#2831 Love Hotel 0102: Going After The Ralph-a Male

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Episode #2831: "Love Hotel 0102: Going After The Ralph-a Male"

Release Date: May 6, 2025

In episode #2831 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive deep into the latest happenings of Bravo's reality sensation, Love Hotel. This detailed summary captures the dynamic discussions, key plot points, humorous exchanges, and insightful commentary shared by the hosts, making it a comprehensive guide for both avid listeners and newcomers alike.

---

1. Show Updates and Live Tour Announcements (02:10 - 04:23)

Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam kick off the episode with exciting updates about their upcoming live shows. They reveal a doubleheader approaching in Texas, with performances in Austin and Dallas. Ronnie shares enthusiasm for their first-ever Vegas show, which had been in the works for six years, and announces additional dates in Seattle and Los Angeles to conclude their "Mounting Hysteria" tour.

Notable Quote:

• Ronnie Karam (02:26): "So it’s gonna be a super fun time over there."

2. Diving into "Love Hotel" Episode Recap (04:23 - 13:07)

Transitioning smoothly, the hosts delve into their review of the second episode of Love Hotel. They express genuine enjoyment of the show's dynamics, particularly highlighting the camaraderie among the four women and the "crusty" demeanor of the male contestants. Ben appreciates the contrast between the typical dating show casts and the unique personalities on Love Hotel.

Notable Quotes:

• Ben Mandelker (04:23): "I think these are just crusty guys wanting their minimum wage and free buffets."
• Ronnie Karam (05:02): "I appreciate that this feels like proper casting."

3. Analyzing Key Interactions and Conflicts (13:07 - 31:08)

The discussion intensifies as Ben and Ronnie dissect pivotal moments from the episode. They highlight the tension between contestants Mark and Jerry over their interest in Luann, one of the central women. The hosts humorously critique the men's lack of traditional attractiveness, with Ben asserting that the ruggedness adds a different flavor to the show.

Notable Quotes:

• Ben Mandelker (06:31): "Wow, you need to pick one guy. You will get a key."
• Ronnie Karam (10:43): "I don't think he's madly in love. He's just territorial."

They explore Luann’s nonchalant attitude towards the conflicts, her strategic alliances, and the quirky interactions with other women like Giselle and Shannon. The hosts point out the subtle power plays and the comedic undertones that make the show entertaining.

Notable Quotes:

• Luann de Lesseps (09:50): "Whatever. What else is new? I leave them fighting wherever I go, girls."
• Shannon Beador (11:07): "The only one that's fighting over me is a potted plant."

4. Hosts' Humorous Insights and Critiques (31:08 - 50:57)

Ben and Ronnie continue their vibrant commentary, poking fun at the contestants' personalities and the absurdity of certain situations. They discuss the introductions of new male contestants like Phil, a wealthy but eccentric suitor, and dissect his interactions with Giselle. The hosts are particularly amused by Phil's over-the-top charm and dubious intentions, highlighting the comedic elements of his character.

Notable Quotes:

• Ronnie Karam (36:24): "Someone’s like, okay, I've got an idea for you. This is my way of getting you out of my hair."
• Ben Mandelker (43:09): "Luann is trying to be a team player here, but I'm outvoted."

Their banter includes playful jabs and sarcastic remarks about the competitive nature of the dating process, the superficial aspects of relationships depicted, and the hosts' personal preferences regarding the contestants.

Notable Quotes:

• Ben Mandelker (43:09): "She's like, 'Wally, you're coming with me.'"
• Ronnie Karam (50:57): "He’s a crypto guy. So yeah."

5. Highlighting Memorable Moments and Strategies (50:57 - 74:33)

The hosts recount memorable scenes such as the "menage a trois" group date and the ensuing chaos it causes among the contestants. They analyze Luann’s strategy in navigating romantic entanglements and her dominance in decision-making. Ben and Ronnie also laugh over Shannon’s overly dramatic responses and Earl's heartfelt yet awkward attempts to connect.

Notable Quotes:

• Shannon Beador (56:25): "Here lies Shadow Midor, killed by Ralph."
• Luann de Lesseps (67:36): "Wow, what a beautiful woman. Let me tell you something about Ralph."

Ben and Ronnie emphasize the show's blend of romance, rivalry, and humor, praising its ability to maintain viewer interest through unpredictable twists and character-driven storylines.

6. Concluding Thoughts and Future Teasers (74:43 - End)

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts summarize the key outcomes of the Love Hotel episode, including the selection of Ralph by Luann and the remaining dynamics among the contestants. They tease clips from upcoming shows, ensuring listeners are hooked for future discussions. Ben and Ronnie wrap up with acknowledgments of their sponsors and a heartfelt thank you to their audience.

Notable Quotes:

• Ben Mandelker (75:04): "So they end up keeping weirdo Phil."
• Ronnie Karam (80:03): "But it's highly entertaining, and I'm excited for…"

7. Highlights and Notable Quotes with Timestamps

Throughout the episode, Ben and Ronnie sprinkle their discussion with sharp, witty remarks that encapsulate the essence of the show:

• Ben Mandelker (00:00): "Nothing boosts confidence quite like great hair."
• Ronnie Karam (04:26): "This is a different breed than you would get on a normal dating show."
• Ashley Darby (05:50): "When have these people ever dated hot guys?"
• Shannon Beador (11:20): "The only one that's fighting over me is a potted plant."
• Ronnie Karam (28:18): "Trust me."
• Ben Mandelker (37:50): "She's a little bit loony."

8. Final Impressions

Ben and Ronnie's engaging and humorous analysis offers listeners a thorough understanding of the episode's highlights and underlying dynamics. Their ability to blend insightful critique with playful banter makes Watch What Crappens a must-listen for fans of Bravo reality shows and those seeking entertaining commentary on reality TV's latest dramas.

---

Support Watch What Crappens: Listeners are encouraged to support the podcast on Patreon for bonus episodes, video recaps, and exclusive access to the Discord server. Additionally, ad-free and bonus content is available through Wondery+ on the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

---

Disclaimer: This summary is based on the provided transcript and podcast information. Individual experiences may vary.

Transcript

[Ben Mandelker]

Let's be honest, nothing boosts confidence quite like great hair. But if you're seeing more strands in the shower, your confidence might not be at its highest. And that's why you need Hers Hair.

[Ronnie Karam]

HERS hair treatments are made with doctor trusted prescription ingredients that many other hair products out there don't have.

[Ben Mandelker]

They come in a variety of options, including oral and topical solutions so you can find the one that works for you.

[Ronnie Karam]

They even have options with added hair vitamins and supplements for extra support.

[Ben Mandelker]

Getting started is simple with a quick online hair quiz. Just answer some questions and you'll be connected with a provider to discuss your personalized treatment treatment plan through hers.

[Ronnie Karam]

Everything is 100 online, so no pharmacy trips, doctor's office visits or insurance required. Plus treatments start at just 35amonth.

[Ben Mandelker]

And the best part? You can get thicker, fuller, healthier hair and start seeing regrowth in as little as three to six months.

[Ronnie Karam]

Start your initial free online visit today.

[Ben Mandelker]

At forhers.com crappins that's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com crappings for your personalized hair loss treatment options for hers.com crappins Individual results may vary. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information.

[Joel Kim Booster]

At Hotels.com, we know some travelers crave an ocean breeze. Others don't want to deal with sand.

[Ben Mandelker]

And oftentimes those two people end up together.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Compare properties side by side to find yourself poolside, oceanside and still in a relationship. Find your perfect somewhere with hotels.com when.

[Chico Felitti]

A young woman named Desiree vanishes without a trace. The trail leads to Kat Torres, a charismatic influencer with millions of followers. But behind the glamorous posts and inspirational quotes, a sinister truth unravels. Binge all episodes of Don't Cross Cat early and ad free on Wondery.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Happens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the wonderful and lovely Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie, how's it going?

[Ben Mandelker]

Hello, hello, hello.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, everyone, we're getting down to it. Just a few days away from our big Texas shows. It's a doubleheader kind of. We have a show Friday night in Austin at Emos, where we are recapping this week's summer house. And then the next night in Dallas, we are going to recap a classic Vanderpump Rules Episode. It's gonna be season six, episode five, Sex, Lies and Audio Tapes. That is the episode where Brittany goes Rob. So that's gonna be a lot of fun. Tickets are at. Watch what crappens.com or I should say link. The tickets are there also. Then next week we're doing our very, very, very first ever Vegas show. So excited for that. Can't wait to finally give Vegas some love. For many years we talked about doing a Vegas show and now like six years out, think after we first hatched the plan, it is finally happening. So come join us next week. For. For. I think we said we're going to be doing Summer House in Vegas as well. Right. So it's going to be a super fun time over there. And then in June, we have just added Seattle show. And then the following week will be an LA show. So come join us for those. And that will be the grand finale of the Mounting Hysteria tour, which has really been so much fun to spend the first half of this year doing. So thanks to everyone who's come out to see us and we can't wait to see the rest of you in these last few shows of the tour. So with that being said, also check out our Patreon. Patreon.com watch for crappins, where we. You can watch us with Crappies on Demand and you have access to our bonus episodes. We do Trailer Trashes where we break down various trailers. But also starting June 3, Love island is back. And you know what that means it's going to be some fun times on Patreon. So get ready for that. In the meantime today, I hope you're in the mood for love, Ronnie, because we are going back to the Love Hotel. How are you feeling so far? The second episode, Good.

[Ben Mandelker]

I thought it was really funny and fun. How'd you like it?

[Ronnie Karam]

I think it's great. I think this show is really good.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's surprised.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, it's a good. And it's. And I. And I think the four women together are. Have a really fun dynamic, which I just. I'm really, really enjoying this one.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, me too. So. And I like that the guys are kind of crusty. You know, I've read a lot of comments like, God, I wish the guys were hotter. I don't. Because. Right. Those guys are all, like, worried about Instagram followers and stuff like that. These are just crusty guys. I think they just want their minimum wage and their free buffets, you know, And I'm into it. It's a different. It's a different breed than you would get on a normal dating show.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I, I think that they're like, they're, they're just right for this, for this cast because you do have some hot people. You have like, you have Wale, you've got Jay, who I think are like certifiably hot. And I think that even Ralph as like A guy who's 61 is like a fairly hot 61 year old guy. And then you have like just decently looking men. And, you know, I think it's. I appreciate that these, it just feels like the proper casting and, and, you know, maybe, maybe Nick is. I don't know. I, I didn't, I don't. I, I never really enjoyed the inclusion of Nick on this show. But we also have a whole bunch of new guys coming through, so I'm excited.

[Ben Mandelker]

Which one's Nick?

[Ronnie Karam]

The, the bitcoin investor crypto guy?

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, yeah. He's a cheese ball.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. But I kind of like to draw a little crusty and I think it's funny that everyone's like, oh, my God.

[Ashley Darby]

They need hotter guys.

[Ben Mandelker]

When have these people ever dated hot guys? We've watched all of their shows. These, these are not, these are not ladies known for dating hot guys. Luann married Tom. Okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Shannon would have married Johnny J. Then you've got Ashley with Michael Darby. Giselle's had a couple of cuties, you know, ones. Yeah, Giselle's, but, you know, 75.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. I mean, Luanne's track record. I mean, Luann is Luanna smoking hot, but her track record is Tom Jacques and, and Alex, AKA and none of them are making the centerfold of any. Anything that even has a centerfold. It doesn't matter what magazine or calendar. They're just not making it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, so we start off with Wale working out with Ashley. And that's Ashley's love language, you know, just a man to work out with. So. That's cute. And Giselle's doing the most romantic thing, I think, out of all the ladies. She is just eating alone in her room.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And Countess Luann is. She's trying to do a handstand. And Mark, who is the older man with the, with the beard, he's trying to spot her, but he doesn't do a good job because she just falls over. You're trying to kill me. He's like, oh, no, I had you, Skinny Santa.

[Ben Mandelker]

Murder by skinny Santa. So then Ashley is sitting at the dining table with Nick. Bitcoin Nick. And Santa comes over and like, oh, my God.

[Ashley Darby]

Hi. Whatever. Good morning.

[Ben Mandelker]

And talking about their days. And Mark's like, oh, God, yeah. Awkward times with Jerry. Okay, God, that was a real rough time with Jerry today.

[Ashley Darby]

She like, what was he giving you a hard time about?

[Ben Mandelker]

Luann? And then we find out that Jerry confronted Mark because he asked out Luann.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And so we see a flashback to last night where Luann goes, well, Mark, I'm impressed by your yoga esque, would you say? I would say you're very into yoga. He's like, well, thanks. I would love to do yoga with anyone who wants to do it. I'll do yoga. Let's teach a class. Okay, let's do it. This is the thing that got Jerry super jealous.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then we see a clip of Jerry confronting Mark. He's like, I think that's dirty.

[Ashley Darby]

It's wrong.

[Ben Mandelker]

I gotta be honest with you.

[Ashley Darby]

How dare you?

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, asking her to do yoga is not asking her out on the date. It's asking her to do yoga.

[Ashley Darby]

What the heck?

[Ben Mandelker]

Today where I come from, put them up.

[Ashley Darby]

But you put them up.

[Ronnie Karam]

And so Mark back to the president is like, yeah, the sequence of me talking to him first, you know, like, I'm not talking to him first.

[Shannon Beador]

And I did he.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's what he said. I didn't talk to him. And I thought I did. And I said, dude, I'm not. I'm going. I'm going for your girlfriend.

[Shannon Beador]

It's not like I'd said that or whatever.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they're like, all in a fuss over this stupid yoga thing. And Ash is like, wow.

[Shannon Beador]

Jerry clearly has eyes for one woman. Granted, his eyes only come up to her navel.

[Ronnie Karam]

And I just show a shot of him just, like, being so much shorter.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then we see Jerry, Luann, walking side by side.

[Ashley Darby]

And Ash is like, well, it doesn't matter. I mean, he only sees one woman. He's madly in love with her. It's only day two, guys. Calm down.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't think that he's madly in love. I just see him as someone who's just, like, territorial. He's like, I went on a date with Luann and we sat in an oversized oyster shell. And so therefore, we're just connected and she's mine now.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's bro code. Let's have an E trade off. You show your E trade and I'll show mine. We'll see who's better invested.

[Ronnie Karam]

So. So then Luann comes, sits down, and.

[Shannon Beador]

Now she's like, oh, Lou. So Mark was saying that he had an Interesting interaction with Jerry this morning.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Oh, really?

[Ronnie Karam]

Were you guys singing cabaret, some gander and Ebb that? Tell me more.

[Shannon Beador]

No, they were. They were fighting over you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, really? Let me see your face, Mark. Any bruises? She get punched in the nose? Huh.

[Ben Mandelker]

So I love that. Luann doesn't even care.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She's like, whatever. What else is new? I leave them fighting wherever I go, Girls.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Giselle comes in. She's like, good morning. Good morning. Which, you know, Giselle's not comfortable with these people because she did not come in saying, good morning.

[Ashley Darby]

Good morning.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, she did not. She goes, the block is hot, y'all. The block is hot. Mark, did you tell y'all. Did you. Who knows the tea about Mark and Jerry? Then Jerry comes in. He's like, wait, hold on a second. Is he talking about me behind my back? Behind my back. Okay, now that common cool Jerry came out. You know, like, my common cool Jerry came out. Luann, you look beautiful, by the way. Absolutely beautiful. It's like, whoa, bro, you're coming in a little too hot about this whole stupid yoga thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And. But, you know, as we learned last week, a lot of these people look at it as their last chance. Like, the guy last week who was like, this is it.

[Luann de Lesseps]

I've got.

[Ben Mandelker]

He was like the Carol Radzwell of the cast. He's like, I've got one good summer left. This is it. So I think they're a little more defensive, you know?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So Giselle's like, yes. At the pool this morning, Jerry was like, that's my woman. Nah, you don't have right to talk to my woman. Nah. And Mark is like, who the hell are you? And in my mind, I'm like, fight to fight, to fight, to fight. Make this a good show.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they're asking Luan how it feels to be fought over. And Giselle's like, oh. She says, this is an average Tuesday for me, honey. Yeah.

[Ashley Darby]

Well, you have two men verbally fighting over you. Oh, my God. Luanne.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She goes, oh, God. Jesus Christ and captain of the Sea. I mean, you gotta love it where they find these guys. Chuck E. Cheese, next in line.

[Ronnie Karam]

God.

[Shannon Beador]

Well, the only one that's fighting over me is a potted plant in the corner of my room, I believe. I don't. I don't think anyone's really fighting for me. Well, I guess there's Earl the Pearl. Well, congratulations to me. I got Earl the Pearl fighting for me. Oh, God, I'm happy.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Well, what would you happen if guys were fighting over what would happen to you if guys were fighting over you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Shannon.

[Ashley Darby]

She's like, I would just feel so bad. I would feel terrible, terrible for the man.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Joel comes out and he's like, hello, lovebirds. Can we come to the couch? Wow. I heard there's major rom com moments happening for some of you guys.

[Shannon Beador]

Yeah, well, I had a fantastic date. And then he sealed the date with a nice little kiss. At the end of the night.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, I'm so glad you went back. And so Nick is telling us. He's like, I'm so jealous. I mean, I hope I get the chance to just lay it all, like a. Lay one on one with her and give. Give Ashley, like, Ashley, like, I just want one date with her and just. I can just show her what I'm all about. So Joel's like, ladies, on your itinerary, today you have a group day. And there's a slight Minaj twist to this group date. You'll take out not one, but two men.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Giselle's like, how dare you? I. No one wants to go on a threesome except Ashley. Yeah. Now, gentlemen, you might get asked on multiple dates, and the power shifts to you, and you can decide which lady you want to have a menage a trois with.

[Luann de Lesseps]

And the one's like, ooh, la la la. It was. I'm a musician. That's called art.

[Ronnie Karam]

I was married to a Frenchman, so I sort of understand that. That phrase a little bit more than everyone else here.

[Shannon Beador]

Shan's like, oh, me and two people? I mean, I have never done that. I mean, trace amicas is one thing, but trace, trace, trace, dose, dose boys. And one Shannon. That's a bit much for me. I mean, there's no threesomes in my past or anytime in my future. Not that anyone. Not that there's two men who want to be with me, but that's fine. I guess I'm just not Luann.

[Ashley Darby]

That's.

[Shannon Beador]

That's okay. That's okay.

[Ashley Darby]

I'm just so happy for Luann, though. This is big day for her.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they're gonna have two dates at one time. And Joel's like, do you think they can handle Ashley? And we see a flashback to Michael.

[Ashley Darby]

And I have been in other situations where we've been with other people before.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Wendy's like, oh, a threesome. Which that whole day was overshadowed because that was the big fight in the wine. The wine barn or wherever it's right. Wherever they were. I recognize Ashley's pilgrimage coat thing that she wore.

[Shannon Beador]

Well, I. Okay, Joelle, I would like to start the process, and I would like to ask my first person in my menagerie. It's not. It's. We're not doing a real menage. Okay. Yes. My first.

[Ashley Darby]

I would love three meringues. Can I pick that? Bring me three meringues. I don't care what flavor they are.

[Shannon Beador]

The first. The first gentleman, he is the one who. The supermarket version of him I told my daughters are they are not allowed to step into ever in their lives. Ralph, please, would you be on. Come on. My menageritois with me.

[Ashley Darby]

I mean, I felt comfortable with Earl, but I need to spread my wings. I need to get.

[Ben Mandelker]

No.

[Ashley Darby]

No more people. I want some hotties on my roster. So, sorry. Sorry, Earl.

[Shannon Beador]

My name is not Earl when it comes to choosing people, okay?

[Ronnie Karam]

And Earl's like, well, I mean, we're to find our future partner, and if she thinks that someone would. Someone else would be better for her, I'm okay with that. Look, there's a lot of fish in the sea, especially in hot Lanta, and I'd be disappointed, but I'll be happy for the other person. It's okay. I'm just Earl.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she picks Ralph, and Ralph's like, oh, I'm incredibly flattered. You know, Shannon. What a beautiful woman. Let me tell you something about Ralph. I don't know much about Ralph. That man looks like a hemorrhoid, okay? That man looks like he's got a very sore butt and a very big hemorrhoid. He just has, like, Frank Catania senior energy.

[Ronnie Karam]

I feel like he looks like DreamWorks Animation, you know how, like, Disney Animation looks one way? I feel like he looks like DreamWorks Animation. Like a DreamWorks Animation. Like, he should be in some cartoon where he plays, like. Like a sentient rock that helps someone on their journey, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

No.

[Ashley Darby]

Okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

You don't have to know.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, I'm flattered. Shannon's beautiful, but it's mixed emotions because Earl's smitten. I don't want to feel like I messed up Earl's life, you know?

[Shannon Beador]

So she was like, well, also, Jay, would you like to go on a date?

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, absolutely. And she explains, because I think we're all a little surprised.

[Shannon Beador]

She goes, well, I'm asking Jay because I wanted to get to know him more. Also, I did think he was the waiter, and so I accidentally asked him on a date when I. I really just wanted a margarita. So anyway, I can talk to Giselle about him. And, oh, gosh, you know, he's like, I really want him and Giselle to be together because that means that she can lay her hands off of my Ralph.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now Ashley gets to pick, and she chooses Nick because. Bitcoin. And. And then she picks Jerry as the second.

[Ashley Darby]

And she's like, well, Jerry's a buffer, you know? I mean, he's a buffer on my mental. Because if I brought Wale, I wouldn't have time to get to know Nick. So there we go.

[Ben Mandelker]

And poor Wale is left out. He's like, but I worked out with you today.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, it's my turn. Cabaret star selecting. I feel like Mark and I had a yoga session this morning, and not really a date date. He did drop me on my ass, which I was simultaneously disappointed by and harassed by. So I'm gonna take Mark. Skinny Santa. Let's see what gifts Santa. Baby, come and do yoga with with me. Line at three. Okay.

[Luann de Lesseps]

And Ralph, you can choose between loser Shannon over there or me. What do you want, losers or winners? What are you gonna pick, Songbirds or house crashers? What is it?

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, do I gotta pick right now?

[Luann de Lesseps]

She's like, think about it.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right?

[Luann de Lesseps]

Move on to Giselle.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right, shut up, Joel.

[Luann de Lesseps]

I'll take over Giselle. You go.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, Phil, I would like to take you out because I noticed you have some expensive clothes. Because at this point, Phil really hasn't talked to. Hasn't said much at all.

[Ben Mandelker]

Dude. Phil just sits there with a smile and a big old chunky Luann necklace, and he's like, I love to be.

[Ashley Darby]

Here on the beach. What a glorious day.

[Ben Mandelker]

The sun's a shining, the wind's always been. Is this guy tripping? What is it? At first, I thought maybe he was kind of gay. Like, because it looks like there's always, like, a musical going on in his head. And as gays, we know that look. But now I think he's just a Californian. He's just very like, I have a home in Bel Air. I'm rich as hell, and no, none of the pores can reach me.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's just somewhere listening to Dave Kaz, you know, enjoying a nice afternoon. So Giselle's like, phil is giving distinguished gentlemen dresses impeccably Gucci down to the socks. And I think I like it. I've got to see if Phil can talk as well as he can dress. So basically, she sends his money, and that's all she cares about, because his personality is. Is not there. He has no personality. Personality that we can see at least.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it's very, like hosted a restaurant, you know, like, welcome in. We've got your favorite wine being cooled. Please have a seat, you lovely, gorgeous people. How are the children? You know, just like that service smile, that customer service smile. So then we see a flashback to Shannon Alexis fighting over John Jansen. And Giselle's like, well, however, every time Shannon has a man, one of her friends is like, somebody takes her man. So I feel kind of bad for her, but not that bad. I'm taking him.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So because she has said that she is, she's also selected Ralph. So she's like, I've got to stay on brand for Shannon.

[Shannon Beador]

So she's like, oh, wow, that's just great.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Joel's like, oh, so it's gonna be a mad dash to Ralph after we're done here. And Ralph's like, whoa, this is really cool and uncomfortable at the same time. Whoa, this is wild. It's crazy.

[Shannon Beador]

Oh, well, I want to have a one on one with Ralph from the get go. So I, you know, I looked Ralph and I, that's my guy. I saw him. I said, that is my guy. This is a man who is going to be nice to me for a year and then will be terribly passive aggressive for the rest of our relationship. He's mine, ladies.

[Ashley Darby]

I sense that this man would possibly hear me having a drunk driving accident and ignore it. And I just find that so attractive. But unfortunately, he was. He was stolen right out from under my wings. So take it, ladies.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now Ralph has to decide, and who's he gonna pick? He's intrigued by Giselle because of those eyes, those beautiful eyes. And Shannon's like, well, I'll tell you.

[Ashley Darby]

What, I don't like. No ice and iced tea. Why else would you call it iced tea? Don't go to London. Also, Ralph not picking me, that wasn't great either.

[Shannon Beador]

Didn't. Didn't love that.

[Ronnie Karam]

So, Louis, like, well, Giselle is gorgeous, and I don't blame Ralph for picking Giselle, but I'm just kind of surprised. I thought he was kind of looking at me. I mean, not you, Shannon. You were never in the running. But like, honestly, me though, I. I thought I had a shot.

[Shannon Beador]

Well, I. I thought that I had some chemistry with Ralph.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, you didn't. I'll just say to you right now, you're an earl the pearl kind of lady, and that's just for your lane in life, all right? But me, I'm a Ralph girl all the way. What the fuck is going on over here?

[Ben Mandelker]

I like that.

[Ashley Darby]

Shannon goes, well, I got another pick then, don't I? Okay, well, Ralph was my first pick that didn't work out, so I pick Earl.

[Shannon Beador]

All right, I'll jump on the Earl grenade, everyone. Earl the grenade Pearl.

[Ashley Darby]

It's time for a commercial.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

[Ronnie Karam]

You know when a new shirt just becomes your go to? That's what happened when I picked up a few new pieces from Quint's. They're the first things I reach for in my closet. Lightweight, comfortable, and always on point, Quint's.

[Ben Mandelker]

Has all the things you actually want to wear, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners.

[Ronnie Karam]

The best part? Everything with quints is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'd find at similar brands.

[Ben Mandelker]

By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middle end, Quint's gives you luxury pieces without the crazy markups.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I have a wonderful goldenrod overshirt that you may have seen me on stage during one of our live shows wearing. And I also have a sweet little bracelet that I got from Quince as well. Both really elevate my look and my style, and I feel like a million bucks when I wear them, even though I spent a mere fraction of that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Elevate your closet with quince. Go to quints.com crappens for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com crappens to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Krappins.

[Chico Felitti]

Everyone has that friend who seems kind of perfect for Patty. That friend was Desiree. Until one day I texted her and.

[Ben Mandelker]

She was not getting the text.

[Ronnie Karam]

So I went to Instagram. She has no Instagram anymore. And Facebook. No Facebook anymore.

[Chico Felitti]

Desiree was gone. And there was one person who knew the answer.

[Ronnie Karam]

I am a spiritual person, magical person.

[Chico Felitti]

Which a gorgeous Brazilian influencer called Cat Torres, but who was hiding a secret from wondering. Based on my smash hit podcast from Brazil comes a new series, Don't Cross Cat, about a search that led me to a mystery in a Texas suburb. I'm calling to check on the two missing Brazilian girls.

[Ben Mandelker]

Maybe get some undercover crew there.

[Ronnie Karam]

The family are freaking out.

[Ashley Darby]

They are lost.

[Chico Felitti]

I'm Chico Felitti. You can listen to don't cross cat on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Joel's like, everyone dated up. And Wale is like, hi, I'm the hottest one here, and I'm actually not been chosen at all while you're coming with me, whoever you are, I haven't talked to you the entire time, but you've got a nice smile. And I don't know, it doesn't look like you can afford my lifestyle, but you can try. Get on over.

[Ben Mandelker]

She calls him Wally.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She's like, wally, you're coming with me, Wally.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right, Wally world, get over here.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, and now we go on these cheap ass dates, which are more, you know, folding tables set up on the beach. And Giselle is first with Ralph and Phil. And she's like, so, do you know each other? Do you like each other? What's going on? And she's just making small talk. And then Joel's like, today I've planned a fiesta of love filled with Mexican cuisine and authentic culture. How spicy? Let's see.

[Ronnie Karam]

So it's basically a buffet on the beach, courtesy of the hotel. And they're all getting their food, and Luann's like, so, Wally, were you scared of Ashley? And Wale is like, yeah, I'm. I'm, you know, like, she's basically like, oh. Because she goes in and she. She's like, oh, hey, you've got, like some food on your face or something like that. And she comes in, like, really close, and it looks like she's gonna kiss him. And he's like, oh, I'm glad you didn't do that. Because he's really. He's really into Ashley.

[Luann de Lesseps]

It's like, were you scared, Ashley?

[Ashley Darby]

And Ashley's like, oh, my God.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Wale is like, yeah, you know, I was hoping that she wouldn't do that. And I saw Ashley. She cared. She really cared.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She really cared if she was gonna.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lick that mango off my face. So we go to Giselle, sitting with Ralph and Phil, talking about ages. They're 61 and 63. And Phil's like, what's your ideal man, Giselle? And she' like, ideal man. I like a nice gentleman that I'm attracted to. And you're both that, I suppose. And I need to laugh. You haven't made me laugh. And money, money, lots and lots of money.

[Ronnie Karam]

So be rich and make me laugh. So far, Phil has the money. You are just a sound engineer, and neither of you made me laugh. So get to work. Giselle basically is like, yeah, you need to, like, you know, if you want to take my panties off, you need to make me laugh. You don't want to be Dave Chappelle, but, like, at least be like, a little witty. Which I'm like, then why did you wind up with Jason? Jason Cameron, I guess. Just. He's just super hot. So Giselle's like, if you're able to laugh at yourself, then that just speaks to your comfortability as a person. I'm like, neither of these guys are gonna be able to do that. Just look at them. And Ralph, these are not guys who I'm seeing are like a barrel of laughs here. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

If you want a guy to make you laugh, why did you pick these two guys? They're like the two quietest guys out of all of the guys. Guys. So then we go over to Luann and Mark's like, well, about our date today. And she like, it wasn't a date.

[Luann de Lesseps]

We were working out, all right? It was a Namas day. Get. Keep it in your pants.

[Ben Mandelker]

Mark and Wale, it's like, wait, why are you minimizing the time you spent with Mark? That's not cool. She's like, I'm not.

[Luann de Lesseps]

It was just a gym thing. You know, we're getting to know each other, we're doing handstands. Buy me something that's a date.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, I remember when I went on my first date with Tommy Tune. Was he gay? Sure. But it was still a date. We had a great time. We bought at champagne, martinis, caviar. That's a date. Not doing corpse pose on the floor of some hotel gym. Am I right, everyone?

[Ben Mandelker]

And Mark's like, ah, what a wise ass.

[Ashley Darby]

I sure love that lady. We got a real connection. She's always looking for action, and so am I.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Wale's like, well, you do have a crazy core.

[Shannon Beador]

I'm.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm sure you can. You do all those. Those stands. And Mark's like, yeah, good, strong. Good leg. Strong legs. That's right. Cabaret keeps you in shape, guys. So then Luanne kicks her leg up. Aha. I'm 50, 50 years old. I've been married twice. I learned a lot from those marriages. And by a lot, I mean very little. Anyway, Mark kind of reminds me what I had before, which is sort of garbage with a beard, all right? It's a dead end relationship.

[Luann de Lesseps]

You know what I believe? Never look back. Am I right, ladies?

[Ben Mandelker]

So then we see a flashback to her with Tom. And Tom talking about how he wants a hall pass. Like when they Were together for five minutes, and then we see Luann talking about how she could be a real housewife again with Mark, but she's not gonna do that. So she's like, you know, I don't know about you, because Ashley's taking up all of your time, Wally, so I.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Think Ashley likes you. What do you think about that?

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, oh, she's. She's beautiful. And. And who puts her outfits together, does not watch Potomac.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's definitely not Giselle's stylist. Someone's like, okay, I've got an idea for you. Okay, this is my way of getting you out of my hair, because I have nothing to say to you. Why don't you write a note for her and you can deliver it to her, and then we'll go hide behind a rock and we don't have to talk the rest of this date, okay? He's like, well, during the event. Yes, there's only the now, darling. Only the now. Also, by the way, to the Pope, rest in peace, darling. So he's like, okay, I guess give me some paper. And you're giving me some tips on how to write the note? Yes. Okay, here's what you Write me at 3pm all right, take it to her.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Here's what I want you to say. I want you to say, look over at Shannon, wink, and then run to Luann and stick your tongue down her throat.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right?

[Luann de Lesseps]

You got that? Go.

[Ronnie Karam]

So he writes the note and he brings. And. And Ash is talking to Nick and Jerry, and Nick is like, hey, so have you done two guys before? Like, oh, no, I don't mean it like that. Whoops.

[Shannon Beador]

And she's like, yeah, let's maybe change the phrasing.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Giselle is asking Phil and Ralph questions about if they get bored in relationships. And Ralph's like, nah, it takes me a while to get in. But once I'm in, I'm in there. You know, between football, baseball, you know, the kids games, you know, sometimes I'll have. I'll have a little room for some romance. She's like, oh, okay. Are you cautious? Because you guys are very mature men, and that's very hard to find these days. Most of them are dead. Men don't live very long these days. Dead of hemorrhoids. Right, Ralph?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. You know, unless you've taken some lumps, you're not my people. Oh, Ralph, lumps is kind of a five letter word when it comes to housewives. We don't like the lumps. We do a Lot of surgeries to get rid of them. Okay. I'm talking about lady lumps. And he's like, yeah, well, if you had that they've had. If you've had this really nice, smooth life, you probably don't have anything in common. The people, people that have taken the lumps had, you know, had to bob and weave and build character. It makes their. Easier to take and get to detect and get rid of.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, Ralph. Okay. Ralph's like, I need a lady with bootstraps. Bootstraps that she pulls up in the morning and can take on the day. It's like, okay, Ralph. Oh, God.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, these ladies have had their lumps. Don't you worry. Just watch the show. If you watch the show, you would see the lumps. Okay. But you don't watch tv, so there's that.

[Ben Mandelker]

No. So Giselle's like, he's a cool back daddy. He's just so laid back. No drama. I like that. And Ralph's like, well, you've gotta find. Oh, Ralph. You gotta find somebody with a similar past, you know? I mean, I'm on a double date. I'm talking to you. Why am I talking to this guy? Like, what, am I hitting on this guy? Hey, guy, are you taking any lumps? Probably not, fruitcake, Am I right?

[Ronnie Karam]

No. This is good. Someone might be able to chime in. Nah. So then meanwhile, Shannon's sitting with Earl and Jay and.

[Shannon Beador]

Oh, so can I. Do you mind I. Can I reach in for one of your tacos? I'll have the chicken, please. Okay. Thank you so much. I don't normally like to eat on dates, but unfortunately, I cannot resist a good taco.

[Ashley Darby]

Well, so it normally wouldn't eat on camera, but Ralph didn't pick me, so I guess it's time to take medicine. A taco. Earl, have you ever.5 milligrams of chicken.

[Shannon Beador]

Taco Earl, have you ever watched a woman spiral on a date? Because it is happening right here. Pass the tacos, please. Taco Taco Tuesday.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, well, Shannon, if it makes you feel any better, I've got some fresh trauma for you.

[Shannon Beador]

Oh, oh, do you? Okay, please go on.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, I was married twice. And the first one was only for about a year and a half.

[Ben Mandelker]

I didn't have kids.

[Ashley Darby]

I've seen it.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, no, I've seen it. No, no, this is new. This is new. This is a new one.

[Ashley Darby]

All right.

[Ronnie Karam]

I had a stepson and I loved him to death. And when I filed for divorce, she never let me see him again.

[Shannon Beador]

Oh, God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, Earl.

[Ashley Darby]

Excuse me with your pain.

[Ronnie Karam]

I've got more. I've got more. Wait, I can make this better. Okay, okay. So he left my life when he was 11. And I promised him my motorcycle. Be there for him when he comes back. Was it dangerous for me to let 11 year old drive a motorcycle up and down the street unsupervised? Perhaps, but it was our thing and I let him have that thing. And to this day, that motorcycle is sitting in my garage. It's been there for 15 years, unused and untouched.

[Ashley Darby]

Earl, is it under 350cc? Because I can't drive a car right now. So I would love to borrow your motorcycle if you still got it.

[Shannon Beador]

Earl, that was a lovely story, but you have to excuse me. I spilled some coleslaw from this taco on my skirt. So please put a pin in that motorcycle thing. I'll be right back.

[Ashley Darby]

I love that Earl is just sharing so much. He's an open book. And I consider myself an open book. Of course, I'm more of a, I don't know, Danielle Steele. And he's more of a Britanna Britannica encyclopedia that your mother makes you to read when you're very young and have nothing else in the house but no one wants to read or all. You were kidding. Can I have another tackle?

[Shannon Beador]

He. He is an open book and his books make me cry a lot. So in many ways, he's like a Nicholas Sparks. Although I'm not very attracted to him, so it's sort of like a Nicholas. No Sparks. But that's fine. He's. He's a very successful author and I'm very happy for him.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Ashley is still with Nick and Jerry, and she's like, all right.

[Ashley Darby]

Let'S get to the meat of the matter. Have you dated a black woman?

[Ben Mandelker]

And they're both like, oh, first. Did you.

[Ronnie Karam]

You first. Do we have our tacos yet? Should we have our tacos before we talk?

[Shannon Beador]

Talk.

[Ronnie Karam]

Want to go, hey, what's Earl the Pearl up to? I think he's talking a cool story over there.

[Ashley Darby]

She's like, it's a yes or no question. Have you were having you.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Giselle is asking the same question of her guys. And Ralph's like, h. And she goes, wow, you said that quick. Have you or not, Phil? And he goes, I am black. He's like, that didn't answer my question. Some black men don't date black women. And he goes, well, I don't. I don't know many of them, but I've Seen them at grocery stores. Does that count?

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Jerry back to Ashley. Jerry's like, yeah, I did. I. I dated a black girl in high school and her name was Angel.

[Shannon Beador]

And she goes.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Nick is like, oh, my God, you remember her name. He's like, yeah, I'm not like a piece of like you. Doesn't remember the girls that he dated. Did.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Ash, as.

[Shannon Beador]

She's like, oh, my God, Mr. Nick. Oh, wow, Nick, you did live in.

[Ronnie Karam]

West Africa, which I did not realize this. So Nick lived in West Africa. And he's like, yeah, but I never dated anyone from there. Yeah, I. I never. I never dated a black woman. She's like, oh, okay.

[Shannon Beador]

Well, that surprises me a lot.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And he's like, so have you ever dated a white guy?

[Ashley Darby]

And she's like, oh, my God, that's so funny. It's like, so weird because, like, I'm famous, like, literally everywhere I go. So. So everyone already knows who I'm married to. But, yeah, you know, you don't watch tv, so that's cute. I'm huge. I'm a huge.

[Shannon Beador]

I've not only dated a white guy, I dated a disgusting white guy.

[Ashley Darby]

Have you ever seen Lord of the Rings?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it's pretty huge movie.

[Shannon Beador]

I. You know, I wouldn't classify Michael as white. More like gray. I'm not sure.

[Ronnie Karam]

So have you ever been to a.

[Ashley Darby]

Vet and seen a really old dog that's about to be put down with his eyes watering like. Like that. Confused and watering? Yeah, that was my ex husband, so that was fun.

[Shannon Beador]

Have you ever seen a hairless cat?

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Giselle. Giselle's still talking to. She tells Phil that he looked like. He looks like one of the Jacksons. And she's like, did anyone ever tell you you look like one of the Jacksons? And he's like, I think I've gotten into a few parties because they think I'm a celebrity of some sort. That's typical la.

[Shannon Beador]

I was like, why do you make. How are you making the.

[Ronnie Karam]

I was confused as one of the Jacksons into a boring story. Come on, Phil. Come on. Let's get some energy going on over here.

[Ashley Darby]

Yeah, like, people think I'm a celebrity.

[Ben Mandelker]

All the time being in la. I have a home base in Paradise Valley, Arizona, and I have a home in Val. Yes, people think I'm famous quite often.

[Ronnie Karam]

Here's a question. How is Bel Air not the. The home base? Wouldn't you want Belair to be the home base tax? Or do you think he just. He probably has is able to get a larger place in Paradise Valley, huh? Taxes, taxes, taxes. Yeah. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do they have small homes in Bel Air?

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, maybe you don't have as much land. I don't think they have small homes. Unless you're, like, a service person.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Phil's like, well, you know, living.

[Ashley Darby]

In Los Angeles, there so many ways to meet people. But how do I connect with my soul mate that's been missing in my life? I really focused on raising my son. I focused on my career. That's probably while I'm single. That's probably why. Right, guys?

[Ben Mandelker]

Right. Well, also because you're kind of like Carol Channing on Quaaludes, but I don't know, who am I to judge?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Such an odd dude.

[Ronnie Karam]

He is really odd. He just speaks very slowly and without any energy. And I feel like never stops that smile.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's just like, yeah, he's a little.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Giselle's like, la is the worst. He's like, why is it the worst? He's like, because it's just like, what are these people doing here? Does anyone have a job bar? I'm like, you're the one who has professionally walking around during the day doing.

[Ben Mandelker]

Nothing gna say, what do you do again?

[Ronnie Karam]

You're the one taking your daughter to the Container Store every episode. Okay. And feels like the answer is yes.

[Ashley Darby]

That is you have to be in the right environment.

[Ben Mandelker]

I live in Bel Air, so yes, that's different. It's gated, so, yes, it feels different. I'm not walking among the streets, among the unwashed and jobless. I'm in Bel Air. You heard of it.

[Ronnie Karam]

He has, like, such a casual flex. He's like, well, when I'm in my gated community, it's funny because when you go out into a. Some disgusting place like Hollywood, you're like, what do all these people do for work? They do. Does anyone have a job? But when you come to my gated community and you see everyone sitting around on their sofas eating bon bons, you say, ah, gainfully employed people at last.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do you even have an Arizona's in Los Angeles? What a crazy town. He's like, I own a piece of.

[Ronnie Karam]

Paradise Valley, Arizona over there we just call called Zaz. So Giselle's like, phil is like a whole man, a whole creepy man. He's established, he's fancy, he knows what he wants, he's refined. She would not be giving this man one shred of attention if it were not for the fact that he's wears designer Clothing. And now that he's dropped Bel Air in there a few times and gave. He has. He has now found a toe hold on this. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Admittedly, she doesn't even hide. Admitted, like, well, he's a creep, but he's rich, so let's try and make this work. And I like that he goes, oh, you know, Bel Air, beautiful view. You've got mountain views, city views. It's a different feel than if you're out in Hollywood or something like that.

[Ronnie Karam]

I like, Ouch.

[Ben Mandelker]

He just. I was like, Ben, on, that's what you get for all your Valley comments.

[Ronnie Karam]

I know. It just at long lasts. Well, no, look, the Hollywood shade doesn't come often on Brava. But when it does come, it comes on pretty strong because let's not. Let's never forget the moment when Lisa Vanderpump went to Hollywood. It was like, oh, no. Like the scene in big business when they get kicked out of the cab and have to walk. Walk through, like the Bronx.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it's like in a Hazmat suit. You want to go to rock and roll school? Why would you do this to me, Max?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes. Beautiful views in Bel Air. Unlike Hollywood, where you look at a skunk standing on a dumpster being attacked by a crazy person. It's not quite the same him. So then Giselle's like, phil, my man, you are talking my language. You are telling me about your two homes. I can see myself in Bel Air, sipping margaritas, going to Malibu. He walks and talks like a man with money. And I sniffed him out. Da.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then back to Nick and Ashley. Nick's like, you're four beautiful women. And I had to choose two guys to come on this day. Like, I mean, you had that connection with that other guy, Wally, so why don't you choose Wally? And Wally comes over, he's like, hey, guys. He's got his little note. And Nick's like, God, come on, dude.

[Ronnie Karam]

And so he drops off the note and Jerry is. Jerry's basically like, oh, he's. Excuse me. I keep on burping up. He's like, Jerry's like, he's. He's romantic. And Nick is like, well, I would love to have a one on one with you.

[Shannon Beador]

Well, when's that going to happen?

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, I don't know. Like, wow, you're really. You're really spitting a lot of game there, Nick. You really know how to woo a woman.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Ashley's like, let me read this note.

[Ashley Darby]

Okay. Roses are red, violets are blue. My name is Wale and I just. Lou, wait a minute.

[Ronnie Karam]

Suck it. So then Luann, meanwhile, she's now giving more tips to Wally. Luann has the Luanne every now and then on, on these shows, gives her her dating tips and they're so over the top. She's like, okay, well, well, well, Wally, you just elevated yourself. Good job. Okay, you sent a girl a note. So now next, find her lipstick, put it on and kiss the mirror. Whoa, that's a bit much.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Put on, do a couple of squats and leave them in her Kleenex box so she can sniff them later.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, whoa. Whoa, Luann, Jesus.

[Ronnie Karam]

Do you have a feather boa by any chance? Do you know all the lyrics? Do you know all the the lyrics to Ring Ring Them Bells by Liza Minnelli? Come on, go for it.

[H]

The world can seem pretty chaotic sometimes, and if you're a parent, that's the last thing you need. Which is why I think you'll appreciate a podcast that offers clarity, perspective, and hopefully a little serenity to your world each week on Janet Lansbury Unruffled, I strive to help with your most confounding issues and offer practical, holistic advice so you can be the parent you want to be. Calm, connected, confident, even in the most challenging moments. My goal is to help take the chaos out of parenting, to shed light on the root causes of our kids behavior so we can respond effectively without anger, threats, or even bribes. By embracing our role as respectful leaders, establishing both trust and boundaries, we can enjoy a loving relationship with our kids that encourages mutual cooperation and respect. So check out Janet Lansbury on Ruffled on Wondery or wherever you listen to podcasts, we can do this.

[Joel Kim Booster]

At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather, it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they feel their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and Ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now it's later and the dates are done, and Jay comes to check in with Giselle, and she's like, wow, Jay is checking on his girl. I like that. Other men should take note. This is how it's done.

[Ashley Darby]

Now.

[Ben Mandelker]

If he was just checking me on a. Just checking on me from a house in Bel Air, he might have a chance.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So then. But then, like, they're all. It's kind of like post date, but they're all kind of hanging out. And Giselle's like, well, Phil hasn't talked since we got here. And so it was nice to have a conversation with the brother. But then he was also like, Phil's just kind of, like, off, like, checking out the party and everything.

[Ben Mandelker]

And so he was like, this is lovely.

[Ashley Darby]

Is this a beach? Oh, it feels so lovely between. Between my heels and the sand. What a lovely place. Is there a private plane I can get back to Bel Air?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. He does sort of seem like he's kind of hosting a murder mystery party where someone actually gets murdered.

[Ben Mandelker]

Does he really? Does you know whose energy he has. Has. Now that I think about it, he kind of has Dwight energy from Real Housewives of Atlanta.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I think that's what we. I think we actually. I think we actually said that last week, I think. Oh, really was very Dwightish. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, he is very d. Is.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, he has. He. He definitely. He's like Dr. Facilier. So then Luan is like, oh, Ashley, how's everything going with you and Wale? And she's like, oh, he gave me a note. Oh, really? I don't know anything about that note. Please tell me what it said. And she's like, well, it says, from.

[Shannon Beador]

Your favorite gym guy, you look amazing. I want to see you later.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, he really does like you. I wonder if there might be some lipstick on your mirror later. Wink, wink.

[Ashley Darby]

She's like, yeah, he likes me. So does this guy.

[Ben Mandelker]

And it's Jerry. And Luann's like, oh, he likes you, huh?

[Luann de Lesseps]

Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Jerry's like, you look amazing as usual. Well, Luan, don't you talk to another person.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's like, I told angel, you're mine now. So Ashley is like, okay, I'm gonna go. So Ashley goes off with Nick and leaving Luan with Jerry. She's like, great. Stuck with a fan. He's like, well, so Nick is talking to Ashley, and he's like, yeah, man, I just need a little Bit more time with you. And she's like, well, we don't have.

[Shannon Beador]

A lot of that, so what's going on?

[Ronnie Karam]

And they sit down. But before they get into their date, we go back to Luann and Jerry, and Jerry's like, listen, I do want to apologize if I went off in that breakfast with Mark. It's not my character. He just needs to know that you belong to me. And you're gonna move to Puerto Rico now, and you're gonna sit on that island with me while I go fishing and surfing.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She's like, wow. Don't worry about it. It was charming. Really, Mike. Oh, God, I guess I like that guy fine, but he's kind of a creep, isn't he? I mean, what's he gonna do, put lipstick on and kiss my mirror? Next loser?

[Ronnie Karam]

There's a difference between being attentive and overbearing. And he's just starting to get overbearing. I mean, if he wants to buy a ticket to my show, fine. But come on, you're not gonna be in the VIP section.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Can't fuck a personality, am I right? Okay, so anyway, I was actually on my way to the ladies room. Sorry to bug you. Jerry, get out.

[Ben Mandelker]

See, you.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Wouldn't want to be a sucker.

[Ronnie Karam]

I hear Earl the Pearl has a real good trauma story over there. So anyway, I'm just gonna. I don't know. Hey, look over at that palm tree. Bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now Shanna's talking to some dudes, and Earl's there, and Earl's like, you want to go up onto the hill as a group?

[Ashley Darby]

And she goes, you know what I'd love, Earl? I'd love we. We can go up as a group. You're just such a giver, Earl. Come on.

[Shannon Beador]

I also like that you create a situation where I don't have to be up on that hill one on one with you. So thank you. Thank you for giving me an out. You know, although I was incredibly disappointed when Ralph didn't choose me. Like, really, really heartbroken. Like, wow. Brought me back to some dark memories with David and John. Wow. It was just full rejection. Just. Oh, just Shannon door. Always a bridesmaid. Just not even a bridesmaid. Just someone in the corner of the church who is ignored, and people don't even realize that she's at the wedding.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, wow.

[Shannon Beador]

What was I talking about again?

[Ashley Darby]

Well, at least I'm starting over and I'm starting new. I don't let anything get me down. This is a new Shannon. Ralph is out of the picture now. I can't even see him. Oh, yeah, I can. He's actually over there staring at Luanne. Well, that Earl's still here, so there's that. Hello, Earl. Get to know Earl.

[Shannon Beador]

I just love that strange strawberry blonde thing he's got going on with his thinning hair and his very average physique. It's just. I love him. He's just. Oh, God, I. I hope he tells me another traumatic story. I. I'm just so, so attracted to him.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Jay escorts Shannon up the stairs, and Earl just kind of follows him. He's like, hey, thanks for escorting her, but okay.

[Ashley Darby]

Get me out of here.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then the guys are just, you know, making small talk. And Ashley's making the small talk with Nick and asking him about Arizona. He's like, yeah, I live in Scottsdale.

[Ashley Darby]

She's like, oh, and you used to. My diamonds. Do you still do that? What do you do now? Are they blood diamonds? What kind of diamonds are they? I love diamonds.

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, is that what he.

[Shannon Beador]

Was doing in West Africa, by the way?

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, I was definitely thinking blood diamonds. This guy is. Is not ever going to give you an answer that's not a little shady. He's like, oh, yeah, mining diamonds and now crypto. I'm a crypto guy. So, yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

This guy has so many red flags. And it's. And, like, they start with the. The. The copious number of thin necklaces that he's wearing, and they. It ends with these blood diamonds. Because when he said West Africa before, I was like, oh, he did like a Peace Corps or like some sort of charity thing. But then it turns out he was in the diamond mining business. I was like, were you in the Sierra Leone doing some shady ass? I don't trust this guy. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

And she's just kind of staring at him with the crypto thing. And he goes, well, listen, if any. If anything comes out of this, do it for yourself. Do it for your kids. Get one full bitcoin.

[Ashley Darby]

And she's like, what's that?

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, it's like 58 grand.

[Ashley Darby]

She goes, wait, 58 bitcoins is a full bitcoin?

[Ben Mandelker]

And goes, no, $58,000 right now. Now is a full bitcoin. Which I got it. You know, I gotta hand it to him. Bitcoin. Is it like, $95,000 now? So.

[Ronnie Karam]

So it went up. Yeah. But there's something. I just don't feel like I trust this guy at all.

[Ben Mandelker]

Not at all. No, no. And then we kind of. But, you know, this guy's tricky in that he's like boyish looking and he's like completely hairless. Like a. I guess seals aren't hairless, right? But he looks like, like a dolphin. He's hairless like a dolphin and he's just got this like next door boy look. And so you're kind of buying it at first, but then, yeah, these flags start to come up. And so he's talking about digital currency and then it moves to. So what kind of person do you look for typically? And he goes, a beautiful smile and a fat ass. It's like, whoa, okay, yeah, there he is.

[Ronnie Karam]

I also, I also thought it was funny when Ashley said that. Like she's like, oh, wow.

[Shannon Beador]

He's like a diamond dealer and he's into crypto. I definitely think he is someone who can keep up with my lifestyle.

[Ronnie Karam]

Al, what's your lifestyle? Doing yoga and putting your children on a kitchen island? I think anyone can keep up with that lifestyle. Literally anyone. So anyway, everyone comes back to the main living quarters and they're all like hanging out and chatting. And there the Earl walks in with Shannon. Before they walk in, he plants a kiss on her and everyone's like, ooh, Earl the pearl.

[Ashley Darby]

It's like going to do that right in front of everybody in the lounge. Earl.

[Shannon Beador]

Wow, Earl, I. I appreciate you giving me that kiss, but I wasn't quite done chewing my taco, so let me just digest that. Okay? I hope I didn't get any cilantro in your teeth. That was fun.

[Ronnie Karam]

A.

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, yeah, well they missed a kiss last night so I had to do it for him.

[Ashley Darby]

Like, oh, you are Earl the squirrel.

[Shannon Beador]

Oh, A kiss by a pearl says, speaking of seal, someone should tell him to rename the song that I've been kissed by a Pearl in between tacos.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then we go back to Nashley and Nick and they're flirting and he's like, you know, normally I'm a very touchy feely guy.

[Ashley Darby]

And she goes, well then why haven't you touched me?

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, well, I guess I gotta step up my game if I want to win this prize.

[Ashley Darby]

And she goes, yeah, cuz that's like the first time you touched me, like ever. I'm gonna need more from you now. Neck.

[Ronnie Karam]

You know, he's like, resin that I touched that booty. Don't forget because remember he accidentally touched it. Or they show that he accidentally touched it.

[Shannon Beador]

And she's like, that was like a graze.

[Ronnie Karam]

He. Oh God, this guy like here's another red flag. Him being like, yeah, I'm really touchy feely, but he doesn't touch, you know? And, like, he's not able to answer, like, give a straight answer about whether he's dated a black girl before. Just. This guy's awful.

[Ben Mandelker]

Come on.

[Ashley Darby]

That was just a graze on my butt. That was a church grace. That was like a grace that I was. A grace on the butt that people do in church.

[Ben Mandelker]

I was like, well, she has been to Giselle's husband's church.

[Ronnie Karam]

Here's what.

[Ben Mandelker]

Pastor Holy. She has been.

[Ronnie Karam]

Here's what you have to do, Nick, okay? Put some Vaseline on your hand and just smack her ass and leave a print there. So that way she always knows it's romantic. Trust me.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then now Luann's kind of uncomfortable with Mark. Mark. Because she's like, well, this isn't too terrible, right? And he goes, no, it's really cool.

[Luann de Lesseps]

And she goes, yeah, gorgeous, huh?

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Jay goes and talks with Giselle, and he's like, so I've been hearing. Because, you know, I'm in the streets, and I heard it was all about day one, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. But then day two, three, and four, I hear the. When it's not Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. And she says like, oh, that's what the street said. Die. He's like, yeah, that's what the streets are talking. So Giselle tells us, you know, I find Jade to be somebody I dated before, and then it didn't go past state. 3. Like, Jay's a guy that's super nice, but where's the spark? I'm Sparkless. Where's the spark? Like, Jay is such a catch. The fact that she just keeps on being like, well, whatever with this guy. He's got a good personality. He's super hot. He's attentive to you. I mean, I feel like she's actually trying to say. There's no. I feel like she's trying to undermine it or sabotage.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know. But if there's no spark, there's no spark. What are you gonna do? So then we go to Shannon, and.

[Ashley Darby]

She'S like, well, Earl, I'm gonna show you something very important.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I've already seen the taco. You gonna show me that?

[Ashley Darby]

No, but I do have one in my purse. No, it's my room. It's my room, Earl.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, wow, so this is a whole separate living room. They really. That's really nice. They put us in a. They put us in a Basically a closet with a twin bed. So it's nice that they give you guys a nice, nice, nice room.

[Ashley Darby]

Yeah.

[Shannon Beador]

Well, this is. This is a living room. And that's the bedroom over there. I can't believe. This is wild. I brought you into my suite.

[Ashley Darby]

That's the taco corner. Okay, open my purse. Or I'll just open it.

[Shannon Beador]

That's my crying chair. I just sit there and cry sometimes. It's very nice.

[Ashley Darby]

That is my ankle mirror. I have it on the ground there. So it's like when you're trying on shoes. Like, can just see how my ankles look before I leave. Oh, and this is where I keep my ankle spanx in here. I'm just telling you everything about myself.

[Shannon Beador]

Sometimes I just take the ironing board out and just prop it up against the wall and lie at it and say, here lies Shadow Midor, killed by Ralph, who didn't choose her. Oh, yeah.

[Ashley Darby]

Oh, could you please turn the little sign on the door around that says, pull for vor Olympia? That means come in in, so they can find me here in case I die in the middle of the night from fat cankles.

[Shannon Beador]

Not that Ralph would ever know, since he doesn't seem to even care to look my way. I could have all the cankles in the world or no cankles. He would never know. I'm happy. So happy with my choice, Pearl.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now Nick walks Ashley to her room, and Shannon hears them, so she comes out, she goes, hey, Nick, I.

[Ashley Darby]

Was just talking about cankle spin. What are you doing?

[Shannon Beador]

Would you like to see my room? I'm stuck here with Earl of Pearl, and I'm trying to desperately end this conversation.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then Giselle pokes her head out.

[Ashley Darby]

Take off the gangle Spanx, Earl.

[Shannon Beador]

Stop putting away my. My tombstone. I left that ironing board out there on purpose.

[Ashley Darby]

Earl, that is my taco. Okay? Are you having a nice young young? Chris and night, Earl, do not not touch the refreshments.

[Shannon Beador]

They can tell when they've been moved. And I'll get charged $45.

[Ashley Darby]

I just got charged $8 from Earl moving a peanut around in the refrigerator. What are you doing, Nick?

[Ronnie Karam]

So they all keep. They all wind up poking their head out the the. Into the hallway. And Nick is like, what?

[Shannon Beador]

This is crazy.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, my God. Now another one. And, like, I heard a man in the hallway. I want to see. Is there fresh blood for me? Oh, it's just this creepy guy. Never mind.

[Ben Mandelker]

My Mick's like, ah. Why are you guys blocking me? Channel's like, I.

[Ashley Darby]

First of all, I do not like the word beep. Block time. I said it anyway. Block. I just.

[Shannon Beador]

Did Joel Kim Booster make you say that? God, that guy is a. Wow. He's really corrupting me, isn't he? I'm. I'm starting to grow some animosity towards him just a little bit. Oh, God. Oh, God.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they're all laughing, and so then basically, Nick drops Ashley off at her room and gives her a hug, but there's no kiss. Just a hug.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, you know, she's not gonna like that because she was just telling him, you got to touch me more. You got to take more initiative. Etc. Etc. So then, let's see, everybody goes to bed, and now it's the next day, and Luann and Ralph are walking along.

[Luann de Lesseps]

The beach, and she's like, oh, I go to Tulum. Do you know Mexico? Tulum, Mexico.

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, I've never been there. And she goes, really?

[Luann de Lesseps]

Oh, you should. You're in the music business. I mean, they have the best DJs in the world. Tulum girl.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's a sound engineer. What would he be doing in a land where people just press play on a.

[Ronnie Karam]

Have you ever heard of DJ Andrew Lloyd Weber? God, he puts on a good set. So Ralph, he's like, yeah, well, maybe I'll make it out there someday. So then Jay and Giselle are working out together, which is nice. And then Shannon and Earl are walking along the beach, and Earl's like, so, do you get waves like this at your place?

[Shannon Beador]

Yes, absolutely. In Orange county, they look just like this. Earl, I, I. Why are you still walking with me? I thought we sort of ended our date.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, well, no, tell me more about the waves.

[Shannon Beador]

Oh, okay. Well, they're just. They're much bigger up in Newport Beach. Much, much bigger. Huge. Yeah, I. I don't know if I have anything else left to say to you, Earl.

[Ashley Darby]

One time I rented a house on the sand for the summer. It was so nice. It was like 30 grand a month or something. David hated that. That was fun.

[Ben Mandelker]

That was.

[Ashley Darby]

Was fun.

[Ronnie Karam]

I once told my stepson that I would take him to a beach. Fortunately, I never got that chance. But I bought a ticket. I bought a ticket to the west coast, and it sits in my dining room to this day. And someday, he'll come back and we'll go to the beach.

[Shannon Beador]

Oh, okay. There's a lot of. A lot of open tabs with that stepson of yours. Maybe you should close up some loops. I don't Know, bad.

[Ashley Darby]

But your ankles do look really thin today, Earl.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, I will give these back to you. Promise. So then back at the hotel, Shannon has gotten everyone matching outfits so they can walk out like the Sex in the City girls. And it's. They're ridiculous. They're like bathing suits with a cover up. And then big Kathy Hilton bucket hat things with fluorescent colors and stuff.

[Shannon Beador]

Well, as long as Ralph is looking at all the women, I thought, well, here's what I. Here's my strategy. I'll cover every single person up, and now it'll be a personality contest. Touche, Giselle and Luann.

[Ashley Darby]

Oh, really? Try picking one bucket hat over the other bucket hat. I dare you, Ralph.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Giselle's like, ladies, we haven't discussed it, but we're very established women. We've made all of our money. We make more of our money. And how important are finances with a partner?

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, can these guys afford our lifestyles? That's the question. I mean, if you can't pay for me to go out to a piano bar three nights a week, well, then I don't know if I want you around.

[Luann de Lesseps]

How many of these guys have round houses? That's the question.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Giselle's like, do you think Earl can afford it?

[Ben Mandelker]

Duh.

[Shannon Beador]

Well, I. I'm not sure about Earl. I think he's devoted a lot of money to some sort of stepson. He's waiting to come back into his life.

[Ashley Darby]

Well, he could certainly afford motorcycles that he leaves in garages. Undrived, so. Or driven, rather. So I guess he's a little wasteful in the finance department.

[Ronnie Karam]

Dolores is like, wait a second. He just has a motorcycle in the middle of the house. He's a keeper. So. So Ashley is like, yeah, we have Sanders. Yes. And partners who need to have the same lifestyle and want to go out about and sing cabaret every night of the week. It's important. And so basically they're like trying to say, yeah, we need these guys to be able to. We're not gold diggers. We just don't want to pay for everything for them.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

And just I was like, well, I never thought on day one I'd be hanging out with Carol Channing with Napuka necklace, but here I am. And now she's like, yeah, what about.

[Ashley Darby]

Phil Peach your interest?

[Ben Mandelker]

And she says, bel Air. And Phil told me he has a house manager.

[Ronnie Karam]

I like to call him the crusty prince of Bel Air. So then Giselle is like, by the way, Shannon. So with Earl, what about finances? With Earl. Because I looked and it looks like he's wearing some very cheap sneakers.

[Shannon Beador]

And she's like, well, you know, I know his finances. Maybe not the top. Like, he might not be the wealthiest man in Atlanta.

[Ronnie Karam]

And man, he goes, really? So you're just gonna go live in a two bath bedroom ranch?

[Shannon Beador]

I, I, I don't know if I want to live in a ranch. But, you know, he actually doesn't live on a ranch. He's actually very close to Atlanta.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, it's a house. It's a poor person house. It's not round sad. You see it on regular house hunters. You don't want to live in one of them. That's what I've got to say.

[Ashley Darby]

She goes, well, actually, I like that style of house. But I would say, I don't know, I don't really know. Now we're in great French style homes, so I really don't know how I feel about that. Yes.

[Shannon Beador]

Do we know if does is, is Thousand island an option for a house? Because I would not be mad at that either.

[Ashley Darby]

Can I live in Gorgonzola?

[Shannon Beador]

Creamy Deal.

[Ronnie Karam]

Creamy D. So Shannon's basically saying, you.

[Shannon Beador]

Know, my, my last two relationships have been with narcissists, and my picker isn't working very well, so I need to choose a different type of man. I need to attract myself to someone with a big heart. Or I could also go for Ralph again.

[Ashley Darby]

I'm gonna go for Ralph one more time.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now Joel's like, hello, my beautiful love hotel guests. How are we feeling? How did it go last night? Well, next on the itinerary, a wise woman said, your husband is in the pool.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's not on this show, but it's a fun illusion to make. So we hope that your future husband is lurking somewhere in what we like to call the dating pool, where your husband might be. See, it's. If you think, follow it through. Your husband's in the pool, and your husband's in the dating pool. Is everyone following.

[Ashley Darby]

Question. Is the artichoke on my artichoke dip on my bill? Because I still have not received it and I ordered that two days ago.

[Shannon Beador]

Is. Wait, your husband's in the pool? Sort of like my tortilla chip is in the artichoke dip.

[Ashley Darby]

Right, everyone, I'll tell you where my husband was. At the beach with a slot.

[Ben Mandelker]

So he's like, okay, guys, stay vulnerable. Okay? Stay bra, stay raw. Because now new men are coming into the hotel to woo you. And I guarantee you, four out of four of them are going to be bald. They're like, oh, my God.

[Ashley Darby]

Oh, girl.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, no.

[Ashley Darby]

I worry about Earl. What's Earl gonna do?

[Shannon Beador]

What's Earl gonna do when I inevitably drop him for someone who's just slightly better than him? Because, honestly, that ranch house thing, Luann kind of put a bug in my ear about that.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Joel's, Joel's like, are you excited? Are you nervous? Are you a little overwhelmed?

[Shannon Beador]

Well, I, I, I am a little overwhelmed, but that's just how I wake up every day. Okay, continue on, Joel.

[Ben Mandelker]

So new guys are coming, which means they've got to dump guys right now. And they're like, oh, that's uncool, Joel. You can't make us do this. And he's like, you must pick one guy. You will get a key. And when you give them a key, they can stay. So the guys are like, oh, my God. Who's going to stay? Who's going to go?

[Ronnie Karam]

So now it's time to pick. So Wale is feeling a little uneasy because he's not sure if Ashley is like, maybe start to get into Nick, you know? And Jay. Jay goes, can J. Can Joel be eliminated? I'm joking. I'm joking. And Joel's like, oh, Jay's got jokes. All of a sudden, Joel, like, Joel did not like that at all. He's like, oh, I see. Jade's got jokes. No personality, but suddenly you've got jokes. Wow. Wow. Some. Sounds like somebody's a little nervous. You're coming from my job. Okay, Jade, why don't you be the host of the Love Hotel? It's like, okay, Joel.

[Ben Mandelker]

She goes online the next day. He's like, at least I'm not a piece of. Who thinks they're famous?

[Ashley Darby]

You're not famous, you loser.

[Ronnie Karam]

J, whoever you are. Middling letter of the Alphabet, good luck. And Scrabble. Barely being used. Oh, you're worth more points. That's because no one wants you.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right, eight point J. Everybody's horrified that they pull out of a bag.

[Ronnie Karam]

Blue Jays. More like Blue Ball Jays, because no one wants to you.

[Ashley Darby]

Oh, my God. Everyone, the waiter's very upset.

[Shannon Beador]

Please, please be more respectful to the staff.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now they have to give out their keys. And Joel, let's see. So, blah, blah, blah. So Luann starts.

[Luann de Lesseps]

She goes, all right, let's start with Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry.

[Ronnie Karam]

God.

[Luann de Lesseps]

God. Is there a wood pile we can throw Jerry onto and light a match? Because. Jesus Christ. No, Jerry.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right, now let's talk about Mark.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Wow, Santa.

[Ben Mandelker]

The first Santa I've ever Met that.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Can fit down a chimney. I don't have a chimney, Loser. Find a different house. All right. I'm keeping Ralph. Ralph's hotter.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, there's a lot of people to choose from. I'm keeping Ralph because he's tall. She literally says that. I like how tall Ralph is. Jerry, you've got a nice personality. I like that you like to build things because you're a carpenter in Puerto Rico. That's fun for people down there, I'm sure. And, Mark, congratulations on your beard. You're both short and stupid. Ralph, get over here. Come to Mama.

[Ben Mandelker]

Luanna. Because Ralph is taller. You have Jerry, you have Mark. They're actually fighting for you. Ralph. Because she still wants Ralph. So then Luann's like, well, I have.

[Luann de Lesseps]

A good radar when it comes to people. Tom, Tom, Tom.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, There you go. Case adjourned.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Luann's like, yes, I've got Ralph. Suck it, missy. That's a call back. But I know she's watching. So Luanne has Ralph, and it's very happy. And Joel. Joel is now like, Joel. Joel's like, okay, Shannon, you're in the hot seat now, and we know that you've had some good connections since you started being in here.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lol.

[Ronnie Karam]

That was a joke. Everyone has run from you.

[Shannon Beador]

Oh, well, that's a little bit rude for a bellhop to say. I feel like service people should be seen and not heard. That's okay. Well, I've been on a date with Earl, and I think he's a great person. He has a lot of trauma, and I'm kind of turned on by that. We laugh a lot. We laugh a lot. In question. Cry. There's crying. There's actually a good amount of crying, I would have to say. But, you know, crying is like, laughter for me. Okay. I'm giving my key to Earl. Yeah.

[Ashley Darby]

Shocking.

[Shannon Beador]

I'm.

[Ashley Darby]

I'm picking Earl the pearl. I mean, who else am I gonna pick? Ralph? That boat has sailed. So we have kissed. He's seen the inside of my room. He's taken every snack out of the refrigerator. And if I don't keep him here, who's gonna pay me back?

[Shannon Beador]

That didn't sound right. That's in. Rats. All right. Anyway, I'm looking forward to a future life in a small ranch home and a cul de sac in Norville, Georgia.

[Ashley Darby]

Wait for Earl to promise my girls a motorcycle they'll never lay their hands on.

[Shannon Beador]

How? Hey, maybe. Maybe one of my daughters will leave their person's school and ride that motorcycle for Earl. So he shuts up about it already. Okay, what are we talking about? Joel.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Ashley is like, you know, Joel was. Joel was gonna have a big day with me because Nick said that we didn't spend a lot of time together. So I thought we could have a pool date this morning. But then we would have had a date today at the pool, but he wasn't there, so my chemistry with Wale is insane. And he gave me a kiss. Oh, no. He gave me two kisses. So I'm gonna get a third kiss. I'm choosing Wale.

[Ronnie Karam]

Nick, man, I mean, you didn't even show up for your pool day. Come on. Now, Now. So, yeah, she's going to wall. I mean, Wally's hot. He's got a great smile. He's got a good personality. So she is into Wale. And then. Then he's like, can we do a third kiss right now? So they make out, and Joel's like, wow, number three on the kiss counter keep getting better and better. Giselle, we saved you for last. You keep your cards close to your chest. So let's see which gentleman you have a spark with. So she's like, well, I'm going to say off the rip. This is very difficult for me. If I had to pick, I was going to pick Ralph. There's really no other choice but Ralph. Everyone else here is garbage. Wouldn't want to date any single one of you. But someone took Ralph. So Jay, every day's like, geez, I.

[Ben Mandelker]

Don'T know how I'm supposed to take that. And she doesn't reassure him. And everyone's like, well, congrats, Jay. And he goes, yeah, well, I'm not sure how to take that. And she still doesn't reassure him, which I love. Loved. She's like, you are a second choice. Is there a better way to word it? No. So just sit down, Jay. So she says, I have.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm gonna. Sorry. I'm gonna hatch a small theory here, which is that. And this could be totally off base, I think that she likes Jay, and I think that she's scared that she likes Jay, which is why she is saying, like, she's. She keeps coming up with excuses why Jay is not right. And, I mean, she says there's no spark, which is literally, like, all one needs to say. But I'm still doing my theory. And I think that now she is trying to intentionally, like. I think that she was intentionally trying to kind of, like, push him away, like, jab him, you know, nagging him. Yeah. Or she just literally just doesn't want him to get the wrong message. And it's like, I have to pick someone, so I'll pick you, Jay, but I'm not interested in you. So that's probably the realistic one.

[Ben Mandelker]

But I. I mean, I'm not picking up on energy from her that she likes Jay, but, you know, that's. It's her. So you never know with Giselle, because I never picked up on energy with her and Jason either. I thought that was so weird. And I. I guess I picked up a little with her and her ex husband. Like when they pretended to get back together for a season. There was a little bit there. But, yeah, it's Giselle, so you never know what you're getting with that one.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I think I just really am committed to my narrative, and so I'm gonna hatch a theory that's gonna work for me. Despite any signs coming from Giselle.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's great. I support them.

[Ronnie Karam]

Together. Together.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Joel is like, okay, well, as your love concierge, I did.

[Ashley Darby]

Oh, is that his title? So he still brings dip, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

I did pull a couple of strings, and I have one last key, so you get to keep one last man. Girls, who's it going to be? So they have to vote. And Jerry's like, oh, I just like to say, had I brought my guitar, I would have written a song about Luanne. Leanne. Luann, Leanne Man. Lewis. Lewis. The sandpapery one over there. And it would have gone a little something like this.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Oh, I'll tell you how it had gone. Love for sale. Get out, Jerry. You're done.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Giselle is like, leanne is not in the building, Jerry. There's Luan, there's Countess, but there is no Leanne. Leanne Lock and just shows up. You bet. Damn right. Yes. Sure is a Leon right here. And I'm ready. Sure, I'm married already, but I don't care. I'm ready to come back on tv. Okay. I poked at my husband's eye. I'll poke out yours. Okay. Write me that song.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they're trying to decide who they're going to take, and they're, you know.

[Ashley Darby]

Who do they end up taking?

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, okay. So here it is. They're discussing it, and Shannon's like, oh.

[Ashley Darby]

My God, my heart is pounding. It's pounding. Did we already pick, right? Ralph.

[Shannon Beador]

It's Ralph. Okay, everyone, let's choose Ralph again. And I'll be the one to announce at the show that I really, really like Ralph.

[Ronnie Karam]

And basically Luan wants to. I, I. I forget who Luan wants to save, but, oh, she wanted to keep Mark. She wanted to do another. Give Mark another shot. But Giselle is like, no. Phil is creepy and strange and talks and. And talks and looks in the. Looks out of the distance when he talks to you. But he's wealthy. Bel Air, no ranch homes.

[Luann de Lesseps]

Well, I'm trying to be a team player here, but I'm outvoted, so there's not much I can do about it. God damn it.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they end up keeping weirdo Phil. And Ashley's like, well, you know, I'm.

[Ashley Darby]

All about getting my girl hooked up. I've been trying to get Giselle hooked up for 10 years.

[Ben Mandelker]

So he gets to stay, and then we're gonna meet new guys next week, and we say goodbye to the guys who aren't chosen. And Mark's like, you know, my goal.

[Ashley Darby]

Here was to be organic, and I did that.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm still made of skin and bones, so.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Jerry says, well, I'm feeling a bit surprised. I mean, Luann does belong to me. I thought it was a race between myself and Mark, and now neither of us. Neither of us have her.

[Shannon Beador]

And now she's like, yeah, well, you know, I wish I could say that I have this, like, emotional, cerebral, psychological connection that I. With Wally, but my Gucci picked him. My Gucci gave Wally the key. Yeah, I'm just. I want to do nasty things to him. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then we see clips from next week, and they are hilarious. Shannon. They're all having a group dinner, and Shannon just turns to her own, goes, what?

[Ashley Darby]

What do you mean you don't eat vegetables?

[Shannon Beador]

I've never seen this side of you, Earl. I can't believe it.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's furious. And he goes, how come every time you talk to me, it's like you're. You're about to slap me? And she's like.

[Ashley Darby]

She's like, I will not. I cannot. I will not.

[Ben Mandelker]

And walks off. Does the Shannon storm off?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Well, remember last week, he. He thought he had to eat that entire bowl of beans, like, decorative beans. He's like, wow, it's a big bowl for these beans.

[Shannon Beador]

Those are not edible, Earl.

[Ronnie Karam]

So he really doesn't know his way around vegetables.

[Ben Mandelker]

Shannon flying off the panel about vegetables. I'm in.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I'm. I'm totally in. And there was something I was going to say about this, but I don't remember, so who cares? But it's highly entertaining, and I'm excited for. Excited to see how this all shakes oh, here's what I was going to say. The one thing that at this show that's a little tricky with this show is that ultimately, like, Phil lives in Arizona and Bel Air and Giselle lives in Potomac. And what's funny is that all these women are, with the exception of Luann, who's not on a show anymore, but they're all geographically tied to their TV shows. Like, their TV shows are rooted in their. In like where they live. So Giselle can't just like go and have a relationship with Phil in Bel Air, you know, that means she has to forfeit her TV show. And she's not going to do that.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're thinking it's too hard. These people aren't staying with these, man.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's what I'm saying. It's like they should at least pass people who are geographically, like, appropriate. So with at least the. You can at least maintain the illusion a little bit better.

[Ben Mandelker]

But that's like the Bachelor, you know, they come from all over and then they try to make it work with their long distance relationship and then they see each other at Chella.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Nashville. Okay, well, this is fun. This is a fun show. I love it. And thanks everyone for being here. We will catch you on the next episode and go get tickets to our live shows. There's only a few left. Bye, everyone.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bye.

[Ronnie Karam]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King it's always a party on Alison Block.

[Ben Mandelker]

Our way is viewed the Amber way.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster she can run my country. It's Angie McGovern it's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

[Ben Mandelker]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila She's a Daniella Etchells we never miss her call It's Diane call Aaron mcnicholas she don't.

[Ronnie Karam]

Miss no Trickolus Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie she has no less.

[Ben Mandelker]

Namey she's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with.

[Ronnie Karam]

Jessica Trotch she's our favorite streamer.

[Ben Mandelker]

Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B.

[Ronnie Karam]

Ringing the funk It's Leslie Plunkett she.

[Ben Mandelker]

Gets a name from us it's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisalino Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.

[Ronnie Karam]

Berg this is living with Michelle Vivian.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love a YA Olivia Williamson Tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson she sure is swell It's Raquel yes we can.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Ellsworth the Bay area betches Betches and our super.

[Ben Mandelker]

Premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

[Ronnie Karam]

Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

[Ben Mandelker]

We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Ronnie Karam]

Let'S get real with Caitlin O'Neal don't.

[Ben Mandelker]

Get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

[Ronnie Karam]

Who, what, why, where?

[Ben Mandelker]

And Gwen Pentland it's our queen It's.

[Ronnie Karam]

Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jamie Kendall Know your words with Jason.

[Ronnie Karam]

Kurt Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Juni, my Favorite Murdo Karen.

[Ben Mandelker]

McMurdo she gets an A It's Kelly B.

[Ronnie Karam]

We love it him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron she's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy always killing it It's Lola.

[Ben Mandelker]

Al Kalani the incredible edible Matthew sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose we're on the floor with Molly Dorset There's a chance of meatballs It's.

[Ronnie Karam]

Rebecca Cloud she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, let's take off with Ted it's.

[Ben Mandelker]

Always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet cootard. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wonder plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.

[I]

Some people get a wild haircut or book a spontaneous trip when life throws them a curveball. But Molly, well, she dove headfirst into a world of no strings attached sex, secret rendezvous, forbidden affairs and unforgettable adventures and together we tell every juicy detail in Dying for Sex, Wondery's award winning podcast that's now streaming on a TV near you, starring Michelle Williams Williams and Jenny Slade. And to top it off, we're dropping brand new bonus episodes where I sit down with the cast to spill all the spicy secrets, desire, friendship, self discovery and the ultimate bucket list of pleasure. This is a story that had everyone talking. Listen to the original Dying for Sex and brand new episodes on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge the original series before anyone else and completely ad free on Wondri.