#2774 RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean

Summary

Watch What Crappens - Episode #2774 Summary: RHOA S16E03 Part Two: Mommy and Mean

In episode #2774 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve deep into the tumultuous world of The Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA) Season 16, Episode 3, titled "Mommy and Mean." This detailed recap captures the key storylines, character dynamics, and the hosts' sharp, humorous insights, providing both fans and newcomers with a comprehensive understanding of the episode.

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1. Portia's Ongoing Divorce Drama

Portia continues to navigate the complexities of her divorce from Simon. The episode highlights her struggle to communicate and find closure, especially concerning allegations tied to Simon’s controversial past.

• Courtroom Confrontations: A significant portion of the episode focuses on Portia's legal battles. Ben emphasizes the drama surrounding Charles Oakley's infamous incident at Madison Square Garden, stating, “Charles Oakley was ejected from Madison Square Garden and arrested...” (11:19). This event has left a lasting impact on his relationship with Portia.

• Emotional Struggles: Portia's emotional turmoil is evident as she grapples with her feelings towards Simon. Ronnie comments on Portia’s resilience, saying, “She's put her emotions into making large batch amounts of corn on the cob. That's easy” (12:58), highlighting the juxtaposition of her external calm and internal chaos.

Notable Quote:

Ben (04:09): “So she’s like, but Dennis, he’s been so professional. I mean, the songs are paid for.”

2. Angela and Charles' Marital Tensions

Angela and her husband Charles face marital strains amidst their real estate ventures. Angela’s ambition to prove her capability leads her to purchase multiple properties, causing friction in their relationship.

• Home Renovations: The hosts dissect Angela’s decision to buy five houses simultaneously, questioning the practicality and its impact on her marriage. Ben remarks, “They didn't do that. Let me just say. She. It wasn’t that drastic of a before and after.” (09:53), critiquing the extravagant renovations.

• Vow Renewal Plans: As Angela pushes for a vow renewal, Charles expresses his exhaustion and reluctance. Ronnie humorously suggests alternative ways for Charles to manage stress, saying, “God, you should love. You should love your therapist” (14:06).

Notable Quote:

Ben (08:54): “No, I've seen those kind of staircases before where it's just like a big rectangular hole in the floor and then they put a railing around it in the middle of the floor.”

3. Shamia's Family Challenges

Shamia faces personal struggles as she prepares her daughter Shia for tonsil surgery, adding another layer of complexity to her already demanding life.

• Medical Concerns: The discussion touches on Shamia’s anxiety over her child's health, with Ben exclaiming, “Shimmy? You have to build on the suspense. Like, Cheyenne needs something worse.” (07:29), highlighting the over-the-top dramatization of routine medical procedures.

• Family Dynamics: Shamia's interactions with her sisters, Tawana and Glenda, reveal underlying tensions and support systems. Ronnie reflects on the repetitive nature of Shamia’s family drama, stating, “It's getting a little old for me. It's real.” (06:36).

Notable Quote:

Ronnie (07:03): “Yeah, basically it’s that her daughter needs to get her tonsils out and she’s like, now her tonsils have to come out.”

4. Kelly's Charitable Endeavors and Event Mishaps

Kelly hosts a charity event aimed at raising awareness and funds for osteogenesis imperfecta, a brittle bone disease affecting children. The event is meant to showcase community support but is marred by typical reality TV chaos.

• Event Highlights: Kelly’s heartfelt speech about her children battling osteogenesis imperfecta is a poignant moment in the episode. However, Drew's tardiness leads to comedic frustration from the hosts. Ben humorously remarks, “She comes, and they’re like, have you spoken to Portia? Are you gonna fight with Portia today?” (29:35).

• Behind-the-Scenes Drama: The hosts critique the production decisions, noting missed opportunities to capture significant moments, such as Wickam and Drew missing Kelly’s emotional address.

Notable Quote:

Ronnie (34:55): “So Kelly explains what this charity is for, and she explains that basically, osteogen sinus imperfecta is brittle bone syndrome…”

5. Host Commentary and Humorous Insights

Throughout the episode, Ben and Ronnie infuse their recap with sharp humor and candid opinions, making the analysis both entertaining and insightful.

• Architectural Critiques: Ben and Ronnie dissect the design choices in Angela and Charles' homes, providing a humorous take on impractical architectural elements. For instance, Ronnie jokes, “It's like massage spiders... Maybe it's just what the cast of the Heights is up to these days.” (23:40).

• Pop Culture References: The hosts frequently reference 80s and 90s pop culture, adding a nostalgic flair to their commentary. Ronnie nostalgically mentions, “I just love that they’re just going into these, like, pop culture references of the 80s and 90s.” (39:13).

Notable Quote:

Ben (21:44): “Where were the cameras? How did you not let us see Ralph cross examining Drew in a court of law?”

6. Conclusion and Episode Wrap-Up

As the episode concludes, the hosts recap the intertwined relationships and unresolved tensions among the cast members. They emphasize the ongoing nature of the drama and hint at future developments in upcoming episodes.

• Unresolved Tensions: The episode ends with Angela and Shamia exchanging barbed remarks, setting the stage for future confrontations. Ben sums it up, “So Andrea’s saying, you are dismissed,” (37:52), highlighting the cyclical nature of their disputes.

• Final Thoughts: Ronnie and Ben encourage listeners to stay tuned for more recaps and analyses, promising continued coverage of Bravo’s reality TV events.

Notable Quote:

Ronnie (44:45): “Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.”

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Key Takeaways

• Emotional Turmoil: The episode underscores the emotional and psychological strains faced by the cast members, particularly in high-stakes situations like divorce and parenting challenges.

• Character Development: Continued exploration of each housewife’s personal growth and setbacks provides depth to their narratives, making their journeys relatable and engaging.

• Humorous Critique: Ben and Ronnie's ability to blend humor with critical analysis offers a balanced perspective, making the recap enjoyable for listeners.

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Final Thoughts

Episode #2774 of Watch What Crappens offers a thorough and entertaining recap of RHOA's latest drama, packed with insightful commentary and humorous observations. Whether you're a die-hard fan or new to the Housewives' saga, Ben and Ronnie provide a compelling narrative that captures the essence of the episode while keeping listeners hooked with their witty banter.

Transcript

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Visit RevivalRugs.com WWC and use code crappins20 for 20 off your first order. That's RevivalRugs.com WWC code crapins21more time RevivalRugs.com WWC with code C, R, A, P, P, N S20 to save 20% off your order. Guess what happens when there's so much that happens. Hi everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode.

[Ben]

So she's like, but Dennis, he's been so professional. I mean, the songs are paid for. And Kenny's like, huh? And you're being talked about like you're a. Have some self respect. She's like, what? And Cynthia goes, oh, no, not a. A hoe. We can rock with hoes. Almost a compliment, but a, that's very bad.

[Ronnie]

So then they start talking about Shamia. And Cynthia's like, by the way, Angela, have you spoken to Shamia since she kicked it off? I mean, and Angela's like, no, Shamia went hard on me. And Drew's like, well, we did hang out. And they say that, like they got into like a little thing. And Angela's like, you know, I just asked Shamia like, why did you ask her that question from the group? And then she just went off, you know, she said, well, I didn't ask Drew if she. Dennis, I didn't say that. And ken's like, huh? She 100 said that. Am I crazy?

[Ben]

And she didn't say that. She said, is it true that you are dating Dennis now? And so we come back and Cynthia's like, well, I'll never hear that. Wow. Wow. How did it end? And Angela, she says that she just stormed away. Now she Me is mad at her and she's shocked and she's like, well, someone's like, first of all, Portia doesn't need anybody to help her. Oh, Cynthia says that she's like, she's fine. She'll gather somebody if she wants to. And she goes, well, I will say. Portia reached out to me the day after Shamir's birth birthday and she said, we need to talk. So that's where we are now. She said, let's do this. Somewhere you can afford. Please pack a sandwich. We'll just stop at a park.

[Ronnie]

So Cynthia is like, well, I'm gonna leave you with this baby. Daddy's hit different. So now we go to Shamia's house where she's catching up with her sisters, Tawana and Glenda. And I'm starting to get a little nervous that as is our. Is it going to be that every time we go to Shamia, it's going to be like her with her family just like talking about shit, that family stuff.

[Ben]

Like, I'm like, the sad, dramatic stuff.

[Ronnie]

You know, it's like, listen, I know she's gone through a ton with these kids and I think we all support her, but I'm like, oh, is it going to be that, like, every time we go to Shamia, it's like, and then today I've been going through so much, my child, I'm like, I don't know if I could go through a crying over my child thing every single time we go to Shamia. Like, it's getting know we're only three episodes in, but it's getting a little old for me. It's real.

[Ben]

Like, could your kid please heal quicker because you're eating into my time.

[Ronnie]

It's real. It's real. So, you know, it's real. But also, like, every time I go to Shia, it's. It's kind of this. And I'm like, I don't. I don't.

[Ben]

Yeah, but there's a lot of real stuff that happens in life that I don't want to dwell on. I just ignore it. That's why I talk about this all day. I don't want to talk about your real stuff and your real pain. Okay? Ff, Fast forward this. So that's what I did. So good luck to the kids. I hope that.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, basically it's that her daughter needs to get her tonsils out and she's like, now her tonsils have to come out.

[Ben]

I'm like, well, I had to rewind that because she made. This was such a Dramatic thing. She's like, first, first what happened with Shiloh? And we know that that's really dramatic. You know, she's like, and all this happened with Shiloh. My other daughter just doesn't want me to go to the hospital. Now I'm trying copy up again. Can I even do this again? And now Shia has to get her tonsils. I was like, tonsils?

[Ronnie]

I was like, what?

[Ben]

Shimmy? You have to build on the suspense. Like, Cheyenne needs something worse. You know what I mean? You can't go from the devastating Shiloh news to tonsils out. I mean, come on. I was actually glad that it was.

[Ronnie]

Just tonsils, but I was like, I know, me too. Like, ultimately it is good. That's just tonsils. But she talks about how her sisters have been there for her and when things were really tough with. With Shiloh and everything. Her sisters would like, pick up, you know, like Shia from school and it's just basically like, it takes a village, yada, yada, yada. Very nice. Kind of boring, but like, great village. We love it. I want to see more of. And she's. Her journey is. Is.

[Ben]

It's boring, you know. Okay, so next scene. Now we go over to Angela and Charles, the grumpy ass husband I need. Now, I've been thinking about all these properties that they have. This is too many properties because she's obviously just starting out where she's like. And now is where I proved to Charles that I can actually handle his money by buying five houses at a time. Too many houses.

[Ronnie]

One, this. This house that I'm going to welcome America into has an open concept. But then a staircase in the middle of the concept that goes down to hell was.

[Ben]

It was just like a big room.

[Ronnie]

And then I got staircase right in the middle. I was like, what. Why is there a staircase? I think that staircase was. It was originally not an open concept. Right. And they were originally walls. That staircase made sense where it was, but they clearly took down the. The. The walls and now it's just a big open room with a staircase in the middle of it.

[Ben]

No, I've seen those kind of staircases before where it's just like a big rectangular hole in the floor and then they put a railing around it in the middle of the floor. It makes no sense. I hate that style. I can't believe they kept that. Like, if you're going to get a house and redo it, you need to put a proper, proper staircase.

[Ronnie]

And that's just staircase.

[Ben]

Like, what do you. What are you, a firehouse you know what I mean? Get a pole. What do you.

[Ronnie]

What do you. What are you. Drew Sedora singing? Do it right Ralph down there.

[Ben]

He's like, I'm almost finished stalling the light switches down here.

[Ronnie]

We call those Ralph ladders. So. So Angela's, like, schlepping in all this heavy stuff. And then finally, like, Charles shows up, and she's like, well, thanks a lot. Like, now they're taking in all the heavy stuff. He's like, so. So he's. They. They go in, they bring all the stuff inside and everything. They look around the house, and she's showing him all the stuff that she's done. She's like, look, you know, look at what I've done. Here we see before and after. You know, it's like a. You know, it's like a nice house, A perfectly fine house.

[Ben]

They didn't do that. Let me just say. She. It wasn't that drastic of a before and after. Fix the stairs. You got to fix that. So now we find out she wants a vow renewal. And he's like, man, I'm exhausted. I'm old. Why do I have to do this? She's like, you have to. We're on a TV show. Now it's my turn. So then she tells us this sad story. She tells us what made him sad in the first place. You know, we get his origin story. So at 2, 2017 in Madison Square Gardens, that was a rough time because Charles was attending a game, and the owner doesn't like Charles, and so he called security to escort Charles out. And that was right when they were married. And then he needed time to heal. I was like, damn, that's getting kicked out. How many places I've been kicked out of. I'm fine. Well, maybe I'm not fine.

[Ronnie]

She kind of, like, played it down because I remember actually when it happened.

[Ben]

It was what happened. It was tell a non sports gay what this means.

[Ronnie]

I'm hazy on it, but, like, he was in there and he did get, like, made, like, news. It was like. It was like. It was trending all over Twitter. It was on the news everywhere. You know, all the. All the. Everyone on ESPN was all like, you know, abuzz about. It was like, it was a thing. I don't really remember the details of it, but I know that people were shocked because Charles Oakley is like, n royalty. And so for him to get kicked out of MSG just was, like, it felt like, rude. But I don't remember all the details around it, but I just know it.

[Ben]

Was like, okay, well, here it is.

[Ronnie]

It wasn't.

[Ben]

We have AI, thankfully. Why did Charles Oakley get kicked out of msg? Charles Oakley was ejected from Madison Square Garden and arrested. Oh, she. She missed that part. It was after an altercation with security guards stemming from comments he made to Nick's owner, James Dolan, and was subsequently banned from the arena.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

During a nickel game against the Los Angeles Clippers, Oakley, who had purchased a seat near Dolan, allegedly made comments directed at the owner. Security approached him. An altercation ensued with Oakley being escorted. Charges? He was charged with three counts of assault and criminal trespass. Pants. Pants.

[Ronnie]

He pants to him still. It was awkward.

[Ben]

He took down the pants at Madison Square Garden and he went to jail.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I feel like there was. There was, like, more to it. Like, it was. It was enough of a media kerfuffle that it was not just like, oh, he just got kicked out and that's why he was sad. Like, I think that there was probably some, like, media stuff that was just. There was more to the story. I just don't remember and I didn't know.

[Ben]

Oakley has since filed a lawsuit against MSG and Dolan alleging assault, battery, false imprisonment, and defamation. But this, the case against him is assault and harassment, and that was dismissed. So he has not attended a Knicks game since and remains banned from msg. So, you know, I mean, I get it. He didn't get to go see Adele, you know, and that's been a rough time.

[Ronnie]

He's put his rage. He's put his rage or his frustration or his sadness. He's put his emotions into making large batch amounts of corn on the cob. That's easy.

[Ben]

He's decided that now he's going to design homes that if he ever has Nolan over to his house, he can push him down the stairs more easily.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, like James Olan. Stand right there.

[Ben]

All right, so she says that this, like, made him really depressed, and then it was really rough. And, you know, as. As you do when you're with a partner who's going through a rough time. She was like, fuck this. I'm out of here. Call me when you're happy again. So she left him and then waited for him to get happy again and then got back together. That's my kind of girl.

[Ronnie]

That's.

[Ben]

She's like. And when he needed me the most, I said, fuck off. You're depressing. Call me when you're happier.

[Ronnie]

So. So now they're gonna do a vow Re means that we have about nine months left. Of this relationship. And then we have. And then she's talking about how she's going to therapy, and he's like, but that's. He's like, that's three. $3,000 a month. You know how many corn cobs you could buy with that? God, you should love. You should love your therapist. Is that a discount? And she's like, why are you against therapy? He's like, well, you. You should at least have a 20% off. When you go that often, isn't there, like, a punch card you get that?

[Ben]

Is Wendy, though, right? I mean, how much?

[Ronnie]

That is a lot. She says it's only about 1200amonth. So that's probably like 300 a session. Four sessions a month. I'm gonna.

[Ben]

I'm gonna say, God, get a lap dance. You know what I mean?

[Ronnie]

Get a stockpot and some corn cobs and work it out that way.

[Ben]

It's a lot of peanut M M's is what I'm saying. So they decide that they're gonna sell these houses first, but she doesn't like it because she just bought five. She's like, oh, my God. Okay, so now Dr. To her lawyer. This office is considerably lower rent than Porsches. I felt bad for her because Portia had the most glamorous Porsche, the most glamorous lawyer scene we've seen. And Drew, you know, it was. It was sad. It was more true.

[Ronnie]

Poor Drew. She didn't even get a chance to go to see Randy, the official divorce lawyer for all cast members of Atlanta. And she. She just. She didn't get to ride that big elevator to a glassy window. She was with Tanya, who, as it turns out, I loved Tanya. And I loved how Tanya. Tanya was shady, and I. I thought she was great.

[Ben]

So Tanya was great because the other guy was like, oh, my God, Porsche, I love having you in my life. And I was like, randy got. Put it back in your pants. What a weird thing for a lawyer to say. But Tanya did not. She's like, okay, so sit down. I've got a lot of folders here. She was like, kind of tying daily, you know? She's like, all right, I got folders here to savvy seat. Let me go through this, Drew. All right, you're willing to pay me $5? I'm giving you five minutes. Sit down. We're going through this.

[Ronnie]

All right, she had TDE Time Daily energy, so. But then we find out so true.

[Ben]

From the show with Amy Brannigan, where Time Daily was a social worker is what I'M seeing. Bringing it all back to Amy Brannigan.

[Ronnie]

As we always should. Technically, I did mention it was Amy Madigan. Not Amy Brennerman, but Amy Brennaman. Oh, who's Amy on the spectrum? Exactly. But I think that like to tell.

[Ben]

People when they're on the spectrum, they.

[Ronnie]

Tell you Amy Brennerman and Amy Madigan. Well, they're on. They're. They're both Amy's. Look, look up, Amy Mannequin. You'll recognize.

[Ben]

No, I looked. I only care about Amy Brennan. Okay, so wait. Amy Madigan. Okay, I'm gonna look her up.

[Ronnie]

She's just in things.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah. Oh, no, she's. No, let me tell you who she's. No, she's no Amy Brennerman. But she was an Uncle Buck, so that's something. Okay, so anyway, Drew goes to see Time Daily Energy. And Drew is like, you know, I just didn't know the hearing was going to go like that. I mean, Ralph didn't have a lawyer, so he represented himself, so he had to cross examine me. I was horrible.

[Ronnie]

Bravo. Where were the cameras? How did you not let us see Ralph cross examining Drew in a court of law? This is one of the biggest fails. This is up there with the Bolo Knight. This is up there with the. The Orange county thing. We just. We just recapped where they didn't have the cameras up. Like, this is up there with the black eye with Heather Gay. How do you not have cameras on Ralph representing himself in a court?

[Ben]

And I know that the show was on break when this was happening, but still, you should have. You should still have people there. Like that movie that they did where they filmed it over a kid's lifet still just come back Boyhood. Yes.

[Ronnie]

Like that Ralph Hood.

[Ben]

The Journey.

[Ronnie]

We needed to see. We needed to see Ralph doing lawyer cosplay. So then Tanya's like, it was actually a confirmation of all the things you've ever said about him and his controlling and manipulative nature, you know, and you've been doing this for a long time. And we filed in 2023, and, you know, we have a hearing coming up, and she basically says that. That he has been like. Like they needed documents from Ralph, so that way they know how much, like, he's gonna pay. And so he handed over a giant stack of documents. And then when she looked through them, like, almost all the documents were Drew's documents. And so he just handed a big stack. So it looked like he was handing over a lot of documents, but didn't actually Hand over any of his own documents.

[Ben]

He doesn't do anything. Ralph doesn't do anything. His businesses were writing a book about fatherhood about her son. And then what else did he do? He tried to produce music, and he played music at church. What else did he do? Said financial a lot.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And then. Then also Tanya says, I love. This is my favorite thing that Tanya does. She goes, so now, currently, the divorce file is sealed, so only the judge knows what's in it. So if it gets unsealed. Well, like, for instance, he's a serial cheater. He's taken money out of your account. He's been sexting with other women.

[Ben]

And how.

[Ronnie]

Other women have been sending you messages. He was following you. He was tracking you. That's all private and confidential and will only come out to America if this gets unsealed and no one will ever know about it.

[Ben]

And I think she's saying that, like, okay, like, let's threaten Ralph. Like, we're gonna unseal this if you don't give us the documents, right? But then Drew makes it about herself. She's like, but all I care about is my kids reading. And, you know, all that coming out is scary. They know. They know this shit. Oh, my God. I mean, I would think that they would know this by now. And it does suck for her kids. It does. But Ralph's.

[Ronnie]

Oh, it does.

[Ben]

Monster.

[Ronnie]

I just love that it. I just love that the lawyer pulled the classic housewives mo. Like the. The. You know, like, oh, well, I never told anyone your secret that you did. X, Y, and Z. You know, she's like, this is all sealed and confidential, and she's, like, blurting it all out on camera.

[Ben]

All your darkest, deepest secrets will never come out. Like this one, that one, this one, that one. Are you still rolling? Okay, do you need another take? Do you need it clearer?

[Ronnie]

And then Drew's like, thank you so much. Oh, God, keep me cr. I almost made it without crying. And Ty's like, you did. You almost did it, but you failed. Yeah.

[Ben]

She's like, ah, Drew, sorry. I'm just still method, you know, I finished a film in Puerto Rico, so. Get out. Your five minutes is over. Get the fuck out of my office.

[Ronnie]

So now Shamia and Shia go to the doctor. They, of course, you know, if you're getting your tonsils out, you get a ride in the Rolls. So they ride this giant ass roll. Shia is, like, so teeny tiny in the backseat of this giant car, and it's really cute. They, like, pull up to the hospital and Shia's waving at her doctor and they bring. She goes into surgery and then it.

[Ben]

Does like a little tick tock in there or something where she's like, guys, you know how a husband's stressed? He stands up in the waiting room. Look at my husband standing up, honey, show him standing up. Look at him over there. That's because he's stressed. Am I right ladies? Like, can we not. Can I not have to deal with your appendix out? Tick tocks. No, I did not agree to this.

[Ronnie]

As someone who had an appendectomy almost two years ago, it was tonsillitis. Please don't erase my surgery commercials.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Matt hello, I'm Dax Shepard. And I'm Monica Padman and we are in our seventh year of hosting actors.

[Ben]

Musicians, athletes, presidents, CEOs, scientists and professors.

[Ronnie]

Monica and I do three weekly shows with celebrities on Monday, experts on Wednesdays, and crazy stories from listeners on Fridays. It's got an ample dose of irreverence, humor and vulnerability. We regularly get sides of our guests that were previously unknown and it is a celebration of all the messiness that makes us human.

[Ben]

We like it here.

[Ronnie]

We love it here. We're chatterboxes and it's a good excuse to talk. Also, we're friends, barely hanging on by a thread. We're so excited to officially be a part of the Wondry Network, so follow.

[Ben]

Armchair Expert on the Wondry app or.

[Ronnie]

Wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe to armchair expert on YouTube.

[Ben]

Have you ever wondered how a circus performer could become the most powerful woman in the Byzantine Empire? Even the Royals is a podcast from Wondery that pulls back the curtain on royal families from ancient empires to modern monarchs to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty.

[Ronnie]

Before she ruled an empire, Theodora was a teen sensation in circus shows featuring.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Empress Theodora didn't just survive.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to even the royals.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Then we go over to Portia and Diane. They're going to get a massage, a place called Massage Heights. And they're.

[Ben]

Why would you put something stressful to people? Like, that's a comment. Fear. It's like massage spiders.

[Ronnie]

Maybe it's just what the cast of the Heights is up to these days.

[Ben]

Massage small, small spaces. You know.

[Ronnie]

Massage agoraphobia.

[Ben]

Would you. Why would you make the word massage in with, like, a common fear? It's so weird.

[Ronnie]

It sort of sounds like a neighborhood. Where'd you move to? Oh, it's this great place called Massage Heights. Massage Heights.

[Ben]

Sounds terrifying. Okay, so Portia. So they're just making small talk, but then they start talking about how hard it is for Portia to deal with everything that she is dealing with. With Simon, who seemed like such a good person, how could Simon not be a good person?

[Ronnie]

We also get our annual disclosure from Portia about her mom, which is my mom. She's my confidant, my support system, my prayer partner through this divorce. I'm like, we know she's been on the show for, like, 10 years now. You don't have to keep it. You don't have to keep pitching your mom to us. We get Diane's role in your life.

[Ben]

Yeah. So Portia is saying this is harder than her first divorce, which. That's another time she was locked out of the house. Remember, Cordell locked her out, too. So Portia, first of all, Portia needs to learn to just get a locksmith.

[Ronnie]

That's. That's a good thing to see. And then also my better taste in men. Better. Yeah, man. Would also be helpful.

[Ben]

That would be helpful. But, yeah, I guess the Cordell thing, she. That was easier because Cordell communicated with her, which I find odd. But this one, there's no community.

[Ronnie]

Cordell was like, icon queen. Yes, I'll get this divorce.

[Ben]

Yeah. He's like, we're getting a divorce everywhere else. But I'm still a huge fan. Can you Give me these autograph for me.

[Ronnie]

Can you sign these papers for me? She's like, there's no place for me to sign. I know, I just want your autograph. This has nothing to do with the divorce.

[Ben]

So she's like, you know, normally you'll have a conversation, but I even reached out to his pastor, which, I mean, listen, Simon is going down for fraud, lying, stealing, you know, a lot of stuff. But I'm sure he still goes to his pastor regularly. Like, if you really. I just went straight to the religion, you know, I'm sure it goes deep with. I'm sure it goes deep with Simon.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. She also tried to reach out to his family and she explains that, like, in America, you know, if you're going to break up essentially a marriage, you file for divorce. But in Benin, the culture is you actually go through the family, the family, like, works it out and intervenes. And she was hurt because she went to the family and the family was like, just, just deal with the American legal. We don't, we don't want to deal with this. So she was like, really upset about that.

[Ben]

You've been married five minutes. You're not going to turn five minutes of your life into ten years of mine. Bye.

[Ronnie]

They're like, you're not the first person this happened to. We. We're not getting involved this time. Yeah, here's random.

[Ben]

So now she's talking about Shamia and she's like, I can't believe Shamia, you know, because I was like, isn't this where she's tell. Oh, she, she told me that she met with Kelly and Bread and they were talking about me. And I'm like, this isn't know. I don't want to hear about all of these hating women. And Diane's like, well, why would she want to tell you everything that somebody's been saying? I mean, that shouldn't do, she shouldn't do that. That's hurtful. Poor shots. Very hurtful. So even Ms. Diane's gonna come on here and promote the storyline that Shamia did something bad.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And she even says, she even says something to the effect of like, well, you always have to question the dog that brings the bone. And I'm like, like, fast forward to the reunion. Shamia saying, you called me a dog. Your mother called me a dog. I know that what's gonna happen.

[Ben]

But also, just as far as that saying goes, the dog that brings a bone is a good dog.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's a good dog.

[Ben]

Like, it's a dream dog.

[Ronnie]

It's like doing, like, the most dog thing. It's like the dog. That dog has actually succeeded because there are a lot of dogs that just dig holes, and there's no bone in sight. Sometimes dogs just dig in a floor. They'll go to a carpet, and they'll just start pawing away. I'm like, you can't even dig there. You're just. You're a stupid dog. But like, a dog that actually finds a bone and brings it to you.

[Ben]

Like, Bueller doesn't bring about. If I throw a bone, he will go pick up the. Pick up the bone and then stare at me across the yard and be like, come get it. Come get it. And what if the dog takes the bone to another person? That's not loyalty. If a dog brings you the bone, that's a good dog. I'm just saying. So it's a bad.

[Ronnie]

It's a bad job description. It's like, it's excelling. It's, you know me. We just had a whole discussion about dogs. But if a dog does that brings the bone, it's like, well, you know, what more could you ask for, really? Like, buy you a car.

[Ben]

Yeah. So they're trying to make this a thing with Shim, which I don't like. I think it's unfair. So then we go to the.

[Ronnie]

All right, let's go to Bumo. So succession music.

[Ben]

The succession music. Or as Karen would say, secessions music.

[Ronnie]

So Kelly's like, I'm hosting my event at Bommin. This is my Mommy and Me event. I cannot wait to see all the ladies, all their children, because for some time, one of my dreams has been to raise some sort of awareness for osteogenis imperfecta. And I'm just super grateful that Bonbon would partner with me for Osteogenis Imperfecta foundation. And I was like, okay, I don't know what that means, but I'll just hold, and I'm sure I will be told. So Kelly, they all start to show up at Belmont, and she's very happy to do this Mommy and me thing. Part of me is wondering, when all the kids arrive, is Kelly just gonna ground them all? Because that's kind of what her tagline's saying. She's like, thank you for all coming to Balmain. You're all grounded. Goodbye.

[Ben]

So all the ladies start coming, and Portia's like, oh, my God. My makeup artist is Drew's makeup artist. And Kenny's like, yeah, you already told me that. She's like, yeah, well, she. So he Told her that she was. That he was coming to me, and she slowed down in the lane so that he just got to me. She did it on purpose. So it's basically Drew's fault that I'm late.

[Ronnie]

So then Cynthia arrives, and she has. She has a fun wig on. I don't know how you describe it. It's kind of like a mushroom. Mushroom thing. But it looks great. It's like a Joyce DeWitt. I call it a Joyce DeWitt, and I loved it on her. And other people are showing up, and Cynthia's talking to Portia, and she's like, girl, I know this has been hard. I just went through a regular divorce, and I can't imagine having to go through all the back and forth and dealing with that whole social media thing. Luckily, no one on social media cared about my divorce, so I never had to worry about it becoming a topic of conversation.

[Ben]

And she's like, this is someone who was around. Baby hot dog. This was someone I trusted, and he completely turned into a monster. Who would have thunk, suck. Yep. You know, don't keep it together, Portia, if you don't have to keep it together. Don't keep it together. Be weak. Be weak if you need to be weak.

[Ronnie]

There could be good days, there could be bad days. But you know what? You take the good, you take them bad, you take them both, and there you have the Joyce to wit.

[Ben]

The Joyce to wit. Wait a second.

[Ronnie]

Those are two different shows.

[Ben]

Even I know that. There's a time you gotta grow and show you know, you're growing. And now you know about Joyce DeWitt. I'm out your rest of it.

[Ronnie]

Well, since I'm a completionist, I might as well end on this note. Portia, if you ever any. Ever had any. If you ever have any issues, come and knock on my door Come and dance on my floor we'll be waiting for you where the kisses are hers and hers and his through his company too. Thank you.

[Ben]

So then Angela is talking. She's like, well, I need a scene, so I'm gonna fight with Shamia. You know, I'm gonna work this out.

[Ronnie]

Sorry. I just loved looking at your face while I was doing that whole thing. You're just staring at me.

[Ben]

I was reading notes. I was like.

[Ronnie]

To me, I was, like, sitting here, just cracked out. Cynthia talking through Three's Company. I just see your face, like, okay.

[Ben]

I was like, if I contribute to this. If I contribute to this. We're gonna start the Judging Amy theme. I know what's coming.

[Ronnie]

You Just had this look on your face. Like, just don't say anything. Let Ben get through it. I just pulled a muscle on my foot.

[Ben]

Let him play it out.

[Ronnie]

Just let it. Just let it. It's like a flame. Just let it just go. And then I didn't want to.

[Ben]

I didn't want to bring Family Ties. And I just saw a lot of things coming down the pike that I was like, how long do you need this recap to be? So, no, I was just reading notes. So then they're talking. So Angela basically announces to Cynthia. She's like, do you think I have time to speak, Sumia? And she's like, oh, I forgot about Shamia. I was trying to go over to get Portia together. Auntie Cynthia here. Where do you need me? Do you need me to support you with Shamia? So now shimmy. So Portia's like, have you taught Shimia? Have you talked to that Angela girl? She goes, oh, the one from the 90s. She came from a block party in a time capsule with a retro nose. Like, oh, no.

[Ronnie]

I was like, what? Portuguese came in from a time capsule. And Shamia, she, like, sucks in her nose and everything. And she's like, yeah, it's a little petty, I know, but I welcomed you into my home. You ate some of my cake, and then you caught. You're gonna come here with a nasty mouth. I've got nothing for you.

[Ben]

Yeah. I didn't know how I felt about the no shaming, but I did. Even though I've done it for like an hour in this episode already. But I did. I'm not shaping. I'm not no shape shaming. I'm no sound shaming. But I did love the. Wait, what did I love?

[Ronnie]

No shaming.

[Ben]

Oh, I love the actual nose impersonation that she did. I've never seen anybody do that. Like, she literally sucked her nose so hard that the sides of her nose just, like, went straight in and became a skinny nose. I don't think I've ever seen anybody do a nose impersonation before. So I'm going to have this one to Shamia.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it was. It was pretty low down, but it was funny too. So Brittany, the store director, is like, hello, everyone. I'm Brittany, president, Local Bamboo, and I just want to say it's been such an honor having all these children in our store getting their fingerprints and their. Their juice boxes all over our expensive couture. Thank you so much for bringing these little rugrats into Balmain.

[Ben]

Please buy things, because I'm Desperate for sales. Desperate enough to do charities that allow children in. So please, please buy a purse.

[Ronnie]

So Kelly explains what this charity is for, and she explains that basically, osteogen sinus imperfecta is brittle bone syndrome and. Or disease, which is really. She says three of her kids have it, which is really, like. That's. I saw. I saw a documentary somewhere along the way in the past few years where someone was. Had it, and they talked about, like, you know, just constant surgeries, constantly breaking their. Their lit. Like, their limbs, bones. It's like. It's a really scary and difficult disease. So I know.

[Ben]

I saw that documentary. It's. It starred Laurence Fishburne. No, not Samuel Jackson.

[Ronnie]

And Unbreakable.

[Ben]

Bruce. Yeah, Bruce. So she tells. And this is actually a crazy story because she. Her kid was getting broken bones so much that she was taken to the hospital, and they kept the kid there because they thought the kid was being abused by the mom. So this was really, really crazy. And she's like. And finally they found the disease and they understood what she had, and she's back with me, and she's completely safe now. She just has a kind of an irrational hatred of Bruce, but otherwise, she's doing great.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, man, that is. That. I got. My heart goes out to those kids. That's really.

[Ben]

That's crazy, isn't it? That is such, like, a random disease that the kids have. That's a. That's insane. Oh, my God.

[Ronnie]

I feel bad that they have to.

[Ben]

I didn't know that was even a real thing. I. I really did just think that was from that film.

[Ronnie]

No, it's a real thing. And, you know, I feel bad that they have to live with that, but at the same time, they. I'm sure they have. Have found ways to. To do it and everything. And it's not about pitying, but it's just like, man, that is hard. So. So then Drew arrives.

[Ben]

So that's why the kids have 17 purses. They have to have cushioning.

[Ronnie]

So. So. So Kelly does this whole speech that is. It's very moving, and it's like, you know, you're like, damn. Like, you have a moment where you do have, like, amidst all this, you say, wow. Like, these kids are. They have to deal with a lot, these kids, and they should not have to deal with it because they're kids, and they're dealing with a lot. It's a very. It's a. It's a halting moment, and it's beautiful and lovely. So, of course, Drew Sidor misses the Whole thing. So somehow Drew. Drew Sedora, who had first dibs on the makeup person, then somehow winds up showing up later after Portia. She shows up 66 minutes later and misses the whole important. The whole point of this entire Balmont event was this speech by Kelly.

[Ben]

Yeah. So she comes, and they're like, have you spoken to Portia? Are you gonna fight with Portia today? And Kenny's like, she's right there. You don't. You can't miss those hips. Come on. She's like, well, if I talk to you, then. Okay. I mean, I'm just fine. I'm just not going to force anything. Okay, so now we get the Angela versus Shamia. So she's like, hey, Shamia, I think we got off on a bad foot, you know? And she's like, yeah, yeah, we did. We sure did.

[Ronnie]

We got off on a bad foot. Angel's like, well, that's just not the temperature of the room that I like to operate in. And so if there's any time that we can talk. And then Shamir, like, Shamia's like, well, I would love to talk, and I would love to meet Angela, not Drew's representative.

[Ben]

And she goes, okay, well, that was Angela who you met. That was. And she goes, oh, really? So you speak on Drew's behalf? And she goes, I will if I want to. And she's like, okay, well, then we don't need to talk about it, because your feelings are what your feelings are. And she's like, okay, and so are yours. And she's like, yes. And so I'm cool on you. Thank you.

[Ronnie]

Thank you.

[Ben]

You are dismissed.

[Ronnie]

And just like, oh, you're cool on me. Be nice then, because you're a mean girl. Okay. You're a mean girl. Girl. And she goes, actually, you're the mean girl. And she goes, no, you're a mean girl. It goes with your name, Shamina. You're a mean girl.

[Ben]

And Shamia doesn't get it. She goes, actually, my name is Shamia. She goes, right. Which is why I said shamina. She's like, no, that's not my name. My name is. Do you need to see my driver's license?

[Ronnie]

Okay, What I'm trying to describe to you. So you have three syllables in your name. Sh. Me A. And if you add an N in the middle one, it becomes Shamina. So do you see why the. The name actually fits?

[Ben]

But that's my name, and I will not be called by any name other than my own. She's like, oh, my God. Not Only are you being an asshole. You're being an unfunny asshole. She's like, well, I will not speak to you. I'm Shamia.

[Ronnie]

So Shamia goes back to the nose thing, and she's like, well, if you don't take it on back with that 99 nose, then don't do that. And Angel's like, okay, Flavor Flav, you. Like, it didn't even make sense to me. I just thought, like. Like, at that moment when she said it, it didn't make sense. I just love that. She's like, okay, Flava Flav, you need a clock. And so then. So Angela explains. She's like, you know Flavor Flav.

[Ben]

I laughed so hard. Just the thing that's being brought up in this episode got Rick Ross. Now we've got Flava Flav and his big clock.

[Ronnie]

She called Shamia Flavor Flav. I was like, okay, I am officially on Angie. Angela sits high the rest of the season. She already has one of my idols from the 90s. So then Angela explains that flavor. Flavor. She's like, you know, flavors. One of the biggest hype, man. And I feel like Shamia is the loudest one in the room, and Portia is Chuck D. And, I mean, she just shows up and collects her check, and Shamia does all the hard work.

[Ben]

Oh, my gosh. So she's like, oh, really? Well, we're taking over for the 99 and the 2000 with that nose. And Kelly's like, ladies, ladies, we need to know how to act in our environment. What is happening here? This is Bottle Mall.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And sh's like, well, she needs some glue to get her nose back down. Angel's like, can someone. Can someone get your nose out of Porsche's ass? And Kelly's like, okay, everyone, we're just. Let's chop until we drop right here at Bama.

[Ben]

I like that it cuts to Portia, and por is like, I need lawyer money. I'm not buying nothing.

[Ronnie]

Smart.

[Ben]

So Brits. Brit's like, wait a minute. I heard no. So what the fuck is happening over here? And Shamiya's like, oh, she's trying to read me about asking Drew a simple question. What I said was, are you dating? Are you a thing? And Angela's like, oh, really? Well, if she goes there, I would go there.

[Ronnie]

And Portia's like, shamia, you did talk about someone's nose. Like, that's a physical feature. And she was like, well, she called me Flavor Flav, so we're even in Angel's life. And Then Angela's saying, you know, I'm so calm. You know, my husband would be proud of me because I'm so calm. And Shamia says. She explains that she was Flavor Flav for Halloween, which maybe that was the true origin of the reference. And she goes, well, I was Flavor Flav for Halloween, but I just didn't know that Angela was going to be Latoya Jackson today. Yeah. Then it got to Angela, and I was like, well, that wasn't too far off.

[Ben]

So Brit's like, I don't want to laugh, but she does kind of look like Latoya Jackson.

[Ronnie]

I just love that they're just going into these, like, pop culture references of the 80s and 90s. It's like, that's all I need.

[Ben]

And Kenya, who a few weeks from now is going to post naked pictures of Britney with dicks hitting her face or something. We haven't seen it yet. So that's just a rumor. Is like, but wait, how do you insult a girl's nose? That's not right. Morally. Where does that come from? And Portia's like, why are y'all stuck on the nose? I mean, she called her Flavor Flav. I mean, Tiff attackat, ladies.

[Ronnie]

Are you serious? You guys should have. You know, you guys should save that for the parking lot, not for inside. Balma, we don't do that over here in Phipps. You do that in Lenox, but not in Phipps.

[Ben]

So now the party is going on, and Shamia is telling Drew, thank you for hearing me out. And again, I apologize for the other day if I embarrassed you. That was not my intention. Andrew's like, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. You know, I wore my Ivana wig. It was a very important wig. And to be. To be dressed down wearing an Ivana wig is very difficult.

[Ronnie]

You know, I'm sorry, Shamia, if you can't hear me, I was screaming all weekend on set for a horror movie in Puerto Rico. So I have to speak a little quietly.

[Ben]

I would have a more emphatic response to this, but my voice is gone. After my method acting in Puerto Rico.

[Ronnie]

I was in Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico, running from a killer. It was very, very scary. So then Kelly says, announces to us that they raised about 30,000. Well, people spend about $30,000. They raise a lot of money for the charity and everything. And then Drew goes up to Portia, and she's like, portia, you said you wanted to talk. And Portia's like, yeah, no, I'm feeling good this week. So I'm not feeling good, so let's do it next week. And just like. But we can talk now. It's like, no, rather not. And everyone's like, oh, okay.

[Ben]

Yeah. She's doing the Craig, where she's like, we're gonna talk on my own time. I am a business person. So then we see the kids. Oh, sorry.

[Ronnie]

Well, Portia explains why, because then she says, you know, she was like. She was like. She was like, I want to talk to you. And I was like, oh, you want to talk now? Where's this audacity coming from? And then I look back, and the audacity is behind me with braids. I. Oh, her sister's here. She brought Heavy D out. I'm not gonna get into this with two people. It's like every. Just one 90s reference after another. Heavy D just. Oh, my God. Like, calling Allison heavy D. I don't even like. It doesn't even. Oh, man.

[Ben]

So she's like, I'm not even about to get into this with two people on me. So Drew's like, I mean, girl, you texted me that you wanted to talk, and now you don't want to talk. I mean, you can definitely come to the studio, and we can have a conversation, but in a song. I don't know. Will Dennis even be there? Probably. He's supposed to be executive producing this album. Oh, my bro. Who's only my producer and not my friend at all. And Porch is like, get me out of here. And Kelly just says, that's a wrap. I'm sorry. Can we just do that work? Waffle. And it's a waffle.

[Ronnie]

It's a. It's a waffle wrapped around a sandwich and Balma. And that was the end of the episode, so I was cracking up. So funny. Love it. Thanks, everyone, for being here. Hopefully, we'll see a bunch of you this weekend and stick around for all sorts of fun recaps this week, and we'll catch you in the next one. Bye, everyone.

[Ben]

Yeah. And rejoin us today on Patreon for some White Lotus coverage. Bye.

[Ronnie]

Bye. Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

[Ben]

Our way is the Amber way.

[Ronnie]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto.

[Ben]

Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney.

[Ronnie]

Put your hands together for Carly. Clap. Catherine D. Bernardo has our hearto.

[Ben]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. Dana C. Dana do. She's not just a shame Sheila she's a Daniella etcho we never miss her call It's Diane Call Aaron mcnicholas She.

[Ronnie]

Don'T miss no tricholas Jamie she has no less namey you'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go we all go for Hugo Hava Nagila Weber we could all learn from Jennifer.

[Ben]

Kearns she's our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica.

[Ronnie]

Trotch Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manock's door She's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock.

[Ben]

Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet With Lacey B.

[Ronnie]

Ringing the funk It's Leslie Plunkett she.

[Ben]

Gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kissarino to Lisalino fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Burg this is.

[Ronnie]

Living with Michelle Vivian I love a.

[Ben]

YA Olivia Williamson, tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson she sure is swell It's Raquel, yes, we canna It's Savannah Cast.

[Ronnie]

A spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Eldridge the Bay Area and.

[Ben]

Our super premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V Can't lose when you're with.

[Ronnie]

Amy Baldwin somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD she's got a leg up, up it's Beth Ani we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva let's get real.

[Ben]

With Caitlin O'Neal don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland it's our queen It's.

[Ronnie]

Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Know your words with Jason Kurt we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jennifer Jill Hirsch, she's a little bit loony Junie, my favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo, she gets.

[Ben]

An A It's Kelly B.

[Ronnie]

We love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron, she's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy, always killing it It's Lola Al.

[Ben]

Kalani the incredible edible Matthew sisters she eases our woes It's Melissa St. Rose.

[Ronnie]

Give him hell Ms. Noel she's the queen B It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, let's take off with Tamla Plane.

[Ben]

She ain't no shrinking violet. Cootar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.