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- [00:01]
Ronnie Karam
One of the reasons we love watching Bravo shows is for the luxury. I mean, come on. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, most of the time I can just watch it for the shots of the gorgeous city and the houses.
- [00:12]
Ben Mandelker
And let's not Forget Lisa Barlow's $60,000 ring that she lost.
- [00:15]
Ronnie Karam
Oh, heck yeah. If you're looking for a way to experience luxury for yourself, try Virgin Voyages.
- [00:21]
Ben Mandelker
Over $1,000 in value is included in every sailing. Everything they offer, from their menus created by Michelin star chefs to their cabins designed by top international firms, is the pinn of luxury.
- [00:33]
Ronnie Karam
Virgin Voyages cruises are kid free and catered to adult tastes. And they have some incredible destinations. We're talking Caribbean escapes, Iceland and the British Isles. Miami, New York. You can even live out your below deck med fantasy with their luxe voyage in the Med.
- [00:49]
Ben Mandelker
I am so excited to go on my first Virgin cruise. You know, the idea of a kid free ship is very appealing to me and all these menus, it's like definitely a boat made for Ben.
- [01:02]
Ronnie Karam
It looks like a giant gorgeous club with fabulous rooms. I cannot wait to go book now@virgin voyages.com or contact your travel advisor. We're supported by Audible. Expand your life by listening. Explore over 1 million audiobooks and exclusive audio titles that will inspire and motivate you.
- [01:21]
Ben Mandelker
Tap into your wellbeing with advice and insight from leading professionals and experts on better health, relationships, career, finance, investing and more.
- [01:29]
Ronnie Karam
Listening on Audible can help you reach the goals you set for yourself. It's a great partner to help you become your best self. One of my personal favorites is an oldie. It's called As a Man Thinketh. It's a really good one I was given as a kid and just listening to it as I go for my walk really helps me out with the day.
- [01:45]
Ben Mandelker
Start listening today. Go to audible.com crappins and sign up for a free 30 day trial. That's audible.com crappens if you're looking for.
- [01:53]
Ronnie Karam
A way to streamline your streaming, Prime Video has got you covered.
- [01:57]
Ben Mandelker
On Prime Video, you can actually add over a hundred subscriptions like Macs, Apple TV plus and Paramount plus all in one app.
- [02:05]
Ronnie Karam
It's so much easier to just turn on Amazon prime now and get all of my subscriptions right in one little hub. It's amazing. I'm watching Severance right now on Apple and I'm also watching White Lotus on Max and boom. I can watch them in the same app right now. It makes it so much easier to not forget what I'm watching and what app I need to open.
- [02:27]
Ben Mandelker
Check out subscriptions on Prime Video. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch Watch Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. And joining me, someone who may or may not have a scandalous relationship with Dennis the hot dog guy From Atlanta, it's Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie, how are you?
- [03:09]
Ronnie Karam
Oh, hello. How's it going?
- [03:12]
Ben Mandelker
Just fine and dandy. Atlanta is back. We are recapping Real Housewives of Atlanta today. Before we get into it, some fun updates, which is that our show is going back on the road this week. We are going to be in Cincinnati on Friday night and we are going to be recapping Summer House. And then the next night we're going to Minneapolis and we'll recap Southern charm. And then we are crossing the border into Canada and we are going to go to Toronto to recap a classic episode of Roni, some may say the best episode of all time across maybe all franchises. That is the Berkshires. December, Berkshire County, Season 8, Episode 9. I believe that's what it is. You know, it's the one. It's the one. We're recapping that one. So if you want to come join us, go to watch crappens.com to get your ticket. I always say this, come solo, come with a group. If you're afraid of coming solo, literally, don't even worry about it. You will make friends. And even if you don't make friends, you'll still have a great time. Chances are you probably listen to it on your own anyway, so there's no difference. Right. I personally actually love going to to live event solo now. I've discovered that it's like probably the one of my favorite ways to see live music and shows. So go do it. Anyway, we're excited to see you all there. And then of course, later in the month we're going to Atlanta, we're going to Charlotte, we're going to D.C. we're going to Philly. It's going to be such a great rest of the month for the show. So that's what's happening there. Also, in case you missed it on Patreon, we'd love to have you on Patreon. If you do decide to join up, go through your web browser. Do not go through the app if you got it from the Apple Store because Apple has levied attacks and so you don't want to have to pay that surcharge so just if you go directly through the browser, you do not have to pay the surcharge. And if you're already signed up, you're golden. But just giving you a heads up for. For new subscribers on Patreon, that's patreon.com watch for crappins, bonus episodes, video, the whole thing. So that is the update, everyone. Shall we get into Atlanta? Ronnie, shall we clear yourself?
- [05:23]
Ronnie Karam
Updated? Yes. Let's get into Atlanta. Wow. It's been a long time since we've had Atlanta back on the screens.
- [05:30]
Ben Mandelker
It's been a very long time. And wow. You know, we. This is. I have to. What did you think about the premiere? About the season premiere? Because obviously there's a lot of expectations going into it. Last season was like, pretty cataclysmic. And, you know, there's, you know, they had to fire a bunch of people, bring in new people, retool it. So a lot was riding on this premiere. How did you feel like they did?
- [05:56]
Ronnie Karam
I thought it was good. I thought it was a good start. It is weird having a reboot. I mean, it's basically a reboot. So it's weird having a full reboot and getting into it, you know, and then they changed all the stylistic stuff of it. They're like, it's new. Get it? Now we're doing 3D imaging, like portrait mode on the iPhone. They're doing weird stuff where it's like, look, Porsche's standing, but is she close to you? Is she far away? Is she about to jog? No, she's not. I don't believe that for two seconds, first of all. And then they do this new green screen thing, or it's like a 3D green screen where the whole floor is green, everything's green. And then they still put it picture behind it so it looks like tiny dolls sitting in a dollhouse.
- [06:37]
Ben Mandelker
This drove. Okay, this is my biggest note from the episode. Can we please fix the green screen for Shamia? Okay. They did not do the proportions correctly. She looks like a tiny. She's like shrunken down. I actually paused and the size of her chair, she's sitting in, like a barrel chair, you know, and it's next to a sofa. And the top of the barrel chair is as tall as, like, the arm of the sofa. Like, don't. You made her a miniature? Come on, work on your proportions for your green screen. Every time I cut to her looked like so obviously superimposed. It was the. It was like a TikTok video when someone puts their head in the Corner. That's what she looked like.
- [07:12]
Ronnie Karam
Well, I think they're still trying to figure it out, you know, because it's like new technology for them. They're like housewives. New things for housewives. How do we do it? And so they all look kind of like little dolls in a dollhouse.
- [07:22]
Ben Mandelker
But we found out in her foyer, which, by the way, I thought was hilarious.
- [07:27]
Ronnie Karam
Well, they're trying to give Drew Sedora some AI upgrades, and they're just not working. Like, what was that wig that she wore to the party? And you could see her other hair kind of coming out the bottom. I mean, Drusadora is still a. Which I love. You know, she is.
- [07:40]
Ben Mandelker
But I have to say, I thought the premiere was great. I thought it was the best season premiere in several years. I think, you know, one thing was on. We even saw it in the trailer. We didn't do a trailer trash of this show because we were doing Traders on our Patreon, but even on the trailer, they have, like, adjusted the vibe of the show. They kind of got it back to where it should have been all along, which is it's in Real Housewives territory of, like, money and glitz and glam, like, the trailer. And then this premiere was all about, like, you know, luxury cars and jewelry, et cetera. And, you know, of course, there's always that element. There's always wealth on these shows, but I feel like they were really emphasizing it, and they sort of got back to kind of some campiness with this premiere. In my mind, like, I just felt like the tone was tweaked in a way that I really, really liked.
- [08:30]
Ronnie Karam
Well, the new girls definitely came to play. I mean, they were like, okay, let's attack. Let's attack. The only remaining standing person from the original cast, Porsche. Let's take her down, huh?
- [08:42]
Ben Mandelker
Fearlessly, like, without, like, even blinking it. Like, just effortlessly. Not cowering, just going after, like, Portia.
- [08:49]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, they're definitely. They definitely came ready for some mess, so that ended up being fun. It was hard to kind of get into it just because there were so many new people, but I think that's natural with, like, a new Housewives show I did. It was funny when there was Kenya, and I actually cheered when Kenya came on, because I thought they were going to cut her out of the season. So I was actually, believe it or not, super glad to see Kenya at being so messy. And I think the friend spot is actually kind of perfect for her, even though she never would have agreed to be a friend. But now that they've cut her into a friend. It's kind of perfect. I will say they look kind of like aunties to the rest of them to like, oh, these crazy girls, like sitting in a corner like these crazy girls. Remember when we used to be like that? And also I missed Candy and listen, Candy, I know didn't give the most in the past few years and I'm sure I was one of the loudest. Like something needs to change. But you know Todd's restaurants? I don't know which one. I think it's Old Lady Gang. One of the restaurants hasn't been paying their rent and it's, it's a, it's a whole mess over there. So I just want to know, I just want an update on, you know, how Candy feels about Todd blowing through all of her cash. So I kind of needed that update.
- [09:55]
Ben Mandelker
But, you know, you know, I, I've always loved Candy. I think she's actually a, like an incredible housewife. But I think it was, I think it was a good decision to just kind of really push out a lot of, a lot of the people and like get in some, some fresh faces here, but still have like someone like a Porsche, a big personality that we know of. Portia Shamir. What was surprising is that Shamia, who we've had Shami has been around for years, right? Like low key, like a, like she's one of the, the best kind of friends of across all franchises, but she sort of doesn't get as much credit as like a mar or someone else. But with Shamia, what's so surprising is not only did she get elevated to Peach status, she's kind of the center of the show now. Like, they really did kind of like all the relationships go through Shamia, which is surprising. And what I was surprised about is how well she, she stepped in as kind of the glue in the center of the new Atlanta. So there was like a lot of really surprising elements for me.
- [10:56]
Ronnie Karam
And just to think how much footage they must have cut of Shamia because really all they ever show Shamia is kind of kissing Portia's ass or standing up for Portia. But then we' find out this episode that Shamia never shuts the fuck up. And so they probably have like reels and reels of Shamia footage on the ground that we've just never seen.
- [11:15]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And like we always, I think we knew that Shamia acts and sings and does all that sort of stuff, but I never realized how much of that person she was until she became the center Peach and Then it's like, oh, oh, you're. You're an actor. You're an actor and a singer because you're acting and singing all the time now. Like, any. Like, anytime she can have the spotlight, she's like, hello. I was like, whoa. Where. This is Mia.
- [11:38]
Ronnie Karam
What?
- [11:39]
Ben Mandelker
This is crazy.
- [11:40]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, well, it's go time. And she. She went, like. She showed up and she. And she went for it. Okay, so let's start from the very start. Here we are, back again. Atlanta, Atlanta, Atlanta. Shots of Atlanta, and then, you know, shots of the season. Porsche, you're an awful fucking slimy ass bitch. And basically, they do Portia's big thing is I jog now. And so Portia's got really long hair, and she's kind of bouncing up and, like, you know, shots of her sneakers. She's getting ready to run, guys. And then it's slow mos and then it's portrait mode, and then it's 3D. And then it's. It's like every shot that they could find in their final cut, they used.
- [12:21]
Ben Mandelker
Well, they also, like, used a really cool visual plugin, which is that they made flashbacks appear on buildings. Like, that was a nice touch, too. Yeah, right? Like, she's, like, walking down the street, and it's like memories on, like a. On the side of a building. Yeah. So she's like, honey, you know, I had to circle back, circle the block, and I'm back. So she's saying her life is amazing. She's been traveling, living her best life, and Pilar's getting big, and, you know, like, life doesn't always have a fairy tale ending, you know? And then we see her and Simon headlines that her and Simon have divorced after 15 months of marriage. I'm like, I'm not sure that relationship had a fairy tale beginning either. To be fair. I don't know if it was a fairy tale.
- [13:06]
Ronnie Karam
Don't you remember when Cinderella went to that ball and saw someone else's husband? It was like, mine. And then she got the husband, and then she broke the shoe over somebody's head. Very good. I think Kenya was dressed as a Native American at one part.
- [13:21]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, that was the. The same Halloween party where Fallon hat was, like, dressed like. Was she, like, a alien or something? She had, like, scales. She had, like, a crazy. A very completely costume where she was. She. Medusa.
- [13:35]
Ronnie Karam
Right.
- [13:36]
Ben Mandelker
And she just went running around with, like, a golf. Golf club. Great fairy tale.
- [13:42]
Ronnie Karam
So, you know, things you guys might remember from your fairy tales. Bank fraud, credit card fraud, identity fraud, fake Marriages, multiple felonies, didn't want to be married to a stranger. And then, this is my favorite headline. Simon seemingly calls Real Housewives of Atlanta star Portia Williams a pig with lipstick.
- [14:03]
Ben Mandelker
Wow. Wow.
- [14:05]
Ronnie Karam
First, way to misuse the saying. But also, that's a funny headline. She's like, I filed for divorce, and we have financial issues and trust issues. Yeah, go back and read the headlines. There. There were some issues.
- [14:23]
Ben Mandelker
He just wasn't the man that I thought I was marrying. I mean, Pilar and I, like, we're still living in a marital home, but, like, things are getting really stressful with the divorce, and I'm trying to figure out a way forward. Wow. I can't believe Simon wasn't the man that you thought you were. Who was the man you thought you were marrying? Because I think we all saw Simon as this. Where were you? What. What did you see him as?
- [14:45]
Ronnie Karam
Old man with a lot of money. But she thought it was his, presumably. You know, I guess so. Then we see her mom, Diane, and she's like, from the looks of it, you were the perfect couple. The thing was just. Just not to go to bed angry, you know? And you also co parented wonderfully. Well, it's hard not to go to bed angrily where. When the furniture rental place is trying to take the bed out from under you.
- [15:08]
Ben Mandelker
Okay, who the did I marry? Mary. Mary. Now, we should have realized that Porsche would be coming back to Bravo and bringing her whole cohort, because Bravo is having a big hot dog moment. Like, every show is focusing on hot dogs these days, so it's only natural that Dennis returns to our screens with hot dog. Yeah, he's the. He's the hot dog pioneer on Bravo.
- [15:32]
Ronnie Karam
He's Hot Dog Dubin. He's the Harry Dubin of the show. Just going from housewife to housewife for screen time. So Diane's like, oh, my gosh, Portia. It's when you look at one part of it, then you start to look at another part of it, and then you wonder how much of it was real. Yeah, I love that they're just so shocked, especially Diane. Just shocked that any of this could have happened to poor Portia. Girl, I watched that reality show. I watched the Porsche show. I can't believe Diane's acting shocked.
- [16:06]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I just. I let my guard down because I felt like it was a safe space, and I still love this person, and I really hate all that. I let my guard down. You didn't let your guard down. You. You saw a really wealthy guy, and you got with him. So then they're all. Now we see Portia going downtown. She's in her workout outfit and Portia's like a lot of people, they say, well, this could be karma or whatever. But for me, I guess with bad karma comes good karma, because I always come out okay. I don't know if karma works out that way. I think sometimes bad karma is just bad karma. I don't think, like, I don't think it. I don't know if it evens out. Like, if you have bad karma, then it's your. I think it's just bad karma that you're stuck with. Right.
- [16:49]
Ronnie Karam
It's just how you market it, you know, Portia. And she's right. I mean, Portia's doing fine. She's still doing fine. I mean, she came back as the star of this show, so.
- [16:59]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, well, she's still a star.
- [17:01]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, I got her. Her karma got her a storyline for another season, so what does she care, you know? So now we go to Shamia and she's with her daughter at their place. Well, first it looks like it's going to center around Portia, right? Because the opening is all Portia. And then we see Portia jogging. And anyone who's watched this show from the beginning is like, oh my God, guys. Portia jogs. Now the world is at peace. We're getting a new storyline, but then we get the credits or whatever. And then it turns out that the season is built kind of around Shamia, which you've mentioned. So we go to her place and it's this huge mansion. And she's like, well, people only know me as Portia's ride or die. And then we see flashbacks of Shamia sticking up for Portia and then taking pictures of Portia and Phaedra and then doing the splits at a bolo party.
- [17:50]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, but then she says, but I mean, there's way more to me than I can outshine. The best in my 9 million dollar house was the second largest sale in Georgia that year. But you know what? I don't even have to get down like that. Even though I did just mention that it was the second largest sale. I hate being defined by my walls, which were did. Just as a reminder, they did cost $9 million. If you can afford to buy me the cheapest house tequila at the bar, let's do it and drink it in my nine million dollar house. You know, I might spit it over there and then buy us the good stuff. Stuff that might.
- [18:19]
Ronnie Karam
That's.
- [18:19]
Ben Mandelker
That's what I'LL do. So then you were drinking the cheapest.
- [18:22]
Ronnie Karam
Tequila at a bar when you met that man. You know, don't act like you've never had the cheapest tequila in a bar. She's like, well, I'll go, I'll play with the cheapest tequila eventually.
- [18:33]
Ben Mandelker
Then I'll spit it out. So.
- [18:37]
Ronnie Karam
So Shamia's found. Then we see Shamia. She's brought the whole family. And that's another thing everybody knew had the whole family on. So I was like, ah, it's a lot. It's a lot. New people, new people.
- [18:49]
Ben Mandelker
Everyone's moving in. Everyone's literally moving into Bravo. So Shamia's like, you know, I haven't had any parties at my home since I bought my home for $9 million at my, you know, I had my birthday party, but this is my first big party. And if it's a party, I'm gonna party. And it doesn't have to be a twerk. I mean, I can twerk. And then we just see like this whole. This whole massive family. And again, this is where we first see Shamia in her teeny tiny chair and the green screen and it's like, please, please, please fix this. You have time to do it. Production. Just. Just enlarge the image. Okay, Zoom in a little bit. Zoom out over there. Let's get the proportions right because it's driving me nuts.
- [19:25]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, they kept changing it and it was crazy looking every single time. But Shamia, I think if she went to any kind of, you know, train, media training or whatever before the season, just kind of get her ducks in a row. I think the media trainer just told her, when in doubt, twerk. Just start shaking your ass cheek, Clap your ass cheeks whenever you're in doubt. Because every other scene to me is like, clap, clap, clap. She's like, I can twerk. So she's gonna have a party. We need her. We meet her nephew and she's like, oh, one thing you better know about me is family is the most important thing. It goes, God, and then family, and then nine million dollar house.
- [20:23]
Ben Mandelker
It's a very expensive water spout. So she's like, career wise, I like to call myself, like the female Jamie Foxx. I mean, sorry, I know I'm a bit too modest to be on. On Bravo right now, but I'm a quadruple threat. I'm an actress, a dancer, and owner of a $9 million house. It's just a lot that I can do. And it just kind of happened that way because I'm a lover of music. I'm a lover of arts. I'm a lover of people. I'm a lover of Zillow. And I'm blessed to be able to do it all.
- [20:53]
Ronnie Karam
I mean, I haven't really heard of much of that, but that does, I guess that doesn't really mean anything. I mean, I found out who Chapel Ron was like two months ago because she was yelling at a reporter. Now I'm a huge fan. I mean, I didn't know. It takes me a while to figure things out. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
- [21:13]
Ben Mandelker
After the holiday hustle, there's nothing like giving your home a little tlc.
- [21:17]
Ronnie Karam
Wayfair's got everything you need all within your budget.
- [21:20]
Ben Mandelker
This is so true. As I've talked about on the podcast, I've been sort of building this office space into a little bit of like a video, video studio space. And I've been turning to Wayfair for everything. I got some chairs, I got a little background thing all on Wayfair and at a great price. And it was delivered really quickly.
- [21:37]
Ronnie Karam
And not only that, you can have people from there come put this stuff together. And that's the lifesaver to Wayfair for me. I go with a more modern style these days, and I found so many beautiful pieces on Wayfair that I don't have to put together.
- [21:51]
Ben Mandelker
There's something for every style in every home, no matter your space or budget.
- [21:55]
Ronnie Karam
Wayfair makes it easy with endless inspiration for every space and budget, whether you need a light refresh or an organizational overhaul.
- [22:02]
Ben Mandelker
And don't forget free and easy delivery, even on the big stuff. And like Ronnie said, they'll even help you set it up.
- [22:08]
Ronnie Karam
Find all your spring living essentials, storage solutions, decor and more all in one place.
- [22:13]
Ben Mandelker
Give your home the refresh it needs with wayfair. Head to wayfair.com right now. That's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home the weather is warming up, which means it's time to plant outdoor brunches and spring picnics. Whole Foods Market has great everyday prices on quality proteins and prod to make your gatherings more delicious.
- [22:36]
Ronnie Karam
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day. Look for the yellow low price signs that help you save money without compromising the quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
- [22:44]
Ben Mandelker
Find responsibly farmed Atlantic salmon, no antibiotics ever, ground beef and boneless skinless chicken breasts, plus more throughout the store.
- [22:52]
Ronnie Karam
Yellow really means Savings at Whole Foods Market because their sales signs are also yellow. So basically, wherever you see yellow, you know you're saving money.
- [23:00]
Ben Mandelker
Oh, you know, when I walk into Whole Foods, especially when I'm, like, dropping off a return or something like that, I go browsing through those aisles, and I look for those yellow signs, and I am seething.
- [23:10]
Ronnie Karam
Save on the best of spring with great everyday prices at Whole Foods Market. So she has an elevator in her house, and she's racing her daughter. And her daughter's like, I'm gonna beat you. I'm gonna go up the stairs and beat you. And she's like, no, you're not. And so she takes the elevator, and the kid runs up the stairs. And you can tell she's a good mom because she's like, how do you always be? Because if I was the mom, I would have come off that elevator, seen that kid, and just pushed her down the stairs in the elevator. That thing is paid for for a reason, you ungrateful little.
- [23:46]
Ben Mandelker
She's like, I've just been through it, just trying to grow my family. I have two girls. So she talks about. She has one girl who's like, Shia is five years old. Shiloh is 15 months. And Shiloh was. Was born prematurely via surrogacy. And so there was, like, a lot of. There was a lot of. Of medical complications and surgeries, etc. So it's a lot that she is dealing with over there. And so then she talks about how her husband. They've been together for 10 years. Her. His name is Jerome, he's Kenyan, and they met at a nightclub. And she tells the whole story about, like, how he tried to buy her a drink. And she was like, no. And then he's like, but her.
- [24:26]
Ronnie Karam
So he bought her a drink, but then he never talked to her again. And she was like, what the hell? You can't just buy me a drink and not talk to me again. I just figured something was wrong with them. But then I was invited to a cookout. And then. So I went to the cookout. And then the producer goes, shamia, could you make it short? And she's like, I'm almost done. Just give me one more second. So then he sits by me, we have fun. And she goes on for, I swear to you, 15 minutes. It's like, in their time, it must have been, like, three hours long. And finally she gets to the meat of the story, which is she goes to his house. She's like, I don't want to go in because you're going to Think that, you know, you're going to get some. And he's like, no, it's okay. We can just relax. So they're relaxing, and then he hears her stomach gurgle, and he's like, don't worry about it. The bathroom's right over there. And she's like, so I went into the bathroom and I exploded all over that bathroom. And, I mean, things were just coming out everywhere. And, you know, I go in there and I'm kind of embarrassed. And that man still called me for another date. That's when I knew. And next time I went over, there were baby wipes there. So ladies shit in his house on the first date.
- [25:26]
Ben Mandelker
Shit. That was the lesson to be learned. So she keeps going. Because, like this, by the way, this kind of reboot is. It's. It's a little bit like a sizzle reel. And like, for a sizzle reel is essentially like when you're trying to sell a reality show, you kind of make it sort of like a pilot, but it's a lot of people, the cast members talking to the camera, telling you who you are. It's busy talking to the producers. Like, I am so. And so. This is my background. This is why I should be on your show. And then you see some scenes of them together. So it's kind of like that vibe because we're like. We get like these very long scenes of people talking to us, but it's okay because they have to do it. They have to bring us into this world. So Shamia's going on and on about how Shiloh was in the nicu. And so, like, this year, they're pulling out all the stops and she's gonna have. She's inviting all these. All her friends, some of her new friends, like Kelly and Brit, and then also like porsche, you know, etc. Etc.
- [26:22]
Ronnie Karam
So then we see why she's the glue. And we see all the pictures of the new people, and so she starts stringing it all together. So she's known Portia for a decade, and she's good friends with Portia because Portia told her she needs to shave her vagina. Which.
- [26:37]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, there you go. Yes, that's all you need. Through Portia, she met Cynthia and Kenya because, you know, 5050 synth is back this season. And then she met Kelly because Kelly came on to. Onto Shamia's radio show and. And we meet Kelly shortly. But one thing I have to say, I love that Atlanta cast a. A waffle queen on the show. Like, that's like my favorite Thing ever. Like, Queen of Waffles is new cast member. And then she then. So Kelly would cook for her, and then she. Then she's also. Kelly is friends. Brit. So I guess she met Britt through Kelly. So that's how Brit came into the mix.
- [27:24]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And she's like, I love those girls because they let their hair down and their titties out. So we did that. We do that. And Drew, they did a film together 10 years ago on TLC, and it was a biopic. A biopic. I want to say biopic.
- [27:42]
Ben Mandelker
It was a biopsy.
- [27:44]
Ronnie Karam
It doesn't sound like it should be biopic. It's a biopic.
- [27:48]
Ben Mandelker
It was myopic. It was a myopic biopic. Pick. I, I, I. What movie was that? Did they say what movie that was? I need to know what it was. I'm gonna look it up.
- [27:57]
Ronnie Karam
Crazy Sexy. Cool. The TLC Story. It's about. It's a television film about tlc.
- [28:08]
Ben Mandelker
I thought it was a biopic that aired on tlc.
- [28:13]
Ronnie Karam
John and Kate plus eight. How it came.
- [28:15]
Ben Mandelker
Oh, yeah, I remember. I think I saw that movie. I feel. Was that on Lifetime? You know, it doesn't matter. We'll move on. But I really was like, well, I didn't know that TLC aired biopics. I was like. I was so confused. John and John and eight plus Kate. Andrew Sedora. Drew Sedora in a Kate Gosselin wig. It's like.
- [28:44]
Ronnie Karam
Wait, Kate, what are their names again? I just said it. John and Kate. I made John live in the basement with seven of the children.
- [28:52]
Ben Mandelker
So John went to Tampa again.
- [28:55]
Ronnie Karam
That's how she knows Drew. And Drew is really good friends with the Angela Oakley. And she doesn't really know Angela, but she knows Charles because Charles is the Charles Oakley. Maker of the sunglasses, I presume. Because I don't understand sports very much.
- [29:11]
Ben Mandelker
I used to have such a crush on Charles OAKLEY in the 90s, I swear, you know, because he was on the Knicks and I was a big Knicks fan. And I'd go those Knicks games, and he would be there, and I'd be like, Charles Oakley. So I'm like, very. Like, I'm taken to a place when I see Charles Oakley on this show.
- [29:27]
Ronnie Karam
Well, he's the resident. Because no matter how many times you recast a housewife show, they're always gonna have the grumpy asshole husband. And that's him. He's just the old grump who's like, fix your hair.
- [29:40]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. I actually really love that they included the Oakleys. Not because of any sort of Charles Oakley thing I bring to it, but because Angela Oakley's, like, a little older, and she's sort of. She's kind of giving some light Karen huger vibes, you know, I got that as well. Like some Grandin. But, like, maybe not as delusional, but I like that they're like, okay, let's bring in someone who's, like, a little more real regal into this mix, because I think that always works on these shows.
- [30:05]
Ronnie Karam
And this is when I got the Karen when she's acting like, well, I'm Angela Oakley. Oh, God, my wig glue. Oh, my God.
- [30:12]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
- [30:13]
Ronnie Karam
What am I gonna do about my wig glue? And then she had to. She's like, the wind is blowing off my wig. She had to go to the bathroom. And you just hear. And they're, oh, my God, the wig glue. What am I gonna do about the wig glue? I was like, oh, thank God. One Karen goes. One prison door slams and another door opens, you know?
- [30:31]
Ben Mandelker
Yes, exactly. So back to Shamia's house. And she's saying, like, trying to be friends to multiple people that don't always see eye to eye. That's thing, like, right now in my life. So then there's Glenda, who's. Who is some. Someone in the household right now. Ariana Grande arrives and her outfit from Wicked. And she's like, we shouldn't have to worry about that.
- [30:54]
Ronnie Karam
She's like, somewhere over the rainbow. Unlimited.
- [31:02]
Ben Mandelker
This elevator is unlimited.
- [31:07]
Ronnie Karam
Could they make the elevator a cast in the show? Because Portia's coming out of the elevator. I have to make a gif of that. I need that in my life. I need to be able to send that as a response in texts. But we'll get to that right now. Shimmy is the glue. But she's complaining to her family. She's like, you know, right now. Huh?
- [31:24]
Ben Mandelker
Right now. Shamia's the glue. Everyone, let's get back to the glue.
- [31:27]
Ronnie Karam
I know Ms. Oakley could have used you at your party, but she's talking about how she has to keep all that. She's like, you know, hanging out with girls. They probably don't all get along. This is episode one, okay? You can't already be having this discussion with your family. And they're like, shut up. You finally got a peach. Stop your bitching. So then we go to Drew, who's pretending to play with her children, like that's a normal thing that she does. And it's in their, you know, front yard that's on the street throwing Balls, you know? And yeah, this is very Drew.
- [31:57]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, it is fun that in this, like, revamp where there's, like, emphasis on, like, luxury and diamonds, etc. That then they have to go to Drew Sedora and like, they just try. They try to make her seem glam, like now into the exciting life of Drew Sidora. And she's like, kids, you want to.
- [32:13]
Ronnie Karam
Listen to your ipod? She's pressing play on that boombox that nobody would take in her first season.
- [32:19]
Ben Mandelker
She slips and falls on a penny saver on her front suit.
- [32:25]
Ronnie Karam
Listen, you kids better be good or I'm not reading you the Val pack before you go to bed tonight. Right.
- [32:30]
Ben Mandelker
She's like, it's a lot of change. Like, I have a lot of quarters and pennies saved up right now. And then she has her chef who's like, yeah, it's a lot. She. She always has. I don't know if it's the same lady as before. I think it is because she has this chef that has just like the biggest eyelashes like this. This chef is always like, I'm gonna be on camera. I'm gonna put all the mascara on right now before I cook this salmon. So.
- [32:52]
Ronnie Karam
But didn't she have problems with paying a chef? Wasn't that one of her things that she wasn't paying that chef?
- [32:58]
Ben Mandelker
I think she. I think when it comes to payroll and staff, that may be a problem area for Drew in general, beyond just even chef.
- [33:07]
Ronnie Karam
But yeah, she likes volunteers. That girl's like the red Cross of her neighborhood. She just takes as many volunteers as she can get. Yeah. So here's. She tells us that she's been in five movies in a year. And I was like, who's done five movies in a year? And so I looked it up and they're to be movies, you know? Yeah.
- [33:26]
Ben Mandelker
Vicious Murder, actually.
- [33:27]
Ronnie Karam
What is it?
- [33:28]
Ben Mandelker
No, the to be movies are like, do incredibly well actually.
- [33:33]
Ronnie Karam
Well, there you go. She's done five of them in a year. Vicious murder, the past boxed in. The preacher's son, Women of the Jury, adopted. And then before that, she had like a six year break where she did skinned. It's like, damn. And then white people money. A 2020 com. So she's done a lot of stuff.
- [33:53]
Ben Mandelker
Oh, and also it says here conclave. I didn't realize she was in conclave, but good for her. That's. That was an amazing turn for her. She's just imagining. Just imagining her with ray fiends. Like, I was in the past ass. And then I was in conclave.
- [34:11]
Ronnie Karam
Which What's Conclave? I don't know. I don't get the joke. I'm just listening so I don't look stupid, but I don't get it.
- [34:16]
Ben Mandelker
What is an Oscar nominated prestige film? Drew Sedora.
- [34:20]
Ronnie Karam
I don't know anything that's Oscar nominated. What planet do I live on? It's Nora so bad I don't know what an aura is. And then I found out it's about a hooker who gets with a. A Russian billionaire. And I'm like, that's my movie. Like, that's my type of movie. It's like my dream. Dream?
- [34:35]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. I mean, that's what half these housewives shows are basically about. I mean, hello, did you not see Porsches? Well, Portia's not a hooker. But it is about people getting with billionaires.
- [34:45]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Remember when the plot line everybody each other for being with like, trying to get with African billionaires or whatever. And now look at where we are. It's all these years later. It's like, haha, shouldn't have shamed us. We took over the show. Suckers.
- [34:59]
Ben Mandelker
And by the way, I support it 100%. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, I'm looking forward to finally seeing the Brutalist, which is like three hours long and has an intermission just to see how Drew Sidora does in that because I feel like she will really play really well off of Adrian Brody.
- [35:17]
Ronnie Karam
I'm sorry, I thought I signed up for a movie called the Doodleist. I'm not really sure. I made a couple of houses with cars out front.
- [35:25]
Ben Mandelker
Well, we were hoping to. We were hoping to cast Laura Dern, but we'll deal with Drusadora in a sec. By the way, Facebook recommended we ended.
- [35:36]
Ronnie Karam
Up with Laura Dern. Damn it, Drusador.
- [35:40]
Ben Mandelker
Can I tell you something? Facebook actually suggested that I be friends with Laura Dern this weekend. It was like someone you may know. Laura Dern.
- [35:47]
Ronnie Karam
Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
- [35:50]
Ben Mandelker
And it said Laura Dern works at Hollywood. I was like, I don't know if this is a real Laura Dern.
- [35:55]
Ronnie Karam
You should have friended Laura Dern. What the hell's wrong with. I still get Sandoval and like, you know, stupid people like that. You got Laura Dern? Damn your algorithm. Sweet.
- [36:06]
Ben Mandelker
I was afraid that if I added her as a friend that she would not accept me. And then I. I don't know if I am ready to be rejected by Laura Dern. I think I like a world where I have the possibility to be friends with her still. And I don't Want that possibility to be shut down just yet?
- [36:23]
Ronnie Karam
No, you have to be rejected by Laura Dern. That's how you build calluses, you know? Know. And then you don't care if you're rejected by people.
- [36:29]
Ben Mandelker
Well, maybe. Okay, I'll go to Facebook. If it's still suggesting her, I'll add her.
- [36:33]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, you gotta. I mean, come on. The stars.
- [36:37]
Ben Mandelker
Facebook knows everything. I mean, it's someone I might know. It's some of my know, you know?
- [36:41]
Ronnie Karam
So she's talking about the girls. Oh, no, no. We go to Drew. So Drew's like, there's so much change, and, you know, it's just so disheartening, this divorce. You know, it's been a year now. I would have hoped that Ralph and I could have mediated on our own, but, you know, we just couldn't agree on anything. And then we see a flashback to reunion. Miranda's like, oh, were you faithful to Drew, Ralph? And he's like, it would have came out already. He's like, that is not the question. Now I wish they would have shown where Drew was like, I've written a solo, a ballad for Ralph. Can I sing it right in front of Ralph? Have Ralph sit here on the reunion stage, then go into the basement. You piece of shit. You hurt me. I love that. That was one of my favorite all time Housewives moments.
- [37:28]
Ben Mandelker
And Drew's like, our divorce is dramatic. It's a rollercoaster. It's a shit show. And you can tell at this moment, Drew thinks that she's, like, the centerpiece of the season. She's like, okay, everyone, I get it. I'll just have the weight of the season on my shoulders. I can do it. Don't worry.
- [37:44]
Ronnie Karam
That's Drew. Every season, that's Drew. That's why she's so good at this. And a lot of people are disappointed that, like, out of everybody that made it back, we're bringing back Drew. This is why it's the delusion.
- [37:56]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Like, it's very reluctantly. Drusador is a. Is a. Is a good housewife because she is so deluded, and she's so. She's so shady. And that's. That's kind of what we need and want from our housewives.
- [38:08]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So Kenya comes. Speaking of Kenya comes over with Brooklyn, and the kids go play dolls and stuff. And she's like, so a lot has changed. This was actually Ralph's office. And then we see Ralph's barber chair. Is it actually a barber shop now? Because there's a bunch of people in There.
- [38:27]
Ben Mandelker
She turned it basically into a glam room. So Ralph's office is a glam spot now. And Kenya's like, well, where's Ralph? And she's like, well, so basically, we had a court order when we went to court. And he got moved to the basement. Ralph. Ralph is in the basement, unseen by the cameras, like an ogre. Like the troll under the bridge.
- [38:48]
Ronnie Karam
It's so good. And then their daughter's like, where's Daddy? She says, go downstairs to the basement. I'm scared, Mommy. Go. So she's like, turn on the lights. See if Daddy's down there. I like that. Ralph is in the basement in the dark.
- [39:02]
Ben Mandelker
I'm just imagining he's, like, gonna come out to light, and his hair is gonna be, like, big. And he's gonna be, like, walking on the ceiling or something.
- [39:12]
Ronnie Karam
So we hear his voices. And she's like, daddy. Daddy. He's like, baby girl, how are you doing, my love?
- [39:20]
Ben Mandelker
Come on. Throwing raw meat down there. Here's breakfast.
- [39:27]
Ronnie Karam
Just throwing it. Just throwing a turkey leg down there. Eat your breakfast. Send the tray back up when you're done.
- [39:37]
Ben Mandelker
So Kenya's, like, not banished to the basement. Are you allowed to go down there? She's like, no, not without permission. He has a whole different entrance. And every first, third, and fifth weekend, he gets fed. And that's when I have to leave.
- [39:52]
Ronnie Karam
And I love that she leaves the house. And, what, he gets to walk around the house every other weekend? That's so fucking funny to me. Ralph's just like, rub my wiener on that. Rub my wiener on that. Rub my wiener on that. And she goes, well, I was hoping he would take that opportunity to move out and get a life. But fortunately, he didn't. You know, I thought he would do what he loves to do, which is be out in the streets. But no, he's in the basement. The dog. Dog basement. So she tells Kenya that they. They don't communicate. They have to communicate through, like, a divorce app thing. And he tries to get shitty on the app, but she's like, well, the judge can read it, so I hope he has fun with that.
- [40:31]
Ben Mandelker
That's so Ralph. To be, like. To go off on a. On an app that is solely read by a judge.
- [40:43]
Ronnie Karam
Dummy. Ra.
- [40:44]
Ben Mandelker
It's so stupid. So. So Kenya's like, so, what is Drew doing? And she goes, well, I literally did five movies last year. You may have seen Anora. I was not in that. And then I'm doing my music. You may have seen.
- [40:59]
Ronnie Karam
I did audition for Anora. And it's really funny because my response, they said, no.
- [41:06]
Ben Mandelker
So I thought, yeah, it was actually no. It was actually an Australian casting person who said, and I'd been doing music. You may have seen my duet with Beyonce, wherein I stood up next to my TV and sang along with her during that Netflix halftime show. So that was really special for me. So, yeah, doing a lot.
- [41:25]
Ronnie Karam
He's like, let me tell you this much. This ain't Texas and this ain't hold'em. You may have heard it. So she goes, oh, and you know. You know Dennis from Detroit. He's helping me with my music. And she's like, dennis, who? She goes, dennis, Dennis. You know, Dennis Hot dog Dennis. That's who I'm partnering with. OnMusic Think. Yeah. We have a new label called Relish. It's huge.
- [41:49]
Ben Mandelker
Huge. Yeah. I'm actually, by the way, I'm opening up for Tank in Chicago, and Kenya's like, oh, my God, Tank. That's, like, amazing. Yeah, it's a dunk Tank. Actually, it's not. It's not the musician Tank. I'm going to a carnival, and I'll be singing songs there. So I'm really excited.
- [42:07]
Ronnie Karam
And Kenny's like, dennis. Portia's Dennis. And she's like, yes. So then we see flashbacks of the hot dog king being like. Like, I'm hot dog. Portia being like, I love hot dogs. I'm pregnant.
- [42:20]
Ben Mandelker
You know, when I've just, you know, I've thought about that maybe it's time for me to get into music. And I thought, if I'm going to get into music, I'm going to need a record producer. And the first one I thought of is, like, I want someone who works with hot dogs. That is how I'm going to make my. My success. Like, straight to the. Straight to number one.
- [42:36]
Ronnie Karam
Dr. Derwiner, schnitzel's busy. I need somebody. Isn't.
- [42:39]
Ben Mandelker
Doesn't every music documentary start off like this? It's like someone who's singing, and it's like. And then I met, you know, Ron Perlman, who was selling hot dogs, and he said, I got a sound for you. And then he, like, writes a song. It's always like this person who sells hot dogs or seat belts or something like that. And then they get their initial success. And then that once that person winds up being, like, the grifter, you know?
- [43:01]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. I was humming a song about a husband in the basement when I was in line for my 10 cent Costco hot dog. And the guy behind the counter said. I think I can work with that. This. So here we are. Here we are.
- [43:11]
Ben Mandelker
So anyway, here, here's a sample of this new song that Dennis wrote for me. Let's go out to the movies. Let's go out to the movies. Let's go out to the movies and have ourselves a snack.
- [43:27]
Ronnie Karam
Nicole Kidman narrated our first date. It was big. It was. It was big.
- [43:34]
Ben Mandelker
Commercials. Here comes one right now.
- [43:41]
Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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- [44:24]
Ben Mandelker
I have my eye on this beautiful Italian wool overshirt that's on their site right now. It is goo goo gorgeous, especially the caramel color. And honestly, I might treat myself to it later this week.
- [44:34]
Ronnie Karam
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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- [46:27]
Ben Mandelker
Okay, so here's what I'm thinking. We're gonna have a sofa, and it's gonna be yellow, and we'll put you in kind of like a reddish brown suit, and you'll lie across the sofa. But then I'll just look like a hot dog. Exactly.
- [46:40]
Ronnie Karam
We've got some people coming. We've got Oscar. We've got Mayor. She's like, sounds great.
- [46:48]
Ben Mandelker
Nathan's coming. We're gonna do it at a ballpark.
- [46:52]
Ronnie Karam
You know, it's all coming.
- [46:58]
Ben Mandelker
So then we see her just, like, singing, and it says, portia's Dennis in a glass reflection, just shadily pointing that. Pointing it out.
- [47:07]
Ronnie Karam
She's singing in Hebrew. She's like, just want to make the heads happy.
- [47:13]
Ben Mandelker
This is going out to an entire nation. This is. Listen. This is going out to a higher. What was the slogan? We cook for a higher God. I don't know what it is. So Kenya is like, wait a minute. So how does Portia feel about that? So Drew's like, well, she was just like, girl. Yeah. And I was, like, just very grateful for Dennis and who he has been in my life and showing up as, like, my angel on Earth. Because literally, there were days where I couldn't get out of bed crying. And he's like, I can't stop you from crying, but I can feed you hot dogs. And, you know, I knew I had a session, and I would get there, and, like, he was that saving grace when I was going through all that, I was going. It was just all good. And he's just a standup guy who wants to be there for his daughter. And he's like, look, this music is going to help me pay for my daughter's college. And we're all on the same team. This is a family. Just a hot dog vendor producing a record. That's it.
- [48:13]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And Kenya's like, how come you didn't ever Produce anything for Portia because she tried to put out a song a while ago, and it didn't go anywhere. And then we see Portia's music video for 2014, Flatline.
- [48:29]
Ben Mandelker
That's great. That Flatline is an appropriate name for a song and a musical career.
- [48:38]
Ronnie Karam
You know, Portia may not be the best singer, but she's a psychic singer, so you gotta hand her that. So Drew's like, well, maybe because he wasn't into music then. And Kenya's like, but you just said it was his greatest passion. Like, well, I didn't. I don't know how long it's been his passion, you know? But he told me he did talk to Portia to get her blessing, and. And she goes, did he get it? She's like, he told me he did. So I was like, cool. I mean, I'm sure she's. You know, I'm sure she's just not going to speak up. I mean, Portia's gonna be somebody who's gonna speak her mind if she's mad. She hasn't said anything to me yet, so I'm sure everything's gonna be fine.
- [49:16]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. What could go wrong? So now we go to a place called Dirty Tea. And now it's. It's time to meet Kelly, a new cast member. And so this is basically a long scene where we learn about Kelly. She has a daughter. Her daughter Chloe's 17th birthday. So Kelly tells us that she is a single mom. And she's like, single mom life is definitely not for the. For the week. And it's like, you know, it's a tea party birthday. So everyone has got, like, hats, and everyone's dressed up to the nines, etc. Etc. And there's all these kids around. And so Chloe, her daughter Chloe is 17. And then she has a kid named Chance, who's 11. And then she has twin daughters, Chastity and Chelsea. So everyone has a ch. First name, which is funny because Kelly is K. But that's fine. Whatever. Ch is the new K, I guess.
- [50:03]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Are you supposed to match it to your own?
- [50:06]
Ben Mandelker
Well, I would think so, but maybe not. It's okay. Starting to trend. It's fine. Know it's fine.
- [50:12]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So she's got a lot of cha. When she's mad. Like, when your mom gets mad, she's so mad she. That all the kids. She can't even get it together. She's just like, get down here.
- [50:25]
Ben Mandelker
It's like a car starting. Or like, Jason Voorhees.
- [50:31]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So it is Just destroyed. Can't do it.
- [50:39]
Ben Mandelker
Juice Adore is trying to try to sing along to it. Oh, yeah.
- [50:45]
Ronnie Karam
That is in the basement. Oh. So this is a birthday party for her 17 year old, and she gives her 17 purses. And the kid wanted a pink Birkin, but the mom's like, whatever, you're not getting a pink Birkin for me. But I will give you 17 purses because it's your 17th birthday. Couldn't you just buy a Birkin for that? I mean, those were nice purses. Those weren't cheap purses.
- [51:08]
Ben Mandelker
I know. This is Kelly. Kelly proving her. Proving why she should be on the show. She's like, I'm wealthy, guys. Trust me. Yeah, waffles. Waffles make you wealthy. I'm super wealthy, guys. I put me on bravo. So she's trying this is wealth.
- [51:23]
Ronnie Karam
She's like, look inside your purse, honey. There's your real present. It's a waffle.
- [51:27]
Ben Mandelker
Oh, I am creating generational waffle wealth. So. So she's getting divorced and everything. And. And Brit. Britney. Is there someone? This is her friend Britney. This is not Brit, who's the new cast member. But Britney is asking how she feels about getting divorced. And she's saying it's been like a long two and a half years of her life and she just wants to cut that out and take her name back. And she says her. Her ex, Martin Mark is a father of her three daughters. And it's been hard. They were married for 11 years and she got married, she had children, and she created a business. And so she's saying, like, how do we turn from that into complete enemies?
- [52:08]
Ronnie Karam
So we get her resume. She's from Baltimore. She's been here since 2003. And she started a restaurant in 2016 called Nana's Chickens and Waffles or Chicken and Waffles. Not chicken, chickens. They're actual chickens eating waffles. Nana's Chicken and Waffles. And she. She's like, I named the restaurant after my grandmother, which is, you know, tricky because everyone's going to trust a place called Dana's. No one's going to trust a place called, like, Grandmother Granddaughters. Chicken and waffles.
- [52:39]
Ben Mandelker
I don't want any second cousins.
- [52:40]
Ronnie Karam
The experienced person's chicken and Waffles.
- [52:43]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
- [52:45]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So stepsister Mana, you know, chicken and waffles. So she's like, yeah, it's like my second child. And it's just this little restaurant, but it turned into a huge deal. So Now I have 24 karat gold maple Syrup. And that was featured in Forbes.
- [53:02]
Ben Mandelker
And a line of waffle mix. Waffle mix, grits, A cookbook.
- [53:08]
Ronnie Karam
And she's very excited about a mimosa mix. What? The mimosa is two things. It's pain and orange juice. What are you putting tang in orange into a champagne?
- [53:17]
Ben Mandelker
I was like, mimosa mix? Is that just orange juice? She's like, yeah, you can pretty much put that in everything. Yeah. Because it's orange juice. So she's like, when somebody is constantly tearing you down, trying to take and be mean and spiteful. When we went to court that last time, you know what he told me? He said, pancakes are better than waffles. I swear to God, in front of my dog daughter. It was terrible. Anyway, he threatened me. And my daughters don't deserve that. They come from a loving waffle forward home.
- [53:49]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And then she's, you know, spending time with her kids, you know, the real cute. Her kids are really cute. And then we see the montage of her 17 presents gift giving thing. And then she's like, yeah, well, this is nothing new for my kids. You know, they're, they're used to this kind of thing. So I'm gonna have to do it for every kid when they turn 17. So purse economy, here I come.
- [54:14]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So now we go to Porsche. And you know, it's not a Real Housewives of Atlanta season without someone going to visit that lawyer Randy. So here she is. She is arriving.
- [54:28]
Ronnie Karam
This is the elevator.
- [54:29]
Ben Mandelker
Elevator.
- [54:29]
Ronnie Karam
Oh my God, this elevator was so hilarious. So she's trying to get out of the elevator and it starts closing, and then it closes on her butt, but it's won't reopen. And she's just like eating her butt. Hey.
- [54:43]
Ben Mandelker
Hey. She's like, yeah, it's definitely crazy having to call Randy again. It's insane. I gotta file for divorce. Is it crazy? I mean, I swear this guy's been on every single season. I'm surprised he's not holding a peach at this point.
- [54:56]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And then Randy, of course, is like, oh, my God, Porsche, it is so good to have you back in my life again. You don't want to hear that from a divorce. You know what I mean? He's like, thank God I can finally pay off my kids college. God, your divorces are lengthy. This is gonna be fun.
- [55:14]
Ben Mandelker
He's like, yeah, you really walked away from a lot. And then we see Portia's greatest hits. We see her with the Cordell after Cordell. And she's like, cordell packed up my stuff. And I'm like. And I'm like some random. Like, karma has his name, and that name is bitch.
- [55:29]
Ronnie Karam
And I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna fight him in that big bubble butt.
- [55:34]
Ben Mandelker
And she says that she was smart to do it. She did a prenup this time because she had to be more responsible. And she says that in her relationship with. With Simon, she felt like that if she had him by her side, that they were going to conquer everything. But then she started to realize that there were just, like, a lot of untruths going on.
- [55:55]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And just the way that Portia's putting it all out, like, I just had no idea what was happening in the headlines. They're putting headlines now in these weir little chiron things at the bottom, and they just, like, flick up for two seconds, but they're all like, fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud. Nothing but fraud. Nothing but lies. Nothing but fraud. All the headlines that come up. So she's like, with Simon at my side, I thought I could conquer anything, but I can't get out of the elevator. Right. Make him go. Make him go. So Randy's excited, but one of the big points of contention is that she claims this is her. You know, since it's the marital home home, and they have 50, 50 split over the home, she should be able to shoot in it. And he's trying to not allow her to shoot in the home, and that's cutting off her money.
- [56:43]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, yeah. And you don't mess with that at all. So Randy's like, well, the court gave you the right to live in the house. And so we're gonna try to do an extra document. This is. The court is telling everyone wants to do film that we have the floor to do that. I just want to say a shout out to my daughter. Hi. Hi, honey. I'm back on tv. So then basically, they're gonna do some lawyerly stuff and Portia tells us that Simon sent a cease and desists, etc, and the home. And. And she's like, not going to. Like, she can't have. She needs to film in the home. Like, that is cutting off her lifeblood. So she is gonna fight.
- [57:13]
Ronnie Karam
She's like, you know, I mean, it's not like I was just sitting there like some dumb little wife and just enjoying some money. No, I actually asked my husband, what's going on? Why are we in the secondary line at the airport? Any judge is going to be like, yep, she knew, give this woman whatever she wants. She didn't get to go through the clear line, for Christ's sake.
- [57:38]
Ben Mandelker
So she's like, but just all this information that I'd asked him about, he lied about and came out about him being like, him not having a real green card. Him not him not having more than gold status on American Airlines. I mean, he should be executive platinum by now. I mean, the only way for you to really protect yourself at the end of the day is if you have a prenupt is to enforce it. So you only have to enforce it by doing a divorce.
- [57:58]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
- [58:00]
Ben Mandelker
So.
- [58:00]
Ronnie Karam
And also the green card thing that he was. He's been trying to get citizenship and stuff, but couldn't he get it from being married to her? I guess I need to update myself on all of this drama because I don't remember at all. So then we see the headlines. Court documents show Simon is fighting for US Citizenship, but his crime middle past keeps getting him denied. Well, that answered my question. Simon's company ordered to pay nearly $900,000 an unpaid private jet bill.
- [58:29]
Ben Mandelker
Wow. It's not good. And so Porsche's like saying that, like, in their relationship, you know, she's pride herself on having great communication. And when the communication start to lack, it's felt intentional.
- [58:45]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And Porsche's like, we had an argument on Valentine's Day, but I'm old school. How are you old school? You're on your third marriage. You married a hot dog maven the last time. And this one is clearly, there was something wrong with this guy. So you're not. Portia's like, you know me, traditionalist.
- [59:05]
Ben Mandelker
Now, I know it looks like to many people like, oh, she posted this perfect life. But I look back and I could think to my myself, I definitely posted this knowing that we were not okay. And we see. We see her posting all these things, like everything be was all great. And so basically Randy's like saying, well, there's been some bad stuff that's been out there. And, you know, you always take the high road, not just because it's good life advice, but it's also good court advice. And she says that she reached out to him just to see if they could find some sort of peace. And she's like, she starts to get emotional and she's just saying how it's just really hard, but she's given up on that part. So she has to become the person that he's saying. You know, basically she has to kind of become steely and cold and icy, just like he's accusing her of being just that way she can have, you know, her day in court.
- [59:52]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So then we go to dinner and drinks at Knife and we're with Shamia, Brit and Kelly. And so now we meet Britt.
- [60:02]
Ben Mandelker
This is now when the show like properly begins in my book. It's like, okay, we've met most everyone. Not Britt, but like, like now we're starting to get into group scenes.
- [60:11]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, now we get some girl time with some girls.
- [60:13]
Ben Mandelker
Girls.
- [60:14]
Ronnie Karam
We're girls. So we get some time with the girls and Brit introduces herself and she's like, my husband's all about making sure I'm that girl. I had one ring that was 7 1/2 carats, and now I have a 10 carat solitaire. Hold on, let me clean it. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Throws it at the camera.
- [60:34]
Ben Mandelker
So now he hears Britt's exotic story. She's like, she's like, me and Kelly met through a mutual friend. Me being an insurance agent, I'm always gonna, I'm going to all of like the flyest, sexiest events in the city. I was like, oh, yes, that's. I'm sure that's why most people get into insurance because that's, that naturally comes with working in insurance.
- [60:53]
Ronnie Karam
Going to the flyest, the glamorous life of insurance agents.
- [60:56]
Ben Mandelker
You know, I mean, look at Vicki Gunvalson going to fly sexy events all the time in Orange County.
- [61:03]
Ronnie Karam
It's not State Farm, it's State Farmhouse modern in the hills, darling.
- [61:11]
Ben Mandelker
So at one of these events that she got to go to naturally by being an insurance agent, she met Kelly. And she, and she's like, well, one of my friends was like, I think you're going to really like Kelly. And she's like, really over the top. And like the second we met, like, I already knew it was going to be like, like it was going to be a vibe like dancing, you know. And then like, I started drinking and like she, like, I got to make sure my, my, my titties stay in because it gets wild, you know. And I saw her, her titties popping out also. Like my titties were popping out and her titties were popping out. And I was like, oh my God, insurance and waffles makes a great combination.
- [61:43]
Ronnie Karam
That's how I knew we were going to be friends. Both of our titties were popping out. So here we are, still hanging up.
- [61:50]
Ben Mandelker
We can put a premium on that waffle. Okay, let's get this business together.
- [61:56]
Ronnie Karam
So they order some drinks and Kelly's like, oh, my God. Can I just tell you something, Brit? I'm just so proud of you, you know? I mean, you're really kicking motherhood's ass right now. I mean, wow. What a journey.
- [62:09]
Ben Mandelker
Wow.
- [62:10]
Ronnie Karam
Everything.
- [62:11]
Ben Mandelker
And.
- [62:11]
Ronnie Karam
Oh, no. She's talking to Shamia, and social media is like, oh, yeah, yeah, things are going great. Nine million dollar house. Nine million dollar. So they. Oh, sorry.
- [62:22]
Ben Mandelker
Kelly's like, cheers. To love, peace, happiness and maple syrup. Cheers. Yeah. So Shamia tells them that she's gonna have a birthday party. She's like. They're like, well, who's gonna come? She goes, well, my best friend Porsche. Portia's going through divorce. It's so public. And, you know, Kelly's like, oh, poor baby. Oh, I feel so bad for her, you know? Sure. Yeah, she's gonna come out on top. Yeah, of course. And then Kevin, he's like, she probably should have never took that girl's mando.
- [62:49]
Ronnie Karam
It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, because that man was taken a little bit. She's like, no, no, no. Let's be clear. Simon and his ex, they were very public with their separation. And then we see the headline, phelan announces she and husband Simon are splitting up after two years of marriage. And then another headline, Portia Williams, engaged to Simon Love, wins. The cast member shared the news that she's in a relationship five minutes later.
- [63:15]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, my memory of it, and I could be completely wrong, my memory of it was that there was that Atlanta reunion. And the very next day, as soon as the third part of that reunion ended, the news dropped. Portia was like, surprise, I'm engaged. And I hadn't even heard that Simon and Fallon had divorced. But maybe it's because it's just like, who cared? It didn't land on the radar. And I seem to remember everyone was like, what the hell? And then it came out later, like, oh, actually. Actually, Fallon and. And. And Simon had, you know, separated like, a month prior or whatever. It obviously was, like, very, very close. But in my mind, yeah, in my mind, I had actually heard about them getting together before. I'd heard about a divorce.
- [63:56]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, yeah. And then, remember, there was that whole thing where Simon's like, no, because Phelan was cheating with the pool boy. And then she, like, ran off with the pool boy or something. So that was Portia's thing, like, she was cheating with the pool boy, so he wasn't taking it anyway.
- [64:09]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, that was so Kelly's like. It was just. It was a little bit of a gray area, you know, and she's like, no, there was no crossover yeah, but from like outside looking in. All I'm saying is to come, to come to somebody's home, to be greeted by their husband, to eat their waffles and then suddenly this happens and then you wind up marrying that person. Absolutely. That shit does look crazy.
- [64:33]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And Kelly's, she's just like, whatever. We've seen it on the blogs, you know, they're messy and Shami is like, wow, you know, you couldn't. You just can't be blaming people, you know, I just want you to get to know Portia for yourself. And Jimmy says, I know. Portia reached out to both of them, you know, Simon and his ex wife and was like, hey guys, I'm here for you. And they're like, yeah, but she's reaching out to a friend's husband who does that.
- [64:58]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And Kelly's like, yeah, I just think it's a fine line. And so she means like, well, who says across the line you were. You were Roman. So Shamia's like, you know, Portia and I have been friends since we were children and I love her and I feel obligated to have her back. Which means that their friendship is going to disintegrate this season. Because this is how this is the nature of these shows is that you start on the premiere saying like, we are. Our friendship is so strong and so great. But as we'll see later in the episode, Portia shows up late to the birthday party and like interrupts Shamila's big moment. So I guarantee this is a friendship that's gonna fall apart over the course of this season. Season.
- [65:35]
Ronnie Karam
I know, it's so sad, but also. Haha. Hello there. This is a two part recap. Okay, this the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
- [65:50]
Ben Mandelker
Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.
- [65:55]
Ronnie Karam
Our way is the Amber way.
- [65:57]
Ben Mandelker
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto.
- [66:03]
Ronnie Karam
Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.
- [66:05]
Ben Mandelker
Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Catherine D. Bernardo has our hardo.
- [66:10]
Ronnie Karam
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana Do. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's Diane call.
- [66:19]
Ben Mandelker
Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no Trickolus Jamie. She has no less Namey. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go we all go for Hugo Hava Nagila Weber we could all learn from Jennifer Kearns she's our.
- [66:34]
Ronnie Karam
Kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch Knock, knock.
- [66:39]
Ben Mandelker
Knocking on Katie Manock's door She's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston.
- [66:45]
Ronnie Karam
Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet.
- [66:47]
Ben Mandelker
With Lacey B. Rigging the funk It's.
- [66:49]
Ronnie Karam
Leslie Plunkett, she gets an A from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kissarino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry, we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox, Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.
- [67:04]
Ben Mandelker
Berg this is Living with Michelle Vivian.
- [67:07]
Ronnie Karam
I love a YA Olivia Williamson, Tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson she sure.
- [67:13]
Ben Mandelker
Is swell It's Raquel, yes, we can. It's Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Eldridge the Bay Area Betches bitches and our super.
- [67:25]
Ronnie Karam
Premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
- [67:31]
Ben Mandelker
Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD she's got a leg up It's Beth.
- [67:36]
Ronnie Karam
Ani we're taking the gold With Brenda.
- [67:39]
Ben Mandelker
Silva let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal.
- [67:42]
Ronnie Karam
Don'T get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily side.
- [67:47]
Ben Mandelker
Who, what, why, where?
- [67:48]
Ronnie Karam
And Gwen Pentland it's our queen It's.
- [67:51]
Ben Mandelker
Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Know your words With Jason Kurt, we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Juni, my favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo, she gets an.
- [68:07]
Ronnie Karam
A It's Kelly B.
- [68:09]
Ben Mandelker
We love him madly It's Kyle Pod Chadley we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder, She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi, always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani.
- [68:18]
Ronnie Karam
The incredible edible Matthews sisters She eases our woes It's Melissa St. Rose Give him hell.
- [68:25]
Ben Mandelker
Ms. Noel, she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a can and Anthony let's take off with Tamla.
- [68:32]
Ronnie Karam
Plain she ain't no shrinking violet cootar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondery.com survey.
- [68:57]
Ben Mandelker
Trip planner by Expedia. You were made to have strong opinions about sand. We were made to help you and your friends find a place on the.
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Ronnie Karam
Beach with a pool and a marina.
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Ben Mandelker
And a waterfall and a soaking tub. Expedia Made to Travel Imagine this.
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Ronnie Karam
You help your little brother land a great job abroad, but when he arrives, the job doesn't exist. Instead, he's trapped in a heavily guarded compound, forced to sit at a computer and scam innocent victims, all while armed.
- [69:30]
Ben Mandelker
Guards stand by with shoot to kill orders.
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Ronnie Karam
Scam Facts the explosive new true crime podcast from Wondery exposes a multi billion dollar criminal empire operating in plain sight. Told through one family's harrowing account of sleepless nights, desperate phone calls, and dangerous.
- [69:51]
Ben Mandelker
Rescue attempts, Scam Factory reveals a brutal truth.
- [69:55]
Ronnie Karam
The only way out is to scam their way out.
- [69:59]
Ben Mandelker
Follow Scam Factory on the Wondery app.
- [70:01]
Ronnie Karam
Or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [70:03]
Ben Mandelker
You can binge all episodes of Scam.
- [70:05]
Ronnie Karam
Factory early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus.