now she's willing to promote cat dance. Great. Great, Kyle, Thanks. So then over at Dorit's house, she's also getting her gland done. And they are doing that stuff on your nose, that contouring stuff. Stuff like, I'm like, are you purposely getting a carrot for a nose? Why is your nose a pencil carrot nose? Why are you shaping your nose like that? It looks cray cray.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they're like, hey, Dorit, so what are you doing today? Where are you going? She's like, oh, so Jennifer Tilly, she's hosting all the ladies at caviar Caspia. They're like, oh, my God. Fun, quiet luxury.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wow. Quite quiet. It's very quiet. Exhausting quiet luxury. So then she's like, I'm just not looking for conflict right now is what I'm not looking for. I can't wait to fight with Sutton. Does anybody have bottles of alcohol? I can take him.

[Ronnie Karam]

Meanwhile, over at Sutton's house, she's talking to her glam team and she goes, well, Jennifer and I have been going to caviar Caspia for a long, long, long time. And we see a photo of them going there in 2020. And she says, caviar Caspia is best known for its twice baked potato that has a ton of caviar on top. And then we see her with a potato. So one of the few ways you can get people on Beverly Hills to eat carbs is by loading caviar on top. I prefer the ocetra, but the most expensive one. But somebody like poor reit would get the cheapest one, which would be one of the red row caviar you get on top of sushi sometimes, you know, not even the good sushi like the sushi. Stop Sushi. You know what I talking about?

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, wow. You get the most expensive one. Wow, that's so impressive. We'd get the cheapest one.

[Ronnie Karam]

Port re. I don't mind it. I don't mind po. I like it. Even though I. I too enjoy that sushi Ro. I am here for the poor shading. That's I like a good I like a good good wordplay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hello there. This is a two part recap. Okay, this the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

[Ronnie Karam]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Alison King Our way is the Amber way It's the Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster it's always automatic with.

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Who, what, why, where?

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Plain she ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.