#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens Episode #2773 – RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean

Podcast Information:

• Title: Watch What Crappens
• Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
• Platform: Wondery
• Episode: #2773 – RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
• Release Date: March 24, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode #2773 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive deep into Season 16, Episode 3 of The Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA), aptly titled "Mommy and Mean." This episode, part one of a two-part recap, offers an insightful and humorous analysis of the latest developments in the RHOA universe, interspersed with the hosts' personal anecdotes and plans for upcoming content.

Live Show Updates and Upcoming Content

Live Show Experiences: The episode begins with Ben and Ronnie reflecting on their recent live shows in Charlotte and Atlanta. Ronnie shares, “[...] It was so great to go back to both of those cities. Two of our favorite cities to go to.”

Tour Schedule: Ben outlines their travel plans, stating, “We are going to the Lincoln Theater in D.C. this weekend and then we're going to the Fillmore in Philadelphia the next day.”

Expansion to Other Recaps: To compensate for their busy tour schedule, the hosts announce new recap segments for popular shows:

• White Lotus: Ben mentions, “[...] we are going to start doing White Lotus recaps for the final two episodes. We're actually going to do a catch-up episode today because it was the big one of the big episodes that everybody's been waiting for. A sword fight.”
• Top Chef: Ronnie excitedly adds, “Top Chef is back, baby. We're going to do it.”

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Recap of RHOA Season 16, Episode 3: Mommy and Mean

New Season Energies: Ronnie expresses enthusiasm for the new season, noting, “I feel like this season has been the strongest kickoff in so many years for me, for Atlanta.”

Tagline Analysis: A significant portion of the episode focuses on dissecting the housewives' new taglines. The hosts humorously critique each tagline, highlighting their creativity and relevance to the characters' storylines.

1. Portia: "I snatched my peach back, but now I'm bringing the juice."

   • Ronnie quips, “I like that,” acknowledging the pun but expressing minor reservations.
   • Ben adds a playful jab, “You can keep your juices to yourself, Portia. Your juices have been tainted by some pretty gross men lately.”

2. Drew Sedora: "I'll always be upper level. Everyone else is in the basement."

   • Ronnie relates this to a previous season’s storyline, drawing parallels to Luann’s tagline from Real Housewives of New York.
   • Ben humorously connects it to the show’s running themes, “I think she was trying to put on the Barbara Hershey wig, and she's trying to take over that role.”

3. Shamia: "I'm trying not to be the wind beneath your wings."

   • The hosts discuss Shamia's attempt to fill Barbara Hershey’s role, noting her gradual integration into the main cast.

4. Kelly: "I'm a mom of four girls. Give me attitude and I'll ground you too."

   • Ronnie expresses disappointment, saying, “I feel like there should have been a waffle pun.”
   • Ben echoes similar sentiments, suggesting alternative puns.

5. Angela: "If you want to find the shade, just look for the oak."

   • Both hosts find Angela's tagline forced and express a desire for more creativity.
   • Ben anticipates Angela becoming a standout character, “I'm expecting Angela to be the new star of this show.”

6. Brit: "I'm pretty and paid."

   • Ronnie critiques the rhyming aspect, saying, “I don’t know if I love rhyming in my housewives taglines.”
   • Ben adds humorously, “What kind of line is that? Don't do that.”

Notable Quotes:

• Ben Mandelker ([09:15]): “Whenever the Waffle Queen comes on the screen, she has her own theme music. They play the succession theme music every time she comes home.”
• Ronnie Karam ([10:22]): “I cracked up. I was laughing in the airport. This episode was so funny to me.”

Character Dynamics: The discussion highlights intricate relationships and tensions among the cast members:

• Portia and Shamia's Relationship: Ben and Ronnie explore the evolving dynamics between Portia and her emerging friend, Shamia, drawing parallels to notable cinematic characters like Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey.
• Brit and Kelly's Interactions: The hosts dissect the interactions between Brit and Kelly, emphasizing the underlying tensions and unresolved conflicts that add drama to the season.

Humorous Interjections: Throughout the recap, Ben and Ronnie infuse humor with references to pop culture and playful banter:

• Ben ([15:35]): “So kind of like the Jocelyn. Not Jocelyn Wildenstein. That's the lady whose face is rip.”
• Ronnie ([28:54]): “I was a huge video vixen in high school, so I was like in all the music videos.”

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Personal Anecdotes and Behind-the-Scenes Stories

Sponsor Mentions and Personal Stories: Interspersed with the main discussion, the hosts share personal stories and sponsor shout-outs, adding depth and relatability to the episode:

• Ronnie's Kia Manual Story:
  • Ronnie ([07:21]): “Someone brought me a Kia manual user manual to sign over the weekend. And yes, that was a very special moment.”
• Ben's "Lonesome Dove" Appreciation:
  • Ben ([07:53]): “They bought a physical copy of Lonesome Dove. I was like, damn, I'm proud of myself that I read so many of these pages.”

Lighthearted Banter: The hosts engage in playful exchanges, enhancing the listener's entertainment:

• Ronnie ([27:33]): “She's our favorite streamer.”
• Ben ([27:39]): “That's a crawl along the sea and eat all the garbage. You know, rich people are like, oh, my God, lobsters are amazing.”

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Transition to Part Two

As Part One concludes, Ben and Ronnie tease the continuation of their in-depth RHOA recap, ensuring listeners stay tuned for more detailed analyses in the upcoming segment.

Closing Remarks:

• Ronnie ([53:39]): “We have a reboot. We need to do something. I actually have to say...”
• Ben ([55:08]): “If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.”

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ben Mandelker ([03:25]): “How did this even happen?”
• Ronnie Karam ([09:15]): “I cracked up. I was laughing in the airport. This episode was so funny to me.”
• Ben Mandelker ([10:28]): “I don't know, man. Like, you just. You've still got Hot Dog man in your storyline.”
• Ronnie Karam ([28:54]): “I was a huge video vixen in high school, so I was like in all the music videos.”
• Ben Mandelker ([27:39]): “They're not the trash of the sea.”
• Ronnie Karam ([35:54]): “It's a Danielle Cabral level thing, you know, where Danielle Cabral's like, I don't know what happened.”

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Conclusion

Episode #2773 of Watch What Crappens offers a comprehensive and entertaining recap of The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 16, Episode 3. Through detailed analysis, witty commentary, and engaging personal stories, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam provide listeners with valuable insights and laughs. As they prepare for Part Two, fans eagerly anticipate further breakdowns and discussions on the unfolding drama within RHOA.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisement segments and non-content sections to focus solely on the substantive discussion and analysis provided by the hosts.

Transcript

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ronnie Karam]

She has adult teeth. There are signs of puberty.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

You should get a lawyer.

[Ronnie Karam]

You have no idea how those people hurt this girl.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ronnie Karam]

Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and cheerful Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie, how are you?

[Ben Mandelker]

Hi, how are you, Ben?

[Ronnie Karam]

I am just great. God, it feels like it was just a few hours ago that we were all the way across the country hanging out and now look at us spread now. You're in Texas, I'm in California. How did this even happen?

[Ben Mandelker]

Planes crazy, crazy invention.

[Ronnie Karam]

Planes crazy, crazy inventions. Thank you to everyone who came out this weekend who came to our shows in Charlotte and Atlanta. That was so fun. It was so great to go back to both of those cities. Two of our favorite cities to go to. We always have so much fun. We had a great, great, great, great time. And today we're talking, we're recapping the Real Housewives of Atlanta, which is kind of funny because I watched it in the Atlanta airport this morning and now I'm here in LA to talk about Real Housewives of Atlanta, where I just was. And it feels like I should have stayed there. To recap, this feels wrong, but either way, before we die, we were also.

[Ben Mandelker]

At the Ponce Market. That's where we stayed. We stayed right there and they were showing close ups of it. I was like, oh, my God. Hi. We were just right there.

[Ronnie Karam]

Our first Atlanta show is in the Ponce Market at the City Winery. So every time they show that, that sign, I'm always like, oh, our first one. And one of our listeners reminded us, she was like, I was there at the first show when you guys did a double. Like a. In one night. I'm like, oh, my God. We were both like, can you believe we did two shows in one night? That's.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, we used to do that. We used to do two live shows in one night. That was. That was stupid.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's wild.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So anyway, our tour is going to keep on going. We are going to the Lincoln Theater in D.C. this weekend and then we're going to the Fillmore in Philadelphia the next day. That's gonna be on Saturday and Sunday. We have kind of a funky schedule and we. It's. It's weird. We're going to do Southern Charms Reunion Part one in DC because we felt like DC is like let's kind of like borderline the South. So we felt like that should be in D.C. and then for Sunday, we're going to do the latest recap for Summer House. So that's going to be several days after it airs. And so just, you know, for those who will not be at the show or just could be other parts of the country, thanks in advance for your patience. We just really wanted to do Summer Summer House in front of a live audience and, and it's really fun for us. So that is what the discount is going to be.

[Ben Mandelker]

What guess what we're gonna do to make up for it. We're not going to sit around having no crappings to listen to during the week. We're not monsters. So we are going to start by popular demand. And we know it's late, we know it's late, but we are going to start doing White Lotus recaps for the final two episodes. We're actually going to do a catch up episode today because it was the big one of the big episodes that everybody's been waiting for. A sword fight. That's all I'll say. A skin sword fight. We've been waiting for it all year and it finally happened. So we're going to be talking about that as an extra bonus this week. We've already released an airport snaps this week, but we'll be doing an extra bonus to entice you guys to sign up because we just love signups. But also the final two episodes will be recapped fully on Patreon. So go over there for that. And then also to make up for those shows being late this week, we will start recapping Top Chef.

[Ronnie Karam]

Top Chef is back, baby. We're doing it. We're going back into the world of Top Chef. And our first Top Chef is actually just going to be kind of like a talking about the cast, what's happened on the season so far. So that'll be happening later this week. So we have a lot of fun stuff happening this week. If you want to come see us in D.C. or in Philadelphia or if you want to see us in one of our future dates, maybe in Detroit or Boston or Chicago or Austin or Dallas or Las Vegas. Go to watch what crappens.com the schedule's there and ticketing links are there and we would love to see you there. So come join.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, we've been having a great time. It's been so great. So many people and you guys are so sweet and so funny, just loving. We're Having a great time. You guys are showing us a great time. I don't know how we're doing with you, but you guys are showing us a really great time.

[Ronnie Karam]

And I really had a career highlight, which is that someone brought me a Kia manual, user manual to sign over the weekend. And, yes, that was a very special moment.

[Ben Mandelker]

And someone brought us keychains for our antivan for Watch. What crap is antivan?

[Ronnie Karam]

Girl Scout cookies.

[Ben Mandelker]

Girl Scout cookies. And you guys all treated us well.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, it's been.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like gifts from people who really know us, you know, the true us.

[Ronnie Karam]

I know, but it was like, sign signing a key. Emanuel. That was. That was fun. That was like.

[Ben Mandelker]

That was pretty incredible.

[Ronnie Karam]

That felt. That felt like I had leveled up at that point, you know, it also.

[Ben Mandelker]

Made me super proud because they bought. They brought a physical copy of Lonesome Dove. Just the one book, not the four in the. In the not trilogy. What do you call that? A quat. A quatrogy. I don' know. But I was like, damn, I'm proud of myself that I read so many of these pages, you know, because I only see it on a Kindle.

[Ronnie Karam]

This really speaks to how. How little I am reading these days. Like, Ronnie, you just read a piece of literature that's the size of a yoga block. Ben, here's a user manual for ikea, because you talk about your Kia a lot. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right, let's get going with Real Housewives of Atlanta. Season 16, episode 3 called High Notes and cheap.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes, I cracked up. I was laughing in the airport. This episode was so funny to me. I'm loving this season so far. I am so excited. And today, the taglines are here. They have arrived. We have our new opening. The music, it's the same music, but they've kind of remixed it and kind of, like, spiffed it up a little bit. And the background now is kind of like, ooh, the streets of downtown Atlanta. But it's, like, very colorful and vibrant and saturated. I love it. I'm just, like, loving this season so far. I feel like I've not loved Atlanta. Like. Like, I feel like this. This season has been the strongest kickoff in so many years for me, for Atlanta.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, there are a lot of small gifts for people who are paying attention in the show, and one of them is that whenever the Waffle Queen comes on the screen, she has her own theme music. They play the succession theme music every time she comes home.

[Ronnie Karam]

Does not notice waffle.

[Ben Mandelker]

It is so fucking funny. It's the version of Succession they wrote for Karen, you know, when Karen had her. Oh, who's gonna get Surrey Palm? So they play it every time this chick comes on screen, and I laugh out loud every single time. I think it's so funny. Like, my waffle Dynasty. Which kid is gonna get the one? He's gonna get Nana's Waffles.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, I don't know if. Did we discuss this? And the season premiere, they also used my favorite bit of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City music that I feel like they've. They've taken it away from Salt Lake City. It appears in all these other shows as never on Salt Lake City. Do you know what I'm talking about? It is, of course, jam. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They played it at Shamia's party, and I was like, there it is. So anyway, the taglines are here. Do you want to kick it off with Portia?

[Ben Mandelker]

Sure. I snatched my peach back, but now I'm bringing the juice.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, that's pretty good. I like that.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know, man. Like, you just. You've still got Hot Dog man in your storyline. There's some things I just don't like squeezing juice out of. That's both Hot Dog man and Simon can keep your juices to yourself, Portia. Your juices have been tainted by some pretty gross men lately. Okay, Clean your juice before you spray it all over my television screen.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, then we have. Then we have Drew Sedora, whose tagline is very reminiscent of Countess Luann's one season. Hers is, I'll always be upper level. Everyone else is in the basement, which is a reference to Ralph being cordoned off into the basement. But Luann had one that was, I rise above the drama and won't settle for the lower level. Which you may remember is a reference to when Luann was put in the basement at Ramona's house. She's like, there was a spider above the sink. I'm in the basement. Could you believe it, girls?

[Ben Mandelker]

And then it continued into, and now I'm in the fish room. Wasn't it bad enough I got the basement? So now we go over to Shamia and Shamiya's, like, plus one. Honey, I've always been that one.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's a little generic, you know, also.

[Ben Mandelker]

Because Apple one raised their prices because, you know, they trick you, and they're like, Apple One is $5, and you get Apple Music, Apple TV and storage, and now they're like $5 million. So every time I hear one, I just get mad. But I like Shamia for the Most.

[Ronnie Karam]

Part, I like Shamia. I have some thoughts on Shamia, but I like Shamia.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's trying not to be the wind beneath your wings. I think it's very difficult when you're the Barbara Hershey in a relationship. You know, you've got Bette Midler, you saying you're the wind beneath my wings. And Barbara Hershey's like, awesome. I got to do nothing and get cancer young. So, you know, I didn't even get any attention. Spoilers, maybe. And I never worked again very much, you know, but here's Bette Midler singing the song at every fucking funeral.

[Ronnie Karam]

Excuse you. Barbara Hershey didn't work very much. She was in the Seminole ballerina film Black Swan, where she was so evil and so scary. And I remember seeing her at a. I got to go to a party once, and she was there, and I. I remember I walked up to her and I was like, you were amazing in Black Swan. And she looked at me like, oh, God, it's another gay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, but I mean, does she have the same. Like, she didn't have the same control over people? Like, Bette Midler could be like, gays go out and clean up the freeways. And we're like, oh, my God, I love cleaning up trash on the freeway. You know, Barbara Hershey really just never had that pull. And it's. Cause she was the wind beneath the win.

[Ronnie Karam]

And so I think she was the updraft.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So I think that Shamia's, you know, she's trying to, like, put on the Bette Midler wig, and she's trying to take over that role. And it's just gonna take, you know, it's baby steps.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's gonna be hard because, I mean, Shamia. Shamia came in as Portia's friend, like, sidekick, and then she kind of became Kandy's sidekick. And then. Was that my computer that just made that noise? Did I just.

[Ben Mandelker]

Something just beeped at my acid dingo.

[Ronnie Karam]

I think it was. I think it was me. This is supposed to be do not disturb. I guarantee that parents. Anytime it gets through, my parents have an ability to get right through. Do not disturb. Does not matter what. What settings you have on. My parents will be like, they'll find a way. We have a question about the Apple tv. And, like, Apple's like, oh, there's an Apple TV question. We're passing this to anyone's do not disturb. Yeah, but Shamia, she.

[Ben Mandelker]

Don't they have that thing which is like, Ben asked not to be disturbed, but do you want to disturb him anyway? Don't they have that thing now? Now you can say, like, I think, disturb him anyway.

[Ronnie Karam]

I think so. You know what? It wasn't even my parents. Did you hear that one too? Or was that just.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, the second. Was there a second ding?

[Ronnie Karam]

I heard there was a second one just now and that was. Okay, you didn't hear that. Okay. Thank God. My earphones. I'm losing my mind. Okay. This is what happens when you fly across the country before your podcast. I cannot. This is what happens when you talk about Barbara Hershey and the Black Swan is that you start to become the Black Swan. Like, do you hear that text message? Do you hear that?

[Ben Mandelker]

I will go away. Oh, my God, Swan. I only took from that movie. I was like, oh, my God, her eating disorder is so successful and she looks so good in eyeliner.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, all I was just gonna say was that Shamia and Candy, I mean, Candy has that song, you know, I Rise Above. So that's literally like Wind Beneath. She's basically like Shamia, like, you're the wind beneath my wings because I'm rising above and I can't do that without wind. And that's you. So Shamia's already in the Barbara Hershey role just by what Candy already sang.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. She's in the. She's in the barber Hershey roll. She's trying to be a vet, but it's going to take some time. We're going to need to give her some time to kind of warm up. I do miss Candy's. Candy was like, I like, you know, I don't know what hers was, but like, sometimes I sing and sometimes I fly above.

[Ronnie Karam]

But Shamia is keeping the spirit of Candy alive because Shamia sort of has Candy's hair like her. Candy's like original hair that she came on with, you know, when Candy had like that sort of short hair.

[Ben Mandelker]

Similar, but she doesn't have a blonde.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, it's not as spiky as Candy's original one, but sort of like round. It's very round on the top. So she is. She has kind of like the Candy Bears vibe, you know, going on with her.

[Ben Mandelker]

So kind of like the Jocelyn. Not Jocelyn Wildenstein. That's the lady whose face is rip.

[Ronnie Karam]

She just.

[Ben Mandelker]

Who did Halle Berry play in that movie? That old time movie star.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, Jocelyn Wildenstein. Yeah, Tally Berry is Jocelyn. Jocelyn Wilderson just died like a month ago. And her, her obit, I'm gonna tell everyone after you're Done Listening.

[Ben Mandelker]

Dorothy Dandruff.

[Ronnie Karam]

It is wild Dorothy Dandridge. Oh, yeah, I saw that movie. Didn't Shonda Rhimes write that or direct it?

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's something for everyone to think about. Okay, here is Kelly.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay. Jocelyn Wildenstein's. Hold on, I want to read Jocelyn. Jocelyn will then. By the way, if anyone is coming here for a recap that makes any kind of sense, you're in the wrong place. We're not there today, so just I.

[Ronnie Karam]

Feel like our post airplane recaps, the new late night recaps for us.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think we're just gonna be insane and we're never gonna stop.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, while you look that up, I was gonna make a comment about Barbara Hershey. I feel like there is this, like, class of actresses from the 80s, late 70s and 80s, respected and appreciated, but sort of forgotten about. It's like Kate Jackson, Barbara Hershey, Sissy Spacek. Who is Amy Madigan? You know, it's like that they, they worked. Holly Hunter was sort of in that group. But I think she, she, she, to quote Candy Burst, she rose above. I think she transcended that group. We all know them, and I think us gays, when you mention them, the gays are like, oh, my God, I love Amy Madigan. But the truth is they never quite got the gravitas of like a Bette Midler, you know? Yeah. And I feel like they're all win that group.

[Ben Mandelker]

They're all just wind. But, you know, we all need wind. No, I will say this about the Jocelyn Wildenstein obit. They're doing that thing where they make you pay to read it. I'm sorry. Something should just be free. Like, if there's a natural disaster coming, I shouldn't have to subscribe to your newspaper to read it. You know what I mean? Like, you should tell me, like, your house is on fire, like, but pay for a subscription to find out, you know, where it started. No, tell me. And if Jocelyn. Jocelyn Wildenstein dying is important news, I'm not paying you for it. Sorry.

[Ronnie Karam]

It is very important news.

[Ben Mandelker]

Speaking of, we'll be featuring that on our paid only Patreon this week. Okay, so who's next?

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay, I'm next for Kelly. Hers is I'm a mom of four girls. Give me attitude and I'll ground you too. Wow. Well, first of all, I'm disappointed in this one because I feel like there should have been a waffle punk. Like, I don't.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it should have been like, I have strong opinions and I Never waffle.

[Ronnie Karam]

Exactly. But she probably didn't want to say never waffle because it was against the brand.

[Ben Mandelker]

Right.

[Ronnie Karam]

Maybe something like, don't waffle with me, otherwise I'll hit you with an iron. Maybe too violent.

[Ben Mandelker]

Waffle with me and I'll cook you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, yeah. But I feel like the. I'll ground you, too. It's like, it makes it sound like she's like, I have four girls, and they're permanently grounded, so now you will be grounded, too. My daughters don't get to do anything. They're grounded.

[Ben Mandelker]

So. Yeah, I don't like that one either. And then we have Angela, who's like, if you want to find the shade, just look for the oak.

[Ronnie Karam]

I feel like it's forced. I appreciated, like, I think coming on the heels of Kelly's non waffle pun tagline, I was so thirsty for an appropriate pun that I was like, I accepted this oak pun, but in a vacuum, maybe not the best. I think we could do better. But I really like her.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm expecting Angela to be the new star of this show. She hasn't really become the new star of this show, but I'm expecting her to. And I can see her really doing all the necessary things, having the necessary conversation. Like when she tried to talk with her daughter about the other ladies, and she's like, why are you talking while Dad's making, you know, 97 pounds of broccolini or whatever he. Or Brussels sprouts, whatever he was doing. She's getting there, but she's just not there yet. So I expected something a little bit.

[Ronnie Karam]

Better, but she deserved a better tagline. But I love her so far. I think she is so funny, and she's shady, and I like that she's, like, older than the rest, because I'm always going to gravitate towards the oldest one in the cast. So I am. I'm totally. I think I've, like, chosen her as my favorite so far. Although I really like Kelly, too. Okay, so now we'll go to Brits. Excuse me. Let me put on my apparatus.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm pretty and paid.

[Ronnie Karam]

And of course, there's haters trying to shade pretty.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm pretty impaid, girl. That's not a way to outrun the hooker allegations.

[Ronnie Karam]

I know that's not pretty. And paid. What?

[Ben Mandelker]

Nobody owns me, but you can rent me? Like, what kind of line is that? Don't. Don't do that.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's also very, like, nursery rhymey. I'm pretty impatient. Of course there's haters trying to Shade. I don't know the rhyming. I don't know if I love rhyming in my housewives taglines. I feel like if they're like all.

[Ben Mandelker]

Doing it, you can do it, but you can't just be the only rhymy one. You know what?

[Ronnie Karam]

Like, why did she not incorporate insurance into it? She should have been like, like a good neighbor. I'll your man or something like that. You know.

[Ben Mandelker]

I may not be very progressive, but my insurance is.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm progressive and I've got good hands.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Okay, so those are the taglines. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[Ronnie Karam]

We've both been on a decorating journey lately, so we're just like really happy to have found our sponsor, Revival Rugs.

[Ben Mandelker]

Revival's founders didn't want to spend thousands on a new rug, but they didn't want to settle for mass produced, cheap alternatives either.

[Ronnie Karam]

Revival is a global company with teams in the US as well as weaving regions in India, Turkey and Morocco. They blend traditional techniques with contemporary designs. And let me tell you something. I got a revival rug and I actually decided to put it in the bedroom and it's under the bed right now and I absolutely love it. It had been hardwood floors all this time and to actually put my feet out of the bed in the morning and have them touch that beautiful, beautiful rug, it feels so luxurious and so lovely. I am beyond thrilled with it.

[Ben Mandelker]

It on the ordering experience, the shipping experience. I mean, everything was just so easy and fast. If you're in the market for a new rug, check out revival rugs.

[Ronnie Karam]

Visit revivalrugs.com WWC and use code crappins20 for 20 off your first order. That's revivalrugs.com WWC code crapins21more time revivalrugs.com WC with code C R A P P E N S 20 to save 20 off your order.

[Ben Mandelker]

South of Midnight is a third person action adventure game set in a version of the American Deep south you've never seen before. When a hurricane rips through, Prospero, Hazel is pulled into a magical Southern gothic world where reality and fantasy are intertwined. Learn the ancient powers of a weaver and face mythical creatures inspired by real folklore as you explore a beautifully handcrafted world. Featuring a soundtrack in inspired by the American South. Unravel the past in south of midnight. Available April 8, 2025 on Xbox Series XS Game Pass, ultimate and PC and Steam. Pre install on Game Pass or pre order now. Terms apply. See xbox.com subscription terms rated M for Mature Ben hadn't had a decent night's sleep in a month, so during one.

[Ronnie Karam]

Of his restless nights, he booked a.

[Ben Mandelker]

Package trip abroad on Expedia. When he arrived at his beachside hotel, he discovered a miraculous bed slung between two trees and fell into the best sleep of his life. You were made to be rechargeable. We were made to package flights and hotels and hammocks for less. Expedia Made to travel have you ever wondered how a circus performer could become the most powerful woman in the Byzantine Empire?

[Ronnie Karam]

Even the Royals is a podcast from.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wondery that pulls back the curtain on.

[Ronnie Karam]

Royal families, ancient empires, to modern monarchs.

[Ben Mandelker]

To show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty.

[Ronnie Karam]

Before she ruled an empire, Theodora was.

[Ben Mandelker]

A teen sensation in circus shows featuring dancing bears, burlesque performers, and blood soaked chariot races. But when her star came crashing down, she clawed her way from rock bottom to the very top, using everything from comedy to espionage to get there.

[Ronnie Karam]

Empress Theodora didn't just survive, she revolutionized.

[Ben Mandelker]

Women'S rights across the Byzantine Empire, like.

[Ronnie Karam]

Changing laws to let women divorce men.

[Ben Mandelker]

Own property and bring abusive men to justice. For all her work in pioneering, she's.

[Ronnie Karam]

Remembered as the most powerful Byzantine empress in history.

[Ben Mandelker]

Follow even the Royals on the Wondery.

[Ronnie Karam]

App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to even the Royals.

[Ben Mandelker]

Early and ad free by joining Wondery Plus. We start over at Britt's house and Brit's painful. Just, honestly, just. I don't even think she's done anything all that wrong yet. It's just that, that, that nose. I just feel so bad. I feel like someone conked her on the nose and it just permanently flattened it like in a cartoon. And it won't ever. And it's not the look of it, it's just the sound. It hurts my ear. So she's with Mike, the most uninterested husband of the season. Every time they show Mike, he. Even if he's not chewing on something, he's doing that thing where he's like, like he does not want to be there. He's got an imagined. He's got an imagined toothpick in his mouth. Death every single time he talks.

[Ronnie Karam]

If you're a dis. Like, if you're the most disinterested husband on this season, and this is the same season that has Charles Oakley and one guy, like, stuck in a basement that's saying something, okay, like that shows you're really disinterested. Yeah, but she so they're gonna have Mike's family over. And so this. What's. I also think that Britt and Mike are revealing themselves to be in like the Drew Sedora sort of space of wealth, which is to say not that wealthy, but trying to act like they're wealthy because they have this like private chef there. But I feel like they've never had a private chef before because they invite over his family. And Britt's assistant is there, this cute guy, and he's wearing like a full on tuxedo, and it's like he's handing people like paper plates of scallops. I'm like, have you ever cooked for people before? Like, have you ever.

[Ben Mandelker]

No. They're trying to make it like she has her parties all catered. Like, girl, you just had a scene last week where you were talking about your husband not buying you, like, real marble on your finishes. You know what I mean? And this week she's like, look at us. We have catering every week. And you know she doesn't because the chef is wearing a T shirt with his brand as big as possible on the T shirt.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, she's getting this for free and that's fine. But I don't need a pretend rich person, you know?

[Ronnie Karam]

Exactly.

[Ben Mandelker]

I prefer someone who's like, I'm middle class, but I'm gonna be richer than all these ladies.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, There was something about like, it's like, oh, we're, we're just gonna have some lobster tail and my assistant is in a tuxedo right now. I was like, like, but you're still in your, like, kind of suburban kitchen and it's like all casual. I just felt like they'd never done this before. And they were like, maybe if we want to be like fancy folks, we'll put someone in a tux and. Oh, lobster. Definitely lobster. What?

[Ben Mandelker]

What is this little movie with the kid? One of the kids is like, lobster. Don't you think that's a little too fancy?

[Ronnie Karam]

Even the kid did like, shut up, kid.

[Ben Mandelker]

We do this every day.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like on Yelp. He's on kid Yelp. Be like, yeah, stars.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I always think of restaurants because I, I had a chef when I was working in restaurants one time. Be like, the funniest thing about lobster, they're the trash of the sea. Everybody knows it.

[Ronnie Karam]

They're not the trash of the sea.

[Ben Mandelker]

That is a crawl along the sea and eat all the garbage. You know, rich people are like, oh, my God, lobsters are amazing. Lobsters are.

[Ronnie Karam]

Congratulations. So does Every other animal. Every other animal literally eats garbage if they. It. If they think it's given the chance.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, I don't want. There's one right behind me. Look at him.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ben Mandelker]

There, Bueller.

[Ronnie Karam]

We're all acting like all our pets aren't sniffing each other's asses and stuff. They're all down there. Well, the only ones who aren't crawling along the bottom are those, like, are. Are truly are just like fish, you know, like a tuna is going to stay right mid. Mid sea level to ocean. Look at this guy. He looks like he had a big portrait of a big plate of poop. He had a lot of poop today.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bueller Coma starring Barbara Hershey.

[Ronnie Karam]

For those who are listening at home, Ronnie has moved out of the way, and we can see that Bueller is passed out on the sofa from eating too much poop today.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, he did. He doesn't eat it now, but he did when he was a puppy. Puppies are the worst poop eaters of all time.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, anyway, the point is this. I was. I was. Don't eat poop. And like this. This bill just cracked me up because it just was so put on, right? So she gives us some backstory, and she's like, I dated all these guys and they're just like, super over the top, you know, stunt flossing. And I was like a huge video vixen in high school, so I was.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like a bad bitch.

[Ronnie Karam]

And I was like in all the music videos. So I've been lit since day one. But then when I met Mike, he was just very reserved, and I decided, okay, I can stop having fun for the rest of my life. So I decided to get with him.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I really. I really am attracted to a guy who doesn't need to look cool. And he just, like, he doesn't even spend money on real toothpicks. He just has pretend ones in his mouth while you talk to him. And he's like, yeah, that's me. So the big conversation here is we're gonna get a real ceremony soon because they had the Vegas wedding or the city hall wedding, and he, listen, this man is not going to spring for your real marble counter. Countertop. He is not going to spring for a wedding. This man is cheap. Okay, we know this man is cheap. And sometimes that's a great thing because I'll save your money, you know? And I feel like a lot of times on the show, nobody's saving their money, but this man is going to save that money. But she is going to get that ceremony. Because now a couple of cast members are doing this. Now she's on reality tv, and that's a storyline. You know, she wants her. She's already going to go for a wedding spin off. And then Angela Oakley later is like, oh, shouldn't we renew our vows, honey? And he's like, oh, for sake, no.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, I was so sad when she said that. I was like, but I like you two together. I don't want you guys to get divorced. So the other thing about Brit that we learned is that she used to date Rick Ross, which, you know, that's exciting for her. And then now all the lobster comes out and they're.

[Ben Mandelker]

There was a lot of bragging I didn't really understand.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, Rick Ross was like. I mean, he still is.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I guess when. I guess it's when you dated Rick Ross, right?

[Ronnie Karam]

When. Imagine if it was just some guy named Rick Ross. It wasn't the Rick Ross.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was Rick who owns Ross Dress for Less.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Now I would date that. Yes.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's amazing, man, right there.

[Ronnie Karam]

So. So, yeah, she dated him. And then now they're just sort of making small talk at the table because basically Brit is. She's kind of just like, gearing up so she can have a scene with her sister in law. So she's like, talking about how she met Kenya and how Kenya was kind of shady, but, like. But like, as long as Kenya keeps it cute, everything will be cool, you know? So eventually Brit, out of nowhere, in the middle of their nice lobster dinner, is like. Like, hey. She says it's to her sister in law, Natasha. Hey, do you want to go downstairs so we can talk? So in the middle of dinner, they just go down to the basement.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she has a champagne room, or what she kind of refers to, like, she kind of insinuates as her champagne room. So they go downstairs and yeah, there's this whole other room because she's trying to do a shamia now. Like, I have a separate room where we can talk. I'm rich, too, by the way. I have to just say Rick Ross is still pretty hot. I mean, he's still hot. Ish.

[Ronnie Karam]

Rick Ross is hot.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, not hot, but he's. I figured time probably did. Did a number on him, but he still looks the same to me. You know, he has nice furs and gold chains. I'm looking at him right now.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, he, you know. Okay, there was one time when I was an Uber driver when I had to pick up someone and I had to, like, Drive them. Like, Rick Ross was like in a. He was like in a. Like in a. Not a van, but he was like in a sprinter van or something or like an suv. And I had to like, bring a musician to his van.

[Ben Mandelker]

God, the Confessions. So weird. Confessions of a Trafficker.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, it wasn't. It was. It was just like an aspiring musician who was gonna have a meeting with Rick Ross and like, that you picked.

[Ben Mandelker]

Up from Nickelodeon and took over. What the hell? No van delivery.

[Ronnie Karam]

No. But there were all sorts of. God, I loved being an Uber driver. There's just so many random things. I think being an Uber driver in LA is fun because you get to. Every now and then you get to like, take someone to, like a famous person's house, like, or like a randomly famous person's house. Like, I once brought someone to Simon Cowell's ex wife's house. What's her name? Terry or whatever. She's like a correspondent extra. And I was like, ooh, I now know where that lady lives. The power, the power. The power of knowing where that extra correspondent lives in 2014. Very exciting.

[Ben Mandelker]

Infinity stone on the meaningless. The meaningless wrist of life.

[Ronnie Karam]

Someone up from Avicii's house. RIP and it was like a Swedish guy and. And he was just like talking. He's like, yeah, I'm staying with my friend. He's a dj. He's pretty famous. I was like, oh, really? He's like, yeah, his name's Avicii. Do you know him? I was like, of course I know who Avicii is.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

And now I can say, I picked someone up from Avicii's house and I will use this sometime in about 11 years on a podcast.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Or as I used to call him, FSI I. Okay, so here we are. Brit is talking about wanting a ceremony, and the sister in law's one. He's sure cheap. And then Mike's like, can we use scallops? I'm paying. I'm. I'm not paying for those scallops. I don't want to eat them. Get up there. We need to eat strawberry shortcake. And then we find out a little bit about Brit. And she says, my dad was a huge business professional in the orange industry. No. Did she say that?

[Ronnie Karam]

Did she say the orange industry? I just heard. I was watching this in an airport, so maybe I heard. I just heard her say that he was a huge professional, but I didn't hear the orange industry.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's what's in our nose. I don't. I don't know But I love. I mean, people do eat oranges a lot still.

[Ronnie Karam]

So there is an orange industry. Okay. It's not. It's called Tropicana, not tropicanta. Okay. It's a thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And so he worked really hard and he left behind. When he passed away, he left the mom a $2 million life insurance policy, but she didn't get it because he was in between jobs. So I guess it didn't transfer from.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's crazy.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's crazy, right? I mean, I get the health insurance is like that, but is life insurance like that too?

[Ronnie Karam]

That makes no sense, by the way.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's such that health insurance is tied to your job and you're stuck to your job forever because you can't get health insurance because health insurance is $9 million now and covers nothing. You. Health insurance. How are we not riding in the street other than the fact that I'm exhausted?

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay. Well, yeah, I mean, there was. They got a little violent there in. In December. So then.

[Ben Mandelker]

Then we have only one person.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, that's pretty violent. Someone got murdered. But, like, because people are angry. People are angry about it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Calendar after my last doctor bill. Yeah, I'd buy it.

[Ronnie Karam]

He'll be on Dancing with Stars someday. So anyway, the point is that.

[Ben Mandelker]

What a wonderful pasa doble. God, you really, really earned this 10.

[Ronnie Karam]

So the point is that they were owed $2 million and I don't know what happened, why they didn't get it. That's absolutely crazy. And of course an insurance company is gonna, like, screw them out of it. And so then she decided to start her insurance agency because she didn't want this to happen again. So she started to go fund me. When her dad passed away, she didn't want anyone to go through what she went through. And she's. By the way, she's telling this to her sister in law as if the sister in law has not heard the story about 10 different times. And Natasha's like, mm, okay, great. Yeah, okay. Huh. Huh.

[Ben Mandelker]

Great.

[Ronnie Karam]

Love to hear the story again.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, I come from a hard background too. My brother won't pay for marble countertops. How do you think. How easy do you think that is to live down?

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, I have a lobster tail upstairs. How much longer is this gonna be? Because last time I checked, I put some foil over it and it's just not gonna be the same.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Britt tells us this kind of weird story about a business. So the dad passed, then she started to go fund me. And she doesn't want to ever have to go through that again. So she decided to start her own family business. So she starts a family business with her two sisters, but then they got all pissed off when she decided to sell the family business. So was it a family business that you sold out from under them, or was this a business of yours that you hired them to work at and then it was your right to sell it? Because the way she told it, I was like, well, I'd be pissed at you too. You can't just sell their business.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, something. There's more of this story, and I love. I love a. I love a stupid family controversy like this. You sold the family insurance company. So I. I definitely think there's more than meets the eye. This is like a Danielle Cabral level thing, you know, where Danielle Cabral's like, I don't know what happened. You know, I just was. I. I made a joke, and now my brother won't talk to me anymore. I'm like, we know it was more than a joke.

[Ben Mandelker]

You made a couple of innocent tick tocks, and finally you got a brother who wants to start some. Some with you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I feel like there's a larger story to be told, and I'm excited when it. When it finally bleeds into the tabloids. So Natasha's like, you know, you push family so hard, you know, we shouldn't even be having this conversation. We gotta fix that. Also, again, lobster tail upstairs and some nice sides. I'd like to get back to that, please.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, so the husband, Michael is like, get up here and eat the strawberry shortcake. And he goes, it's even got a little lemon twist. And she goes, not a lemon twist. So I was like, yeah, just please, at least pretend you've had catering before. Come on, man.

[Ronnie Karam]

But by the way, there actually is more. Some more context to the story because Britt actually says more. She says that she brought her sisters into the business, and she said that her older sister felt like she was too tough as a boss, so she left. And then her middle sister, she got very complacent, so Brit had to fire her sister. There's stories here I can't wait to hear.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I want to see these stories too. Okay, so then we go to lunch with Portia and Kelly at a place called Lock and Key, which is interesting because I think Portia's been locked out of her house now, like, five times. So I would think this would be a triggering restaurant to take her to. But here we are.

[Ronnie Karam]

There's a joke in Here about Ralph in the basement. I just haven't quite articulated it yet. So Portia is, like, saying that she's been refrained from drinking. She's like, but I need whatever is strong enough to deal with whatever Kelly's bringing. So I need. I need Hanisha to come down and help me with this.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

She actually says, I've been reframing from drinking, which it's good to see that Portia's still Porsche at the end of it. I'm reframing from drinking.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, yeah, I got that too. So Kelly shows up and she's like, well, and it's like the Succession music. That's how you know Kelly's coming. It's like the pianos from Succession, so. Huh. So she's like, well, I'm not drinking today because this is a scene where they supposed to hate. They're supposed to hate each other. And so she's like, you know, I don't know this girl at all, but I'm optimistic about seeing a different side to where, you know, I'm not going to be mean to the only person who actually makes fresh carbs.

[Ronnie Karam]

Kelly's like, yeah, the vibes are definitely off. However, I do have an upcoming event at Bama, which she says about 45 times this episode. Like, sorry, got an event coming up later today at Bama.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bad that even Balman or Balmain. How do you say it? I mean, I don't know. I'm too poor.

[Ronnie Karam]

I think it is Balmain. But she says Balman so many times.

[Ben Mandelker]

I feel bad that Balman has to, like, do this kind of an event because there it seems sad, you know? Like, Balman doesn't seem like it should have to do this, where they're like, we're gonna give 10 of 10 of your Balmain to poor people. How about 90? Okay. Are you that desperate for sales that you're gonna, like, turn this into a fake charity thing? Poor Balmain. They really.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's just funny because it feels like fashion. Fashion houses. Yeah. They shouldn't even care about the rest of us. They should hate us. And so it's, like, weird that they're like, yeah, we're gonna do something that's charitable. We're like, what?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, they're like, we're gonna give us 10 of this to starving people. Just kidding. We love starving people.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, you never know what's gonna happen at Bombo. So. So basically, Kelly wants Portia to come to her event, and so she's gonna play nice, nice. So Kelly, we see a flashback that Kelly invited her. She's like, I would love you and your beautiful daughter to come visit this Mommy and Me event at Balmal. And by the way, you can tell, Bomb on Corporate was like, a mommy. A Mommy and Me event at one of our stores.

[Ben Mandelker]

Someone got fired over this.

[Ronnie Karam]

Someone was fired. Someone was fired?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, someone got. Someone heard. Like a mommy. You're inviting children to a Baumo on purpose.

[Ronnie Karam]

Get out. I have to say, like, I'm no joke. When she said that there was gonna be a Mommy and Me event and a Balmont, I thought maybe I misheard this. Maybe this is like. Like, a place with, like, a ball pit or something. Like ball. Like ball something. Like, I. I was like. Or a pizza place. I was like, this. Surely not a Mommy and Me event at a Balmain. I didn't know that that was allowed. And isn't that, like, the first rule of fashion? No Mommy and me eventually sense. I don't know. Am I crazy? I just can't imagine Kelly Catrone signing off on such a thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, she'd be like, cry outside. Okay? So they decide. Portia decides she'll make up with her. So she's like. I mean, I don't understand. That's energy you're putting off today. I mean, I don't know what to expect. And she's like, what energy? She goes, I mean, I don't know. You just have so many different personalities, you know? I don't know none of them yet. And she goes, oh, really? I have have different personalities? Like, she's trying to do this, like, bad attitude, and Portia's just laughing at her the whole time, which is cracking me. Porsche's like, girl, I'm not giving you this. You are new. You don't get to have, like, some epic war with me the whole season. No, go with Kenya.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, that's exactly right. And you know, Kelly, you really missed a chance here, because when. When she said you have different personalities, Kelly, that was your cue to say, are you saying that I'm waffling between people and personalities? But she. So Portia's like, you know what? Kelly's a beautiful woman, and, like, she has a lot of personality. And they all start with L. Loud, loud, louder, Loud, ass loud.

[Ben Mandelker]

And she's like, well, I have different personalities and she has different men, so what difference does it make? Oh, don't slut shame her. She's making a living, for Christ's sake. She's had a lot of big houses in the past two years, okay?

[Ronnie Karam]

She has Has. But I did laugh when Kelly said that. So Kelly is like, you know, we honestly have so many things in common that we don't know. I mean, I feel like, you know, like, we have kids. We're mothers. We have kids. She really likes to say that a lot. She's like, we have so much in common. We have children. So that kind of means. Yeah, we're. We're like, you're like the ball to my mom.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Kelly's like, okay, look, I just. I had dinner with Brit and Shamia, and I was just trying to figure out what was going on with you. That's a all. She goes, that is not what was brought to me. Everything that was saying that y'all. That y'all said, I was like, that's a lot of stuff, you know, and, you know, to prepare to be this judge, you know, from people who don't even know me, who don't even own TVs. And Kelly's like, well, it wasn't. It was just very innocent. And I just said, you know, very innocently, why did she take that woman's husband?

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, it was just like saying, could I have a refill? It was just. It was so benign. And, you know, then she was like, well. And so Shamia said, that's a question for you to ask her when you see her. So Portia. Portia's like, wait a second. My best friend told you to approach me at her birthday party? I'm like, I don't think that's what that meant. I think it just meant, like, don't put. If you have an issue with her, you ask Portia. Don't put me in the middle of it. But Portia takes it as, wait a second. Shamia told you to set me up at a birthday party on our first day of shooting a group? Eventually.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, it's very poor, because she's like, listen, you're not important enough to fight over something stupid, but I will make something up. You know, I will make a reason up to fight with Shamia, because now they're making her the star of my show, and she's supposed to just be my friend, you know? So she's like, I'm gonna start shit with Shamia. Why? No reason. Really don't happen. But I'm gonna make.

[Ronnie Karam]

We have a reboot. We need to do something. You know, I actually have to say, you know what? You know, normally I would say, you know, you should always believe your bestie from high school over the newbie who's coming in But I think this maybe indicates that Portia's saying, hey, we gotta, like, kick things up here in Atlanta on this show a little bit. So, sure, if it means that I have to go fight Shamia, I will do it. I will do it for the show. And I appreciate that. Can do attitude, once you meet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Gave her a little attitude when she showed up late and, like, got into her scene about the car, like, gifting the car. And then Shamia was giving her attitude in the closet behind closed doors where she was like, not cool Portia or whatever. So Portia's like, oh, really? This girl thinks she's gonna come on and take over my show? Well, I'm going to start a fight with her now over telling me. Because in a normal episode, if Shamia didn't tell Portia that and this girl came for Portia, Portia would be like, you knew she was going to do that and you didn't tell me or you didn't tell me that she was, you know. So Porsche is just grasping. But I like it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, we're. I support it. I think it's great. And Portia's like, you know, Shamia shimmy knows that I'm going through a divorce right now, and I just don't see why she would do that. I mean, why would my friend set me up to be ambushed by Toto?

[Ben Mandelker]

So Kelly's like, well, we can tell her we cleared the air. She goes, whatever, you're a troll. And she's like, excuse me? And she's like, yeah, you know, I was just coming to have a good time. And she goes, oh, no, you like the ping pong with me a little bit. You like it? She goes, okay, at least you give energy. I like you. So they decide to be friends.

[Ronnie Karam]

I like. But she said, like. She said like, you're a troll, but you're like, what did she say? Like a glamour troll or golden troll or something. She like. She like, made like, a nice troll name for her.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And then Kelly tried to keep up. She's like, well, can I at least be the pink troll? So, yeah, she called her a treasure troll.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, treasure troll. That's what it was. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then we go to Drew in her studio, which cracks me up every single time. She's like, guys, hi. Hi, studio people. It's me, Drew. God, you might have seen me on a lot of posters on Tubi. And I've been in Puerto Rico, okay? I've been in Puerto Rico and I just did a whole movie of me screaming, we Shot for a grueling three days. It was rough.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. It was called the pass out. And it was just. It was just a lot of work. Oh, God. To be a working actress is a blessing. And now I'm here with you guys. God, I just thank you so much for being patient with me right now. So she goes into the booth and she's like, I'm not too good at keeping secrets. Everybody knows I'm not too good at hiding weakness. You got me?

[Ben Mandelker]

It shows Sausage comes in a cast mask. But you can't see it cause you live in a basement. Also, they show her. We see her singing to track because, you know, she probably hasn't learned the song and can't find a key. So they show. They play. They play the track of her singing. And the difference between the on key auto tune track and whatever is coming out of her mouth is. It's glaring. It's a glaring difference. But she doesn't notice. So she's really happy. And she's, of course, invited all the girls to come over and watch her sing and act like she. She's, you know, doing her first country album or whatever. She's like, girls, girls, please. Please stop the cameras. Stop the recording. My lovely girlfriends are here. Girlfriends, please.

[Ronnie Karam]

Girls, gather around. Hold on, please. If Barbra Streisand calls, tell her I'll reach her later, okay? Hello, Angela, Cynthia and Kenya. Please sit down. Welcome to my studio. Sorry if I sound a little hoarse. As I mentioned before. Shooting so many movies right now.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh.

[Ronnie Karam]

Anyway, to be a singer. And Cynthia's like, well, that was a love song. And I know a love song when I hear this. Like. Yeah. What part of the slow sounding music and her singing lyrics, like, can you fall in love for a minute? Indicates that it wouldn't be a love song?

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. I love the. Cynthia's like, got her finger on the pulse.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's like love for a minute.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's a love song.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's a love song.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's got it.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's got like the. She's got like the detective. She's got like the magnifying glass from like Carmen San Diego. She's like, I spy a love song. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

And she was like, well, it's a love song. But for me, it really speaks to me like a falling out of love song. Hence the basement references. And Cynthia's like, well, that must be healing because, you know, it's about your life falling out of love with Ralph. And she's like, yeah, this. It was really rough. You know, we Have a whole song about having a dinner thrown on top of a dry cleaner. So Comes from the Heart, this whole album.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. You know, I know when everything happened, Kenya was reaching out, and I just. I feel the love and support, you know, but I kind of go into a shell. It's just what artists do. And Cynthia's like, same, same. You know, I just threw myself into my career. All the nothing I've been doing since you've seen me last, I've been professionally doing nothing. And I've just really thrown myself into that nothing since then. I did a TikTok dance, and I did Ride later at the Beverly Center. But other than that, it's been great. Really.

[Ben Mandelker]

Have cleaned my countertops, so that's been fun. Spent a lot of time in my kitchen on my career, my countertop career.

[Ronnie Karam]

So fantastic. It really is fantastic. I just want to leave you with that nugget. It's a great, great.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they ask Angela. Angela's there, too. So they're like, so have you been married? You know, have you been married before? Like, what did you do after your first divorce? And she's like, oh, no, no. This is our first marriage. Marriage. And so they ask how she met him, and she tells him the elevator story. And she goes, but, you know, we were neighbors, but trust me, he was a bachelor. And I had people at the front desk watching. And she's like, oh, yeah. I would go to the doorman and be like, have you seen Charles? Did he get any messages today or hoes in his house?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And everyone's like, laughing that she did this and everything. And so then Drew is like, hey, hey, hey, Vlad. Sound engineer Vlad, could you get everyone beverages? Thank you so much. They treat me so well. You know, they're so good to artists here. It feels great. And Kenya's like, isn't. Isn't Dennis supposed to be here? Where's Dennis right now? And she was like, oh, you know what? How about champagne? Do you guys want me to pop champagne? We can pop the champagne. I can ignore that question.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Because she even said earlier, she's like, well, Dennis is. Oh, no. She says later. She's like, he's supposed to be in the studio today because we're supposed to be picking my single. But, you know, he can't come because Portia just told him he's dead meat if he ever does this on camera with Drew. Right? But, yeah, she's trying to avoid it, and they're teasing her. And Kenny's like, you, I asked you about Dennis. And so Angela's like, so the hot dog guys executive producing albums now? She's like, oh, yeah, he is. He's doing great. Let me tell you. He was the biggest surprise on my trip to Puerto Rico. Huge, huge support. Three days of pure support.

[Ronnie Karam]

Did you guys talk about the situation with Portia? That was crazy. She was like, no, didn't talk about it. But we texted and Drew says that she. That, like, she tried to talk. She says that doesn't answer the phone. And they don't talk on the phone. And we're look, she goes, we never ever talk on the phone. And it cuts to her talking on the phone like, hey, what's going on? And you don't look, we're not even friends. We are strict. We have a strict business relationship. And it's just a close up of his contact in her phone, which says, dennis, bro.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So she's trying to play this down. She's like, you know, like, these girls, they just want to attack me. I mean, it's just always everybody versus me. And Kenny's like, don't play victim. A lot of the stuff you brought on yourself, okay, I do love you. But this. You started working with him without speaking directly to her. Okay. And Cynthia's like, oh, yeah. Oh, no. Drew first is like, no. I texted her January 23rd. I said, hey, girl, you want to hang out? Then on 20th, the 26th, she said she's out of town. Then I reached her 23rd, and she hit me back March 8th. So come on, guys. Come on, guys. Who's tried and who hasn't tried?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. No. Now, yes, admittedly, Drew texted Portia and tried to, like, set up a one on one moment with her. But also, you could just text and say, hey, Dennis approached me about working on music together. I wanted to get your blessing because I think it would be really fun. You could just text that. But that's it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Because she says they had a date at Nobu. And I don't believe that either. I believe she was like, portia, do you mind if I work? You know, is it going to be okay with you if I work with Dennis? And she's like, no, boo. And she's like, see, we had a reservation and she totally canceled it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, she said she had reservations, comma, no, boo. And, you know, she just bailed on dinner. So Cynthia's like, Cynthia basically is like, yeah, you can just pick up the phone and just call her. I mean, it's not that hard. I did it. So she. Cynthia's like, you know when Kenya booked my baby's daddy Leon for life twirls on which, as we all remember, went on for negative three seasons on Lifetime Television for women. And we see clips of Kenya's pilot that she did that one season that was so bad.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Kenya's had a string of crazy businesses on this show.

[Ronnie Karam]

I know. Hey everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

She ain't no shrewd drinking Violet Coutar we love you guys if you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.