#2781 Summer House S907 Live in Philly: Toe To Toe

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens - Episode #2781: Summer House S907 Live in Philly: Toe To Toe

Introduction

In Episode #2781 of "Watch What Crappens," hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the latest happenings of Bravo's reality show "Summer House." Filmed live in Philadelphia, the episode titled "Toe To Toe" captures the dynamic interactions and drama among the cast members. Ben and Ronnie bring their characteristic humor, blending praise with sharp ridicule, as they dissect the episode's key moments, character developments, and overarching narratives.

Live in Philadelphia: Setting the Scene

The episode kicks off with Ben and Ronnie greeting their live audience in Philadelphia during the beautiful cherry blossom season, setting an energetic and engaging tone for the discussion.

• Ben [02:59]: "We love you guys. Thank you so much for being here. It's so good to see all of you in Philadelphia. Cherry blossom season. What a gorgeous fucking time in this city. Wow."
• Ronnie [03:12]: "Yeah. You know, you guys, I mean, first of all, we always have the best time when we come here to Philadelphia, and you guys are always having the best time, especially now that you guys are Super Bowl champions."

Comparing "Summer House" and "White Lotus"

Ben and Ronnie draw parallels between "Summer House" and HBO's "White Lotus," highlighting similarities in their portrayal of affluent individuals and the ensuing drama.

• Ben [07:07]: "Summer House, we finally got it."
• Ronnie [07:34]: "Yeah, we caught it right here. But I was thinking that, like, Summer House is really not that different from the White Lotus, right?"
• Ben [07:48]: "When is Paige gonna kill Craig? That's all. That's all we want to know."

They discuss character archetypes, comparing characters like Rick and Chelsea from "White Lotus" to Kyle and Amanda in "Summer House," emphasizing the universal themes of wealth, relationships, and conflict.

Character Dynamics and Plot Developments

The hosts provide a detailed analysis of various character interactions and plot twists from the episode:

1. Carl's Sober Journey and Business Ventures

   • Carl remains sober and is planning to open a soda machine-based business, humorously dubbed "softball."
   • Ronnie [13:25]: "He's like, I did ask her on a date. We're gonna split a Sprite bottle with my parents on a Wednesday morning."

2. Craig and Paige's Turbulent Relationship

   • Craig expresses doubts about his relationship with Paige, leading to intense confrontations.
   • Ben [16:12]: "Craig, last night I had a dream that I murdered you in your sleep. And then I showed up to our wedding alone and I partied with everybody to celebrate your death."
   • Ronnie [20:28]: "This was the stupidest decision to ever date this man I ever had in my life."

3. West and Jesse's Friendship Struggles

   • The tension between West and Jesse intensifies as they navigate their feelings towards Sierra and relationship priorities.
   • Ben [25:45]: "How come this dinghy doesn't have a cup holder? Seems like kind of a missed opportunity."
   • Ronnie [32:17]: "No, you never wanted to see any of these people fuck, that's for sure. Sorry."

4. Sierra and Her Relationship Quagmire

   • Sierra grapples with her relationships, leading to manipulative tactics and heartbreak.
   • Ben [37:03]: "Angela, you don't want to date someone because they check the boxes."
   • Ronnie [55:40]: "I'm not blind. Have you seen Sierra? I mean, she's a Model."

Notable Quotes and Moments

Throughout the episode, Ben and Ronnie infuse their discussion with memorable quotes and humorous observations:

• Ben [04:03]: "They're all like, have you been reading the news? Me neither. What a way to live."
• Ronnie [09:32]: "I think a lemur's energy would solve this."
• Ben [16:12]: "Craig, last night I had a dream that I murdered you in your sleep."
• Ronnie [42:16]: "I think you'll owe me an apology."

These quotes highlight the hosts' candid and irreverent take on the show's drama, blending humor with critical insight.

Humorous Interludes and Satirical Commentary

Interspersed with their analysis, Ben and Ronnie engage in playful banter and satirical commentary, poking fun at both the show and their own experiences:

• Ben [23:17]: "Quint has all the must-haves, like Mongolian cashmere sweaters from $50."
• Ronnie [26:12]: "You know what I have in my purse at all times? Cards. But I don't know any tricks."

Their lighthearted approach keeps the discussion engaging, making the complex dynamics of "Summer House" accessible and entertaining for listeners.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Ben and Ronnie summarize their thoughts on the latest "Summer House" episode, emphasizing the ongoing drama and character developments that keep viewers hooked.

• Ben [85:03]: "So what did you think was the strangest thing Jesse was doing on the plane?"
• Ronnie [85:53]: "He can say, I never touched a girl."

They tease upcoming episodes of the podcast, promising to continue dissecting reality TV with their unique blend of humor and critical analysis.

Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with acknowledgments to their live audience in Philadelphia and a brief mention of their premium sponsors, maintaining the show's lively and interactive atmosphere.

Key Takeaways

• Dynamic Host Interaction: Ben and Ronnie's chemistry enhances the podcast's appeal, making complex reality show dynamics relatable and humorous.
• Critical Yet Humorous Analysis: Their ability to balance critique with humor provides listeners with both entertainment and insightful commentary.
• Engaging Structure: Clear sections and notable quotes ensure that the summary is comprehensive and accessible, even for those unfamiliar with the episode.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Ben [03:12]: "We love you guys. Thank you so much for being here. It's so good to see all of you in Philadelphia."
2. Ronnie [07:34]: "Summer House is really not that different from the White Lotus, right?"
3. Ben [16:12]: "Craig, last night I had a dream that I murdered you in your sleep."
4. Ronnie [20:28]: "This was the stupidest decision to ever date this man I ever had in my life."
5. Ben [37:03]: "Craig, you're not getting the hint."

Final Thoughts

Episode #2781 of "Watch What Crappens" offers a thorough and entertaining breakdown of "Summer House" S907, enhanced by Ben and Ronnie's sharp wit and candid insights. Whether you're a long-time fan of the show or a casual observer, this episode provides valuable perspectives on the intricate web of relationships and drama that define Bravo's reality television landscape.

Transcript

[Ben]

One of the reasons we love watching Bravo shows is for the luxury. I mean, come on. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, most of the time I can just watch it for the shots of the gorgeous city and the houses.

[Ronnie]

And let's not Forget Lisa Barlow's $60,000 ring that she lost.

[Ben]

Oh, heck yeah. If you're looking for a way to experience luxury for yourself, try Virgin Voyages.

[Ronnie]

Over $1,000 in value is included in every sailing. Everything they offer, from their menus created by Michelin star chefs to their cabins designed by top international firms, is the pinn of luxury.

[Ben]

Virgin Voyages cruises are kid free and catered to adult tastes. And they have some incredible destinations. We're talking Caribbean escapes, Iceland and the British Isles. Miami, New York. You can even live out your below deck med fantasy with their luxe voyage in the Med.

[Ronnie]

I am so excited to go on my first Virgin cruise. You know, the idea of a kid free ship is very appealing to me. And all these menus, it's like definitely a boat made for Ben.

[Ben]

It looks like a giant gorgeous club with fabulous rooms. I cannot wait to go book now@virgin voyages.com or contact your travel advisor. We're supported by Audible. Expand your life by listening. Explore over 1 million audiobooks and exclusive audio titles that will inspire and motivate you.

[Ronnie]

Tap into your wellbeing with advice and insight from leading professionals and experts on better health, relationships, career, finance, investing and more.

[Ben]

Listening on Audible can help you reach the goals you set for yourself. It's a great partner to help you become your best self. One of my personal favorites is an oldie. It's called As a Man Thinketh. It's a really good one I was given as a kid and just listening to it as I go for my walk really helps me out with the day.

[Ronnie]

Start listening today. Go to audible.com crappins and sign up for a free 30 day trial. That's audible.com crappens if you're looking for.

[Ben]

A way to streamline your streaming, Prime Video has got you covered.

[Ronnie]

On Prime Video, you can actually add over 100 subscriptions like Macs, Apple TV plus and Paramount plus all in one app.

[Ben]

It's so much easier to just turn on Amazon prime now and get all of my subscriptions right in one little hub. It's amazing. I'm watching Severance right now on Apple and I'm also watching White Lotus on Max and boom. I can watch them in the same app right now. It makes it so much easier to not forget what I'm watching and what App I need to open check out.

[Ronnie]

Subscriptions on Prime Video. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

[Ben]

Hello, you gorgeous people.

[Ronnie]

Hello, Philadelphia.

[Ben]

We love you guys. Thank you so much for being here. It's so good to see all of you in Philadelphia. Cherry blossom season. What a gorgeous fucking time in this city. Wow.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. You know, you guys, I mean, first of all, we always have the best time when we come here to Philadelphia, and you guys are always having the best time, especially now that you guys are super bowl champions.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

But la. Yeah. Okay, Ronnie, that's. That's a football team.

[Ben]

Ronnie, I feel like you're all about to kill me.

[Ronnie]

He's like, why are they doing a chant for Olivia Aiden, I'm an eagle. But we. So last night, we were in DC and you guys checking on your friends in dc, they're kind of going through it right now.

[Ben]

Poor things.

[Ronnie]

Poor things.

[Ben]

They're all like, have you been reading the news? Me neither. What a way to live. Actually, we were back there, and I said, actually, I should read the news and see if it was horrifying. Okay?

[Ronnie]

Horrifying.

[Ben]

You know how much eggs are. So I opened the news, and the first thing was a gigantic picture of Putin.

[Ronnie]

Like, ha, ha.

[Ben]

That guy is so happy. I'll say, whatever's going on over there, I don't read much. Potatoes make you happy. It's proof that man is happy. I don't know what the he's doing, but he's smiling like a loon. And his skin looks so good. I didn't know they had, like, good Botox or whatever in Russia, but, yeah, no, it's.

[Ronnie]

It's actually not Botox. It's just the blood of dissenters that they just kill and just. You know what?

[Ben]

I love tlc, people. Why am I not.

[Ronnie]

You know what is hilarious about this? So backstage, we're sitting there, we're like, well, what should we talk about at the top of the show? We're like, I don't know. Did anything happen this weekend? I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna talk about now. We're up here, and Ronnie's like, putin, I'm sorry.

[Ben]

His skin looks really good. That's all I had to say. That's my news update for you. Well, we traveled today, so we came in on the train, which is so nice. Let me say every town from there to here. What did you say? That show. What was that show with that girl from the Titanic where it was. That murder show was It.

[Ronnie]

Mayor of Easttown.

[Ben]

Yeah. Mayor of East Town. There were so many towns that looked like mayor of Easttown. Ben was like, God, this looks like an H. Because I was like, aren't these towns cute? Cause we passed like these little houses and then this little church. And right when I said that, he turned around and it was like a burnt down building.

[Ronnie]

It was like, like crumbling warehouses and broken glass. And I was like. I was like, murder Dirder. But yeah, why is it that when you said, what was that HBO show with the. With. With a girl from Titanic? Why was that? My first instinct was, I think of the old lady who throws the jewel off the edge. I was like, what show was she in? Speaking of hbo, we have to say this is a Sunday night and we want to thank you for coming here because we know the White Lotus is on tonight.

[Ben]

Are you guys watching? White people watching, but you're here instead. So thank you.

[Ronnie]

Are you guys watching the White Lotus? So I know it's. It's great. And Popper. No, I was thinking about it, because tonight we're upper mayor of East Town.

[Ben]

There has been a murder. I'm gonna find out who did it.

[Ronnie]

I'm gonna get a sandwich at Wawa. That's right. I pandered to White Lotus fans and Philadelphians.

[Ben]

Parker, Posey and Maravis.

[Ronnie]

I was so. I was thinking about it before, I was like, you know, because we're talking about Summer House tonight, which, by the way, such a good episode.

[Ben]

Oh, thank God. We got a classic. We got an instant classic for here. Toe sucking. The turning of a man just into shit. Which we all knew was coming.

[Ronnie]

You know, turning of a man into shit.

[Ben]

We just know it's coming on. Summer House, we finally got it.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, we caught it right here. But I was thinking that, like, Summer House is really not that different from the White Lotus, right?

[Ben]

Like Linda, a bunch of spoiled ass rich people who you want to see die at some point.

[Ronnie]

Right?

[Ben]

When is Paige gonna kill Craig? That's all. That's all we want to know. You know, how does it happen? When does it happen? You know, it's going to win.

[Ronnie]

Like Walton Goggins. Like, Rick and Chelsea are kind of like Kyle and Amanda.

[Ben]

Oh, Walton Goggins.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Well, yeah, like sad Kyle, I guess Kyle when he's like, but I care about Seltzer.

[Ronnie]

I want to kill the man who stole my spritzer.

[Ben]

We were on the train earlier thinking about how old we're getting because, well, we are. And we are walking around. I watched that show Adolescence On Netflix. Did you watch that? Everybody's like, oh my God. Adolescent's the best thing in the world. It's just Little Kid Killer. Oh, every kid I saw today, I was like, get away from me, you little fucker. I'm not. I don't trust any of them now. Last week, I loved him. I saw a baby today in a stroller. I was like, listen to me, you little fucker. Look the other way. Yeah, I'm still bigger than you.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I listen. If you just have never trusted children in the first place, you're sad.

[Ben]

Then you just watched adolescence. It was like, told ya.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. I was like, I don't need to watch a four part show to know what I already know. They're all killers and demons. Okay.

[Ben]

But we were kind of stumbling onto the train thinking like, oh, we're not young anymore, you know, we got to sleep till 10 and we're still like, literally, the train's not even moving. And we're like, oh, God. You know? But we kind of came to a cross because I was like, let's start at the end of the train. That way we don't have to wait in this line for all these people. But of course, the seats were numbered backwards because that's how you do it on the east coast to trick all the southerners. So we went the other way. But then we went to a head to head with this old couple.

[Ronnie]

Oh, no, they were. Oh, no, they were in the wrong car or something. So it was. I'm sure you guys all have been there. When the piece of paper comes out, it's like, I'm pretty sure it was seat 12C. Are you seat 12C?

[Ben]

It is C12. I have it right here. Look. If the paper says C12. And he showed me, he's like, does this say C12? I said, it says C12. Why is that lady sitting in C12? Why? He's like, I'm in C12, sir. That is it. I already have my ticket. He's like, well, I have a ticket too. He has a ticket. Have you seen his ticket?

[Ronnie]

And then the wife goes, they double booked us. Popper. No.

[Ben]

And then I fell in love. I think it might be time for me to get a boyfriend. Because we were getting something from the blue bottle at the train station, which, by the way, I mean, the coffee's fine, but everything's in paper and they still have paper straws. I'm going back to stuff Starbucks. There, I said it. But we got a coffee there and there was a guy there who was so cute. He was just, like, so little and pale and hairless. He looks so weak.

[Ronnie]

It was Wallace, Sean.

[Ben]

He looks so weak. I was like, I can put. Who was it?

[Ronnie]

I said, it was Wallace, Sean.

[Ben]

He's. That's a sports thing, huh? Who's that? Who's Wallace Sean?

[Ronnie]

He's one of the loft Kelsey Brothers.

[Ben]

That's a sports thing.

[Ronnie]

Wallace on. Wallace on. You know, like, what do you say from Princess Bride? Inconceivable. Oh, all right. Anyway, go on.

[Ben]

So I fell in love with this little weak person, you know? And then I always think everything's gonna be like a romance movie. So we got on the train, and he was right in front of us. And I was like, oh, well, on the other side. So I could, like, look at him the whole time. I was like, oh, my God, score. I have someone to stalk. So I'm looking at this guy and I'm like, it's like a fate, right? I saw him at the Blue Bottle. I saw him. Now, we saw that little adolescent thing together and both looked at it like, fuck, no. You know, I was like, I'm marrying this weak person. So then halfway through the train, this lady comes over and she's like, honey, there's room where I'm sitting now. And I was like, that bitch. And then for the rest of the time, I even walked to the bathroom just so I could see them sitting happily. And then the train was wobbling, and I kind of fell on him, and I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. And then I. I just don't like this. To the girl, I was like.

[Ronnie]

Bitch.

[Ben]

Might be time to get married, you guys. It's getting sad out there.

[Ronnie]

It's fun times on the old Acela train, people. Now I know what it's like to be Danielle on Summerhouse. Guys, I made it. I'm here from the train. Did you have too much fun without me? Don't start.

[Ben]

Club sending it. As I walked all the way to the bathroom, I thought, God, if only I had skin like Putin's, I would have totally won that one. All right. Welcome to an evening of summer housing.

[Ronnie]

Hey. And can we give a shout out to some of our Patreon Premium sponsors that are in the audience? We got Hava Nagila, Webster, Webber. Sorry. Anyone else here? Any other Premium sponsors? Oh, my God.

[Ben]

Alison King. Ain't nothing like Allison King.

[Ronnie]

And that's it. We killed the rest.

[Ben]

I thought you were gonna drop a scroll. All right. Previously on Summer House. Sierra got mad. Oh, sorry. Go Ahead. Go ahead, Paige.

[Ronnie]

Thanks. Thanks. Other me. Sierra was mad after west ghosted her and then did a New York Times article saying he wasn't into her.

[Ben]

You're an idiot, your hair is stupid, and I hope you die in a fire.

[Ronnie]

Oh, don't bully me. I'm just a boy.

[Ben]

Also, there's a new really skeevy guy in the house named Emeril. I haven't used so much hand sanitizer since the pandemic orgies.

[Ronnie]

Am I right?

[Ben]

Gross. Carl's still sober and planning to open a soda machine.

[Ronnie]

It's called softball.

[Ben]

Okay? He's gonna open a coffee shop with a soda machine.

[Ronnie]

It's called softball.

[Ben]

Okay? He's gonna rent a van to serve soda out of from a soda machine for men with erectile dysfunction.

[Ronnie]

Thanks. I'm Carl 9.0. I'm soft. I believe in tenderness, hugs, and brick and mortar. Also, I found a new love interest, and her name is Lil.

[Ben]

You give huge lemur energy.

[Ronnie]

Ha. Is that good? Are lemur soft? Ha.

[Ben]

I hope not, because I want to fuck a lemur.

[Ronnie]

Oh. Softly, softly. Aha. Please.

[Ben]

There's also a new girl named Lexi. She's really into lip liner and guys with huge mouths.

[Ronnie]

I love your juicy booty.

[Ben]

I'm like, so insecure about it. It's so hard being a model.

[Ronnie]

Gimme your booty.

[Ben]

Not until you're committed to me, my mom, and my crazy faced sister.

[Ronnie]

I haven't had sex with a stranger in more than a week, so we're basically married. Oh, yeah, and there's been a miracle in the summer house. Jessica Tandy is pregnant. And that by her ex fiance, soft Carl.

[Ben]

Guys, I have an announcement to make. I'm having a baby. And I'm putting a big poster of the sonogram in Carl's room.

[Ronnie]

Oh, I'm gonna stand in the kitchen and try not to feel things. I'm soft. I'm soft.

[Ben]

Oh, and me. I'm trying to find a way to subtly break up with my boyfriend so the Internet doesn't tear me limb from limb when it's announced.

[Ronnie]

Chicken. I can't wait till we're married and you can stop this career nonsense and make tiny versions of me to inherit my pillow empire.

[Ben]

Craig, last night I had a dream that I murdered you in your sleep. And then I showed up to our wedding alone and I partied with everybody to celebrate your death.

[Ronnie]

You dreamt that we had a wedding? When's it gonna be?

[Ben]

He's not getting the hint.

[Ronnie]

And sin.

[Ben]

So we open. Where we left off last time.

[Ronnie]

In honor of Carl, I will have a soft drink. Is that Diet Coke? Soft?

[Ben]

So we started. We left last week with a pirate party that Carl's throwing in honor of. I don't know. I don't really know. But he was wearing a lot of guyliner and Jesus sandals. We caught a close up of his sandals today.

[Ronnie]

And I was like, wow, do pirates wear gladiator sandals? It's like, shiver me timbers. But also, are you not entertained?

[Ben]

So they're partying and Amanda's trying to have fun because she's married to an alcoholic, you know, and you gotta try and come along with the ride. So every once in a while she does. And Carl's just walking around like, hey, man, you look hot. And she's like saying things. She's dressed like a parrot. And he's like, hey, Amanda, I always wanted to. A parrot.

[Ronnie]

Actually, technically, he said, I always wanted to date a pirate. And she goes, I'm a parrot, though.

[Ben]

Oh, well, then you must know where there's a pirate.

[Ronnie]

Polly wants some guacamole.

[Ben]

So then we go to Craig and Paige, who's found a floaty to lay down on. Of course, she's like, it's like a bed.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, they're in a raft in Carl's fake pirate pool because he put down a tarp to represent the ocean, but it's nothing like the ocean. So they're just sitting on inflatables on a tarp.

[Ben]

Carl will still find a way to drown in that man is weak.

[Ronnie]

He still is underperforming, even with his tarp work. So Kyle's like. And that's just incidental. That has nothing to do with what's going on. So Paige is he. Paige and Craig have just had a conversation where Craig is like. Craig is like, do you love me? And she's like, well, I'm gonna give you an annual review and then we'll see if you're fired or not. And he's like. He's like, ha. So she's like, it wasn't a joke.

[Ben]

Craig is wearing his pirate hat and his guy liner, and his shirt's open. Did you notice that he has a big tattoo here of Paige, except it's like a satanic pirate Paige. She has murder in her eyes. Like, blood dripping down her face. I was like, wow, how did you get your future on your chest? Because this is gonna actually happen in six weeks. This is the version you're about to get. So Kyle comes over. Cause he wants to talk about the Squirt companies with Carl. The Spritz. Sorry, the Spritz company. Sorry. That's Emeril's company, the Squirt. He's like, hey, you want to talk about spritzers? And Craig's like, I don't know if I'm ready right now. He's like, this looks romantic, you know? Can I change spots with you, Craig? And she's like, oh, my God, Please. Please change spots with me. All right, Just. I'm getting seasick. The letter C. I'm Craig sick. Please, just sit. Sit right here. Sit right here.

[Ronnie]

You know, Craig is saying that he doesn't feel valued, and he's, like, worried about how the tour is going to affect our relationship. I'm not going away to war. It's three months, and I'm going to be just traveling a lot. And I've also said he could come to any stop he wants to. And are you going to. You're just going to stress me out because you don't feel checked in on enough? This was the stupidest decision to ever date this man I ever had in my life.

[Ben]

Who gets jealous of tour? It's three months of smelling Hannah's farts on a bus. Craig's like, I want to talk to you, but I'm not gonna get a drink, okay? I'm not leaving. Just wait here right on this raft. Kyle. Kyle's like, all right, bro. All right. And Craig just never comes back.

[Ronnie]

I know it was sort of like an obnoxious power move, but I was actually thankful for it because just watching Kyle sitting in that dinghy, he looked like. Did he know that he could get out of the dinghy? He was like, I gotta wait for mom to come back before she unlocks the door so I can get out of the dinghy. He's just sitting there, just sad and alone, wanting to DJ something.

[Ben]

So this is west and Jesse's second season on the show, and they're in that. They're still in that state of, like, amazement that they're, like, kind of, like mediocre guys that are now getting all the boobies that they want to because they're on tv, so they don't know. They're. It's like they're being. It's like me standing in the middle of, like, 10 waiters holding hors d'oeuvres. So I'm just like, they're falling down. I don't even care. I'll just pick it up off the ground. That's how they are. They're Both doing this. And so Jesse's like, hey, hey, hey. You guys married? You good? You married? Huh? And she's like, yeah, I have a husband. He goes, oh, yeah, yeah. Congrats, Congrats. Yeah, I'm actually seeing someone or just asking for you guys.

[Ronnie]

Right?

[Ben]

She's not here this weekend, though. And she goes, yeah, but doesn't all this partying get old? He's like, huh?

[Ronnie]

What do you mean?

[Ben]

It's like, yeah, you know, like, don't you ever just want to, like, go hang out with your girlfriend? He's like.

[Ronnie]

This summer, I thought I'd be, like, dating girls and having fun, but I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my relationship with Lexi. Unless it involves that, you know, me having sex with someone else. I could do that. So I'm just, like, trying not to. I'm, you know, flirt with him. And that's really it. Again, except for sex and, you know, just gonna make conversation and sex and, you know, just gonna talk to people. You know, if those people happen to have a vagina, I have sex with them. You know, that's just what happens. Hey.

[Ben]

How come this dinghy doesn't have a cup holder? Seems like kind of a missed opportunity. Hey, dinghy, you don't support lover boy. I deserve an apology.

[Ronnie]

Kyle's trying to connect his Bluetooth to the dinghy. How does this thing have Apple Play?

[Ben]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. Elevating my style used to mean breaking the bank, but with quints, I get high end, versatile pieces at prices I can actually afford. Now I can upgrade my style by snagging killer luxury essentials that sync with my vibe and my wallet.

[Ronnie]

Quint has all the must haves, like Mongolian cashmere sweaters from $50, iconic 100% leather jackets and comfortable pants for every occasion.

[Ben]

And the best part, all Quint's Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands.

[Ronnie]

By partnering directly with top factories, Quint's cuts out the cost of the middle man and passes the savings on to us.

[Ben]

And Quint only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices along with premium fabrics and finishes. I love it.

[Ronnie]

I have my eye on this beautiful Italian wool overshirt that's on their site right now. It is goo goo gorgeous, especially the caramel color. And honestly, I might treat myself to it later this week.

[Ben]

Indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.comkrappens for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E.com crappins to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.comcrabbins we've both been on a decorating.

[Ronnie]

Journey lately, so we're just like really happy to have found our sponsor, Revival Rugs.

[Ben]

Revival's founders didn't want to spend thousands on a new rug, but they didn't want to settle for mass produced cheap alternatives either.

[Ronnie]

Revival is a global company with teams in the US as well as weaving regions in India, Turkey and Morocco. They blend traditional techniques with contemporary designs. And let me tell you something. I got a revival rug and I actually decided to put it in the bedroom and it's under the bed right now and I absolutely love it. It had been hardwood floors all this time. And to actually put my feet out of the bed in the morning and have them touch that beautiful, beautiful rug, it feels so luxurious and so lovely. I am beyond thrilled with it.

[Ben]

And the ordering experience, the shipping experience, I mean, everything was just so easy and fast. If you're in the market for a new rug, check out revival rugs.

[Ronnie]

Visit RevivalRugs.com WWC and use code crappins20 for 20% off your first order. That's RevivalRugs.com WWC code crappins20. One more time RevivalRugs.com WWC with code C, R A, P P E N S20 to save 20% off your order. So then we cut to Carl and Lil and Lil is like, oh my God, I'm like a mermaid. Like, Carl, you could have hired me to be a mermaid. And you're not. Water tarp. Oh my God. Anyway, magicians are dope. I was like, what transition?

[Ben]

She's like, yeah, first of all, magicians are dope.

[Ronnie]

What transition was that? What was that like? Oh my God, I'm like a mermaid. Anyway, magicians the best. Am I right?

[Ben]

And when I have free time, I would love to A, go to magic school or B, learn magic.

[Ronnie]

I think A and B are the same thing. I hate to break it to you. I want to either go to school or I want to learn something out of school.

[Ben]

You know what I have in my purse at all times? Cards. But I don't know any tricks.

[Ronnie]

Oh, you're ready for some magic.

[Ben]

What the is wrong with this girl? She's, she has like magicking and mermaiding, but I'm just carrying cards just in case.

[Ronnie]

She just has magic cards on spec. She's like, well, I'm pretty Sure. I'll learn magic someday. So let's just get these in here, because when the time comes, I'll be ready in case I run into a sorcerer in the Hamptons.

[Ben]

So Gabby's watching this, and she's like, oh, my God, that girl has cards. Do you know that Carl met her parents at a soccer game? That's how. That's how they know each other. And Emeril's like, oh, yeah, I fucked her parents. Both. I'm. I'm into, like, poly parentism, you know? It's hot. It's really fucking hot.

[Ronnie]

Hey, little. I don't know if I told you this, because I feel like there's one person's party. I might not have told this yet, but I'm launching a new business.

[Ben]

Are you thinking of a jack?

[Ronnie]

I haven't jacked since last summer fair. It's called soft bar, which informs the whole jack thing. And it's a bar and a cafe. And get this, it doesn't serve alcohol.

[Ben]

Oh, my God. Like, the way you're boldly making an effort not to earn profit, y'all. Well, I was hoping, like, an actual magician.

[Ronnie]

Can you have, like, open mic night? As if this concept couldn't get any worse as Lil on the mic hosting amateur hour. Like, it's Showtime at the Apollo.

[Ben]

Oh, my God. Guess what? I go hard for soft bar.

[Ronnie]

You can use that. Okay. Yeah. Ho's. That was really. That was really good. I actually am a little shocked I didn't think of that myself. So I'm doing a friends and family event. It's basically just be my mom and my stepdad hanging out, drinking entire Coke. Or you want to come by, you can buy your parents.

[Ben]

Since, like, after my last relationship, the most important thing to me is to have someone that believes in me.

[Ronnie]

Cut, cut. To Lindsay being like, do I think.

[Ben]

That you're, like, rushing life right now, girl?

[Ronnie]

No.

[Ben]

And I'm also pretty disturbed by this bleach blonde wear.

[Ronnie]

The situation you got going on in this flashback.

[Ben]

You don't think I'm crushing life? You're jobless. What are you talking about? You're jobless, and you spent, like, 100 grand of her money to buy podcast equipment. Hi, this is podcast equipment. Okay, this is it. A $10 table from a Target and two $40 mics from God knows where this thing has been.

[Ronnie]

I'm not jobless. I have a soda in my bag. I don't know how to use it, but I'm hoping that someday I'll understand Soft drinks and Then I'll be able to use it kind of like magic.

[Ben]

Let me tell you this as a magician and a mermaid, I just want you to flourish, lemur. Flourish. Flourish, lemur, flourish. I don't know what's going to happen with these two, but hire that fucking crazy person. Hire her right now. This is the best casting we've ever seen. Her parents even showed up later in the episode. They're like, hi, honey, did you try any magic tricks?

[Ronnie]

If you have Lil at that soft bar, no one is going to believe that this is a place that's substance free. People would be like, okay, where's the speakeasy? So Carl goes. So she's like, yeah, I just want to watch you fucking floor. She goes, cool, I'm gonna get you an invitation. I was like, carl, you can't even commit to giving her an invitation. She's like, I'm gonna get you one. I'm gonna see if someone can get you an invitation.

[Ben]

I can't wait to get you an invitation to the van. I'm gonna park in Williamsburg by a park. All right, so wait for that. Meanwhile, Kyle's just like, hey, did I fuck a parrot or is that in my head?

[Ronnie]

Craig has got into the house. He has peed, and now he is examining every snack item available. He's actually trying to fix that front door. So he's gonna be like, occupied for another hour.

[Ben]

Don't they show Craig in a bedroom just eating chips, looking in the mirror.

[Ronnie]

Staring in the mirror at himself like, I think this will be really good for the sewing down south social.

[Ben]

I'm a leader of industry now. He can wait on my time.

[Ronnie]

I'm not only a chip eater, I'm a storyteller.

[Ben]

So Wesley, Sierra. So west is with Sierra and Jesse, and he's just, you know, binging kind of on everything. And Sierra's like, I'm hot. And he's like, I'm just like, so scared of Sierra, you know, I'm. Jesse's like, come on, man. Give her a huge do it, bro. You guys can do it. Make up. When I notice that he does that, he does this like head jerk thing to like make you agree with him. It's kind of like Bronwyn from Salt Lake City who's always talking like this. She's like, so you're a low life piece of shit. You agree? Yes. It's kind of like that where it's like, bro.

[Ronnie]

West is like, you know, I get what Jesse's trying to do. And like, last summer was like, fucking Great, because it was like a great trio. We were like Scottie Pippen and Jordan and Rodman. No, you were like the siblings on the White Lotus. Okay. You know what I'm saying?

[Ben]

No, I never wanted to see any of these people fuck, that's for sure. Sorry.

[Ronnie]

By the way, he has to be careful because you're on Bravo and when you say we're like Pippin and Jordan, that means Larsa and Marcus to us. It's a very different analogy. What an honor.

[Ben]

Like it's just like, oh sorry Larsa. Like who's that?

[Ronnie]

It's an honor like to be invited to summer house.

[Ben]

Like, yeah, like it's really kind of good to be here. Like you know what, I like carry around cards in my purse but I like don't even like know why like.

[Ronnie]

Marcus would fit in. Well, I mean I've seen the headlines.

[Ben]

So west is like, I'm just so hard being so awkward around someone. He's so mean to me just because I wasn't into her. He's walking around with guideliner smeared down his face, his belly hanging out. He's got like ho ho crumbs smeared on his teeth, see? And he's wearing rainbow colored parrot wings on his back, which I don't think is gonna help you at a straight party. No, there are no gay people on this cast, sir.

[Ronnie]

He's going off banging people on futons and coming back on camera to be like, oh my life sucks now.

[Ben]

So Sierra, I don't think he's getting laid though. Cause look at this part. Every time he comes back to the house he's like, yeah, got some maybe on a futon, right? Maybe. But then look at this house. Everyone was like, hi. Oh hi. No one's, no one's putting, no one's letting that inside of them. I'm just, I'm calling it now.

[Ronnie]

So Sierra and Jesse are talking and he makes her take off her giant pelican beak. And he's like, he's like, wow, that costume, you really commit hard, huh? And she goes, you think I commit hard? Yeah, like with my boy. She's like.

[Ben]

But she's like, haha, Jesse Solomon. Because they're kind of flirting. So then west meets some new girl and she's like like your outfit. And he goes, yeah, I mean it's okay. She's like, walks away. So then Jesse's like, yeah, you're still like giving like nega energy towards Wes and he's just trying to figure out what he's supposed to do. You know, he just, like, wants to fully move on. And she's like, well, you might suggest, I don't know, cyanide, razors, maybe putting his lips around a tailpipe and just letting me press the gas.

[Ronnie]

With it. Being in park, of course.

[Ben]

So that would be awkward, right?

[Ronnie]

He's like. She's like, damn it.

[Ben]

I was ready to go.

[Ronnie]

She, like, sets up a murder scheme and then drives away from it.

[Ben]

Now that's the summer house cast in White Lotus. They just bungle every murder.

[Ronnie]

So basically. Basically, she's like, yeah, he used me for an entire summer and fuck him. And I say, I agree. So, yeah, thank you.

[Ben]

So Kyle's just still on that dinghy.

[Ronnie]

At this point. He's found a volleyball and drawn a face on it. Elson.

[Ben]

So then Wes sees Sierra and Jess talking, and he's like, man, a lot of conversations going on on that island. So Sierra's like, yeah, well, you know how, like, you. When you don't like somebody, you know, like, how there's, like, when a homely person there and you don't like them, but they're like, but I like you. And you're like, no one else is here, so you give them a chance. Yeah, that's what happened. He's like, hey, so what's the problem? Why don't you just give me a chance? If it was that easy, I'm sitting here, too.

[Ronnie]

She's like, well, Jesse called. I mean, well, she's like, well, why didn't you try? And he's like, well, because my boy called dibs. And she's, yeah, yeah, no, that's gross. So she's like, jesse Solomon, don't let whoever stop you from finding your wife, okay? And he's like, don't jeer that.

[Ben]

We.

[Ronnie]

Are not empowering Jesse Solomon today. He's like, yeah, are you saying don't let Lexi stop me from having you?

[Ben]

And he's, like, kissing her hand. And she's like, yeah. This is, like, the first time I'm hearing him say that he's interested in me. Like, honestly, last year, it was fair game. I mean, everyone here is mediocre. I could have picked any one of them.

[Ronnie]

It is so fun every season watching super, supermodel Sierra come onto the show and slowly lower her standards every week until by the end of the summer, she's boning someone like Austin. She's like, well, it's sad.

[Ben]

It's like Southern charm over and over again every season. They're like, here's the new fresh crop of 25 year olds abuse them, boys.

[Ronnie]

She's like, my horniness has outweighed my standards. Okay, bring them in.

[Ben]

It's like that line. And is it Dazed and confused or Matthew McConaughey is like, yeah, I just keep coming back to high school because I keep getting older, but they all stay the same age. So Carl's like, hey, rubbing up yucky two in the tub. Spider went down the drain, and out came a chubby, chubby, chum, chummy chum, chubb. And meanwhile, Craig's like, hi, captain of industry. If you guys want, here's some pillow discounts if you're ever sewing down south.

[Ronnie]

So he finally get. Craig finally gets back into the dinghy, which is such a funny thing to say. And he gets in and he just goes, I was gonna find you. And he's like, okay.

[Ben]

So Jesse's watching this, and he's like, yeah, look at that over there. Craig just big dicking Kyle. Like, that's hilarious. He's not gonna accept an apology either. I mean, that guy really wants him to change his whole mindset. And we see a flashback of Craig shirtless, talking to Weston. Jesse, he's like, yeah, listen, he shouldn't be like that. I'm like a leader in my field, all right? And him acting like that, like, you know what I did. You want to make a move like that? Then I'll pull lover boy out of every single one of my stores. And I called every single lover boy. It was two. He has two stores. I called two stores. Two stores that are not alcohol serving stores. And I said, you get that out of my store.

[Ronnie]

Wow. Wow. That's going to put a huge dent in sales. Now that lover boy has been removed from two pillow shops.

[Ben]

Wow. Oh, my God.

[Ronnie]

We all know when you want to get drunk. Where do you go? The pillow shop. Talk about soft. Kind of stole my brick and mortar.

[Ben]

So we go to Kyle and Craig, and Kyle's like, by the way, whoa. Hey, can we stop the ride from rock? Do you feel like we're rocking? It's like a real dingy.

[Ronnie]

No, Greg is confused. Kyle's like, I didn't take my Dr. Me get it.

[Ben]

And then Kyle does this weird thing where he's like, yeah, all right, let's talk about lover boy. Welcome to the boardroom.

[Ronnie]

He goes into business mode because this is. This is like. This is what, like tech bros do. They party, party, party. Like, all right. Synergy. Okay. Forecast. Okay, well, listen, bro, I would have loved to talk to you about it last night, but now, we're gonna talk about it now while we're dressed as pirates. But that's okay. My goal is just to put this to bed, but in a dinghy. Okay, you know what? Like, I want to go back to world. We're going on double dates and going to a world where you and I are, like, you know, when we're in a dinghy, we're, like, having fun, bro. You know what I'm saying, man?

[Ben]

Yeah, but you're, like, the only one who, like, made this a thing. And Craig's leaning back like he owns.

[Ronnie]

The world, as if he didn't just get told off in that same seat by paige to Sorbo 10 minutes ago.

[Ben]

But he's got a pirate hat on. And Paige just looking at Kyle, like.

[Ronnie]

So Kyle's like, look, I've known you for, like, six years, bro. And, like, I know of. You know, if I know my friend spent his spend his blood, sweat, and tears building something. The last thing I'm doing is getting into bed with a direct competition. I'm drunk competitor.

[Ben]

But you're taking money out of people's pockets, bro.

[Ronnie]

Craig, the regular Jean Valjean of the show.

[Ben]

Two, four, six.

[Ronnie]

I stole a loaf of bread so I could feed it to my pillows.

[Ben]

What do you mean? Listen, like, no matter how I went about it, like, it isn't my deal. You know, my deal doesn't affect lover boy. You know? Like, I just don't know how you wanted me to go about it, Okay? I was approached with a deal. Deal. I told you I was approached with the deal. I took the deal. Then you texted me and you said, please, please save my children, save my wife. I depend on you for all of my business advice. Please don't take this away.

[Ronnie]

No, bro, I just. I want you to be on the lover boy team. But now I'm on my own, selling spritzers without you.

[Ben]

Yeah, but I said it's just business. And you said you hated when people say that because it meant they're doing something shitty, which is a good point. Yeah, I think that's a good point. I don't think anyone's been like, don't worry about it. It's just business. When they're, like, actually helping you, you know? He's like, but I don't feel bad about it, okay? And you said I had a reputation for lying. How dare you? I had to hear about that. Sitting across from the queen, having tea in England. You know how embarrassing that was?

[Ronnie]

So you're just, like, not gonna apologize? Is that like that. You're just not gonna apologize for calling me a liar. When have I ever lied? And God bless. Bravo. For the first time, they did not roll a 10 minute montage of Craig lying for a decade.

[Ben]

Then Kyle's like, bro, you're sad. I don't think your level of sadness could ever appropriate the amount of. Oh, silence, a little fall of rain, and mind me, now you're here. That's all I need to know. That sounded like Luann doing.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Luke miserable.

[Ben]

There is a castle on a cloud.

[Ronnie]

Master of the eggs a la francais commercials.

[Ben]

Here comes one right now.

[Ronnie]

No matter how you travel, it's good to have a plan.

[Ben]

Some people plan every minute.

[Ronnie]

No sleep.

[Ben]

Bus, museum, another museum. While others only plan to take it day by day. When it comes to your finances, a plan is just as important.

[Ronnie]

You can count on Credit Karma to.

[Ben]

Give you the insights you need to understand your options so you can take charge of your financial path and find.

[Ronnie]

Your way to money. Explore how you can make financial progress with confidence today. Intuit Credit Karma Karma you can count on.

[Ben]

The stench of sweaty uniforms in a football team's locker room can be unbearable.

[Ronnie]

But Arm and Hammer Deep Clean Laundry.

[Ben]

Detergents fights the toughest odors to deliver.

[Ronnie]

A championship level clean.

[Ben]

Arm Hammer Deep Clean detergents are the brand's most powerful formulas yet that can penetrate deep between fibers to tackle tough dirt and odors. Just like an elite defense, its pH power technology sends in millions of ionic micro scrubbers to dominate the toughest stains and odors. And unlike those premium tickets with the trusted value of Arm and Hammer, you don't need deep pockets for a Deep clean. Available in liquid or convenient power packs, it works in all machines and temperatures, even cold water. When it comes to tough stains and orders, put Arm and Hammer Deep Clean in your starting lineup. Pick up Arm Hammer Deep Clean today. Available in store or online at major retailers nationwide. So both guys have a spritzer business that's probably not profiting. Let's be honest, because last year we found out Kyle wasn't making a profit. He's like, I'm a million something in debt, bro. How do you make anything that makes me feel? And crai. I don't even think he owns that. He's just like, got paid some money to do that. So they both look at each other and they're like, we're not going to fight forever about not profiting off of spritzers, okay? Let's just drop it. Yeah, so they do.

[Ronnie]

Never let a spritzer Come between your friendships. So basically they're like, yeah, let's just be friends again. And they hug and they're like, all we care about is the girls, bro. All I care about is us and the girls who we're going to be in relationships with for a very long time. I just want to go back to double dating, especially in the new year. Just you and me and you and you and Paige. Let's just do it, bro.

[Ben]

Two couples destined to last. So then the party starts going on and raging all around us, and we get one of the ultimate Trixie monitor bangers.

[Ronnie]

Yes.

[Ben]

Please don't come and kill my vibe right now. You're not up for a good time? Please get out. Spread the good vibes over here. Spread the good vibes over here. Paul, get your goddamn finger out of your. We're trying to record here.

[Ronnie]

That's a jam. They play that one a lot. Have you guys noticed that song? It's like. It's great.

[Ben]

So now Paige is talking to Emerald and Amanda, and Paige is like, oh, look, this is a parrot. This is my friend Polly. Emeril. Okay? Be nice to her. She likes drunks and crackers. She married one.

[Ronnie]

And Emeril. Emeril's like, oh, yeah. I met a girl named Polly at Burning Man. It's the hardest name to have over there. Because if you say, hey, you're Polly, everyone's like, yeah, because everyone's poly over here. I have sex and swings.

[Ben]

I don't think poly just means fucking. Everybody does it. Doesn't poly mean when you have, like, multiple deep relationships? Because I lived next door to a poly girl for a long time, and I was like, please have less relationships. And it was. It wasn't even the fucking. Because that was like. So I have to say, like, it was so low volume, I could hear it because it was right next door. But it was like this. Yeah. What do you. What do you. They talked. They just fucking talked. It was like one bang. How do you feel about that? Well, maybe we should invite Ethan over and Ethan can tell us how he feels about that. It's like, oh, my God. I'll just. I'll just stay a whore. You know, maybe.

[Ronnie]

Maybe when he said that he was poly, he meant douchey. That would make a lot more sense. So anyway, they're like, okay, RGB's. They're so. By the way, they're so visibly disgusted with Emeril every time. They're like, well, I guess we have to talk to him today. So let's let's walk by and say one thing. This is pretty benign. How about oh here's my. Here's a parrot. Polly wanna cracker. Hey, Polly, right?

[Ben]

Yeah, I'm Polly too. I tell every girl with Burning Man.

[Ronnie]

So Sierra goes up to Carl and she's like, so Carl, who's that chick?

[Ben]

No one going to do anything. No one's going to talk. I'm gonna put on an inflatable shark outfit and DJ right now.

[Ronnie]

From like on the other side of the fence is Danielle being like club sending.

[Ben]

You guys forgot to leave the key under the map and it's cool. I'll just wait here.

[Ronnie]

Hey, can you play that song before for it to catch the lir. I'm Polly too by the way. I am. I hate when Kyle gets into his inflatable costume. Cuz it's always the same thing. He puts on the inflatable costume and then it inevitably is. Man, I'm so. Don't do it to yourself, Kyle. So Sierra goes up to Carl and she's like, so who's that girl? He's like oh, her name is Lil.

[Ben]

She goes, well she's telling people she fucks lemurs.

[Ronnie]

So she tried to pull a card out of my ear but accidentally sliced me with a broken bottle. And it was weird.

[Ben]

And it cuts to Lil dancing and.

[Ronnie]

She'S like.

[Ben]

Lil's in some washing machine of her own. She's the only one. Like.

[Ronnie]

Carl's like, I did ask her on a date. We're gonna split a Sprite bottle with my parents on a Wednesday morning.

[Ben]

So Craig is now talking about west and Jesse to Amanda because you know Craig's ultimate goal here is just to gossip. You know, that's all he wants to do. So he's like, wow, watching them run around. It's funny. They're like kids with a shiny new thing talking about the boys because they are still doing the hors d'oeuvre thing where they've just seen girls like yeah. Grabbing whatever they can. And Amanda's like, they forget we exist at parties sometimes. It's almost like we married them.

[Ronnie]

Craig's like, yeah, it's like fun to watch. They're like kids with like shiny objects. Oh I'm. You mean like you guys in Southern Charm? Yes, absolutely. So then Wes does the splits, you know, cause Kyle Richards is not on TV at the moment. So we did. It's been two days since we've seen Kyle Richards. Unfortunately doesn't have enough hair to do the ponytail thing.

[Ben]

So Jesse comes up to talk to him. And Jesse's like, hey, Craig. Hey. Can I ask you a question? Let me ask you. Come here, bro. How do you stop. Like, how'd you stop for Paige? And there's, like, all these hot girls around. Like, how do you stop yourself? And Craig goes, you date your number one, that's how. Like, you gotta date the girl that you cheat on your girlfriend with.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. That's so romantic. I just wanna.

[Ben]

The moment I boss of mistresses. That's what you do. The final boss.

[Ronnie]

The moment I knew I was in love with you was when I knew that I could someday cheat on you. But instead I wouldn't.

[Ben]

What's the name of the bat? What's the big dinosaur in Super Mario at the end? What's his name? Bow wow?

[Ronnie]

Bowser.

[Ben]

Oh, Bowser. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Little Bow Wow has a great rap career.

[Ben]

The bowser of mistresses.

[Ronnie]

I'm the architect. Hey, you know what I. You know what I like about Mario? He's not just a plumber, he's a storyteller.

[Ben]

When I saw that short guy get such hot ass, I got hard. So, Amanda.

[Ronnie]

I was like, do you know. Do you know how. How quickly I just went through a Rolodex of Super Mario characters to figure out which one was Paige?

[Ben]

It's Peach.

[Ronnie]

Just always running away from Mario. Like, oh, no.

[Ben]

Yes, I've been kidnapped.

[Ronnie]

Oh, no, Craig, I'm kidnapped. Oh, sorry. I'm living with some big guy with a jack body in a castle now. Sorry, Craig.

[Ben]

Bye. Oh, sure, I'll marry you. Oh, here it is, our lovely. Whoops. Here's the dinosaur thing. Captured me. Bye.

[Ronnie]

Does that mean that Luigi is Austin? Craig is insane right now. It's a mushroom kingdom. But what's Shep? Shep is toad Garosh.

[Ben]

The princess is stolen.

[Ronnie]

You have to save the princess and her freckled little lips.

[Ben]

Patricia's just that thing on a cloud that throws, like, spiky turtles at everybody. Sorry. Sorry.

[Ronnie]

Whitney's a Koopa troopa. Mother, Mother, Mother.

[Ben]

So Amanda is. They're still talking to Jesse and Craig. So Amanda's like. It's hard to read him, you know? Like, sometimes he's like, look at all these girls. But if Lexi was here, he'd built. He'd be like a little parrot because she's his prize. And Craig's like, let's ask him. Jesse, come here. Jesse. Jesse. Jesse. Amanda says you're into Lexi. He's like, well, it's hard because, you know, there's Lexi and everything. I mean, one Thing about Lexi is I'm never confused about where her lips are. You know, they're pretty well outlined. But there's just, like, so many hot chicks here. You notice that?

[Ronnie]

Are you afraid to change your ways? He's like, I mean, yeah, I'll be lying if I said there was a small part of me. He's like, so you want to change your ways? I mean, because there's hot girls around. I mean, because, yeah, they're really hot. You Maybe you'd want to kiss them in an alternate reality. I mean, yeah, sure. Okay. So you want to cheat. I mean, okay, I'm gonna go tell everyone you want to cheat. Amanda, just like, come on, I got. Give me something. I got to go around, tell people something.

[Ben]

She kind of does do that, but there's that moment where she's just like, are you afraid to change your ways for a woman? You know, it's the right woman if she makes you want to change, even if you never really do. Cut the car. I'm going to change soon. Amanda.

[Ronnie]

He's at the front of the dinghy going, I hang of the world.

[Ben]

So Craig goes, yeah, you know, you don't date. So I love that. Craig's a fucking expert. Shut up, Craig. Who's asking? Craig? So Craig's like, you don't want to date someone because they check the boxes. Cut to Craig literally on Southern Charm the day before or the day after this show airs, going, I just like Paige Andy, because she checked all the boxes.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, he literally said that. So Jesse's like, I mean, I had a really good conversation in Sierra, and he's like, you know, when I asked her, I said, like, you know, what could have happened if I just showed up on time a year ago? And she was like, well, why didn't you try? And I was like, well, my boy called dibs, you know? And, you know, Lexi was at home watching that with her lip liner, like.

[Ben]

So Amanda's like, okay, but if there was a burning building, who would you save? Lexi or Sierra? It's a given that we're all gonna kill Jules, so let's just leave her in there.

[Ronnie]

It's her favorite game. Who would you save from a burning building? And he says. He says, well, they're both small. Put them both over my shoulder. Menage a trois, right? Amanda's like, wait, so you're not gonna save me? I was like, yes. It took five years. Karma.

[Ben]

So he's like, I mean, I'm not blind. Have you seen Sierra? I mean, she's a Model. All right, like, of course I'd save her, but we just have a friend vibe because she dated my friend. You know, we haven't discovered beyond that. Should we do it? We should. Are you saying we should? We totally should. Okay. I would date Sierra. Listen, I'm a heterosexual male. I would. Oh, my God. Lexi.

[Ronnie]

We're not on camera still, right? We're not on camera still, right?

[Ben]

Yeah. Oh. So then he leaves, and Craig's like, whoa. Did you guys know that he likes Sierra? She's like, well, I mean, I asked her, and she said that she's not a honey hopper. I was like, who says that she's going to end up with west after all this? Homie.

[Ronnie]

Homie hopper.

[Ben]

Oh, homie hopper still. I'm not a homie, Hop. I just wrote it down wrong.

[Ronnie]

Well, they both have reasons that are bullshit for them not being together. So let's get them together so that way everything go. Goes wrong in their lives.

[Ben]

Do you know how much pain would be saved if we had you guys here for every recap?

[Ronnie]

I know. So then.

[Ben]

No, you idiot.

[Ronnie]

So Paige is on her bed, and Sierra. Sierra walks in the room, and Sierra goes, I love how I knew exactly where you'd be. I was like, yeah, so did America.

[Ben]

Yeah. So Craig's like, it's not nothing, Amanda. This is a big deal. Okay? So Carl's like, we promise never to come after every. After each other's brands. So, you know, we're chummy now. Shark reference.

[Ronnie]

So Sierra's like, ugh. I talked to Jesse. Ugh. And Paige is like, oh, I saw that. That was for, like, a long time.

[Ben]

Yeah, you're really lucky. Cause I had to hear Emerl talk about fisting someone's gardener for 30 minutes.

[Ronnie]

So meanwhile, we got to. We cut to the Ratliff brothers peeing. And west is like, on the lawn.

[Ben]

He's like, in case anybody was wondering where they were peeing.

[Ronnie]

I mean, where else would they be? So Wes is like, you know what, Emerald? Don't answer that. West is like. He's like, hey, bruh, want some Hampty Wa?

[Ben]

Hampty Wa. And he's like, my mom texted me, and she was like, how do you open Hampton's water? Hampty Wa. Like, literally, we've got our dicks out right now trying to open the Hampty Wah. Please just die. I want those. I want the. I want these people to choke.

[Ronnie]

Every good thing has to come to an end. And such is the case for Carl and Lil's date well, I'm so glad you came. I was just saying this summer's nice because I'm actually within this group of friends. I have my own voice and my own self, and it sounds like this. I don't know what to say. So it just feels good to be, like, here, leaning into Lemur Energy, learning about magic. Maybe someday and knowing that, like, there's a girl who wants to have a soda with me. I'm just a lemur standing in front of a girl, asking her to love me. Yeah.

[Ben]

Because in my last relationship, that girl got pregnant with his baby in the bed I paid for in that apartment. Yeah. Hopefully with her fucking cardboard cutout standing above her going, yeah, you made the right choice, Lindsay. What?

[Ronnie]

So this girl Carl pay for. What bed did Carl pay for a bed? I'd like to know.

[Ben]

So then her parents come to pick her up. I'm like, hi, honey, we brought the mermaid tail. You asked for it. Oh, there they are.

[Ronnie]

Hi. You look great, by the way.

[Ben]

You look great in guyliner.

[Ronnie]

Oh, thanks so much. You look great in lady eyeliner. Or just lady. Oh, no, this is getting scary.

[Ben]

Oh, he's so charming. What are you supposed to be, a pirate? He's like, yeah, I guess I should be saying, argh. Argh.

[Ronnie]

Yo ho, all hell, mind the soft soda on the boat.

[Ben]

So next we go to the city.

[Ronnie]

Thank you for the scattered applause. Thank you.

[Ben]

We go to the city, and Lindsay's in her apartment lighting sage. She's like, this is where the baby's going. This is where the futon that Carl claims that he paid for one Lemur Energy. Lemur. Get rid of this lemur. Okay.

[Ronnie]

Oh, wait. This spot here is the sandwich that I made for that other guy, Stravi.

[Ben]

Okay, let's get.

[Ronnie]

Oh, wait, this spot over here. I'm gonna say, joyce.

[Ben]

Here'S a sandwich making station. Ow. Ow.

[Ronnie]

Oh, there's reporter Christina Gibson gonna sage her out.

[Ben]

Okay. So she's like, this apartment has seen so much, and I considered moving, but if you eliminate the bad energy, it's fine. I'm fine, girl. So now I'm stress free and I don't give a fuck. So then she gets on the phone with Aunt Rhonda. I have never seen Aunt Rhonda this happy. Normally when they show Aunt Rhonda, she's like, hey, honey, why are you calling me? Why do I need to hear another 10 minute sob about a man? Not this time. She's like, aunt Rhonda, I've got sage. It's like, oh, My God, Lindsay. Good for you, honey.

[Ronnie]

She's like, wait a second. Are you telling me you took down your neon rat house sign? Oh, my God. I thought the day would never come. Thank God.

[Ben]

She's so happy. She's like, how are you girls doing? Oh, God. Are you saging your apartment? You need a fresh sage love. Get rid of them. Burn it down. Burn Carl out of that place.

[Ronnie]

You just hear the sound of the spirits leaving. They're like so brick and mortar. Hug me harder.

[Ben]

So then we get. She's like, oh, yeah, I got rid of the futon. I got rid of the dresser. I got rid of bad vibes gown. And then we see a clip of them sitting on that couch. And Carl's like, oh, we're supposed to be married in two months and I'm not ready to do that. And they just keep pointing. It's like, ding. The couch ding. It's the bad vibes couch. Ding, ding, ding.

[Ronnie]

So Lindsay's like, yeah, I don't have FOMO about missing this party. Stupid pirate party.

[Ben]

Shipwrecked.

[Ronnie]

Which actually I came up with that idea and Carl just took it because he doesn't have any of his own ideas. Not even for stupid parties. I thought that was so funny that Carl couldn't even come up with his own party idea.

[Ben]

We should do a shipwreck party. I can't be here next week. Stoler. Shipwreck party.

[Ronnie]

It's like, next year Carl's gonna be like, guys, I was thinking about having a party and it could be in. I don't know. I was just thinking about something like maybe tribute to aunt Rhonda. I don't know. They're like, did you come up with that on your own, Carl? Yeah, totally, totally.

[Ben]

And aunt Rhonda's like, good for you, Lindsay. God, the only thing about you having a decent man and not having to dump a terrible man is where am I gonna get the serotonin left?

[Ronnie]

So back to the party. Jesse and west are sort of hanging out. Jesse has shit faced. He has torn his pants from dancing on the dance floor. I can't even imagine how badly he mangled the venga bus, but he did. And west is like, Jesse basically saying, like, by the way, I was talking to Sierra and I wanted to defend your honor, bro. And she just kept on being like, oh, you used her. And I was like, no, bro. Like, how do we get back to being a place where all friends again? She looked at me and was kind of like, never, bro. And then Wes is like, I'm sad.

[Ben]

Well, yeah, because that whole conversation with Sierra, he was supposed to be like, hey, bro, give my bro a chance. Sierra, he's a good guy. Maybe you can very Mary west after all. And instead he was like, hey, Sierra, sure, we've got a chance, don't we, honey?

[Ronnie]

He sort of, like, missed. He kind of, like, messed up the. The mission, you know, we're just friends.

[Ben]

We're just friends. So you're saying I have a chance, right?

[Ronnie]

She's like, I'm gonna put on my pelican mask again. So basically, yeah. And now Wes is all in his feelings, like, oh, my God, I can't believe she's. She said that. You know, like, God, he gets to really what the core is, which is like, Austin was way worse than I was. She still talks to Austin. Why am I getting raked over the goals?

[Ben]

Was Austin worse than. I don't think Austin was worse. Austin was pretty bad.

[Ronnie]

Austin was worse. Awesome.

[Ben]

Because he didn't. He didn't say. Because she told. She was straight up with west and said, listen, I'm not going to sleep with you unless we're. We have something. Austin didn't necessarily say that. Austin was just kind of like, hey, who wants you sign this good around here, Charleston. Whatever. Like, it's fine. We'll want a double date. And she kind of assumed, but with west, she was like, no, this is what I want. Don't me over. And he's like, you over? Never. By the way, New York Times never really liked Sierra. That. That's true. I think west is actually worse.

[Ronnie]

Although Austin. Austin did say, you look like goddamn Celine Dion, which is a strange one. Celine Dion does not deserve that. Just. Just to be associated with Austin. I mean. So anyway, so Sierra and Paige are in bed, of course. And Paige says the least surprising thing, which is this party is draining me. You know, Craig and I went to dinner Thursday night. I had to have kangaroo. Ew, disgusting. And he just started to be like, I come to you 90% of the time, and we never even talk about it. And now you're, like, going on tour and like, am I going to be like, I just want to make sure our relationship is like a priority. Like, gross, disgusting.

[Ben]

Sierra's like, yeah, like, woe is me. And then she gets her iPad and she's like, dumping. And she goes, and I'm not going to tell you again. And Paige was like, well, we got home. And then he was like, well, obviously on camera. I'm not gonna say that your shit's bigger than Mine, because that would look negative towards me. And I was like, but it would look positive towards me, Craig. And she's like, what he wouldn't even say was that your was bigger than his dump. That idiot. Damn it. Did I say that again? And Craig, meanwhile, is like, where's my girlfriend? Girlfriend?

[Ronnie]

Paige is like, I mean, I'm starting to wonder, like, is Craig, like, a secret hater and a storyteller?

[Ben]

So Sierra's like, well, he shouldn't have. She shouldn't have to pay for his lack of self esteem. This is all on him. Fuck that guy, you know? So Jesse and West went on a podcast. I think it was virtual reality. And they were talking, and Jesse's like, wow, you know, the girls are real convincing. Convincing with, like. You know how they, like, say that men are screwing them over and stuff? I mean, Craig was just saying, like, make our relationship a priority. Like, is that so bad? I mean, what's so wrong with that? And the host of that was like, you're gonna get.

[Ronnie]

Like.

[Ben]

You could just hear him being like, you're gonna get your ass beat page here. Because that's not all Craig did. Craig said, you know, you can't really work the same when we're together and you have a baby. So this is the end, right? This is all you're gonna do. He is trying to hold that girl back, and I'm glad she dumped him. And Jesse, I'm not surprised.

[Ronnie]

Oh, yeah. We have been and continue to be resolutely Team Paige on this situation.

[Ben]

So outside, Jesse said that the rest of his season's not very good, and we're about to see why. But I was like, you just made it ten times worse. Do you really want. Do you really need Paige after your ass now to okay another death on my list? Revenge.

[Ronnie]

So outside.

[Ben]

Remember that sound?

[Ronnie]

Revenge. The ocean would be, like, so outside. The party is in full swing. Let's pretend that Lil didn't actually leave yet, because apparently she hasn't, because now we see her doing the worm, which just. Okay, it's. It's funny to see anyone doing the worm but Lil doing the worm.

[Ben]

Lil does the worm just in conversation. She's like, you know, I know. I'm really into cards.

[Ronnie]

She's like, trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat but also doing the worm at the same time.

[Ben]

She's doing an interpretive dance commemorating her future relationship with Carl. You see it all working out.

[Ronnie]

So then upstairs, Amanda joins the girls upstairs, and she's asking. She's like, by the Way you guys, like, she's talking about, like, Jesse. I think she's talking. Did she talk about Jesse and. And Sierra? Yes. Because Amanda's like, I've been picking up on it all summer. And I mentioned to her a couple of times, and she's like, no, I would never. And I thought it was a joke. But then they were like this. And dancing with each other.

[Ben]

That sounds gross. I'm trying to hide in bed away from this gross shit. Could you please stop? I don't want to go downstairs. I don't want to look at that. And I heard Lil is doing the worm. Can someone just bomb this house? Although I do want a chicken finger. Okay, I'm going to come down.

[Ronnie]

And we do see. I mean, like, Jesse is, like, grinding up on Sierra. Lexi will not be happy with that. And I can't wait to see her reaction.

[Ben]

Yeah. And Amanda's like, is it weird eating chicken fingers? Cause I'm like a bird and I'm eating another bird.

[Ronnie]

Deep thoughts on this show at all times. So they go. The party ends. And I was shocked that Amanda did not go running out to the backyard to say, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. She must have really been, like, upset that she didn't get to say it this week because that's kind of like all she does on the show is kick people out of the house.

[Ben]

So Paige is like, all right, get the boys up to my room. We need to gossip. I'll be on the bed. So now Jesse is putting Sierra's feet on his leg on the couch. They're kind of gathering on the couch and they're all getting flirty and drunk. So Jesse has her feet on his leg, and she's like, my feet are ash. And Paige is like, sucker toes.

[Ronnie]

It's great. Great foreshadowing. I was. I didn't even know what was going to come. I'm. And I mean that in all ways. So Sierra's like, ew, don't suck my toes. So then of course, like, Emeril's like, what was that? And yeah, he's like, wait a second. Someone could be sucking my toes. Who wants to go out tonight? And so they're like, yeah, let's all go out. Let's go out on tonight. So they're all going to go out. And Paige is like, ew, disgusting. A non bed activity. I would never.

[Ben]

But then there, Amanda sees West outside by himself, and she's like, that's so sad. Wes is out there all by himself. Do you think he's okay? And it just shows Wes dancing all alone in those wings at the edge of the, like, dance floor where nobody is. He's like.

[Ronnie]

Sad little puppy. So now Amanda goes out there to check on him, basically to get gossip, and he's like, dude, like, it's getting to the point where, like, I'm trying to be nice and I'm trying to be civil, but, like, she won't be friends with me. Like, it's, like, really not fair because it's not my fault. Didn't work out just because she said, promise you won't use me, and then I used her. And then, like, went on to bang random chicks at bars across the country. Like, that just, like, hurts a lot.

[Ben]

He's like, yeah, like, I'm sorry, but you can't get mad at me just because I didn't want to date you and then keep villainizing me because we're not dating. I was like, oh, my God. You're just making this so much worse. That's not the point, you piece of. She never would have dated you in the first place.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, you begged and begged and begged.

[Ben]

God, it's like when you give somebody a fiver on the street, and you're like, I'm a fucking baller. I just helped somebody today. And they're like, that's. Fuck you, you fat bastard. You got more than that.

[Ronnie]

Well, it wouldn't be Summer House without someone love bombing. So let's go into the bathroom where Jesse is peeing and simultaneously flirting with Lexi on the FaceTime.

[Ben]

She's like, oh, my God, you're calling me. Are you peeing right now? And it's like, what's the sound of peeing? I don't know how you make that with. I've never tried to make that with my mouth. No, but, like, the bubbles hitting the water.

[Ronnie]

Like, I. I really like. I really like. But I have to say, I really like the audience participation on that just now. But you're like, what's the sound of ping? And then we all were like. It's like we're both doing pee sound and calling a bunch of cats.

[Ben]

So I love seeing right now. Yes, you are.

[Ronnie]

So then we go to Craig and Paige and Craig. They're sitting on the bed and bed. And Craig is like, we haven't eaten all day today. She's. I ate. What did you eat? Chicken. What? No. Chicken. What? Chicken. What? I ate chicken. You. You didn't. You didn't eat me? I'm alive. No, Chicken. What? The thing that I ate today was chicken. You are gonna tell me.

[Ben]

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why take it away from chicken?

[Ronnie]

Why? How do I get away from myself?

[Ben]

I've been asking myself the same question for two years.

[Ronnie]

Hey, Craig. Hey, Craig, can you get your phone? What? Where is it? It's right here. Why do you want to know? Okay, now lay back. Okay, now go on it and shut up.

[Ben]

Because why should I do that? She goes, so I can go on mine. Please be quiet.

[Ronnie]

Hey, Craig. Hey, Craig, can I see one of your pillows? Sure. Okay. Oh, can you just hold it a little closer to your face? Yeah, a little closer. Yeah, a little closer. I don't know if I can breathe anymore. Closer. He did it to himself. Not my fault.

[Ben]

Back to Jesse and Lexi. Do you miss me? Yeah. I mean, yeah, I miss you. I jerked off before the party so I wouldn't, like, miss you too bad. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

If these two aren't a forever couple, I don't know who is.

[Ben]

And she's like, yeah, you know, so, like, I mean, but it didn't work because I jerked off, but then I still missed you. She goes, oh, that's exactly what I wanted to hear. It's like, there's no hope for you. Listen, Lexi, I'm trying with you. The man is peeing as he calls you and then talks about jerking off so he doesn't miss you, girl. Bye.

[Ronnie]

That was. He was trying to save that. What he meant to say was, I jerked off so I wouldn't cheat on you.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And then he was like, so I don't miss you. And then she's like, but I want you to jerk off to me, right? And then she's like, I miss you. And she's like, okay.

[Ben]

So, like, yeah, I mean, I thought about you before jerking off. I thought about you during jerking off. I thought about you after jerking off. She's like, you thought about me after? He's like, well, right now it's after. So I guess I'm thinking about you. Oh, my God, I want to run to the Hamptons right now. I'm up in Canada with my family.

[Ronnie]

And, like, I've been hearing from Jesse, like, non stop. Like, even on a regular day, he calls me like 50 to 100 times. Except for 37 minutes between the hours of 3am to 3.

[Ben]

37Am well, you know, I mean, I just love it because, like, he updates me with what he's doing, and then I update him with what I'm doing. Lip liner. Lip liner. Lip Liner mom calls. I do a podcast with my sister and my mom called 69 girls. Then we put lip liner on each other. And then he calls me again. So he's like, yeah, I'm thinking about how bad it is with us and Sierra, you know, and like, I just hope you and I don't ever come to that point, you know, you're about to fuck Sierra. What are you talking about?

[Ronnie]

So meanwhile, it's that hour of the night, the hour where Kyle is sleeping slumped over his DJ booth, going, barney. So now everyone goes out. Everyone goes out for a good time. Everyone heads out. It's the usual thing. They go out and then they come back and they push open that door. You're like, okay, whatever.

[Ben]

Craig does exactly what Kyle does when he comes home. He walks into the room when Paige is sleeping and he's like, hey, honey, honey.

[Ronnie]

Dying.

[Ben]

Look how early I am. I just couldn't do it. I had to come back to you. And then, you see, everyone is home at the same time as Craig.

[Ronnie]

And you know, as per tradition, Emeril brings his two friends to the house. An arrow and an arrow.

[Ben]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Ronnie]

And we. Well, we have a little surprise for you guys, which is that we have the two girls from summer house. Please welcome the two friends. Person in person. Hi, welcome. So good to see you guys. Huh? Yeah. Oh, so. Yeah. Okay. Well, thanks so much for coming. Okay, thank you.

[Ben]

Bye. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Ronnie]

Wow. It's great to finally get to hear their perspective on this.

[Ben]

So Emerald's like, hey, Jesse goes, hey, you brought two chicks home, Cuz. Emerald. We. We just hear Emerald. He's putting like a washcloth over the camera, you know, so he can bone as he does every night.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

So he's putting it. And then you just hear him go, I'm naked, by the way.

[Ronnie]

I know, but those two girls are like, so. But then in the middle this, it gets. Obviously I guess it gets too hot. Because then he goes downstairs and he's like. But then he's like, brag. He's like, hey, everyone, two girls upstairs. Anyone got a fan? And they're like, what? There's two girls up there.

[Ben]

So even the guys, like the guys who are all horn dogs, usually, they're why you're fucking in the house. Folk and legend. Yes. Like crazy by now, they're like, you brought more women home. I know. Take the fan and open a window, please. God, man. So then, except for Jesse. Jesse's like, you brought you girls home. Hey, maybe I'll check in, you know? So he like drunkenly walks down the hall and he opens the door and he goes, I just really miss you guys. And then he goes, goes into the room.

[Ronnie]

What would Jesse Solomon do?

[Ben]

So 37 minutes later.

[Ronnie]

I was not expecting this. I thought he was gonna walk in. It'd be a gag. It'd be silly. Ha ha, ha ha ha. But it was 37 minutes later.

[Ben]

37 minutes. You're 25. That should have been three minutes later. Coming, done. 37 minutes later is me. And this is how it ends.

[Ronnie]

Oh, my God.

[Ben]

Oh, Jesus Christ. Hand me those pills. Am I having a heart attack? Feel my pulse. Feel my pulse. Did I die already? I really gotta start Zumba again. 25. Shame on you. 37 minutes later. So Jesse leaves and he's trying to be subtle. He's like, oh, God, so great seeing you guys. Great seeing you. Love you guys. And then we see a close up on the floor. When I tell you that I zaprudered the shit out of this film. I've been backstage there. I downloaded it from the Peacock. I was like, rewind 10 seconds, pause. Ben, what does this look like to you? I'm airdropping it to you right now. He's like some shit on the floor. Condoms. Does it look like condoms? What is he holding in his hand right now? What is he. Is it a gun? Is it a gun?

[Ronnie]

It was like cereal. It was basically the next season of cereal. How many condoms were on the floor? Which is actually kind of like Lindsay, now that I think about it. Oh, my God. Lindsay would make a great prosecutor for a crime podcast.

[Ben]

What were you doing the night of the murders?

[Ronnie]

Did you siege beforehand? But yeah, Ronnie even sent it to me. Ronnie's like, ben, look at this. And I was looking, girl.

[Ben]

I was on the Reddit. I was looking at every detail, like, what did people find? What did they find? So here's what it is. I don't think they're condoms on the ground because they didn't have the little rib, you know, the little curled up sections that they. I think that was plastic wrap from something they just unwrapped and thrown on the floor. Was it a box of condoms? I don't know. It was wrapping for something. And then there was like some little thong. And I. I'm so jealous of people who were that tiny. This thong was this big. It was like this. I had to do an image search. It was like, it's a thong. I Was like, no way. No, it's not. Is that a fingertip cover? What the fuck is that thing? It was a thon. And then Jesse walks out and he's hold. We see a close up of his hand and he's holding what looks like a rolled up sock that looks wet.

[Ronnie]

He came in it. I'll say it. He came in it.

[Ben]

So then Jesse walks down the hall and he's holding his phone in one hand and this sock thing in another. This wet sock. And then he's kind of trying to hide the sock and he almost puts it in his pocket, but thinks again against it, probably because it's a splooge sock and you know he's gonna wear those shorts 10 more times. But then by the time he gets back to the bedroom, the sock is gone and he's hidden it from the camera. So I don't know, maybe it's. Maybe he's like, it'll be fine in the back pocket either way. You just. You just either got. Do you think he just got a blood. What do you think he did?

[Ronnie]

I. Well, you know what? I guess we'll have to see what happens on the White Lotus tonight before we fully.

[Ben]

I want to know what happened, because if it was a blowjob, I feel so sorry for those girls and I'm mad that we don't see them the next day because I want to see one of those arrows walking out with a jaw that's clicking like here 37, man.

[Ronnie]

My honest opinion is the following, which is that I think that Jesse went in there. I think the girl sucked on his toe. I think that the threesome did the threesome thing. And then I do think the creepy little brother from the White Lotus jerked him off. No, no, I do. I think that. I think Jesse jerked him. I think Jesse jerked off while they were all doing something. That is my theory. So that way he could reasonably say I didn't participate. It was funny.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

He can say, I never touched a girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let it be known he jerked off.

[Ben]

They did have that conversation where he's like, I jerked off and I thought of you. So maybe. And she thought it was romantic. So maybe he'll be like, I jerked off to a threesome. And I pictured three of you. She's like, oh, my God, we'll see. But this guy, okay, so then people go to bed. Who cares? I just want to talk about this for the rest of my life, really.

[Ronnie]

So.

[Ben]

So I'm gonna go into White Lotus threads like you guys. What was Jesse Carrying, you know.

[Ronnie]

You know what I can't wait to do once the White Lotus is done is to make some other stupid Bravo mashup video. And then people think that something that happened on the White Lotus happened in Bravo. Because remember when I did that with Heather Gay? Remember when we were all wondering how Heather Gay got her black eye? And I just did a stupid video where I spliced in the end of a white lotus and people were like, guys, I heard that Heather Gay fell off a boat. And there was not a boat in sight on that show. And everyone's like, no, Heather Gay in the middle of night went off to a boat and fell off. I saw the footage, so I'm ready, everyone, I'm ready to cause some on the Internet.

[Ben]

So good. So we wake up in the morning, Kyle goes running. Jesse is talking to west in the kitchen and he's like. And we're two chicks in his van. So, you know, they were like, come in, Jesse. So, you know, I put my toes in their faces, kind of joking, you know, and then they were like, you know, what do you want to do? And I like, suck my toe. And so they did. When I tell you someone posted a close up of this man's foot on the rack. Listen, the toes are like this.

[Ronnie]

Listen, listen. His toes probably tasted great because listen what he. Look, here's how he describes them. Well, you know, I've been partying outside. I was barefoot. Then I went to a club. Couldn't have smelled that great.

[Ben]

Ew. So then the producer's like, uh huh. And why did you take your socks off? And he's like, oh, I was barefoot. I was barefoot when I went in there. And she's like, no, you weren't. And then they show a close up of him holding this sock in his hand as he leaves the room. I was like, hire that producer onto the show next season. I want Lil and the producer on the show. That was so good. I was so proud of her. I was like, pulitzer, Pulitzer.

[Ronnie]

And then we see a flashback of him going in that room going, and I'm hard.

[Ben]

Maybe we didn't get a timestamp, but I'm thinking that was probably the 37 minute mark. And they're like, oh, just get out of here. 37 minutes. So then we go to agent Craig in bed. So he's trying to snuggle and he's like, oh, sorry, I had a dream. I had a short dream. She's like, me too. It's called our relationship. Get out. Sorry. Did that come out of my mouth.

[Ronnie]

He's, like, waking up. He, like, twitches or something, and he knocks her phone out of her hand. I was like, oh, she's done with you now. Do you see my hand? What's in it? Nothing. Exactly. You're done. Get out of here.

[Ben]

So then we go see Wes take his daily shower in the pool, and Amanda's like, in the middle of the night, I had waves of nausea, and I was like, what the hell? And then I looked over and Kyle was there, and I was like, oh, yeah, Kyle.

[Ronnie]

Gabby says something. She goes, I hate that for both of you. What time did you guys get back? Can we give Gabby something more to do on this show?

[Ben]

Listen, people are making their own plot lines here. Gabby needs to get her toes out and go to work. So Jesse comes back and he's like, hey, guys got back or there was a threesome, huh? And Amanda's like, oh, my God, you checked on him. How do you even have the confidence to walk in on him and two girls?

[Ronnie]

Gabby's like, wait, I thought you were joking. Wait, he actually brought two girls home? I. Hold on. I have to put on my new disgusted face.

[Ben]

And Jesse's like, well, this is what I did. I was like, hi. You know, Girl Scout cookies or whatever. And then they were like, come fuck us. And I said, no, no, I couldn't. Lexi's better than foursomes, right?

[Ronnie]

You know what? Romance is not dead after all. Lexi is better than foursomes.

[Ben]

And when you looked deeply into my eyes and you said, lexi, you're better than foursomes, I said, I do.

[Ronnie]

Amanda's like, I'm going to let her know that you said that. And he goes, I mean, I didn't even consider at that moment what she might think about it. Amanda's like, great. Every girl's dream.

[Ben]

And then we see Emeril coming out, and they're playing this dramatic music because I guess Emeril's in trouble now for having a force. Since when? I don't know. But Emeril comes out. He's like, hey, guys. Polly. Wiping his face, giving himself the ho bath as he walks out. And they're laying like, emerald's here. And then we see clips of next week when Sierra's like, bro, you fuck, like, 10 people at a time in our house. And it's getting fucking disgusting. And that brings us to the end of summer housing.

[Ronnie]

Thank you, Philadelphia Sophia, for being here tonight. You're always an amazing crowd, and we will see you next time.

[Ben]

We love you guys. Bye.

[Ronnie]

Good night.

[Ben]

Thank you.

[Ronnie]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Alison King Our way is the Amber way It's the Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster it's always automatic with.

[Ben]

Ashley Auto Ashley Savoni she don't take.

[Ronnie]

No baloney Put your hands together for Carly Clapp Catherine D. Bernardo has our.

[Ben]

Hearto get on the right foot With Chrissy Offutt Dana C. Dana do she's not just a Sheila She's a Daniella Etchells we never miss her call It's.

[Ronnie]

Diane call Aaron mcnicholas she don't miss no Tricolus Jamie she has no less Namey you'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go we all.

[Ben]

Go For Hugo Hava Nagila Weber we.

[Ronnie]

Could all learn from Jennifer Kearns she's.

[Ben]

Our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sipped some scotch With Jessica Trotch Knock.

[Ronnie]

Knock, knocking on Katie Manock's door She's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock, Kristen the.

[Ben]

Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet With Lacey B.

[Ronnie]

Ringing the funk It's Leslie Plunkett she.

[Ben]

Gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisalino Fresh as a date daisy. It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.

[Ronnie]

Berg this is Living with Michelle Vivian.

[Ben]

I love a YA Olivia Williamson, Tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson she sure.

[Ronnie]

Is swell It's Raquel, yes we can. It's Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Eldridge the Bay Area and our super premium sponsors.

[Ben]

She's VVIP It's Amanda V Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin somebody get.

[Ronnie]

Us 10cc's of Betsy MD she's got a leg up It's Bethany we're taking.

[Ben]

The gold With Brenda Silva let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal don't get salty With Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland it's our queen It's.

[Ronnie]

Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Know your worth With Jason Kurt we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Junie, my Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo she gets an.

[Ben]

A It's Kelly B We love him.

[Ronnie]

Madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani the incredible.

[Ben]

Edible Matthew Sisters she eases our woes It's Melissa St. Rose Give him hell.

[Ronnie]

Ms. Noel she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a cannon Anthony let's take off with Tamla Plain.

[Ben]

She ain't no shrinking violet Cootar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey have you ever wondered how a circus performer could become the most powerful woman in the Byzantine Empire?

[Ronnie]

Even the Royals is a podcast from.

[Ben]

Wondery that pulls back the curtain on royal families from ancient empires to modern monarchs to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty.

[Ronnie]

Before she ruled an empire, Theodora was a teen sensation in circus shows featuring.

[Ben]

Dancing bears, burlesque performers and blood soaked chariot races. But when her star came crashing down, she clawed her way from rock bottom to the very top, using everything from comedy to espionage to get there.

[Ronnie]

Empress Theodora didn't just survive, she revolutionized.

[Ben]

Women'S rights across the Byzantine Empire, like changing laws to let women divorce men own property and bring abusive men to justice. For all her work in pioneering, she's remembered as the most powerful Byzantine Empress in history. Follow even the royals on the Wondery.

[Ronnie]

App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to even the royals.

[Ben]

Early and ad free by joining Wondery Plus.