#2825 Summer House 0912 Part Two: Lex Appeal

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Summary

Episode: #2825 Summer House 0912 Part Two: Lex Appeal
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Lindsay Hubbard
Release Date: May 1, 2025

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Introduction to the Recap

In this two-part recap of Summer House 0912 Part Two: Lex Appeal, hosts Ben Mandelker and Lindsay Hubbard delve deep into the dramatic events that unfolded in the latest episode. They dissect the tensions, relationships, and pivotal moments that kept viewers hooked.

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Key Events and Character Dynamics

1. Pregnancy Reveal and Party Fallout ([01:17] - [02:11])

   • Lindsay Hubbard shares a humorous yet poignant moment where Lindsay declares her pregnancy to end a party.

     “I am pregnant. My unborn child. We need to eat some food and we need to go to bed, so you gotta go. Get the hell out of here.” ([01:38])

   • Ben highlights the emotional impact of Lindsay’s announcement, emphasizing the mix of humor and seriousness in the situation.

2. Tom and Kyle’s Kitchen Conversation ([02:19] - [03:21])

   • Tom Schwartz expresses newfound fulfillment but reveals a void in his life—his desire to have kids.

     “I’m very fulfilled, but there's a void in my life, and that's not having kids.” ([02:53])

   • Kyle candidly criticizes men in their 40s without children, labeling them as selfish.

     “In my 30s, I would look at guys like in their 40s, like, without kids, and I go, you selfish fuck.” ([03:53])

   • Lindsay and Ben add humor by mocking the stereotypical traits attributed to men without children.

3. Lexi’s Struggle and House Tensions ([05:37] - [07:41])

   • Lexi confronts her sister Tiffany about personal issues, revealing deep-seated tensions.

     “It’s just, like, such a shitty situation because, like, he's been painting me. It’s not like, like, true.” ([06:00])

   • Ben and Lindsay analyze Lexi’s behavior, suggesting her engagement with housemates is conditional and driven by existing drama.

4. Late-Night McDonald's Scene and Emotional Dialogues ([07:41] - [12:44])

   • Paige amusingly interacts with her cat, adding levity to the tense atmosphere.
   • Lexi and Jesse have a heated exchange about trust and behavior, escalating the house drama.

     “You’re making stuff up that he can be mad at so she can’t be mad at him.” ([19:00])

   • Amanda attempts to mediate, but her involvement often leads to more gossip and tension.

5. Group Therapy and Relationship Breakdown ([13:05] - [25:26])

   • The house gathers for a group therapy session where Lexi accuses Jesse of dishonesty and manipulation.

     “I can maybe avoid reusable plastic bags for a week.” ([04:18])

   • Jesse admits to questionable behavior during a threesome, leading to a potential breakup.

     “I shouldn’t have let anybody suck my toe. That was messed up.” ([30:05])

   • Lindsay urges Lexi to end the toxic relationship, emphasizing self-respect over societal pressures to have children.

6. Amanda and Kyle’s Lunch Date ([32:06] - [37:07])

   • Amanda discusses her pregnancy at an OB appointment with Danielle, contrasting her role as a CEO with Lindsay’s personal life changes.

     “Like, I think this is wonderful, and we need to see more of this on TV.” ([34:23])

   • Kyle reveals frustration over Amanda’s decision not to have a baby with him, highlighting their incompatibility.

     “He's never going to change.” ([35:39])

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Lindsay Hubbard ([02:11]):

  “I was like, get out. So now everybody leaves.”

• Kyle Pod Shadley ([03:53]):

  “You selfish fuck.”

• Jesse ([30:05]):

  “I shouldn’t have let anybody suck my toe. That was messed up.”

• Amanda ([34:23]):

  “I think this is wonderful, and we need to see more of this on TV.”

• Lindsay Hubbard ([35:39]):

  “I'm not gonna have a baby with someone who insists on living in the city and who refuses to move to a good place for kids.”

---

Hosts' Insights and Opinions

• Ben Mandelker often interjects with humorous observations and critiques of character behaviors, highlighting inconsistencies and hypocrisies within the house dynamics.

• Lindsay Hubbard emphasizes the importance of self-respect and personal growth over societal expectations, particularly in the context of relationships and starting a family.

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Conclusion and Cliffhangers

The episode concludes with unresolved tensions and potential breakups, leaving listeners eager for the next recap. The hosts express anticipation for upcoming episodes, teasing more drama and character developments.

“I just can't wait to watch Kyle make himself a huge victim for the next few weeks.” ([37:04])

---

Final Thoughts

Ben and Lindsay deliver a comprehensive and entertaining breakdown of Summer House 0912 Part Two: Lex Appeal, blending insightful commentary with humor. Their ability to highlight key moments and provide relatable analogies makes the recap both engaging and informative for listeners who may not have watched the episode.

Transcript

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Chico Felitti]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Hi, everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

So then Lindsay is on the microphone, and they should have let Amanda do this every time, because Amanda really does do it the best, where she's like, I don't care where you go, but you can't stay here.

[Ben Mandelker]

Every time. The saddest end to a party, Lindsay's like, ok, me and my unborn child because I am pregnant.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

I am pregnant.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just want to say I'm pregnant. My unborn child. We need to eat some food and we need to go to bed, so you gotta go. Get the hell out of here. Yeah.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

I was like, get out. So now everybody leaves. And Carl's like, oh, hey, Paige. The question is, are we gonna go for a second annual snooze? She's like, oh, my God, it's gonna be epic. Epic. Save the date, okay? Like, no, next year. Like, I need a swinging bed and then like a headstone for every time that I die.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I hope you can be there. But I guess. Wow, I just did it to you, too.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Not her at all. Another beautiful woman, Olympia du Gockusing Me.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now Tom and Kyle are in the kitchen, and Tom's like. He's like, dude, thanks again for having me. I feel like a whole human for the first time in a few years. And the shape of my human shape. He's a boy. Oh. So.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Oh, boy. Yeah. You look really good. I do. I feel good. He goes, yeah, you went to the gym. You made your bed. He goes, I did. I made my bed. You didn't make your bed. You slept on the Floor in your suitcase. You never even got in the bed.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Oh, you gotta get your first win of the day. Yeah. Well, I'm. I'm gonna start saying that my first win of the day will be getting Manda to stop yelling at me at 7am oh. So then Tom, he's like, well, I'm. I'm very fulfilled, but there's a void in my life, and that's not having kids. Like, when does Thomas Schwartz have. Have a kid? Void in his life? You are a kid. You are. And a void at the same time.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

They never want kids until the woman they didn't want kids with says they don't want kids with him anymore. And then they're like, oh, but I wanted a kid. It's always the victim, you know? Tom does it. Kyle does it. A little bit later. It's just. I don't know, it's like history. It's nature. It's nature, I guess. And Kyle's like, yeah, dude. In my 30s, I would look at guys like in their 40s, like, without kids, and I go, you selfish fuck. You know what I mean? You know, I mean, really, I'd always. I would always look at people in their 40s without kids and say, God, you must have a lot of money.

[Ben Mandelker]

I say, wow, you must really. You must. You must really enjoy going to brunch because you get to do that.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

I'm like, wow, you must be really strong against pollution.

[Ben Mandelker]

You must have everything figured out. So then Kyle, like, wow, that guy.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Can avoid putting another carbon footprint on the world. I can. I can maybe avoid reusable plastic bags for a week.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, look, I'm 42, a couple months older than you. Oh, don't say that. I'm a little boy. I'm 4.2 years old. Yeah, well, I never would have thought I wouldn't have kids by now, you know? And, yeah, I want to have a family. Yeah. Because we're going to be great dads.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Now.

[Ben Mandelker]

Let's. Let's rewind that part.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

I'm sorry. I actually kind of like you both, but probably not. And so Tom's like, wait, by the time they're 20, we're going to be like, 62. I'm going to buy you a drink. Yeah, we're going to snore. We're going to pass out in the Lazy Boy. You. But you already do that. You both already do that.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're already there. So now. Now it's 11:38pm And Paige is talking to her cat Daphne through her home Camera. She's like, hi. Hey, Daphne. Hi. Hi. Do you want to hear something? Oh, my God. Jesse said this one thing, and then Sierra was like, oh, herself. It was hilarious. I am, like, dead, dead Daphne. And Daphne's like, meow. Then, too. Meow.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

So then there's late night McDonald's in the kitchen, and Lexi calls her sister from the floor of her bedroom. And Tiffany's like, oh, my God, what happened? Why haven't you called me yet? I've been sitting here with a full face of makeup and crazy hair.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just posted a new pic on IG&I. Let me tell you something. My mood board has been updated. So he's like, so basically today there's, like. Like, just been saying this, and, like, he's been saying, like, all these, like, yellow flags about you. And, like, basically it's only talking about me behind my back. And I'm, like, so pissed. Me especially, because he, like, told me, like, he's, like, in love with me.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Oh, my God, babe, I'm so sorry. He is. Right, Mom? Yeah. We're in bed right now. Right, Mom? Yes, honey. Honey. Right, dad. Y'all need. God, we're all here. We brought home a doorman from the bar. We all missed you. We all missed you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, we're all just sitting here in bed watching the old pilot for she's the Sheriff with Suzanne Summers. Anyway, tell us more.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Don't forget, when in doubt, line your lips. Line your lips. Line your lips.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, we had a terrible night. We went line dancing, which we thought was. When you dance, when you put line on your lips, turns out it's a whole different thing. We were very disappointed.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Our lips are really thick right now.

[Ben Mandelker]

Though, so it got messy. Mom unfortunately wasn't able to dance and put that lip liner on at the same time, so. Looks kind of like you're like a. Watching a. Like a air. Air traffic map on her cheeks.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Yeah. Mom is wearing an eye patch now. But it was worth it, right, Mom? Yeah, honey, it was worth it. So Gabby comes in, and she's crying, and she's like, oh, my God. Is this all for Jo? Oh, my God, Lexi. We need to, like, slap him around a little bit. And I'm more than happy to do it. Listen, are any of the girls in there? So they're trying to find other girls, and Lexi's like, I mean, it's just, like, such a shitty situation because, like, he's been painting me. Like, it's one thing, but, like, it's not, like, true. And it, like, sucks because like now everybody's like, more hesitant to like, support me and be my friend because he made me look psycho. So you weren't really trying to be everybody's friends though. Anyway. You were. You know, I think you did that thing where you just pick someone at the beginning. You're like, we're a couple now. We just do couple things.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is like the first episode that we've really seen her kind of. I really, truly engage with the other people in the house. Like, all of a sudden, like, Lindsay's in there giving her a hug, being like, lexi, are you okay? Like, people are checking in on her. People are having chit chat with her. They're getting the deets. But at the same time, I also do feel like. Like not only has she doesn't. We have not seen, at least based on the editing, that she has really forged like, too many connections beyond conversation at kickball. But at the same time, I also feel like they really didn't have any interest in her until they found out. Wait, she has like, drama going on with like, Jesse, let's talk to her. You know, Wait a second. We're gonna bring her into the fold.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Oh. So then everybody gets ready for bed. And. And Wes is like, hey, guys, we're gonna watch Zootopia outside.

[Ben Mandelker]

I this the. Like, we're just cute. We're cute bros. So why Zootopia?

[Lindsay Hubbard]

You were just talking about elf porn yesterday. Like, just stop. So now Tom, Jesse and Lex.

[Ben Mandelker]

Here are the headlines.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

And he's like, are you guys good? What's going on? We're gonna watch Zootopia. Little boys. And she's like, oh, my God. Enjoy that. So Jesse. Jesse's like, dude, that was so bad. She didn't even try to watch Zootopia with me.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Paige. Paige and Sierra are as. Paige is in bed. Here's in the bathroom. And Paige asks what she's watching. And she has like, earwax extractions. It's nice. Like, it's a nice juxtaposition with the Zootopia, I guess. And now all the guys, they've all. They've all cuddled up on each other on the trampoline to watch. I don't even know how they're watching the Zootopia.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

They're watching it on the. The laptop.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, it's. I didn't see the laptop. I thought there was like a screen that they erected.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

No, west brought out his laptop. And I'm like, don't touch his laptop, please. Whatever you do. That is an infested laptop. You know, there's all over that. Don't touch it. So they're, like, laughing. And then some of the boys go to bed, but Wes stays outside. But it rains on his head, so he eventually has to go inside. And Tom's like, wow. He's talking to himself, singing. He's like, I love it here, but I'm ready to go home. But I love the Hamptons. I get it. It's just so, like, bougie and fabulous. But it's time to go home. I have business to attend to. I miss my dogs. Is anybody here? Anybody? I'm so alone.

[Ben Mandelker]

What business is he attending to? He's never attended a business in the first place. So then Kyle is waking up next to Amanda, and he's wearing the sloth mask, and he's like, I feel gross. And then Lindsay. Lindsay brings Tom a coffee, and it's nice. And then Lexi is in her room and she's packing, and she's. She's emotionally exhausted from hearing so many of her favorite songs last night. Just one after the other. It just takes a lot out of you.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

It's like, I'm so manipulated. So then now it's 1102, and everybody's packing and getting ready to go, and it's breakfast time. So then Jesse comes to. Oh, no. Tom goes to Paige and Sierra's room to say bye, and he's like, well, I just wanted to say for. Thanks for letting me in your happy little world. You know, you gotta cherish this. I used to have a happy family in la. Now we all hate each other. So.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, the sad state of a reality TV has been so Paige is like, well, we're gonna love each other no matter what. And if we don't love each other, then it doesn't matter. I have my bed.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

I just hope you don't have a sand of all a scandal wall. And she's like, well, as long as Amanda doesn't cheat on Kyle, I think we can get through anything.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, honestly, if he does, it'll still be okay because it'll be hilarious. Let's be honest. Yeah. So then in the kitchen, tension is. Tension is mounting. So Lindsay, Jesse's there, his frown. He's got glasses on, which means he's really sad. He's got his glasses and his cap. His cap of sadness. And his frown is really just like, frowning. And he's looking for a she pan. And Amanda's like, wow, Jesse, you're just such a lost soul right now. I feel like I did such good work Spreading that gossip and destroying your relationship. I'm so proud of myself.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

And Lexi is doing that thing where she just comes to stand really close to Jesse, but then just, like, flicks through her phone and won't look at him. He's like, how are you? Look? He's like, I'm fine. Flick, flick, flick, flick, flick. Like, like, like, like, like. He's like, oh, no, I'm in trouble. He's like, lexi, do you have some kind of special order that would make you happier than, like, here's my order. Stop talking about me. Stop talking shit about me. That's my special order. A ding. Orders up. Orders up.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I love that, like, Amanda is like, oh, my God, this is too tense. But it's also so great. I have to immediately go gossip. And she runs out of there, and she runs upstairs, and Schwartz is still talking to Paige and Sierra in bed. She just, like, goes right by him and gets into the bed. It's almost like, yeah, Schwartz, I know you're trying to have a scene with us, but we have, like, serious gossip that we have to attend to right now. There's a fight happening downstairs, and Lindsay loves it.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

She's laughing like, I like eggs on the side of you to stop talking. She goes, yeah, that would be nice. He goes, oh, I still don't feel like I was talking, though. Oh, God. So she says, okay, fine. Then we should all sit down together, the whole house, and have a house meeting about it. It's like, what?

[Ben Mandelker]

Good for her.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

She's like, let's see what everybody thinks. Because you're telling somebody, you're telling everybody a different thing. So let's see what they think. And he's like, well, that feels a little extra, but okay. She has no. Because it's like, I'm the one that's getting hurt. You know, My sister's getting hurt, my mom's getting hurt, my dad's getting hurt. And the doorman from that bar is getting hurt. Do you know that my mom woke up with lip liner all over her face and an eye patch? Oh.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Tom's like, you guys look so cozy. I don't want to rub it in, but you guys really missed out Last night on our cuddle party, we watched Zootopia. Paige goes, wait, what? You disgusting. Get out of this room right now. Yeah, disgusting.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

So they're now talking about the Lexi stuff going on downstairs. And Tom's like, oh, yeah, Jesse came last night. He was just so defeated. I've never seen anybody watch Zootopia. And Stay sad.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, he should be defeated. Oh no. But I think he's like, I think it's over. I think Amanda's like, I feel really bad. Like, stop smiling from ear to ear right now. Yeah, this is the most effective bit of telephone that she's ever done. Like, she's never been this potent with her gossip and she is just thrilled.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

[Ronnie Karam]

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[Chico Felitti]

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[Lindsay Hubbard]

She was not getting the text. So I went to Instagram. She has no Instagram anymore. And Facebook. No Facebook anymore.

[Chico Felitti]

Desiree was gone and there was one person who knew the answer.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Lindsay Hubbard]

A witch.

[Chico Felitti]

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[Lindsay Hubbard]

Missing Brazilian girls, maybe get some undercover crew there.

[Ben Mandelker]

The family are freaking out.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

They are locked.

[Chico Felitti]

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[Lindsay Hubbard]

So now all everyone's gathering around the, like, little island for breakfast therapy. So Lindsay's like, I think you guys have a lot of love for each other. I really do. But, like, I think Lexi's point was that you should. You just shared your concerns with everybody but her, and it made her feel like a fool. And it's like, she doesn't believe in brick and mortar, so get over it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Gab is like, yeah, her whole point is that the yellow flags that you were, like, talking about are, like, not really that real when she's being considerate and doing these things, even vocalizing them to you. And he's like, yeah, whatever. And Gabby's like, okay, don't, like, shut down and be like, I've been on the show longer than you. Okay?

[Lindsay Hubbard]

I love Gabby. Like, it's any of her business. She's like, I'm gonna fight with your boyfriend for you. Not my first time. And then she's mad that the boyfriend won't fight back with her. She's like, hello?

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, I'm trying to have a scene. Okay? I'm desperately trying to stay on this TV show.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Like, do you care about our relationship, Gab?

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, I'm. I'm listening. I'm understanding. I'm just. I'm not gonna continue fighting over it. And Gabby's like, we're not fighting you, though. This is not an argument. This. No one is yelling. I'm just telling you something very obvious. And so Lexi's like, yeah, he thinks everything's an argument.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Jesse, all you need to say are, like, words of affirmation. Just say, I understand. No brick and mortar, okay? And he's like, okay, I understand. And she's, yeah, but that he doesn't. And that's why me, my mom, and my sister don't want to date him anym more. And Gabby's like, I don't think that you do either. To be fair, I don't think you get it. I don't think you get it? And if you want your relationship with me to go any further, you will understand right now and say. Say you understand and mean it. He's like, I don't think I'm dating you. Oh, well, isn't that a great story?

[Ben Mandelker]

Good morning, everyone. What is going on down here? We are in group therapy. Okay. So then everyone sort of, like, started to arrive in, and Wes asking, what's going on? And Lexi's like. He's, like, talking about all the stuff behind my back, and it's, like, made everyone's house think that I'm, like, crazy. And then he says the opposite. And then now I can't trust anyone in the house. And, like, everyone's been, like. Everything's been, like, disturbing, and he's, like, getting mad at me. And, like, last weekend, like, apparently starting with you in the club and now this was good.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

See, I'm glad she let this one out and let everybody know that he accused her of flirting with west and Jessica. That's not true. Yes, it is true, you compulsive liar. We all saw it. And she's like, yes, it is. And he says, well, I was just trying to say that my behavior the weekend you were gone, besides the toe sucking. What the fuck you talking about? Besides the toe sucking? What is. What does that mean? No, we're not going to put the toe sucking aside. And he goes, but anyway, the other behavior, clearly out of line, but it was not as flirtatious as you were being with, for example, West. And west is like, oh, God. He's like, even I can't stand up for you. Come on, man. I'm trying to be on your side here.

[Ben Mandelker]

First of all, you can't excise the toe sucking. That's not just a thing. That's just not. That's. That's like. You can't just take that out. But second of all, even if there was a flirtatious vibe between Lexi and West in that moment in the club, Jesse's actions with. With Sierra were an entire weekend's worth. It was not. Not just an isolated moment. Wasn't just a dance. It was in the pool. It was here and there. It was everything. It was. It was a whole weekend's worth of flirtation. And so it just doesn't even compare. And him. And on top of that, the fact that he is still, like, framing it like, not only was what I did not as bad as what you did, he's still saying it's not as bad as when you were flirting with west. And it's like, you keep on saying that she's flirting with west and she wasn't flirting with West.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Yeah, he's making stuff up that he can be mad at so she can't be mad at him. So stupid. It's so obvious too. And he's getting caught and he just won't admit it. He just keeps lying, you know, so just Wes is like, yeah, that didn't happen. Like, clearly our friendship is platonic, you know? And so Jesse's like, look, I mean, I trust you and I trust West. And that's just how I was trying to say. That's just not how I was trying to say. You're making it sound different. No, she's actually making it sound better than you did. And so Lexi's like, yeah. And everybody's asking me why we're not boyfriend and girlfriend yet. And maybe it's cuz we don't know each other well enough. And it's like, no, it's because you have fat ass red flags. And Amanda's like, oh my God, she said red flags. It's supposed to be yellow flag. This is bad.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Wes is like, but you are still exclusive though. She's like, no, I don't even want to be exclusive. Take the exclusive and shove it out the window. I'm done.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

So Kyle's like, look, it's Sunday. Like, you guys have had tough combos, but like, you guys need to have a chat. Or maybe like. She's like, no, like every single person in the house needs to be involved because he's talking to everyone and he goes, oh, let's pipe down a little. Okay. Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, excuse me.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Go drown in the pool, Mr. Sobbing. Crying and scream. At least a quarter of the episodes every year, you don't get to tell people to pipe down. Go pee to fucking Andrea Bocelli. Okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, absolutely. He does not get to tell someone to pipe down, especially if they're a newbie and they're having like a genuine moment. And like this is part of. Like, this is like they're on a show. Like she's having it. It's like a non manufactured fight right now. And. And I love that Gabby's like, no one's yelling. Like no one's even. No one even needs to pipe down because no one's even yelling. And the fact that Gabby's had to say that like five times to people is also kind of hilarious because I was like, no, I'm just saying, like, let's. So Carl's like, yeah, I get it. I mean, that's how this can be. Like, we've all felt this way at some point, especially for those of us who've ever had to talk to Lindsay Hubbard. Oh, I'm dramatized. Oh, my God. This breakfast was a lot for me.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Guys, I just want to say I'm really proud of myself for coming to breakfast. This was, like, the first time I ate a piece of white bread since Lindsay tortured me. So I'm. I'm on the. I'm on the bed. On the bed.

[Ben Mandelker]

Kyle, thanks for telling him to pipe down. It was getting a little bit too dense for me. I was getting scared. I was almost gonna run upstairs to my bedroom and just sort of.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

So that' west and Jesse have done. They've kind of run to a bedroom where Jesse is just all defeated. He's like. I mean, clearly, all these flags I was seeing was for a reason. Like, I mean, I guess we're just not each other's person. No, you're a compulsive liar and gaslighter, dude. Like, what are you missing here? How can everybody tell you. How can the entire house tell you one thing, and you're still going to make it sound like Lexi's just some crazy biatch that's making up it's you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, because he. And he. And of course, he did the calls.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Coming from inside the teeth.

[Ben Mandelker]

The. He's. He did the thing that we predict. Predicted he would do, which is to say that there were flags, which there weren't. And then when she finally gets annoyed with his behavior, he blames it on her. Flags that he manufactured.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Yes. So he's like, yeah. I mean, she legitimately thinks I've tried to create a wedge between us and the house. I mean, it's just not true. Well, what do you call going to every single person to hint that she's fucking insane and stalking you? You. And then telling her something completely different. What would you call it? Mm.

[Ben Mandelker]

And honestly, you're allowed, obviously, to talk. I'm like, obviously. You're obviously allowed to obviously do this, but you're allowed, obviously.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Obviously.

[Ben Mandelker]

So obviously, obviously, you're allowed to talk to your friends and say, yeah, it's going great. I have some concerns about X, Y, and Z, but I think that, as a whole, about how he's handled this relationship, it's just been really shady because he's made. Again, he made her seem like, oh, she's the one with all these weird jealousy issues when he's been the one who's been aggressive about that. And he also, I think if he had taken accountability for his behavior that one weekend, I think he could have survived this, but he really hasn't. And now it's just too much. It's. It's over.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Yeah. So he's like, you know, I mean, she wanted to make it work. I'd, like, be open to it, but it's just like becoming more of a negative stressor, you know, and. But he's. He's obviously depressed. I think he's more embarrassed that he got called out in front of everybody. So Wes goes, yeah, good old breakup after five weeks, huh? Like, hello, it's been five minutes. So then it's time to go. So everybody leaves, and then Tom is left there all alone on the doorstep. They're, hey, you want to ride, bro? And he's like, no, my guy's coming in a minute. I just wanted to make sure that there was one close. I got the Uber that, well, that I was pretty sure was going to tell me. I'm going to be a good father one day.

[Ben Mandelker]

Guys, he just left on the stoop, just kicking his feet in the air.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

It's like the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Tom's like, giving him, like, a lookout. I know they should have given him a little balloon to hold. So guess what? It's time to go to New York City. It's Monday. It's 11:20am and Lindsay and Danielle are at Lindsay's OB appointment. So Danielle is here and she's like, oh, my God, I can't believe this is happening. We are in such different positions than we were a year ago. I mean, you're pregnant. And I'm still the CEO and founder of a soon to be very successful app. I'm sure we'll. Success is just around the Riverbend.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

So they look at the baby, they get the sonogram, and you can see the little baby. And the baby. Kid aches. And Danielle's like, oh, like. Like she's gonna like, tear the out of Lindsay, right? Like it's gonna hurt, right? Like, what are you gonna do about that? Lindsay? Lindsay, the baby's gonna hurt. It's gonna tear you. Liz is like. And the nurse is like, well, you put your fingers in with some lube and then you. You rub. Unless he's like, so, like, I'm gonna be jerking off. I'm gonna be like a finger banging. That was like a storyline that's hilarious.

[Ben Mandelker]

And we get flashbacks of like, finger bang. We finger bang the ninjas. Oh, it's a finger bang finger banger.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Finger bang.

[Ben Mandelker]

Finger Bag.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Even back then, there were hints that Carl's dick didn't work right. Even back then, we didn't pay attention.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's a soft finger, so. Yeah, so they do that. I still don't like that.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

That was a pool noodle. Well, I pulled. I pulled Noodle Bang, too, to be specific.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, when we talk about gaslighting, I'll tell you the biggest gaslighter is. It's. It's obs with those ultrasounds. Because every single time, like. Well, now, look here. There's the eyes and there's the cheeks. Oh, look, you're saying it's wearing a little fedora. And, oh, my goodness, it is doing. It is doing some dancing from west side Story, isn't that. I'm like, I see nothing.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Your baby has a calculator and a tutu. Very smart ballerina bun head, we call her.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm like, this is a blob. I see nothing. How are you telling me there's an eye and a face there? And everyone's like, oh, my God, I see it. It's so cute. I'm like, I see nothing. Sometimes I can see a little hand. That's it.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

We'd be terrible doctors. We're just doing, like, the Rorschach test. We're like, umbrella, rain boat. It's spaceship, teddy bear.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's win, loser, draw. And Vicki, we just like, okay, we're gonna bring in Vicki Lawrence right now, and we're gonna try to figure out what this sonogram says.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

I'm Vicki Gulfelson, here to deliver your baby. Let me. Let me. Let me spread you open. Look at that. Okay, baby. Hi. Vicki Gulfstead. Get a job.

[Ben Mandelker]

Get a face that looks clearer.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Okay, and now Jesse and Lexi meet up, and it's 1:13, so we know it's very dramatic. So we go to her house. We're in her apartment, and Tiffany's, like, hiding under the couch. She's like, I got you, girl. I got you too, honey. Mom, you just see a little glittery eye patch from behind a ficus.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jesse's like, how are you? She's like, good for you. She's like, definitely better. It's kind of weird sitting here while your sister's trying to put lip liner on my lips. I'm just trying to have this conversation away for a second. Thanks.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

You know, it just really shocked me, like, how angry you were with me, you know? Like, I just didn't like that you were making me out to be, like, a moment monster. She goes, in what way? Well, like, I was, like, trying to make you look jealous and crazy and, like, I was being strategic and manipulative. I don't like that you made me look like that. You made you look like that. Okay. She just had the nerve to talk to other people about what you were doing and put the. Put the dots together. What do you call it? Strutting the dots.

[Ben Mandelker]

Connect the dots.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

You could just connected the dots, sir. Okay. Which currently your mother is still unable to do under the couch. She's like.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's had a little bit of vertigo since that line dancing. It was a lot for her. So Jesse's like, yeah, I just don't know if we're gonna. If you're gonna be able to trust me. And I'm not gonna defend my behavior. Like, I know that I shouldn't have let anybody suck my toe. Like, that was messed up. So I'm like, sorry, and I should have gone about things differently, and I didn't realize it was gonna be this messed up, and I didn't mean it. And, like, I don't know. I just don't want to stop seeing each other based off of someone sucking my toe in a threesome that I participated in for 37 minutes.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

He's doing that thing where he's like, okay, well, you know, I don't want to break up with you, but if you're going to keep on about all this nonsense, I mean, I guess we're going to. You know, that's kind of how he's coming in instead of with, like, an honest. Sorry. So she. She goes, normally in relationships, I'm not, like, really a fighter. You know what I mean? So, like, I just, like. I'm like, bye. You're dead to me. So, like, maybe we're just, like, not compatible. And he's like, oh, oh, well. But, like, clearly we have, like, a great connection. Like, I mean, like, is this something I can change? Like, now he's gonna change his tune because she's not fun for this shit, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

And she's like, yeah, I think it's just a choice that we have to make, and is it worth trying or is it not? And that's kind of like a cliffhanger with them. We don't. We don't really see where they land with that.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

I'll just dump him. Just break up with him. No, it's not. I mean, if he's already acting like this, just break up with him. Then you get to him, be awkward and sulky for the next two weeks. In the House. That'll be fun. And then try and lay you back if he wants to, but have some self respect. Get rid of him.

[Ben Mandelker]

I. I want her to date like a really hot like athlete or celebrity and then just bring him to the summer house every week next. Next summer and just make him feel super awkward about it. Who is the one who brought Madonna's ex boyfriend? Who or the guy who wound up dating Madonna afterwards? Was that Danielle? Did Danielle bring that guy? Doesn't matter. Remember what I'm talking?

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Oh, no, I do.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was that blonde girl. That blonde girl.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Yeah. I don't remember. I mean, I remember that happening, but I don't remember who did it. Part of me was like, was it Hannah? It wasn't Hannah.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, it was. It was the blonde girl who. Who she was dating. Corey.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Oh, yeah. Oh, God, yeah. Stop trying to make me look crazy, Corey. It was like almost an identical storyline. So now it's Thursday and Kyle and Amanda are on a lunch date. Let's see how Kyle can learn. Let's see how Kyle can cry. In this scene, every time Kyle goes on a lunch date with Amanda, I'm like, oh, my God, Carl. Kyle's probably gonna cry. And I can't wait to see it.

[Ben Mandelker]

They were on top of the refinery hotel, by the way. I noticed. So they're on a lunch date and Kyle's like, well, it's been a long time.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

I can see why she was confused about the burrata because I was confused there too. I was like, whatever it was.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know what I love? In all the years of Bravo? Ordering, they never really critique the food that they get. The food just arrives and they just keep on talking. But this is like Amanda ordered a bruschetta. Bruschetta that had a burrata. And she's like, oh, this is it. I thought the tomatoes. I thought there'd be tomatoes. And that's burrata. What is this place? Yeah.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

She's like, yeah, I guess maybe it was my fault for reading the menu wrong. Whatever, it's free. So Kyle's like, oh, hey, I had some blood work done unbeknownst to you. Surprise. You know, and there was something a little concerning. He said my blood cells were trying to mix Taylor Dane with Parvarati.

[Ben Mandelker]

So apparently the doctor said there's no fountain in hell that would play those two together.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

So Matt is like, I mean, is there something we should be worried about? He's. Well, my body is like so stressed. It is like over pumping C semen. So, like lots of semen.

[Ben Mandelker]

Can you imagine if I'm sterile? I mean, at least my guys don't have strange heads like Tom Schwartz's do, you know, But. And she's like, well, is there. She's like, is there a chance you might be sterile? Because if that's True, I'm batting 2 for 2 this episode. I break up someone with my gossip, and second of all, I don't have to have a baby with you. Come on, let's do it.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

I really thought I was gonna want to have babies with you once you got rid of the mullet, but it didn't help. He's like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Pain. She's like, well, I don't know. Like, I'm in a weird place. Like, I'm a bathing suit designer now, you know? And I'm like, you know, some days I feel like, why am I not pregnant? But then the other days, I'm like, why would I be pregnant right now? Gross.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, basically, you. You took away her dream of moving to New Jersey. And she's like, yeah, well, fine. I'm not gonna have a baby. Then she's like, Amanda's like, I don't know, maybe, like, a year from now or. I just. I've just been struggling a lot, and I don't know, I'm just, like, not suited to take care of something else. I love this for her so much. I love that she wants to take care of herself first. She's not feeling obligated to any timeline that's being put on her by a guy or society, whatever. She just wants to focus on herself. And I think this is wonderful, and we need to see more of this on tv.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Well, I worry that Amanda's just, like, given up because it's Kyle, and he's never going to change. And she's like, well, I'm not having baby. I'm not having a baby with someone who insists on living in the. The city and who refuses to, like, move to a good place for kids and then decides to start DJing to give himself an excuse to be wasted five nights a week till five in the morning, out with strangers.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I'm gonna do it all, I guess.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

I'm not gonna have a baby. You know what I mean? Because she always really wanted kids. So I'm just hoping she's not doing it because she's just kind of given up on Kyle as an option. But she's gonna stay with Kyle, if that makes any sense. But if that's really what she wants of Course. Good for her. And it's going to be hilarious to watch how it changes Kyle, because now that she doesn't want a. Carl's gonna act like a huge victim. Like, oh, but she said she wanted a baby. Now she's taking it back on me. What am I gonna do when he's been the one kicking his feet about a baby this whole time?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I mean, we're coming up on three years married. My dad turns 81 in August, and.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Yeah, well, you don't have kids for your parents. That's so stupid. That's the dumbest plan ever. And people do it all the time. But you should never. That should never be a reason to have kids. Your dad's gonna be old and dead no matter. No matter what you do. So have kids when you're ready, okay? His ghost can be proud of you doing it the right time. Time.

[Ben Mandelker]

No offense. And he's like. I mean, time is ticking, you know? And 90% of the blood, sweat, and tears I put into, like, Glover Boys for our future. Well, actually, it's really just to fund the DJ equipment. I've got a sick remix of Bruce Hornsby I'm working on right now. And our kids in my mind, like, the only true payoff is there's just, like, something more than once in my life right now. She's like, yeah, but, like, I mean, it's not like you're sitting here itching and eager. It's not like you're asking me every day to have kids. Kids. He's like, I know, man. I just didn't expect you to say that.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Yeah, that's how we end.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wow. Will they ever have super sad stuff.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Like, I don't really. So. Yeah, I mean, I think that's a good decision for her. I just, you know, I said my final piece. I just can't wait to watch Kyle make himself a huge victim for the next few weeks. Like, oh, all I wanted was kids. Ah. All right, everybody.

[Ben Mandelker]

Summer House. The next. The next Summer House recap will be in Austin, and we are hoping to see you all there if you're in their area. And again, go to watch crappets.com to get your ticketing links to the various shows, including the new shows, which will be. Those links will be going live tomorrow. Okay? So thanks for being here and we'll.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

Bye, everybody.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what? Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing. Like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

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She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a Cannon. Anthony, let's take off with Tamla playing.

[Lindsay Hubbard]

It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet. Cootard. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.