#2821 Love Hotel 0101: Time to Check In

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Summary: Episode #2821 – "Love Hotel 0101: Time to Check In"

Release Date: April 30, 2025

---

Introduction and Upcoming Events

In this episode of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive into their latest obsession: Bravo's new reality series, "Love Hotel." Before delving into the show's premiere, Ben and Ronnie share exciting news about their upcoming live shows. They announce tours in Austin and Dallas next week, followed by their first-ever show in Las Vegas. Fans are encouraged to purchase tickets and support them via their Patreon for exclusive content and bonus episodes.

Notable Quote:

Ben Mandelker [02:15]: "We have to talk about this Love Hotel. The new premiere, the much-hyped premiere which aired on Sunday night."

---

First Impressions of "Love Hotel"

"Love Hotel" introduces viewers to the luxurious and drama-filled lives of Real Housewives as they check into a high-end love hotel. Ben and Ronnie express their enthusiasm for the show's setting, praising its blend of opulence and reality TV antics.

Notable Quote:

Ronnie Karam [04:14]: "I liked it. I thought it was really good. I was actually surprised they got guys in a good age range."

Ronnie highlights the casting diversity, especially the inclusion of men who typically don't watch reality TV, adding freshness to the dynamic.

---

Casting and Character Dynamics

The hosts discuss the four main housewives: Shannon, Ashley, Luann, and Giselle, along with the host Joel Kim Booster. They commend the casting choices but express skepticism about some characters' sincerity.

Notable Quotes:

Ben Mandelker [05:00]: "I do believe that Shannon wants to find love."

Ronnie Karam [05:24]: "I believe Giselle is like me. I think she's just like, wants to be alone."

The conversation touches on Joel's performance, noting his occasional stiffness and the challenges he faces in moderating interactions among the housewives.

---

Behind-the-Scenes Controversies

A significant point of discussion revolves around Joel Kim Booster's controversial remarks about Shannon on Twitter post-premiere. Ben and Ronnie dissect the fallout and its impact on Joel's reputation.

Notable Quote:

Ronnie Karam [06:35]: "Joel had to apologize a couple of days later after he'd seversed up."

They debate Joel's ability to manage the show's drama effectively, emphasizing the balancing act reality TV hosts must perform.

---

Detailed Episode Recap

Ben and Ronnie provide a comprehensive recap of the "Love Hotel" premiere, highlighting key scenes and interactions:

• Arrival at Love Hotel: The housewives arrive amid fanfare, with Joel introducing them as the most challenging guests.

• First Impressions: Giselle shares her extensive and tumultuous relationship history, while Luann flaunts her glamorous lifestyle.

• Host-Guest Interactions: Joel sets the stage for the housewives to meet eligible bachelors, leading to humorous and tense exchanges.

• Notable Moments:

  • Luann's dramatic departure from a date.
  • Shannon's candid admission of her struggles with DUI and parenting.
  • Giselle's playful yet assertive demeanor with the men.

Notable Quotes:

Ben Mandelker [08:32]: "She's been through enough is how I'm taking it."

Ronnie Karam [15:17]: "There are some very, very macho men on this show that are like, love your job your hobbies."

The recap captures the essence of each housewife's personality and sets the tone for future episodes.

---

Hosts' Reactions and Humor

Throughout the episode, Ben and Ronnie infuse their commentary with humor and candid opinions. They mock certain aspects of the show while genuinely appreciating its entertainment value.

Notable Quotes:

Ronnie Karam [12:20]: "So there's that. And he's like, but just because they check into the love hotel doesn't mean the ladies can't choose to check them out."

Ben Mandelker [61:45]: "He rhymes, but I guess we have a long stay here."

Their light-hearted banter offers listeners a blend of critique and appreciation, making the discussion both insightful and amusing.

---

Analysis of Relationship Dynamics

Ben and Ronnie delve into the evolving relationships among the housewives and bachelors, speculating on potential alliances and conflicts. They analyze the authenticity of interactions and the likelihood of lasting connections.

Notable Quote:

Ronnie Karam [27:37]: "It's a race to the finish line. You know what I mean?"

They explore how personal histories and personalities influence the show's romantic pursuits, highlighting the intricate web of relationships portrayed in "Love Hotel."

---

Final Thoughts and Episode Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, Ben and Ronnie reiterate their positive impressions of "Love Hotel," praising its casting and captivating drama. They express excitement for upcoming episodes, anticipating more twists and engaging storylines.

Notable Quote:

Ronnie Karam [92:32]: "I really liked it. I really, I thought it was really good."

They invite fans to stay tuned for future recaps and live shows, encouraging continued support through various platforms.

---

Conclusion

Episode #2821 of Watch What Crappens offers a thorough and entertaining analysis of Bravo's "Love Hotel." Ben and Ronnie balance humor with insightful commentary, providing listeners with a detailed overview of the show's premiere and its promising prospects. Whether you're a die-hard Bravo fan or new to reality TV, this episode delivers comprehensive coverage and engaging discussions that capture the essence of "Love Hotel."

---

Note: Advertisements, sponsored segments, and non-content dialogues have been omitted to focus on the core discussions and insights presented by the hosts.

Transcript

[Ronnie Karam]

One of the reasons we love watching Bravo shows is for the luxury. I mean, come on. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, most of the time I can just watch it for the shots of the gorgeous city and the houses.

[Ben Mandelker]

And let's not Forget Lisa Barlow's $60,000 ring that she lost.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, heck yeah. If you're looking for a way to experience luxury for yourself, try Virgin Voyages.

[Ben Mandelker]

Over $1,000 in value is included in every sailing. Everything they offer, from their menus created by Michelin star chefs to their cabins designed by top international firms, is the pinn of luxury.

[Ronnie Karam]

Virgin Voyages cruises are kid free and catered to adult tastes. And they have some incredible destinations. We're talking Caribbean escapes, Iceland and the British Isles. Miami, New York. You can even live out your below deck med fantasy with their luxe voyage in the Med.

[Ben Mandelker]

I am so excited to go on my first Virgin cruise. You know, the idea of a kid free ship is very appealing to me. And all these menus, it's like definitely a boat made for Ben.

[Ronnie Karam]

It looks like a giant gorgeous club with fabulous rooms. I cannot wait to go. Book now@virgin voyages.com or contact your travel advisor.

[Unknown]

Find yourself looking for a new job or change in career? Monster.com is here to help. We are not only here to bring you job postings, but also AI interview prep and salary tools, expert career advice and top notch resume services. We've got everything you need to land your perfect job fit. Discover the magic of finding the ideal job with monster.com your future starts now. Visit monster.com today. Your next job opportunity is just a click away.

Shopify's point of sale system helps you sell at every stage of your business. Need a fast and secure way to take payments in person? We've got you covered. How about card readers you can rely on anywhere you sell?

[Ronnie Karam]

Thanks.

[Unknown]

Have a good one. Yep, that too. Want one place to manage all your online and in person sales? That's kind of our thing. Wherever you sell. Businesses that grow grow with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 a month [e-mail] Listen. Shopify.com Listen.

[Ben Mandelker]

Who cares what happens when there's so much? Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the lovely and wonderful person who doesn't need the love hotel because he has the self hotel and that's all you need in life. It's Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, hello. How are you? Been.

[Giselle Bryant]

Good?

[Ben Mandelker]

I hope that didn't sound insulting. It sort of sounded a little insulting. It wasn't meant. It was meant to say, who cares sometimes if you just have yourself? That's all you need in life. Because I know you don't. You're like, you're like you've said many times you just want to be with Bueller. I'm digging myself into a hole. I feel like I'm insulting you. And I didn't mean to.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, I didn't feel like that at all.

[Ben Mandelker]

Anyway, the point is we are here today to talk Love Hotel. But before we do that, we are going on the road next week, going to Texas. Not so much of a road for Ronnie because we're going to be in Austin and then the next day in Dallas. And then the following week, we're going to be going to our first ever Vegas show. So get your [e-mail] that's also where the dates are and also all the important ticket links that you might need. And of course, check us out with patreon.com watching Watch what Happens to watch us not just listen with Crappies on Demand. Get access to our bonus episodes like trailer trashes. We did one for Next Gen New York City last week. We'll have one up for the new below deck this week probably. And that's all the good stuff. But we have to talk about this Love Hotel. The, the new premiere. The. The much hyped premiere which aired on Sunday night. Ronnie, what did you think about the show?

[Ronnie Karam]

I liked it. I thought it was really good. I was actually surprised they got guys in a good age range. I thought they got a bunch of guys that don't watch tv, which I think is very helpful for this. Trixie Monocle is doing great work on it. I think it's pretty good casting, pretty decent. You know, it's a cheesy love show. So in general, those kind of make me sick to my stomach because I recapped the Bachelor for a long time until it made me, like, sick. But this, I believe it, you know, because I feel like you really have to have people who are looking for love. I don't believe that Ashley necessarily is. I don't believe Giselle necessarily is. I do believe that Lou wants to bang a bunch of people and I definitely believe that Shannon wants to find love. So I feel like there's something that I can believe there.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I, I totally agree. I like the show, actually. A lot. I was afraid it would be highly scripted, and it actually worked very well. It was. It was well presented. I was into it. It was breezy, it was fun. It was funny. I agree with you. I think Ashley and Giselle are a little bit of a strange choice. Not Ashley as much for me, but like, Giselle. I just don't believe Giselle really wants to find someone.

[Ronnie Karam]

I believe Giselle is like me. I think she's just like, wants to be alone. I don't believe that Dell has. I don't think Giselle has any, like, real intentions with dating. I just don't get that vibe from her. I don't know what it is.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I kind of get the sense that she went. She did that. She's been there, and she just wants to do her own thing and live her own happy life.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, she's been through enough is how I'm taking it. But, yeah, I. I did like it also, you know, Joel, the host of the show there was a huge controvers after the show wrapped because he got allegedly coked up out of his mind and went off on what a bitch Shannon is and wrote a Twitter thing eviscerating Shannon and being like, you're not a star. You think you're famous. You're not even. You're nothing. And treating people like you treat them is disgusting. And people were like, oh, my God, did Shannon treat everybody badly? Like, what is this? And then he kind of apologized a couple days later after he'd severed up. So that was a big controversy. So, of course it's fun to look and see how much the host really hates Shannon. I don't get a lot from him, though, like, as far as what he's thinking or feeling, which. He's a host, so that's normal, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, he's a. He's surprisingly a little stiff. I thought. I thought. Joel Kim, Booster. He's so, like, used to being in front of the camera. He seemed a little, like. He seemed a little ill at ease on this first episode, but maybe he'll, like, kind of settle into. Into the role a bit. But I think he does.

[Ronnie Karam]

He does a fine job. I don't think he's bad or anything. He's, you know, it's fun to see Joel up there doing it, so I think he's doing fine. It's just. I don't know. I was expecting a little more. Luann, Giselle, Ashley, Shannon. Hello, Shannon. You know, or something. I want, like, a clue of what went on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I think at this Point right now, he still likes her because he just met her. So he's still actually being like, oh, my God, Shannon. So cool. So we. We open up on the hotel, and it starts with kind of like a skit where Joel is kind of talking to the. He's like, good morning, staff. It is a very exciting day at the Love Hotel. As the love concierge, I'm about to welcome perhaps our most challenging guests, four Real Housewives. And so we see it's Shannon and Ashley, Luann and Giselle are arriving.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And he says, as a super fan and Bravo expert, I've watched them go through it all when it comes to love. And so we see past dating stuff happening. Giselle having a picnic with Sherman putting a strawberry in his mouth. And Luann and Sonia getting a photo taken with the pirate before the butt. Sex in the greenhouse. All that good stuff.

[Ben Mandelker]

All the classics. John Jansen and Shannon having an awkward kiss. So. And then we see in Joel saying how they all got. We've seen them all get married. And we see Luann dancing with Tom at their wedding. And then we see, of course, Luann getting divorced and Shannon crying last season about John Jansen and everything. Or I guess talking about. Sorry. Crying about David first and how her marriage is falling apart. So we're seeing all the ups and downs of these relationships.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes. And then it ends with Luann saying, how could you do this to me? Also, I like the new Luann voice because over the years, she has just really leaned into singing, probably improperly, let's be honest. And just smoking whatever's in front of her. I mean, I swear to God, if a duck passed in front of her, front of her, she would grab it out of the lake and smoke it. Whatever she's doing.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She talks like this now.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, hello, girls. How's everything going?

[Shannon Beador]

Amazing to be here.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's definitely like. Now that I've decided.

[Giselle Bryant]

Now that I've decided to commit to singing as a career, I've decided to.

[Ben Mandelker]

Destroy my voice even more by smoking. More than ever.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So Joe has recruited top shelf, eligible straight men.

[Shannon Beador]

Top shelf.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, questionable, but they're. They're on the shelf and they're. They're willing. You know, these are people who searched the backstage for a chance to come on any reality show for any reason, really. I don't Even if they know. If they know why they're here yet, you know, but they're here. They got some breathing men and they're here. So there's that. And he's like, but just because they check into the love hotel doesn't mean the ladies can't choose to check them out.

[Giselle Bryant]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then we see. We see a bunch of keys. This is the opening credits. Or we see keys and key holders and. And, like, we see, like, a little bit of a teaser of what's to come of choosing guys etc, using a.

[Ronnie Karam]

Lot of keys as props around Luann. And then you wonder why she fucks every guy here. You know, she got the key party. What did you think I was gonna do?

[Ben Mandelker]

So we get, like, lots of montages of stuff to come this season. And Joel's like, if I've done my job right, by the end of this romantic luxury retreat, I will be yelling at one of these women on a rage on social media, and maybe they.

[Ronnie Karam]

Might coke raging against somebody on Twitter.

[Ben Mandelker]

These women will find lasting love, and we will have. We will put the wives back in housewives. Well, I don't know about lasting love, but you'll. You'll get something maybe.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So Giselle tells us. We start with Giselle, and she's like, men need to know. If you want to take my panties off, you have to make me laugh. Okay. It's like, okay, so how's Mall Cop doing for you? All right, get in here, Mall Cop. Get on Giselle.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's not the only comedian I could think of. What's his name?

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, Kevin. Kevin James.

[Ronnie Karam]

Get in here. Kings and queens, do your work on Giselle's hoo. Ha.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Ashley gets out of an SUV at the Love Hotel, and we see her in her interview with her, and she's like, in a chair, and she's putting her legs one way, and she's.

[Ashley Darby]

Like, isn't that the ladylike way to do the legs on the side thing? Because if you're really prim, you sit like this, but if you're like a hoochie girl, you sit like this. That's what he's to say.

[Ben Mandelker]

And so she arrives and Joel says hi to her, and she says that her current marital status is divorcing.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And then we see a flashback to divorce stuff with her. And then she's like, I have two amazing sons.

[Shannon Beador]

And now, you know, they love sitting on counters. We're standing on counters or throwing fire trucks at each other on counters. So that's fun. And now I'm re establishing what dating looks like. You know, currently, I'm dating a guy that looks like Beavis from Beavis and Butthead. And we'll see if I can find better.

[Earl the Pearl]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Ash is like, so, do you.

[Ashley Darby]

Have any nice mens for me?

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, oh, I have plenty. Plenty of strange men who are ready.

[Giselle Bryant]

To leer at you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Plenty of odd backstage men.

[Luann de Lesseps]

I hope you're ready.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Giselle's coming, and everybody gets their own theme song as they come in. Like, they really gave Trixie a budget on this one. I didn't catch Ashley's, but I was cracking up at Giselle's. This is Giselle's song. I feel right. No, I feel right. That hot vibe, that self care. That good life.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love that self care.

[Ronnie Karam]

I feel so hot. I've got self care. I woke up and threw myself a party. But that's not the point.

[Ben Mandelker]

Giselle's like, okay, Cabo. And she goes. And Joel's like, oh, Here she comes, Ms. Giselle Bryant. And the producer says, well, describe your relationship history. She goes, jesus Christ, where should I begin? I'm like, it literally began there. Your husband, Jamal.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, well, I was married to a preacher who cheated on me all the time. Then I dated a married guy. Married a guy I know. Then I dated a guy who was getting blowjobs in a park. Then I went back to the preacher who I think impregnated possibly a teenager at my church. Not really sure, but he is on CNN doing good things a lot. So there's that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Giselle talks about. Yeah, all that stuff, Jamal. They got back together. It wasn't good. And then everything since. And Joel is like, like, so you.

[Giselle Bryant]

Are the word on the street in.

[Ben Mandelker]

Potomac, but are you ready to be the word on the beach here in Cabo? She's like, absolutely. Ah, that's how she does it.

[Ronnie Karam]

And I think this is a problem for Joel. And I feel bad for Joel because Joel's kind of gotten stuck with. Watch what happens, writers. It's like, you really have to be Andy to pull that off. Like, you're the word on the street in Potomac, but are you the word on the beach? Like, everyone's used to Andy's idiocy, but I think asking anyone else to say things like, you are the word on the street in Potomac, but are you ready to be the word on the beach? You know, Joel went home every night and called his agent, like, what the fuck are you trying to do to me? I was just in a decent movie this year. I'm on a sitcom on Apple tv.

[Shannon Beador]

How fucking dare you?

[Ben Mandelker]

So Giselle's like, well, I have successfully managed to get all three of My daughters off to college. Would you like to see some footage of that? Let's roll that for 30 minutes.

[Ronnie Karam]

I thought, thank God they're not showing.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Us footage of this.

[Ronnie Karam]

Thank you so much for avoiding. Here's the only footage I want to see from Giselle. Giselle making Pop Tarts or Pop Popovers. Because Giselle got me on my popover kick. That's what I want to see.

[Ben Mandelker]

So I'm officially something called an empty nester. Someone dropped off a giant dog named dreyfus, and Christy McNichol came over. I was really confused, but I just went with it. But I don't like that word. I think it's a little weird, even though it's technically two words, but however, I am that thing. Empty nester.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then it's time for Luann to come. And Luann's song is Fuego, Fuego, Fuego.

[Shannon Beador]

Mataquita, Fuego, Fuego.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She's like, hello, everybody. Does anybody have fire? My cigarette. Greta Benson. And Edge is ultralight here, girls.

[Ronnie Karam]

And he's like, here she comes. Real Housewives of New York. OG Luanda Lesseps. Countess. They say you are a countess, but can we count on you to be countessy on up? God damn it. Get me off this fucking show. I can't do this anymore.

[Giselle Bryant]

Bonjour. Oh, bonjour. Bonjour. What does they say here in Mexico? Bonjour. Oh, wow. I'm so happy to be here. You know, I can't believe that I've been single for seven years. I mean, I fucked a lot of guys, but I don't want to settle for somebody who doesn't make me happy. I just want to settle for someone who's got a penthouse and a cookie jar, you know? Someone who I have to bend backwards for in all the ways that it means, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, it sounds weird.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, I know you have fallen into a bush in Mexico. So we see a flashback to that. And he's like, but are you ready to fall head over heels in love in Mexico? He's just, like, making slight, tiny little cuts on his outer thighs. He's like, oh, no wonder.

[Ben Mandelker]

He was furious by the end of this shoot. He had to take it out on someone.

[Ronnie Karam]

I would.

[Ben Mandelker]

Honestly, I have so much sympathy for him right now having to say these lines.

[Luann de Lesseps]

I do, too.

[Ronnie Karam]

I really do. It was rough.

[Giselle Bryant]

Well, I'm ready for love. I mean, just look at me. Cabaret star coming through in a bikini. Did I think I'd be dating at this stage of my Life. No, I didn't. I've been married twice. Divorced in 2009, been to prison, been.

[Ben Mandelker]

To jail, married again in 2016. Someone threw a salami sandwich at me.

[Giselle Bryant]

Between the bars with a mustard packet on the inside. It was disgusting.

[Luann de Lesseps]

But here I am, divorced in 2017. Liza's driver, 2018. It's been a go, girls. It's been a go round.

[Giselle Bryant]

Saw Carol Radz will steal my buddy to be. That was great.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Joel's like, if anybody can handle a whole pool full of men dedicated to her, I think it's you, Luann. And then Shannon comes, and her song.

[Shannon Beador]

Is David, David, David, David, David, David.

[Earl the Pearl]

David, David, David, David. I will politely refrain from that. That cocktail. Not because I am more sober these days. It's just I'm not sure where you've sourced those ice cubes, and I don't want to get a pathogen. Thank you very much.

[Shannon Beador]

Well, I've been single for a year now, and for me, that's a very long time. The man in my life is Archie, who's a golden retriever who still sometimes won't bring me a ball. So that's great.

[Earl the Pearl]

Feels good, Archie. Archie has been mad at me ever since. I tried to blame him for my.

[Ashley Darby]

Incident where I happened to drive a.

[Earl the Pearl]

Car into a little potted plant on the side of the road. I mean, it was Archie's fault. He was driving.

[Ashley Darby]

It's not my fault, but that's okay.

[Earl the Pearl]

I'll take the fall from my dog.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Joel's like, are you ready for this?

[Shannon Beador]

She goes, I've got me. What do you mean by ready? I'm nervous. I brought some new dresses. It's always Easter in this. In this world where I'm living. Anybody hidden any eggs? It's. I'm a little girl at Easter who dressed me. Why am I here? I can't date. Who are these people? Are these real men? Are they. Aren't they from the Internet? Please don't hurt me.

[Ashley Darby]

He has risen.

[Earl the Pearl]

By he, I mean my glycemic index and my blood work.

[Ashley Darby]

Lot of sugar I've had.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, God.

[Earl the Pearl]

So we say, what's your relationship history been? I would say I'm 60, I'm single, and not the best. I was married for 17 years, and we divorced after my husband was seen walking with a slut at the beach.

[Ashley Darby]

And, you know, that's where I'm at.

[Earl the Pearl]

With that these days. That's great.

[Shannon Beador]

I'm very happy. If I live the rest of my life out traveling to visit my daughters, which they absolutely love. I'd be good. But can you imagine having a partner that has your back and isn't constantly fucking bought people from beaches behind your back? Oh, look, it's a beach. Oh, there's a blonde lady on the beach. So glad you brought me here, by the way.

[Earl the Pearl]

Can you check to see if my room is ready yet?

[Ben Mandelker]

Joel's like, I don't work here.

[Earl the Pearl]

Okay. I will have a Caesar salad if it's available, and mosquitoes on the rocks. Thank you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Still don't work here.

[Shannon Beador]

Could you just hand me a washcloth, dear? I just.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like. It makes sense now. All right, ladies, welcome to the Love Hotel. I'm Joel, and I will be your love concierge for the next few weeks. And Shannon, that is just a ceremonial title, is not an actual position. I see you're about to ask me about where the New Year's bar is, and I can't answer you.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Here's to finding love, girls.

[Ronnie Karam]

Luanna. So they cheers. And she's like, oh, I'm just so ready.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Especially after they checked my bags at the airport. Girls, get this. I was in the airport. I have a little black bag with a dildo inside. Can you believe it, girl? They opened it up, they said, what's this? I said, I don't know. Put it in me. Let's see. Am I right?

[Giselle Bryant]

We got married and divorced in one afternoon. Number three.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Joel's like, well, who needs Rosetta Stone when we've got Countess Luann? Fernando, take it away.

[Ronnie Karam]

Who needs Rosetta Stone when we've got Rosetta bone? All right, let's introduce someone named Fernando, who we'll never see again. Because this Fernando was, I feel like, their choice to be like, you know, not Love Island. Bachelor, not bachelor. What's the bachelor one on the beach? Love in paradise. Bachelor in Paris. Yeah, they need, like, a little sidekick like that. But they didn't. They wasted Fernando. Okay, Fernando, I'm sorry you've been wasted.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know who Fernando is, but, Alfredo, you're doing great work. Okay, Just wanted to say that it's.

[Shannon Beador]

Time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's springtime. I've got a travel itch which works out well since we are actually traveling for tour and being on tour for our show. That means I've got to come up with a lot of good looks for myself, because I want to try to look as cool as possible on stage. And thankfully, I have been able to find all sorts of first class quality stuff at an economic price tag from Quints.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yep, Quints Quince is where it's at. Lightweight shirts and shorts from 30 bucks pants for any occasion. Comfortable lounge sets.

[Ben Mandelker]

And the best part, all Quint's Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands.

[Ronnie Karam]

By partnering directly with top factories, Quint's cuts out the cost of the middleman and passes the savings on to us.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Quint's only works with factories that use safe at ethical and responsible manufacturing practices. I love that. And you know what I also love is that not only do I get great apparel there, you can also get like luggage and duffel bags and things like that. So like it's truly like a great place to go for your travel needs.

[Ronnie Karam]

For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from quints. Go to quince.com crappens for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com crappins to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com crapps scrapings.

[Unknown]

Everyone has that friend who seems kind of perfect for Patty. That friend was Desiree. Until one day I texted her and.

[Ronnie Karam]

She was not getting the text. So I went to Instagram. She has no Instagram anymore. And Facebook. No Facebook anymore.

[Unknown]

Desiree was gone. And there was one person who knew the answer.

[Ben Mandelker]

I am a spiritual person, a magical.

[Unknown]

Person, a witch, a gorgeous Brazilian influencer called Cat Tourists. But who was hiding a secret from Wondery. Based on my smash hit podcast From Brazil comes a new series, Don't Cross Cat about a search that led me to a mystery in a Texas suburb. I'm calling to check on the two missing Brazilian girl.

[Ronnie Karam]

Maybe get some undercover crew there.

[Ben Mandelker]

The family are freaking out.

[Shannon Beador]

They are locked.

[Unknown]

I'm Chico Felitti. You can listen to Don't Cross Cat on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they get their rooms. It's all.

[Ronnie Karam]

And we brought the most frigid person to ever appear on Housewives to actually break up with the men for you. Heather Dubrow will see your men off. Heather, take a bow.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know that Heather probably wanted that role that Joel Kim has as someone in a successful marriage.

[Earl the Pearl]

I am here to teach you all.

[Ben Mandelker]

How to have love. Okay, Alfredo is here to take your bags, so follow Alfredo. And by the way, if you are thirsty you can also visit Alfredo at the bar who is serving drinks. Thank you.

[Ronnie Karam]

So we see their rooms and they're acting like, wow. Not one of them can act like, oh, my God, look at our room. Because they're not really big rooms. They're kind of small rooms, right?

[Giselle Bryant]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Why don't they have big, fancy rooms? Yeah, they need, like, big glamorous rooms. Why'd you give them? Just like a regular queen.

[Giselle Bryant]

Yeah.

[Shannon Beador]

Was that a pull out couch?

[Ronnie Karam]

Like, what is this, a holiday?

[Ben Mandelker]

Not unlike the rooms in Panama when Potomac went there last season. So then Shannon's like, I'm sorry, one.

[Earl the Pearl]

Of my suitcases is missing. Does anyone know where my suitcase. Okay, that's fine. You don't. No. Do I need my suitcase? No, no, I'm fine. I don't need to have. I don't need to have a dress to make myself look pretty. I could just be a frumpy mess. That's okay. If it goes missing, I'll just be the undesirable one like I always am. That's fine.

[Shannon Beador]

It's fine. Fine. Just bring me a p. I guess I'll just put that on with a little belt.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they go downstairs and Joel is at the bottom staircase. He's like, hello, ladies. You all look gorgeous.

[Earl the Pearl]

Well, that's. That's a bit forward, I believe, from the waiter, but that's fine, right? It's nice to be flirted with, even if it is the staff.

[Shannon Beador]

That's very nice of you to say. Do you know where my avocado dip is, please? I called down for that earlier.

[Earl the Pearl]

And have you seen my luggage? I'd like to speak to the manager. I'm suspicious that this gentleman here may have stolen my last bag. Just wondering.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, take a seat, ladies. Not to go all Dr. Wendy on you, but I pretty much have a PhD in your love lives.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Good Lord.

[Giselle Bryant]

Free Joel. Free Joel Kabuster.

[Ronnie Karam]

Fucking free Joel. So he announces that they're gonna have men to date. And I hope you're ready for the real thing. Cause they're established, they're successful, they're adventurous, they've got great personalities. Some of them are possibly pooping their pants already. And they're all hung like bolo. And they're like, oh, so they're going.

[Earl the Pearl]

To be wearing Texas ties. That's very lovely. I enjoy a necktie. Switch up.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh. So then Giselle's like, that's a. That's a little bit much.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Don't over promise, darling.

[Ronnie Karam]

So he's like, okay, how are you guys feeling?

[Shannon Beador]

And Ashley's like, I'm really gonna lean in and really try to be present as best as I Can and by present, I mean I'm gonna do a lot of tick tocks on that beach, so.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I want to know these guys know. Do they know what they're getting themselves into?

[Giselle Bryant]

They better. And they better get into it quickly, too, if you know what I'm saying. Mama's horny. They took my vibratos.

[Shannon Beador]

Well, it would be nice to be on a show with somebody who says, oh, it's a reality show. Well, that's fun. Please don't ever let me on the reality. You know, it's not fun when they end up whore who was fired from the show 10 years ago and comes back to ruin your life on national television. That was fun. What am I doing already back here? Fun.

[Ashley Darby]

Shannon, I'm so happy.

[Earl the Pearl]

Yeah, I want someone who doesn't want to. Someone who wants to date someone on a reality show, but doesn't want to be on a reality show. So that way, when people question you about him, I can say, please, I can't betray him in this way. He doesn't want to. He's a very private person. And that always works out really well for me. Me.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Shannon Beador]

What's really important for me, I've just been through so much. I've been through so much. That's just this morning. I mean, just getting here. It was up a hill. I mean, I was in a car, but still. Have you ever been in a car driving up a hill? My blood pressure. I've been through a lot, but I really just want someone with a kind heart and a good shaker.

[Giselle Bryant]

You know what? You need somebody who you feel like has got your back when you just can put your head down on somebody's shoulder and be like, you know what? I'm safe. I'm safe. And hopefully when you put your head.

[Ben Mandelker]

Down their shoulder, they've got a little cigarette in their.

[Giselle Bryant]

In their breast pocket. You can just sort of get it with your mouth.

[Ben Mandelker]

Be like.

[Giselle Bryant]

Then you're smoking, you're happy.

[Luann de Lesseps]

I just want a guy who's. Who's not going to fight for me in the mirror. Know what I mean?

[Giselle Bryant]

I need a guy who you can rest your head on their shoulder and someone throws them a pastrami sandwich with.

[Ben Mandelker]

A mustard packet in it.

[Giselle Bryant]

It hits their head instead.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Listen, the last guy I was married to was bald. He didn't have any hair to do. He got right the fuck out of the bathroom. He poops and leaves.

[Giselle Bryant]

He knows how to lock a door. So when the feds come, they don't barge down. You can finish your Night.

[Ronnie Karam]

So we see the men assembling on the balcony, and they're like, oh, my God. So come meet your ladies, gentlemen. And Giselle's like, whoa, I'm checking out some sil. Silver foxes. That's never gonna work for me. I'm sorry. Why are there old people here?

[Ashley Darby]

Wait, say what? Now you want to date a guy that's like, a little older?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I'm open to older. You know, that typically means he has more money in the bank. So at least when we have our fake relationship on Potomac, he'll at least pay for our dinners.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, he has more money in the bank, but he's got more children in the sidelines waiting to take it after his ass dies. So it's gonna. It's a bigger battle, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

So the other guys come downstairs and a guy named Mark. You know, I think I have to. You know what? I actually have to pull up a cast of. I want to see if I can find photos. We should. Yeah, we should, because all I. The only name I know is Earl the Pearl.

[Ronnie Karam]

Love Hotel cast. Love Hotel. Meet the cast of Bravo's Love Hotel.

[Shannon Beador]

Okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

There we go.

[Giselle Bryant]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Please have pictures of everybody. Okay.

[Giselle Bryant]

Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

There's Wale. Okay, Mark. So Mark is.

[Ronnie Karam]

Where do you see those? Are you looking at the peacock one?

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm on Bravo TV dot com. I'll send you the link. I'll send you the link.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, who are the eligible bachelors? Okay, I got it. Sorry, everybody. That you have to wait for that. So we start with Wale, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. He's cute. He's like. He's like the. I feel like he's the only young one, right?

[Ronnie Karam]

He's young. He's cute. Love his hairstyle. Love his attitude. Maybe I don't trust him because he's on a TV show, Finding Love. So I. I have. Look, I have a general distrust for any guy who comes on these shows, so I'm just gonna start there. But he seems to be the best of the bunch so far, but. Okay, so I guess we don't have to go through them all right now, but.

[Ben Mandelker]

Right. We'll just have a reference. So Mark is this guy. He's the one. It turns out he doesn't watch tv, so he's a silver fox. He's from. He's a real estate. So I keep on burping. I'm sorry, everyone. I don't know why.

[Earl the Pearl]

He is a real.

[Ronnie Karam]

You're like one of the guys on this show. Okay, Everybo here, this is Mark. He's The Santa Claus of the bunch. Okay, here he is. Yeah, he's got, like, Santa Claus on a diet, and he's 61. He's a real estate developer from New York City, which may give him an.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Edge when it comes to Luanne.

[Giselle Bryant]

Mark, how are you? He's like, hi, nice to meet you.

[Ben Mandelker]

And. And they're all saying hello, and then Wale comes up and just like, Wale, like the rapper? He's like, yeah, like the rapper. And then Earl, we all remember Earl. Earl goes up to Shannon and says, oh, Earl.

[Earl the Pearl]

Oh, it's Earl. Oh, Earl the Pearl. It's a rhyme. See, I don't know if you know this, but I have a touring comedy show where I go to various clubs and put on a sombrero and then do the Three Amigos dance from 1985. It's very current work and people love it. So Earl to Pearl.

[Ashley Darby]

You're in the bit.

[Shannon Beador]

Yeah, I basically do a comedy show where I take people's names and then I find a rhyme with them. So that's fun. So hope we get along, Earl.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Earl's like, oh, that's fun. Nice to meet you. I'm like, oh, no, Earl for me. Earl's. I feel like Earl cries too much in Tom Cruise movies. Earl seems like the kind of guy who's just like, oh, my God, Tom Cruise saved a child in the movie, you know, and he starts crying. He's like, this is what America's about. This is. That's what Earl is.

[Ben Mandelker]

I feel like Earl is constantly telling his daughter that he. He loves her no matter what. What? Like his daughter's always coming to him with something that she's done where she's like, dad, I've decided I'm giving up my corporate job because I want to make it as a radio dj. He goes, doesn't matter. I love you no matter what.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay, so we like Earl then, because that's a good thing, right? And then next up, we meet Jerry, who's Reid's cheesy. He's kind of an Aaron Phippers type of guy. I believe he drinks like a lot of silver beaver. He's got, like. His haircut's a little too, like. Yeah, he's a good looking guy. I feel like he's a player in a cheese ball.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's kind of like if you know. And leave it to Beaver. The older brother. What's his name? Wally.

[Giselle Bryant]

Wally.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, God. I've been. I've been leaving beaver for half my life. Over half my life. Three quarters Kind of.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like. It's like if the beaver's brother kind of like, retired down to key.

[Giselle Bryant]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wally could be this guy.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm getting Aaron Phippers, which is not a compliment. Yeah. So Jerry is a surfer guy and just looks like. Oh, the surfer guy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Did you meet Shannon? She lives by an ocean. Shannon. Shannon has surfboards.

[Shannon Beador]

And she's like, I don't have surfboards. I don't have a job. What surfboard?

[Ronnie Karam]

Ow.

[Shannon Beador]

Ow.

[Ashley Darby]

Giselle.

[Earl the Pearl]

How could you.

[Ashley Darby]

Giselle. How could you even.

[Earl the Pearl]

Giselle.

[Ben Mandelker]

Where did Giselle go? It's just a dust cloud of Giselle after she hands off Jerry Deshan. And she's like, bye. Ya. I don't want to talk to this guy. Yah.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Luann's just looking around. She's between two guys now, and she's.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Like, wow, the ocean is crazy here.

[Ronnie Karam]

And one of the guys says, oh, we're not allowed to go.

[Luann de Lesseps]

And she goes, well, I did. I know the ocean. I know ocean. Like, I know music. I'm a boater. I have a boat. Do you like boats?

[Ronnie Karam]

And he's like, I have a boat.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She's like, I've got a Boston Whaler, which I love. Advantage. What about yours? Because.

[Ronnie Karam]

Can you sleep on it? And she goes, it doesn't have a cabin.

[Luann de Lesseps]

I don't need a cabin. I have a home. Loser.

[Giselle Bryant]

My boat.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Loser alert over here. Boat sleeper.

[Giselle Bryant]

They say, my vote. My boat is like my voice. It's flat and bottomed. All right. I love boats.

[Ronnie Karam]

So another guy comes up, and it's this Jerry guy.

[Luann de Lesseps]

And she's like, oh, come on over here, Jeff. I got a brother called Jeff. Jeff.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, it's Jerry.

[Luann de Lesseps]

That's what all Jeffs say. Am I right?

[Giselle Bryant]

Get out of here. Would you be open to renaming herself to Jeff? Just be a lot easier for me.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, so then Giselle's talking to this guy Jay. Jay's cute too. He's. He's sort of. He. He's like a. He's got, like, nice arms. So she's talking to him, and she's like, so did you know the ladies? Did you know who the ladies were gonna be? He's like, no, I had no idea. She's like, great.

[Ronnie Karam]

My reputation is safe here. Ra. Now, Jay is deceptively hot. I didn't. Jay doesn't look like he's a big worker outer to me here.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm getting secret hot.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's secret hot. He takes off his shirt later. And I was like, okay, Jay. Jay came to play. Jay's back.

[Giselle Bryant]

Jay.

[Ronnie Karam]

Jay didn't expect.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jay's hot.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jay's got those glasses. He's got a nice face. He has secret body. Yeah, we like Jay so far. Well, at least physically. So Shannon's talking to Earl Soul.

[Earl the Pearl]

She's like, oh, so, Earl. So you're not a Housewives fan, Earl, Tell me, what are your thoughts on cream cheese stuffed inside a salmon?

[Ronnie Karam]

And Earl's like, well, I don't know about Housewives, but I'm becoming one. I think I'm gonna become a Housewives fan. How about that? I'm a fan right now. I just saw a lady on Almost have a Nervous breakdown because someone suggested she had a surfboard. So I think I'm a pretty big fan.

[Earl the Pearl]

Oh, oh, oh. So you overheard that. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Mark, meanwhile, is still talking to Luann. This guy Mark is talking to Luann because Luann's between Mark and Jerry, and so Luanne's like, so he's saying, so you're. So Are you.

[Earl the Pearl]

Manhattan Housewives.

[Giselle Bryant]

New York City Housewives. Get it. Right, right. I'm a legend over there. Literally was on a show called Legacy, which I think has something to do with legends. I don't know. You should know who I am.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Listen, Santa, you should know the show because you say, ho, ho, ho, and someone literally came with a T shirt that said ho, ho, ho, because she was always calling me one. So that's. We are. It's a glamorous show.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then there's a guy named Ralph. Oh, and Ralph is. The one Ralph tells us is Ralph, Ralph, Ralph.

[Ronnie Karam]

I hate people who say this. Go ahead, Ben. Tell them. What? Tell them.

[Ben Mandelker]

I thought this was Mark. I thought this is Mark who had said this, but it's Ralph who goes, never watch. Tell housewives I don't watch television.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, off, Ralph. God. Go read a book in hell. Okay.

[Giselle Bryant]

Get him off the show. Okay, Fans only over here. I'm not above it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Ralph is a sound system specialist from Nashville. Okay, you are barking up the wrong tree talking to Luan. The last thing you want to be. The last thing you want to be doing is getting stuck in a booth with Luann's voice piping into your ears all day. Okay? No. Run, Ralph. Go to a TV store. That's my suggestion.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Ralph's don't do so well on Bravo.

[Earl the Pearl]

He.

[Ben Mandelker]

So his bio says that he.

[Earl the Pearl]

He ran around the world with rock.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bands on tour and now is the proud father and par to Sons, which means that when you talk to Ralph, he spends a lot of time being like, oh, yeah, Pearl Jam. Those guys were great. Yeah, No, I remember 1997, I think. What was it? Saratoga Springs, New York, I don't know. We had a great time. Those guys, those are good guys.

[Ronnie Karam]

Let me tell you. You have not lived until you've watched Kurt Cobain order a tuna sandwich from a 7 11. I mean, that was something. What times.

[Giselle Bryant]

Oh, man.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Earl the Pearl]

Oh.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, God. Candle box. The candle box. More like solid champ box. That's what those were. It was a box full of solid champs, those guys.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Wale is saying that he's only seen one episodes of Housewives and they were fighting all the time, so he's not sure about that show. Yeah, well, welcome to your life if you get chosen by one of these women. Okay, think this is. We're here for fun and games, sir. No.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then we have the producer talking to Philip. This guy Philip, I believe he's sort of. Philip seems like he's a little bit out of, of out of, out of his, out of his depths here a little bit. He's, he's just trying really hard. He's like, trying, I think he's wearing like a blazer maybe or something. And he just is a little, he's awkward and, and the producer says, have you heard of Shannon? And he goes, oh, Shannon Badui.

[Giselle Bryant]

Badui. Badui.

[Ronnie Karam]

Shannon Bado. Yeah, I'm calling Philip. No chance. No chance.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, he kind of looks like white from Atlanta to.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't think he's straight. I, I, I know we're not supposed to talk about that, but I'm gay and it's my right. I pay my gay taxes. So I'm going to go ahead and say this is one of us. And the reason I say this is because look at the pursed lips. First of all, he's like, he's got that, like I told you, he's got that I told you so face, which we, we often make as gays. And then later he comes in a statement necklace that just says I suck day. That's it. That's what the statement says. Sorry, Philip, but he's an investor in la. And then Shannon is still talking to Mark and finds out that Santa, it lives in New York City in the West Village.

[Shannon Beador]

My daughter just moved to the West Village. Do you know Andy Cohen? Have you seen my daughter? Have you been to a park? I love New York and I come visit. I want to see my daughter. I miss. Could you call her? Here's my daughter's number. Put it into your phone. I'm going to put you down as my daughter's emergency contact.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay?

[Earl the Pearl]

So since you live in New York City, it's a small place.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, Andy Cohen, he has the. The broker.

[Earl the Pearl]

No, no, he's part of. He's part of the network that we have our. Our show on. This right here.

[Shannon Beador]

He's.

[Earl the Pearl]

He's watching. He's. He's kind of the boss. Okay, well, that's fine. Okay, move on to the next one.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Ashley is, you know, sitting with Earl the Pearl, which is a hilarious sight to see. You know, she's just like, well, you.

[Shannon Beador]

Know, I guess I'll try. Try another Michael. Let's.

[Ronnie Karam]

And she says she's from Hot Lanta. He's like, oh, look at that. Hot Lanta. Hot gosh. Never thought of it that way. That is funny.

[Ben Mandelker]

I. I never thought about that. But you guess you really could put those two.

[Luann de Lesseps]

That.

[Ben Mandelker]

That. That adjective and that. That city together. It is quite funny, you know, Clever.

[Ronnie Karam]

That is clever stuff. So Earl is a legal consultant from Lawrenceville, Georgia. And Ashley's like, get down at the. Get down and. Oh, yeah. Hot Lana. Huh?

[Luann de Lesseps]

Wow.

[Ronnie Karam]

That is. I'm still thinking about that one. Huh? I think I like it.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Nicholas. Which one's Nicholas? Can you bring up Nicholas onto the screen?

[Ronnie Karam]

Let me find out.

[Ben Mandelker]

Because Nicholas says, look at Homie. Shoes. Show your shoes. Is he the young one with the necklace?

[Ronnie Karam]

Nicholas is the one. He's like the Peter Pan one who still kind of looks young. I mean, he's 45, so it's not like he's some old man, but, yeah, he's got this, like, goofy young person thing, but he's 45.

[Earl the Pearl]

He's in that.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's in that transitional period between young and old. So he's still dressing like he's like, 32, but his face is starting to segue into, you know, his 50s. And so he's kind of like, we're all there. We all go through it. And he's just caught in time on this show right now with this. So he's like, yeah, look at Homie. Shoes.

[Giselle Bryant]

Shoes.

[Earl the Pearl]

I'm.

[Giselle Bryant]

I'm definitely 45, though.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, yeah. He's, like, struggling to be a teenager, and it's. It's awkward, but I feel like Ashley's gonna make out with him. I'm getting that vibe. He's kind of Ashley.

[Ben Mandelker]

She will.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Age and her men, they're making fun of Earl's shoes because he's wearing white alligator shoes with eyes on them. They've got, like, gold eyes on them.

[Shannon Beador]

She's like, yeah, thighs were staring at me.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Nicholas hasn't been.

[Shannon Beador]

Oh.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Ashley goes, so have you guys been married? And Nicholas goes, oh, I haven't. And Earl's like, not to each other. Atlanta.

[Ben Mandelker]

Earl to Pearl out. I'm gonna see myself out of this conversation. Okay. Earl to pearl it out.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Nicholas is like, never married, no kids. I just, you know, I just didn't think it would be hard to find this. My person. I didn't find it would be. It wouldn't be this hard to find my. You are such a liar. Next. Nicholas, you're a player and you're a man hoe. And I don't believe that this is because you can't find your person. I believe that it's because you're still hot enough to pull tail in bars and you haven't settled down yet and you're never going to. That's what I say.

[Shannon Beador]

Let's see, Nicholas. Let's see.

[Unknown]

Here comes one right now. Some people get a wild haircut or book a spontaneous trip when life throws them a curveball. But Molly, well, she dove headfirst into a world of no strings attached sex, secret rendezvous, forbidden affairs, and unforgettable adventures. And together, we tell every juicy detail in Dying for Sex. Wondry's award winning podcast that's now streaming on a TV near you, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. And to top it off, we're dropping brand new bonus episodes where I sit down with the cast to spill all the spicy secrets, desire, friendship, self discovery, and the ultimate bucket list of pleasure. This is a story that had everyone talking. Listen to the original Dying for Sex and brand new episodes on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts, you can binge the original series before anyone else and completely ad free on Wondery.

At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather, it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to, and leave with maybe some nuggets that Help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Nicholas says, you know, I do struggle with trying to find my soulmate. I don't want to be like George Clooney, you know, but, you know, style.

[Earl the Pearl]

But like, single and fun. Like, tonight I'm just looking to spend time with Ashley.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, okay, he's a crypto entrepreneur from Scottsdale, Arizona. That's just like one big red flag wrapped up in many little red flags wrapped up in a larger red flag. Let's just. No goodbye.

[Ronnie Karam]

Every word in there. This is a red flag. Crypto, red flag entrepreneur, red flag Scottsdale, Red flag Arizona. Red flag. You're. You're flagged.

[Ben Mandelker]

You might as well just be a red flag manufacturer. Like, I produce red flags in Arizona.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, that would actually be a real job, which I would take over Nicholas. But actually, he does seem nice. And he's like, I come from a big family. My brother has four kids, My sister has three kids. So I'm like the five, Right? But like George Clooney. I'm like, if George Clooney was a Funko.

[Giselle Bryant]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Shannon's talking to Ralph, and Ralph is like, yeah, I'm old, but I've got two young guys. I got two boys that are 10 and 11, and I love it. One's playing baseball right now, one's playing football. I'm like, this is. Please don't impress me with the fact that your child is playing baseball at this moment. We played sports, we raced motocross, we raced bmx, whatever they want to do. And she was like, oh, okay.

[Earl the Pearl]

Wow. You know, I don't know what motocross is. Is that like a church with. For cars? Anyway, Ralph is very handsome and, you know, he's.

[Ashley Darby]

He's got kind of like an edge to him.

[Earl the Pearl]

I don't know. This is like that, this cool part. Like, he's cool.

[Ashley Darby]

Ha.

[Earl the Pearl]

Who says cool? A 60 year old.

[Ashley Darby]

That's me. Oh, God, I'm getting flustered.

[Earl the Pearl]

Oh, God. Motocross. Am I right? I still don't know what that is.

[Ashley Darby]

Can someone tell me?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, Ralph, let me give you a hint. No Real housewife of anywhere is going to want to hear, I love having boys and going to baseball games and racing motocross. No.

[Shannon Beador]

What are you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Are you trying to get dumped? Also, this is what Happens when you have babies at 50. This is your man. He's like, I like going to baseball games. You know, this guy fights with the referee every week. I get off my son's ass. How dare he deserve this? It's like drunk. Drunk in the back. Like, get your. Get your drunk old man out of here, please.

[Ben Mandelker]

Also. So Ralph is 61, which means that around 2002 or so. That's like 23 years ago, which is crazy. That'd be 41 minus when he was probably at 37, 38. He probably just had the worst faux hawk of the early 2000s. Just look at his face. This is a man. I guarantee he had a big old faux hawk. Hawk. And it was just probably really mortifying.

[Ronnie Karam]

He does have faux hawk face, for sure. Like, I could see that. I could see that.

[Ben Mandelker]

I say that as someone who also had a faux hawk. You know, I'm like.

[Ronnie Karam]

Wore a Central Perk shirt at least once, you know?

[Giselle Bryant]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So let's see. So Giselle is now talking. She's still talking to Jay, and Jay is saying that he was married for a while.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then he was, and.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, sorry, I removed the wrong face from the thing. So Jay was married for a while, and he's asking about her kids. She's got three daughters. Thank God we don't go into footage of that. And she's like, you know, I like Jay. He's a family man. He has kids. Check, check, check. And he's been single for five or six years, so he's hoping that he can connect with someone for real. Not just for fun, but for real.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. He's a marketing director from Boston. So Giselle is like, well, I have the house to my myself, which is scary because it's basically a labyrinth. I added different rooms to it at different times. And I get scared that without my daughters there, no one will find me in one of the many warrens in the basement. So I just walk around naked, and.

[Ronnie Karam]

He'S like, whoa, Naked, huh? Wow, you're living the dream. She's like, yep, I can walk around naked and paint any wall in the house maroon just because I feel like it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Meanwhile, there's a garbage truck picking up some garbage. Oh, wait, it's Luan.

[Giselle Bryant]

So, boys, have you been bed. How have you been? Have you been married?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, Mark's like, well, I was married for 12 to 13 years, and I've got five kids.

[Giselle Bryant]

Oh, wow. So you have five children.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's what five kids means.

[Giselle Bryant]

Wasn't sure if it was Goats, you.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Know, have you cut them off? Are they still in your will? Is there a trust? Is the trust available to me? How is this working, Santa? Just tell me.

[Ronnie Karam]

Tell me straight up now.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Tell me, do you really want to love me forever, or do you want me to have to deal with five children? Let's be real. Real. Is it too late to put him up for adoption? Tell me.

[Giselle Bryant]

Putting that in the act. Call Paula. Say, hey, it was Lou from. From the Midwest that one time. Tell her I want to put her song in the act. I'm sure she'll approve it. Hey, what about you, Jerry?

[Ben Mandelker]

Jerry's like, well, I was married for 18 years, and I've got two kids, and I moved to Puerto Rico, and I've just been dating and surfing.

[Giselle Bryant]

Oh, and now you're just living your best life in an island far, far away from cabaret. Get out of my sight.

[Luann de Lesseps]

So by living in Puerto Rico, you're.

[Ronnie Karam]

Telling me you have a lot of.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Crypto you don't want to pay taxes on, or.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now Mark and Jerry are gushing about Luann like, what a hottie. What a hottie she is. Yeah, she's so tall and beautiful. What power she has. And then we go to Jerry again, who's a retired carpenter in Anguilla, Puerto Rico. And he loves her hair, he loves her makeup. He loves the way that she sounds like a cat has just scratched a tin roof raw of all of its tin. Every time she opens his mouth, it's very sexy.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Mark tells us that he also likes her hair. Big head of hair. And he says, I mean, bang, she's from New York City. So we're sort of. We're sort of neighbors.

[Giselle Bryant]

Yeah. Well, you know who else we're sort of neighbors with? Liza Minnelli, who as I like to call my co worker, because we're both in the cabaret. Just saying.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Some people like going to Pier 27. I go to pier Liza Minnelli. We have tea, we talk about the good old days. Judy, etc. What a lorna is. You know how it goes.

[Ronnie Karam]

Chair.

[Giselle Bryant]

So Luann's like, so, you know what? I'm gonna go to the ladies room, and I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. Please stay exactly on these. So. And I will be back in about five minutes. See you never, suckers.

[Earl the Pearl]

Ha.

[Ronnie Karam]

This was so good. She literally leaves these guys alone, and they're like, she's not coming back, is she? Nope, I don't think so. And then Jerry's like, yeah, let's go Take a walk. I'm gonna leave her shoes here.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She just hitched him.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's his revenge.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Philip goes up to Luan now and he's like, so, do you need a cocktail?

[Giselle Bryant]

Is that what you're gonna say? That's the only right answer to that. And let me tell you something, Philip. I can see it in your eyes. You've got a statement necklace, and the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Only one around here who can do the statement necklace is me.

[Giselle Bryant]

So don't even try it in my presence. Otherwise, you're out of this hotel if I have anything to say about it.

[Luann de Lesseps]

I won't date you. But I will let you move a chair around in my cabaret show for free.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Mark and Jerry, I love that they're like, still waiting for her to return. So they finally get up and leave. And then Ashley is sitting with Wale and they're talking about, like jumping in the pool and oh, my God, she looks so much younger than she's saying she is. And goes, 36. That's crazy. I would have gave you like 34 for sure. Wow, what a compliment. Two years. You don't go two years. You go a decade, sir. Come on.

[Ben Mandelker]

That was one. You were 1 17th of her life off. So Ash is like, so have you.

[Ashley Darby]

Ever been in a long term relationship and. And how do you feel about children on counters?

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, well, I have. I was in a relationship for five years and we lived together and everything.

[Ashley Darby]

So why didn't you marry her?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, it didn't work out.

[Giselle Bryant]

I grew from that situation.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like the first year, it was nice to heal and I went to therapy to be by myself.

[Earl the Pearl]

You went to therapy?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes, I went to therapy. So she's won. She's won over by this guy.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, she's just like a man that's like, gone to therapy winner.

[Shannon Beador]

She's like, so have you ever tried to make a significant other? Tried to make kangaroo sound appetizing to a customer base?

[Ronnie Karam]

No.

[Shannon Beador]

Okay, let's get married.

[Ashley Darby]

You look great for 65.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I'm. I'm actually like. I'm actually like 38.

[Ashley Darby]

No, you're okay. You're like 57.

[Ben Mandelker]

38.

[Ashley Darby]

So you're like age appropriate.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ashley Darby]

It was lovely to meet you.

[Ronnie Karam]

It was lovely to meet you. Well balanced young person. Him.

[Ashley Darby]

Person who's perfect for me.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So Ralph is talking to Giselle about how beautiful her eyes are, and he's like, well, my eyes are a little red right now.

[Luann de Lesseps]

It's just.

[Ronnie Karam]

Why? You've been drinking and he's like, no, I'm just tired. And she goes, so where do you live, Mr. Ralph? And he's like, nashville, born and raised.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Boy dad.

[Ronnie Karam]

You know, boy dad ran around the world with rock bands for a long time, making records, doing tours. You know how it goes.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, it's like when you're on the road with a Izzy Iggy Pop tribute band.

[Earl the Pearl]

It's a lot.

[Ben Mandelker]

A lot of long hours. He's like, you know, I got some really, really great advice just before I went on my first tour a long time ago with Slash, from somebody who said, don't stay in your hotel room. Go out and see and do everything.

[Giselle Bryant]

I believe that was my good friend Liza Minnelli, who said, you gotta ring them bells. You gotta ring. Sorry. Continue with what you were saying.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, that's how I live my life. I want to find one great love, which is why I'm here. Giselle's like, okay, so you control soundboards. Could you do me a favor? Tell Ashley you're going to record a song for her. And don't press the record button. Thank you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Thank you.

[Ronnie Karam]

You're hired.

[Earl the Pearl]

Oh, well, meanwhile, hi, this is Shannon Medore here reporting for duty. It's my turn to sit with the very plain man. Earl. Earl the pearl. How so, Earl, do you do the dating apps? Do you know what apps are?

[Ben Mandelker]

He goes, well, you know, I have. And, man, are they disappointing, especially in, as they call it, Hotlanta. You know, there's so many bots out there and liars and scammers. You got to be careful for about all the bots on the. On the apps.

[Shannon Beador]

You know, you're right. I mean, I open a. I open my apps, and I try to get in there, and it makes me spell all these words before I can even get in there. Look at this. I have not been able to get into a dating app.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, that is a wordle. Oh, that's wordle.

[Shannon Beador]

I hate these bots. I mean, what are you. What are these bots doing? I mean, what are they, fake people? I mean, what, are you gonna go on a date and then they're not there? It's a robot. I mean, why?

[Ashley Darby]

Who.

[Shannon Beador]

Who? Why, why, Why?

[Earl the Pearl]

I mean, with the AI these days and the deep fakes, it's. It's actually. It's. It's very terrifying. Are you real?

[Ashley Darby]

Are you real?

[Earl the Pearl]

I'm. You know what? Hold on one second.

[Ashley Darby]

Joel.

[Earl the Pearl]

Could someone please. Could someone please get the bellhop over here? Joel, I'm concerned that this is not a real Person. Is this an AI person? I'm very concerned. It's very scary.

[Shannon Beador]

Okay, well, have you ever been married, Earl, to a robot?

[Ronnie Karam]

And he's like, I've been married twice to flesh and bones. Ladies, ladies. And then she's like, oh, well, how old is she?

[Shannon Beador]

I'm guessing she was in her 20s.

[Ashley Darby]

In Newport beach, because there are a lot of them, you know.

[Shannon Beador]

Wow. Aging white guy. I'm guessing you just must have dated a 20 year old.

[Ronnie Karam]

And he's like, actually, she was one year older than me.

[Shannon Beador]

She goes, oh, girl, one year old. I apologize.

[Earl the Pearl]

Are we sure this is not a bot?

[Shannon Beador]

This is.

[Earl the Pearl]

Hold on. Do you. Okay, I'm gonna bring a knife over. This won't hurt that much. I just need to draw some blood.

[Ronnie Karam]

Wow.

[Shannon Beador]

I apologize. That was cold.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then he tells the story about being seven years, and then he met his last wife who got leukemia twice and she didn't make it. And so he starts crying and. But he does say something. It's so. It was so mean for you almost giggle at this. But I was like, poor Earl. And then he goes, yeah. And I wanted to have kids then, but I didn't remember to save her eggs. I was like, what?

[Shannon Beador]

Who says that?

[Ronnie Karam]

Remember to save her eggs? But this is really sad. So he had a wife who got leukemia, and then she was fine. She went into remission, and so they had a great time and they traveled and they did all this stuff. But then she got cancer again and she passed. So this was really sad. And it's also crazy. It's also crazy to share this on the first meeting, because bachelor style, you save this up until you're about to get dumped, and then you put your trauma, you know, And I know that's cynical, but it is how it works on tv. So I thought it was nice that he put that right out there.

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen, I think that Earl knows he has to lead with that. Okay?

[Giselle Bryant]

There.

[Ben Mandelker]

There are a bunch of. Really? There's some silver foxes out there, you know?

[Giselle Bryant]

No, you know, he, He.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is going to be a strong card.

[Ronnie Karam]

Guys don't compare themselves to each other like that, though.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, you don't think so?

[Ronnie Karam]

I feel like guys don't compare each other, compare themselves to each other like that. I mean, there's nothing like the confidence of an aging man. Like, they don't know. I think he thinks he's just like the same amount of hot as, like, Wale.

[Ben Mandelker]

That is actually a very fair point.

[Giselle Bryant]

Straight.

[Ben Mandelker]

Straight men have, like, strange conflicts. Confidence, yeah. That just powers them through any situation, gay guys are like, oh, my God, I look awful. But he's. Yeah, he. So he drops this story, and of.

[Earl the Pearl]

Course Shannon's like, oh, wow, that's. I'm so sorry to hear that.

[Shannon Beador]

When.

[Earl the Pearl]

When did that. When did that happen?

[Ben Mandelker]

And she's, you know, now. She's. Of course. He's made her basically cry and made her feel bad for her assumptions, which is the way to Shannon's heart.

[Earl the Pearl]

Well, I cried, and he made me feel like a terrible person.

[Ashley Darby]

So I think I'm in love. Wow.

[Shannon Beador]

She says, earl knows what it's like to be completely in love. I don't think I've ever truly been in love before. Well, there was Dr. Moon. He was pretty great. And David did put his finger up my butt to remove psychological debris that time. I fell pretty in love that day. But we're not talking about David.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now Giselle's talking to Wale, and she's like, so my mom lives in Houston. Nah. And he's like, really? I love Houston. Houston is such an integral place of my makeup. And she goes, oh, is that where you went to jail?

[Luann de Lesseps]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, not. That's not attractive for me for you to say that. She's like, no, I didn't. I didn't. He goes, I've never been to prison. I'm not like, luann over there.

[Giselle Bryant]

Hard times in the prison. Sorry. That's a song I learned when I was incarcerated.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, I just profiled you. W. And he goes, yeah, you did. And she goes, well, you have an accent. Where are you from? And he goes, rhode Island. And she says, connecticut. Oh, no, that's a state. Oh, I'm embarrassed. Sorry.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I'm all down on with the map on the United States. So as we get past Connecticut and Massachusetts, I'm done. I have no idea what's up there. It's Canada, basically. After Delaware, it's all Canada. Canada. So Giselle's like, so, have you ever been married? He's like, no, never been married. Children? Nah. He goes, oh. She asked if he wants children. He says, yes. And she's like, well, I don't have a universal, so that means we are not compatible. Goodbye, Wally.

[Ronnie Karam]

So he's like, yeah, she's fine, but it's actually your best for me. So she asked where he's from, and he says, nigeria. And she's like, oh, that's why I said you have an accent when we sat down. And he goes, you're profiling again. She goes, oh, My God, I am. So then Joel comes back, and he's like, hello, folks. How are we doing tonight? And they're like, oh, it's Joel. And he's like, okay, don't guy. Don't worry, guys. I'm not a regular host. I'm a cool host.

[Giselle Bryant]

Be cool. Don't be uncool. Sorry. I just slide that right in there. It's kind of my thing. Mark and Jerry knows my music. Ralph doesn't have a tv, so I've got to give him all my taglines here. Wait. Hold on a second. Hey, Ralph, I made della francaise. He'll get it. He'll like it.

[Ben Mandelker]

He'll like it.

[Luann de Lesseps]

I never apologize for being privileged.

[Giselle Bryant]

It's Mrs. De Lesseps to you, Ralph.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Joel says that they have to ask guys out on dates. One on one dates, and then in the morning, that's when they're gonna do it. So Shanna's like, oh, I've never asked.

[Shannon Beador]

Anyone out on a date before. God. The last time I asked something a d date was milk. I said, is it. What's your date? When do you expire? And then I got to the checkout. I said, can you read this? I can't tell when this thing. What date, what the expiration date is on this. I said, how dare you let me buy milk. I told you to never let me walk out of the store with cow's milk again. Send me back to the oat milk or I'm calling the manager.

[Earl the Pearl]

By the way, Joel, do you know when happy hour ends? Because I would love to get some of those mini egg rolls.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, I'm. I'm not your waiter.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, okay.

[Shannon Beador]

If you insist. The art of joke dip will do, huh?

[Earl the Pearl]

Just so hard to get good service anywhere.

[Ben Mandelker]

So the ladies.

[Giselle Bryant]

The.

[Ben Mandelker]

The singles go inside, and the ladies are gonna, like, talk about things. So Giselle is saying that they're all kind of, like, upset that they have to ask the men out, because it's like, they've never done that, you know, so they're. They're not used to it. And Giselle's like, I mean, who do you want to go on a date with Ashley? And Ashley's like, well, there's this guy.

[Ashley Darby]

Nick, who I'm, like, trying to figure him out because he wears, like, puka shells. And he, like, looks 23 but also looks 63. And I just. I can't tell if I'm turned on or turned off at the same time.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And then the men are grabbing a drink and talking over at the bar. And Jay is like, so anyone can act. And Nicholas says that he connected with Ashley, so dun dun, dun. And then the late Shannon's like, well.

[Shannon Beador]

You know, I. I don't know. But you know who I love to death? Earl the Pearl. I mean, I feel bad because his feet were so mean to Peter Pan, but at the same time, he's had such tragedy in his life.

[Earl the Pearl]

He's a. He's a genuine Pearl. And you know, he's.

[Ben Mandelker]

He.

[Earl the Pearl]

He rhymes.

[Ashley Darby]

I don't know if anyone else here.

[Earl the Pearl]

Rhymes, but I guess we have a long stay here. I feel like Jay must rhyme with someone, right? J. J, the way.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, so Earl's like, we see. Cut to Earl. And he goes, well, I think I'll.

[Giselle Bryant]

Get invited on four dates tomorrow.

[Ben Mandelker]

I would say, no, pick someone else, right? I'm just kidding, guys. Just Earl to Pearl. Do you guys.

[Ronnie Karam]

So, yeah, that joke came from Hot Lanta right there. Okay, guys, so Giselle is asking if she's physically attracted.

[Shannon Beador]

And she goes, well, I mean, I. Well, there's something about him, you know, I'm. I'm attracted to his trauma. That makes any sense. Can you cuddle with someone else's trauma at night? That's what I want to do. I just want to snuggle up to his trauma and watch a mystery on television.

[Ashley Darby]

And as she's like, yeah, and the physicality could grow. I mean, you just focus on that trauma long enough and he'll become really hot.

[Earl the Pearl]

Just wait.

[Ashley Darby]

It'll happen.

[Shannon Beador]

I didn't think Michael was attractive. And then I couldn't stop masturbating the Gollum after we divorced.

[Ronnie Karam]

Divorced.

[Shannon Beador]

So.

[Earl the Pearl]

Yeah, I just keep saying Earl the Pearl. Earl the Pearl.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ashley is saying that, but Shannon also says. Shannon says, though.

[Earl the Pearl]

Yeah. Well, you know, the thing is, I also do enjoy Ralph because he's a good looking man who looks like he's emotionally unavailable. He doesn't want to be on tv. And I feel like after the first few months of our relationship, he'll probably treat me very poor, poorly.

[Ashley Darby]

So I don't know, kind of a win win situation.

[Shannon Beador]

Ralph has a haircut that says emotional abuse. So I think I'm gonna ask him out.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Ash is telling us that, yeah, it makes sense that Shannon likes Ralph because he's the tallest and the hottest of the group.

[Giselle Bryant]

And Luann's like, yeah, he's got a good face for me to sit on.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Ashley's like, yeah, he's like a.

[Shannon Beador]

Guy you could take to the country club, I guess. Well, yeah, I mean, Ralph is definitely my number one. Definitely my number one.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Luann's like, oh, look, here's.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Earl the Pearl as we speak, girls.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Earl comes over with the drink and hands it to Shannon. Now, if that doesn't win Shannon over a man bringing her vodka, that's it. What more do you need? Do you need the man to run.

[Shannon Beador]

Into a house for you? Come on, Earl the Pearl.

[Ben Mandelker]

For some reason, I can't explain it, Ronnie.

[Giselle Bryant]

When Luann said, oh, it's Earl the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Pearl as we speak, for some reason, it made me crack up. I don't know why. There's something about Luann saying earl the Pearl that just like it. Like, I just guffawed. I. I wish I could explain why it was so funny to me, but there's just something about, like, earl the Pearl. Like, that phrase is landing on Luan's radar. And then she decides that she's amused by it.

[Giselle Bryant]

And then she's like, oh, look who's here. It's Earl the Pearl. Everyone on. Come on in or roll the Pearl.

[Ronnie Karam]

So I wish it was really Pearl. I wish it was Pearl. I wish Pearl was hosting the show. She could just be like, hello, everybody. Welcome to the show. I picked some men for you. I hope you enjoy them. Just Pearl sitting up in a window on 227. All right, who wants to pick Earl? Earl rhymes with Pearl. Get him, Shannon. He brought you vodka. You're gonna ignore Pearl girl?

[Ben Mandelker]

Bachelor number one, Lester, what was Rose's son's name? Curtis. Was it Curtis?

[Giselle Bryant]

No.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't remember. I remember Lester. Jackie and Mary and Pearl, of course. Okay, so they're like, okay, well, who are you gonna pick?

[Luann de Lesseps]

And the one's like, well, I like J. Harry.

[Ronnie Karam]

And they're like, oh, yeah, we could tell Luann. And so Ashley's like, well, you don't.

[Shannon Beador]

Have to just pick one. You should ask Mark.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Giselle's like, let's talk about Wale. So Giselle likes him for Ashley. And she's like, he wants someone with the uterus, so that's not me. You get him. Giselle does not have a uterus.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Ashley's like, well, okay, well.

[Earl the Pearl]

How are you feeling?

[Ben Mandelker]

And Jenna.

[Earl the Pearl]

Yeah. How about Roy?

[Ben Mandelker]

Giselle goes, who's Roy?

[Earl the Pearl]

Yeah, you know Roy.

[Ashley Darby]

You talked to him for a flipping hour. It was just like, there's Giselle and Roy.

[Ronnie Karam]

Everyone knows Roy. Roy.

[Giselle Bryant]

It was Jeff. Jeff.

[Earl the Pearl]

Roy the boy.

[Ronnie Karam]

Come on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Giselle. I mean, Giselle's like, jay.

[Earl the Pearl]

Yeah. Oh. Oh, Jay. Yes. Jay.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes.

[Giselle Bryant]

Roy.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they start laughing, and they're making fun of Shannon. So then the men come cozy up to the women, and Shannon asks Earl.

[Shannon Beador]

So, Earl, are you an exerciser?

[Ronnie Karam]

And he goes, yes.

[Shannon Beador]

And she goes, oh, you are.

[Ronnie Karam]

Which is so rude.

[Giselle Bryant]

I don't need to.

[Ronnie Karam]

This is so rude. He's like, yeah, but I don't need to, though.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Look at.

[Ronnie Karam]

Just look at me.

[Earl the Pearl]

Have you ever thought about Earl? Would you ever consider being emotionally withholding?

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, I could do it if you need me to, but that's.

[Earl the Pearl]

You're. You're supposed to say, that's none of your business. Such a turn on.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Philip. Luanna is now between two men again. Philip and Jerry this time. And Philip's like, you gotta take a shot with me.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She goes, take a shower. Is that what you said? Sounded exactly the same. Last person who asked me to shower with them was the guy at the airport who found my vibrator in a black bag. Bag.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Wale has squeezed himself right in next to Ashley. And Ashley. Ashley's saying that, you know, to earn Giselle's approval means you must be special because she's, you know, Ashley's homegirl because they have a clothing line together. Gna like you do not. And also, Giselle is a bit of an underminer, so I don't know if it's as much of a thing of support, but that's not.

[Ronnie Karam]

You absolutely do not have a clothing line. And so then she's like, yeah, you.

[Shannon Beador]

Know, she really showed up for me after I gave birth to my son, after my separation. And at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And she'll always be my homegirl.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then people are going to bed and everything, and Luann is like, all.

[Giselle Bryant]

Right, Jeff, will you take this for me, darling? Thank you, sweetheart. Please, please take this drink for me.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, well, my name's Jerry.

[Giselle Bryant]

Jeff. Jerry. Bob, whatever. Just a penis with legs at the end of the day. All right, have a great evening.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they're, like, doing flirting while they thinks Ashley's fine as hell. They're really bonding because they talked about jumping in the pool with their clothes on, which was hilarious. And he's going to really try for Ash. And so she's like, I mean, it's.

[Shannon Beador]

The first night I wasn't expecting to meet somebody. I owe it to myself to play the field.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then we hear sex noises the next day coming from the gym, but it's just Ashley working out with Wale.

[Ben Mandelker]

Silly, silly.

[Ashley Darby]

Don't stare at My booty.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, I was though. And Giselle and Jay come out of the pool and they put towels on. And she's like, I think I've learned a lot about you. You're a morning person. You're speaking my language, but you're also very boring, which is also kind of speaking my language a little bit. Do you have daughters that have gone off to college for two years straight?

[Ronnie Karam]

So Jerry. Jerry's like, so, hey, Luanne, how's your Spanish? I can. I can't have a conversation, but I know what they're saying. And she's like, no hablo muy bien, comprendo masomanos, Toto.

[Luann de Lesseps]

That's what you just said.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's what she just said.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Do you want me to sing it for you? Well, that was me singing, so tricked you.

[Giselle Bryant]

So, Jeff, what do you think? You want to go on a date tonight?

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, I. I do. I'm honored. Name's jury, and I would love to go on a date with you.

[Giselle Bryant]

All right, see you somewhere by a rock with hopefully some oysters. Bye.

[Ronnie Karam]

Giselle asked Jay on a date, and then we go to Ashley and Wale, and she's like, I really enjoyed our talk last night.

[Shannon Beador]

Remember how we said that we would both jump into the pool with our clothes? I mean, that was meaningful. And then today we went to the gym, and that's, like, important to me. So I wanted to take the time to ask you if you'd like to go on a date with me.

[Ronnie Karam]

And he's like, what? Yes. Yes.

[Shannon Beador]

Oh, my God. Is that a Nigerian accent? Oh, my God, I love that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, he does a full on accent, which is great. And then Shannon is like, oh, Earl the Pearl.

[Earl the Pearl]

So did you enjoy our party last night? Because I loved it. You made me cry with trauma. And I was like, this is the best time I've had in three months for sure.

[Ben Mandelker]

So. So he's like, yeah, no, I enjoyed hanging out and getting to know you. He's like, I felt like I was hanging out with my friends in Hotlanta.

[Earl the Pearl]

I don't understand what Hotlanta is, but I want to preface this with, I never in my life have asked someone to go to go on a date. I mean, the fact that the bellhop came over here and said, I've got.

[Ashley Darby]

To ask a man out on a date.

[Earl the Pearl]

What sort of hotel is this?

[Shannon Beador]

So I hope you don't mind, because I'm a little nervous. I brought a little carton of milk. What's your date.

[Earl the Pearl]

It's a little humor.

[Shannon Beador]

I do that in my show. I'm working that in.

[Earl the Pearl]

Don't Earl to Pearl, I apologize.

[Ben Mandelker]

Turns out this.

[Earl the Pearl]

This milk I just drank from is actually a bottle of class, amigo. Classo. Sorry about class. Class Azul, I should say, because class is all hitting hard already. So any. Anyway, you want to go on a date with me or what?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And he goes, wow, you did a fantastic job. So they hug and check, but please.

[Shannon Beador]

Don'T bring your pets. Your shoes are cute. You can bring them.

[Ronnie Karam]

So she goes, well, at 60 years.

[Shannon Beador]

Old, I'm no longer a virgin of asking people to go on a date.

[Earl the Pearl]

I'm also no longer a virgin of having to pay back $75,000 to my. Which he has given to me as a gift.

[Ronnie Karam]

So she asked if he's going to wear the white shoes, and he's like, well, I have a variety of things.

[Shannon Beador]

And she says, well, I think you said you have 12. 12 white shoes. Just bring all of them.

[Earl the Pearl]

So Giselle and Jason buy another man shoes. Oh, jeez.

[Ronnie Karam]

This is a very low cost show as we see, because all of the dates are on the beach. They just set up little tables on the beach. They're like, here, this table is for agave tasting. Have fun.

[Ben Mandelker]

So. Well, because I think they blow their whole budget on Jay and Giselle's date because they. They are having a tequila tasting and they're tasting things and everything.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, they actually get to go to a place. That's true. You're right.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's still on the resort, you know. And then the chef, the chef brings out these tacos and he's like, well, everyone let me present the finest taco in the world. Said $25,000 for each taco because it's kind covered with lobster, Kobe beef and caviar. And also gold leaf, which, by the way, as far as I can tell, that gets you up to like $400, not $25,000.

[Ronnie Karam]

But it's just also like all those things on top of each other. Why? It's just gross.

[Ben Mandelker]

Together.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes. Yeah, it's not good. So they eat it and just. I was like, oh, caviar, I'm falling in love tonight. Caviar is my jam. So that's kind of boring. And then they go over to Jerry and Luann and they have a clam shaped bed on the beach, which is, wow, some tacky shit going on here.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Jerry's like, well, this. I got you some flowers.

[Giselle Bryant]

Oh, that's. That's so sweet. I was Hoping you'd have a yacht instead of some flowers, but that's okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, yeah, you could put them in your hair.

[Giselle Bryant]

No, nothing gets put in this hair.

[Ben Mandelker]

For less than $25,000 like a taco. Okay, but I'll take it.

[Luann de Lesseps]

So she's like, all right, let's find.

[Ronnie Karam]

A little bit out about Jerry.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Jerry. What is, what is his day like? Surfing. Surfing. Surfing.

[Ronnie Karam]

And he's like, well, yeah, actually, that's what I do.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She's like, go, gross.

[Ronnie Karam]

Then you spill champagne on her. Oh, sorry.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Well, I was gonna say then, well, there's like a moment where she is looking at their clam bed and she, she's like, oh, wow.

[Giselle Bryant]

I feel like the Little Mermaid. Let me sing as much of this song as I'm legally allowed to before Bravo has to pay some rights.

[Ronnie Karam]

We actually did Luanna's Little Mermaid for a very long segment and a recap years ago. And I love that this came back full circle for us. I love this moment. Yeah, we have often done that.

[Luann de Lesseps]

The.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then they're served oysters and everything. And he's like, well, I'll try not to eat these on your white pants.

[Giselle Bryant]

I mean, what do I care? You already spilled champagne on them like a common poor person. I'm just busting your balls.

[Ben Mandelker]

If you buy a ticket to my cabaret, all is forgiven.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She goes, life is a cabaret. Cheers to that. He's like, oh.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Wale and Ashley also have, have a beach date, and they are at a cacao chocolate making class. So they do that and she puts on a little apron. He's like, she's hot. Then Shannon and Earl meet up for their date, and she's like, wow, I.

[Shannon Beador]

Can'T wait to meet Earl more. I want to know him better. He's wearing white shoes again today, so hopefully he's going to tell me about what happened to those poor alligators. I want to hear their trouble trauma. Am I attracted to alligators now? Depends on their trauma level. Let's face it.

[Earl the Pearl]

Oh, well, hopefully we are going to do an activity that is approved of by Dr. Moon. Something that ideally does not involve any sort of dairy or pathogens. Oh, oh, it's a, it's a tray of cheese. Great. I'm going. This is. Oh, great. I, I, I just, like, fill me up with lactose. I'm very happy with this. I'm very happy with this tray.

[Shannon Beador]

So, yeah, just lactose on top of glutinous crackers. This is gonna end well. Hey, Earl, I hope you're ready for a farty party, because that's what's about to happen.

[Giselle Bryant]

Dr.

[Earl the Pearl]

Moon says I'm allowed to have one cube of cheese per month. So I guess we're gonna bust out this. This quota today, so please choose a good one for me.

[Ronnie Karam]

And he's like, well, I don't know what we're supposed to do with this bowl of seeds or whatever. We dip chips into them.

[Shannon Beador]

She's like, oh, you're not supposed to eat those, Earl. I'm marrying this man. I am marrying this man.

[Giselle Bryant]

The fact that you're supposed.

[Ben Mandelker]

He thought for a moment, you're supposed.

[Giselle Bryant]

To eat the decorative seeds.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Giselle and Jay's taco.

[Ronnie Karam]

Why do I feel like they're getting married? Does she stay with Earl forever? I hope so. I want Earl in her life.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Jay is asking what Giselle looks for. She's like, transparency, accountability, sexual proficiency. He's like, absolutely. Oh, my God. Did you just do the ah. Thing back to me? He's like, I didn't really mean to.

[Giselle Bryant]

I just got caught up in it.

[Ronnie Karam]

You get stuck in it. So she's like, well, he was hot with his shirt off, but he's very boring. So do I want to bang him, or do I want to get to know him?

[Shannon Beador]

Boring.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's not turning on Giselle juices. So she asks him if he has a one that got away. She goes, every guy has one. He goes, no, okay, yeah, I do. What about you? And she goes, well, I'm the one that got away to all the guys that I talk to. So then.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, so you're a heartbreaker. Whoa. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then on the beach, W. And Ashley are doing this thing where you have to take a skin off the bean without breaking the bean. And he can do it, but she can't. But he did, so I don't know what that means, but he's open to marriage.

[Ben Mandelker]

It means that you're ready to get married if you can peel the skin off of the cacao bean. And he can do it. He's ready for marriage. So she's like, that's cool.

[Ashley Darby]

Too young.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Shannon and Earl are drinking wine, and Shannon's like, well, I want.

[Earl the Pearl]

To say cheers to you, and I really appreciate you coming here and making yourself vulnerable. And even though the seeds were not part of the meal, the fact that you ate half the bowl is very impressive to me. Earth, Earl. Congratulations, Earl.

[Shannon Beador]

I've been looking for a man with extremely strong teeth for a very long time, and here you are.

[Earl the Pearl]

Well, I I have a laundry list of stuff about me that I think you should know. I haven't had the best year. I went down a rabbit hole path. I was miserable. I would drink all the time. I would. And I never drink and drive, ever. But I lost control and I had a planter knocked over a pansy. And you know, it was just a minor infraction, but it was all over the news.

[Ashley Darby]

Oh, wow. Lady drives over a flower pot, whoop de do.

[Ronnie Karam]

You did not just hit a planter, Shannon. That house is caved in. So we see a newscaster like, wow, Shannon Beador, what a drunk ass. Driving her house into a house, driving her car to a house house, leaving the, leaving the scene and pretending to walk her dog while she's bloody faced in the middle of the street. What a drunk idiot. Am I right, Earl? He's like, is that news clip talking to me?

[Shannon Beador]

Earl, do not pay attention to. They're trying to get me, Earl.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think there's something in these seeds.

[Earl the Pearl]

So she's like, well, I was. I was gonna keep this close to my chest for a little while, but, you know, after I had that second cube of cheese, I wasn't sure how much time I had left on this earth. So I decided let it all out.

[Shannon Beador]

Frankly, these Spanx are so tight, I can't get anything closer to my chest.

[Earl the Pearl]

Something's gotta be left out.

[Shannon Beador]

Yeah. All right. Well, I just don't know, Earl. You just made me so comfortable. I had to share with you. And I hold on tiny fingers in my eye. I've just been such a good example for my girls. And so to go through something so embarrassing and publicly like that at my age. At my age, Earl.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, for you to think about how it's impacting your kids tells me a lot about your heart, that you have the base level instincts as a parent. So that's really wonderful to hear.

[Ronnie Karam]

And hearing about your drunk driving accident makes me realize that you're basically pickled and I'm a man who loves pickles. So I welcome you, Shannon.

[Giselle Bryant]

You know, I felt honored that she.

[Ben Mandelker]

Felt comfortable enough to talk to me about her dui. And she was going through a rough spot. And I don't know one person that hasn't. And you know, that's. We all know that's hard, but you know, it's 10 years ago.

[Earl the Pearl]

It happened about six months ago.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, oh, shit.

[Shannon Beador]

Can happen again. Today I have my eyes open a.

[Ronnie Karam]

Golf cart that I'm gonna give a.

[Shannon Beador]

Spin a little bit later. Okay, well. Oh, Earl, you have such kind eyes, Earl. They're so kind.

[Ronnie Karam]

And he's like, oh, thanks, God.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Your eyes are looking right through me there.

[Earl the Pearl]

Yes.

[Ronnie Karam]

And they're in love.

[Earl the Pearl]

Do you mind if I put these two cheese cubes in your eye sockets? I'm uncomfortable with the male gaze now.

[Shannon Beador]

That I've seen Brie. I just want to gaze into it for the rest of my life. Earl, Earl, you will of cheese, will you marry me?

[Earl the Pearl]

You know what? I can't. This cheese is too tempting. Where is that waiter? You know, he was all over us talking about our dating lives.

[Ashley Darby]

Now some suddenly, we can't find him.

[Earl the Pearl]

Can't clear this cheese away.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now Luann and Jerry are still sitting inside that big foam giant clam on the beach, which is awkward as hell. So Luann is already bored with Jerry.

[Luann de Lesseps]

But she's like, all right, well, Jerry, tell me about your day. A day in the life of Jerry in Puerto Rico.

[Ronnie Karam]

So he's like, well, I surf. I'm retired.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Just don't you get bored?

[Ronnie Karam]

He goes, I mean, if there's no waves, I get bored.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Board.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'll put you on a board.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She goes, yeah, I'm terrible at surfing. All right, Jerry, so what else do you like to do?

[Giselle Bryant]

Wow, you're so boring. Bravo won't even show clips of me surfing on girls trip. Wow. That's how bad you are.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, I work and work on my house. I like to tinker.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She goes, wow, you're a homebody. You might as well.

[Ronnie Karam]

Might.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Might as well be a homo body. This one's a dud.

[Ben Mandelker]

Have them removed.

[Giselle Bryant]

All right, can we. Can we leave him in the clamshell? I got. I've got other men to talk to. I'll even talk to that weird guy with the statement necklaces.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's looking better every single passing second.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

She goes, I don't know if I.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Can retire on the beach, Jerry. All right?

[Ronnie Karam]

Know what I mean?

[Luann de Lesseps]

I'm an action figure, Jerry.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, I don't know what that means, but beaches are great. You can relax, you can unwind.

[Giselle Bryant]

All right, should we go take a walk on a beach?

[Ben Mandelker]

And by walk, I mean you walk and I run.

[Giselle Bryant]

Bye.

[Ronnie Karam]

This is so fucking funny. So she goes, you want to walk on the beach? She goes, sure, I'd love to. So they get up and they start walking, and she tells us, yeah, I'm not into Jerry. This guy, this loser who does nothing. So then they're walking on the beach.

[Luann de Lesseps]

And she walks five steps and goes, okay, I'm done.

[Ronnie Karam]

Are we.

[Earl the Pearl]

Did you.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Did you get the shot? You got us walking on the beach, right? I'm going back to my room. This.

[Ben Mandelker]

She tried to kiss.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Follow me.

[Ben Mandelker]

She tried. She tried to get a kiss, and it was.

[Giselle Bryant]

She's like, nope, nothing there.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Bye.

[Giselle Bryant]

He's done. All right. Do you need another one for safety? Okay. Otherwise, I'm going back to the room.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, okay. So then now people gather in the little living room area and get drinks and stuff.

[Shannon Beador]

And Ashley's like, does anyone have Earl's number?

[Ronnie Karam]

And Earl comes in dancing with Shannon because they're missing. So everyone's like, oh, my God. Where's Shannon? Is she okay?

[Ashley Darby]

Let's call Earl.

[Ronnie Karam]

What happened to the tiny reptiles on his feet? Attack Shannon.

[Shannon Beador]

What happened?

[Ronnie Karam]

But they come in, and they come.

[Giselle Bryant]

In, Earl the Pearl. Here comes Earl the Pearl. Speak of the devil. Here comes Earl the Pearl.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they all come in, they dip their feet in the hot tub. And Jerry's like, hey, Earl.

[Earl the Pearl]

Earl the Pearl.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're not putting the alligators in for a swim. He's like, no, Hell no. So then Ralph escorts Shannon to the bar, and he's like, so, do you need a drink? That's what they do, call them, right? I don't know. I don't have a tv.

[Ashley Darby]

Well.

[Earl the Pearl]

Well, you want to get a drink? I'll. I'll get a drink with you, Ralph. Wow. Wow. Handsome and handsome and showing no emotion.

[Ashley Darby]

Kind of my kind of guy.

[Shannon Beador]

Oh, Ralph is here. The sexy one. Oh, God, I hope he's run over somebody or had a tax issue or. Oh, God, I don't know. Please, just say there's trauma running through this man's veins.

[Earl the Pearl]

Luanna, I never dated someone more. More than one person at the same time. I mean, how do you do that? Do you do that?

[Giselle Bryant]

Date? Date. More than one. Heck, I've got 15 going in any single hour. Am I right, girls?

[Ronnie Karam]

I like to discuss.

[Shannon Beador]

Do you do that?

[Luann de Lesseps]

And Dwayne goes, well, yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Shannon and Ralph go to the bar with Luann, and she's like, hello, darling.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Listen, you don't overall anything, Shannon, all right? We're at the Love Hotel. Hotel. This is the place where you. You can whoever you want, just like.

[Shannon Beador]

You'Re supposed to, right? It's not really cheating if we're at the Love Hotel. Where is that handsome desk agent? Could you get me another key?

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm not an employee of this hotel.

[Shannon Beador]

I still don't have that artichoke dip.

[Earl the Pearl]

Okay, well, while we wait for that order to come through the service Is terrible. Ralph, why don't you share with me some trouble?

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, well, I took a year and a half off of dating, you know, because you go, all right, look, I really want to find somebody, but at my age, time becomes precious, because as soon as you realize you're mortal, for me, it was 60 years old. That's when I realized I was mortal.

[Earl the Pearl]

And that's when you found out that you were going to die because.

[Ben Mandelker]

Because I. Well, I lost my Guns n Roses collection. I was like, wow, life is short.

[Earl the Pearl]

Oh. Oh. I thought that was. Was a.

[Ashley Darby]

Okay, well, that's.

[Earl the Pearl]

That is traumatic, I guess.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, it was rough, you know, Cuz being old, you know, you're ready to die. You hit 60, and you know it's time. She's.

[Shannon Beador]

Oh, well, I just hit 60 as well, so I guess I'm gonna die.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yep, you're gonna die. I'm gonna die. And at this point, you just look around and you say, do I even want to invest time in another person?

[Shannon Beador]

And Shannon goes, oh, I say the same thing. I just wake up every morning and I say, shannon, but, door, you've got one more shot. And then I squeeze a little piece of my stomach and I shoot it inside of me. And I say, God, I better call those OIC people again soon.

[Earl the Pearl]

Get that refill.

[Shannon Beador]

Four weeks really passes in a hurry. Am I right?

[Ronnie Karam]

And he's like, yeah, I'll be dead soon. So I need to choose correctly. The next person in my life is going to be dead.

[Luann de Lesseps]

It's a race to the finish line.

[Ronnie Karam]

You know what I mean? She's like, half.

[Shannon Beador]

I just. I. Well, this has been a. I'm very depressed now. I didn't realize that I was going to be the drama.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Jay's talking to Ashley about Giselle and saying that Ashley has to put in a good word. And she's like, I'll do it. I'm going to do my best. And then Giselle is saying, listen, there's Jay and there's seven other men. So I'm not putting all my eggs in Jay basket. I just met the basket.

[Ronnie Karam]

So she's like, whoa. So you have been to 49 states? I have not been to 49 states, but I can name 47.

[Ben Mandelker]

47. I don't know. I don't. I don't know which the other three are, but I'm pretty sure they're in New England somewhere.

[Earl the Pearl]

She doesn't even ask what state he hasn't been to.

[Ben Mandelker]

What's the state he's been missing. So then Sharon sees that Ralph. Ralph is now talking to Giselle, and Sharon's like, oh.

[Earl the Pearl]

Oh, wow. So what is he doing? I thought he was. I thought he said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Did I miss you?

[Shannon Beador]

Or that she's barely a blonde and this isn't even a beach? What is happening?

[Giselle Bryant]

Huh?

[Ben Mandelker]

Sir? Ralph's like, yeah, so I was in a relationship. We were together for 17 years, but we tried to have kids, we couldn't. So then my next wife, after that, we had two boys. And Giselle's like, oh, okay. All right. Well, Ralph's a cutie pie. I didn't see him coming, but, you know, he's semi interesting. So she's like, so you got a divorce again? He's like, yeah. I mean, why do you think I'm here? Dumb, dumb. Am I right, guys? Oh, Jesus.

[Ronnie Karam]

She goes, so you got divorced again. You're not really doing good with this marriage thing. Hello. Who are you again? And he's like, well, yeah. Why do you think I'm here? So then we see Ashley talking to Nick, and he's like, oh, we had such an amazing mini date yesterday. I would hate for it to end at that. I'd love to take you out on these spectacular dates. Oh, I. Hopefully we get that opportunity, Ashley. I really hope we do. I can skateboard.

[Shannon Beador]

She's like, yeah, I think so too.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ashley Darby]

I mean, age wise, Nick is sort of the sweet spot for me where he sort of dresses like he's in his 30s, but has a face like he's getting his ARP card. That's, like a really good thing for. For me. So I'm, like, really intrigued. But I also like Wale because intellectually, I know he should be perfect for me, but sexually, he does nothing for me. So I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

[Ronnie Karam]

So while A is walking Ashley to her room, and he's like, you're. You've been missed.

[Shannon Beador]

And she's like.

[Ronnie Karam]

By me. Oh, yeah. I appreciate our time together.

[Luann de Lesseps]

It was just so good.

[Shannon Beador]

She goes, yeah, so romantical.

[Ronnie Karam]

And he goes, yeah, it's very romantic. Are you correcting me in a romantical way? Only in the most romantical way.

[Ashley Darby]

So pretend that you're 70.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just.

[Ashley Darby]

Just say it. Just say that you're 70 and black don't crack. That's really all I need.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they're going up to her room, and she's like, oh, my God, it's coming.

[Shannon Beador]

He's he's licking his lips, he's checking his breath, he's teeing it up because he's gonna put plan to smooch on me.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then they go up to the door and he's like, goodbye, it was a pleasure. And he hugs her.

[Luann de Lesseps]

It's like, do, do, do.

[Earl the Pearl]

And so she's like, oh, okay, God, kiss me, Jesus.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Wale is like, yeah, I fumbled it. Oh, man, I thought, you know what?

[Giselle Bryant]

No.

[Ben Mandelker]

And he comes back down the hallway and he's like, he knocks on the door and he's like, I wanted to give you a proper goodbye. Is that okay? And then they kiss.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes. And so that's it. That's the end. We see a preview where Giselle's like, what, am I stealing Shannon's man? You bet your ass I am. And I was like, oh, my God, yes. And then we just see Shannon having breakdown after breakdown. So it looks like it's going to get good.

[Ben Mandelker]

I really liked it. I really, I thought it was really good. I think the casting was spot on, turns out.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I thought it was a fun one, too. All right, everybody, thank you so much for being here. We will be back with a lot of lot of stuff this week, so just keep coming back. Go over to watch what crappens.com for ticket links for Austin, Dallas and Vegas coming up in the next couple of weeks. And we'll talk to you later.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bye. Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King Our.

[Ronnie Karam]

Way is the Amber way It's the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster it's always automatic deck with Ashley Otto.

[Ronnie Karam]

Ashley Savoni she don't take no baloney.

[Ben Mandelker]

Put your hands together for Carly clap. Catherine D. Bernardo has our hearto get.

[Ronnie Karam]

On the right foot with Chrissy Offa Dana C Dana do she's not just a Sheila she's a Daniella Etchells we never miss her call It's Diane call.

[Ben Mandelker]

Aaron mcnicholas she don't miss no Trickolus Hava Nagila Weber you'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones I go, you go we all go for Hugo Jamie she has no less namey we could all.

[Ronnie Karam]

Learn from Jennifer Kearns she's our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch Knock, knock, knocking.

[Ben Mandelker]

On Katie Manock's door She's our favorite.

[Ronnie Karam]

Streamer Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson get a bee in your bonnet with.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lacey B Ringing the funk It's Leslie.

[Ronnie Karam]

Plunkett she gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Berg this is Living with Michelle Vivian.

[Ronnie Karam]

I love Aya Olivia Williamson Tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson she sure is swell It's Raquel yes, we canna It's.

[Ben Mandelker]

Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Eldridge the Bay.

[Ronnie Karam]

Area and our super premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

[Ben Mandelker]

Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

[Ronnie Karam]

We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Ben Mandelker]

Let'S get real with Caitlin O'Neal don't.

[Ronnie Karam]

Get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily side Sides let's go into the woods with Guy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Tubbs who, what, why, where?

[Ronnie Karam]

And Gwen Pentland it's our queen It's.

[Ben Mandelker]

Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Know your worth with Jason Kurt we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Junie, my Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo she gets an.

[Ronnie Karam]

A It's Kelly B.

[Ben Mandelker]

We love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley we're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it It's Lola Alkalani.

[Ronnie Karam]

The incredible edible Matthew sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose we're on the floor with Molly Dorset give him hell. Ms. Noel, there's a chance of meatballs.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's Rebecca Cloud, she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a can and Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla playing It's.

[Ronnie Karam]

Always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo she ain't no shrinking violet Cootar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] [e-mail].

[Unknown]

We know some travelers crave an ocean breeze Others don't want to deal with sand, and oftentimes those two people end up together. Compare properties side by side to find yourself poolside, oceanside, and still in a relationship. Find your perfect somewhere with hotels dot com.