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Ben
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Ron
Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?
Ben
Well, hello and welcome to Watch what crappens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one, guys. It's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay. It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So Kristen's like so Buddha, if I remember correctly, you've done a lot of en crout. How's Massimo's? And he's like, oh, fantastic. I mean, two hours to make pastry, bake it up, fill it up. I mean, kudos to him. Yeah, Gails. Gails en croute Snuggie. Doesn't really compare, does it, Gail?
Ron
So Patrick, this guy Patrick is like, he likes it. And. But he's like, well, is it a.
Ben
Big girl's like the opposite of an crude. A Gail. An crude is like backwards on crute because an crude is fish wrapped in carbs. And Galen crude is carbs wrapped in Gale.
Ron
I often say Gail's hair is on groot just because it's so crusty.
Ben
We did Gale's 23andMe and it came back and it just said white bread.
Ron
So Tom is like, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah. This is like, maybe it's not a big, not a big risk. But since we have a. We have an actor here, I'll just say first take. You don't go back and do it again. You hit it on the first take. Am I right? And Tarzan's like, yeah, run out of time. The sun's going down. You got to get the shot. You know, you're about to go into overtime. You don't want to pay those guild dues. You know, the drivers are ready to take you off the set. You're waiting for your rundown, your call sheet for tomorrow. Am I right? Actoring.
Ben
Yeah. So now they talk about Lana's dish and Tarzan's like, you know, I don't know how into this was, but I don't want every role I get either. And so I'm just going to call this dish. But I choose my career sometimes, and that is doing it for the insurance.
Ron
Hitting my SAG minimum. That's what I call this as pipette. I squeeze this pipette. Yeah.
Ben
So he. He's like, love the heart behind it. No pun intended. That was actor pun. Cause there's little hearts here. Okay. But, you know, this did bring me back to New Orleans, and it reminded me of my mom's fried food, but it sucked. So it turns out my mom can't cook. Okay. If my mom ever made a decent meal, that would be a stunt. That was Tarzan here. Tarzan clocking in.
Ron
For me, this just kind of was like a fried pile of cornmeal. Gail, stop talking about your shampoo. We're trying to judge of some food here.
Ben
It just tasted raw. Well, imagine how the cornmeal felt.
Ron
So then, yeah, they don't like this cornmeal. And then in the kitchen, their Bailey and Cesar are getting ready for, you know, for their. Their food to come out. And Cesar is having some issue with his friend, his fish twills, because they're not cooking. They're cooking too fast on the. On the flat top. So he has to go to a pan, and then he has to rush things, and some are getting burned, and he's being sloppy, and everything's going to shit for Cesar.
Ben
Yeah. And so he's pissed. And next up is Don. Don. Don't. Don't. Cesar and Bailey. So they do think that Bailey's dishes dessert, which is crazy. And Tarzan's like, is this dessert? Wow. Or is it acting like somebody else? God. This dessert is almost enough. Good enough action to know Tommy Cruise.
Ron
Did this dessert go to Stella Adler because it is. It is really playing a part right now. Wow. It is.
Ben
This tiramisu is method.
Ron
He, by the way, he actually has, like, a very hard time getting over the fact that it's not dessert. He's like, so this is not dessert? Because it looks like dessert like no, it's a. It's a lasagna. Pretty sure it's dessert. It looks like tiramisu. It's dessert. Guys, come on. I'm an actor, but I'm not. I'm not dumb. It's a dessert. Guys, come on.
Ben
Tom's like, I think that's a trick, you know, because it's supposed to look like dessert, but it's not. But why would someone want to eat something that looks like dessert that's not dessert? I mean.
Ron
Come on. He's, like, going to call his publicist. What? The sort of shows you put me on with dessert? The desserts that taste like main meals or the main meals that look like dessert?
Ben
I don't know.
Ron
I don't know what the this is, but get me off it.
Ben
These tried to trick me. Do they know who I am? I'm an actor.
Ron
I'm Tarzan. So Bailey's like, so I made a tiramisu fugazi. I made a porcini crispelle, a norcina sausage, bolognese bechamel, layered in with just a little bit of truffle. And basically, I just made it look like a slice of cake, but it's actual lasagna. Tarzan, are you okay? You seem to be sneering at me and very angry at the moment.
Ben
Bailey's constant pasta is making me crazy. And now I know this isn't pasta. This is crepes that she's calling a lasagna. But I still just get annoyed that she keeps saying pasta, pasta. Like, I get it. You work in an Italian. You're like nomad without the name nomad.
Ron
You know, constant pasta is all she cooks.
Ben
Like, I get it. You work in an Italian restaurant. So Cesar is like, this is a miniature CN Tower. So your mission is to break through it. Fish twill that's on top, and inside you'll find arctic char. And then you have a secret weapon, and it's going to be sauce. And sure, make sure to grab one, but don't do it too fast, because they get scared by sudden moves. I don't like stunts. They're scary.
Ron
By the way, this is, I think, the first time I've ever heard the phrase, your secret weapon is going to be sauce. How? You're going to break into the CN Tower, and you're going to do it with sauce.
Ben
Wow. Well, that's handy. Gail's already got some of that secret weapon all over her face. Hey, can someone give Gail the stunt of a napkin?
Ron
Here's a stunt. Clearing. Clearing. Gale's plate before she's licked every single last scrap off of it. I hope you don't mind bite marks. So.
Ben
And Tarzan's like, wait a minute. This is sweet too. Is this sweet? Why is this sweet? And he's like, well, there's a romaine jam in there. Doesn't that sound good? Romaine jam. It's a jam made out of romaine.
Ron
What? A romaine jam. So then, yes, Tarzan is losing his mind, because the thing that looks like dessert is actually a sa. It's actually savory. And the thing that looks like dinner is it tastes like dessert. And he's like, I don't understand this, okay? I'm an actor, but no one told me to prepare for this, okay? I don't know what sort of response I'm supposed to have. What is the motivation of me right now. This is out of my control.
Ben
That's a custard. There's a custard in there as well. So that dish also sounds crazy. So then now they're talking about Bailey's dish, and they. They like it, okay? They actually really like it. And they're like, wow. Tom's like, well, you know, crepes are a little thick and doughy. Are you just gonna let that one sit on the table? Listen, everybody, I can't do everything, okay? I'm up here trying to ask Lucy Ricardo she ever broke up with that handsome Cuban.
Ron
Tarzan, why don't you give it a try? Okay, Your prompt is this is like, this crepe is a little thick and doughy. Okay? Tarzan, go.
Ben
I've been in movies, Idiot.
Ron
Have you been in a movie with Lena Waithe? I didn't think so. Go back to being stupid.
Ben
So Tarzan's like, I felt deceived, though. I felt deceived because, like, one was savory, one was custardy. I just. Just don't get it. So do they like the sweetness of Caesar's dish? And one of the judges is like, no. The oil from the tool melt with the custard. No, it's not good. And Buddha's like, well, the fish was handled nicely. Presentation was great, but it needed some acidity to cut through that sweetness. I didn't really understand that. I would have preferred if the acidity was being lifted by fire created by sunflower seeds that had been raised rehomogenized with a little bit of natural kerosene.
Ron
I Instead of having a fish tw that we break, he should have made a blimp out of fish tw and it floats over the table, and you have to throw tiny forks at it and hope it crashes. That's a stunt.
Ben
Well, I'm finding the twill to be somehow burnt. Yeah, well, that's like when Gail was in dance class as a little kid and her tool was almost burnt because of her thighs rubbing together during paa time.
Ron
Plie time. More like please get out of here time. So Tarzan's like, hey, I'm a big, sweet person. I'm almost as into sweets as I'm into acting. So when I taste that the sweet was, like, not sweet. I was like, huh. I mean, the fish was good, but together, I don't know. I don't know what sort of you people are doing, but on the cat on the set of Mission Impossible, the sweet things were sweet and the savory things were savory. And I've had enough of this bullshit.
Ben
Wow. Actors, huh? I finally found someone dumber than a mixologist. Something. He's like, yeah, you know, And I had a different idea of what stunts were going to look like. Did I ever tell you what I pulled off with Tommy Cruise? I mean, that was on the side of a plane. Okay, now you're gonna put some ice cream into a fish, and I'm supposed to clap. I'm sorry, guys. I need some sparkles in the food, okay? So at least I can say, wow, there's sparkles, there's danger. Watch out.
Ron
He's not wrong. He's like, I came all the way up here to Toronto to shoot this scene with you guys, and there's not any sparkler anywhere. I just have to pretend that I care that a fish on crute was made in two hours.
Ben
Yeah. How was something not like flambed or something where you light a little string and it goes and then starts the fire? You know, something.
Ron
I mean, it just like a flaming Dr. Pepper at this point. Geez. So. So then in the kitchen, Vinnie is making his lasers. This is the first time we actually see his lasers. I love that he decided to do lasers because he's, like, trying to do a stunt. But when we actually see these lasers, it's like, it's breadsticks. It's breadsticks.
Ben
It's literal breadsticks rested on top of a bowl. Okay. They don't look like lasers. There's nothing laser about this. But he calls them lasers. Now. His dish. Beautiful. It does look like very high end.
Ron
Starts off beautiful.
Ben
Yeah, it looks gorgeous. I mean, the artwork of it is just beautiful. It looks really good. But then he Decides he needs to do more to make it a stunt. So he has it in a bowl, and then it's served on a plate. And then he pours dry ice all over it. All over the plate, which freezes the dish.
Ron
Freezes the entire thing. The entire thing. Like the sa. Like, because the dish, like, the two plates are actually melded together because it's like a bowl with a dish, and then there's the bowl under it that has the dry ice, and they just freeze together. And meanwhile, Tristan, because he's. Tristan's also using dry ice because his whole thing is that he's going to serve his sauce. And you know how he's like, oh, you have to get to the sauce before it gets too cold. So he's serving his sauce in a bowl with dry ice. And the idea is that if they wait too long to get to the sauce, the dry ice is going to make it too cold, and they're going to, like, they're going to fail. So it's adding like a ticking clock. But the problem is that he doesn't get to present his food first. So he's just sitting there waiting before two people while his just gets frozen over also. Yes.
Ben
So Tristan's. You know, they. They're like, oh, my God, that's so clever. A timer went off. We had to get the sauce for the thing. Oh, my God. Why is my chicken bleeding? Moose? But let's see. So we get to Shuai.
Ron
Start with Shuai first, though.
Ben
Yeah, let's start with Shuai.
Ron
Yeah, he actually goes first, which I think the producers did on purpose just to over the two people who use dry ice, knowing that the dry ice was gonna mess up their dishes. So Schwai is like, you know, actually, no. Vinnie starts. But then we have Shuai, who then has his turducken, which I still don't understand the stunt here. This is actually the most. This may be the biggest stretch of all. Like, there's no stunt here. This is just a turducken.
Ben
Yeah. And he doesn't even make it sound like a stunt. He. He sells his is. I'm sticking with my trashy fantasy theme. They're like, okay, so then being Gale isn't a stunt, it's just a sadness. So Tristan is like, yeah, this is chicken Impossible. It's a chicken wing stuffed with a virus of crab.
Ron
A virus of crab and doing sausage and chicken.
Ben
So the antidote is American flavored, like the Viet Cajun seafood bowl. Okay. So now it's judging time, and they can't eat Vinnies. It's, like, literally frozen. And Tom was like, well, if the mission was to make ice pop out of raw beef. Nailed it.
Ron
Nailed it. Yeah. And they basically can't eat it, and they try to eat it, and they just can't at all. And Buddha's like, in terms of story, I was blown away. I mean, the key, the lasers. I mean, if he levitated away from the dry ice, it could have been a very, very interesting dish. Or if he just made the dish love it. Why can't any of these people make these dishes float? That's all I asked for. Floating food.
Ben
Yeah. And Kristen's like, well, I want to try it. So does anybody have a piece that's not frozen? So Tom's like, yeah, here you go. And it's rock solid. Gail's like, that is rock solid. I can't. And so, yeah, the Schweize dish is next. And someone likes the texture, but they don't love. They think there needs to be more veg or whatever.
Ron
Yeah.
Ben
And Gail's like, well, that is a well constructed turducken. We'll say that.
Ron
Anyone? Anyone? Anne Boleyn, you want to get in on this? Okay, hold on. Anne Boleyn says the following. She has no head. I'm sorry. She didn't have any jokes.
Ben
She tried moving her mouth, but nothing came out because her voice box is still stuck on her body.
Ron
Still more interesting than anything Gail ever says. Am I right? So then we'll talk about Tristan's. And one thing that happened with Tristan's is his whole stunt of, like, you got to get the sauce out of these bowls before, like, in 30 seconds, before it got too cold, but because the dry ice was, like, going. When they all reach in, did you notice that? Clearly the sauce was, like, ice cold. And they're all reaching in. Like, they're all, like, their fingers. They're like. They didn't want to touch. They're, like, freezing their fingers off.
Ben
Yeah. So that was kind of a fail. But Buddha thinks it was tasty and textural and well seasoned. And he's like, well, you know what? Patrick says the dish at least had a point of view and was delicious. And the sauce was the best thing we ate today. It was restaurant ready. So they liked his. He. He got off well again. And then they're like, overall, it was decent, but yikes. So we go to. I like the little judge. We didn't hear much from her, but she. One of the dishes, she goes, wow, this mission was impossible. What did she say? Yeah, she said something like that. She was.
Ron
It was impossible. Yeah, they're also like, you know, they're also like, guys, we have, we have an actor here and this is what you served us. Come on. They're so embarrassed.
Ben
Well, it wasn't Tom Cruise. You know what I mean? That's what they always do. Well, actually, didn't Jurassic Park. They got Ron. I hate calling her Ron Howard's daughter, but I always forget her name.
Ron
Did they? No, I think that she did like a video. But the actress that they got was a minor actress. They've been getting like, decline, like smaller and smaller actors for these movies, you know?
Ben
Yeah, I guess.
Ron
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had Charlize there in one year, but after that it's been like, here's someone who has a small role in this blockbuster.
Ben
Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
Ron
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Ron
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Ben
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Desiree
Everyone has that friend who seems kind of perfect for Patty. That friend was Desiree. Until one day I texted her and.
Ben
She was not getting the text.
Ron
So I went to Instagram. She has no Instagram anymore.
Ben
And Facebook.
Ron
No Facebook anymore.
Desiree
Desiree was gone. And there was one person who knew the answer.
Ron
I am a spiritual person, a magical.
Desiree
Person, a witch, a gorgeous Brazilian influencer called Cat Torres. But who was hiding a secret from Wondery, based on my smash hit podcast, from Brazil comes a new series, Don't Cross Cat, about a search that led me to a mystery in a Texas suburb.
Ron
I'm to going calling to check on.
Ben
The two missing Brazilian girls. Maybe get some undercover crew there.
Ron
The family are freaking out.
Ben
They are lost.
Desiree
I'm Chico Felitti. You can listen to Don't Cross Cat on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Molly
Some people get a wild haircut or book a spontaneous trip when life throws them a curveball. But Molly, well, she dove headfirst into a world of no strings attached sex, secret rendezvous, forbidden affairs and unforgettable adventures. And Together we tell every juicy detail in Dying for Sex, Wondry's award winning podcast that's now streaming on a TV near you, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. And to top it off, we're dropping brand new bonus episodes where I sit down with the cast to spill all the spicy secrets, desire, friendship, self discovery and the ultimate bucket list of pleasure. This is a story that had everyone listen to the original Dying for Sex and brand new episodes on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge the original series before anyone else and completely ad free on Wonder Plus.
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At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.
Ben
Okay, so let's go to judges table. Tristan Bailey, Massimo, please stay here. You had favorite dishes of the day Holler. So yeah, Massimo goes, this was me running through a wall for you.
Ron
They're like, it's you made fish in the pastry. Buddha's like, massimo, I've done Wellington's before inside the Top Chef kitchen. It's definitely a hard thing to do. And I thought you did extremely well. Although one thing I did notice about your fish, it wasn't floating. Have you even thought about putting helium in it? Come on now.
Ben
Kristen's like, wow. So satisfying. Rich, heavy. It was just the savory bomb we expected. And Buddha's like, oh. I felt like it was a stunt double when it came out. Great job. And Tarzan's like, I don't even trust you, Bailey, because I had tiramisu. But then once I got past it, I had to say, whoa, I'm not eating sweets.
Ron
How am I going to explain this to Tom Cruise when I already texted him, dude, they're serving me tiramisu. You know, you only get one shot with that guy. So Buddha's like. He's like, tristan, can you tell us more about how you came up with the. Your virus, Your. Your chicken moose virus? Chicken wing. He's like, yeah, well, there is this mission impossible where they had to put a virus into, like, someone's arm. And I thought, you know what I want to do? I already made chocolate soil last week, so now let me make chicken virus. You know, during this time when we have avian bird flu going around, let's make some virus and put it into a chicken. Chicken wing.
Ben
So then Boodle loved it. He liked it. He liked the story as well. Tom loved the flavors. So it's up to Tarzan to announce the winner. And he's like, as an actor, I would like to say the winning chef today was not Tom Cruise, but Tom Cruise could have played this role. Telling you might have won an Oscar for it if he was dangling off the side of the building while he did it, which I've done with him because I'm an actor. But guess who the win is? I forgot line.
Ron
And the winner is Mossimo for your non floating fish. And Mossimo's like, oh, hey. Well, as they say, you know, in hockey, they say you have to learn how to lose before you learn how to win. That explains Gale's fashion sense. Still waiting for that win, though.
Ben
22 seasons in, we haven't gotten to that win. But.
Ron
Wow. So he's basically like, now I'm meeting up. I'm on cloud nine. Buddha's like, don't tempt me with a floating cloud. So, Kristen, So he wins $10,000 and two tickets for you and a guest to go to the premiere of the new Mission Impossible movie, courtesy of Paramount Pictures, where you'll be flown by Spirit Airlines, a new spirit in the sky. Spirit Airlines.
Ben
And Tarzan's like, and you're sitting with me. And he's like, oh, God. Is Tom Cruise gonna be there?
Ron
I don't know, but they usually put me at the back of the theater. So you're gonna sit with me.
Ben
Well, I gotta sit with this fucking guy. He's gonna be sat by the popcorn stand. The hell?
Ron
I really want to know if he's gonna sit next to. If he's gonna sit next to Tarzan. Like, I actually want follow through on that, because that's got. I think that premiere must be happening this week or something like that. I want to know, did they sit next to each other? Because you can't make a promise like that on TV and not follow through. Tarzan.
Ben
Yeah, I guess we'll see where Tarzan lands. So then the. The other chefs on the bottom are Lonnie, Vinnie, and Cesar. Guys, you sucked. Let's talk about it. So, Lana, what was the crumble? And she's like, my mom. My mom. My mom. Love my mom. And so my mom. And then I folded in a little bit of maltodextrin to give that powdery look. And Gail's like, so when you say you cook that down, was that in a saute pan? And she goes, no, I baked it. She goes, okay, that makes much more sense. That makes much more sense. You baked it, so you failed. So if this were an egg, would you say that this was a burnt, charred, rubbery egg?
Ron
You know, my big problem is that the cornmeal never became hydrated. It's like, you might as well just serve us cornmeal. I mean, was that actually cornmeal, or was there a stunt here? Was this just. I don't know. Gail's dandruff. Wow. Tom didn't see that coming.
Ben
Good. Wow. Never became hydrated. What are we. Gail's pores?
Ron
Tarzan's like, it felt like the cornmeal was a bit dry. And Crunch Sandy, which is funny because I did read for the role of Crunch Sandy in the Captain Crunch biopic that's coming out later this year, but I unfortunately lost the Brendan Fraser. Still a little salty about it.
Ben
Gail's like, the connection between the fish and the fry. I just couldn't get that because they were texturally. Texturally off. I would. I need more of a connection between fish and fry. That's what I'm asking for.
Ron
Gail's favorite song is the Fish Fry connection from the Muppets. We haven't told you yet that it's. She got the lyrics wrong.
Ben
One connection. Gail doesn't need more of the connection between fry and mouths. So Vinnie and Vinnie's like, I mean, everything was great. I loved it. I had a great time. Nomad makes it. You know, it always works there. And I slowly saw the tartar starting to freeze in front of you. It was like winter at Nomad. Am I right, everybody?
Ron
Yeah. Watching that. Watching. Watching that tartar slowly freeze in front of you is like realizing your dreams of being the next Top Chef are freezing up. The moment they said, stop cooking hollandaise, I just. I just froze. Didn't know what to do.
Ben
And Kristen's like, dry ice can freeze a thin layer of raw beef in 10 seconds. Just so you know. I don't know if you've learned that in school, but that's what happened.
Ron
Charizon's like, you know, I enjoyed it. The smoke and everything. That was so cool. And I appreciated that. Your tartar tastes like tartar. Not a dessert. But oftentimes in movies, we have. We have the big action stuff, and there's nothing behind it. Man, it feels like that's what happened in this situation with my clean dish. It was like an action movie without any substance. Okay, yeah.
Ben
Tarzan's like, you know all those movies that aren't Mission Impossible, just all action and no substance. Mission Impossible is all action and no substance. That's the point, sir.
Ron
What movies has Tarzan been in that are, like, full of all the. Okay, let's see his movies. He's been a mission possible. Mission possible. Top Gun, Maverick, Tales from the Hood, Call of the Wild. Okay, so, you know all those movies with all that meaning behind it.
Ben
He's like, it's not called Call of the Wild. Tiramisu. That's really a lasagna.
Ron
Okay, it's not called the lasagna. It's called the tiramisu.
Ben
And Gail's like, this dish suffered from the need for some editing. Oh, really, Gail, Someone needs to take their own advice in the wardrobe.
Ron
Diana Vreeland told me to tell you that. So Kristen's like, cesar, are you surprised to be standing here? And he's like, yeah, my storytelling didn't do so well. I think I got spooked because I had a dream that my rutabaga ate me from under my bed.
Ben
It grew through my mattress and tied me down, and it started eating me alive. So Buddha's like, well, the tumeric custard. I mean, that was overpowering. Am I right? Spiritually, it really touched me. Was there a specific sort of flavor profile of sort of cuisine that you were looking at that you completely missed? Or if. If the idea for this was a stop and you were on the bus that passed it, do you know what went wrong there? To just tell me, should the. Should the bus have been floating above the stop? That's what I'm asking.
Ron
And what if a guy was hanging off of the bus like an actor might be in a Mission Impossible movie? That's right, Tarzan. You're getting the hang of it now.
Ben
And so sars, like, I was playing off fresh flavors and textures, but I don't know. I guess it just didn't come together.
Ron
Oh, so many get jokes about Gail to be had. I mean, really, you guys just make it so easy for me. It's almost not fun anymore.
Ben
I'm literally exhausted with this. I've been trying to pay attention to Rob Goulet covering Beyonce's powerful 18 carriages.
Ron
Unfortunately, Gail ate two of the carriages, so we're down to 16.
Ben
Gail's wreath extends to heaven.
Ron
She eats ghost carriages. It's shocking.
Ben
John Denver started crying when the carriages went missing.
Ron
She also ate his country road. Now he just goes down country grass. It's so sad for him.
Ben
So they do some private judging, and they're like, well, Lana's cornmeal was shitty, but, you know, how was the rest of the dish? And Buddha's like, well, I mean, she tried to create an illusion with the description, but there was no illusion. And Gail's like, if I ate with my eyes closed, I never would have gotten that.
Ron
Well, yeah, Gail, stop talking about how you sleep at 3am she just props her head up on that table and shuts those eyes.
Ben
Oh, and Tarzan. Tarzan's like, well, I'm telling you this. I would be upset if I spent a lot of money for that dish. Damn Tarzan. And then. But thankfully, I don't spend a lot of money on dishes because I'm an actor, and I generally get them for free or I don't eat them. And Tom's like, yeah, and then we get frozen tartare. Well, they should have served it chiseled, just like we serve accent stars. Am I right, Tom? You should see Tom's abs.
Ron
Gal's like, honestly, that actually would have been a good stunt. So Kristen's like, well, you know, when you can't actually eat a dish? I mean, what do you do with that? Well, I'm afraid that Gail has never encountered that issue before.
Ben
I'm gonna say Gail hasn't met that dish yet.
Ron
I mean, give her a rubber tire, still be bite marks in it.
Ben
Gail would literally eat the dish. Buddha's like, oh, God, it's hard to see somebody fail with dry eyes because so many of us really, really rely on that in our daily. In our daily walks of life. And Gail's like, I mean, it feels like he was sabotaged in the end by the evil genius who came in and froze everything. Oh, calm down, Gail. They're just little barbs. I wasn't talking about you. Please just stay dead.
Ron
Gail. Stop trying to get cast in Mission Impossible, okay? You're not gonna be a movie star.
Ben
So analysis. Kristen calls it overwhelmingly sweet and confused and also burnt. Don't Forget about that. Burnt.
Ron
Burnt. Everyone's like, yeah, Cesar's dish was disgusting. I wanted to vomit. Gross. And Tarzan's like, I kind of liked it. Actor.
Ben
Tom's like, well, for dessert, it's good, I guess. And gal goes, but for tartar, it's not Tarzan.
Ron
Tarzan's like, wait, it's called a tartar? I thought all this time you guys had just come up with a cool new nickname for me. I was like, hey, I'm tartar. No, it's an actual dish.
Ben
Booty's like, well, Booty Buddha's like, well, I don't see where it was going flavor wise, and I don't see where it was going stunt wise as well. I mean, where was it going? That was a lost, lost, lost tata.
Ron
Are you guys talking about me or the dish? I'm. I'm. Now I'm fully confused.
Ben
I admitted that I thought it was a theory, Sue. Okay. I admitted that. You don't have to call me long. You don't have to make that.
Ron
I know I'm an actor. I know I'm handsome. I'm not dumb. But I am a little confused every time you say Tardar. Are you talking about me? Are you shading me? It's not cool, guys. Now they have to go to the quickfires because it's like, everyone's messed up so much. And basically the track record is that Lana and Vinny did well in the quick fires, and Cesar messed up.
Ben
So ultimately, this is really saving Lana's ass, I think, because I think that that fish would have. Would have been a goner. And it's sad that it's so bad that it's even a question when they couldn't even eat Vinnies. They couldn't even eat Vinnies. And the fact that it's still a question between other people is crazy.
Ron
So that's been really bad. Yeah.
Ben
Yeah. So Vinnie was in the top for his muscle larb, so they're gonna keep him and says Tom's like, and Cesar was on the bottom. And on the bottom, that's double bottom. What are we. What are we on Bravo?
Ron
So. So basically, yeah, that's going to seal a deal. So they come out and, you know, chefs, you. You had to actually conceive this stunt that clearly pulled some people out of their comfort zone. Tarzan over here still trembling about this whole dessert situation. He's very confused. For most part, you really didn't deliver. Yeah. Neither on the story. It's done or the execution of the dish. Kristen.
Ben
So Kristen's Like, Cesar, please pack your knives and go. Cesar, you've got a chance in hell. You've got a snowball's chance in hell of getting back into this competition through Last Chance Kitchen. We'll see you there. It's. It's a great show.
Ron
I love it.
Ben
Yep, it's gonna be good.
Ron
Yep. I actually watched Last Chance Kitchen, but I will not spoil what happened, but.
Ben
Oh, I wanna know.
Ron
Okay, everyone, this is a Last Chance Kitchen spoiler. If you don't want to hear it, you can just end the episode now. And now.
Ben
Okay, we're giving you 1, 2, 3, press stop. Okay.
Ron
Okay, so here's one thing you have to know about Last Chance Kitchen is that it's a two parter. And I didn't realize it, so I just downloaded the most recent one and it was like, welcome back to part two. I was like, okay, so Katiana's been killing it, because of course she's killing it. And so this was the finale of Last Chance Kitchen because the winner of this challenge is gonna get.
Ben
I knew she was coming back. I knew. So is it.
Ron
It was a best 2 out of 3 thing. So I missed the first part. But apparently the first part, she actually lost the first challenge. So then the second challenge was you have to make a perfect bite. So they both make a bite, and Katiana won the second one, her bite. Cesar did some weird ass. He did like, a gougere that was filled with blue cheese and white chocolate. He's like.
Ben
So Tom's like, I don't even know what the.
Ron
What is this? He was like, I don't know what the fuck this is. So then it was tied, and so now Tom's like, all right, some death just make me a great dish, Grammy, maybe. Whatever you want. So he. Cesar decides to. He takes zucchini and he spirals it up and he grills it and he does like, zucchini, but with blueberries. And it's like this weird, funky thing. And then Katyana's like, I'm gonna go to a flavor profiles from when I first started cooking. So she decides to make a cauliflower soup with, like, raisins. And there's something else in it. Yeah. Which I was like, that's oddly, I think, oddly safe and also, like, not what she's really known for. And so her suit. Tom basically said, you know, Katiana, I like what you did here, but your soup is kind of under seasoned. And then with Cesar, he's like, you know, Cesar, you either. Your dishes are either really, really Good or really, really bad. And then this one, you know, it's kind of getting there. And in the end, the winner coming back to the competition, Cesar Cesar won.
Ben
I was wrong. I thought for sure Katyana was gonna be coming back.
Ron
I was shocked. I thought Katyana, like, I could not believe it, but she should not have been making a. A cauliflower seed.
Ben
She bumps it at the end, right? She. She screws it up at the end. Because I was gonna say when she made that weird tofu crumble thing, it was another thing. She's like, well, I like it. I like tofu, so I'm gonna. I was like, no. I mean, it seemed like a mistake when she was gonna. When she was doing it. And this being like, I'm gonna go back to, like, what I made, I like to make. When I first started does not sound like a good.
Ron
And Cesar's will definitely seem strange, but it actually looked very beautiful. It's just. It looked like a more elevated dish. And, like, she said that she. When she was, like, a line cook in Vegas, these were flavor profiles that she used when she first started. I'm like, I get that. That's a nice story, but, like, don't use. And cauliflower raisins. That all works. That's great. But, like, I feel like. I don't know.
Ben
I wouldn't eat a cauliflower soup in Vegas. That sounds cray cray.
Ron
That's the thing that sounds. So we're going there this weekend. I will not eat a cauliflower soup there.
Ben
Yeah, I've made cauliflower soup, but here's what delicious. A lot of garlic, a lot of onion, a lot of cream, a lot of seasoning, because the cauliflower is nothing.
Ron
You know, you actually need a lot of seasoning, like, more than you think, because otherwise it can go bland. And so I was so bummed. I thought. I thought for sure she was gonna come back. She was. She was destroying everyone in Last Chance Kitchen, but Cesar just managed to eek by. So.
Ben
Wow, that's too bad. And I like Cesar, but I love Cesar, but. I don't know. But I just thought she deserved a chance to come back. And just. I saw her coming back and then winning it like Kristen did in her season. That's got kicked off. And then she got kicked off. Oh, she back and won the whole thing. Oh, well, I guess it's not going to happen. That's too bad.
Ron
It is too bad. It's a real. It's a real shocker.
Ben
But good for him, at least he's a sweetheart, you know, and he has really cool creative stuff. But he's just also had some crazy missteps. I mean, I don't. I don't know.
Ron
I feel like I want him.
Ben
The second issue described. I would kick him off just for that.
Ron
Yeah, it's like I want him, like, I like that he likes being bold, but I also kind of want him to. To maybe just like just rein it in a little bit because he's clearly talented and he's gotten better and better over the course of the season. And, like, it's cool that he thinks outside the box, but just don't assume that every single outside the box thing works. Kind of like, stop wasting all of our time, you know, like, well, yeah.
Ben
Out of the box is okay, but it's when people are, like, trying to be wacky just to be wacky, you know, it's like Janet being like, I love Dave and Buster, like, you're just trying too hard, you know, I was.
Ron
Not expecting that comparison. But true. But true.
Ben
Yeah.
Ron
Oh, well. So that's the news.
Ben
Oh, well, that sucks. But also good for Cesar, you know? So I guess we're gonna see next. So how many episodes are left? Probably just a few, right?
Ron
I think probably like two or three. Because they said next week is the semi finals, I think. Or going into the semi. I don't know. Or it's like the battle for the semifinals. I think there's now that. Well, there's six people left, right?
Ben
There's six people left with the Top Chef. They'll be back up to seven, so.
Ron
But they'll probably do a double elimination.
Ben
So it'll be probably three weeks left, do you think?
Ron
I think it's gonna be about three. Unless they make the finale to a two parter. We'll see.
Ben
Yeah, it's usually 12 episodes, I think.
Ron
Yeah. Only because, you know, we're about to get our summer turnover. So in June, all the new shows are kicking in. You know, you got like Real Housewives of Miami. You've got Next Gen New York City, a new below deck. So top, like Top Chef is going to start, like, winding down now. And they'll probably be done by, I would say, like the first week or two week of June.
Ben
Yeah. Okay. All right, well, everybody, we'll be here no matter how long it goes.
Ron
We will.
Ben
We'll be here and tomorrow we'll be back with Love Island. Not Love Island, God damn it. We will be doing Love island in June. Speaking of. But Love Hotel and Below Dick tomorrow. So join us and we'll talk to you then. Thanks for being here.
Ron
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Title: Top Chef S22E09 Part Two: Mission Gayle-possible
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: May 12, 2025
Platform: Wondery
In episode #2838 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the thrilling second part of Season 22, Episode 9 of Top Chef, titled "Mission Gayle-possible." As avid fans of Bravo and competitive cooking shows, Ben and Ron provide their unfiltered takes, blending humor and critical analysis throughout the discussion.
The episode in focus features a high-stakes culinary challenge themed around stunts and creativity. Ben and Ron break down the various dishes presented by the competing chefs, focusing on the integration of theatrical elements with culinary expertise.
Ben and Ron offer in-depth critiques of each contestant's dish, highlighting both successes and missteps with their trademark witty banter.
Massimo's Fish in Pastry
Bailey’s Lasagna Tiramisu
Cesar's Fish Twills and Sauce Integration
Vinnie’s "Lasers" Breadsticks
Shuai’s Turducken-inspired Dish
The hosts discuss the judges' perspectives and the subsequent elimination, providing their own insights into the fairness and rationale behind the decisions.
Judging Highlights:
Elimination Outcome:
Throughout the episode, Ben and Ron share their reactions, ranging from amusement to frustration, capturing the essence of Bravo's dramatic culinary battles.
Ben and Ron wrap up the episode by reflecting on the intense competition and teasing upcoming shows they’ll cover.
Final Thoughts:
Upcoming Coverage:
The hosts hint at covering other Bravo shows like Love Island and Below Deck in forthcoming episodes, ensuring listeners stay tuned for more entertainment-centric discussions.
Episode #2838 of Watch What Crappens offers a comprehensive and entertaining breakdown of a pivotal Top Chef episode. Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam adeptly balance humor with critical analysis, making the podcast a must-listen for fans eager to stay updated on Bravo's competitive culinary scene.