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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
Who cares what happens with this? Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today, it's Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie, how are you?
Ronnie Karam
Hi.
Ben Mandelker
Hi. We are recapping Denise Richards and her Wild Things Season 1, Episode 5. Yes, Chef is the name of the episode. Quick reminder, we're going to be in Charlotte and Atlanta this week, so come see us there. Go to watch crappens.com to get your tickets. We'll be recapping Southern Trump finale. And then in. In, that's in Charlotte. And then in Atlanta, we're going to be doing a classic Real Housewives of Orange County. And that is going to be the episode, season 11, episode 16, bringing up old Ghosts. So we're gonna have a great time in both Cities. Go to watchgraphens.com to get your tickets. So now let us go on to this episode of Denise Richards Wild Things. Like a little frothy 30 minute show to dive into midweek. Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
So a little bon mot, if you will.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Denise Richards is very funny. I mean, again, this, this, these are. This is not the sort of show that I naturally gravitate towards, but she is very, very funny on camera. And she is. I'm definitely chuckling a lot more than I thought I would.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So we open with one of her confessionals and she's like, I'm not crazy when it comes to getting facial stuff done. I mean, I've done a little Botox here and there maybe like once a year or something. But you know, when I heard of this salmon sperm facial, I thought, God's the craziest fucking thing I ever heard. You know, it was fuck the salmon. You know, I even thought of that. But someone did and saved up the sperm. Put in my goddamn face. Now look at me. People were like, did you get it? Did you get something done? I said, a sperm came on my face. The salmon came on my face. How about you? Makes you look at bagels a little differently, huh?
Ben Mandelker
So then we get the opening credits and then we're in Denise's bedroom and she and Aaron are sitting and he is in his gray wardrobe and it reminds. It's. And he has like a little helmet on. Because of course, like, I'm surprised it actually took us this many years to finally see Aaron in a helmet. Like, like this feels like it should have been part of like how we met him initially, just a helmet with a red glow coming out of it.
Ronnie Karam
At 50 something years old, his head, his head's still just too mushy. He's got to reshape it every night. God bless him. It's the 5G.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So he's doing like. He has got a hair helmet on and Denise is like rubbing her face with some sort of. She calls it a face gym, which is supposed to stimulate the muscles that keep them tight and young and all that fun stuff.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, I wish that I could. I'm really susceptible to buying all of this stuff on the face. It's mostly on the Facebook, you know, and I only have Facebook really for works, you know, for reading Watcho Crappin's comments. But, you know, I'm still on there and I'll still watch it for the animals hugging animal videos and stuff like that. But I'm susceptible to all of this crap. I have so much of this crap, so many of these machines and gadgets and red light this. And like, I just got a hair removal system which I've used once because it takes forever. I'm like, it takes less time to shave than it does using this thing all the time. Like, and I got one of these, like, face gym things that shocks your face. And I put it on my face and it literally electrocuted me. And then I was telling my friend and she's like, oh, you have to put this kind of like conducting fluid on your face or it'll shock you. And I was like, well, why didn't anybody tell me? And she's like, you have to read the instructions. Anyway, the point is I have all this that I just don't use. But I still was like, I want both of those things.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, well, I mean, look, it's doing great work for you.
Ronnie Karam
Every.
Ben Mandelker
Everywhere we go, people like, ronnie, your skin is amazing. And then they turn to me and they're like, loved your work as the shepherd and babe. So she's rubbing her face with this dildo like thing and she's like, am I turning you on? He like, yeah. She's like, it's a face gym. Which makes. Which makes sense because there's muscles in your face and you've got a helmet on your head. So between your gym and my. My gym and your helmet, we're just two hot people right now.
Ronnie Karam
He's like, the things you do when you get up there, huh? Yeah, that's crazy. So she's like, anyway, so you know Brooke Williamson from Top Chef, you know you know how obsessed we are. You know how you jerk off every time I watch her on a food network? It's fun. You know, I will say Aaron has given me a lot of facials, but he's nowhere close to the sand. Hey, you know what? Do you think they got that salmon to watch? Brooke Williams.
Ben Mandelker
God.
Ronnie Karam
Brooke Williams has actually made me look 10 years younger. I need to have her over to thank her.
Ben Mandelker
I couldn't believe it. So I couldn't. I was blown away that Brooke Williamson was commenting on my video. And we see Denise doing another one of her shitty, shitty cooking videos. I love. I love that she's messing up. I think that's. I think that's. We should see more mess ups in the kitchen. But Denise is really just kind of like making play DOH or something like that. Like, things are flying out of the. Out of the stand mixer. There's, like, glop on the wall. It's like, well, turns out I don't know how to make a cake out of lettuce, but I tried, and that's the most important part. Brooke is like, love your work. It's so great. Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
And she goes, let's do this together next time. I'm here for you. So she's like, well, you know, I commented back, and she follows me on Instagram. That's amazing. She knows who I know. He's like, yes. Kind of funny. I mean, that's cute. Who are we talking about again? The lady you jerk off to on Food Network. He's like the one with the blonde spiky hair and the knee socks. No, the kind of gargoyle style lady that's always really mean on the. On the competition show. It's like, no, that's Alex Cornelli, honey.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, the. The one with a. The. The very big head but the small body who's always passive aggressive to her sister when she comes on.
Ronnie Karam
No, that's J.
Ben Mandelker
De Laurentiis, not her.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, well, to be honest, you do jerk off to the one with the blonde spiky hair again, too. She doesn't follow me on Instagram, so.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, well, I can't help it. When she gets her camp counselor voice on. I just get so aroused. Strange. So.
Ronnie Karam
But please just don't ever jerk off to Guy Fieri again. You know, we. We do have to have some lines that we don't cross in this room.
Ben Mandelker
So. Denise is so excited that Brooke follows her on Instagram. What's so funny about Denise is that Denise is a celebrity in her own right, and she was famous before Bravo, and she'll be famous after. And she's, like, starstruck that, like, some. Like, that a Top Chef person follows her. And later on, when she mentions that her hall passes Brad Pitt, it's just. It's so funny the way she talks, like. Like one of us. Like, if I ever met a celebrity, that would be my hall pass. It's like, you are a celebrity. You're like, you are people's halls pass, you know, So I just thought that was cute. So she's still doing her face gym. She's like, you know, I really want to get my own cooking show. I'm. I'm past trying to be subtle about it. I'm just. I'm just gonna be blatant. I want to get a cooking show because I've watched a lot of Food Network, and even though I have holes in my pasta when I make it, I know I'm about 10 times better than anyone I see on that network these days. So come on, what does a girl gotta do?
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, no kidding. She probably is, too. So she's like, yeah, yeah, hopefully I can do. I don't want my show, you know? I know. I'm a disaster. He's like, you're not a disaster. Stop saying that. Oh, by the way, my mom called up and said that her rent is late. On the town. On the house in Malibu, so get that paid.
Ben Mandelker
You know, I think that people. Well, first of all, your parents. Not literally, of course. Relax. Second of all, you know, I think people want to see a cooking show with someone like me. People want to see mistakes. That's human, you know, like the time I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with Ky. Jelly.
Ronnie Karam
Turns out, not edible, but, yeah, you gotta try it. How else are you supposed to know, you know? First I need to figure out my face, I guess. Oh, hey, you want me to put my face Jim on your balls? And he's like, actually, would you. That sounds stimulating. Guys, could you leave the room? We're gonna. Now she's gonna me with this face Jim.
Ben Mandelker
He's like, we're kind of alone. And then he's got, like, a wide shot of, like, a cameraman's, like, just holding a camera up to them while he's got, like, a boner, is, like, rising, like, all right, we're gonna have. We're gonna have some sex now. So we're gonna do that. They're like, bye. This is one of the few times, like, this is a thing that happens on Bravo a lot where they film like a couple of films of sexy scene together and it's like, yeah, let's get it on. But you know, it's all fake because there's like four people. There's like a cameraman, a sound man, there's a producer. Like, this is not about to turn into sex. But in this case, I actually fully believe that when they kicked out the crew, they just started to. They just started to blink.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, yeah. Fucked with the face gym. Listen, you know, you've been together long enough that you need new shit to start happening. If Face Jim on my nuts, it is. Let's get this going. So now she's driving Lola and Eloise and they're going to go see Sammy because she's just had her nose surgery. So she's like, so did you see your sister posted about her nose? Did you see it? And she's like, yeah, I saw it on TikTok. I mean, where else would I see it? She's not going to tell me about it. So I saw my TikTok.
Ben Mandelker
So Sammy, who is was really all about being very discreet about having a nose job because last time she got so much input and she just wanted to be subtle about this is now on TikTok, and she's saying things like, oh, my God. Like, she has a bandage on her nose and she's like, bruised under her eyes. She's like, you guys, I will say this, my eyes look so pretty. Like, one thing I love about the bruising is that it really makes my eyes pop.
Ronnie Karam
Kind of love her.
Ben Mandelker
So get that. I thought that was so good.
Ronnie Karam
So then Denise is like, oh, does it hurt your feelings, honey? And she didn't share it with you because, you know she could have told you and she didn't or you hurt. No, why would I care? As long as she shared it with Jesus. Hopefully he was there to help her through it. Oh, God. You know, even though Lola already knew, it would have been nice for her sister to be like, by the way, I just had my nose done and just wanted you to know. I mean, God, are we sisters or not? Hey.
Ben Mandelker
Excited to see Sammy's place? Well, I just want my 10. My. My top back that she stole. This is my favorite blue tank top that she took out of my bag at a hotel and I never saw it again. Like, the color and the size, like, fit me perfectly. And like, I asked her several times to. To look at it. And then we see, like, a picture of her in this tank top. Like the special, special tank top of the Gods. And she's like, you know, just like.
Ronnie Karam
You know, it's like, it really means a lot to me.
Ben Mandelker
Sammy's like, I have no idea what she's talking about.
Ronnie Karam
What goddamn shirt she's talking about. Oh, you really want to make today about a blue tank top, honey? But I didn't really want my tank top back. Mom's like, stop.
Ben Mandelker
Come on. So, Sam. Yeah. And Sammy's just cleaning. She's like, well, she's taking stuff out of a bag or she's doing something. She's got, like, a mess on the floor. Anthony is like, hey, so Eloise and Lola and I are coming to drop off gifts. Like, yeah, well, I. I'm not. No, I don't want Lola up in my apartment. Like, even though I know we shook hands at a fish shack, I just don't really feel comfortable having her in my apartment, so I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to deny her. So Denise is like, oh, well, okay. Well, that's too bad. I'm like, if that were my mom, my mom would be like, now you listen here, Sammy. She is your sister, and she's coming to your apartment. I don't want to hear anything about it. But I can't believe Denise is just like, okay, well, this is a totally obnoxious move, but I guess I can't do anything about it. Oh, well.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So Lola's like, see, I told you she wouldn't want to see me. She's probably wearing my tank top. He is pretty rude. Honey, I'm really sorry about. But I want my tank top back. You so cute. Where else am I gonna get a light blue tank top? By the way, she's wearing a light top, a light blue tank top right now in the scene.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, it's just like, I really like that tank top. I'm just, like, really so sad. And I prayed to Jesus about it so many times. I was like, I'm praying about the tank top that will come back into my life. And Jesus is like, why are you so, like, concerned about material things? I'm like, thank you for acknowledging it's. It is a good material on me. And he was like, I don't think you got my point. I was like, I do get your point. I just want my tank top back. And she's like, oh, Lola, you have to stop. And she's like, what? Just get my tank top back, please.
Ronnie Karam
Jesus, finally, I'm converting you. So we go to Sammy's apartment, and she says hi to Eloise. She's like, hi, Eloise. What's on my face? Do I look scary? And she's like, yeah, Eloise. Like, inner. Eloise's inner thoughts are like, yeah, you do. But I'm still traumatized for mom's only fan pictures being on my iPad.
Ben Mandelker
So we're good. I'm just trying not to make eye contact with any of you people. So then like, Eloise gives her flowers and Sam's like, oh, thank you, Eloise. That's so sweet. She's like, they're from Lola. She's like, oh, I thought they're from Eloise. Well, I'll tell Lola you like them. She's like, please don't.
Ronnie Karam
No. She's like, yeah. One of the main reasons I started my only fans was to have my own money to get my own apartment, a new car, and my boobs done and a new nose. So I'm really checking off the list.
Ben Mandelker
You know, I love that Sammy is becoming a strong woman and she's just, you know, she's a little stubborn, you know. And we cut to Lola's sitting downstairs in like the lobby, just waiting for her mom to be done talking, shooting her scene with Lola, but actually, I mean, with Sammy. But Lola actually seems quite content. She's just even like having some avocado toasts.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, she's just chilling with some avocado toast and coffee, looking at her phone. She doesn't care. I mean, if you're gonna be completely, you know, othered by your sister, at least she has a decent lobby to hang out in.
Ben Mandelker
At least give me a taco, you know? Oh, am I gonna have avocado toast after this lesson? As I said that, I was like, I would love some avocado toast right now.
Ronnie Karam
So Sammy's like, I don't even know what tank top she's talking about. Ask her about half the she stole from my closet. Like, I have like a light up corset. Where's that? You know, where's my neon thong? Ask her about that.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, he was much easier when they were younger. You know, I could just like make the girls apologize or something stupid like clothing and jewelry. But you know, nowadays, still one tank top and it's goddamn World War iii. I can't do anything about it. You know, I'm.
Ronnie Karam
It's a lot.
Ben Mandelker
I've got to juggle Aaron's balls, my daughter's. That's too much for someone. Tank top.
Ronnie Karam
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Ronnie Karam
So now let's go to the Barcelona bar where Kathy Hilton is coming to meet Denise for drinks and she's like I'm gonna have a charnay charname. Something to relax my shoulders, right? I just found out you're not supposed to be putting. Putting blush on your lips. I feel like a new woman.
Ben Mandelker
So then Denise. Denise and Kathy just, like, chatting about their kids and everything. And Denise, like, yeah, no, my daughters, they could not be more different. Okay? One's. One's on only fans. One is doing prayers for Taco Tuesday. It is a wild ride over there.
Ronnie Karam
And she's talking about how she likes that Kathy has up kids, too, because she understands, you know, and she's like, you know, Sammy was just so out of control. And it started really affecting Lola and Aloise. And Kathy's like, well, you know, Paris was like that. And I. I think now she's starting to realize that she was totally out of control. I mean, she would be gone for days, skipping school. That girl was a runner, you know, she was a runner. She ran from so many schools. Finally, I had Dr. Phil kidnap her in a white van and take her away and, I don't know, chain her up to something. And that seemed to help a little bit. She learned to dj, so that was good. Whatever that means.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. You know, I am so proud of her. She has taken her pain and turned it into a purpose. She is just, I guess, just living life, doing. Not really much these days. But you know what? When it comes to Paris, just doing the bare minimum. I'm happy for her.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So then server comes up, and he's like, oh, do you want some prickly pear juice? And she's like, oh, prickly. What's that? It's like a pear. Why was it half. Why has it got prickles on it? That doesn't sound right. It's like. It's a kind of fruit, man. I don't believe that. Prickles. He goes, I've had enough prick today. All right. Have you ever used a face workout on a dude's nuts? Good God. By the way, do I look younger? Not particularly. Well, that didn't work. I had to fucking try it.
Ben Mandelker
You do smell fishier, though. I was wondering if there was. We were seated next to a dumpster. So the server comes by, and he's like. And so he starts pouring these prickly pears shots, like, right from, like, out of this jug, from the spout directly into their mouths. I was like, like our. Can we use a glass?
Ronnie Karam
Have we forgot about infectious diseases?
Ben Mandelker
Because that spout full on touched Kathy's lips. And I'm like, no, cap. We got Kathy Hilton's blush lips all over the rim of that thing. And anytime you pour prickly pear juice into anyone's mouth. You're getting Kathy's blush. And I'm not. I'm not down with that.
Ronnie Karam
And Denise is like, well, this ain't my first time at this road. You're going. Cats is like, I'd like some more of that. So that was a wacky scene. So then we go to Denise in her kitchen, and Brooke comes over, and she's like, hey, it's me, Brooke. Oh, God, I was so nervous to meet you. I'm so starstruck. Brooks. Oh, God, I love you. My husband has masturbated you so many times. Is that weird to say? He's gonna be here soon. Hopefully he'll keep it in his pants. Am I right? Right.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I. I don't know if you heard this before, but I really want a cooking show. And, like, I just learned so much from you. And just, like, you were just. You were just kind enough to comment on some of my videos. Like, don't put the spoon into the microwave. That was. That was funny. It's too late, but, you know, it was funny. And I'm just so. You know, I'm so used to people saying negative stuff like, if you don't cook the chicken, you're gonna poison people, or, I can't believe you serve that rancid meat to all your friends. And, you know, I'm just. I don't know. I get so insecure now.
Ronnie Karam
I really like the one where you told me that lizards don't eat paella. Gonna save me a lot of cleanup. So thanks for that. You know, I watch all your stuff online, you know, all those TV shows and stuff that you're on. You know, husband gets so horned, and now, listen, he's never been as hornies when he watches what he calls diners drive ins and dicks. He really loves that one. You know, that guy. Guy, don't ever introduce him to Aaron. Telling you.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, yeah, Aaron, Aaron. He says he always talks about Triple D and it turns out, has a lot of meanings for him. Yeah, he loves it. And Brooke is like, oh, that's great. This is really exciting. I'm just gonna work on keeping my enthusiasm high because Bravo wants me to appear on your show right now to help promote the fact that there's a new season of Top Chef. So. Yeah. God, I love that. Those chefs, they really don't mess up on that show. Have they ever thought about having a show called Bottom Chef? Because I think I'm gonna be really good on that one.
Ronnie Karam
You know, Let me tell you, I know a lot of Bottoms. They're good cooks. I don't know where it comes from.
Ben Mandelker
You know, I've worked with huge movie stars. Okay? My first day on the James Bond movie, I worked with Judi Dench, and she threw a apple core at my head, and she said, get out of here, peasant. I was so fun. And I was just. I was peeing my pants, quite literally. I mean, Judy was. Judy. Judy was like, God, I'm Judi Dench. But you could be called Judi Stench. Which I thought was that. That was a little on the meaner side. But, you know, it was an honor to be. To be working with her.
Ronnie Karam
I say, hey, Judy Dench, why don't you talk much? And she said, because I have actual lines in this film, you stupid slag. And then she threw me a sweater and told me to get off the set. So it was fun. That was a good one.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, God. But, you know, I think. You know, I think what makes me feel vulnerable being with a celebrity chef is that what, you know, I watch on TV is that it's. I'm just out of my comfort zone, you know? Like, she's not throwing a tuna sandwich at my head. She's not. She's not asking me where I went to acting school. And then just to give me a little chuckle afterwards when I say, I. I taught myself. She's just happy to see me. I don't know what to do with that.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So she's like, well, we're gonna make something out of your cookbook with figs. So that's gonna be fun. She goes, yeah, it's really fun. You know? Have you ever heard of a prickly fig? Do they have those or your figs just not fucking freaky like that. I'm telling you, I had a pair earlier. They couldn't stop getting a boner around me. I'm.
Ben Mandelker
Question. Okay, question. If we cut a fig in half and scoop out the inside and put the top of it onto my. My squirrel friend out there, will he get more hair on his head? It'll be like a little squirrel hair helmet. Just wondering.
Ronnie Karam
I'm gonna fuck Aaron with a prickly fig later. You got me on you. So. All right, what figs? Let's do that. She's like, yeah, it's fun. You know, it's relatively simple. Oh, God. That was my first film review. Someone called me relatively. Was that a compliment?
Ben Mandelker
It was written by Judy Dench. I didn't even know she did film criticism or did arrive on a sticky note. And I was on. On My dressing room door. Maybe it wasn't film criticism. Now that I think about it, she.
Ronnie Karam
Also spray painted on my car. That's the last time I pay for a Porsche. Waste of money.
Ben Mandelker
So Brook's like, all right, well, we're going to do a spicy cucumber, passion fruit mescal margarita. I don't know what half those things are, and it sounds like too much. Why can't we just do a shot of tequila? It's much faster, but whatever, it sounds delicious.
Ronnie Karam
So we see them cooking and. Or, you know, preparing this margarita stuff and saying, oh, wow, that's great. Oh, boners here. And Aaron comes in. He's like, hey, guys. Hey. Just taking all of Denise's clothes and handing them to my family back in Malibu. How's everything going in here, guys? How's it going?
Ben Mandelker
It's great. We made margaritas. I know. I know what you're thinking. Is this another one of my ecto cooler and vodka cocktails? But no, this is a real margarita and you're gonna enjoy it.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, yeah. Niece, I hope you don't mind on. My husband really wants to meet you. He's like, oh, I've. I've know so much about you. I watch your show every night, you know, because she has it on every night. Yeah, you like watching it too? Honey, let's not pretend. Listen, he watches it one handed. You know what I mean?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I get pretty turned on. I jerk off with my left hand and I hold a magnet on my forehead with my. And it's pretty intense.
Ronnie Karam
So tell me, Verizon or cricket? Excuse me? One's 5G and one's not. What's your answer gonna be? Do not give me a softie right now. I'm basically tinted. I'm tinted and ready to go.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, is Mint Mobile an option? That, ma'am, is the correct answer. I knew I jerked off to you for a reason.
Ronnie Karam
So he's like, what's going on? And she's like, oh, hey, by the way, you're my husband's hall pass. If you don't know what that is, that's when he can see somebody. All right? It's a celebrity. That's you. He's gonna. You. My husband wants to you. Are we getting all this on my iPhone? Good.
Ben Mandelker
I asked who. I asked her, Judy, who. Who her hall pass was, and she said Anthony Hopkins. She was actually very forthcoming about it. It was shocking.
Ronnie Karam
You know, it was kind of flattering me because she told me that I'm her only pass. So that was nice. Every time I came out on set, she would just go, pass. It was nice. Nice lady.
Ben Mandelker
She's. She's a real sweetheart underneath it all. Kind of looks like an owl in, like, a tutorial, you know, if they're teaching you, like, here's the owl to tell you something. She kind of looks like that, but I like it. I need a tutorial.
Ronnie Karam
Have you ever heard of owl sperm being used on anything? Try that out. Hey, Brooke, you could give an owl boner. Hey, would you try it?
Ben Mandelker
Actually, you know, Judy didn't really like it very much when I mashed up some salmon roe and tried to spread it on her forehead. She. She had to have a consultation with the producers, and I. I got a repri. But it was worth it because she had lovely skin. Actually.
Ronnie Karam
You know, Aaron has a crush on her, and that's okay. And he's like, well, she's a beautiful woman. Okay, here's my hall pass. Brad Pitt. You know? You know what I really love about him? Not only is he hot, he's just so good with kids.
Ben Mandelker
You know? I loved him in that movie about upstate New York. What was it called? Troy. Ah, great movie.
Ronnie Karam
That was a good one. Watch your ankles. Speaking of bottoms in the kitchen, you.
Ben Mandelker
Know, the thing is this. I love animals. I welcome every animal into my house. So when Brad did a movie called 12 Monkeys, I mean, I. I've had a lady boner ever since dad.
Ronnie Karam
You know, it's funny. When Brooke went to rehab, she left 12 monkeys in a cage on my. On my doorstep. I built them a town.
Ben Mandelker
We'll put them in the master suite. And then I got a bunch of little hats. I named one of them Judy. And then immediately as soon as I did that, the monkey stopped talking to me. It was very, very strange.
Ronnie Karam
She's like, all right. So Aaron's like, well, you know, I mean, it was nice. You got to hang out with her. She was lovely, babe. Lovely. Yeah. I'm gonna go pee while you finish talking about your hall path. Probably gonna do it on a salmon or something. Return the favorite.
Ben Mandelker
She literally gets up in peace. So now Aaron's like, thank you for this margarita. It's delicious. I can't even get the words out my mouth because I am so sexually aroused by you right now. Brooke's like, oh, great. Well, I don't know if I've ever been anyone's hall pass. I don't know if I'm even my husband's hall pass. Anyway, I'm really honored.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, I really wanted to come. Did you come, honey? Did you come? Keep trying. Just three pants. We don't want to be disgusting, but, you know. Brooke, could you just stand there? What? Hold the prickly fig. Hold the prickly. All right, he's almost done. And Aaron. Aaron. Okay, he came. Aaron, don't wipe yourself off. Brooke, this was great.
Ben Mandelker
We. We like to collect his sperm. We use half of it to make our skins look better and half it to make our own types of margaritas. God, we really need our own cooking show. We really do.
Ronnie Karam
So Brook's like, okay, now the real recipes. Now, listen, I've spent so much time testing these. I'm gonna make them user friendly. Okay? So how about you make these recipes? I would love that. So today is Black Mission figs with pistachio relish and warm honey chorizo.
Ben Mandelker
I was. When I. When she said that, I was like, this is so cheffy. I'm, like, over it. So then Denise is like, you know.
Ronnie Karam
Just an everyman dish. Black Mission figs with pistachio relish and honey chorizo.
Ben Mandelker
I was like, figs are, like, only good for, like, one week a year. This is a ridiculous recipe. So Denise is like, okay, I'm gonna heat the pan. All right? All right. Okay. So what. What piece of meat goes into the blender? She's like, there's no meat and we don't need a blender. Are you sure? What if I put the blender in the oven? How about that? That's a nice touch, right? She's like, no, just preheat the pan. Can you do that? She's like, well, I. You. You preheat pan? Is that a thing that people do? You preheat a pan? What if I burn it? Because I burn everything.
Ronnie Karam
There's a weird sausage casing. Looks like a condom. Aaron won't wear those. What do you think about that? Aar here and fill it up. He won't. He won't even for you, Brooke.
Ben Mandelker
How about we take. Okay, how about we slice open the sausage, take the meat, put it on some rice, and be like, sushi. Sausage sushi. That's. That's raw. Raw sausage meat? Yeah. It's like sushi, right? No, but you can't have that. I. Look, when I get my cooking show, this will be the first recipe I make. And I tell you, people are going to love it.
Ronnie Karam
And Brook's like, look at me just standing here drinking a margarita while you make the peanut butter and jelly sandwich of the chef. World. Most simple dish of all time. Am I right? Amazing.
Ben Mandelker
So she's like my thing here. When I made this. When I made this cookbook, I really wanted it for regular simpletons. So I'm just gonna sit here and I'm not gonna do a single thing. Cause I wanna see how well you can do my dish. It'll be hilarious. Okay, well, you're not chopping that right. Okay, I'll just take over. I'll take over. Cause then Brooke does everything. Yeah, she does.
Ronnie Karam
She's like, do you know how to mince a shallot? She's like, why? Why would a shallot need a mint? I mean, what is that? Bad breath? What is a shallot? Is that a type of animal? Is the shallot? Is it like, okay, is that like.
Ben Mandelker
The girl who's on Cheers? Charlotte Long? No, no, that's. I'm not going to dignify that answer.
Ronnie Karam
God, I hated that. I almost kicked her ass at a club one time. I said, get the stick out of your ass, right?
Ben Mandelker
God. I'll tell you one thing. That's how Judy Dench and I finally bonded. She hates her too, you know. Fun, fun story. Christmas. Dr. Christmas Jones was originally supposed to be played by Shelly Long. And she was such a batch that Judy insisted that she get kicked off the movie.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Judi Dench called her Shelley Long Winded C word. That was pretty good.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, God, what a fun time we had. So they make this thing and I was. I was like, ugh, this recipe is so cheffy. And then when that was done, I was like, that looks amazing. I want to make it. Yeah. I was like, damn it, it looks so good. Do I have to get Brooks's cookbook? Because, no, I want to buy it. I don't need more cookbook books. But based on that recipe alone, I was like, fuck. This promotion worked 100% on me.
Ronnie Karam
And Denise is like, you know, out of all the cooking videos I've done, this is the first time I've ever finished. And actually, Aaron finished too. You finished, right, honey?
Ben Mandelker
It's like, Brooke. Brooke is like, I'm highly disturbed. But honestly, for me, as a chef, watching you pull this whole thing together, and by you pulling it together, I mean watching me as I cooked for you, even though you were so unsure of yourself herself, it was just so wonderful and satisfying. And it's a real testament to how great my cookbook is, which is available on Amazon now.
Ronnie Karam
So she leaves, and then now Denise and Sammy are writing to post op to check on her Nose because she's still got her bandages on. So she's like, are you excited, honey? You're about to see your new baby. No. She's like, yeah, but I'm also nervous because, like, oh, my God, what if my nose is too skinny now? Like, what if he took too much? I mean. I mean, we never should have trust a guy that looked like Steve Carell in the office. Like, why are we doing this?
Ben Mandelker
You know, I would spend hours every day just, like, editing my nose before I could post photos publicly. I just hate my nose. I hate that enormous, massive bump in my nose. You know, with my boobs, it was, like, fine. But, like, this. This. This. This changes everything. This changes my life. And Denise is like, really? You know, I loved your old nose. It was great. I mean, she said, well, it's gone forever. Thank God. My mother.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So they go to the doctor, and he's like, hello. He does that real tight Steve Carell smile. He's like, how are we doing in here? Looking at the camera, like, here we go, guys. Yeah, let's do it. Let's start removing that bandage. Like, oh, my God, I'm so scared. What if my nose is horrible? No one's ever gonna want to my nose again. This is terrible.
Ben Mandelker
And so she's really happy, and she's saying how she wanted it for so long, and this is how she would. She's like, this is exactly how I facetune it. It's amazing. I'm like, pre facetune, but, like, it felt. I mean, my instinct was to be like, this is so silly. They took, like, a fraction of an. Like, of a centimeter off of it. But that being said, you know, when you're insecure about a body part, I get it. I get it. So I was actually happy for her.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Denise is like, oh, my God, honey, I'm crying. You know, you included me. That was so nice. You included the woman who ruined your life by having the most perfect nose on earth. Every day, I would go to bed and I'd say, God, if you're there. One, please tell Emilio Estevez to stop sending me memes, because really. And two, just, God, give my share. My nose with other people. It doesn't have to just stay on me. Give other people the opportunity to have such a amazing nose on my. Right.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, you know, it's so hard as a mom to see Sammy not know how other people see her and how beautiful she really, really is. And I had to remember how I felt at 19 when I had my surgery and thinking how insecure I was, but knowing that someday I would cross paths with Judi Dench and I just have much bigger tits than her. And that. That really made me happy, you know?
Ronnie Karam
I told her, honey, how can you not know how much people love you? I mean, you've literally got thousands of people jerking off to you every day. What do you want?
Ben Mandelker
You're like the Brook Williamson of only fans. So. So Sammy's like, this is literally the best day of my life. She's so happy that she starts talking like, Lola. Did you notice that her voice changed? Her, like, her high, like, the lilting voice that is somehow hereditary between, like, Denise and Charlie Sheen, like, comes back, like. So Sammy goes from being, like, some Sammy to, like, this is literally, like, the best day of my life. Like, I am so happy right now. I'm so happy I became wholesome like Lola for one brief second, but it's gonna go away tomorrow. But for right now, I'm wholesome.
Ronnie Karam
It's just like, well, I'm happy you included me. It's just, well, I just didn't want you in my surgery because you have so much anxiety about dying under anesthesia. She goes, yeah, I'm not afraid of dying. I'm just afraid they're gonna put me under, and I'm never gon wake up again, Mom. That's what dying is. She's like, ow.
Ben Mandelker
And then next week, she's Denise. I win, though. Top 1% of creators on Only Fans. And then Aaron's doing a photo shoot for Denise, and he's like, yeah, yeah. And then we see Patrick Muldoon, and he. I feel like we should not have seen Patrick Muldoon again. I like the. I like the image that I had of Patrick Muldoon that was frozen in time.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Patrick Muldoon's doing that aging thing where he's just, like, dyeing his hair weird colors that only old men use. Don't use that color. It's a terrible red.
Ben Mandelker
Patrick.
Ronnie Karam
No. Yeah, shave it.
Ben Mandelker
You know, I wonder, like, us seeing Patrick Muldoon, was that, like, how it was, like, for people to see Eileen Davidson's husband for the. Like, for the first time in several decades? Because he was, like, a child star or a teen star in the. In the 70s, 60s, and 70s. Right, right. And then you see him, and it's like, whoa, what was his name? Dicky Van Patten or something like that? I wonder if, like, that's how we feel when, like, that's how people felt seeing him the way we feel seeing Patrick Muldoon.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, it's crazy. And it's not even an ageism thing. It's just like a proper age thing, like you, you know, if your hair is starting to look like that thinny old like straw kind of thing, don't be dyeing it like purple or red or whatever. Oh, no, no, no. Someone help him. He's still a hot man to. Somebody help him. Fix him. He's fixable. I'll fix it.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, everyone's fixable.
Ronnie Karam
Hey, Muldoon, give me a ring. I'll fix you, big boy.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Anyway, that was it for Denise Richards. Fun times. Thanks everyone for being here. Catch us on the road this weekend or subsequent weekends or just hang out here. That's fine too. Go to watchwalkins.com though, if you want to get your tickets or to see the schedule and we will catch you on the very next episode. Bye, everyone.
Ronnie Karam
And bye.
Ben Mandelker
Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King Our.
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Ronnie Karam
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Ronnie Karam
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
Cootard we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondry.com survey.
Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
She clawed her way from rock bottom to the very top, using everything from.
Ben Mandelker
Comedy to espionage to get there. Empress Theodora didn't just survive. She revolutionized women's rights across the Byzantine Empire. Like changing laws to let women divorce men, own property and bring abusive men to justice. For all her work in pioneering. She's remembered as the most powerful Byzantine Empress in history. Follow even the Royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to even the Royals.
Ronnie Karam
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Watch What Crappens: Episode #2770 – Denise Richards and her Wild Things S0105: "You Put My Love On Top (Chef)"
Release Date: March 20, 2025
Introduction
In Episode #2770 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into Denise Richards' intriguing episode of Wild Things. Titled "Chef," this episode showcases Denise's comedic prowess, her unconventional beauty routines, and her dynamic interactions with fellow celebrities. Ben and Ronnie provide a humorous and insightful analysis, peppered with notable quotes and timestamps to enrich the listener's understanding.
Denise Richards: The Comedic Star
Ben opens the discussion by highlighting Denise Richards' unexpected comedic talent on camera:
Ronnie agrees, emphasizing Denise's ability to be both entertaining and relatable:
The Face Gym and Unconventional Beauty Routines
A significant part of the episode revolves around Denise and her partner Aaron's unique beauty routines:
Their playful banter about the face gym and Aaron's quirky wardrobe choices add a layer of humor and relatability:
Interactions with Broke Williamson and Cooking Antics
A standout moment is Denise's interaction with Brooke Williamson from Top Chef:
Denise's attempts at cooking become a focal point, showcasing her struggles and comedic failures in the kitchen:
The hosts humorously critique Denise's culinary skills while highlighting her endearing charm:
Family Dynamics and Sammy's Transformation
The episode also delves into family relationships, particularly focusing on Sammy's nose surgery and her evolving personality:
Sammy's journey from insecurity to self-assurance is portrayed with both humor and empathy:
Celebrity Cameos and Humorous Anecdotes
The episode features amusing anecdotes involving celebrities like Kathy Hilton and Patrick Muldoon:
Their playful discussions about these interactions add depth and entertainment value to the summary.
Host Commentary and Notable Quotes
Throughout the episode, Ben and Ronnie infuse their commentary with wit and humor, making the summary engaging:
These quotes not only reflect the hosts' humor but also provide insightful snapshots of the episode's key moments.
Conclusion
Episode #2770 of Watch What Crappens offers a hilarious and heartfelt recap of Denise Richards' Wild Things episode "Chef." Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam expertly navigate through Denise's comedic endeavors, beauty rituals, family dynamics, and celebrity interactions, delivering a comprehensive and entertaining summary. Their ability to balance humor with genuine insights makes this episode a must-listen for fans eager to catch up on all the Bravo drama and beyond.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
These quotes encapsulate the essence of the hosts' humor and the episode's key moments, providing listeners with memorable snippets from the discussion.