#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet

Summary

Watch What Crappens
Episode #2768: Below Deck Down Under S03E07 - "Letters From a Go-Go Poet"
Release Date: March 18, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Platform: Wondery

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Introduction

In Episode #2768 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive deep into the latest installment of Below Deck Down Under Season 3, Episode 7, titled "Letters From a Go-Go Poet." As always, Ben and Ronnie provide their signature blend of humor, critique, and unabashed love for Bravo's reality TV offerings, dissecting the drama and dynamics aboard the yacht in this particular episode.

Morning Dynamics and Initial Conflicts

The episode opens early in the morning aboard the yacht, setting the stage for the day's events. Captain Jason announces the arrival of a new jet ski replacement, humorously noting its incongruous addition—a kimono worn by Captain Slands. This setup immediately injects a dose of levity into the morning routine.

Notable Quote:

Ronnie Karam (00:12): "It's so much easier to just turn on Amazon Prime now and get all of my subscriptions right in one little hub. It's amazing."

As the crew begins their day, tension starts to simmer between Vion and his colleagues. Vion, portrayed as an insouciant and somewhat problematic deckhand, exhibits minimal initiative. His interactions with Alicia, the new sous chef, highlight his reluctance to fully engage with his responsibilities. This passive behavior becomes a central point of contention throughout the episode.

Notable Quote:

Ben Mandelker (03:00): "When people are like, 'Oh, I hope I didn't make it awkward,' it's like, of course you did."

Vion's Love Letter Fiasco

A significant subplot revolves around Vion attempting to woo Adair, the sous chef, by writing her a heartfelt love letter. His approach is earnest yet misguided, leading to a series of awkward exchanges that underscore his social ineptitude. Vion's inability to effectively communicate his feelings results in confusion and frustration among the crew.

Notable Quote:

Ben Mandelker (07:40): "But he was at least clear about liking one girl, unlike most of the fuckboys on the show."

Ronnie criticizes Vion's lack of accountability, emphasizing that while Vion claims he wasn't the primary instigator of his interactions with Adair, his consistent flirtatious behavior excludes him from defending his actions.

Tense Interaction:

Ronnie Karam (09:36): "I think Serena knows. Serena doesn't seem to be, you know, thinking they're married to anything."

Guest Dynamics and Picnic Planning

The introduction of Caroline, a trial attorney and philanthropist from La Jolla, adds another layer of drama. Caroline's flirtatious advances towards Captain Jason, who remains unresponsive, create underlying tension. Meanwhile, the crew grapples with planning a grand picnic for the guests at La Dig, a picturesque location mispronounced humorously as "La Dick."

Notable Quote:

Ronnie Karam (16:12): "He's just so sexual. He's always lubed. He's always ready."

As the team prepares for the picnic, poor communication and Vion's lack of coordination lead to logistical nightmares. The bike ride to the tortoise sanctuary becomes fraught with delays, traffic, and barefoot mishaps, culminating in a chaotic setup that threatens to overshadow the day's planned activities.

Notable Quote:

Ben Mandelker (20:46): "This all of course relates to Below Deck because this is of course a great illustration of the Pyrrhic victory—a balanced effort that ultimately fails."

Climactic Picnic Disaster

The picnic day arrives, and the meticulously planned event quickly spirals out of control. Vion's oversight in organizing transportation leaves guests stranded and the crew scrambling to salvage the situation. The absence of a proper cart and inadequate communication exacerbate the chaos, leading to meltdowns and finger-pointing among the team members.

Notable Quote:

Ronnie Karam (27:28): "She's gonna be like, 'I'm sorry, what is this cheese? I'm...'"

Lara, the charismatic chief stewardess, takes charge amidst the disarray, directing the crew to manage the fallout and address the disgruntled guests. Her frustration with Vion's incompetence reaches a boiling point, setting the stage for inevitable confrontations.

Notable Quote:

Ben Mandelker (33:18): "He's telling his crew to pretend like they're working so he doesn't have to actually work."

Resolution and Host Commentary

As the episode progresses towards its conclusion, the tension aboard the yacht remains palpable. Vion's futile attempts to salvage his romantic endeavor with Adair only deepen his professional and personal turmoil. Meanwhile, Lara's leadership is both a stabilizing force and a source of contention, as she strives to maintain order amid the rising frustrations.

Ben and Ronnie wrap up their discussion by highlighting the show's adept editing and storytelling, which effectively illustrate the stark contrasts between the deck and interior teams. Their commentary underscores the recurring theme of personal accountability and the challenges of maintaining professionalism in a high-pressure environment.

Notable Quote:

Ronnie Karam (69:26): "I love that little scene because it told so much between the two departments."

Conclusion

Episode #2768 of Watch What Crappens offers a comprehensive and entertaining breakdown of Below Deck Down Under's latest episode. Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam skillfully navigate the complexities of the yacht's interpersonal drama, providing insightful commentary peppered with humor and candid critiques. Their detailed recap not only captures the essence of the show's unfolding events but also offers valuable perspectives for both avid fans and new listeners alike.

Final Thoughts:

Ben Mandelker (83:05): "We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns."

As always, Watch What Crappens delivers an engaging listen for Bravo enthusiasts, blending thorough analysis with the duo's unique comedic flair. Whether you're a seasoned follower of Below Deck or a curious newcomer, this episode promises both enlightenment and laughter.

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Transcript

[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

On Prime Video, you can actually add over 100 subscriptions like Macs, Apple TV and Paramount plus all in one app.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's so much easier to just turn on Amazon prime now and get all of my subscriptions right in one little hub. It's amazing. I'm watching Severance right now on Apple and I'm also watching White Lotus on Max and boom. I can watch them in the same app right now. It makes it so much easier to not forget what I'm watching and what app I need to open.

[Ben Mandelker]

Check out subscriptions on Prime Video.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crap Ends, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Ye Old Bravs. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hi, Ben.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

[Ronnie Karam]

Good. Excited because we are still on the road this weekend. We are going to be in Charlotte doing Southern Charm season finale. Then we're going to be in Atlanta doing a classic episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. Ben, what is it again?

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, geez. Oh, geez.

[Ronnie Karam]

Look at that. We'll tell you in a second. And then following that, we are going to be in Washington D.C. philadelphia, Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas and Las Vegas. You can get links for tickets and our schedule over at watch what crappens.com as well as a link to our Patreon which is where you find the videos like we're doing right now. Hi. And you can also find find our bonus episodes. We did full Traders recaps and now we are doing some airport snaps which is where we judge the out of people in an airport. That's super fun. We just did one in Cincinnati that was really good. So go check those out. And thanks for being here everybody. Today is below. Oh, did you find it?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I found it. I found it. Everyone. The episode we are doing in Atlanta is Orange County Bringing up old ghosts, season 11, episode 16, which is it is the Ireland episode. It's one of the two Ireland episodes. This is the one where they. I think that they get Kelly drunk and then there's a fight in the bus at the end of the episode. So it's a really classic, hilarious show and we are going to have a lot of fun recapping it down in Atlanta.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So come check that out. So let's hit up some Below Deck down under season three, episode seven, declaration of love.

[Ben Mandelker]

So it's 7am or it's right before the charter and Harry's checking in on Brie and asking if she slept well. I mean, the chemistry is off the charts with these two. And she said she did sleep well, so that's a love story if I ever heard one.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And he gives her a little peck, and she's just like, make a move, make a move.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do something.

[Ronnie Karam]

Then we go to Serena and Alicia, Alicia who is the new sous chef, and they're very excited for their first day. And then Johnny comes in all creepily. I mean, I know he thinks he's romantic. He doesn't come off as romantic. He really does come off as a salty. And I need him to back down a little bit. He's like, hello, it was so nice dancing with you yesterday. And she's like, yeah, it was good fun. Yeah. Yeah. I hope I didn't make you feel awkward or anything. Do you feel better now that my hand is on your boob?

[Ben Mandelker]

How does that feel? I hope I didn't make you feel awkward or anything when I went in and tried to kiss you after knowing you for 35 minutes. Just say, I'm sorry for making it awkward. Not, I hope I didn't, because it's like, you did make it. You know, you made it awkward. You know, you made it awkward enough that you are coming down into the galley the next day to have to say this, so don't I. When people are like, oh, I hope I didn't make it awkward. It's like, of course you did. And now I have to pretend like you didn't.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, she doesn't really feel like it was too awkward. She's like, whatever, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, okay, I think she actually likes him.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, she seems to like him. And he's like, I know it was too much, especially for your first day. So day two, impregnation. Meet me on deck.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, no, there was nothing wrong. It was quite good fun. It's just that it's my first day on a reality show and I don't want to totally embarrass myself this quickly, so.

[Ronnie Karam]

Good words. Yeah. Just wanted to make sure that the rest of the guys weren't fuckwits. And they are so full steam ahead.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know, right? He's like, last night I went in for a kiss, and it was a little bit out of character for me. You know, in Greece, we have Greece, green gods, Aphrodite, Eros, and they're definitely knocking on my door from being cold my heart, you know, the arrow pretend to get shot in chest with Arrow or Cupid? Dionysus. Yogurt. I feel warmer. You'll see. I have heart and love in me now.

[Ronnie Karam]

Even his view of love is so violent. He's like, and then I love by shooting hard. She fall down, she bleed all over ground. And we marry Jesus. Calm down, sir. So Jason is announcing that the jet ski replacement has just arrived. Thankfully, it's wearing a kimono by Captain Slands.

[Ben Mandelker]

Please pick that up. It's a beautiful accessory for your jet ski.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Ray and Marina are doing some rooms, and the deck crew's doing jet skis. And now Serena is announcing it's time to do the fridge and freeze. Just going through, like, moldy veg, basically. And so they do that.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Vion and Lara are catching up, and she's asking how his night was. And he's like. He's basically like, well, I told her. I told you. I told Zarina I was interested in someone else. And she's like, oh. And Zarina took it okay. She's. Well, yes. And then she caught me off guard before, just before my cabin. And she was like, kiss me now. And so we kissed. And, you know, but it wasn't me. She was. She was kissing me. And she's like, so you just like, why would you do this? And he keeps on acting all passive. This is such the classic thing. This is like a Carl. Carl Radke thing. He's like, no, it. I didn't kiss her. She kissed me. I just happened to be there. Like, sir, we saw you. You two were both kissing. And if you didn't want to kiss her, you could have walked away. You could. You know exactly how to defuse that situation. And you're acting like, oh, no. And this is not a victim blaming situation, because this is a situation. He was. He is enjoying doing this. This sounds like problematic language, but I'm totally backing it when it comes to Vion because I think he was totally down for it. But he doesn't want to have any of the responsibility or the accountability that comes along with this.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, he has none. I think he has no accountability with this because she pulled him into the thing. She kissed him. Yeah, he kissed her back, but he had just told her he's not into her, so. And he's like, well, she knows where she's standing with me. And Lara's like, don't mess with my girls. But, yeah, I mean, I think Serena knows. Serena doesn't seem to be, you know, thinking they're married to anything.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think Serena's like, okay, but I'm just saying, on his part, like, he's the sort of person that he's like, oh, yeah, no, I said this last week. You know, he's the sort of one who's like, I'm. He's gonna establish these boundaries solely. That way, he can say he's established the boundaries, and then when stuff happens, he'd be like, but I established a boundary. You can't be mad at me. So.

[Ronnie Karam]

But he did establish a boundary, which is unlike, I think a lot of these fuckboys do the thing where they're like, well, I'm not sure. And I'm not sure I want a relationship. And that's their boundary, where they're like. They're kind of trying to have their cake and eat it, too, which is our saying for the week, in case anybody wants to really argue what it means deeply. But, yeah, I think he wants to have it both. You know, most guys want to have it both ways on these shows where they're like, I'm just not sure I'm ready for a relationship. But we can see where this goes. Where he was like, no, I like that other girl. You know, I like Forrest Gump. And then I think that was a little clearer. At least. I don't know why I'm standing up.

[Ben Mandelker]

For Vyon, but I know I'm surprised because, you know, Ben did this on Below Deck, Remember, when he was with that lady, Sunny? And I hate to bring us back to Ben and Sunny, but he basically breaks up with Sunny, and then she's like, fine. And then he, like. He's like, oh, well, now I'm gonna start making out with you. And it's like. It's. It's. It's like. I think some weird. It's a weird not strategy. It's like, a thing. It's a tactic that I feel like fuckboys do when they don't want to be held responsibility for, like, the emotional elements that come with a hookup or a relationship. And I just think it's just like. What I hate is Vyond just acting all passive in it. Like, oh, he wasn't even part of this. He was. You know, he just got roped in. It's like, you were an active part of this, Vyon, and you're acting like you're not, and I'm just not here for it. The only thing you've been active with this entire episode, I'd like to add.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, I guess my thing is Zion's like, such a douchebag and such A sad worker for the rest of this. Like, there's so many other reasons to be mad at him, but I think for this show, he was at least pretty clear. Whereas most guys, I think, would just lead all three on. Whereas he was at least like, no, I like this one. And now I'm gonna write her, you know, I'm gonna write her letters on the little free notebook you get on your Marriott newsstand.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, well, okay, I'll give him credit for being a little clearer than most of the fuckboys, but I still, like, he's, he's just turning, he's just going down very rapidly for me.

[Ronnie Karam]

Also, Serena is just getting on my nerves because, like, he said, no, like, get some self respect, Serena. Like, I love Serena. So I don't like watching Serena be like, oh, but let's see if I can still try it. Stop it. Just stop it. So now we go back to the galley and she's talking to Alicia and she's like, so, have you done some cooking? She's like, well, I don't want to disappoint you. You know, I've got a passion for it, but I'm not really a chef. Just me a chili and something green.

[Ben Mandelker]

Let's get going, shall we? I know, it's like, well, I wouldn't expect you to be a chef at 25 anyway. She's like, well, I'd love to learn anything I can from you, but whatever, whatever you need, I'll do my best to help. Now, tell me, what is salt? It's like, oh, dear. So basically, Zarina is going to have her start off making crew food and then go from there. And then Alicia tells us about her background and she says that she has no official training, but she has a lot of passion, which is great. But if I'm on a five star yacht, I want to be like, well, this soup tastes like mud, but it also tastes like passion. So I'm going to keep eating it. Want the training too, not just the passion.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, you know, some of us just watch, you know, Food Network. Okay. Still learn to cook. Watch a couple of YouTubes. You can learn.

[Ben Mandelker]

Can you learn to cook on the Food Network these days? Can you? Searing commentary from Ben Mandelker. Anyway, you can learn to compete against.

[Ronnie Karam]

Guy Fieri and learn how to chase a cam down a grocery aisle or whatever the he's doing these days.

[Ben Mandelker]

You can learn to mix, like, bubble gum and duck confit together. Yeah, in a box.

[Ronnie Karam]

So her other big story is the thing. I'm one of four Sisters. And I have a twin sister, and she plays such a pivotal role in my life. I'm obsessed with her. I want to be her that goddamn one day. I'll be her. So I've decided to cook and just try my own thing, you know, because before, all I would really do is put pictures of my twin sister, which were basically me. But then I'd put pins through their head every day, and I started to get a headache, and I said, God damn it, Karma, can you pay attention? We're twins. Nobody could tell us apart in case. Unless it came to our report cards or boys that wanted to date us or cars that our parents bought us.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. You know, we were both, like, so together then. My identity was bound to her completely. And then she moved on. She got a boyfriend, moved to Australia, did everything she could to get away from me, and I kind of hit a low point, and I started going out more, partying more, doing anything to mask the feeling of being alone, which is my way of saying I wound up in the gutter and food saved me. Thank you. Thank you. I'm a chef.

[Ronnie Karam]

And she's like. And, you know, now she's got her own life. She's out in Australia, which is wonderful. And so now it's time to grow up and learn how to make things that have a taste, that hides the poisoning that I'm gonna feed her one day on her goddamn wedding night. It's great. It's going great.

[Ben Mandelker]

Now that my twin sister has moved off to Australia from England, it's time for me to establish my own identity by being on Below Deck Australia.

[Ronnie Karam]

They're like, what's your name? Ashley. I'm sorry, I thought your name was Alicia. No, I'm Ashley. I'm very happy. I have a boyfriend. Please let me embezzle your money. She's just gonna do one of those shows where she turns into the twin just to fuck.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, yeah. There's never was a twin the best. I love. I love twin intrigue. It's so good. Michelle Geller, his always good. Whether, like, whether it turns out there's a secret twin or whether there's. You've always known about the twin, but, like, they have a competition. It just always works out well in stories.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Has there ever been a dull twin adult?

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, yeah, There's a lot of dollars.

[Ben Mandelker]

Real Housewives of New Jersey. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, how can you call them Dole? One of them fucked their mother. One of them. One of them had a husband who fucked the mother. Right? That's true.

[Ben Mandelker]

And they did. They would meet and have culadas at Dunkin Donuts.

[Ronnie Karam]

They were exciting. They're exciting points. Okay, so Harry and Johnny are talking about the new girl because Harry's so, you know, thirsty for the tea. He's like, so you and the new girl tell me the tea. Won't tell anybody except Brianna and all the girls in cleaning, of course. What's going on? He's like, I like her. Oh, my heart. I've been shot. I'm bleeding. Bleeding on the ground. Fucking heroes.

[Ben Mandelker]

Death by Cupid. And he's like, well, you know, don't remember. There's no rush, is there? My recommendation, give her a kiss and then give her a second kiss two weeks later. And he's like, got it.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Marina is asking Brie about her and Harry, and she's like, well, I think we're both kind of shy, and it's kind of tough. I mean, where are the conversations this morning? He passed by me and kissed me on the air, and he still hasn't talked to me about it. Well, what did it mean?

[Ben Mandelker]

I know she's just in an existential spiral because of Harry, which is amazing. Just quietly on the side of the show. It just always cuts her being like, huh, I'm having some trouble opening up the peanut butter. Does this mean something about me and Harry? What does it mean?

[Ronnie Karam]

And she's like, you know, I was hoping to see where Harry's head's at, but, oh, my gosh, I'm just gonna get tired of this questioning game. I mean, this morning he said, how's your morning? What am I supposed to do with that?

[Ben Mandelker]

Did he mean this time zone or America? Because it's not morning in America. It's so confusing. So then Leon is talking to Zarina, and he's like, well, I think that Laura's angry at me. She's like, well, what did you do to her? It's like, I didn't do anything. And then Lara walks right in with that. She's really growing to hate Vyon, which I love. Like, we've been waiting for this. I think we thought this was going to happen a few episodes ago. So it's been kind of like, come on, Lara, be exasperated. And she's getting there, so I'm very happy. And she just sees him, and she's like, he's been kissing too many girls. Including you, Sabrina, you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And he's like, too many? Who else did I kiss? There's six girls on this boat. Oh, and you're gonna get through all of them, I'm sure. And he's like, well, are you. Are you going to apologize to me, Laura? And she's like, no, but I apologize to you, you slut. Wipe your face. Why is it always oily? How is your face oily? Every single time I see you. And that's one of the things I wonder about him. Because, you know, I'm a big fan of argan oil. That's what I put on my skin. So I have an oily tint to me as well. Not tint, but sheen. I have, like, an oily sheen.

[Ben Mandelker]

I never think you have an oily sheen really, ever.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, sometimes I never, like, fresh out of the shower, and I'll be a little sheeny, but it's because I love an argan oil, you know? But I don't know what his deal is because he's all. Have you noticed he's always shiny?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, it could be that it's, like, massively hot and humid there, and maybe he just has oily skin. He might just have. He just might have. He just might be an oily skinned person.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's just so sexual. He's always lubed. He's always ready.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lubed up. He's ready. So Zarina tells us, at this point, I think Vian and I are just flirty friends and that probably shouldn't drink around each other. And Viana's obviously a shit stirrer. So let's be clear. I would. I would definitely hook up with him, though, if it's a muscle man. Been waiting two seasons on the show to get some good action. So then Marina is, like, finds a. A singular hair in the middle of the bed under the. Under the comforter. I don't know how she did that. That's like.

[Ronnie Karam]

Can we talk about how she did it? I don't really understand Marina's process here. I know everybody's like, oh, my God, Marina, you're amazing at housekeeping. If I saw this in housekeeping, I would decapitate her. Okay. This is what she did. Whoa.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sorry.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's an extreme day, okay. I locked myself out of the house. It's been a rough morning. So here's how she did it. She's at the foot of the bed. She gets on her knees at the foot of the bed. She untucks the comforter, and then she puts it over her head and slides up halfway into the bed and then slides her head back out the bed and goes, look, I found a hair. How many hairs do you think are in there now?

[Ben Mandelker]

Exactly.

[Ronnie Karam]

He just left 10 more hairs at least. At the very least. 10 hairs.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was way more. Now off. Off with the hair or the hair? Well, the hair's already off, so I agree. I felt like that was a counterproductive way to remove a single hair, you know, like it was a Pyrrhic victory, as they would say, which is where you win the battle, but you. You win the battle, but you lose the war. The reason why I know this is because I went on a cruise, and back in 2018, everyone may remember, I was gone for a week. I went on a cruise with my family, and one of the stops was Albania. And I was like, well, I'm gonna go to Albania. When am I ever gonna go there? And this is, as you may remember. I asked my tour guide if he had heard of Leona, who. This is a real deep cut, because if you know who Bleona is, one of the stars of Euros of Hollywood, you.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm famous. Famous.

[Ben Mandelker]

A fully underrated Bravo show that only had one season. Bravo had, like, a series of great one season wonders back in, like, around 2015. Anyway, the tour guide was very proud that there was a battle in Albania where this Albanian leader named, like, Scant Scandal. Scandival, something like that. Scan Scandal won against.

[Ronnie Karam]

Victory is when you put an apple against a pear, and a pear wins because it's got some fuss on its belly.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm a lawyer at a storyteller. Oh, sorry. I went into Craig. But anyway, the point is that there was a battle that happened in Albania that was, like, won the battle, staved off the Ottomans for, like, a heartbeat. But then, like, the Ottomans came through anyway, and they lost the war, and it became known as a Pyrrhic victory. That is your history lesson today, everyone. You're welcome.

[Ronnie Karam]

The Ottoman also lost the war of the couch, because the couch always gets it back and the Ottoman doesn't. The Ottoman's just kind of there. It's like, optional count. Just win. Sorry, Ottomans. Sorry for your empire.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ottoman. Ottoman Empire. I mean, it's funny to think that our little sweet Ottomans next to our sofas had an empire. At one point they did.

[Ronnie Karam]

And now they're like, God damn it. Do you guys remember the time where we were actual beings and we weren't just things that people put their feet on?

[Ben Mandelker]

Now they're just like sidekicks to sofas. Like, there was a time when we weren't the side. We were the leaders. Now you were our sidekicks.

[Ronnie Karam]

That doesn't even make sense. God, no one cares if I get a stain.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. By the way, I think I I just want to say because I know I'm going to get some emails that the the leader whose name I forgot scanned Scanda something a very important person in Albanian history was not part of this battle for the the it was King Pyrus. And so that's why it's called a pic Pyric victory, because it was King Pyrus who did let the victory. Okay, so it's a great story everyone. And this all of course relates to below deck because this is of course a great illustration of the Peric victory is Marina's hair coming out while she removes a single hair under a comforter.

[Ronnie Karam]

If King Pyrus knew that one day this is what he'd be reduced to, a below deck recap. Oh God, it's time for a commercial. It's time for a Krappens commercial. Have you ever wondered how a circus.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

Early and ad free by joining Wondery. Hello, I'm Dax Shepard.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I'm Monica Padman and we are in our seventh year of hosting actors.

[Ronnie Karam]

Musicians, athletes, presidents, CEOs, scientists and professors. Monica and I do three weekly shows.

[Ben Mandelker]

With celebrities on Monday, experts on Wednesdays, and crazy stories from listeners on Fridays.

[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

We regularly get sides of our guests.

[Ronnie Karam]

That were previously unknown and it is.

[Ben Mandelker]

A celebration of all the messiness that makes us human.

[Ronnie Karam]

We like it here.

[Ben Mandelker]

We love it here. We're chatterboxes and it's a good example excuse to talk.

[Ronnie Karam]

Also, we're friends barely hanging on by a thread.

[Ben Mandelker]

We're so excited to officially be A.

[Ronnie Karam]

Part of the Wondery Network. So follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery.

[Ben Mandelker]

App or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ronnie Karam]

And subscribe to armchair expert on YouTube. So Serena is talking about making toasties for crew lunch, and Alicia's like, is there a toasty machine? Excuse me, you lazy ass. Apparently there's a toasty machine. What is a toasty machine? A toaster.

[Ben Mandelker]

Is it a toaster? I assume it's a toaster, you know, but the thing is this. You've got a flat top. Make it on the flat tops, Right? Like, I've become. I'm a late in life convert to toasting bread in a skillet. This is something I never even really knew was a true option until I was listening to a podcast called the Recipe, which I love with Kenji Lopez Alt and Deb Perlman, and they talked about toasting bread in a skillet. And I was like, I'm try it. And I'm telling you, if you've got, like a nice piece of bread and you toast it in a skillet, it is life changing. It is so much better than a toaster or toaster oven. That's my.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's how I make my bagel sandwiches.

[Ben Mandelker]

You just put it right into a skillet.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I've made you one.

[Ben Mandelker]

Get out.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, you put it.

[Ben Mandelker]

It gets such a beautiful char.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, you put some butter on there, though, the way I do it. And then you, like, cook the shit out of those bagels until they're nice and brown and toasty and buttery. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wow.

[Ronnie Karam]

So there's a toasting machine. So now it's four hours till charter, and Vian and Adair are washing the deck. And Vian's like, oh, I think I should share something with you. And she's like, up here, of course. Light Bud light. Whatever it is, I'm down.

[Ben Mandelker]

No. Yes. Well, I. I don't know if you know what's going on. I really don't know what's going on. What are you trying to say to me? Was it, you have to give me a little bit more context? And he's like, well, it's a little bit of a thing going on with Marina and Zarina. Oh, they rhyme. Yeah, I got that. I know about that. Okay, back to work. No, no, no, no, no. There's more to it than that. Ah, how can there be more to it?

[Ronnie Karam]

I used to date a guy named Bill, and I also did another guy named Will. It was the most confusing I ever heard in my life that was happening to you.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, yeah, one time I was texting a guy named Bob and a guy named Rob. Turned out the same person. How does someone named Bob. How do they have the two different nicknames, Bob and Rob? Why don't you choose one? You know what I'm saying?

[Ronnie Karam]

Then I got back on Tinder and I met a Rob Bob. What the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Turns out Bill and Will are also the same nickname. What the hell?

[Ronnie Karam]

Try to date a Billy Bob after you dated the Bob Robin.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, God, I was so confused. When I watched the Hobbit, I was like, bilbo Bag is. That's like half the guys I just dated.

[Ronnie Karam]

So he's like, actually, there was between me and Marina and Serena. And she's like, oh, and you. Oh. And he's like, but I told them it's not going to work. And she's like, so what, do you just feel bad? Like, what's the story? I've got. I'm crabbing in the mud, like, what do you want? And he's like, no, it's the other part of the story. So she asked me, is there anyone that you're into? And I said, yes, but unfortunately we are working together. And she's like, oh, that's sweet. Harry's gonna love that.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, no, I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. No, no, you won't make me feel. I come from the world of mudding. I don't get uncomfortable. It's like, okay, well, I think you're really cool and I thought I'd share that with you. Oh, thanks. You know, well, we still have a lot of time to go slow, so let's go slow. This is like. This is the first time we've seen so many people promote slow romances on Blowtech. Although in her case, she just wants no romance. Let's be honest.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. She's like, oh. I mean, look, we are in our great team and everything, but he's not really my type of guy. Okay? I want my guy to have a southern accent, a big lifted truck. I mean, you know, at our wedding, I want him to sing I hope you Damn. Something like that, you know? What's it got on this? What's it got on his iPhone? Music, you know, I need something like, with trucks in it. Want it to be about trucks or. Jesus. It was. What do you even listen to? He drives a Cooper.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's so disinterested in him. This is so funny.

[Ronnie Karam]

She goes, you think. You think when he's gonna pull up, he's gonna roll down the window in his lifted King Ranch. No, he drives a Mini Cooper.

[Ben Mandelker]

Stupid puss. So then preference sheet meetings, like, all right, everyone, it's another group of ladies. Caroline is a trial attorney and a philanthropist, and she's reuniting with friends from San Francis, San Diego and Perth, Australia. So on night one, they want to have a tropical themed evening, and then on day two, they want to go on a biking tour and visit a tortoise sanctuary, which I knew, Ronnie, you were excited about because it was like, cute animals. And then they also aren't really cute.

[Ronnie Karam]

But this was a cute, though.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is actually a really cute tortoise. I think tortoises are. I agree they're not that cute, but this. But they're. Well, they are inherently. I think that turtles and tortoises, they have like, an inherent cuteness because they got that big. That big old shell, and that big old shell is so cute that it's. That's cute. But they're so. But the thing is, they're so big that they kind of lose the key. Little turtle. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Remember when I had that little pig, Spanky, and I had to take them to that farm? They had a tortoise that was as big as a backyard. I was like, holy crap, it looks like a spaceship. I think the best thing about tortoises is, like, you go see them when you need to feel young, you know, because, like, as you get older, especially somewhere like la, there's like fewer and fewer aging people because, you know, they move. But, you know, you just see young people everywhere. And then it's nice, you know, you can go see a turtle and be like, God, you're 200 years old. Fuck, yeah. I'm only 49, so suck my dick, turtle.

[Ben Mandelker]

There's a neighborhood. There's a neighborhood turtle around here. Tortoise. I. Although I haven't seen it in forever, maybe the owner moved away, but, you know, you go walking down the sidewalk and there. There would be. The lady and her tortoise would be down there and, like, it was. It was pretty cute. I'm actually going to say tortoises are cute because you know what? They eat grass. Like, it's a. Like it's an ice cream cone. When they see a blade of grass, they're like, they're so happy. It's like they've never. They're like, oh, my God, do I get to have grass today? And they just sit there and they chomp on that blade of grass and they are. They are just so delighted. It's Adorable.

[Ronnie Karam]

We're gonna get to see him in a minute. So they also want to tour with a picnic on the Iconic. And then they're gonna. They're gonna go on the Tinder, and then they're gonna go to Coconut Grove for a picnic. I mean, this is amazing, guys. And then the picnic can go set up when the guests are away. And then maybe we crew with the bike so that we're on radio contact. And, you know, everything needs to be coordinated because this is a whole day of traveling around and it's going to require a lot of coordination. Okay. And Vion's just kind of staring out into space. He's like, what rhymes with love?

[Ben Mandelker]

Love. I know he's falling in love. So then Jason starts telling us more. He starts telling us about, I guess this island or location called La Dig, which sounds like he's saying La Dick. And he's like, well, Ladig has a number. Has the number one beach in the world at the moment. And it's just beautiful turquoise water and white sand and granite mountains and the Tortoise sanctuary. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. And that's why people travel all around the world to go to the Seychelles, which is why it's a shame that they wound up on our charter boat, because you pay a lot of money to have really mediocre service.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, unfortunately, the trip to Ladyk is being planned by a man who can only think with Ladique. So good luck.

[Ben Mandelker]

Good luck to him, Shakespeare.

[Ronnie Karam]

So three hours until charter. So Dare is like talking to Johnny and she's like, is your chest okay? You keep holding. He's like, I've been shot. And she's like, well, how about this? You ever been to a Waffle House? It's like, no. And she goes, what? You would love a Waffle House. You eat waffles and wait for somebody to fight. It's amazing.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, I don't even know what waffle is. Oh, God. So then now. So Zarina tastes Alicia's soup. And it's. The seasoning is not really strong, but, you know, she's young and she's new and she's green, etc, and then vyond. And then everyone's working, of course. And Harry's like, where's Vyon? While everyone is slaving away, Vyon is writing Adair a love note. And he. He reads us or tells us. He's like. He's like, adair. Well, country music is. Sorry, country music is playing in the background here. That was not Part of that's not part of his poem. But he's like. He's like, clearly those beautiful green eyes and beautiful smile have taken over. And all I'm thinking about is the next time I'm going to see you again to feel these crazy butterfly feelings in my tummy again. Your presence. Light up a room. I love you. When you're gonna see her again. You're her boss. You see her every, like, five minutes.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And this definitely goes to show, you know, everybody's saying, like, don't give a man too much attention because they're not interested in that. You have to pretend you don't like him. I mean, in this case, she really doesn't like him. But look how well it works. Like, he's got people who like him all over the place. And he's like, nope, nope, nope, nope. They like me too much. And then the one that doesn't like him, he's like, oh, my God, I have to marry her. I can't stop thinking about her.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And, you know, this is. This is probably the most unappetizing gesture for Adair. I mean, this. She said she wants a guy in a truck and to give, like, someone who's gonna give her a beer and go shoot pool or something like that and then just get this love poem. Disgusting. This is mini Cooper Love 101.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So now everyone's noticing Vi's not there and they're doing provisions and stuff, and Lara's lifting all these heavy boxes. And Johnny's like, don't lift. There's so many men. Why would you lift? And she's like, but where? I do not see one. If you could show me one, that would be nice. Because, you know, Vian's off writing letters. God knows where all these guys are. So she just does it. And they're talking about air conditioning. And Vian's like. She's like, vian, could you maybe do this? Because I'm doing these back and forth. So maybe could you carry some stuff? And he's like, but we have to carry it all the way down. So he picks the down slope and leads the women.

[Ben Mandelker]

By the way, the stews are going to the provisioner and to the boat with the stuff. And Vian's just standing there in the doorway while everyone else is, like, bringing stuff down to the galley. But basically the Stu's are supposed to be doing the interior part of this. Instead they're out doing the decans part of it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes. So he's getting worse every week, this guy he's getting worse and worse at his job. So then Lara's like, bye. Vion's a princess. And he's like, oh, how am I a princess if I'm fucking helping? Would a princess stand at a dock and watch people pass by with boxes? No.

[Ben Mandelker]

Would a princess isolate himself, isolate herself away and write love letters to. To admirers? It's like, yes, actually. So then Lara's like, the boys can have boys. She's gonna give the everyone Hawaiian shirts for tonight because it's a charter, which means it's time to have the guys come out shirtless again. Every single charter, she does this.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, now she's, she's getting worse. Like she's, she's putting metallic booty shorts, like these, like, skin little short shorts for the guys. I mean, look, every time it's getting to be like they're going to start getting pissed soon. I mean, Vyon does get pissed, but not really because of this. He's like, yes, or for personal reasons, but I ain't doing that. Fuck you. I'm not wearing fucking booty shorts every night without shirts. I'm not even paid to do this job. This is your job. Why are you putting me in a costume job to pass plates? That's your job. Bam.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Lara meets with the stews and she basically tells Marina that she's going to stay on housekeeping because she's really good at it. And Marina is of course upset about it because this is what happens. This is the lot in life on Below Deck. When you're good at laundry and housekeeping. You get stuck there the whole season and then you complain about it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, and she's like, oh, I'm pissed. You know, compliments will go so far when you don't see the light of day for three days. It's not fair. Well, don't worry. You just left a whole head of hair in a bed, so maybe you'll get moved off that job.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, seriously. And Laura's basically like, I've got a job here and I've gotta. I've gotta choose the best people for the job. So it is what it is. So now it's 30 minutes, the charter, last minute looks and everything, double checking toiletries in the shower, etc, and then Harry's asking Alicia if she's ready for her first charter. And you know, she's like, yeah. And so they're all getting ready and then Johnny finds his booty shorts and he's like, oh, I found booty shorts in bed. Should I wear for Alicia. Hey. You have the same, bro. And they're like, oh, God, more booty. Another night of booty. Short service for the guests.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So he's like, Lara's. He asked how Lara's doing, and she's like, oh, my God, I'm kind of hot, but fine. He's like, is it as hot outside as I am on the inside? And she's like, oh, my God. If you need a fan, go to the galley. All right. They're all down there.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So, okay, so Lara's talking to Zarina, and she's like. She's like, you know, I really like Vihaan, but every time I see him, he's just chatting to Adele. Like, he just doesn't fucking do anything, you know? And Adele. And Vian's, like, talking to Harry, and he's like, adele makes me just so nervous, bro. I mean, look, look, I wrote this letter for her. Harry's like, really? Well, you better take it a little bit slower before you send that letter. I would hold onto it for another week and a half and then give it one line at a time.

[Ronnie Karam]

Letter. A letter is third base. You can't do that. Haven't even met her parents yet. He's like, but read it, bro, because it's got a lot of depth. Oh, poor Vyond. It does not have a lot of depth, Vian. Poor, sad Gogo Vian. So Zarina is like, oh, Jesus is so hot. Can someone turn the temperature down? My tits are sweating. So now the guests arrive, and we learn a little bit about Caroline from her bio that pops up. She's from La Jolla. She's a trial attorney, a philanthropist. She has her own parking spot at her favorite winery, Napa. So she's also a drinker and a driver.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she's also an alcoholic. Good for her.

[Ronnie Karam]

So thankfully a lawyer, because she's got to get herself out. A lot of DUIs.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know.

[Ronnie Karam]

Like, way to throw Carolyn under the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bus, you know, she doesn't have a parking spot. She knows she's. When they asked her to fill out the forms, like, well, you know, they love me out there. I practically have a parking spot. You know, this is just what I am. Like, she probably drove her car through the wall. So they come on board, and everyone says hello. And then one of Caroline. Caroline says to one of her friends, like, hey, just so you know, the captain is majorly checking you out. And it cuts to Captain Jason looking, like, as far away from the women as possible. Yeah, he's into you all Right.

[Ronnie Karam]

I need to crack on with the platters. Maybe we should do, like, a little hummus plate or something. So Alicia starts making that, and meanwhile, Adair's doing the tender, and people are doing the doc, and now they're on route to LA Dick, so.

[Ben Mandelker]

Damn right we are. I've been on route to the Dick for a long time, okay? And I find it each and every time I try to find it.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Alicia has agreed to make Thai food for the crew lunch. Surely this is gonna work out great. And Serena and her talk about how much they. How great they are at working together and stuff. And Serena's like, you know, Alicia's amazing. Normally, I like to sit on a counter and really ask the person, what do you do? What's your favorite color? Where have you gone to school? Do you know what chiffonade means? Do you like French bulldogs or Chihuahuas? What's your favorite kind of knife pairing? A chef's, you know, sort of stuff like that. But I learned with the last one that that makes people run away. So I've just decided to hand her crew food to see if anybody dies.

[Ben Mandelker]

So I've learned a really important question to ask in these moments on the counter is to say, when you put on a shirt, do you put your arms through the holes first? Do you put your head through the hole first? Or do you do a weird thing where you drape the shirt over your entire body and keep your hands directly at your side? And then once your shirt is on, you slither your arms up, up through the shirt and through the armholes like a regular lunatic. Because then I might know we have problem.

[Ronnie Karam]

So the ladies are being wacky. They're, like, cracking up. Like, how do I open this door to go to the outside? What is not up? Honey, you need to press the button. I press the. Oh, my God, it opened again. Try and open it with my butt. Oh, I wouldn't open. I'm feeling darling.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, I got a parking spot at this doorway. So then Harry's asking where Adair is and everything. And Adair. Adair walks through walks. She arrives, saying, hey, looks, this looks yummy. So they all. It's just. They're talking. I don't know. Nothing really happens. Van is basically. He's just crushing, and he's like, we've put everything out there now that we can. You two. So Johnny and AD Go down for two hours. So they're going to go and have a prank. I don't know why I felt compelled to read that, but now we all know exactly when they know.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's what happens. It's like, I thought when you said.

[Ben Mandelker]

When I started reading it, I thought he was saying, now that I've put it out there, that I'm really into you. But no. He was like, no, we put the water toys out on the ocean and you can take a break.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Lara checks in with Brie. She's like, what's going on with Harry? She's like, I don't know. We've been out on a date. I told him my parents owned an ice cream shop. And then nothing. It's just like, hi. Bye. How was your night? Oh, I mean, what is that? She goes, so he needs to get into gear, then. Yeah. I mean, I think it's fizzling. What if it's fizzling? I think it's fizzling out, but we haven't talked about it. If a fizzle Fizzle is in a forest, but there's no one around to hear it fizzle. Are you even drinking a Diet Coke? I need more communication.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right, well, I'm just gonna sit over here and fantasize about going to my cottage in rural England with my dogs because you're annoying the hell out of me. Thank you so much.

[Ronnie Karam]

So, basically, what's happening to you is what's happened with Harry and every woman since he's ever been born. You're bored. She's like, maybe.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now Vyond is talking to Harry about this love letter situation. He's like, would you like me to read it out loud? And I was like, yeah, absolutely. But read it very slowly. You don't want to go too fast. He's like, all right. A dear. You speak your mind and there's no filter. And that I love. I love that the most. Never change that as it is. What makes you you. That is what makes you you. I mean, your accent. I love your accent. And Harry's like, oh, American accents. It's like, yeah. Makes my heart skip a beat. Well, you are special.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Harry's like, he likes her accent. I mean, she's got no inside voice. And she's like, yeah, background hair. Swing that truck over the load. No one likes that accent.

[Ben Mandelker]

Harry was way too accurate with that. So funny. Oh, my God.

[Ronnie Karam]

You've got the most romantic voice I've ever heard in my life. No, I've heard that before.

[Ben Mandelker]

Swing that jet ski back around the corner there, please. So now they all. That's what. Speaking of which, Water toys, party. Fun times. Lara's telling Bree they need to set up. Set up the dinner at a certain time. And then Vyond's trying to flirt, so he's like, sue Adair, was your break good? Yeah, I showered and washed my hair. It was real nice.

[Ronnie Karam]

I was trying to get more mud.

[Ben Mandelker]

Into it, honestly, but I couldn't do it.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Lara's like, well, you know, I didn't really want to get the boys in the underwear, so why don't we put some palm leaves on the front and the back? How about that? Bri, do that? And she's like, oh, my God, they're gonna love this. So Laura's like, well, they requested Seychelles island themed dinner, so, you know. Does silver hot pants scream Seychelles? Not really, but the women are gonna love it. I get to demean Harry again, so it's worth it.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Zarina's telling. Zarina's telling Jason that the. The boys are gonna be in. In booty pants again. And she's like, oh, and by the way, I don't think I told you, Jason, but. But I was. I filmed the boys just sitting having a laugh on the job. This is my polite way of tattling on them and saying they're not doing their. Because while Harry and Von were. Were reading that love letter, they were on, like, a monitor in the. In the galley and so forgot that Serena totally recorded them, as she should have for proof when she needs it when they accuse her of, like, not pulling her own weight for some reason.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Serena shows the captain. She's like, oh, forgot to tell you've got some videos about the boys sitting around. And he's just like, meh, they love a chat, the old dick. What are you gonna do? So he doesn't really care. So then, you know, he probably cares more that they're tattletailing, honestly. So then Lara's like, you know, Vian, can we get someone to set up for dinner? And he's like, no. She's like, why? He's like, because Harry's. Harry's down and I need a dare for water toys and part of our love story. I can't let her get out of my sight.

[Ben Mandelker]

He probably is like, I want to have time alone with Adair so I can flirt with her. She's like, yes. I just feel like it's a bit like the boys are all kind of just like, chilling and it's just a bit annoying to see us getting it done as quickly as possible. And then Adair's always just like, wandering around like she's got nothing to do. He's like. He's like, well, that's crazy. And he's like, no, it's just like, that's just the way things are with you guys. Someone could be doing this, you know, things like that. You could be productive and not standing around reading poetry to each other on the closed circuit television.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And he was like, but then if we're gonna walk off deck and start giving you a hand in interior, then they're going to start taking the piece out of that. She's like, well. And he says, well, you know, this is. Honestly, this is very gray for me. This is a very gray area. And she's like, okay, well, I don't even get to send my girls to eat. And he's like, but what else is there for me to do? And she's like, give him a kick up the ass and have them do more. And he's like, okay. He's like doing that kind of stupid blink, but he's starting to simmer.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And this happens, like on every summer.

[Ronnie Karam]

Is when you calm down. Right. So he's starting to boil.

[Ben Mandelker]

And this every season of blow deck, the. The boson is always so such a dick about, like, helping out. Like, this is the time you need service. You have. If you have six people on your boat that need to be served dinner and you need to help, like, there's a lot, like, you can only. And you've got multiple levels. Why not help? Because the guys aren't doing anything. The boat is anchored, the toys are in. Nothing's being cleaned right now. Everyone's just standing around. So Lara is very annoyed. She's like, I've never worked with anyone like Vian. He hasn't shown any initiative. He's all about himself, and he doesn't have the passion for the job. He will get a smaller booty short than usual tonight. So Vian's like, I mean, how does Lara even have the free time to monitor my deck crew? Because obviously your stuff is not getting done. So I wonder where the problem is.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Serena and Lara are planning the lunch thing, and Vyon is saying, you know, he talking to the guy or he's talking to the crew, his deck crew. And he's like, you know, with the interior, I feel like we're helping them a lot, but obviously this is a difference. So I don't get it. But my advice would be to just don't stand around and make it look like you're not doing anything. So just walk in circles. No leaning. If you've got line. If you've got time to lean, you've got time to pretend that you're not leaning. So Lara doesn't ask you to do shit because it's not our job.

[Ben Mandelker]

So rather than actually help out, he is. He's telling his crew to pretend like you're working.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

That way you don't have to actually work.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. He's not saying help out more. He's saying pretend you're busy so you don't have to help.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Johnny's like, well, if. If you need to help, tell me. I mean, I'm not going to say no. You. Johnny's like, I'll help. He's like, no, no, no, don't. Don't help. Pretend like you're going to help. He's like, I feel bad saying this, but because it's not the truth. And it is like, wow, you're really hurting my feelings right now. And he's like, I'm so sorry. Love story ruin.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Johnny is like, I don't care who's right or who's wrong. Here's what's right. My heart. And this is on the right path. You can argue with duties, but you cannot argue love.

[Ben Mandelker]

So. So Jason, he's having a very emotional charter. Jason calls vyond to the. The. To the. The captain's area, the captain's region of the boat. And he's basically saying, hey, we're gonna get. Dropping off guests at Ladique at 11. At 11, they're gonna get off, and then they're going to, I guess, go on their tour or whatever. But landing at 11, you figure it up, organize this whole tour thing, etc. Lead the team, talk to Lara, talk to the chef stuff, figure this out.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then, let's see. So now Johnny is really hungry, right? And so Laura's like, okay, well, once Adair's had dinner, then she can move up to cabins. So Laura's like, well, we're gonna serve the first court in a Hawaiian shirt. The second course, you'll have the shirt open. The third course, you're wearing this. And we're. We're serving a fourth course, which is just your balls on a plate. I just like all of the testicles on one giant plate.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's just a pro. It's a progression. So then Johnny is like, well, I don't know if I'm gonna fit in that. And he starts. He starts eating some of this Thai curry. And he starts. But he starts. His reaction to spice was hilarious because I feel like normally when people eat spicy things, they're like, whoa. You know, they do that thing that you fan your mouth, which is funny because it's not like that really ever helps anything because you're not really creating any sort of, like, wind currents, but it's kind of like a gesture. Like, guys, my mouth is on fire. But he starts being.

[Ronnie Karam]

He starts.

[Ben Mandelker]

He starts acting like he's having a reaction. He's like, I thought it was. I thought an alien was gonna pop out of his chest.

[Ronnie Karam]

Did you ever see that video of cats tasting things for the first time?

[Ben Mandelker]

They'll be like, no, I wish we.

[Ronnie Karam]

Let a cat taste ice cream. And the cat's like, that's how Johnny was. Their face just freezes with their mouth open, like they're petrified.

[Ben Mandelker]

Their.

[Ronnie Karam]

Their taste buds don't know what to do. It was so funny. And he's like, I'm crying over here. And Harry's like, I'll try it. Oh, my God. God is really hot. Jeez. And Johnny's like, I'm hungry. I don't care. I'll eat it.

[Ben Mandelker]

And they're all like these big, burly guys, and they're all just, like, dying with the spicy food. They're like, ah. And Alicia's like, sorry, I love spice.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Harry's just like, oh, he's gonna eat it because he's in love. So it's like the curry warms up. My whole incis. It almost came out of my eyes. Keep on eating, keep on smiling. I do it for love.

[Ben Mandelker]

Curry eyes. So then. Then Alicia's. She's so proud of herself. She's like, yeah, it's. It's a pretty diabolical curry. So. So she's so funny because she's, like, just smiling. So now it's time for service. Time for the food to go up. Zarina's making an enormous snapper. She has this big ass snapper that's salt baked. It's big fish. She looks. I feel like Zarina does a good fish. I feel like she. Whenever she has to do, like, some nice filets or whatever, she really kills it. Right?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. She does great with fish and soups. Loves a soup. So they've climbed 707 stairs today. We see on the screen. And so Marina's showing Adair how to clean and stuff. And then Lara presents the snapper with mango salad. Bon appetit. And then the guys come out in their shirts. They're buttoned. It's crazy. It's first course. So then Alicia is asking to clean Stuff. So they're doing great in the galley because Alicia's like, please, let me clean things. So Serena's in love, and. And then Alicia's like, you know, it's a lot of work and it's a lot of adjustment, but, you know, God, Serena's a good. A good boss to have. You know, it's really nice to be around a woman who doesn't look exactly like me and excel in every single goddamn way. So it's nice.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then. And then Marina, meanwhile, is talking to Adair, and Marina's like, sold the up type. And Adira's like, well, I thought I do, but I don't know. I don't know how well that's working out for me. I mean, this is probably time for me to switch it up. She's like, what's your type thing? I don't know. Like, a redneck vibe. And Maria's like, oh, like, woman, bring me a beer. Like, gross ketchup on. On white tank top. You know, just like, sitting in. In lounge chair, throwing tinfoil at tv, watching football and picking nose. Yeah, exactly like that. That's perfect. I love that.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. You know, I just. I just want someone to tell me, bring me a damn beer. You know, sometimes that's just life. And she's like, I was joking there. That is so sad.

[Ben Mandelker]

That was sar. Like, you want someone to show up in a pickup truck covered in mud, doing, like, donuts in the parking lot and going off and drinking and driving down the. Yeah, that's perfect. That sounds like the dream.

[Ronnie Karam]

Sweat stains, ball hair, booger rockets, you know? Typical guy. That's what I'm into. It's a gross God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hey, you ever see Panic Room? Remember how Dwight Yoakum looked in that movie? That was so hot.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now the next course is served, and the shirts are open, and the guests are like, wait a minute. Now their shirts open? And Leon's like, don't worry. There's one more dish to go. Don't spoil it. Jesus. This is. This is a progressive surprise dinner. Don't tell them what's coming.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then it's gonna be a local chicken curry with a caramelized pineapple. Enjoy.

[Ronnie Karam]

So right now, Vyon's totally fine with getting into the booty shorts, which they're currently. Which they're doing right now. And he's like, get the shirts off, boys, boys. You know what? Let's do it for the tip. Because when you earn €2500, you're not gonna fucking care about wearing this shit. So just put it off. So he does, and he comes into the kitchen, and Serena's like, whoa, hold on a second, Please, nobody stare at my eyes.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wow, that's really beauty. So then Adair's meanwhile grossed out. She's like, oh, I see your inner thigh hair. And I couldn't even imagine eating my cake and turn over and have that silver crotch in my face. No, thank you. So whatever happened to Levi's? So the guys are, like, taking forever, by the way, to chant to get into booty shorts. They're taking forever. And they're sitting around a lot during this entire thing. The stews are going up and down the staircase. Zarina is plating Alicia's play. Everyone's, like, working so hard. And the guys are just sitting there, joking around, taking their time. And Lara's like, hello, Hello. Come on, hurry up, everyone. You know, just because your strippers doesn't mean you have to be lazy. It's like. Like, I don't really understand the correlation between those two concepts, but fine. She's like, come on, come on, come on, do this. Hurry up. So Lara's basically bossing them around because they're dragging their asses. And she's like, get up there.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And Vian is not liking that. So he's like, look, I don't like this because my butt cheeks are hanging out. Let's just get it over with. She's like, you just did a striptease the other day. You rubbed your whole tent on a woman's face. I think you'll be fine. And he's like, well, but I wasn't so naked. I had underwear on. Okay, your underwear were the same size as this. And she said, I thought you were a world class stripper. No one said world class. They said beefcakes.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, he was.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's not world class.

[Ben Mandelker]

So his whole thing is that the underwear he was wearing fit him better than. So he's, like, self conscious, or he's claiming to be self conscious all of a sudden about.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like a stripper diva. He's like, well, I can do it when my booty shorts fit me, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

And we're like, why is he all of a sudden being so particular about his booty shorts? I mean, look, we all are. We all know what it's like to put on a shirt that's like. You're like, oh, God, I hate the way I look in this shirt, or something like that. So for a moment, I was like, oh, I can understand it. But then he says, I'm her equal on this boat and she's bossing me around like I'm one of the minions. It's fucking annoying. Like, this is really pissing me off. I'm like, oh, yeah, so it's not about shorts. It's because you're fragile.

[Ronnie Karam]

Because listen, I mean, I've never had a job where I haven't been asked to put on like really skin tight booty shorts. And that's it, you know, So I know what it's like. Like, you really need to get the right ones. And I think if he had started this by saying, listen, you've had us naked every dinner and it's starting to feel creepy. Like, can we just not be naked anymore? Like, if he had started that, I think that everybody has the right to be like, girl, I'm not getting in booty shorts for every single dinner. I think everybody has that right. But the fact that he was all gung ho and like, let's do it for the tip. And now he's mad that he's getting bossed around and now he's using it like, how dare you treat me like this. It's like, okay, Noah's buying it, buddy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Exactly. So they go up, they do it, everyone's amused, etc, and. But V, afterwards, Von's really, he's upset. He's like, that was not fun, this. I was like, well, why did you do it then? He's like, well, what are you going to say no? He's like, well, you could have said no. He's like, but why? Why could we not be in our Hawaiian board shorts? It's, it's kind of funny because he's like, I hate being bossed around by Lara, but unfortunately I have to listen to everything that she.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, well, you can't play the card like we're equals. You can't boss me around. Then why are you saying that? You had to listen. You could have just said, no, I'm not gonna do it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And Harry's like, well, what's the difference between that and Speedos? I really don't get it. And he's like, well, I feel uncomfortable with my butt cheeks all hanging out. You know, the whole thing is going up my butt crack. I mean, it was too far. It was too far. And Harry's like, oh, okay. He's like, he put them on, looked at himself in the mirror, and he was like, yep, I'm gonna wear them. And he served them them. And so obviously this is about something else.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. And to be fair, I think also Harry is lacking empathy in this department because to him, booty shorts is like wearing a full tuxedo. Because, like, normally it's a budgie smuggler, so it gets smaller.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, that's true. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Skimpier. I should.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, this is the Parker of swimwear.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't really understand is the hoop dress of swimming. So. So. So Zarina's asking him how it went and he's like, oh, I think it went a bit too far. I mean, that's just not usually a piece of clothing. She's like. And Serena's like, But, like, was it a good fit? They, like, they were. They are quite tight. I just didn't feel comfortable in them. She said, well, she knows she can't help but arrive. She ordered on off of Seychelles, Amazon, and this is just what they had. And I don't think she wrote to them saying, like, please give me the smallest. And Titus, booty short. He's like, but no. And Harry's saying, like, yeah, but no one's forcing you to do anything. You know, it was peer pressure. Yes, but you don't have to. You're your own person. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

And meanwhile, Serena puts the shorts over her clothes. It's not that tight. Do not. Does it. Do I look as hot to you now as you look to me in these things? Come on. He's like, oh, God. So Harry's just like, I don't think it was her intention to hurt you. And he's like, I need to leave. He's getting mad that no one will be on his side because he's trying to do this. Like, I have. I'm a victim of harassment. And they're like, okay, sir.

[Ben Mandelker]

And no one's on his side. And the reason why no one's on his side is partially because he's a lazy worker. So if he had been, like, a really good worker, he would have built up a lot of, like, social capital on this boat. But he's not a good worker. So he's really. His laziness chews into all of his social capital. And he doesn't realize that. So now in this moment, where he wants to spend some social capital to get people on his side about the booty shorts issue, everyone's like, no, you were lazy.

[Ronnie Karam]

So you get, yeah, I'm again, because I know that people are going to be like, well, if the roles were reversed, if the roles were reversed, I would say, no, you can't have the ladies coming out here serving the bikinis every meal. That's creepy. And the guys would be a lot creepier about it. The guy. Guests would be a lot creepier about it. And also, if, like I said earlier, if he had said earlier, like, I'm not comfortable with this. I don't like it. And she made him, then that would be different. But the fact that he okayed it, went through with it, and now is like, what this is. This is just unfairness, I don't think is.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, if the rules were reversed, it'd be a whole different story. Of course it would be, because it's a different context. But it's not. They're not reversed. So therefore, Vyon, you suck.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, Vyon sucks. So then we get a romance scene with Harry and Brie. So he's like, all right, here we go. Brie, how was your day? How was it? Second? He's like, first day of charter. She goes, yeah, they're nice. And he's like, is that so? Yeah, really nice. All right, bye. She's like, oh, my God. What does it mean?

[Ben Mandelker]

Why. Why is Harry walking so slowly out the. Out of the room? Just try and take it a little slower, that's all. Don't mind me. One step at a time.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now Vion wants to slip the letter to Adair, but he doesn't want. He doesn't want to put it on the bed because then Marie Maria will see it, and then she'll pick it up. And Harry's like, I think if you write it to Adair, she won't pick it up. And he's like, oh, I just need it in the right hands because I've had a thing with Marina, you know, like, do I write my name with, like, love? And it's like, no, please don't write love. Please. Please. You've got at least three years of courtship before you do that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen, I don't want Marina to find this letter. So I'm going to put it in the most discreet place exactly where you put your foot when you walk into her room by sliding it under the door. Like, right. If it were on the. If it were on Adair's bed, that would actually be more description than just sliding it under the door and just having it right there in the middle of the floor for everyone to see.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Vian's all nervous. He's like, oh, my God. I just don't want Marina to throw it away. God, that was an epic opus. I wrote so much thought and so much time, so many words, you know, it was very hard to write. I just have butterflies in my stomach.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then he slides it onto the door. Jason checks in with Alicia to see how her first day was, and it was good. And then Marina goes in the cabin, and of course, she opens the door, and she steps right on the letter. And she's like, what the. And she's like, there's a letter. And so she doesn't throw it out, because she's not. She's not the crazy person that. That Vanna's trying to make her out to be. So she's like, I dare you. Got mail. It's like, oh, finally, a male around here. Did you bring a beer? No. Like, let her mail.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, did he ask him to bring me. Did he ask me to bring him a beer? And I don't want to read it.

[Ben Mandelker]

It.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, well, it's three pages. It's very Ross from Friends. I don't know what that is. What the hell? Could you, I don't know, reference it to Grace Under Fire or something?

[Ben Mandelker]

Something that involves ducks and dynasties.

[Ronnie Karam]

Like that. This young girl would be referencing reruns of Grace Under Fire.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know thoroughly, too. Can you mention Brett Butler?

[Ronnie Karam]

He got in the original flavor Roseanne. Reference that. I like long letters. The longest thing I like to read is license plate.

[Ben Mandelker]

So. So meanwhile, Bri is checking with Lara. Bri and Lara are looking at the fish in Captain Jason's room, and they're looking at the. And Lara's telling them Bree. What the names are, and she's like, yes. And this one right here, this. This relaxed one, his name is Vian. Because he's just floating around, not doing much and wearing booty shorts. I've never seen booty shorts on a fish before. Yeah, it was hard to find, but, you know, Amazon really has everything.

[Ronnie Karam]

Now Adair reads her letter, and it is so fucking funny because he reads it. They put him in, like, a little bubble of him reading the whole letter. You know, he's like, adair, I know we are working together and spending a lot of time together, and I want to keep it professional at all times, but I won't lie in saying I don't have no feelings for you. It's like, oh, my God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Don't write a lot of double negatives there. I won't lie in saying I don't have no feelings. Well, first of all, it's grammatically questionable, but so wait, I won't lie by saying I don't have no feelings.

[Ronnie Karam]

Now, he might be just trying to talk like someone that she can understand. You know what I mean?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I don't have no feelings for you.

[Ronnie Karam]

I just wanted. I just want a man to look me in the eye and say, listen, I don't got no feelings for you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, if you say, I don't got no feelings, that means you do not have no feelings. That means you do have feelings. But he says, I don't want to lie and say I do have feelings for you. So is this letter saying that? Like, if he says he has feelings, he's lying? Is this a letter saying, I want you to know I'm not romantically attracted to you? Because I think technically that's what he knows.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's go go, boy. English. Nobody knows, you know? So he's like, there's still so much I would like to know about you. I feel like we have only touched the surface of what lies underneath. I hope I get the opportunity to not. Not explore those un. Shallows that are maybe depths, but not too shadows with you.

[Ben Mandelker]

I hope I get to explore those depths, specifically the ones in your vagina with my penis. She's like, ow. And so they're just kind of looking.

[Ronnie Karam]

At it like, Jesus Christ is longer than the Bible. And Marina's like, girl, you better spill the tea. She's like, well, I think it says something like, your energy is bright in a room, and something like that. I mean, I guess that's what he said.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, it's sweet. She's just herself, beta. So Harry is. Harry's talking to Lara, and he's like, so, by the way, I'm sitting on your bench. How do you feel? She's like, good. He's like, so, what's the lowdown? What's the gossip? Should I do something else for Bree? You know, I don't want to go too fast, you know, So I was kind of thinking of maybe walking up to her, smiling and then walking away. I don't know. She goes, well, listen, what are you doing right now to make her. Her interested? Are you doing anything? Have you shown. Do you even flirt with her? It's a flirt. That's like. That's like second base. That's right before. That's right before third base, which, as we know, was touching her. Touching her shoulder.

[Ronnie Karam]

So, I mean, it's basically like going on to the dark web. Not that I've ever done it, but, I mean, I've done things like this. Don't tell anybody. I don't want anyone to find out. But I've done things like, say, how's your morning?

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, yeah, I just, you know, you have to be careful because otherwise a girl can just kind of float off. And, you know, the thing is this. She's like a mortal. So don't really this up. So make a move.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my God.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's. She's like, I don't think she knows that you like her. So he's like, I'm so shocked right now. I can't believe what Lara's saying. I mean, last child of season. I moved too quickly with Margot, and now I'm being told to move too slowly. Well, the difference is you were moving quickly with someone who didn't really like you. That girl just wanted you in the friend zone. This girl does like you. So you can move.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes, exactly.

[Ronnie Karam]

Quickly. Yeah, you can move more, not slowly.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, I'm not lying when I say I don't go no faster. So the crew is waking up. It's the morning, and everyone's saying, hi, Morning. Hello. Hello. Adair and beyond have, like, a little hug. And. And Viana's. Because she's like. Because she hugs him. He's like, oh, good. She's not mad at me about that note. And he's like, no, that I know I have a chance. I'm on cloud nine. Okay. And then they're talking. Jason's telling everyone, get ready, because the pic. This is the day of the big picnic. They're gonna leave at 11. There's a lot of organization that needs to be done, and surely Vian has been focused on that since he learned about the plan. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now it's Lara, Serena, and Vihan. And they're like, okay, well, what's the plans for the thing? And he's like, like. I mean, you see it there. They're going on a bike ride. They're like, so do you have a plan? He's like, yeah, people will be with them on bikes. Probably Marina and a. And she's like, but I'm going to do the picnic. And he's like, okay, so Adair riding, then. And Johnny on the beach. And then chef, you, me. I mean, who cares? You know, beach bike, duh. There's radios. People can just communicate. And she's like. Adira's like, but will the radio work? And he's like, yeah, probably.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right, so I just need you to tell me what time I should be there to cook the lunch for everyone. He's like. He's like, well, you could be there. I don't know, like, 12, 4pm, 7pm, 1pm yesterday.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't know. Let's just say 12 of someday.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

And she's like, okay. And so Lara's like, I mean, what's going on in his head? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for the kids guests. I mean, what are they going to do? You need to make sure that the sandwiches are fresh when they get back from the tortoises.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then meanwhile, Harry's like, okay, I'm gonna step up my game. So he texts Bri and he says, I wish we had more time to talk while on Jada. Your kisses and hugs are the best part of my day. Wish we could have a proper snugger snuggle together. And she's like, oh, this made my day. Does he like me, though? I'm really still so confused. So she wrote back. She writes back saying, this made my day, and I always look forward to your hugs and kisses. And I love that she's really happy because she finally decided to flirt with her.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now it's the picnic time. So Lara's sending some people to set. She's telling Serena to set up with Johnny and she'll go with the guests and do the bike ride with Adair in them. And so Jason's radioing to get. It's getting swelly, so they're gonna have to go in a taxi. Okay. So they all start going over there. And Brett, well, first breakfast is served. And Serena's like, so first one you're gonna be making this is smoked salmon. Well, basically she's just cooking with Alicia, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So, yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

By the way, can I say something? Can I say something? And this is totally going back, but I forgot to mention it because this was, I thought, notable just with vyond complaining about everything. This is. This is. I'm totally stopping the flow, but I'm. I'm just. This was bothering me enough that I.

[Ronnie Karam]

Was just about to talk about making finger sounds. Just.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, don't worry. Because this bothered me enough that, like, I was thinking about it in the bathroom last night. I was like, you know what? I have to make this point on the podcast. And then I almost forgot to. But what I thought was so funny and what I really love about Blow Deck, they are so smart with their editing. This show is really a very sophisticated show. A way that they really tell storytell with very quick things. We saw that whole scene of Johnny and all the deckies eating that spicy curry. And they're all sitting around. They're in, like a bank. They're in their bank hat. They're, like, losing their minds because it's so spicy. They're coughing, they're sneezing, but they're all just sitting there. They're doing their thing. And there was this really quick shot in the middle of the service that Brie and Lara. Did you see this? They both had mugs of the curry, and they had to sneak a few spoonfuls off to the side. And they were like, oh, thank God. And they just were eating it, and then they went back to work. And I love that because this told the story of how these guys on the deck have all this time to laze around, and they're like, oh, my God, so spicy. And meanwhile, these girls are like, whatever, Fuck the spice. And they just pile and, you know, go right into it. And I just have to say I love that. I love that little scene because it told so much between the two departments. And I know has nothing to do with what's going on with the story right now, but it does speak to the larger story about why Vyon is setting such, like, Vion acting so insolent that he can't let other people help out, you know, and he's like, oh, but why? Why do we always have to help out? But meanwhile, your people are down there in the. In the crew mess. It's just sitting around being they. They have the luxury to. To be coughing over their hot curry.

[Ronnie Karam]

So anyway, yeah, you got to sit there and marinate in your being turned into rings of fire, so.

[Ben Mandelker]

Exactly.

[Ronnie Karam]

So load up the tender and get stuff across. So they're packed, packing, and Vion's like, oh, my God, you guys are so on top of it. I don't even have to give you direction. So I'm not going to. I'm tired. Geez.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then one of the guests, like.

[Ben Mandelker]

He literally backs out of this picnic.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, this guy's the worst. So now one of the guests is like, wish you were coming, Captain. He's like, someone's got to look after the ship, don't they? I'm working on some. Some kimono designs. I'm thinking this time they'll open the front and have, like, a silk belt or something like that. You can go ahead.

[Ben Mandelker]

I might not be at the tortoise sanctuary physically, but I will be there fashionably. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my new line of tortoise kimonos, debuting today on David.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now Harry has to help with rooms, and then the water taxi is loaded up, and so everybody heads over there There. So Von decides that he has time because he's backed out of doing anything. So he's going to make a romantic thing for Adair. Well, he's not going to make it. He's going to make somebody else make it. So he's like, you know what goes like cheese plates. So I'm going to make a cheese platter for Adair. And Harry's like, okay. And he goes. And then I'm going to give her a hug and I'm going to whisper in her ear, would you like to go on a date with me? I don't care if you're farting due to the dairy, I would love you anyway. And Harry's like, wait, yeah, you have to do that right in her ear. Like, do you want to go on a date with me? I wouldn't do that. It's very close. Ear work is like year four.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's very close to your lips touching. And that's. That's. That's not even. That's not even. That's not even home base. That's. That's grand slam, the kissing. He's like, yes, but that's what I want to do. And he's like, after you. Wait, you want to kiss her after you whisper? Are you even allowed to do that? Is that legal? He's like, yes. Okay, I'm gonna shower. So this guy has backed out of the pic, out of the picnic, and now he's spending his time hatching a cheese plate romance also. While in the meantime, the people who have arrived on the. On the coast, Johnny and. Johnny and Bree, they weren't even told what the landscape was gonna be. I think they thought it was a beach picnic. So they are barefoot. They don't even have shoes. So they have to walk through streets, lights, and all sorts of surfaces with prickly and scary things. You know, that's like hurting their souls, like. And it's also hot cement. It's.

[Ronnie Karam]

So why wouldn't they have shoes? So didn't they. Weren't they going on a bike ride? Who rides bikes barefoot?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, they. No, they didn't have shoes because they thought they were setting up a beach picnic, but it wasn't.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, I'm sorry. We're talking about the beach part. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know if we were there yet or not, but either way, I'm like. I was, like, so mad that they were not. They were not told to. That where. Where this picnic was supposed to be.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Harry's like, so what do you want me to do while you take a shower? And he's like, I don't care. He's like, I guess I'll show me some stainless or something. So he's taking all this time and squandering it instead of, like, getting out of work and stuff. So then Vyon goes to Alicia in the kitchen, and he's like, so, Alicia, are you good at making cheese boards? And she's like, I mean, is this for you? And he goes, no. And she says, is it for the guest? And he's like, it's for a date. And she goes, oh, did you ask Adair out? And he's like, no, not yet, but I will. She goes, well, I mean, do you think she'll say yes? I mean, was she not slightly put off by the fact that you've gone through half the crew?

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, well, I've been here for 36 hours, and my twin wouldn't have said that, but I'm not my twin.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, no, I haven't. He gets really defensive. He's like, no, I haven't. She goes, oh, so it's just a rumor there? And he's like, I'm not into any of them, though. She goes, yeah, you should make your own cheese board. And he's like, oh, whatever. And he's like, no respect. And he, like, storms off. Why the should she stop? She's actually working. You're doing nothing. And you've got Harry also doing nothing. Make Harry cut a cheese board. And I love her now because she's like, get the knife out. I'll show you where the cheese is. But I'm busy. I mean, who the is this guy?

[Ben Mandelker]

But. Nah, I know, it was great. I love that she was not intimidated by the fact that, like, he was a, like, a superior head of department or anything. It was so obnoxious. I mean, she's doing work. So he's like, surely you're not busy. You're a sous chef. No, baby girl, this is not going to work like that. Yeah, well, it is going to work like that because she's actually working like that, and you're not.

[Ronnie Karam]

She doesn't work for you, you weirdo. So. And it's not romantic when you're like, oh, guess what? I had some underling make you a cheese plate. Go order a cheese plate, then you're docked.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So then meanwhile, we see this is where everyone is arriving for the picnic setup and everything, and they don't have a cart to haul anything, because, again, I think I Don't think they were told that the beach picnic is not actually just like on the beach where they're landing. So they don't have a cart, they don't have shoes, and they have to carry all this heavy shit barefoot through the streets of La Dique.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So I don't know whose fault this is, because don't they pick the beach picnic? Wouldn't that be kind of an interior thing? Is that a deck thing to pitch?

[Ben Mandelker]

I think it's usually the. I think it's the deckhands. Because haven't we seen before in other shows where, like, the bosun goes scouting the beaches and stuff? Maybe because it was a water. Here's. Here's where there could be some grace. Because there was a water taxi that went to water. Yes, I know. I'm from New York, but because there was a water taxi, it. Maybe it dropped them off in a different place than where they would have dropped off with the tender. So maybe that was it. But they're still. I don't know.

[Ronnie Karam]

I still went to the beach.

[Ben Mandelker]

I still think that, like, Vyond was like. Like. Like there wasn't a moment where beyond said, okay, they're taking water taxi. Where are they going to land? Like, there was no thought of, like, anything. He's just like, okay, they're going off and they're gonna figure it out.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. While he's arguing about cheese plates that he doesn't want to make. So they start setting up. And now Vyon's still going off. He's to himself, but he's like, you stupid person. Which I was proud of him for at least not saying, because I was prepared. I was prepared. And he's like, I'm fucking peaceful pissed. I'm pissed off about this. Oh, well, you're not pissed enough to pick up a knife and start cutting some cheese. And let me tell you something else. I don't think any girl wants just a cheese plate to herself. It's weird and it's far.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think it's a strange. Well, it's weird. The cheese plate kind of feels like the date. Like, if I'm gonna. If you're gonna romance someone and you're gonna sit down with a cheese plate, that is the date. So then why are you asking for the date with the cheese plate?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. He was like, here's the cheese plate. Now hug me and let me whisper in your ear. I'm in love with you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And again, it's such a misread of who Adair is. I don't think she wants cheese plate. I think she wants, like, ribs. And I'm not even saying that she's cornhole.

[Ronnie Karam]

And she wants to, like, you know, watch some NASCAR and, like, go get wings. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. She wants something a little messy, you know, And God bless, you know, she should. She deserves it. So, I mean, it sounds like she's.

[Ronnie Karam]

Gonna be like, I'm sorry, what is this cheese? I'm. It's not flat, and it's not shiny and yellow, so I'm not really sure where's the breading?

[Ben Mandelker]

So anyway, there. Lara, meanwhile, is with the guests, and they're doing this bike ride to the tortoise sanctuary. And it's taking a long time. It's a long bike ride. There's traffic. You know, Caroline almost drunkenly drives into a truck. I got a parking spot on that truck. But they arrive at the tourist sanctuary, and we meet the tortoise, and they ask if the tortoise has a name. And the tortoise's name, David. Which I thought, why do they name those tortoise David? That is hilarious. I love when they. I love. I think I've said this before. I am so amused when people give animals very kind of, like plain American names. David. Yeah, like formal, too. This is David. He's a. So cute.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they picked a tortoise and stuff. He's 114, so everybody loves him.

[Ben Mandelker]

They give. They give David the treatment as if he were the charter. The primary charter guest. Did you know, they put. Put the whole thing up on the screen. They're like, David, 114 years old, enjoys pets from younger women, loves green vegetables. Kale gives him gas. It's like his preference sheet.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now the bike ride is taking forever. And so Lara is trying to radio Serena, but of course, the radios don't work, even after Vyon assured them that of course they're gonna work. So she's stuck on the beach trying to make the food and get it ready, and now there's flies all over everything because she's ready for them to arrive, and they're not arriving getting radios, and everything's melting, and it's becoming a disaster. And now it's 12, 23, 71 minutes since arriving to the beach, and she's like, well, I was excited when I was setting up, but now I'm getting a little bit worried. You know, it's not your food. Flies. All right.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think this is one of the most unorganized beach picnics I've ever been a part of. Like, Vyond what is this? And yeah, so it's a disaster because she put everything out way too early and now it's. Everything's melting and the flies are attacking it and who knows when anyone's gonna be there because everything's delayed and no one can communicate and it's all Vyon's fault while he's on the boat making cheese platters. And I can't wait for next week when they. When the two women just tear Vyon apart on. On the boat because, yeah, I hope.

[Ronnie Karam]

They do this guy.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's what they show in the previews. They show Zarina and Lara basically confronting Vyond and basically telling him he's, like, totally inept. And I'm here for it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Love it. Well, that's good. Well, that brings us to the end of Below Deck down on. Everybody, thanks so much for being with us. Grab tickets for the live tour. We'll see you this week in Charlotte and Atlanta and then the following weeks, a ton of other places. So go to watch what crappens.com for ticket links and thanks for everybody who's watching this on Patreon right now. We love you guys. We'll talk to you later. Bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

Plane She ain't no shrinking violet coutar we love you, you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wonder plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ben hadn't had a decent night's sleep in a month. So during one of his restless nights.

[Ronnie Karam]

He booked a package triple broad on Expedia. When he arrived at his beachside hotel.

[Ben Mandelker]

He discovered a miraculous bed slung between two trees and fell into the best.

[Ronnie Karam]

Sleep of his life. You were made to be rechargeable. We were made to package flights and hotels and hammocks for less Expedia Made to travel.