#2789 Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens Episode #2789 – "Summer House 0908 Part One: Soft Launch"

Introduction

In episode #2789 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the latest installment of Bravo's Summer House, specifically focusing on episode "Soft Launch" (0908 Part One). Released on April 3, 2025, this episode marks a significant shift in the show's setting and character dynamics. Ben and Ronnie provide a comprehensive analysis, blending humor with sharp critiques as they dissect the episode's key moments, character developments, and overarching themes.

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Overview of "Soft Launch"

Summer House Season 9, Episode 08 introduces a unique twist by moving most of the action outside the traditional Hamptons setting. This "field trip" style episode places the cast in New Jersey, deviating from their usual luxury vacation home environment. Ben and Ronnie appreciate this change, noting it feels like "going on vacation from the vacation home" (03:21).

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Key Storylines and Analysis

1. Emeril’s Encounters and Incestuous Relationships

   Emeril's storyline continues to be a focal point of controversy. In this episode, Emeril is depicted as having a tangled web of relationships within his family, leading to uncomfortable situations:

   "Emeril comes outside and just like, hey, hey, how's your Johnson? He's like, never been better." (05:41)

   Ben and Ronnie critique Emeril's lack of meaningful interactions with other cast members, suggesting that his presence feels forced and lacks genuine connection:

   "Little does he realize that that family is so incestuous that he's basically having a foursome every time he's with already." (05:50)

   They further speculate on production choices, questioning why Emeril isn't more integrated into the show's main dynamics if there were supposed to be deeper relationships:

   "I don't think there are any meaningful interactions between Emeril and the house." (07:12)

2. Carl’s "Soft Launch" of Soft Bar

   A significant plot point revolves around Carl's ambitious venture, the Soft Bar—a non-alcoholic bar aimed at mindful consumption. Ben and Ronnie offer mixed reactions to Carl's initiative:

   "It's pretty mindful, y'all. We are being very mindful." (17:03)

   While acknowledging the niche market Carl is targeting—sober individuals or those preferring non-alcoholic options—they express skepticism about the feasibility and execution of his plan:

   "I feel like you're catering to a reduced... niche market... if I were sober, but I didn't live near this bar, I'd be like, oh, that's a cool idea, but I'm not going to schlep over to Soft Bar every single time I want to have, like, a night out." (21:06)

   They also mock the overly "mindful" branding Carl employs, suggesting it comes off as pretentious:

   "It's mindful. It's a mindful margarita, non-alk version. It's like, Carl, that's lemonade." (17:26)

3. Relationship Dynamics: Jesse, Lexi, and Craig

   The episode explores the evolving relationships among the cast members. Notably, Jesse's interactions with Lexi and Craig reveal underlying tensions and insecurities:

   "If we're meant to be, we'll figure it out." (40:37)

   Ben and Ronnie highlight Jesse's struggles with loyalty and trust, especially concerning his interactions with Craig and Emeril:

   "Emerald showing up on the motorcycle like a badass to this, like, this friends and family event for Soft at a nice house in New Jersey was just so ridiculous to me." (48:17)

   They also emphasize the awkwardness in Craig's attempts to bond with other members, portraying him as overbearing yet ineffective:

   "Carl's like, so when it comes to loyal, I don't even know what I'm looking for." (49:32)

4. Paige and Craig’s Tense Relationship

   The episode delves into Paige and Craig’s strained relationship, showcasing Paige's frustration with Craig's lack of support for her career and Craig's passive-aggressive behavior:

   "But it's also weird because that's his entire personality. But then he like gets really tight-lipped about it now." (06:26)

   Their interactions are laced with sarcasm and underlying resentment, reflecting a lack of genuine communication and understanding.

5. Bailey’s Return

   Bailey’s comeback adds a layer of intrigue as she interacts minimally but effectively, causing ripples among the cast:

   "I was sincerely happy to see her." (08:23)

   Ben and Ronnie appreciate Bailey's presence, noting her ability to stir up existing drama despite limited screen time.

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Hosts’ Commentary and Insights

Ben and Ronnie continuously blend their observations with humor, critiquing both the show's content and the characters' development. They express admiration for episodes that break the traditional setting, like the "field trip" in "Soft Launch," but remain critical of characters like Emeril and Carl for their perceived lack of depth and authenticity.

Their analysis often touches on broader themes such as:

• Authenticity vs. Production Choices: They question whether certain character portrayals are genuine or a result of production scripting.

• Niche Targeting: Ben and Ronnie debate the practicality of Carl’s Soft Bar, pondering its sustainability and appeal to a limited audience.

• Relationship Dynamics: They assess the true nature of relationships among cast members, often highlighting artificial tensions or forced alliances.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Emeril's Casual Sexual References:

   "Never been better." (05:41)

2. Carl’s Mindful Consumption Branding:

   "It's a mindful margarita, non-al version." (17:26)

3. Jesse’s Commitment Quandary:

   "If we're meant to be, we'll figure it out." (40:37)

4. Craig’s Passive-Aggressiveness:

   "I’m hungry. Why'd you give away your banana bread, Craig?" (31:14)

5. Carl’s Vision for Soft Bar:

   "It's about being non-alcoholic but still having cocktails." (16:40)

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Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Ben and Ronnie maintain a balance between entertaining their audience and providing insightful critiques of Summer House. They commend the show's willingness to experiment with new settings and storylines but remain skeptical about the execution, especially concerning character development and plot authenticity.

Their recurring theme revolves around the authenticity of relationships within the show, suggesting that many interactions feel forced or superficial. Additionally, they express doubts about the viability of niche ventures like Carl's Soft Bar, questioning whether the concept can sustain interest beyond its initial novelty.

Despite their critiques, Ben and Ronnie acknowledge moments of genuine emotion and character growth, such as Jesse's vulnerability and Bailey's impactful yet minimal presence. They conclude that while Summer House continues to deliver drama and intrigue, it occasionally falters in maintaining authentic character arcs and plausible storylines.

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Conclusion

Episode #2789 of Watch What Crappens offers listeners a detailed and humorous dissection of Summer House's "Soft Launch." Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam expertly navigate the show's intricate plotlines, providing both appreciation and critique where due. Their ability to balance mockery with genuine analysis makes for an engaging summary that both fans and newcomers can appreciate.

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Note: All timestamps reference the podcast's transcript for precise quotation.

Transcript

[Ben Mandelker]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Watch what Crappens ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts.

[Ronnie Karam]

Sasha hated sand, the way it stuck to things for weeks. So when Maddie shared a surf trip on Expedia Trip Planner, he hesitated. Then he added a hotel with a cliffside pool to the plan, and they both spent the week in the water. You were made to follow your whimsical we were made to help find a place on the beach with a pool and a waterfall and a soaking tub and, of course, a great shower. Expedia made to travel.

[Ben Mandelker]

Who cares what happens when there's so much.

[Ronnie Karam]

Feature who.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about crap on Bravo we love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today to celebrate a day of drinking soft, it's Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie. How's your non elk day going?

[Ronnie Karam]

Wow. Good Non elk so far.

[Ben Mandelker]

Whoa. We are here to talk about Summer House, which I loved last night. But before we do that, you know the drill. We've got some live shows coming up next week. We have Boston and Detroit and Chicago. And guess what? We are here to tell you what. We are going to recomp. So in Boston, big day, Honey Pies Boston, we're going to recap Real houses of Beverly Hills. And very excited because we haven't been able to recap that on a live show yet. So Beverly Hills next week in Boston, Detroit, we're going to do something really fun. We're going to do a classic recap of it's not about the Pasta. It's the episode Vanderbump Rules. And it's easy to remember because the episode is called It's not about the Pasta. That's from season six. And then on Saturday night in Chicago, we are going to do Summer House. So that's your. That's the homework. Okay, Beverly Hills, Beverly up rules. Summer House next week. And then in May, we cannot wait to make our big return to Texas. We have the big Austin show coming up on May 9, and then on May 10, it's Dallas. We have had some of the craziest, wildest times at our Texas shows, especially our Dallas shows. We have had wild times at our Dallas shows. So come join us. It'll be more fun than a night out at the roundup. Roundup. The Roundup. And then finally after that, we have Las Vegas, which will be fantastic. So go to watch crappins.com to get your tickets, won't you? And then also be sure to join us on Patreon. Patreon.com watch crappins, where we are doing White Lotus recaps. We got the big season finale this Sunday, so come listen to our recap next week of that. And of course, there's Crap on Demand where you can watch us not just listen to us. So that is, like, everything. And it was, like, so much and, like, so cool. And even if you do none of it, we still love you and we're still happy that you're here. So that's it?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, that's it. Okay, bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ronnie's like, yeah, yeah, you do that channeling page. Yeah, 1,000%. So I loved this episode of Summer House because this was a special episode where almost all of it took place outside the Hamptons, which I feel like we. It's. It's always. I. I love it when that happens. I don't know why. It's like going on vacation from the vacation home. I was very delighted by it.

[Ronnie Karam]

It was a good field trip episode, which I liked. I like a good field trip. And it was multiple field trips. Right. Because. Do we have.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Is this the one where we had the Carl opening?

[Ben Mandelker]

It was the Carl opening. We had a date in the city. We had kickball. Like, this episode had everything. It's like this is normally on Bravo shows. They have to stop everything to do a vacation somewhere. So that way, the. The cast is forced to be together. But since the cast is already on vacation, they. They have to invert it and have an episode once per season where they're all, like, in real life. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

They even got little Bailey in there.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, I know Bailey had a big comeback. I was so proud of her. She. I was afraid they wouldn't even give her a title, but they gave her a title. We had guest stars. I mean, this episode had it all. We had Jasmine and Silas from Summer House. Martha's. I'm Martha Stewart, Martha's Vineyard. We had Jason from Winter House. It was really like. It was a special episode.

[Ronnie Karam]

And they all went to Jersey, so that's friendship right there.

[Ben Mandelker]

They all went to Jer. They went to New Jersey to a house that looked like it would be in the Hamptons, like Summer House. That was the funny part, that was the most meta part of it, that they left their summer house to go to a fake summer house so Carl could promote his fake alcohol, as opposed to where. Where Kyle promotes his real alcohol in the real Hamptons. So it was Great. I loved everything about this.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, it was a good one. Okay, so we pick up where we left off, which is Emeril, Jesse and Amanda and Gabby by the pool the day after the foursome, the toe sucking foursome. So Jesse's like, you know, I went to there, I went into his room, he was having a threesome. You know, I could have had a foursome, but you know, Jessie is. What's her face. Lexi is better than foursomes. Wow. You should write fucking cards for Valentine's Day. That is so flattering. Could have had a foursome, but I didn't. You're better than a foursome.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Little does he realize that that family is so incestuous that he's basically having a foursome every time he's with already.

[Ronnie Karam]

Is dating a foursome already. Yeah. And that there's a mom and a sister and a dad.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Emerald comes outside and just like, hey, hey, how's your Johnson? He's like, never been better. Which is, I think this is one of the few questions that Emeril gets asked as usual. Again, Emeril just seems to like live in a weird alternate reality where he like shares the same space as everyone else, but I don't think anyone ever seems to realize he's there. This is like, except for this like little storyline with the toe sucking. But other than that, he just is like occup occupying space on a show without ever being referenced.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, for Emeril, it's just like a cheap room to fucking, you know, it's like, I'll share. I'll just share this house because it's like cheaper than getting a hotel room every night in the Hamptons, you know, so that's kind of his only thing. And he's. He's made his entire personality about fucking randos. So that's it, you know? But it's also weird because that's his entire personality. But then he like gets really tight lipped about it now. And I know that it's because Jesse's involved and he's not outing Jesse. But he also seems kind of annoyed because they're like, so, hey, you want to have a conversation and roll. Like we're gonna have a conversation. Do to have a conversation first or should we just start asking you about your dick? Like, what do you want? And he's like, okay, I mean, I guess we could just wait for that a second. He's kind of annoyed, like, oh, God, all these people do is ask me about. Because that's all you've got Yeah, I.

[Ben Mandelker]

Mean, we don't really see Emerl having any meaningful interactions with anyone in the house. And I don't know how much that's on the house. I don't know how much that's on him. I also don't know how much of that is on production because I actually feel like if production, like, I feel like, I feel like he's not having meaningful interactions. I think that if he were, production would have really amped up the fact that he had bonded with these guys, they become friends. And now here is a moment where Emeril kind of later on sort of like, you know, says talks about the toe sucking thing as kind of like a betrayal of friendship. But because there is no but there is no friendship and there's no stakes to this relationship. It just sort of like lands like, oh, okay, Emerald said it. So I think that's just my theory of saying that I don't think there are any meaningful interactions between Emerald and the house. And it's reflected in the fact that they can't even drum up any sort of interpersonal drama over the fact that he said he talked about this behind Jesse's back.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Cuz someone else gets the credit anyway for leaking it, which I think is like Bailey. Right? Or at least in the audience, Bailey did great work. Yeah, Bailey did a good job. I like Bailey. Bailey dissed everybody, called them old, left, and now still gets good, good drama scenes.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. I like when Bailey came back, I was like, oh my God, it's Bailey. And I was like, I don't know why I'm having this reaction. She did nothing in her one episode. But I was sincerely happy to see her.

[Ronnie Karam]

I know it's a reaction Danielle has never gotten. And how long has she done this show? But Danielle comes back for a cameo and we're like, oh, Jesus Christ. And Bailey, who's been there for five minutes, like, oh my God, look, it's Bailey.

[Ben Mandelker]

How cold. How cold was it that Danielle was not invited to? Well, maybe she was invited, but she wasn't there. And we all know she would show up to the non elk party, right? Like she'll show up to anything.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, yeah, she would have shown up. Wait, you're gonna have balloons there? So west is like, so what's your favorite food? Emerald. And he's like, smash burgers.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hey, nice. Hey, did you smash last night? How many people did you have sex with again?

[Ronnie Karam]

You know, I'm into fy burgers.

[Ben Mandelker]

So yeah, Emeralds. We, we'll just have to take Emerald's word for it. Because anytime we see Emeril's favorite food, it's just an arrow pointing to something off screen. We don't actually get to see it.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Jesse's like, nice. Did you smash last night? Come on, tell us how that went. Tell us how that went. And so he's quiet. He's like, I just had sex with the two guys, okay? And Emerald's like, dude, this guy was in the room. Like, why is he acting like he was not in the room? I mean, it seems like to him, like, nothing happened. So are we supposed to all pretend nothing happened because he was in the room right where the room went in someone's mouth? I still believe there was more than a toe suck for 37 minutes.

[Ben Mandelker]

We all. 37 minutes. Yeah. And I also think, to be fair, like, even if there wasn't, if you're, like, fresh in a new relationship and then you find out, like, this guy who's claiming to be nothing, he just only wants to be into you, then it turns out he went to, like, perv out to, like, just sit and watch a threesome happening. I don't know. I don't want. I don't. I just feel like that's just a. It's a red flag, obviously. So. Not that it's bad. Like, everyone has their kinks. It's fine. But I just feel like if he's saying one thing, if he's. If he's selling one kind of version of Jesse Solomon to, like, Lexi. But then the truth is that he's wants to hang out, get us, so be, like, have light interaction with a threesome. I don't know. I just think that he's. He is selling a bill of goods to Lexi. So Carl walks out. He's like, oh, good morning, guys. This is the latest I've ever slept in the house. Yeah. Because, like, I wake up at 7am and, like, jog Motor Bears Boot camp. So, like, the fact that it's like 805 in the morning. Whoa. I'm just like, party, Carl's back. Am I right?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. This morning, instead of boot camp, I chose booty cam, which is reference to the pirate party. Anybody? Anybody? Carl's back. Carl's back. So then Carl is. Kyle's going running with Guyliner, which I like. And so they're talking about running and all that stuff and how Carl had a girl there last night. Live. The Lemur. The Lemur. Obsessed magician. Magicians are dope. Check.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

From yesterday.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Future magician. Yeah. Magician enthusiast. Yeah. So talking about Lil and everything and what's like, yeah. So did that shake? You know, did she. She go home? That go well? Yeah, I want great love. Yeah. And. And Gabby's like, yeah. I mean, you guys were taking couples photos. He's like, y'all. Yeah, we took some. Some pics. And I was like, please, is there a filter on this camera? Can we get a soft focus, please?

[Ronnie Karam]

Really ace that one. Anybody carries cards?

[Ben Mandelker]

So she doesn't know magic, but she'll know it someday. Someday magic.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, now Craig and Paige are in their room, and Craig's like, hey, hey, chicken. Are you ready to go home and see our daughter, the cat? That's gonna be so fun. I'm sorry, but none of this was from your popsicle sperm, so please stop taking credit for my child.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And we see a picture of Daphne Pages cat. And the cat's, like, looking at the camera, like, ew, gross, Craig. So then. And also, meow. So then Paige is like, well, I gotta do my podcast at seven. He's like, okay, well, yeah, that's cool. And she's like, recently, it's just been like, I feel like Craig is attacking me, but, like, in, like, a really Southern way. Like, he' says really nice words, but I feel icky about myself inside, and I don't know why. And then we see a flashback of him being like, well, I hope that, you know, as your tour goes. Goes on, that, like, our. That we make our relationship a priority when we are on tour. Which is his way of saying, like, he's using, like, we and our. Like, we're both in it together. But he's really basically being like, don't forget about me. I'm a priority.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. They kind of did her dirty with this edit because it makes it look like she's complaining when he's just saying, I want to be a priority. But he also said, like, I mean, come on, like, you know, it's just not realistic to think up you. To think that you could keep up this work schedule when we're, like, committed or whatever he said. Or, like, when we. If we stay together, whatever. Which is why she's feeling attacked. So he's like, hey, should we, like, stop and eat on the way home? It's like, let's just try to get home. Okay? I. It's hard enough to be in a car with you without watching you eat like a Charleston, man.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, no, I'm not. I'm not saying we sit down. I just. I want to stop and get food somewhere. How about this. Why don't we go to a restaurant? You can sit down, and then I'll get in the car and I'll just go home and then I'll see you someday if anyone ever finds you.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, but, like, I can eat in the car. Craig, I don't have windshield wipers on the inside of a car.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay?

[Ronnie Karam]

I haven't invented that yet.

[Ben Mandelker]

We just cleaned the car. And so she says that, like, giggly squad is going on a 60 city tour, which, again, I don't understand how they are were able to do that. And she's like, I'm just like, nervous to do the actual job. And I feel like I can't even talk about it with Craig because he has no interest in, like, you know, talking about things in my career unless it pertains to him and our relationship. Which is funny because Craig really prides himself on being a career person, career oriented. And he gets very upset when Austin does not support his career. And it's funny that he then in turn has. Is so completely unsupportive and is so needy about Paige and her time and her career.

[Ronnie Karam]

This isn't fair. Look, I have always supported your career ending. So it's like, I can go make eggs. Do you want eggs? Do you have eggs? How many eggs do you have? Do they have follicles?

[Ben Mandelker]

No.

[Ronnie Karam]

Should I. Can we. Can we put some popsicles in your eggs?

[Ben Mandelker]

No, no, no.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's like, die. Die.

[Ben Mandelker]

No.

[Ronnie Karam]

Die. Please die. Die. So now we go to the group. They're back to the group at the pool. And Carl's like, oh, hey, like, so I know Carl and Matto, like, you're gonna be in Italy for a wedding, but I have a friends and family event for the soft bar. So we're trying to get a final headcount, you know, and if you guys can join, like, let me know. Like, maybe if your plans to Italy are just like, soft plans and hard plans, maybe you could come.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, maybe. Maybe you want to, like, ask if Andres wants to fly back before his wedding. Oh. To the soft launch. Because that's, I think, where they were. I think they went to Andrea. Lexi. Andrea and Lexi's wedding. Right. Which I think I thought, why wouldn't.

[Ronnie Karam]

They say that on the show? He was a cast member on the show. Why wouldn't they be like, yeah, it was a little Italy for this fabulous, gorgeous man's wedding.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, we all watch it on social media. So Amanda asked if. If he invited Lindsay. He's like, yeah, I did. Like, you know, I want to invite everybody. And like, I mean, that's what I'm like. Oh, you know, that's what I'm doing. I'm opening something that's like, really inclusive to everyone. And Lil gave me this great idea which is to make it especially inclusive to magicians. So free top hat when you come to the soft launch?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, like, of course Lindsay's invited. I totally want her to eat when she sees me serving non elk out of a van trunk.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah, she can see how difficult it is to pour a few different cheap, non alcoholic elements together and make a very nice, simple cocktail.

[Ronnie Karam]

So he tells us soft bar is a mindful consumption bar, which, I'm sorry, I'm never going to be okay with that. With your mindful consumption.

[Ben Mandelker]

If he had just said all the.

[Ronnie Karam]

Drinks are going to be served out of reusable bags from Whole Foods.

[Ben Mandelker]

So it's pretty mindful, y'all. So we're being very mindful. Like, we are thinking about high concept things like taking, you know, lemons and ice water and sugar and mixing together. And we're calling it a mindful. It's a mindful margarita, non al version. It's like, Carl, that's lemonade.

[Ronnie Karam]

So all of our mixologists are going to be doing sudoku as they shake the drinks. So it's pretty good. It won't pour until they complete a sudoku cover a sudoku problem. So we as mindful. This mindful.

[Ben Mandelker]

We've just. We just brought in Lil as one of our. We call them mindfulness ambassadors. She is literally a sorcerer's apprentice. She is learning magic as we speak and she is going to actually introduce some mind reading consumption. And so we're really excited about that.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, it's a thing of a cool cafe and a bar, but like no alcohol. Okay. I'm really excited. I'm nervous. I put a lot of work into this. I put over a hundred thousand dollars of my own money into this. Okay. So I just read this and read it. Which was funny. For everyone asking. Oh, no, this was from our Facebook page from Kelly. For everyone asking if soft bar is open. No, it is not. However, you can invest in it if you want. Laffy face. And it's a picture of soft bar. A new kind of space offering superior non alk functional coffee and cocktails. Or coffee does push ups. So plus experiences, like, you can come here and you can have experiences. It's crazy. It's like a park, but where alcohol should be served, but it's not being served. If that Makes any sense.

[Ben Mandelker]

Functional coffee. What is. You know what? I'm so glad he pioneered this because I've been realizing all this time I've been drinking dysfunctional coffee, and every time I drink it, it's like, winds up all over my cheeks and I'm like, why is. Why can't I drink this? Oh, it's dysfunctional.

[Ronnie Karam]

I just look at my own coffee and I'm like, you lazy son of a. Can you do anything right? Look, he's just laying there.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do you even know what your job is? You're supposed to hydrate me, and instead you're making me caffeinate and pee all the time. You are dysfunctional.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So Soft Bar has a video of Carl getting out of a van. As you can see in the screenshot right here, he's getting out of the front seat of the van and it says, welcome to soft bar. Soft 136, 600. That's $136,600 of $1.24 million of our max goal has been raised. And he put 100 of that in himself. So, you know, come on, guys, donate to Soft Bar. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Look, I mean, I'm not opposed to a non elk, you know, mocktail situation. There are like some amazing, amazing non elk and cocktails out there. I just feel like. I just. I don't know if I love all this branding. I just feel like you'd go to like a. I don't know.

[Ronnie Karam]

I feel like investors don't. Don't group invest on. On Facebook. $1.24 million. No, I'm not giving that to you, sir. Move it on. A lot of money. Listen, I've been soft for years, and I haven't gotten any money.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just feel like, you know, the thing, like, okay, so he's creating a space for people.

[Ronnie Karam]

How about I'll give you $100,000 to get me hard. Here's.

[Ben Mandelker]

Here's my. Here's my concern for Carl. Okay. I think despite all our mockery, I do think it's nice that he's creating a space for people who are sober or pregnant or whatever, who are not drinking, that they can come and still socialize and have. There's no. No alcohol, but they can still have cocktails or whatever. Mocktails, non alk. Etc. But the problem is this. It's like you're. Now you're catering to, like, a reduced. Like, you're catering to, like, a. More of a niche market. And on top of that, like, I feel like at the end of the day, the bars that I'm gonna go to are the ones that are close to me. So, like, yes, you're already taking a smaller segment of the population, and then you have to imagine they are geographically dispersed all throughout Manhattan in the city. So, like, if I were. If I were sober, but I didn't live near this bar, I'd be like, oh, that's a cool idea, but I'm not going to schlep over to soft bar every single time I want to have, like, a night out. So that's why I feel like there's something really kind of missing in this. I think it's. It's like. Like the gra. The gravitational pull. I just question it, and I just.

[Ronnie Karam]

Look, there's a. There's a market for this. A lot of people are clean and sober and would like a place like this. I think there are places like this. It's not the first world kind, you know, There are a lot of places that do well, you know, So I don't think the idea is necessarily terrible. It's just Carl. So I don't really trust much coming out of Carl because we've seen Carl's track record for 10 years, so. Or eight years, whatever it's been.

[Ben Mandelker]

So.

[Ronnie Karam]

So I mean, we know Carl's track record, so it's just easy to make fun of because it's like it's about to open when I raise $1.4 million off Facebook. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And I just also feel like, like, you know, What I think the entire couching of. Of this like sort of new age therapy language in it. Like, it's mindful. It's a mindful like consumption. Like, I hate that so much. I almost feel like if, like the whole idea, the germ of the idea was that if you're sober, you can finally go to a place, like go to a sports bar. And there's not like the pressure or the temptation or everything that comes the baggage of alcohol there, but you get to still have the experience for the non sober people. You get to have your own safe space for it. But like, but now you're catching it all this like mindfulness and d. It's like, well, I feel like I have to imagine that if I weren't drinking, I'd be like, can I just have a bar? Can I just have like my non Al bar? Do I have to have all this like stuff in here about mindful consumption? Does everything have to feel like Cafe Gratitude, you know? But I don't know. I'm not in those shoes, so I really can only speak to. To a.

[Ronnie Karam]

To a degree of sandals.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah, I'm not in those gladiator sandals. I just. I don't know.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, guys, the theme for my. My soft launch is gonna be soft garden party.

[Ben Mandelker]

So look, I'm no Barbara Corcoran, but if I were, I'm not sure I'd be asking for equity in this one.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So Sierra's like, oh, so we have a theme of this. He's like, yeah, I have a Hampton jitney from Seaport to the event in New Jersey. So there's the jitney. Get your diapers.

[Ben Mandelker]

Everyone's like, wait, so we have to go to the South Street Seaport and then go to New Jersey. Great.

[Ronnie Karam]

Those are two. Two places a New Yorker does not want to go. I'm telling you that right now. Both of those places, South Street Seaport.

[Ben Mandelker]

And New Jersey, that's like in LA being like, okay, so we're gonna meet at the Santa Monica Pier. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Meet by the Ferris wheel.

[Ben Mandelker]

A bus to the end of the mire.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

We'Re going to Riverside.

[Ronnie Karam]

Look, there's no guarantees with this, but I'd rather fall flat on my face going forwards in something I truly believe in and passionate about than selling dental equipment. So that's where I'm at. You know, I just. Part of me too. And we've kind of hounded on this soft idea a lot too. I think part of what bugs me is the like, capitalizing on sobriety so soon. I just feel like it's hard enough to be sober without making your whole Persona that. You know what I mean? I think you kind of need to give yourself a break. I think, like, if in sobriety, you know, there are certain rules like, that you learn in aa. Like if you. There's a certain amount of time where you have to just be alone, then there's a certain amount of time when you can get a plant. Listen, I watch a Sandra Bullock movie, so I know. And then after that, you can get, like, a pet, maybe. And then after you keep that alive for a while, then you can date, you know? So I think that there should be, like, some. Some kind of rules with. Just for yourself and your own sanity before you're investing one, one and a half million dollars into a business.

[Ben Mandelker]

My. Okay, here's actually another one of my concerns. And, you know, I actually, believe it or not, I do have a conscience. And I do kind of feel shitty about, like, just bashing this over and over again, because I do see that this is something that's like a carrot on stick for him. And it does seem really good that Carl finally has something that he's really, like, excited and working towards and, like, part of me that, like, as a human, I do, like, I. I do want to cheer her mom on and have. Have success, but I just feel like I know his track record, but I feel like there's certain things that. There's certain things in people's lives that happen that are very momentous and very important. It's like getting sober, having a child, getting into shape, things like that, where then it become. It's so exciting for them, as it should be, that it kind of becomes like their whole identity as sort of what you were saying. And so what happens is you see things like Shark Tank, where someone's like. Or just not even Shark Tank. You just see people who are like, I'm a new mother, and I just realized I'm gonna come up with a new. Here's a new thing that I'm gonna sell. And, like, people are always coming up with these new ideas, these entrepreneurial new ideas based off of their very new, fresh habit, not always realizing that that, like, it's. That the excitement is gonna wane a little bit, and then sort of normal life is gonna come in. And then that thing that you were so excited about that you wanted no longer has the same gravitational pull for you. And also that you're not the first one. You're not the first one. To do that. Like, you're not the first one to get into shape and realize, I want to start, you know, hawking this kind of thing for fitness or, like, I'm sober now. I want to open up a sober bar. Like, I guarantee. I know this sounds so obnoxious and cynical. I guaranteed Carl's not the first one. I mean, we talked about that. We. This is a concept that has happened before, but I also feel like he's probably not the first one who has thought of this, and there's probably a reason why this has not become, like, a big deal thing in America, you know, And. And if he's the one to prove it wrong and to break the mold and to break through, then all the power to him. But I just think that, like, sometimes people get really excited about profound changes in their lives, and then they think, like, I'm going to, like, innovate in this space. And the truth is, I think a lot of people have that feeling, and they don't realize that you're listening.

[Ronnie Karam]

The best idea is already out there. It's on a show called Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. They're called Sod Shops. And that's. That's what you should be doing, you know, you should be having, like, a party place. It's like a crazy shop that you get together, all your friends get together, you have fun, and that's it, you know? So he announces the garden party thing, and he's like, okay, guys, small talk was great, but it's time to go. So Kyle's in the kitchen now, and he's alone. He's. He's on the important storyline of the day. He's like, whoa, whoa. Who ain't whoa, whoa? Is that banana bread? What's the dealio?

[Ben Mandelker]

That's why he went jogging with full on guy liner on. Because he's like, I think I need some banana bread, and I don't want to wait. I am not. He's like, I am not going to waste any time wiping this mascara off because that's. He's like, I can't eat the banana bread until I have my morning run. And I'm not playing this run. I need to get into that banana bread.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So everybody packs up to go, and Paige is excited that they just get to leave their suitcases at the top of the stairs because men will take them down for them. And then Craig is like, hey, you want to switch hats? Okay, I'm going to switch hats with you, Jesse. Okay. And then I'll have Paige bring you this one next weekend. And Jesse's like, yeah, Craig's the kind of guy who's going to give you the hat off his goddamn head.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's why he's my number one priority. He's like, wait, are you guys beefing? He's like, no. Anytime Craig tries to beef, I just, like, make it a joke, like. And he's like, oh, is everything a joke to you, Paige? And I say, yes. That's why I have a career out of it. He's like, I never said that.

[Ronnie Karam]

I even dated joke. It's crazy. So she, like, tries to make light of it, but she goes, by the way, Jesse, is Craig your number one priority? Just want to make sure before we get on the road there. He's like, oh, could me. Could be. So then in the kitchen, Craig is saying bye to Kymanta, and Kyle's like, dude, I'm just eating your banana bread. Fucking mind blowing. It's fucking mind blowing. Have you considered that maybe we could put this out with lover boy and you could be a spokesperson for it? Sorry, I'm already talking to a banana bread company, so. Dude, give me a chance. Give me a fucking chance, bro.

[Ben Mandelker]

Where has all the banana bread gone? Whoa. Just wanted to close that Paula Cole loop that you opened up before.

[Ronnie Karam]

So I'm listening to a lot of Cole trying to support Amanda.

[Ben Mandelker]

She only has two songs, but they both apply very well to banana bread.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Craig's like, why don't you take the banana bread home? It's a nice loaf. Then he's going to get in the car and be like, I'm hungry. Why'd you give away your banana bread, Craig?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Craig is the one who wants lunch. Take your banana bread. Where did the banana bread even come from? Did he. Did he buy it? Did he make it? What's happened to know the backstory? Just a ra.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's just a Southern thing to bring. Like, hey, guys, I just came from the south, brought some banana bread.

[Ben Mandelker]

So kind of.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm a big banana bread maker over here, so I respect anybody bringing in a loaf of banana bread, because that's one thing I can do. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

I went on a big banana bro. It's a banana. I'm a banana bro. I want a big banana loaf. Journey. I think it was last year, and I made several of them. And I now believe I have found the recipe that everyone should use. And if you are interested, then go check out my.

[Ronnie Karam]

Do you have any of mine at Christmas?

[Ben Mandelker]

No.

[Ronnie Karam]

God damn it.

[Ben Mandelker]

I didn't know there Was banana bread.

[Ronnie Karam]

Cooked, like 20 things. Okay. I have banana bread straight from the oven. God damn it. So I'll have to make you some for when you come to Texas to visit.

[Ben Mandelker]

Please do.

[Ronnie Karam]

Welcome to the South. Here's some banana breads. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. We'll hand it out to the audience. Banana bread for everyone.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay, so then Sierra and Jesse are hugging by the car, and Jesse's like, I could really get used to hugging you. God, 10. You're 10. She's. Yeah, don't get used to it because, yeah, it was great hugging on you this weekend. God. Still loved it. Loved hanging with you, Sierra.

[Ben Mandelker]

So fun. So Paige hugs Amanda and tells her to have so much fun. And then have fun at the wedding.

[Ronnie Karam]

Of the train I missed.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Have fun with the male model that does nothing but actually, like, love on and adore the women that are in his life.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, enjoy. Enjoy my version of Gwyneth Paltrow's Sliding Doors where you get the good. The good part of the movie. Okay. I'll be driving home with a loafless Craig.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I'm so excited. And. And what's the name of the guy that she was rumored to be dating? Was he, like, part of Barstool Sports or something like that?

[Ronnie Karam]

Joe Bonino. Whoa.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, don't tell Margaret. Joseph. You know what? I don't care. He can show. I can share a joke. She'll. She'll spiff him up. Okay. Because, you know, he loves that seafoam polo. I'm like, joe, put on a better shirt. You know, I need Pedro's help around here with him.

[Ronnie Karam]

I forget the guy's name already.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, his name is so what? Who cares? So now we're in New York City, and my favorite thing, we see flashes of people doing work. And so we see west at work over a complex, and he's like, okay, everyone, I'm downloading you guys on this thing on Tuesday. It's called Bucket List Challenge, and it's basically like, asking people questions about the United States and geography. I'm like, what does that to do with the bucket list?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, that's not what a bucket list is. The bucket list is like what you do before you die, you know? Right. Isn't that like, I'm about to die? It's like that Danny Glover movie where he's like, I'm about to die. So I'm going to do the things on my bucket list. I'm going to jump out of a plane.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So then this girl goes, not married. Oh, my God.

[Ronnie Karam]

Hey, How'd you get into my movie? Sorry.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, is this things that will make you puke in a bucket? Okay, Craig.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm sorry I had to break up with you. Craig. It was on my bucket list playing Danny Glover.

[Ben Mandelker]

So this girl goes, oh, my God, Wes, you've been to, like, all the states, so this is perfect for you. Oh, so apparently you can't ask geographical questions about the states unless you've been to all of them.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And he's like, yes. That's why it's a good fit. It's a good pitch. Really good pitch.

[Ben Mandelker]

Good fit, you know, Good fit for me because I know what it's like to drive on a highway through Iowa. So then we have Carl working on softball. He's on. He's doing a. A meeting. And he's like, so business, business, business. Just want to talk to through our friends and family. That. So you guys need some questions or answers on ice, right? The guy's like, yeah, before the call. Before. Before I call the ice guy, I just need some measurements because he has a custom ice so it would fit perfectly into our glasses. Who knew ice was so complex?

[Ronnie Karam]

That's why your business is costing $1.4 million, girl. Get measure. A solo cup. You know what I mean? It's an outdoor party in Jersey. What the kind of glass do you need?

[Ben Mandelker]

I know.

[Ronnie Karam]

Measurements for your eyes. The out of here.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hexagonal ice only. So now we have Lexi sitting at a table on a skyscraper somewhere, and she's like, nobody in the house, actually. Okay. This is a serious thing that she says. But she introduces it as if she is, like, about to announce that she got, like, a movie role. She goes, nobody in the house actually knows this, but my grandma's not doing well right now. I was like, oh, okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

So I went to Canada. I wanted to rally. Huge secret. Huge. I'm trusting it with you, America. So Jesse comes up and he's like, hi, Lexi Wood, is that you? Wow, looks. It's Lexi Wood. It's like, oh, my God. Hi. You got me flowers? Wow. Well, I got them for your mom, so I had to get them for you, too. Got your dad a ring has been asking for and your sister. Nice. A nice boop. So flowers are the least I can do.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lexi is like, okay. And then, like, her sister and her mom show up and, like, receive the flowers. Thank you so much. These are wonderful. Her sister smells them. Her sister smells them. Lexi's like, they smell so good, don't they? Just getting reports, getting notes from her sister. On how they smell.

[Ronnie Karam]

My sister got lipstick all over the flowers. Sorry. I really only told Jesse because I tried trust him and because he's become my person. Nobody else can know that my grandma's sick. Nobody. I'm not like Little Red Riding Hood, okay? I'm not just, like, skipping through the forest telling everybody I'm going to my grandma's house. Nobody can know.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm excited and scared. So then there's thunder, and Lexi's like.

[Ronnie Karam]

I think it's gonna rain, but that's okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, yeah, well, if we get struck by lightning, oh, my God.

[Ronnie Karam]

Anyway, here's something so funny.

[Ben Mandelker]

My great grandfather was struck by, I think, like, twice.

[Ronnie Karam]

I've literally never told anybody that before.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is, like, crazy, but you're, like, my person, and I just, like, have to tell you this.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Jess is like, I'll protect you from the lightning. My dick. So he puts his arm up, like that's gonna do anything. And she's like, okay, wait. Like, so Carl's thing. I had to text him and be like, I couldn't go. And he said he was gonna, like, save me a gift bag. So that's, like, really sweet. And he's like, oh, I think you're gonna want a hoodie for that. Because, like, it's about to rain a.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hundred percent, so now it's time to sprinkle. And she's like, so, like, tell me about this weekend. Like, you had the party? And he's like, yeah, we had Craigie Beast in town. And I'm just, like, trying to remember what else happened. Hold on. Let me just flag down waitress Beast. Hey, waitress Beasts. Can I get another cocktail? Thanks so much. Oh, man.

[Ronnie Karam]

Why are you tapping your toe?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, just got the telltale toe going on right now. So then they decide to move inside, and he tells us. I mean, listen, given what she just told me about how jealous she can be and whatever, like, I just don't want to make a big deal out of nothing. Like, the toe tuck thing was, like, not sexual, and it's, like, a complete joke. And, like, if I was, like, trying to have a foursome, like, first of all, I wouldn't have been. Wouldn't have been, like, with Emerald. Okay? Like, I think it's safe to say it's just, like, not something I want to be a thing. I mean, I'll do it, but I just don't want it to be a thing. You know? Beggars can't be choosers. You know what? You may not have wanted Your force to be with Emerald. But that's what. That's what you got. So you take it. And that's. You know, your logic does not work. Yeah, exactly.

[Ronnie Karam]

Take it and your whole, like, oh, no gay. Hey, no gay here. Okay, bro. Here. Yeah, no homo. Thank you. I knew that didn't sound right. No homo. No homo, bro. No homo. Here comes one right now. So Lexi asks how the rest of the week is sensing something's wrong. And he's like, well, you know, I can tell you this, like, every night we're not together is, like, a super shitty night. I can. I can fraud you that right now, you know? So, you know, like, you just, like, you make me feel so great. You know, you make my toes curl, and in a good way. And I just wanted to tell you, you know, I think I'm ready to be your boyfriend. You want to be Lexi Wood? You want to go steady? You want to go steady with Jesse? Want to steady with Jesse Solomon? Oh, my God, you're so sad. So you're basically going to come do this, so she can't be mad at you for getting your toe sucked. And then you can say, but we weren't together. We weren't going steady until I asked you when it was raining, and I'd already had my toe sucked, so I technically didn't do anything wrong. I mean, so clear. It's so.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Transparent. So of course she says yes. And she's like, I definitely knew it was coming, but I loved it because I'm, like, romantic. I'm, like, super open with him and.

[Ronnie Karam]

Like, super vulnerable with him.

[Ben Mandelker]

And, yes, I have, like, emotions for James Jesse, and, like, obviously, I'm, like, a little bit scared. But, like, when you're putting your trust into someone, I just think, like, if we're meant to be, we'll figure it out, and we'll be, oh, I'm Lexi Wood. You can do it.

[Ronnie Karam]

As Sabrina Carpenter would say, don't make me look stupid.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now we go to New Jersey hall, and it's gonna be Carl's big soft bar event. And so we meet some of the people on his team and everything. And this one guy, Richie, is like, hey, you want to drink? He's like, y'all, what's, like, the calming one? He's like, oh, the high road. Yeah, let's do the high road. Which, by the way, you know, which one's the calming one? Because it's your. It's your cocktail.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, but that's. He doesn't. That's the thing about crime. But then he doesn't what's even going on? That's so him.

[Ben Mandelker]

I can't tell. He's either doing like a really cheesy commercial or he's again expressing his ineptitude at being than someone who sells cocktails.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I don't think he knows. I think he's like, yeah, also call me one. Totally into this, Totally into this stuff that I have nothing to do with.

[Ben Mandelker]

But also, by the way, it's so passive aggressive. The calming one is called the high road. That's got to be a barb towards Lindsay, right? I'm just gonna take the high road. I'm just gonna stay calm and take the high road. So, yeah. The goal today is softball Friends and family event is to announce the brand official. If I hear Carl say friends and family one more time, I swear to God, I, I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna send someone over there to.

[Ronnie Karam]

Knock over all the tables he's specifying so he can have multiple opening events to get people into going. Right? Like, no, it's like business associates day. So all my friends need to come support me. And now it's like soft, soft opening day. Now it's like, the van just got new wheels day. So is that opening?

[Ben Mandelker]

So, so this guy's like, yeah, try this. It's passion fruit, chamomile wine, white peppercorns. Oh, delicious.

[Ronnie Karam]

Gross. Passion fruit and peppercorn. I'll take the low road. Okay. Is that where the diet coke is?

[Ben Mandelker]

You take the high road, and I'll take the low road.

[Ronnie Karam]

So as Sabrina Carpenter would say, I'll have espresso.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I should also say please. So Carl's like, sorry you had to complete it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Please, please, please. I love that song, actually. That's like, I know in a Carpenter jam, that song.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love that song.

[Ronnie Karam]

Please, please, please.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'll always think of Taylor crying on Love Island, USA when they played that song. And I'll always think of someone on Twitter when Kayla was crying over that song and they played that song. And the next day she got back with Aaron. And someone on Twitter said, NBCU is so mad that they paid all those thousands of royalties for that song only for them to get back together the next day. I always. That's just one of the smartest it's ever read.

[Ronnie Karam]

Please, please don't do me wrong.

[Ben Mandelker]

Give me a drink with non elk and some peppercorns in it. I one thing I like Sabrina Carpenter, but I still find it weird that her voice is so like, wispy, wispy, wispy. But then her talking voice is like, hi, I'm Sabrina Carpenter. I. I can't. I can't get over that.

[Ronnie Karam]

I was actually surprised because I listened to that podcast song Exploder, where they did that song, where they went over this song. Please, please, please. Which is why I like that song, because I heard it on that podcast and, you know, they. They play some of the just regular tracks without the whole thing being produced or whatever. And she has a beautiful voice. I was shocked.

[Ben Mandelker]

She does.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, I knew she could sing, but I didn't know so many singers. They just make that ethereal, you know, auto tuney reverb sound. And you don't know they can actually sing. You know, they just sound kind of like everybody else. You can actually sing. I was very impressed. You go, Sabrina, you knocked me over with a. Sabrina Carpenter would say feather. That's it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, you know, she's a Kraftins listener.

[Ronnie Karam]

Right, right, right.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, I'm just making that up. I just, like, I'm gonna start. I'm just putting it into the universe. Okay, so Carl is like. Pollicle is like, wait, I thought I was gonna be the one they were gonna talk about all episode.

[Ronnie Karam]

Please, please, please. Story.

[Ben Mandelker]

In many ways, Paula Cole walked so Sabrina Carpenter could run. Let's, let's. That is the theory I'm going to hatch, and I actually think it has some merit. So.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, no, look, Paula Cole sort of.

[Ben Mandelker]

Had that, like, country pop kind of vibe that please, please, please has.

[Ronnie Karam]

Think about it. Well, think about it. It. Okay, Paula Cole. I'll think about it.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is gonna be okay. I'm putting this on Instagram later. Did Paula Cole. Did Paula Cole have an influence on Sabrina Carpenter? PEOPLE CHIME IN.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right, so Carl's like, oh, guys, let me talk about my concept, okay? The vision. The concept to serve our drinks, to show what we're about, my friends and family only today, okay? And you know what? This connects on a deeper level. It's more than being non alcohol. It's about, like, I want to change, you know, not only my family cycle, the addiction, the illness, but I want to break the cycle for other people. Okay, well, that's a very nice concept, but I'm not paying 25 for passion fruit and chamomile. No, I'm not going to do it. I'm going to break the cycle of paying for stupid things for stupid people.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm going to break the cycle. I'm going to start a new cycle of buying chamomile tea at home and putting peppercorns in it at home. Like, this is. I can't stand this. Like, this is all. Well meaning. This is all. Sounds very nice and everything, but the truth is, it's like you're serving non elk drinks, but you're making it sound like over breaking the cycle. We're gonna change. Like, you're. You're making. You're almost like guilting us. Like, if we're against this, we're actually for keeping cycles going.

[Ronnie Karam]

Business. Like, just have a business, bro. Like, I don't need your guilt trip. And also, breaking the cycle shouldn't bring you money anyway. Just.

[Ben Mandelker]

Why does it connect on a deeper level?

[Ronnie Karam]

It doesn't. It's just. Stop it. Stop trying to sell me with your trauma. I'm not buying it, sir. Okay? I'm not buying it. So then Emerald, people start arriving, you know, and Lil's there. She's like, oh, my God, this is like. So this is like a park in Jersey. This is where lemurs would run. Just saying, pick a card, pick a card. Pick a guy. And then shows, I had a bunny in this hat. It was supposed to fold. I can't find it, but I still carry the hat around in my purse.

[Ben Mandelker]

Unfortunately, we're going to have to suspend all high road servings because there is a rabbit in the punch bowl. But he goes, thanks for coming.

[Ronnie Karam]

He tells her, thanks for coming. I love the outfit. And she goes, thank you. I made it. Don't look closely because there's safety pins everywhere. And the way that Carl looks at her when she says she made her outfit, he just kind of looks it up and down like. Like, oh, no, Lindsay's gonna see this. Like, got a vibe that he was like, yeah, I don't love that you're making your own clothes. What are you, Molly Ringwald in the Pretty in Pink?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Yeah. I loved when Emerald showed up because he showed up on. He like, drove to New Jersey on his motorcycle. He's like. I was like, really? You're. You're just gonna show up like the Fon in every single. Every single scene? Which I. The reason why I paused there is because I just remembered I saw the Fonz. Maybe that's why I just referenced the fonts. I saw Henry Winkler at the airport on Monday when I got off my plane, and he was wearing a bright green suit with like a yellow shirt. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. That's my little story. Anyway, I just love that Emerald showing up it's cool, but Emerald showing up on the motorcycle like a badass to this, like, this friends and family event for Soft at a nice house in New Jersey was just so ridiculous to me.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, it's a stink. You know, he's a motorcycle guy who a lot, you know, he's like, hey, guys. As I'm breaking my own family cycle of driving cars.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Carl's like, so when it comes to loyal, I don't even know what I'm looking for. Exactly. Oh, no shit. That's only been the story you've been saying for 10 years on this show. I just think that, like, after the previous relationship where I thought, like, that's the one for me and I was going to get married, like, you kind of got to, like, go back to the drawing board. Like, that's what you do. That's why you're at Carl 9.0, because you've been drawing on that board a lot.

[Ronnie Karam]

Wait a minute. Please tell me we're not getting another Carl. Oh, you know, like, things are really hard on me right now, and I'm not really ready to commit. So duh, Karl. We've heard it for nine years, brah. Which is, by the way. You're right. It's just funny that Carl thinks he's coming up with a fresh shtick when it's Carl Soft point zero. So I like this part when he's like, back to the drawing board. So, Lil, how was the bus? That's cold, bro. You literally have a van sitting right there.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know the girl. The girl that you like. You're gonna put her on the. The fake jitney. Really? You made her go south street seat? Jeez.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, I pulled out my cars at South Street Seaport, but I couldn't guess anybody's card. I got a couple of things thrown at my face, but I got him to stop when I said I made this dress. And they all went, oh. And then just kept walking. So that was fun.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Jesse and West arrive, and people are arriving, and of course, Jesse's like, so there's, like, no booze here whatsoever? Like, nope. So then Gabby is there, everyone's hugging, and Carl's like, hey, thanks for coming. She's like, yeah, it's New Jersey. He's like, yeah, I can't believe it. What's a girl from Westchester doing in New Jersey? Which is a question I often ask myself anytime I cross the state line.

[Ronnie Karam]

And she's like, yeah, everyone wants to know that. That. I'd like to know that too, actually. Yes. Well, we're here because it's friends and family day, so please try all the different bevies. You know, my first would be soft spritz. It's like spritzer, but the bubbles, like, it's been sitting out all day unopened. So it's soft. We believe in, like, really soft bubbles here, which means we forget to put lids back on things.

[Ben Mandelker]

So please enjoy the soft spritz. You mean seltzer water? You mean. You mean flavored seltzer? You know, like, things become a spritz when you add the spritz to it. So when you take the stuff out of the spritz, it just goes back to being what it was originally.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, excuse me.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is mindful. This is a mindful spritz.

[Ronnie Karam]

Emerald, you're gonna have a drink. Be sure to get it with benefits. Okay. Yeah, that's how I get everything broke. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

You may have heard of lacroix, but since this is Mindful, it's called La Cry. Think about it.

[Ronnie Karam]

La Soft. So all these beverages come with, like, a mushroom benefit. Like, you know, like, if you want it.

[Ben Mandelker]

If you want it, you could, like.

[Ronnie Karam]

Benefit from a mushroom. So, like, who can Isn't.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right, that is implying there's, like, a micro dose element to this, isn't that? I don't know. Listen, I don't know. I don't know what the rules are.

[Ronnie Karam]

And some people are just so sober from alcohol, some people are sober from coke. You know, there's different kinds of sobriety. But now that's a selling point, though. So if you're gonna do magic mushroom infused drinks and cannabis infused drinks, now there's a bar. You know what I mean? Because you can still go get up.

[Ben Mandelker]

Exactly.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't know that everybody would consider that sobriety.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, that's what. So now. Now it all makes sense. Now I know why it's quote, unquote, mindful. The mindful is just, you know, fun wording for saying you can do shrimps. Yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

You're doing something at the sobriety soft bar. That would be great. So he's like, y'all. It's super uplifting. So then Carl's mom, Sharon is here. Enably Sharon is here, and she's like, hang on, I want to talk to the boys. Hey, boys. Hey, Weston. Jesse. Oh, God, it's so good to see you. You know, Carl's being so, so strong, isn't he? After all that crap and the breakup that. That Lindsay did to him, you know, and she was mean to Me too. You know, boys, she was real mean to me too. You know what, Sharon? Off. Like, honestly, like, seriously. Sure not cool either. I don't think it's. I don't think it's very nice how you conspired with your son on camera to gaslight somebody when he was being an and ready to break up with her for months. And then you tried to gas. Make it sound like he's. She's abusive and all this other crap. Sharon.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, I'm gonna. I'm.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sharon. A pass. She's a mother. She's allowed to. She's allowed to be mad at her daughter in law or future daughter in law. I think that's actually a right of passage. I think that you were.

[Ronnie Karam]

Of course she has the right, but I have a right to tell her to off too.

[Ben Mandelker]

Not Sharon. Sharon.

[Ronnie Karam]

Can off there taking that. Get out of here with that. Your son never does anything wrong. Did you see the season, Sharon? Have you seen the past nine seasons, Sharon, please.

[Ben Mandelker]

I was sad because Sharon didn't get to do her signature move, which is that she pretends to do a little curtsy, which goes. She loves to do that. So yeah, she's like, yeah, she was mean to me too. But like, by the way, none of this would like you. You watch the show. Clearly you all know what Lindsay's about. You knew she was gonna be mean to you. I will say this. I will. Like, you can't be surprised that Lindsay could be mean to you. Lindsay, that's her thing. You. You should have told your son a long time ago, like, don't date this girl because she's going to be mean to you and she's gonna be mean to me.

[Ronnie Karam]

Have a little class. You know, you're showing up on. On your son's show just like, why do you. Why is your first thing to be like what a Lindsay is, you know? Come on, man. Your son's already taken the cross, okay? There's no room on the cross for you, Sharon. Okay? You're gonna have to wait for a new carpenter to show up out of here.

[Ben Mandelker]

Here. Leave Sabrina out of this.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Sabrina would say, on my way. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Bailey shows up, which is exciting, and she meets people and that's. We're happy for Bailey to be back in the mix. And then Carl and Emerald say hi, and Carl's wearing white pants. And Sierra's like, oh, hey, Carl, these are my favorite pants yet. Which is. I think she was trolling him. I think he was like, oh, thanks. I thought you Liked them.

[Ronnie Karam]

I kind of like the new fashion of the guys that they're all kind of in. The Great Gatsby. It's like the 1920s are back. They're all wearing like really, really, like flowy, silky, high waisted pants. Like they're in anything goes. I kind of like it. It's working for me. So, like white pants, but they're like high waisted. So Carl 10.0. Here we go.

[Ben Mandelker]

The great Carl's bear, Daisy. It's too much for me Dais right now. So, Sierra, Carl would never be the Great Gatsby. Poor Carl. He'd be like, hey, so about that bootlegging. I'm just not sure there's the right moment for me yet. Like, oh, God, yeah, he's.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's a great depression.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, there's a green light across the bay. And it's just like a lot right now. So Carl is like, he's like, you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Hugged me while you're wearing sequins. I need it to be a little softer. Please be a little softer. Can we do less flapping and more like petting? That would be nice.

[Ben Mandelker]

So I had a big party to, to invite Lil over because I love her so much. So Carl is. Carl is basically he thanks Bailey for coming. And. And he goes up to Jesse and he's like. I'm like, there's something about, like Carl trying to be like, cool and down with like Jesse and West that always lands so inauthentically for me. And it's always hilarious.

[Ronnie Karam]

Like, hey, jealousy.

[Ben Mandelker]

What would Jesse Sullivan do? Right? Like, he's veering into that kind of like, dad territory. Like a dad is trying to be cool.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Tickles me.

[Ronnie Karam]

God. If you kids want to ride in the van, I'll put a new driver sticker on the back. Well, let's do it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cool dad.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm a cool dad. So then, Paige, then we find out what this cast really thinks, because they're all there to support Carl, but even this cast. So we expect it from Paige.

[Ben Mandelker]

Right?

[Ronnie Karam]

But everyone else is like, damn. So Paige is like, I'm so proud of Carl. I'm so happy for him. I mean, it seems like he's just so passionate, you know? Now is this an idea that people can say, this is a bad idea. This idea is never gonna work. Is this a complete hair brain idea that he doesn't have money or skill to finish?

[Ben Mandelker]

Sure.

[Ronnie Karam]

But it makes him happy, so I'm fine with it.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Jesse's like, yeah, I'm a Carl fan. I just want to see him happy. Carl Beast and West is like, you know, as human beings, we all need to work to work towards things, to work towards and to build. And I think it's super healthy. The implication being like shitty idea, but cool that he has something that he is occupying his time, you know? Right.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then the real thoughts, Jesse's like, oh, you know, I think that any VAR concept is a high risk endeavor, like especially when your highest margin product is alcohol. And Wes, like, yeah, I don't fully under grasp, I don't really grasp what the long term goal is, but I'll support Carl no matter what.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, what can people say? Oh, it's a bad idea. Oh, it'll never work. Sure. Do they say it often? Sure. Do people say, wow, good luck blowing away a hundred thousand dollars? Of course they do. But you know what? At least he loves it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, yeah. You know, even if this place doesn't make a fucking dollar, that's Carl. Right? So I just want Carl to be happy. I mean, if he's sitting on a bus bench, sleeping on a bus bench, pretending he's watching TV from a bus bench, you know, good for him. Good for you, bro.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know what? If we can support Kyle being a DJ and by extension Craig sewing a goddamn pillow, which is just a square and takes about five minutes to do, then we can support Carl's bar with no alcohol. Okay. You know, we all have things, you know, it's important to have comedy in our lives.

[Ronnie Karam]

Listen, we can say what we want about Kyle being a dj, but Kyle actually has the audience for it and he's promoting his drinks at the same time. So Kyle's booking DJ gigs, which of course people will just go, listen to you dj, you know, why not? They get a picture with you, all that stuff and then plus they'll buy your lover boy. So his is actually kind of smart. Even though, like he's already put his action.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, he's already put into. He took classes, he went, and it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Didn'T cost a million dollars, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, am I mortified for anyone who goes to a Kyle Cook DJ Kyle Cook concert? Yes. But like, will we still invite Kyle.

[Ronnie Karam]

Cook to do a set before one of our live shows one day? You bet. Bet you're.

[Ben Mandelker]

You bet a hole. Okay, would I mock anyone who goes to a double header of DJ Maddie Reese and Kyle Cook? Yes. Would I be that person? Quite possibly. I might be the one who would attend that show.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'd go, yeah, I want to go. I want to check them out.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'll go.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay. So Sierra and Paige are on the phone with Lindsay and they're like, oh my God, did you get invited to this event, old lady? I mean has. Has the snail mail arrived? I mean, I'm assuming that you're still. Still don't have computer. So did the snowmel arrive in time for you to get the invitation? Did.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, did you. Did you receive your invitation@miss Lindsay Hubbard prodigy.net and she's like, I'm busy.

[Ronnie Karam]

I have to paint the walls and watch them dry.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, you're Erica Janing it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Carl's like, you know, I'm just, you know. Sierra, I just want to tell you a little bit more about this concept which is that like we want pregnant women to come to the SO too. And like one of these days I'll get a pregnant woman to try some of these drinks. Although what is funny is that we find out later on that all this or all the snacks and hors d'oeuvres served at the event were food is food that pregnant women could not eat at all. Which is the most. Like, this is why it's good to have people from different backgrounds in your workplace to. Because you know, sometimes we get into our tunnel vision. I'm just gonna say just put that out.

[Ronnie Karam]

I think at this point he's just making a Lindsay gig. Lindsay dig. Right, Right. He's like, well, one day I hope we can get a pregnant lady here. I'll be honest.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, but he's. No, it's a dig. But he also is trying to make that a selling point because he's like gotta open up the umbrella as much as possible to get everyone into here. Big ten event hall, friends and family.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Guess where pregnant women drink. Home. Okay. I asked my mom. Hello there. This is a two part recap. Okay. This the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ronnie Karam]

It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondry. Com Survey.