#2811 Top Chef S22E6 Part Two: Pickle Your Poison

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Summary

Episode: #2811 Top Chef S22E6 Part Two: Pickle Your Poison
Release Date: April 22, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Platform: Wondery

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Kristen Kish delve into the intricacies of Top Chef Season 22, Episode 6: "Pickle Your Poison." The discussion offers an engaging recap of the culinary showdown centered around pickles, highlighting the contestants' creative interpretations, judges' critiques, and the emotional highs and lows of the competition.

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Challenge Breakdown

The episode focuses on a specific challenge where contestants were tasked with creating innovative pickle-based dishes. The challenge comprised multiple rounds, including first courses, head-to-head competitions, and dessert.

First Course: Cornichon Challenge

• Massimo’s Dish ([05:54] - [06:28]): Massimo introduced a "hybrid classic French tartare with a deconstructed cannolo and fried pickle," inspired by the Montreal classic from L'Express. Kristen praises the balance, noting, “Massimo, you were like a poetry written from pickles” ([29:49]).

• Shui’s Dish ([07:50] - [08:15]): Shui presented a "fried pickled mushroom tartare with dijonnaise," which Kristen critiqued for its unappealing texture, humorously describing it as “a giant piece of raw, chewy meat” ([08:15]).

Massimo's dish received unanimous approval, securing his immunity, while Shui's creation was heavily criticized, leading to his elimination.

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Head-to-Head Competition

The competition intensified as contestants faced off with more complex pickle-centric dishes.

Vinnie vs. Tristan ([10:49] - [12:21]):

• Vinnie’s Dish: Featured pickled Atlantic salmon, reminiscent of his time at Nomad. Despite the nostalgia, the dish lacked finesse.

• Tristan’s Dish: Offered charred mackerel with pickled celery and burnt pickles. Kristen appreciated the presentation but had reservations about the flavor balance.

The judges favored Tristan’s execution, leading to Vinnie’s exit from the competition.

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Emotional Moments and Team Dynamics

The episode didn’t shy away from the emotional struggles of the contestants. Henry faced a significant setback when Shuai accidentally discarded his mise en place, jeopardizing the team's performance. Kristen empathetically discusses Henry’s frustration: “If Henry watches us back and realizes that he could have been the hero that saved everything... it just never happened for him because of Shuai” ([40:03]).

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Final Dessert Challenge

In the dessert round, contestants were to craft pickle-infused sweet dishes.

• Cesar’s Creation ([26:32] - [27:18]): Cesar introduced a "pickle curd with bread and butter pickles in ice cream," which impressed the judges with its innovative use of pickles in a dessert context. Kristen highlights its success: “This was one of the best dishes I've ever had on the show” ([28:25]).

• Bailey’s Experiment ([25:13] - [26:15]): Bailey attempted a ricotta and pickle sundae, which Kristen humorously dismissed: “Ricotta and pickle and red wine braised beef ragu sundae” ([25:13]).

Cesar’s dessert won unanimously, earning him another victory and further solidifying his position in the competition.

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Elimination and Winner Announcement

As the episode drew to a close, the judges deliberated on the remaining contestants. Massimo’s consistent performance and Massimo’s winning tartare led to his ultimate victory for the episode. Kristen humorously concludes with, “We’ve renamed the James Beard House to the James Pickle House. Just love with pickles” ([29:49]).

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Notable Quotes

• “Massimo, you were like a poetry written from pickles.” — Kristen Kish ([29:49])
• “It literally looked like a giant piece of raw, chewy meat that someone couldn’t digest.” — Kristen Kish on Shui’s dish ([08:15])
• “I feel like talking about all this, like, frozen stuff in oil. I become my own inert Cesar after that spring roll incident.” — Ben Mandelker ([02:19])
• “Pickles should speak to me. And they often did, or sing to me, or gently, gently soothe me to sleep. This did nothing but confuse me.” — Kristen Kish on Katiana’s dish ([36:59])

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Conclusion

Watch What Crappens delivers a lively and comprehensive recap of Top Chef S22E6: "Pickle Your Poison," blending humor with critical analysis. Ben and Kristen navigate the highs and lows of the episode, providing listeners with insightful commentary on the contestants' culinary prowess and the dramatic turns of the competition.

For more in-depth discussions, bonus content, and exclusive access, support Watch What Crappens on Patreon at www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.

Transcript

[Ben Mandelker]

Wondry subscribers can listen to Watch what Crappens ad free right now. Join Wondri in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Ronnie Karam]

When a young woman named Desiree vanishes without a trace, the trail leads to Kat Turris, a charismatic influencer with millions of followers. But behind the glamorous posts and inspirational quotes, a sinister truth unravels. Binge all episodes of Don't Cross. Catch early and ad free on Wonder.

[Ben Mandelker]

Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens.

[Kristen Kish]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens. This is is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay, it's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Lana, meanwhile, is like, guys, today is a big day. We're keeping communication lines open. We want to have full access to my childhood pickle fridge. Okay? And we're going to win as a team. We're going to lose as a team.

[Kristen Kish]

She says the most basic. She's like the Kristen of chefs. She's just like, guys, today is a competition. We're all here competing, but that doesn't mean that we're not a family. Because in kitchen, kitchens are homes and chefs are families. Do we understand? Okay, guys, teamwork.

[Ben Mandelker]

Thank you. AI Kristen slash Lana. So Tristan is talking about his dish. Whatever. And Massimo hit. That's a. His canola's turn out really well. Because, you know, the edit that he's getting, it's kind of like he's either gonna be terrible this episode or great. But his canolas are good. So he looks happy and he goes, he says, maybe you'd be clever if I do a little Brunoise of fried potatoes. Which is always like, no, don't add. Don't like your. Everything's fine. It's always the person who does the last minute addition on the day of that it all up you. Right? That's what sent Cat and Corwin home when they added to their weird cod shit. So then he's like, okay, I'm going to do a brunoise. Like, no, don't do it. Your canola turned out well.

[Kristen Kish]

And then it all goes up in flames. And he's like, oh. And he covers it with a baking sheet. And he's like, well, you know, I threw some potatoes in a pot of oil without having strained the potatoes. Basically, it's how you build a bomb.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it Literally explodes into fire.

[Kristen Kish]

It's always. It's always some tragedy with him. It's so funny. So Bailey. Bailey's like, well, you know, I'm not mad at Massimo. I'm just disappointed. Wait, why is she disappointed?

[Ben Mandelker]

Why are you so disappointed? He caused a grease fire, and you're the one who's making pasta for your dessert. I'm disappointed in you. So, Tristan, they're basically, like, shading him. Like, rookie move. Wow. You put wet potatoes into blazing hot oil. And I did tell you the story. I know I told at least last season, that at the time in high school, when I superheated some oil in a pan and then threw in frozen spring rolls, and the oil exploded all over the kitchen. And I was like. My cat was there, was like, run. And I pushed the cat out of the kitchen. I'm surprised it did not burn down the whole house.

[Kristen Kish]

We've all been there. When I worked at the bowling alley when I was, like, 14, 13 and 14, they didn't really tell me how to do a lot of stuff. And I was the cook in the snack bar. Okay? Then my aunt's just, like I said, do people want fries? And she's on the phone with me. She's like, ronnie, all you do is you take the fries and you throw them in the fryer. It's already warmed up. All you got to do is throw it in the oil. So she's like, you see the basket? Take it out of the thing. So I did. Well, you know, fries come straight out of the freezer, okay? That's how they work in restaurants like that. And that's what happens. They just explode. And I was like, oh, my God, they exploded. She's like, stand back, you fucking idiot.

[Ben Mandelker]

If there's a catch back there, push the cat out of the way and stand back.

[Kristen Kish]

Yeah. She's like, you literally stand away. I'm like, they're supposed to do that. She's like, yeah, that's how it works when water goes into a fryer. I'm like, but then why do we put water into a fryer? She goes, what do you want us. Okay, Ronnie, take two hours to dethaw the French fries out and dry them. I was like, okay. It's terrifying.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's scary.

[Kristen Kish]

Scary. It is. But, yeah, that's how you do it.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's scary. I feel like. I feel like talking about all this, like, frozen stuff in oil. I become my own inert Cesar after that spring roll incident. And I just, like, trembling in the corner of the kitchen, like, what did I do to myself? So they. Massimo, stupid. So he. Luckily, he actually decides not to use his terror potatoes. Because most chefs are like, well, I caused a bomb in the kitchen, but I'm gonna throw raw but seared potatoes into my dish anyway. Because I made them. Yeah, smart. And does not.

[Kristen Kish]

So then Kristen welcomes Danielle. Oh, my God. Everyone, Danielle, thank you so much for having us. So we have two teams of five. She tells them the rules and she's asked if anyone's not a fan of pickles. And Claire's like, oh, I love a good pickle. It's often the accompaniment. But this time, to see the accompaniment come into the full star role. I'm so excited to see. See what this journey for the pickle entails. Yeah, that's what Gail felt the second I left. Sorry it's not working out for you, Gail.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, I'm just, you know, I love a good pickle. So delicious. But anyway, what are we having for dinner tonight? Surely not a pickle dinner, right? Why are you asking me?

[Kristen Kish]

Poor Gail. Always the pickle, never the sandwich. Am I right, Gail?

[Ben Mandelker]

Gail, get those cornishons out of your ears. Claire's here. We're trying to impress her.

[Kristen Kish]

So, five, not much time. Time to play some first course. So they're all doing that. And the first plate is cornichon. So it's Massimo and Massimo and shway at first. So Massimo, I was inspired by a true Montreal classic, me and the steak tartare from L'Express, which is basically a place that sells very expensive T shirts for women. It's the best in the world. So I made a hybrid classic French tartare with the deconstructed hybrid of a cannolo and a fried pickle.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, l'express. Express is a good word to use for Gale. That sort of her mode she enters when she finds out the malamars are restocked. Ha. Comedy, Padma.

[Kristen Kish]

So one of the guest judges is like, is this a traditional Italian cannolo dough? Tell me, tell me about this impostor Canolo. And he's like, no, luckily it didn't burn or come apart, because that would have been embarrassing. I'm not afraid to embarrass myself, as you can tell by my hair.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, I'll tell you who else isn't afraid of embarrassing themselves. My son becoming a mixologist with a world class chef father doesn't want to just follow in my footsteps. That's fine. Just embarrass yourself. Seems to be fine with it. What's up with this new generation anyway.

[Kristen Kish]

Well, one thing that kid never uses as an ingredient is pride. I'll tell you that. Good for him. Good for him. Just to not care. Just to not care.

[Ben Mandelker]

What a. Yeah. You sort of have to admire it. You don't really have to. I mean, I don't, but someone does. I'm sure.

[Kristen Kish]

So Shui is like, I'm starting with a little hors d'oeuvre of fried pickled mushroom, tartare, dijonnaise, you know, light things, mayonnaise based things, deep fried things. But, you know, the pickle fried mushroom, that's more the main thing. I mean, it looks small, but it's mean. It's nor d'oeuvre. I mean, don't think it's like some big deal. I'm a bottom bitch. Am I on the bottom? Just tell me I'm on the bottom right now. I can't handle this.

[Ben Mandelker]

His dish looks like someone literally chewed it and spat it back out onto the plate. I was like, this looks. I mean, I would have eaten the fuck out of it, but I was like, compared to it, like, Massimo's was like this. Such this elegant little cigar, like the canola. It was just so structured and perfect and beautiful. And then shui is just like. It literally looked like a giant. A giant piece of raw, like, chewy meat that someone couldn't digest.

[Kristen Kish]

Yeah, it looked like a brown chewed up piece of gum. And then with the. With the hunks, you know, the hunks of raw meat on top, it just didn't. It did not look good. And he goes, they're all kind of looking at it like that. So he goes, yeah, you know, I was looking for a trashy, fancy feel. Right, Right. Like fried chicken with caviar on top. So this should give you the same kind of vibe. Even though it's not, you know, fried chicken or caviar. Many of the good things, it's just other stuff. So it's not chipotle. Am I right?

[Ben Mandelker]

So Kristen's like, okay, well, it's time to vote, which means you get to be publicly humiliated. All right, everyone pass them down. Okay. With a score of six to two. Mossimo, congratulations. You were much better than whatever the hell that thing was that Shuai served us.

[Kristen Kish]

And Massimo's like, privilege, privilege cooking for you guys.

[Ben Mandelker]

Boom.

[Kristen Kish]

So the kitchen went right now. Okay, bye. So Danny's like, yeah, I voted for Massimo. And you didn't shy away from the pickle and tasting the dough on its own. You know, you definitely got Some of that acidity, you know, which is better on my. Listen, here's the nicest compliment on my challenge, on my season, somebody said, danny, this tastes like cheese. Remember, guys?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. You know, you showed a Massimo. You showed a lot of restraint and balance, unlike Gail's patterns today. Am I right? Yeah, Unlike Gail's patterns, that. Wait a second, Tom, you took my line.

[Kristen Kish]

Gail's like, it was a beautiful dish. And shway. Your pickle fried mushroom had enormous pickle flavor. The tipping point for me. Oh, God, she's just writing them for me. Can I please come back to life?

[Ben Mandelker]

Gail's tipping point was taking her first step in the morning. Oopsie daisy.

[Kristen Kish]

But you know what? It could have been presented in a slightly tighter way. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. She's writing me a welcome home book.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm just sad. I'm a spectral presence. Otherwise, you could see me rolling my eyes and just nudging Danny and saying this one. Am I right? It's comedy.

[Kristen Kish]

All right, so next round, Vinnie, can you tell us about your dish? And he's like, nomad. Nomad, Nomad, Nomad. Okay. North of Madison. I don't know. It runs north to south, so how could that be possible? No, it's a restaurant. Nomad. I won, right? I've worked at Nomad.

[Ben Mandelker]

He literally says, so here we have a pickle, which I can't. I hate the we. But here we have a pickled Brian Atlantic salmon. And this is probably one of the first dishes I put out at the Nomad. Like, really?

[Kristen Kish]

Shut up.

[Ben Mandelker]

Claire's like, oh, any flashbacks, Danny, to when this idiot was cooking with you in that restaurant? He's like, no, I blocked it all out.

[Kristen Kish]

And he's just ass kissing again because Danny worked at the Nomad. So he's like, yeah, put this out at the Nomad. Me and you, Nomad brothers, right? Remember the Nomad? Yeah. High five. Nomad. What?

[Ben Mandelker]

Tristan's like, well, I have a charl charred mackerel with a half sour celery vichy swa. Underneath is a cucumber and a celeriac pickle au jus l and some pickled dulce, and then there's some burnt pickles as well. I hate everything about this dish. Enjoy. And they're like, wow, he hates it. So much better than Vinnie's though. Am I right?

[Kristen Kish]

But then we see the dish, and I'm like, that looks nice, but those were a lot of fancy words. Half sour celeriac, vichy schwagen, pickled dulce. I'm like, Girl, come on now. You're over fancying this, but it's still a good. And I want him to beat the out of Vinnie, so I was okay with it.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right, so it's time to vote. And we have a full sweep here with this one. Actually got eight votes because Sue Sirli came back just to vote to say that he did not like Vinnie's dish. So he just a bonus anti Vinnie vote from Zeuser. That's really remarkable. Never had to happen.

[Kristen Kish]

But on the. On the bright spot, Vinnie, you did get half of your dream term. No. Okay. Go back to the kitchen. Thank you.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, Vinny, just don't want you to think about this too hard, but you are on the team that is going to win, but you will have the worst dish on that team. Okay?

[Kristen Kish]

Yes. Yes. Welcome Vinny to his new restaurant. No, thank you. No, thank you.

[Ben Mandelker]

We're welcoming him to his new. His other new restaurant called I am mad at how crappy this dish is.

[Kristen Kish]

Yes, mad. Yes, Matt.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes, mad.

[Kristen Kish]

Tom loves Tristan's wild ideas, and Matthew's like, for me, you know, you take a super humble ingredient like Al to execute something like that, I mean, that is unbelievable.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, leaving leftovers. Unbelievable. This is one of the best things I've ever had. I can't believe how delicious this it is. Absolutely, truly wonderful. And Vinnie, I. I enjoyed the plate you selected. That was a nice, nice, nice shape.

[Kristen Kish]

Yeah. Tom said it's the best thing he's ever had. I'm sure. So then in the kitchen, Tristan's like, full sweep, guys, and Vinnie's like, well, I get no votes today because I suck. So now it's one to one. Luckily, I got the rest of my team to hopefully bring it home, because not one of them has worked at Nomad.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then we cut to Henry, and he's like, yesterday, I spent all my time making all these beautiful garnishes and pickles, and now I just have to finish the short ribs. And it's a very simple process. I'm gonna take all these garnishes that I slaved over, and they all taste wonderful. And all I have to do is take them and put them on my dish, which is already ready to do. Very easy. What could go wrong? Yeah.

[Kristen Kish]

Meanwhile, Cesar's ice cream is coming along. It's like, let's just get weird, right? So Katyana has Shoui try her dish, and it has too much acid, and she's like, well, oh, God, I have a security blank. Thank God. Tofu. So I decided to add the squeezed tofu and fold it into the cucumber porridge. Oh, no. I didn't realize watching this. It's a last minute tofu.

[Ben Mandelker]

Last minute. Yeah. Last minute tofu. Yeah.

[Kristen Kish]

So when you have something so much work to be decent, like, let's face it, nobody's like, you know what? I want raw tofu. No, you need to work the tofu.

[Ben Mandelker]

Excuse you. When you have something that is full of flavor as a cucumber porridge, tofu just adds magic to it.

[Kristen Kish]

Wow. Last time God found something bland and added a bunch of tofu to it was Gayle. Am I right? Tofu. Tofu. Gail.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cucumber porridge, also known as a spa day for Gail, just slathers it right on her eyes.

[Kristen Kish]

Oh, gosh. She's like, well, you know, it's a little soft, but I figure I like crumble tofu, so I like that texture. No, girl, no. Okay, so she's up against Lana. So they start with Lana, and she did a seared scallop. She's like, I brined it in dill pickle. You know, the dill pickle liquid is. You know, the sauce is dill pickle burre blanc. And on top of that is a grilled pickle dill relish. So that was good. I believe in us. You know, I just want the judges to remember that we're a family and we're a team.

[Ben Mandelker]

So also, I brought this Polaroid camera. I thought we could all take a photo together and my mom could put this on the on my pickle fridge at home.

[Kristen Kish]

So Katyana did a roasted dilly cucumber with dill pickle and smoked clam vinaigrette and some potatoes that have been poached in the pickle brine.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then this is when, you know she's done something wrong. Tom goes. The porridge is made with what? Oh, that's Tom's way of saying, this is crap.

[Kristen Kish]

I just ate one of the best.

[Ben Mandelker]

Things in my life, and now I gotta eat this weird pickle porridge. No, thank you.

[Kristen Kish]

Also, just another fail is just using the word porridge in a meal. Nobody wants that. Nobody wants it. I'm sorry. There's no way you're gonna say porridge. And people are gonna be like, oh, my God, that's great. It's like the. They serve you in jail.

[Ben Mandelker]

You gotta use the French word. The French word is bui. Bully. Bully. You gotta say, it's a cucumber bully. Yeah, Cucumber Boulevard. Then it's like, oh, it's a boule. It's not a porridge. It's a boulevard.

[Kristen Kish]

And she says, yeah, this was made with cucumber seeds, but they were pressed overnight. Who cares? They're still cucumber seeds, you know? So Kristin's like, okay, by a vote of seven to one, Lana, congratulations. Okay, does anybody want to admit to voting for Katjana? Did you make a mistake?

[Ben Mandelker]

Who did that? Who did that? Was it you, Claire? Absolutely not. I wouldn't have to do such a thing. Gail was a. Gail's like, well, I enjoy a pressed cucumber seed. What can I say?

[Kristen Kish]

So Tom loved the winning dish, but Danny is like, the porridge on the bottom muddled up that whole dish. I mean, if you would have left that off, I think that would have been completely different, you know? Unfortunately, you didn't, so it sucked. You suck. Bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

You suck. You're terrible. Bye. Wow. Take your pressed cucumber seeds and get the hell out of here. So then Katiana is not feeling great, but, like, whatever. She's just gonna focus on helping the team win. So Shuai is like, okay, well, now that I've served them a chewed up piece of dog food, why don't I just take every dish I see and throw in the garbage? No one should. No one needs these things, right? He thinks he's being helpful, but he's in that frantic I fucked it up for my team state, so he's not thinking straight. That's what I suspect. And he's gonna clean off all the mise en place, all of Katyana's mise en place. So that way it's gonna be easy for everyone else. But he doesn't realize is that Henry's like, wait, that's my mise en place.

[Kristen Kish]

I knew something was wrong the second he goes, well, I guess I'll clear off Katyana's shit, because it sounded like kind of rude, like, she left her station dirty. And I was like, well, that's weird. I wonder if there's gonna be drama that they left that in. And Henry's like, yeah, you just threw away on Plus. He goes, oh, my God. And he's just like, I just threw away his entire dish. Oh, Jesus.

[Ben Mandelker]

Why would you do that? Why were. What were you thinking, sir? No, overactive cleaner.

[Kristen Kish]

And Henry's also already. Anyway, you know, it's Henry. So he's like, oh, my God, he just threw away my entire me on Pl.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, he's like, oh, I. I thought it was Katiana's because there were plates that were on A counter. And I just assumed they were katyanas. They had no good reason to think they were katyanas. He's like, no. He's like, I just want to go into a hole. I was stressed when that happened. I was like, I don't know what happens. Like this. That's terrible.

[Kristen Kish]

Yeah. So he's got some daikon, and he's got some short rib, and he's got some sauce, so that's good. So he plates what he has, but yeah, yeah. So they go serve, and Paula's. Sorry, go ahead.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, I was gonna say he just looked poor, Henry. He looked so sad. He was just so crestfallen. He was like, really?

[Kristen Kish]

So Paula's like, okay, I've grilled octopus with a spicy pickled chimichurri with braised pickle beets and some serrano peppers. And they're like, okay, Kristen, Henry, what did you do with the spicy pickle? He's like, braised short rib with fermented collard greens and spicy pickle foam.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Danielle, whoever Danielle is like, how many hours cook did you cook the short ribs? He's like, I cooked it in the pressure cooker for 30 minutes, and then I cooked it again the last hour and a half. I'm just like, all right, great. You made a foam and a short rib. Congratulations. Okay, so time to vote. And if the purple team takes us, they win. So, Henry, if your dish is really your dish is the difference between your team losing and someone going home versus staying. So no pressure, Henry.

[Kristen Kish]

No pressure, Henry, because you did just service a dish that looks like it's topped with a nuclear waste spitball. So that's for sure gonna go into this. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[Monica Lewinsky]

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[Ronnie Karam]

Everyone has that friend who seems kind of perfect for Patty. That friend was Tessire until one day.

[Kristen Kish]

I texted her and she was not getting the text.

[Ben Mandelker]

So I went to Instagram. She has no Instagram anymore. And Facebook.

[Kristen Kish]

No Facebook anymore.

[Ronnie Karam]

Desiree was gone. And there was one person who knew the answer.

[Ben Mandelker]

I am a spiritual person, a magical.

[Ronnie Karam]

Person, a witch, a gorgeous Brazilian influencer called Kat Torres, but who was hiding a secret from Wondery. Based on my smash hit podcast from Brazil comes a new series, Don't Cross Cat, about a search that led me to a mystery in a Texas suburb. I'm calling to check on the two missing Brazilian girls.

[Kristen Kish]

Maybe get some undercover crew there.

[Ben Mandelker]

The family are freaking out.

[Kristen Kish]

They are lost.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm Chico Felitti. You can listen to Don't Cross Cat on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kristen Kish]

Okay, guys, let's vote. Let's vote. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun. Seven to one. Who's. Who's the one person who keeps voting for the city dishes?

[Ben Mandelker]

Who is the dissenting voice? Every single one has been like this with the exception of Vinnie. Vinny's the only one who had like a unanimous no. That was garbage.

[Kristen Kish]

Yeah, but at this point, there's someone fucking with it. Someone's trolling. So Paula wins that one and Claire's like, oh God, I thought this was just such a wonderful expression of the pickle. You really layered everything beautifully. It was like a harp playing, but the harps music was all pickles spl. It was just gorgeous. Symphony.

[Ben Mandelker]

I actually really like what you did, Henry, but I wasn't getting a pickle enough. Not enough pickle here.

[Kristen Kish]

And Chris. Whoa. That's the first time Gail's ever said that. Normally, she's got plenty of pickles. Normally, she does these judging while she's still got a pickle hanging out of her mouth.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Gail saying not enough pickle. That's what she also tells Starbucks every time she gets a cold brew.

[Kristen Kish]

Wow, Gail, you're not talking to your bathwater. So Paula can tell her team that they all won, but they are still gonna taste the last dishes. So shawei feels terrible, of course, And Henry's like, I lost it for the whole team. None of this is. None of us. None of us is going home. And I feel embarrassed. I feel sad. No, no. Now one of us is going home. I feel embarrassed. I feel sad. I should have taken this with my pickle foam.

[Ben Mandelker]

So he goes. So he goes off to the court. He disappears and comes back with bloodshot eyes. He's like, I'd cried in the bathroom like a civilized human being. I know.

[Kristen Kish]

I feel so bad for him, but I can't feel too bad for him, because he did make a pickle foam. That's unforgivable.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. But it felt like this was actually a dish that he could have turned the corner with. Like, his streak of bad luck could have ended here, and it didn't. So, Cesar, is this ice cream? It's time for the final bread and butter pickles. So Kristen's like, bailey, tell us about your bread and butter, not dessert, pickle dish. Really? Pasta is the final course. Really? Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot for this. I can't. Can't wait to have a nice, heavy pasta now. So Bailey's like, I had a really fun idea to make a ricotta filling with the pickle and red wine braised beef ragu and finish it with a little, you know, B.B. giard and Parmesan fonduta. You know, just. Oh, great. Thanks. Love that. Love that as a dessert. That's when I go to. When I go to Carvel, I'm like, please give me a ricotta and pickle and red wine braised beef ragu sundae. Thanks so much.

[Kristen Kish]

And Kristin's like, yeah. In terms of progression, what were the thoughts about ending on a pasta? Well, you know, Padma told me that Gail ends the night sleeping in pasta, so I figured, why not give it a go? Surely maybe it'll work here.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, fine. Caesar and Caesar's like, I did dessert. I have A curd made out of pickling liquid and bread and butter pickles. And ice cream and bread and butter pickle. I'm just scared for my rutabaga. I don't know if I turned the road light on before I left for this competition.

[Kristen Kish]

It's like, yeah, you know, the chart has mustard power. Don't hit me. You know, that would be great. Just don't hit me. And Gail's like, have you ever made anything like this before, Caesar? And he's like, no. She goes, you know, when Gail acts like she's gonna be mean, she's like.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Tom's like, well, has anybody ever made anything like this? Because I know one person who hasn't. My son. Oh. But here's something he has done. He's made a pickle back. Congratulations. You put pickle juice and whiskey together. Congratulations. You really invented nothing new.

[Kristen Kish]

So. So Caesar wins there. Cesar wins this one hands down. He wins unanimously. And Tom's like, Bailey, you know, it was a good dish, but, you know, this one was out of this world. You know, the curd, beautifully made, really smooth. It just has the right amount of sugar. But the pickles. Whoa. The pickles really come through.

[Ben Mandelker]

Whoa.

[Kristen Kish]

Oh, God. God. Pickles. Pickles. Wow. Pickles in my ice cream. Who knew?

[Ben Mandelker]

Who knew? You know, this is just that this just reminds me that old adage, if it looks like it's got curds, terrible. But if it is a curd, wonderful.

[Kristen Kish]

Why are you reading Gail's marriage vows at the judges table?

[Ben Mandelker]

So Caesar's happy, and now the chefs leave. They talk a little bit about it, and Kristen's like, overall, I think the chefs got creative, and there's always these really exciting moments. Not with Vinnie, of course. Really boring there. That was, like, the most boring moment of the entire season. And also last season, and I'm talking about Wisconsin. His was the worst moment of between this and Top Chef. Wisconsin. Think about that. Anyway, there's one or two times during the course of our dining where you're just, like, you know, excited.

[Kristen Kish]

So basically, the two best dishes are from the green team, which sucks, because the green team lost. So now what do we do? So Kristen is like, well, the purple team won this challenge. However, it was a great showing. And Tom's like, well, if this kind of level of cooking continues, the finale is going to be pickled. Am I right? All right. There were two dishes that were probably some of the best dishes I've ever had on the show. Tristan and Caesar. Sorry, you can't win. So Go stand over there on the side.

[Ben Mandelker]

By the way, Tom loves doing that little tease. I mean, if this level cooking continues, we're gonna have a tremendous season. At this level of cooking continues, we're gonna have an amazing finale. I mean, if this level of cooking continues, I mean, the Oscars can be great this year.

[Kristen Kish]

Okay, so Danny. Danny's like, the winning chef tonight. Gave us a dish that highlighted the pickle incredibly. Unfortunately, didn't use cheese, so that was weird, but it showed a ton of technique. And, you know, like, let's stop around. It was Massimo. It was Massimo. Claire's like, massimo, you were like a poetry written from pickles. You were pickled poetry. God damn it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Unfortunately, we've already decided that you're not allowed into the James Beard house because we don't want you burning it down. So just enjoy this jar of lassic classics and beyond.

[Kristen Kish]

But I would like to. I would like to announce that we've renamed the James Beard house to the James Pickle House. Just love with pickles. Now, pickles, the new art.

[Ben Mandelker]

That tartare, first of all, was an excellent tartare. It had flavor. It was seasoned well. It really delivered. And you really integrated the pickle on every level of that tartare. Yes, gal. Unlike the tartar that's on your teeth, which is a lot.

[Kristen Kish]

Funny, because Gail integrated the tartar from her teeth onto the tartare of your pickle. Crazy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, thank you. Because, you know, I was throwing an arrow at you with the L'Express tartare. She's like, yes, I know. Oh, really? Did you add a marshmallow onto that arrow? Because Gail really went for it.

[Kristen Kish]

Gail's like, I know. I felt it. It was a cupid right to my heart. It might as well have been a decently cooked egg. Really appreciate that.

[Ben Mandelker]

You've seen a million. You've seen a million tartars. You know, this was something completely new and different, possibly even better than L'Express. Because be honest, the only one who likes the express tartar is Gail. I know, right? Thanks, Tom backing me up on that one.

[Kristen Kish]

So, Mossimos, I'm so proud of my team because we worked as a cohesive unit. Go ahead, Lana, say it. As a family. Right? But that means the most is what? Tom gave me a compliment. Oh, my God. These things more than victory. They're more than victory. Potato bomb.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right, well, congratulations, Mossimo. You just won immunity, and Claire has a special prize for you. Yes. The James Beard foundation gives you the honor of having a Starbucks card. Please enjoy. $5.

[Kristen Kish]

This was a weird one, though. She goes. As a winner of this challenge, we would like to invite you to take one of our coveted spot at the James Beard Chef boot camp for policy and change.

[Ben Mandelker]

A boot camp for policy and change?

[Kristen Kish]

The fuck is that?

[Ben Mandelker]

I love this. They're gonna come to this boot camp, which already sounds ridiculous. All right, everyone, we are here at this very important, prestigious boot camp for policy and change, where we are going to enact policy and change on a global level. Over here we have Govind Anand, whose restaurants have revolutionized the space and the distance between food and impact. And over here we have Massimo, who made a really good pickle.

[Kristen Kish]

Top Chef, it's just such a shitty award to win. Like, oh, wow, I get to go to the boot camp for policy and change. Do I put that on my resume? Like, no one wants to see that on my goddamn LinkedIn.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. I can't wait for Massimo to be an ambassador to. To making a global impact on this level.

[Kristen Kish]

Girl, Massimo just got soapy water all over food last week because he was running with a bucket of soap water in the kitchen. Okay? Like, I don't. I don't want him in charge of policy and change.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. He's like, oh, I can't wait. I can't wait to be in a stuffy hotel ballroom somewhere listening to lectures and watching PowerPoints about how this shittiest award ever.

[Kristen Kish]

This is the shitty he got. Can't even pretend he's excited. He's like, wow, that is so generous. So no money? Like, nope. Policy and change. Okay. You can pay for your own hotel.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay.

[Kristen Kish]

There's no food allowance.

[Ben Mandelker]

We give you a chance. We. We give you money. It's just change about 75 cents. So, Chris. All right, green team, you lost the head to head competition, so you can come here. All right. Okay, let's start. Henry, you had the spicy pickle. Did your dish turn out the way you wanted it to turn out? Excuse me. How many times I have to tell you? Here, let me show you. Did you mean for your food to be so terrible?

[Kristen Kish]

Henry's like, no. I mean, everything was going really well for me. And then the last 10 minutes, I. And he keeps looking over at shway to say something. Who's terrified over there. He's got, like, teary eyes and he's not saying anything, which is super shitty that no one has said anything yet. So he's like, I just lost my mise en place. And Kristen goes, what? Where did you lose your mise en place? And he goes, still, nobody says anything. And he goes into the garbage can. And she goes, whoa. Into the garbage can. What kind of are you? And finally, shway's like, I was trying to be helpful and clean. Clean up. And I didn't realize that those garnishes were actually Henry's garnishes. To be fair, they look like trash.

[Ben Mandelker]

So to be fair. And I say this as someone who served a dish that looked like chewed up food. And so Kristen's like, oh, so what was missing? She's like, dill puree mixed in with some of the dill pickles and daikon that was braised in the pickle liquid and some more pickle liquid. And then three more items that I pickled and I took. I found Caesar's bedroom rutabaga. And I pickled that one, too. Sorry, bro, but, like, I had to do it, so it was really.

[Kristen Kish]

All right, stop, stop. Just listing off items in Gail's wardrobe.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sorry. Ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost. Terry Gar gave me that joke. She's a comedian friend of mine, more of a comic actress.

[Kristen Kish]

So Cal goes, well, that explains everything. And Tom's like, yeah, because you know what? We were missing pickles. We missed it. We missed the pickles.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's like every supermarket after Gail's been through it. So.

[Kristen Kish]

So Danny. Yeah, Danny says, look at the sauce. I tasted a little pickle. But the braised short ribs could have been more tender. So he did also up his short ribs, by the way. So then Chris.

[Ben Mandelker]

And also by the way, like, use. Like. Like, it's nice that the garnish has brought all the pickle. But, like, the pickle should have also been inherently part of the. The star. Of the. The star protein, you know?

[Kristen Kish]

Yeah. So now they move on to Katiana and Kristen's. Like, so when you plated that and you looked at that, were you thinking, this looks a little bit curdled? I mean, what were you thinking?

[Ben Mandelker]

Here, let me revise that. Katiana, how was today for you? Because you gave us a plate full of vomit.

[Kristen Kish]

Katyana, did you mean for this to look like a discarded liposuction bag after surgery?

[Ben Mandelker]

So Katyana was like, well, the porridge, it's just. I thought it'd be nice to have something smooth and creamy to balance it out and, like, acid and crunch. So I was like, let me add a lot of crunch to this. So naturally I reach for the tofu.

[Kristen Kish]

Yeah, Soft tofu. That's how I did it. And okay, it was a little muddled looking. And Claire Goes, yeah, that didn't translate. It felt a bit puzzling. You know, what I've learned today is pickles should speak to me. And they often did, or sing to me, or gently, gently soothe me to sleep. This did nothing but confused me. And I'd hate to say this to Pickles, but, Pickles, you confused me today.

[Ben Mandelker]

The good news is we've taken your curdled mess, and we've made it the first bullet point for our boot camp for policy and change, how to never have this dish ever appear in with him. And again.

[Kristen Kish]

All right, Massimo, your boot camp is already over. Just don't spread it around. Don't do this right? Don't do. Be like. Don't be like this idiot. So Tom's like, well, you know, the question is, what's the best thing for underneath that dish? Because you had these fresh flavors, and there's a creamy thing, and it looks broken, and it didn't have a good texture. It just didn't work. I mean, it's just like, my son. Didn't work. Never.

[Ben Mandelker]

Never did, never will. All right, Shuai, how did your dish turn out? He's like, I think it turned out pretty good. I was thinking about, you know, pickling another one other, like, I want to do, like, a one biter mushroom steak, tartares, hors d'oeuvres, and Danny's like, yeah. The way you described it as, like, fancy and trashy, I think you understood that perspective. Mainly the trashy part. Leave off the Y. Just trash, which is, you know. Well, I'm assuming why you served it the way you did. Like, so did you. Did you put it in your mouth and then directly onto the plate after that? I'm just confused about that texture.

[Kristen Kish]

So was this. Did you eat the pickle and then regurgitate that? Possibly poo it out and then you put that on a plate or. Yeah, I'm just trying to figure this out.

[Ben Mandelker]

Which end did it come out of? And Kristin's like, okay, I don't want to really think about that dish anymore. So we'll call you all out in a bit. Thank you.

[Kristen Kish]

You.

[Ben Mandelker]

So I like that.

[Kristen Kish]

He does. I think the pickle really did come through on the mushroom itself, though, you know, since it was topped with pickles. So that was good, the way that you put pickles on it. I really tasted the pickles in that topping. Because they were pickles, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I really tasted the pickle when you served us the pickle. So then Lana's like, are you okay? Schwa. You're incredibly quiet. Sort of like my parents when they had to give up their dream of a flat screen TV in order to fund my pickle frigerator.

[Kristen Kish]

Now, that said, we did spend a couple years watching Charlie's Angels in the refrigerator, so that wasn't so bad, except the pickles warmed up a little bit. But, you know, I just turned to my mom and I said, mom, I want you to remember this. We may be watching a tiny television in a new refrigerator, but we're family.

[Ben Mandelker]

We're a team. We're gonna watch this show as a team. And if later on I have to take some pickles out of this jar and reenact what happened in a puppet. In a pickle puppetry moment, I will do it. Pickle puppetry.

[Kristen Kish]

So Lana's, you know, so basically, shway feels terrible. He's like, I really feel like I screwed my teammate. Yeah, Especially when you didn't say anything until you absolutely had to. Dude, that was crazy. Like, you should have said something much sooner. I don't know when I would have run out there and been like, I just didn't suck this bad. I them up. Sorry.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I would have just started that. But he's like, yeah, I feel like I screwed my teammate. I was like, you know, I'm really glad that he feels that way, that he feels like he did that, because guess what? You actually did. You actually did do that. It's actually not. Not a feeling. It is a fact. You screwed him over big time.

[Kristen Kish]

That's sad, though, because he didn't mean it. You know, it was an accident.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, I know.

[Kristen Kish]

You know, it was manslaughter. It was pickle slaughter.

[Ben Mandelker]

Leave no pickle behind. Yeah.

[Kristen Kish]

You don't have to mean it to still go to prison. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yep. Well, you know, had Henry completed his dish, this may have just been the winning team. So he just. I just want to say, when Henry watches us back and he realizes that he could have been the hero that saved everything, and this could been a turnaround moment for him on this show, he can just think about that and know that that just never happened for him. Because of Shuai. Yeah. So.

[Kristen Kish]

And he's like, yeah, but, you know, Shuai, like, I think we all agreed that that was still a good dish. Right. So this comes down to Henry and Katiana. You know, Henry's dish was completely out of whack, which we understood why. And I can unders. I can sympathize with him, but at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And the short rib was still tough. And that this is the dish she served us. It still sucked. That said Katiana's eyebrows. I just.

[Ben Mandelker]

That said Katiana did serve us a pile of curdled mess porridge, tofu.

[Kristen Kish]

So Tom's like, well, you know what? Pickle aside, pickle decide. Okay, let's put the pickle to the side. Okay. What? It's normally how pickles are served. You know, chefs, sometimes we come into a time where pickles are served as the main course, and we think, what pickles are on the side. So pickle aside, if he had cooked his beef properly, I think I would have actually voted for his dish. I would have voted for it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, obviously, Katiana's cucumber porridge did not work. Wow. Didn't stop you from licking the bulb gal.

[Kristen Kish]

I'll tell you where it did work. It's way down your throat. Third helping. Third helping.

[Ben Mandelker]

Gail, really, if you didn't like it so much, why'd you freeze it into popsicle form for a quote unquote treat for later?

[Kristen Kish]

So funny, because one time we were trying on bathing suits on an on location shot, and I said, gail, that suit doesn't work. You look like porridge. And now here we are, all these years later with Gail, not in a bathing suit, talking about how porridge didn't work. I mean, you just can't win with this woman.

[Ben Mandelker]

As my dear friend Ghost river said, who are you wearing? And she said, a pickle.

[Kristen Kish]

So Tom's like, yeah, you know, I mean, it's Katyana's. It didn't taste good at all. And the texture, that was really bad. And if Schweid just thrown out that cucumber porridge, I mean, that would have been great. You know what? If you're going to throw things out, throw out the things we want to be thrown out. For example, why is Padma here? And Gails. Gail's still sitting there. Why is that? Tom, finish the sentence. Tom.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm a ghost. I hear everything. You can't stop. You can't talk behind my back because I have no more back. I'm just around.

[Kristen Kish]

And Gail's like, also, Katiana's was really cucumber flavored, and it was not pickle forward. There is a difference when I request pickle forward. I mean, I want pickle forward. I want to see a marching pickle. This was not pickle forward.

[Ben Mandelker]

Pickle forward. Also, the way Gail talks to her food when she wants it to come to life and go to the refrigerator.

[Kristen Kish]

On its own or as Gail's first, first ever love mate described himself. Pickle inverted.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, even as a cucumber dish, though, I wasn't enjoying it. If you put those two plates in front of you now, I'd still take the short rib with all its flaws. I agree.

[Kristen Kish]

Like, at one point, Gail was like, well, she had cucumbers with pickles on top. But let me tell you, cucumbers are cucumbers, not pickles. Pickles are pickles, and cucumbers are not pickles.

[Ben Mandelker]

And apparently Burlington Coat Factory is not Versace. Just look at Gail.

[Kristen Kish]

So they agree that the shitty short rib was still better than whatever the fuck cacciata served them. So they bring them out, and Tom's like, you know, chefs, pickles. Am I right? We have them at barbecues. We get into them sometimes when we've got tough choices ahead of us, but at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And you can always count on a good old crispy pickle. Is it Vlasic? I don't know. But I can tell you this. A pickle is always classic. Unfortunately, you guys sucked at them. All of you. Terrible pickles. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. I would sooner eat a dog poop covered in chocolate syrup then eat one of your pickles. God damn, that was nasty. Okay, I hope that was poetic for you, Claire. Oh, it was poetry, right? My ear. You just said pickle a lot. I basically just left my chair wet. Thank you. Thank you for having me, everybody.

[Ben Mandelker]

Kristen, Katiana, I'm sorry. As great as you've been on this competition, you now always have to know that you lost to Henry on something. Please pack your nerves and go.

[Kristen Kish]

Katjana, last week we thought you were going to be the winner, and this week you served us bullshit. So thankfully, you won't need knives to use soft tofu. Please pack your knives and go. Anyway, bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

As a parting gift, we got you this shipping order from Suzer Lee's next cookbook, due in eight years.

[Kristen Kish]

Hopefully it won't take you as long to get the copy of Pickleberry Finn I just sent to your mailing address through snail mail.

[Ben Mandelker]

Goodbye. Tom's like, well, you know, we'll see you in Lechon's kitchen. And, you know, just cook from your heart. She's like, yeah, I did. I used my security blanket. That's, like, literally the most cooked from the heart I could be.

[Kristen Kish]

My heart is made out of soft tofu. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

[Ben Mandelker]

I think I deserve a place back in this. Okay. If I'm not on this show. Who is going to represent a nice little puffy vest? Okay. The porridge was not broken, but it was clear they didn't like it. So I ultimately decided just to stay quiet. I think cooking wise, experience wise. I think I deserve a place. I cannot believe I lost to Henry. This is just too much.

[Kristen Kish]

Yeah. Her exit thing was a little weird. Like, no, you don't deserve it. You just served a shitty dish. Like, everybody agreed that it was a shitty dish. Sorry. So you don't deserve it. Although I still am rooting for you to win. I think she's gonna go to Last Chance Kitchen. She's gonna win, and she's gonna come back, and she saw the chance to win this whole thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think she'll. She'll win in last. I think she'll come back into the competition. Cause she was too good. She was killing it like it was her and Tristan. Oh, sorry, Tristan, I just made you go home next week. Sorry. I, like. Tristan's gonna go to the finale. Tristan's gonna go to the finale. But I may have just cursed him.

[Kristen Kish]

Well, let me see here, because I think that I've written down who we picked to win this whole shebang. It's here somewhere. Ben. Okay, so you picked for the top three. You picked Shway. Katiana and Vincenzo. And I picked terrible. I picked Zubair, Katiana, and Massimo. So I've only got one in. And you've got.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think I had one. I remember I chose Tristan as, like, my fourth, but we limited it to three, so I didn't. I remember. I. I. Tristan was, like, borderline for me, but that's a failure on my part that I put Vinnie at the. At the. At the end. That's not. That's not right.

[Kristen Kish]

He seemed like a winner. He hadn't said nomad 5,000 times at that point.

[Ben Mandelker]

Point.

[Kristen Kish]

You know.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. I know.

[Kristen Kish]

So what are you gonna do? But anyway, everybody, thank you so much for being with us. Go get tickets for our Texas shows in May. As long as our. As well as our. Sorry. As well as our Vegas show in May. [e-mail] watch what croppens. And that's also where you'll find links to our Patreon, which is where you can watch us on video like we are today, and get all of our bonus episodes. We sure love you guys. We'll talk to you next. Next time. Bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a cannon. Anthony, let's take off with Tamla playing.

[Kristen Kish]

It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet. Coutar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.