#2801 Top Chef S22E5 Part Two: Underpassed Up

Summary

Summary of "Watch What Crappens" Podcast - Episode #2801: Top Chef S22E5 Part Two: Underpassed Up

Release Date: April 15, 2025

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Introduction

In episode #2801 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive deep into the thrilling conclusions of Top Chef Season 22, Episode 5, titled "Underpassed Up." This episode serves as a comprehensive recap and analysis of the intense culinary battles, standout performances, and dramatic eliminations that unfolded in this pivotal episode of the competition.

Episode Breakdown

1. Contestants and Their Creations

• Tristan and Bailey: Grilled Octopus with Kalamata Olive and Greek Honey Caramel

  • Description: Tristan introduces a sophisticated dish featuring grilled octopus glazed with a unique combination of Kalamata olives and Greek honey caramel. The intent is to achieve a perfect browning and a harmonious blend of flavors.

  • Notable Quote:

    • [04:03] Ronnie: “Honey. I mean, it's fire touched, it's flame touched. So that's all you needed to say.”

• Cat and Corwin: Salt Cod Croquette

  • Description: This duo attempts a fusion dish inspired by baklava, incorporating salt cod into their croquettes. However, the execution falls short, leading to critical feedback from the judges.

  • Notable Quote:

    • [09:00] Gail: "This tastes like garbage."

• Vinnie and Lana: Karma Sutra Chicken

  • Description: Vinnie presents a bold dish named "Karma Sutra" chicken, combining multiple sauces, including a controversial curry hollandaise. The complexity of flavors becomes a point of contention.

  • Notable Quote:

    • [16:39] Gail: “Making. Yeah, I whipped this chicken thigh with my dick a few times, and that's how we did it.”

• Shuai and Henry: Rose Caldo with Roasted Pork Curry

  • Description: Featuring a delicate balance of flavors, this dish includes roasted pork curry complemented by fermented pickles. The judges find it well-executed with minor flaws.

  • Outcome: Their balanced approach keeps them safe from elimination.

2. Judging and Feedback

The judges, including seasoned professionals like Paola and Massimo, provide critical insights into each dish's strengths and weaknesses.

• Positive Feedback: Tristan and Bailey's grilled octopus impresses the judges with its innovative glaze and perfect execution, earning them immunity from elimination.

• Constructive Criticism:

  • Cat and Corwin receive harsh feedback for their salt cod croquette, with criticisms focusing on the dish's execution and flavor balance.
  • Vinnie and Lana's Karma Sutra Chicken, while creative, is deemed overcomplicated due to the excessive use of sauces, leading to their elimination.

• Notable Quotes:

  • [16:39] Ronnie: “All blue team Bailey and Tristan and purple team Katiana. Caesar, you had our favorite dishes of the day.”
  • [12:48] Gail: “Come a little harder. That's something that never happened in Gail's love life. Am I right, everyone?”

3. Elimination Moments

The episode culminates in a dramatic double elimination:

• Cat and Corwin: Struggle with the salt cod croquette leads to their departure from the competition.

• Vinnie and Lana: Despite their creative efforts, the overuse of sauces in their Karma Sutra Chicken results in their elimination.

Quotes Highlighting Elimination:

• [35:32] Ronnie: “Cat and Corwin and Vinnie and Lana are the bottom teams.”

• [47:53] Gail: “The dish that Cat and Corwin made today was not an issue of conception. It was execution of croquette.”

Hosts’ Commentary and Insights

Throughout the recap, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam infuse their unique humor and candid observations:

• Humorous Anecdotes: The hosts share exaggerated and humorous stories, such as Gail recounting her husband's mishap with the kitchen, adding a light-hearted tone to the discussion.

• Critique of Judges and Hosts: They express mixed feelings about the judging panel, particularly highlighting a desire for more dynamic personalities on the show.

  • Notable Insight:
    • [44:07] Ronnie: “I need someone like Sarah… I need her.”

• Emphasis on Authenticity: The discussion underscores the importance of maintaining culinary authenticity rather than overcomplicating dishes to impress judges.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• [04:33] Ronnie: “That sounds delicious.”

• [09:53] Ronnie: “That's a bad thing. Like, are you a cheater? You cheat on your wife?”

• [16:52] Ronnie: “Why are you doing all these sauces and then adding a big old gloppy hollandaise on top of no?”

• [33:53] Gail: “The beef was just marinated and seared. I love all those little components. They were just, like, so much texture, was so playful.”

Conclusion

Episode #2801 of Watch What Crappens offers an engaging and entertaining recap of a pivotal installment of Top Chef. Through detailed discussions of contestants' dishes, judges' feedback, and the emotional highs and lows leading to a double elimination, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam provide both insightful analysis and comedic relief. Their candid commentary not only highlights the competitive nature of the show but also critiques areas where the competition could benefit from more dynamic personalities. For fans of Top Chef and Bravo’s culinary competitions, this episode delivers a thorough and enjoyable overview of the latest challenges and outcomes.

Final Remarks

Watch What Crappens continues to blend humor with comprehensive recaps, making it a must-listen for enthusiasts eager to stay updated on their favorite Bravo shows. This episode reinforces the podcast's commitment to providing both entertainment and insightful commentary, ensuring listeners are well-informed and thoroughly entertained.

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Transcript

[Ronnie]

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[Gail]

There'S so much that happens. Hi, everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode. So, and then Tristan is like, well, my little touch to this dish is kalamata olive and Greek honey caramel. And I'm going to use it kind of like a barbecue sauce. And it will actually create an accelerant, a great browning of the octopus so that way it can be kissed by the flame and touched the topanade.

[Ronnie]

So Lana's like, oh, my God. We. What'd you say?

[Gail]

I said, by the way, it sounds delicious.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, honey. I mean, it's fire touched, it's flame touched. So that's all you needed to say. As someone who is also flame touched, I love it. So Lana loves that they've made 500 sauces, including Hollandaise. She's like, I finally get it now. Karma sutra, right, guys? So Massimo apologizes to Paula for being a dick because their dish came out perfect. And he goes, but thank God I handled the stress well. All right. She's like, die tiny.

[Gail]

He's like, you are rude. So 1. Hey, chefs, ghost Padma here to tell you one minute left. Stop being stupid. So now everyone, all the, all the tasters, all the guests are pouring into the underpass. And Corwin is talking about like, hey, you know what? They're all walking up. We've got fritters coming out of the fryer. So I have enough, I've said enough to start feeding people. And I just have to keep the train moving here because if it's a rocky starter, could tank our service. They're all very concerned about the service, and they keep setting it up like Someone's gonna get in the weeds. Like, I've got so many garnishes. I got so many condiments. Everything's taking a while. Not a single one of these people had a line. And I was almost sad because that's like, that's the tradition with these kind of events, is that someone gets in the weeds, and then there's like a long line. And then Tom stands in the line, goes, huh. Well, it seems to be taking a while to get some service around here. Really having some issues with this line. There's a long line. I don't know what's taking so long, but we didn't get that. I was really upset.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Soon the judges come in and they're like, welcome to the bedway, everybody. And Gail's like, oh, I've been here before. I think it's really awesome. I think they did an amazing job with otherwise unused space. Right. I mean, today, hopefully, there's great food. I mean, we're under a freeway, guys. This is amazing.

[Gail]

Wow. What a surprise. Gail's been here. Do you need to tell us that? We see bite marks all over the pylons.

[Ronnie]

So Sarah's here. Who's my favorite? She's one of my all time favorites on the show. I love Sarah. Sarah's like, oh, my God. Love that you put him in the kitchen. You know, so many times we go somewhere, we eat something, we're like, here's the food. Farted out the food. But, you know, to go actually taste the food. That's interesting. You taste it, you cook it, you knew all the things.

[Gail]

You know, One time my husband was working the line, and then, you know, fortunately, he brought an axe into the kitchen and accidentally chopped his leg off. So we had to take him to the emergency room. But when we got back, turned out he never turned off his pan. And whatever was cooking in that pan was absolutely delicious. You ever have spinach that's cooked out an open flame for three hours? Oh, my God. Wonderful. And we see it.

[Ronnie]

I have a dream. I dream one day of making a beaver soup. So I want to just, like, kill a beaver. Who does that? So I went over to the Beaver's Dam. I ate dinner with his family. I said, you're all big, hairy, bucktooth. Thanks for having me. Killed the mom, took her home, made her into a stew. Boom. One of Michelin.

[Gail]

You know, I was like, you know what I'm gonna do? I want to show them a piece of home. So I'm gonna make some burgoo. But someone Misunderstood me. And just when I said, let's make some burgoo, they actually brought me a gooey bird. And I said, you know, what you got to make with what you got. So I served a gooey bird, and everyone loved it. Second Michelin star, baby.

[Ronnie]

Well, you know, this pulls them out of their comfort zone. I mean, except for Gail, who's often under freeways seeing if anyone will sell her some.

[Gail]

You know, that was cupcakes.

[Ronnie]

I'm trying, I'm trying, Padma. I'm trying. I'm trying. You're not here. So it's really rough. So then Paula and Mas. The judges go to Paula and Massimo. And Paula and Massimo. Have you enjoyed working together? And he's like, oh, we cook with fire. So, you know, got heated today over here, huh? Look. Look over there. Who needs a fire hydrant when you've got Paula crying?

[Gail]

Oh, poor Paula.

[Ronnie]

We don't do this in Italy, am I right?

[Gail]

So Paul's like, so we have a brid short rib serve on flatbread and some escape. And if it tastes shitty, it's all Massimo's fault. Thank you very much. So. And Massimo's like, yes. And also I've made fresh bread to cook, to order. It's one of the most beautiful things in the world for me. And Gail's like, so you do that a lot? You make fresh bread to order? She says it like, it's a bad thing. Like, so, are you a cheater? You cheat on your wife? Is that what you do? Your French bread.

[Ronnie]

He's like, half of my day at my. My restaurant is making bread. Wow. Half the day at my restaurant is Gail eating bread. So.

[Gail]

Half the day at my restaurant is trying to avoid poor people. It's disgusting. And Gail.

[Ronnie]

And by poor people, I mean Gail, who's always sitting there eating bread. So, you know, it always comes back.

[Gail]

We have to make bread all day because Gail eats all of our inventory all day.

[Ronnie]

And Tom's like, well, yeah, you know, the meat, well, it's a little dry. It's good, but it's dry. It's dry meat. Well, there's a Gale one there, but since I'm dead, I'll let one of you living people take it. Anyone? No one? No one?

[Gail]

Sarah's like, it's really missing that collagen that oxtail gives. Oh, yeah. Kind of like Gail's face without collagen, right? Dale's like, well, there was a gentleness in the acidity, but I wanted to taste it, and I wanted that heat.

[Ronnie]

Is it a Good dish. Absolutely. I'm just not getting Caribbean flavor, you know, here's what I'm getting. Dry meat. Dry meat. So they taste.

[Gail]

It's like Gail eating a. Drinking a pina colada. Sure, it speaks to the Caribbean, but is this really the Caribbean right now? I don't think so.

[Ronnie]

Gail's just like a pina colada. No matter when you order it, she's always kind of melting.

[Gail]

All right. Aruba, Jamaica. Ooh, I don't want to take a gal.

[Ronnie]

So we see some normal people trying it, and one of the. One of them's like, ew, there's something bitter in this. She's like, oh, my God, it's the curry.

[Gail]

So now they all. So then the. The Caesars and Katiana's mentor shows up to try their food. So Caesar's like, I really love that the chef is here, and it's gonna try to. Our dish that's inspired by her. I mean, we're in the flow. We're just joking. Joking is so scary. Oh, my God. So anyway, everything's going well over there. And then the judges go to Cat and Corwin's table, and Cat's like, yeah, so we went to Mercado Negro, and it's a Portuguese restaurant. Billy Corgan's never been. I can tell you that from personal experience. And the things that really resonated with us were, like, the seafood. So we thought, what? Take that seafood and make a Nutella sandwich out of it. But Corman said, no, we can't do that.

[Ronnie]

And stupidly, she goes, yeah, we went to get salt cod, but they didn't have salt cod, so we got regular cod. So that's what we did. I mean, why would you say that? Just idiotic. So then the judges taste it, and Sarah's like, well, I mean, I do like big pickles. Ain't the first time I said that, I'll tell you that much.

[Gail]

God, my husband's got such a big pickle. I'm just glad he didn't chop that thing off. Anyway, salad has a unique flavor. It's kind of like, you know, it's kind of like, have you ever had preserved raccoon? It's kind of like that. Anyway, I was wondering, will they be able to get that without. Get to that without the salt cod? And the answer is, absolutely not. This tastes like garbage.

[Ronnie]

And Tom's like, why would you say salt cod if you don't have salt cod? I mean, it's just the dumbest storytelling I've ever heard.

[Gail]

I mean, what the hell was that? It's like saying you're gonna be a mixologist. You don't even know how to make a drink. Why would you even say in the first place?

[Ronnie]

I am really loving the flavors of Cat and Corwin's dish. The texture of this bomba, to me, is a little off, though. I'm gonna say that right now. Do not like it. An untextured bomba. Okay.

[Gail]

Wow. Gail, you know you're not supposed to be eating bomba socks, right? Maybe that explains it.

[Ronnie]

Gail still gets a boner every time Lou Diamond Phillips comes onto a Verizon commercial, and you can't even get her liking a Bamba.

[Gail]

W. Gail, stop eating that VHS cassette copy of the Bamba. It's not the meal.

[Ronnie]

So Kristen's like, the wetness. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. The salted cod wouldn't have made this happen. And Tom's like, yeah, I mean, it's a nice little seafood dish. It's fine. You know, you're not going to think much about it, but, you know, it's a double elimination. You got to come a little harder than this. You got to come a little harder than this, Padma.

[Gail]

Wow. Come a little harder. That's something that never happened in Gail's love life. Am I right, everyone? High five. Sorry. My dear friend Ali Wong gave me that joke. She's a comedian, and she's raunchy. See her at my show. Ghost Padma's comedy hour.

[Ronnie]

So Vinnie is telling people about his dish over and over. He's like, this is Karma Citra. Welcome to Karma Citra. Just like the book, guys.

[Gail]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And Lana's like, wow. Vinnie is, like, spieling, and I'm like, wow. Like, it's hilarious. Like, listening to him spiel over and over. Like, he just keeps saying karma citra. I really him on that one.

[Gail]

Karma Sutra? Yeah, like the book. So now the judges go up to Katyana and Cesar's table, and Katyana's like, cesar, come on. It's okay. You come out. No, you can. You don't have to hug my leg. It's okay. Cesar, the judge is here. They're your friends. They're gonna be critical, but they're your friends.

[Ronnie]

He's like, I'm afraid of ladies eating bread. She's like, okay, I'll talk to Gal. I'll talk to Gal. So, guys, welcome. We've got pad Thai, glazed tenderloin, pickled mushrooms. We have pea flour powder. So pea flour, pickle. Like, I mean, I know I do pickle daikon every single time, but I do it. Shut the up, Athena.

[Gail]

Okay, okay. Wait, what was that?

[Ronnie]

Cesar?

[Gail]

Hold on. He wants to whisper something into my ear. Okay, hold on. Okay, sweetie. All right, I'll tell them. He says, enjoy.

[Ronnie]

So they ask if they've ever had Royal Thai cuisine. And Cas like, no, but I love the idea of it. I mean, it gave the chef a little room to be creative. Terrified. You were terrified. Creative, though.

[Gail]

So they sit at the table, and Kristen's like, I feel like these little punch out flowers are kind of becoming Katiana's signature. Sort of like her version of a vest. And Gail's like, they are. But you know what? She's getting her money's worth with that stamp. Wow. Just sort of like you with your Burlington Coat Factory Groupon.

[Ronnie]

Well, that's delicious. You know, a lot of texture going on here. I mean, it's a little sweet, but whatever, you know, I was. It's no beaver soup, I'll say that.

[Gail]

It definitely feels like they took a lot of inspiration there. Like, there's a lot of variation of flavor, and I'm getting so many layers with the nuts and the chili and the mushrooms. That little pickle. The palm sugar is very tasty.

[Ronnie]

Wow. There's just so many nuts and tiny pickles in here. It's almost like Padma would marry it if it was 80 years older. Am I right? Nice try, Gail. Okay. You're still failing even when I'm dead.

[Gail]

Yeah, it's a. It's a good. It's a. It's a good dish. It's a good. It's a good dish. So then now a chef goes up to the Henry, and basically Henry and Schweize mentor goes over and they. And they like it. So that's nice. And now we go to Vinnie and Lana's table, and the judges go up there and he's like, yeah, it's a karma sutra chicken. Yep. Just like the book. Like, oh, my God, I'm going to strangle this man.

[Ronnie]

And he tells an older guy, he's like, so, have you ever been to New York, sir? And Gail goes, vinnie, you know that this gentleman's daughter lives in New York, right? It's me. That's my dad and my little brother. This is my family. The dad's like, wow, that's why we're standing away. So that's why we're standing so far from her. She smells right, dad. Wait a minute. Take off that balding cap, Padma.

[Gail]

It's a ghost In a disguise. Yeah. And this disguise was designed by my dear friend Dakota Fanning. What? Just go with it.

[Ronnie]

So they introduced their karma sutra. He goes, yeah, like the book. So he goes, you know what we did? We made. We made it with love. Right? Am I. Am I right? We made it with love Making. Yeah. I whipped this chicken thigh with my dick a few times, and that's how we did it. Sex book.

[Gail]

Yeah. Chicken thighs cooked down in a base of cashew sauce and caramelized onion and tomato sauce. And then we decided to ruin it by throwing on some curry hollandaise, because why not? Doesn't make any sense. But it's an homage to something that has nothing to do with this challenge, which is my time working at the Nomad.

[Ronnie]

And that's the thing. If you're gonna do a Hollandaise, let that be your sauce. Like, why are you doing all these sauces and then adding a big old gloppy hollandaise on top of no?

[Gail]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I feel like, also, to be honest, a Hollandaise sauce, you know, sure, we enjoy it on our eggs Benedict, but I think, generally speaking, when people think of hollandaise sauce, it feels kind of retro. So that you're going to throw this sauce that I don't think people get very excited about hearing Hollandaise. Like, Hollandaise has not had that nostalgic moment where you say, it's not. Has not had. It's like, bacon moment, where it's like, everything's better with bacon. No one's saying everything's better with Hollandaise at the moment. Like, even mayo has sort of had a moment, but hollandaise is not. And he's not jump starting that moment right now either.

[Ronnie]

There have been better days for Holland. Am I right?

[Gail]

There you go.

[Ronnie]

So lot. And also, he takes credit for the whole dish. He's like, okay, well, we've done this. We've done this because. Nomad. Nomad.

[Gail]

Nomad.

[Ronnie]

And that's what I learned at Nomad. You're welcome. And then Lana's like, oh, yeah. But we also topped it with sunflower because I love edible flowers. I was like, great, Lana, you just saved yourself from death with talking about loving edible flowers, which is also very 1990s, you know, I know.

[Gail]

I'm like, you're here. Why? So then the judges eat it. And Sarah's like, well, I mean, I. I love the chicken skin.

[Ronnie]

Right?

[Gail]

I mean, who doesn't love taking an animal, pulling off that skin, frying, and just eating it all day? Long.

[Ronnie]

Well, my chicken was cooked well, and my first bite was really, really nice. Oh, really? How's your hundredth? I guess we'll find out in about less than a minute.

[Gail]

Stop eating the plate, too. So Tom's like, oh, well, you know, I. I expected a little bit more from Indian food. I'm just gonna say it sort of like, I kind of feel like Indian food is kind of like my son. I just kind of expect more. Maybe I'll just never get it.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, look, curry hollandaise. I packed about as much punch. I mean, come on. I mean, they put a blanket of everything over this. Kind of, like, not super flavorful hollandaise. It's like covering bad with bad with bad. Well, it's like, about when Gail learns layering.

[Gail]

Listen, I'm all about experimentation. There was one time I fried up a skunk cutlet with some old bay seasoning. Didn't work out so well, but I appreciate the ambition. This just isn't working.

[Ronnie]

So Kristen's like, but, you know, it was homage to the story. It was an homage to the story, right? And because Tom's like, well, I don't know why you need rich Holland days when you've got a rich sauce. I mean, what's the point? She goes, well, you know, he's paying an homage to a story of Nomad. Gail's like, well, the story has to work with the dish, right? Well, the dress has to work with the figure too, Gail. But that never seemed to matter to you.

[Gail]

Did you mean to not put any spices in your stupid hollandaise?

[Ronnie]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. Why are there ridges on Reese's peanut butter cups? Probably so they never slip from her hands. Could you imagine I'd lose it? Luckily, Reese has thought about that.

[Gail]

Wonder what else they think about.

[Ronnie]

Probably chocolate, but in peanut butter.

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[Gail]

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[Bailey]

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[Gail]

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[Bailey]

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[Gail]

So Bailey Bailey is talking about how it's her first time outside of Last Chance Kitchen. She's acting like she literally was in the sequel to Room. She's like, I'm finally let out. They let me out of Last Chance Kitchen. And she's like, I'm really happy with it. I just want to keep that ball rolling and keep the momentum going. And the idea of winning amenities back to back is almost too good to be true. So then the.

[Ronnie]

The.

[Gail]

The chefs go up to. To the. The judges go up to Shuai and. And Henry, and they present and a rose caldo with a roasted pork curry. Car. Car. And some fermented pickles. Yada, yada, yada. It looks delicious.

[Ronnie]

And it reminds me, you know, like, rice. I was so poor growing up. We literally grew up on rations. Oh, wow. That's all I've ever asked from Gail. Really? She won't do it.

[Gail]

That's both rations and growing up. So then.

[Ronnie]

I mean, girls only had two dresses, and she's still here. I love stories about poor people. Can these poor people please win? They've just talked about how they were poor.

[Gail]

Fun fact. Gail uses kanji as a conditioner.

[Ronnie]

So let me taste this poor people food. Mmm. Tastes broke. You win.

[Gail]

Disgusting. Anyway, I'm gonna go to a three star Michelin restaurant in heaven. It's called you're not allowed in.

[Ronnie]

So Sarah's like, well, you know, I loved him talking about family, rice is life, being poor, etc. But, you know, I mean, it seems like something I would eat with my family. Now, if anything came close to beaver soup, this be it. I wasn't poor when I made it, but I could have been.

[Gail]

Oh, how's the meat cooked for you, Tom? He's like, it's okay. Gail goes, it does.

[Ronnie]

It's.

[Gail]

It's just. Tastes a little. Tastes a little dry. Wow. Gail, stop talking about your hair and tell us about the food. Am I right?

[Ronnie]

There's a lot in this tiny little bowl. Gail, you're eating one of the chafer dishes. Someone please take this away from Gail. I've already told you about rations.

[Gail]

Could someone get gallon ice cube? I think she burned her tongue on the bare metal.

[Ronnie]

Well, they've got the sour part down like Padma. Sorry, Gail. Nice try, but the condiments are interesting. You know, I mean, there's nice little things happening here.

[Gail]

And for the record, Gail, the sterno does not count as a condiment.

[Ronnie]

So, you know, this really burns. Yes, gal. I told you.

[Gail]

So now. Now they. Tom, the judges go to Bailey and Tristan's thing, and Tom's like, oh, Bailey, she's back from the dead and she's smiling. Must not have met Padme in the afterlife. Am I right? Hey, of course she didn't meet me. She's not famous enough. Sorry. Gonna hang out with Kurt Cobain now.

[Ronnie]

I saw her in hell, but I don't talk to four eyes.

[Gail]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna go hang out with my favorite comedian. Please welcome my dear friend, comedian Abraham Lincoln.

[Ronnie]

So, Abraham, how would you feel about being in Top Chef? Do you think you'd have a shot?

[Gail]

Wow. I really have learned so many lessons from my dear friend Ali Wong.

[Ronnie]

Sorry, Abraham. Penny for your thoughts.

[Gail]

Stupid. It was funny. So there's a moment there. Wow. Abraham. Hey. Hey, Abraham. Maybe next time you should get a lawyer, preferably from Netflix. Think about it.

[Ronnie]

So Bailey's like, yep, me back from the dead. I'm really thriving. Right? And Tom's like, well, you know, Tristan looks like he's just out there on a Sunday afternoon hanging out with the grill. Huh? That's a dad. That's a dad right there. I used to hire somebody to do that at my house. Tristan, did you?

[Gail]

Tristan's like, well, if I had sandals and a beer, I'd be in a good place right now. But technically, we did bring in your sandals for you, but Gail unfortunately ate them.

[Ronnie]

So Bailey's like, we're doing grilled octopus. Yeah. He made kalamat of caramel or kalamata caramel to glaze octa. I don't know if that I want to hear. Karma caramel. Does that sound good?

[Gail]

It sounded great to me.

[Ronnie]

Sometimes they just make up words. I don't. I don't believe that. So is this sugar that has been caramelized, and then they add kalamata to.

[Gail]

It for some reason. That just sounds great to me because I love kalamata olives so much that I'm pretty much down for them with anything. What I'm less down for is her saying, yeah, to glaze the octo, it's octopus.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, we're glazing the octo. This is new Bailey. Now, the old Bailey would have said octopus, but do. Bailey says octo. And then I did a green olive honey relish.

[Gail]

I'm just making relishes in the way that I love.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So now the chefs eat that. Unless there's like, well, octopus was great, and it was cooked well. You know, it was really crispy, and I had this really chewy and the best way. But I wish they'd really gotten that octopus, asked how it felt, and eaten out an eye before they cooked it. But you know what? You take what you can Get.

[Gail]

You know what? There is sweetness and saltiness from the caramel. And then the reason that the. Reinforce. The reason. The reinforcement of the olive and that olive relish that belly made, that was just an amazing olive relish.

[Ronnie]

Gail loves olive reinforcements. That's why she puts them in her bra.

[Gail]

Don't hug her too tight. Hug her too tight. You're have some extra virgin on your hands. In more ways than one.

[Ronnie]

Okay, so Kristen thinks, overall, they did a good job. Blah, blah. And now let's go to judging. Well, well, first, you know, the people are waiting for judging, and they're talking about how they're feeling, and sh. Is like, I was in the bottom last week. I just don't know how they feel about me anymore. And Cat's like, I feel like we're making it really, really hard on the judges. I mean, I kept tilting my head different ways, and Tom was like, how do I look you straight in the eye? I was like, I don't know. Things are throwing them off, so. Might have won this one, guys. Watch out. Watch out.

[Gail]

I. I think all the judges really liked it when I made a little radish stamp and put it on all their lapels. Made them feel special. Radish stamp, flower stamp. Out of the radish, I should say. Let me. Let me articulate that. So Tom, that's judge's table. And Tom's like, you know, you know.

[Ronnie]

So is that you're thinking of Katarina. This is Cat, the lady.

[Gail]

Oh, you're right. Sorry. Let me. Let me. Let me take out confused.

[Ronnie]

I was like, judges stamp too, I think.

[Gail]

Let me take that from the top. I feel like we made it really hard on the judges when we made little Nutella sandwiches and put them on their lapels. Fixed it.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Chef, not to correct you, I just got confused. I was like, wait a minute, please. Correct.

[Gail]

No, no, correct me.

[Ronnie]

Well, it's Top Chef, not remember. And also, it's our first time doing a full Top Chef recap, and I still don't know these people's names. I have the. The cast list pulled up on my computer so I can look up their names, because I don't know anybody.

[Gail]

I also feel like it's just not fair to have a Katarina and a Cat on the show. Show or. I'm sorry. Catania. Katanya, Right?

[Ronnie]

No, I thought it was Katarina. Am I wrong? Probably.

[Gail]

I'm not saying anymore. Whatever.

[Ronnie]

Feel like it's. She's a blade. She's a katana.

[Gail]

No, Katiana. It's Katiana.

[Ronnie]

Katiana. What was I calling?

[Gail]

Katarina. Katarina Vit. Katarina. Vit is on the show, everyone. The point is that we also just.

[Ronnie]

Katiana. Sorry, Katiana. I'm a loser. It's not your fault.

[Gail]

Salt.

[Ronnie]

Love your cheekbones.

[Gail]

We also had like three, three days in a row of intense travel, so, you know, we're allowed.

[Ronnie]

Oh, there is no excuse.

[Gail]

I'm gonna do it.

[Ronnie]

I'm just gonna Passover, guys.

[Gail]

I haven't had risen bread in all of like 12 hours.

[Ronnie]

That is rough. That is an excuse. So thankfully I'm a Christian. Jesus multiplies bread for us.

[Gail]

So, yeah, ours just gets thinner. Thinner and flatter. Like cats bangs. We have. We have the cat bangs of bread over here right now.

[Ronnie]

Well, guys, you know, it's always a tough challenge when you go into a kitchen for a small period of time. You try and take their knowledge. But everything considered, I thought it was really good. Lots of little pickles. I mean, I don't know. I'm barely here this season, so whatever. I don't know. Just I'll say something's good and then five minutes later I'll say it's the worst piece of I've ever eaten as I'm gonna do in this judges table, so. Well, let's see.

[Gail]

And I'm grumpy. What can I say? I'm grumpy. My whole thing this season is I'm grumpy. And at least no one agitated me by putting hollandaise sauce on a perfectly good Indian dish. Oh, wait, they did. I'm grumpy again. So Kristen's like all blue team Bailey and Tristan and purple team Katiana. Caesar, you had our favorite dishes of the day. Congratulations. And Sarah's again. Tristan and Bailey, can you guys tell me about that kalamata caramel? That sounded crazy. We liked it anyway. But like, like, Jesus Christ. What the was that thing?

[Ronnie]

So they did take kalamata olives and coupled them with garlic, caramelized sugar, and a little bit of Greek honey. I mean, I don't know, it just sounds like the sugar would have burnt all of that other stuff. But I don't know. I don't know how they made it, but they. They won, so. Or they. They were in the top. So I don't know.

[Gail]

I think that was the point, actually, because I think they wanted to get that. That brown. They wanted to sort of accelerate the charring. And Tom's like, yeah, I thought it was a really clever making that caramel. Much more clever than my son who came up with something that he calls a screwdriver. Oh, congratulations. Anyway, it helped with the char, but it still gave us that briny flavor as well. And really simple. It's all about the Greek food, and you kind of have to lay back, you know, like Patrick says, let the.

[Ronnie]

Cuisine guide the dish. Unlike Gail, who lets cuisine guide the car.

[Gail]

Unlike Gail, who lets Charleston choose guide her entire day.

[Ronnie]

I looked through Gail's car history, and the only thing in there was. Was McDonald's over and over again. Wow. Good job, Gail. So Caesar was like, well, the tenderloin was marinated. I'm sorry. Is that okay? And then it was seared. God. And the idea. I hope this is okay. We sliced it thin, and then we served it cold. Don't hit me. Don't hit me.

[Gail]

Well, I love that the beef was just marinated and seared. I mean, I love all those little components. They were just, like, so much texture, was so playful. It's just so beautiful to look at. It's like the time my husband accidentally chopped his hand off and. And sauteed it, and, you know, he felt bad he didn't get his hand back, but it was delicious.

[Ronnie]

Gail loved the funky, sour, sweet, spicy balance. It's just so vital to royal Thai. And they loved it. And the winner, Sarah, gets to say. She's like, I just want to tell you guys, you know, don't cook for anyone else, okay? You're gonna go much further being true to yourself than trying to manipulate it to make someone else happy. Which is why I made possum bites. I made possum poppers for one of my finale dishes, and look at me. I'm doing great.

[Gail]

Anyone wants some tarantula stew? It was a little out of the ordinary for me. Not really for my region, but I thought it kind of reminded me of some of the furry critters I like to cook up.

[Ronnie]

You know, I had all these people saying, aren't penguins cute? And I said, they sure are on a sandwich, which you can eat at my restaurant right now. Come on by.

[Gail]

Anyway, the winners, Bailey and Tristan Yachty. Die. Yeah. And so then Kristen is like, bailey and Tristan, congratulations. You just won another immunity for the next elimination challenge. Welcome back. Bailey and Bailey's. Like, I just want to say I thought your words were great, and I don't think that's how I was cooking on Last Chance Kitchen. But then being pushed into that made me just refocus and recenter and just be cooking the food that I've. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I already gave you Your monologue. You don't have to say it back to me. Pick what you want.

[Ronnie]

I said don't cook to please other people. You also don't have to kiss other people's ass to please people. Please move a out of the way. All right, so they won. So now here's the bottom yellow team. Mossimo and Paula, Henry and Schwe. Oh, no. They're safe. Sorry. Those people are all safe. So the bottom are Cat and Cor and stupid.

[Gail]

Sorry. Continue.

[Ronnie]

Cat and Corwin and Vinnie and Lana are the bottom teams.

[Gail]

This is what I like. One thing I like about Kristen, when she judges, when she starts criticizing, she starts playing the piano on the table. So she starts. Her fingers are all on the table, and she just starts, like. She's, like, playing some chords. Some, like, soundless chords, and she's like, okay. All right. Aren't you. Let's start with you. What? What went wrong? So Corwin's saying, well, we both wanted to do a baklava dish, and we love salt cod, so that's why we decided to not do a baklava dish or use salt cod at all.

[Ronnie]

So bizarre. They even bring up salt cod again. What are they doing? So Kristen's like, and were you breading them to order? And he's like, well, we did it the day of, so we at our base, and then we let him marinate overnight, and then we just did the breading the morning of, and Tom's, like, inside was very gaily. Good one, Tom. Mushy. I meant, damn it, Tom. So Cat's like, yeah. I mean, we were concerned about overworking it, which is what she kept saying. When he kept adding more panko, she was like, yeah, this is going to be too much. So she kind of tries to stand up for herself, but ultimately she went with it.

[Gail]

So, yeah, I mean, that binder, he was just really wet. Yeah. It's like when Gail was in middle school and got pushed into the school pool. Her binder was really wet.

[Ronnie]

It's like when I tried to do the ice bucket challenge with Gail at that hotel. We stayed at Milwaukee.

[Gail]

It wasn't like the time I did anymore.

[Ronnie]

Padma, hey. Ice challenges never end.

[Gail]

It's like I told Gail, hey, Gail, why don't you bring in a binder full of all the things you ate yesterday? It was so big, I chucked it into a water fountain, and the binder got wet. Okay. Not my best work.

[Ronnie]

What do you expect from me? I'm dead.

[Gail]

I'm dead, and I'm hanging out with all the dead celebrities, there's so many more famous people in heaven than I could have ever imagined. Stapleton.

[Ronnie]

So Sarah's like, well, did you do anything to fix the. You know, you do anything to the fish and shrimp before you put it in the vat of bread? And Cat's like, well, we seasoned the mix with quite a bit of salt. Don't goes. That's before you form the cake. So I was like, well, that makes sense. You know, salt leeches liquid, right? Do we all know this salt gets a liquid out? Okay, so maybe you didn't use it. I mean, I don't know. How do you want it? How'd you want it to turn out, you idiot?

[Gail]

You ever salt a squirrel before? Come on. Question. I feel this could be totally wrong. I kind of feel like if you had cod and you're trying to emulate the salt cod texture, which I know nothing about, and this is just a question. That's why it's a question. I kind of feel like if you want something that's gonna be firmer and flakes apart more easily and saltier, and you don't wanna worry about liquid issues, why don't you just cook the cod? Like, salt it and salt it heavily and cook it so it's firm and then put it into your batter. Why. Why are you putting the raw cod? Do they put the. They're making it sound like, probably be.

[Ronnie]

Rubbery if they cooked it and they. And then they fried it. But I was thinking, why don't they put it in, like, a tofu strainer or something, you know, or some kind of strainer and weight it down and take all the water out of it?

[Gail]

Or why don't they just do literally any thing else? Like, if they wanted to make like a baklava, like, why don't they do like an. Like a Bocarones baklava or something like that? Like, baklava would not be hard. And then there's plenty of other Portuguese fish they could go to, you know, I don't know. Disaster.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it was a sad one. This was a sad one for sure. So then they move over to Vinnie and Lana and Lana's like. I mean, we kind of discussed it, you know, it was like an ode to a dish that he'd done at Nomad. So that's how we did the chicken. And Gail's like, can you explain a little bit about what I have in my cereal every morning? And by that I mean hollandaise.

[Gail]

Explain that. Wow, gal, you just roasted yourself so.

[Ronnie]

I'm not gonna let you take 20 minutes to do it. Every time you have something to say.

[Gail]

Was too bad, because I had a lot of good Hollandaise material. Gal, you got me this time.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. If Gail was in a movie in the 90s, it would have been called Holland Dazed and Confused.

[Gail]

I heard that Gail was jealous. She couldn't do the Mrs. Doubtfire thing and stick her face in a bowl of hollandaise and say hello.

[Ronnie]

One time, Gail dressed like Mrs. Doubtfire for Halloween, and it was actually an improvement.

[Gail]

I lit her on fire. So Tom, I said, I doubt there's a fire that could handle Gail.

[Ronnie]

So Tom was like, well, part of this was to put myself into this, you know, I hold it near and dear to me, you know, because no matter. I hold nomads so near and dear to me. So it was my thing, you know, because Nomad. So that's why I did it, you know? Nomad. Nomad. Okay.

[Gail]

He's like, I saw a saucy chicken, and I instantly thought, okay, I'll do that. Just because you see a sauce does not mean you reach for the Hollandaise. Okay? The problem is part of this. You know, you want to do the stage, you get the information from the cuisine. And, yes, we want to see yourself in the dish, but what we're not getting human flavors in the dish. And that's where I thought.

[Cat]

I felt for sure.

[Gail]

I'm grumpy.

[Ronnie]

Then Kristen asked the obvious question, which is like, why would you put hollandaise over a chicken that was already heavily sauced with, like, three other sauces? And he's like, has different. It didn't taste like Nomad, so this tastes like Nomad. Okay, well, you're welcome.

[Gail]

Kristen's like, okay, everyone, I will call. We'll call you back in a bit. As she hits more keys on her desk. And then the chefs go to the back room, and then they do that thing where they have to be deprecating because you know that, like, some of them don't think they're really going to get eliminated, but they have to say, well, guys, it's been great knowing you. Great. Thanks so much. Hey, guys. Vinny goes, keep cooking the food you don't like to cook, and I'll get you fire chefs. I'm like, wait a second, Dick.

[Ronnie]

I think that. I don't think that's what he said. I think he said, keep cooking the food you like to cook, and it'll get you. No.

[Gail]

He said, no, no. He said, don't like to Cook. Because I remember watching it and being like, wait a second. Because at first I thought he said that. Then I was like, wait a second. And I thought I heard that back. He was being sarcastic. He's like, well, everyone, apparently you what you're supposed to cook the food that you don't know, because that's gonna get you far in this competition. Cause he's saying, oh, I cook the food that I know and I love. Love. And now I'm on. Now I'm gonna get chopped for it. It's like, no, it's not that you cook what you know and love. It's that you made a terrible pairing of hollandaise with Indian food.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. You're trying to shoehorn Nomad into everything and standing on your instead of standing on your own. Vinnie. Okay, so Lana's like. I mean, it was just. It's so sad because we work so well together. I mean, he let me put sunflowers on things, so.

[Gail]

It was really a huge moment. It was a great collaboration. So back to the judges. Table. Kristen's like, well, when we look at these four people, two teams, no one did a terrible job, but two of them are just gonna go home. Vinny and Lana. No, no. That was just very little Indian flavor in that dish. To that, I say.

[Ronnie]

Only this didn't work. It didn't work. Okay, so Sarah's like, yeah, you know what? You're looking at a Top Chef. You're not looking for a top work for a bunch of people. And now I'm redoing their dishes. Blowjob on a plate. You know what I'm saying? I just. Why don't you just serve as licked next time? All right? Who the is this jackass?

[Gail]

This is a great. This is a great reference to. It's called Top Chef. Not Top Scout, but a much better version.

[Ronnie]

This was so good, and we needed. This is what we need. And I think that looks. Kristin, I think, is doing a decent job on the show. I think she's doing decent, but she's not entertaining me the way. And no one's gonna be Padma. I get it. I'm not saying, like, bring back Padma. Okay? I get it.

[Gail]

We get it.

[Ronnie]

And Kristen really hasn't done anything to be fired, so I don't think they should fire her. But seeing Sarah in this, I'm like, this is the one that I want to see on the show, because this is the kind of brutal honesty we need on the show when there's a bunch. When I said at the beginning of this recap that they're so far up their own asses. This is what I need. I need someone who's like, I don't give a fuck if, you know, Ballude made this. I don't care, bro. Like, what do you do? Who are you? Are you anybody outside your little plastic world? I need someone like Sarah. You know? I need her. Bring Sarah.

[Gail]

Yeah, and I. I agree. And this is my. This is my issue with Kristen, too. I think Kristen's awesome. Like, she's. We've always loved Kristen, and she. She has the frame of reference on all the. She has a culinary frame of reference that, like, totally makes her qualified to host a culinary show. But the truth is, we're a season and a half. Half into Kristen's tenure, and, like, I still have a hard time defining what her personality is beyond nice. And I think that's actually a real problem. Whereas Sarah immediately has so much personality. She has, like, defining features, and, like, she has a POV that's more than that. She's hot and knows food. And so while I love Kristen, it's hard for me to, like, like, fully embrace her as, like, the figurehead of this franchise, because I don't. I need more from her, and I just haven't gotten it. And I've tried to. I've tried to find something about her, but Sarah. Sarah's the future for the show.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I think she's a strong. I think she's a strong judge, but I just need a strong personality as well. You know, it's not strong. Judging is not enough. So Gail's like, well, you know, the dish that Cat and Corwin made today was not an issue of conception. It was execution of croquette. Wow. Why don't you just hang it by his balls, Gail? Geez. This is the first time Gail has ever suggested executing a croquette.

[Gail]

Execution of croquette is also her fashion style. So Tom's like, yeah, it was watery and mushy and just not very good. Again, Gail's fashion style.

[Ronnie]

I would like to remind everybody that during the initial tasting, Todd was like, it's a good fish dish. It's just not very interesting. But now he's like, no, it wasn't good. I like when Tom changes his mind at the end. He's like, no, someone's got to lose. So this sucked. These people should be taken out the Mac and shot. This was terrible.

[Gail]

Tom was like, my mom, if you go to a restaurant and, like, if I take. If I take my mom to a restaurant in La. And it's. It's pretty good, but it had, like, some flaws. My mom was like, no, it was good. It was good. You know, some things were not as strong as others, but it was good. And then the next day, he'll be like, so, what'd you think about that restaurant last night, Mom? Oh, it was terrible.

[Ronnie]

The marinating. The marinating criticism. It just gets worse. So, yeah, Tom's like, that sucked. So I think we have our answer. Let's get the chefs out. So Tom's monologues aren't even very good right now. Tom's just like, meh. You know, this was a difficult one for many reasons. What? Bread? You know, you try to find inspiration working in a restaurant and then tried to work it into it. You know, a lot of complications here. Double elimination. You know, my knee hurts. I can feel the cold coming now in my knee, which is weird. And I've stopped wearing as many hats, so that's where I'm at. Kristen.

[Gail]

Kristen. Yeah. I think that Tom really peaked with his speeches that season where they went to the astronaut facility, and he had a whole speech about, like, yeah, this is sort of like cooking. You know, you go up into space, like, you know, you have an astronomical rise, and you're up there in space, and you realize what you can cook. And he realized that, like, the world is truly your oyster. And that's why we're gonna do a sudden oyster challenge right now. And food, space and stars. That's what we all. It was like, the most ludicrous monologue he ever did, and he's just never been able to top that. So now he's just kind of like, yeah, so, double O Nation, rub a dub dub. Let's eat some grub. Okay, Kristen, next. So in this case, Kat and Corwin, please pack your knives and go. Which is sad, because I really like Cat. I really like Corwin, too. And I was really bummed that they got eliminated of those croquettes.

[Ronnie]

I was not bummed. I think that that was. That was unforgivable. Goodbye. Get out of here.

[Gail]

Sauce was more unforgivable, personally.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, Cat's like, you know, this is where Cat's like, I was here for a long time. I was. I wasn't. Even though I wasn't here for a long time, I was here for a good time. Time. And, you know, I hope I made everybody proud. And I'm. I have no doubt that even though we'll be competitors, we're gonna have some fun in Last Chance Kitchen. Does Anybody have little tiny scissors that won't harm anybody? Because I need to touch up Corwin's.

[Gail]

Like, I'm a competitive person. We kick your ass. Bye. So that was that. So we'll see what's going to happen with Last Chance Kitchen, but for now, those two are gone and the show continues on. Thanks, everyone, for being here for Top Chef. Fun times as always.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, we'll see you next time. Check out watch crappens.com for links to our shows, our Patreon with our videos and bonus episodes, and we'll see you soon. Bye.

[Gail]

Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

[Ronnie]

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[Gail]

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[Ronnie]

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[Gail]

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[Ronnie]

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[Gail]

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[Ronnie]

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[Gail]

Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

[Ronnie]

We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Gail]

Let'S get real with Caitlin O'Neill don't.

[Ronnie]

Get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

[Gail]

Who, what, why, where?

[Ronnie]

And Gwen Pentland it's our queen It's.

[Gail]

Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to.

[Ronnie]

Jamie Kendall Know your worth with Jason.

[Gail]

Kurt we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Junie my Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo she gets an.

[Ronnie]

A hey, it's Kelly B We love.

[Gail]

Him madly It's Kyle Pod Chadley we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron she's a wiz It's Liz Sarthy always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani the.

[Ronnie]

Incredible edible Matthew sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose we're on the floor with Molly Dorset Give him.

[Gail]

Hell Ms. Noel, there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, let's take off off.

[Ronnie]

With Tamla playing it's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo she ain't no shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.