#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach

Summary

Summary of "Watch What Crappens" Episode #2757: RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach

In episode #2757 of "Watch What Crappens," hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the dramatic events of "Real Housewives of Atlanta" Season 16, Episode 1, aptly titled "Pretty As a Peach." This detailed recap captures the intricate relationships, conflicts, and luxurious lifestyles that define the latest season, offering listeners both insightful analysis and humorous commentary.

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Opening Conflicts and Relationship Tensions

The episode kicks off with Ben and Ronnie discussing unexpected invitations and budding romances that set the stage for the season's drama.

• Invitation Controversy: Shamia surprises the group by inviting Drew and Ralph to a party, raising eyebrows due to their ongoing divorce.

  Ben [03:12]: "So then they're talking about who's coming to the party, and Shamia has invited Drew and Ralph, which is weird."

• Drew and Dennis' Relationship: Britt shares her skepticism about Dennis's motives after he gifts Drew a lavish diamond necklace on their first date, hinting at possible insurance implications.

  Ronnie [04:34]: "He's like, I'd like to get this necklace and shirt."

  Britt [04:45]: "Are you sure this was, like, a date, or was this, like, a date? Because that's crazy."

Glamour and Luxury: The Heart of RHOA

Ben and Ronnie highlight the show's emphasis on luxury, contrasting it with personal anecdotes and humorous observations.

• Opulent Settings: The hosts reminisce about past outings, such as a chaotic night at "Swinging Dicks," underscoring the blend of glamour and unpredictability.

  Ronnie [08:28]: "She [Shamia] is like, look at my car, everybody."

• Angela and Charles Oakley: Angela Oakley introduces her marriage to NBA legend Charles Oakley, adding a layer of sports glamour to the mix.

  Ben [11:16]: "So then we see the Oakleys. So Angela's like, I am married to NBA legend Charles Oakley."

Party Drama and Surprises

The core of the episode revolves around a high-stakes party at "Bread's," where alliances are tested, and surprises unfold.

• Shamia's Big Reveal: Shamia showcases her new car, generating excitement and skepticism among the group.

  Ben [37:03]: "She's like, look at my car, everybody. And then, I mean, . . ."

• Kenya's Skepticism: Kenya remains standoffish, particularly towards Britt, who is navigating multiple divorces, leading to increased tensions.

  Ronnie [37:22]: "She's like, how did I greet you? Did I hug anybody, though?"

Portia's Punctuality and Business Ventures

Portia Diamond's continued struggles with punctuality and her business endeavors add layers to the group's dynamics.

• Late Arrivals: Portia's habitual tardiness becomes a focal point, frustrating other housewives and demonstrating underlying strains in friendships.

  Ben [40:45]: "She's clearly pissed. And then Portia's like, you know, she knows my intentions is always to be there for her."

• Go Naked Hair: Portia promotes her business line, intertwining her entrepreneurial pursuits with her relationships on the show.

  Ronnie [10:22]: "So Portia tells us. I mean, even. She's like, even right now, Drew's an influencer for my company, Go Naked Hair."

Climactic Confrontations

As the night progresses, confrontations become inevitable, bringing underlying tensions to the surface.

• Kelly vs. Portia: Kelly confronts Portia about taking another woman's husband, leading to a heated exchange that leaves Portia questioning her alliances.

  Ben [47:21]: "Which I guess he messed up on, so. But it was a huge party still. Of all my friends, except you guys."

• Kenya vs. Britt: Kenya's ability to poke holes in Britt's stories creates a rift, showcasing the competitive nature of the group.

  Ronnie [42:14]: "She's like, well, long story short, Kel was upset that Shamia went back and told Portia with a disgust child."

Humorous Takes and Recurring Themes

Throughout the episode, Ben and Ronnie infuse humor into their analysis, poking fun at character-specific quirks and recurring themes in RHOA.

• Wigs and Wardrobe Malfunctions: Angela Oakley's struggles with her wig become a running joke, symbolizing the challenges of maintaining appearances.

  Ben [34:18]: "She's got, like, gift tape from the junk drawer around her head."

• Wedding Rings and Marital Status: Discussions around wedding rings and marital statuses highlight the personal lives entwined with the show's drama.

  Ben [33:20]: "Well, it's. That's also real money, right? Like H Vac money."

Hosts' Insights and Commentary

Ben and Ronnie provide their take on the unfolding drama, blending critical insights with lighthearted humor to engage listeners.

• Analyzing Motivations: The hosts dissect characters' motivations, questioning the authenticity of gestures and relationships.

  Ronnie [36:34]: "You can just be like everyone else, like online. Be blocked, too. I don't care."

• Balancing Humor and Critique: Their ability to balance humor with genuine critique offers a nuanced perspective on the show's events.

  Ben [43:57]: "Portia's like, this is my first time meeting you. So anything else you want to know besides that?"

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ben [03:12]: "So they're talking about who's coming to the party, and Shamia has invited Drew and Ralph, which is weird."
• Ronnie [04:34]: "He's like, I'd like to get this necklace and shirt."
• Britt [04:45]: "Are you sure this was, like, a date, or was this, like, a date? Because that's crazy."
• Ben [11:16]: "So then we see the Oakleys. So Angela's like, I am married to NBA legend Charles Oakley."
• Ronnie [37:22]: "She's like, how did I greet you? Did I hug anybody, though?"
• Ben [40:45]: "She's clearly pissed. And then Portia's like, you know, she knows my intentions is always to be there for her."

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Conclusion

Episode #2757 of "Watch What Crappens" offers an engaging and comprehensive recap of the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" Season 16 premiere. Through adept storytelling and sharp commentary, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam illuminate the show's blend of glamour, friendship, and drama, making it an insightful listen for both longtime fans and newcomers alike.

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For listeners seeking more detailed analysis and exclusive content, support the hosts at www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.

Transcript

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Monica Lewinsky]

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[Ronnie]

Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two part Recon Recap. If you're wondering where part one was. Well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode.

[Ben]

So then they're talking about who's coming to the party, and Shamia has invited Drew and Ralph, which is weird. And they're like, aren't. Aren't they going through a divorce? Because I don't know. I mean, whatever. And so Britt's like, well, I heard at the real estate party, at the real estate Oscars, I heard that Drew is dating Dennis Dum dum, dum. They're like, dennis, Dennis, the hot dog Dennis. And to me is like, well, they were working together, but, you know, I heard that they were at the club holding hands.

[Ronnie]

And Brit's like, I didn't hear that. They were booed up. She goes, I don't really, really know Drew that well, but I heard some things about Drew, and it's a mess, okay? Word gets around in insurance circles. So Kelly's. Kelly then says that Dennis was in her DMs. And they're like, what? Kelly's like, yeah, I posted a bathing suit photo. And he was like, it's. There's no way you've got four kids. Omg. And I'm like. And they're like, oh, my God, Dennis. Like, did you respond? And she's like, no, of course I didn't respond. I mean, I sent him some free mimosa mix. Like, you mean orange juice mimosa mix, but that's it.

[Ben]

And Britt's like, nobody wants to see that hot dog. I went on one date with him back in the day, and he came on the date, and he brought me a diamond necklace as a gift. Are you sure this was, like, a date, or was this, like, a date? Because that's crazy.

[Ronnie]

He's like, I'd like to get this necklace and shirt. She's like, thank you so much for the gift. He's like, no, I want to know how much I can get it. I take it into a policy on this necklace for me. Thank you so much.

[Ben]

Because, Britt, I think the thing that Kenya ends up accusing her of is, like, being a call girl or something later, right? And she's saying like, oh, I've even got these pictures of you with, like, dicks or something. And she puts them up at some party or something. Spoiler alert. So I guess that's the talk about Brit. So getting a diamond necklace on a first date's a little so Then Brett's like, yeah, he didn't get my tatas on the date because he didn't even know me. But he did come bearing gift.

[Ronnie]

So social media's like, so you were definitely the girl. That girl back in the day? She's like, yeah, I was like a little video vixen back in high school. Like, I was a high school girl. She's like, no. She's like, yeah, I was in Black man magazine, all the magazines back then. Yeah, I was like, in high school. And she says. She says, like, nothing happened. There was like, no spark. But, you know, diamonds are a girl's best friend. So I definitely wasn't returning any gifts. So she kept her diamond neckl. But also like, why is Dennis giving a diamond necklace on a first date? That's a little weird.

[Ben]

Yeah. So then, well, he was kind of like that with Porsche right at the beginning where he was giving some lavish gifts and stuff like that. Now, no one ever said whether they went and got this stuff, like, looked at by a jeweler, because that's kind of what I'm curious about. So then Brit's like, let's say the best friends. And they all will like, we're best friends, which you know is going to be destroyed by the end of the episode. So then we go to Portia and Shamia and they're like, we are crazy. Wild girl Shimmy is like, I have a peach. We're going to a strip club.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So they go and they're like, oh, whoa. And they're gonna. They're like, don't worry, girls. We're gonna tip you. So Portia's like, wow, with my divorce being so public, like, and so stressful, like, I haven't been outside for, like, for real. So, like, Shamiya's like, such a great friend. And, like, if she says that, like, my. That ass clapping shot. Ass clapping and shots is gonna make you feel better, then I'm gonna roll with her in this one.

[Ben]

Yeah. And so Shami is like, well, have you talked to Simon? Because he texted me this morning. He said, congratulations on the peach. Can't wait to see you and Gerald in that beautiful Buckhead mansion. And I said, thanks, bro. It was supposed to be all of us. And she's like, yeah, he has more things to be concerned about than a peach.

[Ronnie]

So Shmiel's like, I just feel like he's chasing that. Like. Like he's chasing anything that's attached to you. You know, he's been in the box every single day. And Portia's like, yeah, every little thing. Everything. His posting, his constant attacks, him taking, talking to all friends, him lying. He's a nightmare. You definitely shouldn't have called him bro, because he's not a bro. So she means like, okay, he's not. He's Simon. That's who he is. So Shami is like, well, but the girls brought it up here last night there. She's like, well, what girls? She goes, oh, yeah, we recast the show. There's new people on the show. So Kelly and Brittany. You know, Kelly who does waffles, and Brittany who does insurance. Yeah. So they were like, why did. Kelly was like, why did she take that lady's man?

[Ben]

Yeah, she's like, that's her energy. Come on. And she's like, oh, my gosh, now everyone's smearing my name already. I mean, you can just be like everyone else, like, online. Be blocked, too. I don't care. So they're having this serious conversation. Meanwhile, there's this lady behind them clapping her ass cheeks. I can't even call it. Clapping her ass. I don't know what the were going on with these Ash was. Were they robot ass cheeks? One was, like, doing the wax on, wax off. One was doing the paint on paint. One was, like, rubbing the belly. One was, like, patting the head. That was the most talented pair of cheeks I've ever seen in my life. I don't even know how anyone paid attention to this scene.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, well, you know, I feel like in Atlanta, like, the stripper arts are really elevated. Like, that's, you know, like. Like Florence is, like, the home of the Renaissance. And Atlanta, like, that's where our, like, stripper Renaissance painters are. They just know how to do it so well down there.

[Ben]

Yeah, they really do. Remember when we went to Swinging Dicks? What a night.

[Ronnie]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Ben]

That was Richards. I mean, swinging Richards.

[Ronnie]

I mean, that was. It swung. It swung too hard. Swung too close to the sun.

[Ben]

It knocked itself in the face with its own dong so many times, it just plum knocked itself out.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. I will never, ever forget what happened there. It was a wild place. So we ran into Krappin's listeners there, too. That was the best part.

[Ben]

Yeah, that was fun. So Shami is like, you know, but then they asked me about Drew, and Because I had heard about Dennis and Drew hanging out, you know, and I heard they were at a club. And she goes, yeah, for. For her birthday, Right? Wait a minute. Another night with my job, My jaw's on the floor.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, so. So Then she's like. Portia's like, saying, wait, where am I? I got lost in my notes here. So basically, that picture's got me disoriented.

[Ben]

I know, but you. So you really are going back into that.

[Ronnie]

No, I actually got.

[Ben]

You're just like, okay, Ben, it's your turn.

[Ronnie]

He's like, no, I'm saying something about a chicken shack. And I'm like, wait, are we talking about a chicken shack?

[Ben]

They're talking about how Portia trusted Drew and she's always been a supportive friend. And then we see. I don't think we saw this back in the day, but at the last reunion when Portia wasn't in the season, Drew is in the makeup chair calling Portia for advice, which I thought was really funny. So she's like, what you're not gonna do is let him take you, because you're the only one who's been so vulnerable and open and let them spread out the issues. You got this. Andrea's like, see, that's all I need. Multiple people are blushing her. She's like, that's all I need. Portia, friends forever. Friends forever.

[Ronnie]

So Portia tells us. I mean, even. She's like, even right now, Drew's an influencer for my company, Go Naked Hair. But all this behind the scenes bullshit sneaking around with my child's father, to me, that's just crossing the line.

[Ben]

Yeah, but how are you going to call yourself a friend of Drew's when you make her look like that? In these ads, we see a shot of Drew with this Go Naked hair. You might as well go naked. What the hell is she wearing? Oh, my God. Poor thing.

[Ronnie]

So now we see everyone getting ready for the party, and we're at Bread's.

[Ben]

I've just been on Tubi. Can I get something a little higher class than this?

[Ronnie]

She's like, I just hope I can make the big jump from Tubi to Newbie, because I think there's to be. And Mubi, right. 2B is where Drew Sedora is, and Mubi is where Demi Moore is. And I'm not even joking.

[Ben]

So then we see everybody getting ready for the party, and Britt's talking to her husband Michael, and he seems very sour, which I like. And he's like, you know, everybody's gonna be drinking. She's like, well, I'm not gonna drink too much because, you know, I can be extra. And let's. Let's face it, it's not just my reputation here. It's insurance's reputation. So don't worry about me. It'll be just fine.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I have to be, like, a good neighbor. So then we go to Shamia and her mom, and there's, well, the mom saying, you are Jesus's favorite daughter and you can. You can get a direct call to him, and I need you to tell him. And then she. Well, I guess Shamia saying this all right to her mom, and she starts singing, rain, rain, go away Come again another day. I'm like, wow, it's probably a lot to live in Shamir's house. It probably takes a lot of patience.

[Ben]

And I thought, oh, that's cute. And then it just kept going and going, and she's, like, leaning through the doorway singing. I mean, listen, Bueller has to put up with that shit all the time.

[Ronnie]

But she's like, I wasn't a. I wasn't a biopic about tlc. So with that, with no further ado, I don't need no rain. Rain is the weather. I can't get no rain with me hanging on the passenger side of my best friend's cloud Trying to rain on my party like, okay, Shamia, I think it's. I'm sorry. I apologize to our audience. That was. No one needed to hear that. No one needed to hear an attempt to do no Scrubs with rain when I didn't remember half the lyrics. I apologize. That was a bridge too far. Bridge too far.

[Ben]

No rubber dub dubs. No man in no tubs. So Now Portia is FaceTiming with Cynthia, and Cynthia's doing that thing like, talking to your mom. Either your mom has the phone on the ground and you're like, mom, I can't see your face. Or she's got it like this. Or she's like, hi, honey. Mom, I can see your nose hairs back. I can see your pores.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, why are you so close? So Cynthia's like, hi. So I heard everything about you and Simon, and I was like, you know, you and I fall fast. That's what we do. Even though there may be red flags everywhere, if there's one thing that we love, we love going to an amusement park. And our favorite amusement park, the Six Flags. So bring on the red flags. And first of all, we fall fast with both feet. And I love when people say that. That's how they try to excuse their terrible judgment. They're like, well, you know, what can we say? We fall in love fast. We fall hard. We fall fast. We dive in with both feet. That's just the type of people we are. It's called bad judgment. You have bad judgment. You can try to make it sound romantic as you want. It's called bad judgment. Get some perspective. Look at your life choices and make some change. Is, well.

[Ben]

Or at least stop jumping feet or head first into pools that don't have water in them. You know what I mean? Make sure water in the pool.

[Ronnie]

It's like driving through a stop sign and crashing a t bony a car and saying, well, you know, I just love. I love just driving that. I just love diving in. I see an intersection. I just want to dive into it. It's like, no, there was a sign that said stop. Look at it. Look at the signs. Peter Spru.

[Ben]

So then Cynthia's like, well, I'm really sad. I didn't get to go to Nigeria while you were with Simon because I really wanted to go to Nigeria. And porch is like, I can still go there. I'm Nigerian. I found out. I found out my 44. So, look, I've got one of my sisters right here doing my makeup. Where are you? What's your tribe? And she's like, yoruba. She goes, yeah, Yoruba. We're the same. I'm your sister. I used to be. I used to be our wife.

[Ronnie]

So Cynthia's like, so, have you heard from Drew? Because I think she's divorced now, too. What I'm trying to do is check in on everyone who's going through divorce, and maybe one of you guys will say, hey, by the way, how are you going with your divorce from Jahil? But if you don't want to ask me, that's fine, too. I. I'll just keep asking you guys about your divorces.

[Ben]

Oh, so now they're talking about, you know, divorce, basically. And Cynthia's like, wait, wait, wait. So, you know, what the hell? What do you. What are you talking about with Dennis and Drew? They're not dating, right? And she's like, yeah, Cynthia, please get further away from the camera. You're scaring my. My sister. Please, please move it away. So Cynthia's like, well, I just need you to catch me all the way up, because now it seems like you're back outside and you know everything. She's like, I went back outside. Now I know too much. So then we go to party time. So Kelly's the first one to arrive, and Shamiya's like, listen, we need to have a talk. You know, Porsche is my best friend, and you bringing her up at dinner and accusing her of cheating, you know, I didn't like, that. That made me feel very uncomfortable.

[Ronnie]

Kelly's like, I'm sorry. Well, I never would want to make you feel uncomfortable. I mean, you have an elevator in your home. So I'm going to be nice to you because. Thank you. Thank you for honoring my. My elevator. Have you heard my rain song? It goes rain rain. No, I have heard it, actually. You sang it to me on the phone on the way in. Okay, good. Well, I just.

[Ben]

Now we're all uncomfortable. Thank you.

[Ronnie]

I just. I didn't want to seem disingenuous or, like, shady, but I have to let you know, I did tell Portia. I did tell Portia that you said that. And Kelly's like, well, clearly you did, because she already filmed a blog. And then we see Portia's Amazon Live. Amazon Live, where it all goes down. And Portia's like, yeah, yeah, there's a new girl named Kelly, and she apparently owns restaurants, stuff like that. And, like, I don't know her. I don't know. I don't know. Whatever. Who. I don't. She has waffles. Who cares?

[Ben]

Yeah. She's like, I don't know about that girl. And by the way, I'm showing this wig from my Go naked line. I'm sorry the model couldn't show up. It's just on a trash can today, so hopefully you guys will find that attractive enough to buy it. So then Kelly's like, you know, look, I'm going through a divorce, just like Portia, and I know what it feels like to be cheated on, so that's where I was coming from.

[Ronnie]

One also, she says, I think. I don't remember if I said. If I quoted Portia saying, there's a girl named Kel, because then Kelly tells us, Portia. You definitely know the name, because nobody calls me Kel. You better announce me as Kelly or the Queen of waffles. Honey. Queen of waffles. Those are your options. It's either Kelly or Queen of Waffles. That's it. Oh, God.

[Ben]

So to me, it's like, I didn't know you were cheated on. Well, that makes me feel a little bit for you. It explains. You know what? Thank you for being so vulnerable, okay? Because that's what we do here. As the glue. As the glue. Let me just say thank you so much for that, and I want you guys to be good, but I don't want to be in the middle of things, okay? And don't worry about it. I'm here to celebrate you. Okay? I'll wait to Go for Portia until the second she walks in.

[Ronnie]

Can we hug? Okay, let's hug. Okay. I just don't want to be in the middle. But also, I'm going to tell Portia everything we just talked about right now. Okay. We're going to have so much fun tonight. And once again, from the top. Rain, rain, go away Come back another.

[Ben]

Day so then it's party time. And now there's, like, a violinist standing on some kind of platform in the foyer and playing the violin as people comes in. People, money.

[Ronnie]

What? I love new money. They just. New money is just the best. They're just like, let's just put a violin player in the foyer. Yeah, why not? Sorry I interrupted. Go on.

[Ben]

No, go ahead. I was just reading. I was just reading what was happening. So Cynthia comes in and she's like. Cynthia just sees a violin player and she just, like, looks at the wall. She's like, there's a violin. There's a violin player here. I haven't seen that since the opening of Petersbrew. And she's like, this house doesn't even have an address. It's just called Stirling Hall.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And the producer asked Shamia where Gerald's money comes from. And she's like, well, he's an African king, so, no, that's not tr. He does H Vac. Some of the airports that you've walked through. My husband has built, manufactured and installed the H Vac. So there you have it. I mean, I love this new Atlanta. Basically, you have someone whose wealth comes from H Vac, someone who's an insurance agent and someone who is the queen of waffles. Like, this is what we need.

[Ben]

Well, it's. That's also real money, right? Like H Vac money. And. Well, first of all, not only is he a rich, he's a God. Because there's nothing I need more than air conditioning. So I already love this man. We don't hear a bout of this man the entire episode, but I already love him because I love ac. But also, the real money comes from real jobs. You know, like Stephanie's husband on Dallas. That guy installed, like, lockers. Right? Didn't he put lockers in sports rooms? Yeah, and this guy does H Vac. You know, that's where the money. Real things.

[Ronnie]

I think the final season of Dallas was, like, a fundraiser doing, like, lockers for disadvantaged schools. So, yeah, I mean, it is funny because it's always the. It's always the people who are like, well, he does some sort of finance or he manages this or that or has a portfolio. They're always the ones who, it's like the Simons who. It's like, oh, it turns out they had no money after all. But the people on these shows who are kind of doing practical things of just like building lockers or H vac, they're loaded. They're loaded and they just have have tons and tons of money.

[Ben]

So then we see the Oakleys. So Angela's like, I am married to NBA legend Charles Oakley. Started with the Bulls, then the Knicks. We've been married for eight years now, so catch that. And we see a flashback of their life and they're playing horse or something and she's like teasing him about his stats. And then she's like, yeah, you know, to some people he can come off directly. I was like, yes, an asshole husband. Thank God no Housewives recipe is complete without the addition of an asshole old grumpy husband.

[Ronnie]

Exactly. And she's like, he's definitely a straight shooter and I can get what I want out of him because I'm an alpha female. I can work my way around Charles.

[Ben]

It'S time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

Provided investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important [e-mail] Krappins At 24, I lost my narrative.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Or rather it was stolen from me and the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.

[Ronnie]

In the 1980s, a swept the country hey Mike, I really like this white Zinfandel. Well good, good.

[Ben]

Now put it down. We're gonna try another one.

[Ronnie]

White Zin became America's top selling wine. But most don't know that this sweet drink has a sour history. What began in 1986 with counterfeit bottles, a big fraud, a multi million dollar fraud sent investigators chasing one of the most powerful families in the business, the Lecharties. But the closer the Feds got to them, the more dangerous things became. It's a story of deceit.

[Ben]

At the time, I was paranoid, threats, you touch my kids I will kill you and murder with a.22 caliber bullet to the head.

[Ronnie]

What started with a scheme to mislabel wine spilled into a blood soaked battle for succession. Welcome to Blood Vines. You can binge listen to Blood Vines exclusively and ad free on Wondery. Join Wondery in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Imagine this. You help your little brother land a great job abroad. But when he arrives, the job doesn't exist. Instead, he's trapped in a heavily guarded compound, forced to sit at a computer and scam innocent victims. All while armed guards stand by with shoot to kill orders. Scam Factory, the explosive new true crime podcast from Wondery exposes a multi billion dollar criminal empire operating in plain sight. Told through one family's harrowing account of sleepless nights, desperate phone calls and dangerous rescue attempts, Scam Factory reveals a brutal truth. The only way out is to scam their way out. Follow Scam Factory on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Scam Factory early and ad free Right now by joining Wondery plus.

[Ronnie]

We're back to the party, and Cynthia and Kelly meet. And Cynthia's just like, there's like a hot bartender. Cynthia's like, so just to be clear, you don't come with a drink, right? And the guy's like.

[Ben]

He's like, hahaha. She's like, oh, I'm kidding. Would you marry me, yes or no?

[Ronnie]

He's like, ma'am, why are you speaking so close to me?

[Ben]

Sorry.

[Ronnie]

Been FaceTiming all day.

[Ben]

So Cynthia is asking Kelly about herself and her kids and her sign and oh, my God, Cynthia's a tour. She has an oldest daughter. Or Kelly's oldest daughter is a Taurus, and Cynthia's a Taurus.

[Ronnie]

And oh my God, I drive one of those.

[Ben]

No. We find out they're actually both Pisces, and they're like, oh my God, we're Pisces. And she's like, yeah, I thought you could pick up some Pisces energy. You know, I know that we attract drama. And Kelly goes, no, we don't attract it. I think it finds us. That means you attract it. Do Pisces just have to correct you over dumber? Correct in the first place, that's like dumb and dumber.

[Ronnie]

When it's like, what time do you want to meet? And she's like, how about quarter to seven? He's like, what about six? 45? So also, you know, Cynthia Bailey. When I think of Cynthia Bailey, I just think of someone who is always attracting drama. So Kelly's like. She's like, yeah, I had to have a little uncomfortable conversation with Shami earlier, you know, just a little bit. Just about Portia. And I'm like, well, why did she steal that lady's husband? And Cynthia's like, oh, my Lord Jesus. She's like, oh, no. Cynthia knows what's going on.

[Ben]

She's like, well, damn, if coming in hot was a person, it would be Miss Kelly or Drew. Which is why I'm wearing Drew's John and Kate plus 8 wig from the TLC via.

[Ronnie]

In this confession, Drew comes in hot, but only because she's wearing hot sauce. Per Dennis orders. He says it's gonna advance her musical career. We don't understand it, but we're just gonna go with it. So Portia's like. So Portia's like, yeah, she's never shy. And Kelly's like, good, neither am I. I'm sorry. Cynthia says that. So then more people arrive, and then Kelly's talking to some of the ladies, and she goes, So I hope y'all see that Shamia has my cookbook in the kitchen. Okay, I'm gonna have to get all my girls my cookbooks. And we see her cookbook, which is called Cooking with Kelly, but it's spelled Cooking with a K. So it's, like, kooky. Like cooking.

[Ben]

Cooking with Kelly.

[Ronnie]

Oh, God, I have to look this up. Cooking with.

[Ben]

Cooking with Kelly.

[Ronnie]

Cooking, Cooking, Cooking with Kelly.

[Ben]

What is it?

[Ronnie]

Oh, no. This poor girl. Okay, on Amazon, it has 13 reviews.

[Ben]

Oh.

[Ronnie]

So I guess out of print, limited availability. Oh.

[Ben]

It has 3.8 stars. Oh, that's not very good. Here, let's read the rating. Let's read the reviews. Shrimp and grits. They love that. And then there's only. Wait, how many reviews are there? I think there's only two reviews. Let me see. So the first one is from Miami Charger, and it says, I love this cookbook, and I highly recommend it. Shrimp and Grits. And then another person says, one star. Very few recipes. And they're both from 2019. Well, maybe it'll take off now that the show's here. And it's also a collection with a K. Cooking with Kelly. A K election of family recipes from Nana's Chicken. I'm surprised she didn't call it Cannas. Cannas.

[Ronnie]

You know what, though?

[Ben]

In Coffles, I think that.

[Ronnie]

I think that my confusion about Chloe and all the ch names is. Makes sense because, like, you're doing a K thing with the book, but then you switched over to ch. Where your children. So, like, what happened? Where did the. Where. What went wrong?

[Ben]

So now Angela's saying that she doesn't really cook, and thank God, because her husband doesn't like her cooking. Anyway. So then Drew comes in in like a patsy from Ab Fab Wig. I'm not really sure what she's doing with this. So she comes in, and she knows Kelly through my social media manager. He brought me some of her chicken and waffles, and she makes very good waffles. So I basically got some free waffles. That's how I know this lady.

[Ronnie]

And then Angela says, drew and I share the same hairstylist. We actually spoke for the first time maybe three years ago. I like her personality. She's chill. She's from Chicago, but she did not play on the Bulls like my husband Charles Oakley did. Sorry.

[Ben]

So then we see them FaceTiming a flashback of Drew being like, I'm going through so much over here. Oh, gosh, we'll lean on each other, right? We're Both sh. Sky Town girls. And Angela's like, I'm here for you now. Who do I have to beat up?

[Ronnie]

Who. Who?

[Ben]

Who do I have to beat up? We're gonna be such good friends on this show. No, Angela's gonna answer this girl. I can't tell you that.

[Ronnie]

Dropper. Yeah. So quickly. They barely know each other. You know that they barely know each other. They met once briefly through a messy hairstylist. So because. And I say messy only because every staff member that Drew has brought onto the show has been incredibly messy. So Cynthia is talking to Drew, and she's like, well, Drew, we gotta catch up. I haven't seen you since you and Ralph got divorced. If you want to ask me about me and Mike, I'm happy to give you some information about that too. Just like, I know we have so much to catch up on, but, like, I don't have so many answers. So then Britney is like, so, are you guys publicly dating? Is he publicly dating? Are you publicly dating? What's going on? And Drew's like, girl, I mean, I have people that are showing interest, but I just. I feel like I have to put a lot. I have to put a dot and a period on the situation because it's a lot going on.

[Ben]

So then this is where Angela's like, oh, my God, my wig. The glue. The glue. The glue is being melted in this heat. I can't. Charles, is my hair okay? And he's like, go to the bathroom, Charles. I mean, it's okay, right? Go to the bathroom and fix yourself.

[Ronnie]

He's like, don't. Just go. Just go. Just do it. So Angela's like, today, I thought I was being cute. However, it was so hot. So I'm trying to use the fan to stop the wig from running. And my. My forehead. Oh, that wig. That wig is just leaving. Yeah. Can't do it.

[Ben]

So then all the ladies are in white. It's a white party, right? So they're like, where's Shamia? Where's Shamia? And where's Portia? Why isn't Portia still here? And then we see 6:15pm Portia's still getting her hair and makeup done. And so now Kenya's here. So they start talking with Kenya, and Kenya's still not divorced. And Brit's like, wow, five of you are going through a divorce. Wow. You're going through a divorce. You're going through a divorce. God, you're like Minnie Vans on an Oprah show. Jesus Christ.

[Ronnie]

And Kenya's like, oh, yeah, Brit and You're married. Oh, because. Oh, because you don't have your other ring. Are you married? Are you engaged? And Brittany and Brit's like, I'm married. That's my second wedding ring. That's the second one. And Kenny's like, oh, from a different guy. Or. Again, it's just like, Kenya's so good at being just, like, just poke. She just finds the trigger area so quickly, and she's able to poke it. And, like, immediately there's tension between these two.

[Ben]

Yeah. Was I the only one who didn't think this was so bad? Because she said, this is my second wedding ring. And everybody's like, like, been married multiple times or a lot of these people. So I didn't think it was that weird. And she's like, oh, from a different guy. And she's like, no. One husband, one man. She goes, no, I didn't know if you were married before. She goes, well, no, this is the upgrade. This is the anniversary ring. And she's like, oh, an anniversary of the purse ring.

[Ronnie]

Well, because what Kenya picks up on right away is that. Is that Brit is when she's like, oh, my God, like, everyone's going through a divorce, kind of doing that thing. Like, and I'm the one who's still married. She's come doing the Kristen Takeman on girls trip thing, and Kenya does not like that. Kenya picks up on it. So now she's gonna. She's gonna kind of, like, nag her ring a little bit and then neg the relationship. And. And it works. I mean, she totally gets under this girl's skin. And it's just what Kenya is so good at. Like, comes so easily for her and so effortlessly.

[Ben]

Yeah. And it's also so obnoxious when someone's, like, newlywear. Newly married. Comparing themselves to people who have been divorced after, like. Like, 10 to 15 years, you know?

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Annoying. So she goes, well. Kelly's like, well, listening to Kenya's comment, I mean, that's unnecessary shade, you know? And I don't think you should be able to speak on anybody's ring if you don't have one. Oh, please. That's not true. I'm like, that. So they don't like qualifying judgment.

[Ronnie]

I can judge whoever wants to speak on people's rings. Yeah, exactly. So Brittany is saying that she. She was her husband's insurance agent. That's. They met. And so Kenya's like, well, she's like, oh, so you're more than a good neighbor? And she's like, yeah, well, he found Out. He was in good hands, and he hasn't left my side since.

[Ben]

So then Angela comes back, and her hair looks totally different. You know, who knows what she's done to it? And she's like, yep, the glue's gone. Gotta upgrade the glue. So she goes, I just had to freshen up, guys. I just had to freshen up. So she's got, like, tape. She's got, like, gift tape from the junk drawer around her head.

[Ronnie]

She looks like she just had a head injury. It's like. It's like. It's like shiny duct tape.

[Ben]

They're like, is that one of the pillowcases from the couch tied around her head? Nope. Nope.

[Ronnie]

Are you wearing a plastic bag? So. So Shamia comes out. So of course she's wearing blue because it's that things. You make all the guests wear one thing, but then you show. Like, everyone's forced to wear white. And everyone's like, ugh, I have to wear white. But then she gets to wear blue. Yeah. So she does a speech, and like, she's like, it just feels so Rain. Rain go away. So she's like, it just feels so good to have all my friends from all my walks of life under one roof. And by under one roof, I mean outside, where there's no roof. But I'm a little bit nervous about bringing all these friendships together. Can't we all just hang out? Turn up for my birthday.

[Ben]

Where's Portia? Where's Portia? Where's Portia? So she comes down and Britain Kelly are talking, and they're like, well, Kenya was a little standoffish, and Brittany's like, yeah. She was like, where's your wedding band? And I'm like, sweetheart, if all you need to know is I'm married and you're going through a divorce. But I'm married. Oh, that's bad. You should never shame somebody for being divorced, because it's gonna.

[Ronnie]

And don't say it on camera. Yeah, this will be used against you. This will be a black and white flashback.

[Ben]

Yeah. She's like, look at this rock. Never put so much of your pride. Don't base all of your pride on getting a diamond from a man. That's just so sad. So I'm not saying you shouldn't, like, be happy about it, but having your whole personality like, well, look at my ring that I got from some man. No, that's sad.

[Ronnie]

We don't care about the rocks that you got. So then Britt says, I'm the youngest.

[Ben]

Girl from State Farm from the Block.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I got flow from the block. So Brit is like, I'm the youngest of three girls and my sisters are hard on me and they're like, tough on me. So if you come to me being a hater, like trying to, like, you know, trying to try me or like size me up, I pick up all that very quickly. Like, oh, so when Kenya Moore says something to you and it's shady, you pick up on it.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Ronnie]

Wow, what an instinct you have.

[Ben]

You're like a Doppler, just crazy. So then Shamia is sitting with the ladies and someone comes over and they're like, oh, I have a surprise for you outside. So we know it's going to be the obligatory new housewife gets a brand new car to prove that she's really rich.

[Ronnie]

For the Housewives audience, I would like a non car surprise to be outside for one of these parties. Because like, you said it every single time someone's inside and they say there's a surprise for you outside.

[Ben]

Recycling bin. It doesn't smell like cottage cheese from 13 years ago.

[Ronnie]

When you put in an order for a new trash bin from the city, it takes three years for them to give it to you. But we got you one ahead of schedule. Congratulations.

[Ben]

Oh, my gosh. So she got a Cullinan. Is that how you pronounce it? I'm too poor to pronounce it. I can't pronounce.

[Ronnie]

Rolls Royce. Yeah, it's a Rolls Royce. Kieran Culkin for $430,000.

[Ben]

It's a Rolls Royce. Hey, who knew it would end up being better than Macaulay?

[Ronnie]

I was like calling them so. So she got an Andrew Canan in Rolls Royce. And Angela is like, $430. Wow. Well, talk about needing insurance. So Angela says, my husband, I'm punching him like, I hope you're looking because these are the type of gifts that I want, you know? She's like, and you're an NBA player, so you, you better get this for me. So Cynthia is like, oh, if I had, if I, if I had these kind of birthday presents, I might have tried to make my marriages work. Like, yeah, I can really see Mike and Peter being able to pay for these things.

[Ben]

Yeah, she's like, peter just gave me a half drunk, cold cup of coffee on my birthday.

[Ronnie]

Peter. Peter said, Peter said he was going to get me Rolls for my, my birthday. Unfortunately, it was just a bag of Hawaiian Rolls. It's exciting for a moment.

[Ben]

So Shamia's doing like the. Oh, my God, it's a car Everybody, I got a car. And like, oh, my God, Shamia got a car. She's like, look at my car, everybody. And then, I mean, Porsche walks right up behind her, is like, shamia, it's me. I'm here. Finally. She's like, I am accepting my car. It's me. Look at me. It's me reacting to Shamia getting a car.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, this was shitty, because first of all, she shows up two hours late, and then at the moment when this is Shamia, she is like. She is an actress. This is her moment. She is the center. Everyone is looking at her. And then Portia comes up and is, like, standing on stage with her, essentially, sort of shamelessly and unapologetically, not only being there late, but sort of, like, taking up that moment where now Shamia has to, like. Shamia can't be, like, waving at the crowds and doing her whole bit about being like, oh, my God, it's a car. She has to, like, tend to Portia. And it's not a great. It's not a great look on Portia's part, by the way.

[Ben]

She just tells her, you're a little late. And then she continues trying to be happy, but she's pissed. And she tells us, listen, you know. Yeah, let's be clear. I'm a fan of letting everybody. Everybody's light shine. However, in this moment to the left.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And Kelly's kind of like, if it were me, I would have just, like, snuck in and hid in the crowd and been like, I was here all this time. So. So now Portia's helping shimmy upstairs doing a wardrobe change, and Portia's like, I'm so sorry, Emily girl. She's like, well, there's nothing I can do about it. So, you know, I'm just. Just a. Just a tube of Elmer's glue and I guess you're the construction paper. She's like, yeah, you look gorgeous.

[Ben]

Yeah, she's clearly pissed. And then Portia's like, you know, she knows my intentions is always to be there for her. But, you know, when you have a party at that time, the traffic's insane. You also live in Buckhead. That used to be Portia's excuse when she would go anywhere else, because she's like, but I live in Buckhead now. But Shamia also lives in Buckhead. I don't think you have the same excuse.

[Ronnie]

Portia has been late to every single thing that she's ever, like, shown up to on this show. So, like, at a certain point, you know, it's it's like, it's one thing if you're 10 minutes late, but to be two hours late and be like, oh, man, you were doing makeup. We saw you.

[Ben]

Okay, Yeah, I thought that would be one thing. That production would make Portia promise, like, if we're gonna bring you back to the show, you cannot make us wait for four hours for shit. Portia. Because, like, there were times where Portia was like, four or five hours late to stuff. The shooting would be over, you know, and then she'd show up and try and start a fight just to get her paycheck in. And it's like, no. Yeah, come to work.

[Ronnie]

But that. That being said, let's not act like the producers did not happily schedule the timing of this to be just like this, because they know it's gonna create friction between these friends. I mean, this is how it happens. So Cynthia and Kenya, meanwhile, are catching up. And Cynthia is saying, well, apparently Shamia went out with Kelly and Britt. And Kelly apparently made a comment like, you know, what's going on with. With people stealing people's men? And Kenya's like, hahaha. Hide your husband, Hide your wife. Cynthia's like, I don't get it. What is that?

[Ben]

She's like, well, long story short, Kel was upset that Shamia went back and told Portia with a disgust child. And Ken is like, oh, my God. So why was Kelly upset? She goes, well, I don't know. I don't think it's a thing. But in this circle of young, fresh people, it can become a thing. Can become a thing. And she's like, oh, my God. Little thing can become a big thing. Okay, let's go do it. So she walks right over to the group, and she's like. So Britt starts with her first. She's like, kenya, can I get a hug? Because I saw how you greeted me. She goes, how did I greet you? Did I hug anybody, though? Did I hug anybody?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, because that's the other thing is that when Kenya came in, she hugged all, like, lots of people, but she did not hug Brit. And so Kenya is like, well, I mean, I hugged Cynthia. I mean, Cynthia is my best friend. And, like, you're over here causing trouble already. And she's like, we're causing trouble? What am I?

[Ben]

Mayhem?

[Ronnie]

Get it? Mayhem. Commercials, insurance. Okay, so I talked to like. So I talked to my friend, like, what's the big deal? She's like, you talk to who? She's like, cynthia. Okay, so listen, what we. What were you upset about with Shamia taking information, you know? And so Kelly is like, well, you know, we had dinner the other night, and, like, me, Shamia, and Brit, you know? And I was like, well, why did Portia take that man's husband?

[Ben]

Can you just cracks up, okay? Kelly. And Britt's like, can we not acknowledge the elephant in the room, okay? And that was the elephant in the room. And Portia's right there. She's like, oh, hi, Portia. Hi. And they're like, hi, Portia. And so Portia comes in and says hello to everybody. And Kelly's like, okay, so my question was, why did she take that woman's husband? And Portia's like, oh, my God, that's your opening line.

[Ronnie]

Wow.

[Ben]

What. What's your name again? And she's like, my name? Let me give you a hint. I have a cookbook starting with the word K.

[Ronnie]

Chrissy Teigen. No. So Portia's like, this. This is my first time meeting you. So anything else you want to know besides that? Because, like, what's your. Like, who are you? Where are you from? She was. So Kelly's like, I'm just asking a simple question. And I have to say, I did like how Kelly did not shy away from the fact that she was shady the night before, and she was not afraid to go up against, like, one of the biggest stars to come out of this show. And she just. She just was like, yeah, I just asked, why'd you take that guy's. Why'd you take that woman's husband? And I think it caught Portia off guard. I don't think Portia was expecting that.

[Ben]

So Britt's like, oh, my God. I'm like, oh, my God. Okay, look, Kelly can be spicy, but that's my girl. And Angela's like, oh, I know. She's joking, right? I mean, you're joking, joking, but she was dead serious. And Kelly's like, yeah, but you didn't answer my question. And portrait's like, I don't want to talk to you. Answer the question. No, I don't even know you. She goes, you know me. You've spoken on me on Amazon Live. And she goes, I don't know you. And then she turns to Brit, she goes, is that your friend? And she goes, that's my girl. And let me tell you, she's sweet, okay? I think she just wanted to address the elephant in the room. I'm the type of person that says elephant in the room a lot, so if we could just address the elephant in the room that would be great.

[Ronnie]

I don't care anymore. It's okay. So Drew's like, well, I couldn't hear what you all were saying. Sort of like Ralph, when I called down to him from the first floor, he always says he can't hear me. So they go upstairs to a different. To a choir.

[Ben]

Notice that I have to give the kids a quarter to pass the basement door every time they go down there. So Kelly's like, I stand on business. Waffle business. And women who can't own what they're doing or saying is a joke to me. It's maple syrup without gold flakes in it, and I won't stand for it.

[Ronnie]

And Portia's like, this chick is weird. So. So now they all take the elevator. And a lot of elevator action this episode. Like, that's the. The ongoing theme, which is why you mentioned earlier that it should be a character, because it's a lot of elevator scenes.

[Ben]

Yeah. So they go to the elevator because they have to move rooms because they can't find fight. They're like, wow, this is a real party, and we need to be able to fight.

[Ronnie]

They're like, in the kitchen.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So they all. They all get. They all. They're all gathering in this new area. And so Shami is like, speaking of birthdays, I didn't get invited to your birthday, Drew. And she was like, oh, no one got invited to my birthday. And Portia's like, I got invited to your birthday. It's like, well, I mean, but you didn't come, by the way. She's like, well, Dennis invited me to your birthday. She's like, like, Kenya's like, wait, why is Dennis inviting someone else to your birthday?

[Ben]

I was like, it was a surprise. You know, I just didn't know anything. But I did send my assistant everybody's numbers. And we all know my assistant. He's very shady, and he didn't invite anybody. So she blames her assistant for everything. She has the sloppiest assistant. I love it.

[Ronnie]

I know. Wait, you're going to tell me you told your assistant, invite these people to my birthday, and your assistant didn't invite a single person to your birthday, and you're like, chill with that? No, this is. This is a lie.

[Ben]

It was a surprise. But I gave my assistant a list of people I wanted to invite to my surprise. So.

[Ronnie]

Yes.

[Ben]

Which I guess he messed up on, so. But it was a huge party still. Of all my friends, except you guys. So she's still full of it. In other words. So then Portia's like, but Dennis, who's your assistant, Dennis? And she's like, Dr. Shimmy goes, well, Drew, I want would I would be inauthentic if I didn't ask, are you dating Dennis now? Don't, don't.

[Ronnie]

And that's where it ended.

[Ben]

What.

[Ronnie]

What a wild wild. Well, it was good episode. I really enjoyed it. That was, it was super fun. I am really excited. I'm hoping that the energy of this first episode continues throughout the season because we, you know, it's nice to see Atlanta being, like, really funny again and having a lot of stuff going on. So anyway, thanks everyone for being here. Go to watchcrappins.com to get your tickets to come see us this weekend and you know, or later on in March or April or May and we will catch you on the next episode. Bye, everyone. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King Our.

[Ben]

Way is the Amber way It's the.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Catherine D. Bernardo has our hearto get.

[Ben]

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[Ben]

All learn from Jennifer Kearns she's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with.

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

A It's Kelly B We love him.

[Ronnie]

Madly It's Kyle Pod Chadley we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani the incredible.

[Ben]

Edible Matthew sisters she eases our woes It's Melissa St. Rose Give him hell.

[Ronnie]

Ms. Noel she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a cannon Anthony let's take off with Tamla Plain.

[Ben]

She ain't no shrinking and Violet Coutar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.