#2851 Love Hotel 0104 Part Two: Ashley Has a Senior Moment

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Episode #2851: "Love Hotel 0104 Part Two: Ashley Has a Senior Moment"

Release Date: May 20, 2025

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Overview

In the latest episode of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the tumultuous affairs unfolding at the Love Hotel. This two-part saga continues to explore the intricate romantic entanglements of the cast, bringing humor, sharp wit, and candid observations to the forefront. Part Two, titled "Ashley Has a Senior Moment," focuses on Ashley's unexpected flirtations with an older gentleman, Ralph, and the ensuing drama it stirs among the other contestants.

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Episode Recap

Ben Mandelker opens Part Two by recapping the events from the previous episode, setting the stage for the evening's drama. The primary storyline revolves around Ashley's burgeoning interest in Ralph, a senior contestant, sparking tension and jealousy among the younger participants.

The episode navigates through various interactions:

• Ashley and Ralph's Connection: Ashley makes a bold move by expressing her attraction to Ralph, leading to an intense make-out session. Their chemistry raises eyebrows and threatens existing connections within the group.

• Giselle's Perspective: Giselle, who previously had feelings for Ralph, grapples with the realization that Ashley is now vying for his attention. This shift creates a rift between her and Ashley, setting up potential confrontations.

• Shannon and Adam's Dynamic: Shannon supports her friend Wale and observes the unfolding drama with a critical eye. Meanwhile, Adam attempts to navigate his feelings amidst the chaos, leading to awkward and humorous exchanges.

• Phil and Jay's Subplot: Phil contemplates the highs and lows at the Love Hotel, expressing both nostalgia and frustration, while Jay reflects on his experiences, adding depth to the show's portrayal of relationships.

• Luann and James' Interaction: Luann and James develop a quirky rapport, blending humor with subtle romantic undertones, providing levity amidst the tension.

• Earl's Emotional Moment: Earl receives a heartfelt (and somewhat cryptic) message from Shannon, leading to an emotional breakdown that underscores the personal stakes involved.

Throughout the episode, Ben and Ron provide sharp comedic commentary, highlighting the absurdities and emotional rollercoasters typical of reality TV drama.

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Key Character Interactions

Ashley and Ralph

• Ashley Initiates Flirtation:

  • [03:01] Ashley: "When I saw you pull the underwear out of your butt and pick a booger out of your nose… there's something so attractive about a man who's willing to wait for what he wants."

• Intense Make-Out Session:

  • [10:48] Ron: "Jesus Christ. I feel so bad for Butthead watching this show because she's still dating Butthead in real life."
  • [40:46] Pink Ralph: Engages in a passionate yet awkward make-out session with Ashley, blending humor with cringe-worthy moments.

Giselle's Struggle

• Conflict with Ashley:

  • [14:42] Giselle: "I was in my femininity for sure. But like, yeah, I'm really into Ralph."
  • [22:03] Giselle: "I'm just a hard nut to crack."

• Confrontation Tease:

  • [13:42] Ben: "She gave Giselle the biggest gift of all, a future scene where Giselle can confront Ralph…"

Shannon and Adam

• Supportive Dynamics:
  • [35:38] Ashley: "He's like, yes, Earl, that is a food pyramid."
  • [38:00] Ben: Adam and Shannon navigate their feelings amidst the Love Hotel chaos, leading to cheeky and awkward dialogues.

Phil and Jay

• Contemplating Relationships:
  • [12:22] Jay: "I've seen a lot of highs and a lot of lows at the love hotel over the last couple of days."
  • [13:11] Ashley: "Here's what I choose. The other side of the hill."

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Notable Quotes

• On Ashley’s Bold Move:

  • [02:23] Ron: "So they go downstairs and Ashley pulls Ralph aside…"

• Giselle's Realization:

  • [14:27] Ron: "She's like, oh, my God. He grabbed me from the first embrace…"

• Ralph’s Emotional Turmoil:

  • [26:01] Giselle: "Have you never seen Love Island?"
  • [43:20] Giselle: "Like, Earl, I really like you. I don't see a future with you, but I want to help you."

• Humorous Host Commentary:

  • [25:07] Ron: "He’s like, why'd you make out with that dude the same day? Fuck off, Wally Wale."
  • [39:24] Ben: "Earl is crying and shaking. I mean, what the hell does that letter say?"

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Character Developments

• Ashley’s Evolution: Transitioning from maintaining stable relationships to actively seeking excitement with Ralph, showcasing her willingness to take risks for personal connections.

• Giselle’s Growth: Moving from admiration of Ralph to confronting the complexities of her feelings and jealousy, highlighting her emotional depth.

• Earl’s Vulnerability: Unveiling a softer side as he grapples with rejection, adding layers to his character beyond the initial macho persona.

• Adam’s Awkward Attempts: His sincere but clumsy efforts to connect with Shannon and Luann add a comedic yet relatable element to his character arc.

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Conclusion and Teasers

As the episode wraps up, tensions among the contestants reach a boiling point, particularly between Giselle and Ashley. With Ralph’s indecisiveness and the emotional fallout from Shannon’s rejection of Earl, viewers are left anticipating the next elimination and how these relationships will evolve. Ben and Ron hint at upcoming episodes featuring exclusive interviews and bonus content available through their Patreon, promising more laughs and insightful commentary on the ongoing Love Hotel drama.

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Final Thoughts

Episode #2851 of Watch What Crappens masterfully blends humor with the dramatic flair of reality TV, offering listeners an entertaining and insightful look into the chaotic world of the Love Hotel. Through sharp host commentary and engaging storylines, the episode captures the essence of romantic entanglements, personal growth, and the comedic pitfalls that come with living in the public eye.

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Interested in more exclusive content? Support Watch What Crappens on Patreon for bonus episodes, video recaps, and access to the exclusive Discord server.

Transcript

[Ben]

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[Ron]

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[Ben]

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[Ron]

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[Ben]

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[Ron]

It just makes sense. Visit Amazon.comprime to get more out of whatever you're into.

[Misha Brown]

Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and ill Media, I'm Misha Brown and this is the Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails and blunders of all time. Like quibbing.

[Ron]

It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to like get other people to do it.

[Misha Brown]

And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats.

[Ben]

Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie.

[Misha Brown]

Find out what happens when massive hype turns major fiasco. Enjoy the Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the Big Flop early and ad free on Wondery plus get started with your free [e-mail] plus.

[Ben]

Hi everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode.

[Ron]

So they go downstairs and Ashley pulls Ralph aside and because, you know, last night was the night, she's like, I.

[Ashley]

Like you too, Ralph.

[Ron]

So he's like, you're a beautiful woman. And I discounted the fact that there would be any connection whatsoever. I mean, you're young, you're gorgeous. I'm old, I'm exhausted.

[Ashley]

Like, I know that's what I'm into. You know, I just found you so Alluring since the first day I saw you pull the underwear out of your butt and then kind of pick a booger out of your nose and turn it into a little ball and blow on it until it became flickable. And there's just something so attractive about a man who's willing to wait for. For what he wants.

[Giselle]

You know, nothing was more alluring to me than seeing you in that oversized polo that almost eclipsed your shorts. And I thought, this man is a.

[Ron]

Sexy man, but you're a beautiful woman, and I. I just can't believe it.

[Ashley]

She goes, but I meant what you said last night. I find you really, really old. Attractive. Attractive. Yeah.

[Giselle]

I have to say, you do kind of remind me of those trolls from the movie Frozen. But when I did see the movie Frozen, I got really turned on by those trolls, so that works for me.

[Ron]

So she has a connection with Wale, but is it worth it to shoot her shot with somebody and let that jeopardize what she knows is a good thing going on with Wale? And Ralph's like, shit, if I never knew her and I were a possibility. I kind of need to understand things to see if there's a fit.

[Ashley]

Geez.

[Ron]

Normally I walk into a Sunglasses Hot, and the clerk Sunglasses Hut, and the clerk's there just, you know, asked me to leave. Grandpa say not to touch anything or follow me around the store, but it's a young person who likes me.

[Ashley]

It's a young person that likes me.

[Ben]

Yeah. I feel like Ralph is not getting enough of an old fuckboy edit, because just the last episode, he sat down, Giselle, and he was like, I only want to focus on you. I like you the most. You're the one who, like, I care about the most. And the moment that the hot younger girl says, like, hey, I kind of think you're. You're cool. He's like, giselle who?

[Ron]

Well, have you ever met a man before? This is like in the man DNA. It's like, wow, a younger option. A younger model just walked in. I didn't even have to be married to you for 20 years before I dumped you for a younger option. It's literally day two. Time is sure moving quickly.

[Ben]

Yeah. So. So basically she's like, I'm into you. So Shannon and Adam sit down, and he's like, so how are you feeling?

[Giselle]

She's like, well, last night was a lot for Ralph, and he's. He's super emotional, and I just don't know what to say about it. Just kidding. Eat some kale. Kale lettuce, spinach.

[Ron]

So Ralph is going to pursue this, and Ashley's going to pursue this, and she's like, you know, I just.

[Ashley]

Giselle's one of my girls, but I want to see where your interest lies.

[Ron]

Dawn. Dawn. Dawn. So then, let's see. Ashley. Is this where they make out?

[Ben]

Well, not quite yet. So Ashley's still talking. She's still talking a little bit more to him. And she's like, you know, you only.

[Giselle]

Have a little bit of time. And he's like, I understand that. She's like, and I didn't think you were romantically interested in me.

[Ben]

He's like, I mean, come on, honey. Look at.

[Ron]

Look.

[Ben]

I mean, everybody has a pulse will be interested in you, toots. I mean, you got a rack, you got cheekbones, you got skin as tight as a drum. You know, hello, I'm putting my penis in you as soon as I can, baby.

[Ron]

He doesn't even lie. He's just like, you're gorgeous. You're bubbly. Dot, dot, dot. I know nothing else about you, but.

[Ben]

I know you're hot. Yeah, I know that we got a beach over there, but have you ever thought about motorboating on land?

[Ron]

So Shannon is seeing all of this, and she's sitting with Wale, and she's rooting for Wale. So she's like, Are you choking?

[Ashley]

No, I'm just trying to get out of sentence. Just be quiet. So, okay, well, what is the whole Ashley Ralph thing? What are they. What are they doing together?

[Ben]

And he's like, I don't know. I really don't know. And he tells. He's now like. I think this is when he's in the confession. He's, like, lying on. On his back, and he's like. I mean, she likes to test you. She likes to see if she. If you can handle some of the antics. This is so strange. He's basically like. I think that he's like, I'm the hottest one in my neighborhood, and I've come onto the show, and somehow I'm just, like, an option. I don't get this at all.

[Ron]

Well, you know, it's. You've dated someone, I'm sure. Okay, look, I won't say yes, but I won't speak for other people, but I've dated someone who I'm like, oh, my God, this person is so hot. Like, this person is way too hot for me. And then maybe they'll show me a picture of somebody they've dated before me. And I'm like, oh, that person's gross too. And then there's a part of me that's just like. So are they just like into, like, am I gross? Like, are they just into gross guys? And I fit within that, like bound, you know, it shouldn't be like that, but it is. You're like, oh, wait a minute. If they're attracted to that person and me, does that make me gross? Like, that person? Like, am I grosser than I thought? You know, it can send a spurt person into a spiral. So I think Wale is just like, she's into 60 or like, how is this computing for me? Like, if she's. Yeah, like some 60 year old kind of rundown. Because listen, it's not an ageist thing, but Ralph looks like he's a big guy. He just looks exhausted. His eyes are half closed like Garfield the whole time. I can't even believe he's staying awake for shooting. He looks exhausting.

[Ben]

I know, it's like, how am I in the same league? But the problem is that, well, Wale's personality is like, it's not fun. He's not a fun guy. It's like trying to be fun by smiling a lot. But he's like, he is really serious.

[Ron]

And Wale will text you, like, he'll know when you're on the way home from work and be like, are you on the way home from work? I hope you're on the way home from work. That's where you should be. Are you hanging out after work? Like, he seems like he's maybe too possessive or something.

[Ben]

Exactly. And like the hottest guy. It's, it's always shocking how like an incredibly hot person, guy or girl, can like lose all of their, like, looks the moment like their bad personality comes out. It's actually, it's kind of amazing. I always find it to be very liberating.

[Ron]

Well, there's a hot people fragility, right? Because I feel like when you're really cute, you're used to getting whatever you want because everybody wants to date you. You know, you have like the pick and then people are like all over themselves with falling all over themselves, like.

[Ashley]

Oh my God, he's so cute.

[Ron]

So when you meet somebody that's like me, it's like, what do you mean I'm hot? I don't. You can't treat me like this.

[Ashley]

I have hot privilege.

[Ben]

Yeah, it's great actually. So then Adam, so, so Ralph and Ashley are talking and then Adam just like comes over and like, he's like, hey. He's like, what's up? What's up, Ralphie? So Ash is like. She's like, okay, I gotta go. And she really. She really wants to kiss Ralph, but she's not going to. And he kisses her hand and, like, it's like, really intense. So she. She walks away. And then when she walks away, she's thinking, like, should I go for it? Should I go for it? She has this whole monologue of, like.

[Giselle]

You know, Ralph is the temptation. I'm, like, trying to resist that temptation, but I just can't. I don't want to upset or offend Zell, and I do feel a strong connection with Wiley. But the thing is that Ralph. Ralph is something else. He's someone I could fe. You know, frozen peas, too, and peach cups, and that's exciting for me.

[Ashley]

Michael and I broke up before. The chance that I got to mash up bananas and change his bedpan. I could have that with Ralph.

[Ben]

So she goes back over there, and.

[Giselle]

She'S like, adam, could you excuse me a little bit? I think the plant over there wants to know about telehealth. Okay, great.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Giselle]

Hi. You know, we talked about there isn't a lot of time, how we're here at the love hotel and we have to seize the moments. Do you want to seize the moment? Or my boobs or something? Seize me.

[Ron]

So they make out and then Ralph does this. A kiss moaner. No, get the fuck out of here, Ralph. But she likes it.

[Ashley]

She's like, oh, my God. He grabbed me from the first embrace. He started growling in my ear. Oh, my God. Growling. That's what I've been looking for. He smelled like fixodent. Oh, my God. Something that just triggers in me.

[Ron]

Jesus Christ. I feel so bad for Butthead watching this show because, you know, she's still dating Butthead in real life.

[Ben]

Yeah. They were just seen together shooting for the new season of Potomac. Right?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Sorry, Butthead. So then, what's his name? Whatever his name is.

[Giselle]

So she's like, this is what I've been looking for.

[Ben]

So now it's the next morning, and people are working out, and Ralph's all. He's still horned up, et cetera. And Ashley is sitting with Gisele in the confessional.

[Giselle]

She's like, so, Giselle, last night I.

[Ben]

Kissed Ralph, and she just cracks up.

[Ashley]

I kissed a senior and I liked it.

[Ron]

And she's like.

[Ashley]

I said, you know what? Tomorrow is not promised.

[Ron]

Especially not for Ralph.

[Ben]

Definitely not. You know, there could have been an earthquake and everybody could have died. And so, yes, tomorrow Is definitely not promised. How was the kiss? Did his dentures get stuck on you with the fix?

[Ron]

It's like, you better hope so, because that man's pushing 80.

[Ben]

Not a lot of chicks left in that clock car.

[Ron]

The cuckoo is too tired to come out of the clock anymore. Ashley, we're winding down.

[Ben]

So Giselle is. Giselle is pretty chill about this, mainly because she just found out that Phil has a Rolls Royce. So she's like, whatever, Take the sound technician. I've got Phil.

[Ron]

So now Adam and James are in the lounge chatting, and they're talking about how there's going to be friction now between Ralph and Wale D. And Adam's.

[Ashley]

Like, yeah, you know, I saw Ashley make out with Ralph last night. I saw with my own eyes. And I said, guess what?

[Giselle]

I love my line. Fully kissing. Wow.

[Ben]

So now Jay and Phil and Jason are sitting at the edge of the pool. I was like, wait, Jay, Phil and Jason? Oh, that's right. Oh, poor Jay. He's. He's gonna be gone soon. Jay's like, I've seen a lot of highs and a lot of lows at the love hotel over the last couple of days.

[Giselle]

And Phil's like, I can attest to that. It's like when you come down from Bellair, you go. You leave the highs of Belair and go to the lows of Brentwood, that disgusting neighborhood full of upper middle class people.

[Ashley]

Here's what I choose. The other side of the hill.

[Ben]

So Ashley is trying to. She's like. She's like, trying to figure out how to navigate, you know, with this whole situation and doesn't want to break girl code. Listen, she gave Giselle the biggest gift of all, which is that a future scene where Giselle can confront Ralph and say, so, Ralph, you said I was the only one you cared about. Now you're going for Ashley. She's so ready to carve him up. It didn't happen this episode, but I feel like it's coming next episode.

[Ron]

Yeah, Giselle's not chill. I mean, I love that they show Giselle just being so chill. No, no, she's saving this. She is gonna miss.

[Ben]

She will destroy him.

[Ron]

Luann's like, first I got shot down.

[Luann]

By Ralph, of all people.

[Ron]

Wow.

[Luann]

Got shot down from the piano playing dog from the Muppets.

[Ben]

Where's his baby arm, if you know what I'm talking about? So then, yeah, we saw. We see how Ralph shot down all these people. Luann's like, ralph is the new Harry Dubin taking a turn with all the girls. Am I right? So then we see if we see the Harry Dubin footage and Kristen Takeman from Girls Trip, like, narrating all the. All his conquests, et cetera.

[Ron]

Yeah. And now we're back to present.

[Luann]

Well, you know, he is much better looking than Harry Dubin. Sorry, Harry.

[Ron]

So now Giselle and Ashley are on a couch in the room, and Giselle's like, let's talk about Ralph. You really like Ralph? Or was was this. I was drinking. The breeze was blowing, your hair was looking good. You were looking sexy. What was going on?

[Giselle]

I was in my femininity for sure. But like, yeah, I'm really into Ralph. Although now that I hear that Harry Dubin is like Ralph, but like less good looking kind of into Harry Dubin.

[Ashley]

I just heard about a more disgusting version of Ralph. Do you have his number?

[Luann]

So.

[Ron]

So Giselle doesn't care. She's like, no, shocker. She loves an old man. And then we see side by side with Micha Barbie. Michael's just like, where is the ring?

[Ashley]

Where is the ring?

[Ben]

And they just choose such a bad shot, though. They could have done. They could have done better with that, though. They definitely should have gotten the shot of him laughing like a maniac at that, like, party. Like, the. One of the last shots we ever saw. Michael being like, with Juan Dixon. So Ash is like, yeah, I wasn't.

[Giselle]

Even really checking for Ralph.

[Ben]

Yes, and you had trust Ralph. You said Ralph has little lips, probably can't kiss. Remember this before you stole him away from me. By the way, I'm totally chill about it. Totally chill.

[Ron]

I won't even care about this when I pass you in my rr. That sounds for Rolls Roisa.

[Ben]

So she's basically like, no. Being emotional isn't really my thing. Virgos don't operate that way. We keep things close to the vest. I'm basically a borderline dude. I don't know.

[Ron]

Yeah, so she says, I never even looked at. At Ralph. Like, I want to stick my tongue down your throat. That's not even fair to Ralph. He deserves that. Ralph deserves a looser woman. Ashley, I'm glad he found you.

[Ben]

A looser woman with a low standard. So then there's like a knock on the door and just. Ralph. Oh, it's Ralph. This is weird.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Ralph enters in and so he comes in and he's like. He's like, guys. He sits down between the two of them. He's like. I mean, I'm confused. I mean, you guys have crashed my system. This is wild. I Mean, I express interest in you, Giselle, you may remember. And I don't think I got a whole lot back, so this is kind of your fault. I'm just going to say that. And then all of a sudden, last night happens. Big tits, young. Big tits comes at me and I'm like, giselle, who am I Right? Again, your fault. So, yeah, I'm. I'm crazy right now.

[Ron]

Yeah. And I like when he goes, you know, I gave you a lot of attention. I didn't seem to get any back. And she goes, yes. Yeah, you like, do you blame me? So she's like, she wants to explore things in the love hotel. Here's. And then he's like, sitting there talking to both of them about his feelings, which is so odd to see. I guess that's like an older generation thing. You just get older and you're like, okay with sharing your emotions. I kind of like the Giselle style. I mean, I guess I'm a Virgo too, so that's more me. But I'm like, hi, I don't need you to come over and talk about your feelings.

[Ashley]

Okay.

[Ron]

Keep those to yourself.

[Ben]

But also, by the way, the reason why she didn't give a lot back is because she doesn't want to deal with. She doesn't want to get hurt. She doesn't want to give something back, knowing that the moment a hotter, younger thing comes by, you're gonna just completely go over there. Right.

[Ron]

It's like a test thing. After what she's already been through with her husband and everybody else is kind of like, okay, let's see how you react against Ashley.

[Ben]

Yeah, you want to marry me?

[Ron]

Ashley's running a lemonade stand in a bikini. You lose, you know, like, immediately. So, you know, he fell into the. He fell into exactly what she probably suspected. I think you're correct on that one.

[Ashley]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

[James]

Every successful business starts with an idea. And on the best idea yet, we're obsessed with those light bulb moments. Like how a bored barista invented the frappuccino during his downtime and then it got acquired by Starbucks. Or how Patagonia's iconic fleece was inspired by a toilet seat cover. On the best idea yet, we dive into the untold origin stories behind the products you're obsessed with. And the bold risk takers made them go viral. These are the wild ideas and insights that made Birkenstock the best selling sandals since Jesus and made Super Mario the most played video game in the history of attention span. Yeah, Nintendo almost became a ramen company until Super Mario saved it. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor.

[Misha Brown]

Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and ill media, I'm Misha Brown and this is the Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails and blunders of all time. Like quibbing.

[Ron]

It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to like get other people to do it.

[Misha Brown]

And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats.

[Ben]

Like if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie.

[Misha Brown]

Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy the Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the Big Flop early and ad free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at.

[Phil]

Wondery.Com/@24 I lost my narrative. Or rather it was stolen from me, and the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define Reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to, and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Ron]

So Giselle's telling, oh, we should explore things in love. Hold that lie. I would just like to see if Ralph is going to need a stick stint after one hour with Ashley.

[Ben]

Yeah, exactly. So Ralph's like, well, I talked. I told Wallet. We talked. Which is funny because it's also like in love. Love Island Rules would be that Ashley would Be the one to tell Wale. So the fact that she didn't tell Wale and that he went up like, that's also kind of shady. And it's also a little bit of a power play on Ralph's end, I have to add. And Wale is like, well, I'm not surprised. Like, well, okay, whatever. He goes, well, I don't know how. Back to present Ralph is like, I don't know how he's processing. I know he's into you, but however it plays out, it plays out. All I know is he's age appropriate. I'm old and saggy. So I think we know who wins this one, right?

[Giselle]

Yep. Sure do.

[Ron]

Good morning, everybody. Tomorrow's another elimination. Blahdy, blahdy, blah. Let's see how it shakes out. Bye, everybody.

[Giselle]

Oh, well, I was hoping that the waiter was going to bring over some green juice, but that's fine. He can just leave.

[Ashley]

I've had a lot of conversations with men. One thing I have not tasted yet is artichoke chip. Just putting that out there. This is episode four, and by the.

[Giselle]

Way, Earl, artichoke chip does not count as a vegetable.

[Ron]

But mayonnaise does, right?

[Giselle]

Wait, there's mayonnaise in this? So I always thought that was artichoke pulp ground to a cream.

[Ron]

So she talks with Earl. Earl's like, you want to take a walk?

[Ashley]

And she goes, well, I was. I was. I was just gonna go. Adam has a telehealth thing in Kalamazoo. I was gonna go talk with him about the Kalamazoonians and their health needs. So. I'm sorry. Yellow fever online, too. We're join business now. Sorry. Sorry, Earl.

[Giselle]

Yeah, we. We have to go on a walk. So, unfortunately, I'll be washing my hair afterwards, so Bye.

[Ben]

He's like, okay. He's telling us. I don't know how to take that, except to breathe in and breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Oh, God. Well, hopefully someday that guy will come and get that motorcycle out of my garage. I'll just focus on that. So then.

[Ron]

So Adam and Shannon go on their walk, and Adam's like, at some point, he's gonna get the message, right? Just.

[Ashley]

I just. I just. I. I don't want to be mean. I don't want to be mean.

[Ron]

He's like, well, we've all been in situations where someone's more into us than we're into them. Adam, stop being so confident. You're a fucking prop, sir.

[Giselle]

Okay?

[Ron]

You're a prop.

[Giselle]

Well, we have been in that situation.

[Ashley]

Or.

[Giselle]

Or Even more sometimes. Some of us have been in situation where you're more into them than they are into you. That has happened to me once or twice in the past few years, which is very fun. Oh, goodness.

[Ashley]

So then I love a man who's confident with him with himself. And Adam is so secure. I'd love a man who can walk down a beach and just see a sunset and see a blonde sled on the beach and leave me alone with my. Fuck this person. Fuck this person.

[Giselle]

You know what I like about Adam? He cares about telehealth in Rooney Mara's house and he likes to wear a scarf. And that is confident. I am very attracted to this man.

[Ben]

Who is not Earl.

[Ron]

So Ashley and Wale talk and she's.

[Ashley]

Like, yeah, I mean, I had a good night. I got a good gym workout. Okay, well, first of all, I would like to say that the events that transpired last night with Ralph were not premeditated by me.

[Ron]

Okay, why are you already. Why are you writing a lawyer? Why are you talking in Lawyers Week? Did you go to Legal Zoom before you had this conversation with Wale?

[Ben]

I know. And he's like. He's like, again, girl, you got no look. You gotta look, you gotta do the hair over. Like, if you're gonna make out with him, like, you gotta shower first. You gotta do the hair over. She's.

[Giselle]

No, I didn't plan for it. This is like, not typically how I conduct myself.

[Ben]

He's like, I mean, sharing a kiss the same night probably, like, that's probably been better. That probably would have been better served if you did it the next day.

[Ashley]

I'm like, the way that I conducted myself in the premeditation of it did not. Did not indicate that I should. I'm sorry, I forgot what I was talking about.

[Ron]

He's like, why'd you make out with that dude the same day? Fuck off, Wally Wale. She can make out with whoever she wants whenever she wants. That's.

[Ben]

That's exactly correct.

[Giselle]

And she's like, well, I did not lick your face for five hours.

[Ben]

He's like, I mean, we spent five hours making out.

[Giselle]

She's like, no, we did not spend five hours.

[Ben]

He's like, well, we were making out. I don't care. She's allowed to go on and kiss the next person right away again.

[Giselle]

Have you never seen Love Island?

[Ben]

Sometimes it's three or four people in one night. That's just the way it works. Okay, Yeah.

[Ron]

I want to see if it was after. Like, if he was after and she hadn't told him something. Like, you could have told me you were making out with some old dude before I made out with you. Because now I've basically made out with the old dude, you know? But.

[Ben]

Yeah, exactly. But also, it was like the sun was down. It was a different stage of the day. I feel like it totally counts. That's like lunch, complaining that you had breakfast.

[Giselle]

Okay.

[Ben]

It's like, different times. I think it counts. So it's okay. And so now he. This is where he's lying on the sofa and he's like, decorum. Decorum is the word I need emphasize in this place. Not my feelings, but decorum. How about you About Gabayam? Okay, you're gone.

[Ron]

Goodbye. I'm sir. And he's like, you can't go on a date with Wale and wear the same clothes and then go kiss Ralph. Like, you didn't even brush your teeth.

[Ashley]

And you're swapping saliva.

[Ron]

Decorum, people.

[Ben]

Yeah, but if she did that, you'd be like, I can't believe you brushed my kiss out of your mouth. Like, I want that kiss to stay in there. So, like, he would never have been happy, no matter what.

[Ron]

Yeah. And why are you acting so classy when you're trying to date people from the back page of a backstage casting ad? Get the out.

[Ben]

Exactly. Exactly. So Shannon and Adam sit by the bar, and this is where he has now put on a scarf, which I'm just like. I was mortified about this decision for him. And he's like, wow, tomorrow I could be going home. There's an elimination.

[Ron]

You could.

[Giselle]

You could be going home, but luckily you eat vegetables, which is very important to me.

[Ashley]

At least your home won't be in the ground soon, like Earl's.

[Ron]

So everyone's just having, like, a nice little time, you know, Jay's talking to Giselle, and he's like, oh, I thought of the thought. I've talked about you from. I've talked about you with all the other guys. And the basic thinking is, no one's breaking Giselle. And she's like, that is not true. I'm just a hard nut to crack. Which I guess means that that is true. No one's breaking me.

[Ben]

Yeah. There was no way Giselle was ever going to give herself over to any sort of romance on the show ever. Yeah, they put. They brought her on so that way she would just make crack jokes in the corner, and that's exactly what she's been doing. Then we see Luann and go up to Shannon, Adam and she goes, well, how's it going with you two? Hi, I'm Luann. What's your name? He's like, adam. We've met before. Oh, good, Adam. Well, James is all over me like white rice. Don't you mean white on rice? No, he's been throwing white rice at me all day, and I love it.

[Luann]

James is all over me like white rice on Earl.

[Ben]

Cuts Earl on a bed like American Beauty with rice all over him.

[Ron]

Vegetables over here. So Wale talks to Jason, and he's like, okay, well, let me tell you, as the main person in the Ashley universe, you're not out of it yet. And Jason's like, you're right.

[Ashley]

At this point, I'm gonna. I'm going to bat. I'm gonna see how far I can hit it. And if it goes over the fence, cool. If it doesn't, I've still got two girlfriends.

[Ben]

Yeah, exactly. Unfortunately, Ashley's just looking for someone who can do a bunt. Just somewhat. A slow runner with a. Who can do a bunt. So Luann and James are looking at the sky, and, well, James, isn't this beautiful? A sky. A cabaret star.

[Luann]

Wow.

[Ben]

You could put me up there. I could be part of a constellation because I. Cabaret star stars, guys. See, I'm going there.

[Giselle]

He's like, yeah.

[Ben]

Oh, wow. Look up there. Some more stars. Oh, you're beautiful.

[Luann]

Oh, really?

[Ben]

Throw some rice at my face, James. Let's make out.

[Ashley]

I got another story about my dad.

[Luann]

Hey, James, I'm gonna tell you what Stevie Nicks once told me after a show.

[Ron]

Shh.

[Ben]

You know, a wise woman once said something, and I want you to follow her lead. She said, risaroni. The San Francisco treat. Let's make it the capo treat.

[Luann]

Her name was Liza Minnelli. All right, thanks for coming.

[Ron]

So Giselle and Phil are sitting together, and she's like, so, are you looking to get married? Possibly to your son? And he's like, it's something I've never.

[Ashley]

Done, but I would do if my partner would get married, as long as.

[Ron]

We could get married.

[Ben]

And.

[Luann]

So.

[Ben]

But otherwise, you don't need to, Right? So we're on an accord. We're on a cord here. I don't go near those cars. No, no, didn't mean that.

[Ron]

Sorry.

[Ashley]

My RR eats Accord for breakfast, baby.

[Ben]

So now Adam.

[Ron]

Yeah, sorry.

[Ben]

Adam's talking to Luann now. Because this is the part, by the way, what I talked about earlier, how we see snippets of conversation. So this is part of it. So Adam's talking to Luan, and he's like, well, I've been to some of the most spiritual places on Earth. I've sat under the Bodhi Tree. Oh, the Bodhi tree. I played there, sang some great songs there. They love me at Bodhi Tree. Have you ever been to Marrakesh? He's like, I have. Oh, yeah, Marrakesh is great. They. They've got some great sand there. I don't know. I've never actually been. I just like to talk about it.

[Luann]

You can hear prayers there, people praying. They sing when they pray. And I say, find your key. All right? Find your key.

[Ron]

He's like, istanbul. You ever been to Istanbul?

[Luann]

Oh, beautiful. Beautiful. Istanb. Istanbul. Istanbul. Don't give me no bull. It's Istanbul. Constantinople. And Istanbul was Tallahassee, and, I don't know, line.

[Ben]

Where is Istanbul, anyway? Florida. So they hug. She's like, well, it's always great to meet a fan in these places. How great. Evening, sir. So Ashley and Ralph are walking off together, and she's like.

[Giselle]

Like, it's hard because I want to be with my kids all the time on the kitchen island.

[Ben]

He's like, yeah, I want to be with my kids all the time, too. Except they're, like, 25 and 30. So, anyway, we're gonna make out or what? I know.

[Ron]

I was thinking that, too. Like, yeah, I want to be with my kids all the time, too. I do not want to be with your kids. You've got two very young kids, so.

[Ben]

No, thanks.

[Ron]

So Jason's. Jason's with Ashley, and he's interrupting. He's interrupting a conversation. He's like, I don't want to be.

[Ashley]

That guy, you know, interrupting stuff. And she's like, well, okay. Well, then don't. Okay, but I'm interrupting.

[Ron]

Okay, okay.

[Giselle]

Don't worry. Don't worry, Ralph. We can still make out. Jason's used to this kind of vibe.

[Ben]

So then just Giselle and Phil are walking in the hallway. Just like. Phil's like, well, you know what happens when I hug you. I don't want to let go.

[Giselle]

It's how we do it in Bel Air. Hugs for eternity. Me.

[Ron]

It's like, you have to let go of me. Thank you. Stop touching me. Now back. Back. A step away. Now another one. Now sit down. You're doing very well, Phil. Now say, Bel Air. All right, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodbye.

[Ben]

The producer. The producer asked herself, they've kissed yet? And she goes, well, the spirit hasn't moved me to kiss Phil yet, but I Did notice that he tried to bite into my neck at one or two points, and I thought that was a little weird. Said something about, he needs the juice.

[Ron]

Well, what would the spirit have to do to move you to kiss him? Well, the spirit would have to sing Carol Channing, pop out his dentures and force my face in there. That's what would have to happen.

[Ben]

She's in it for the rr. She's like, I'm not. I don't want to kiss this man. I just want to have his money. Let me. Let me live the life of luxury at long last.

[Ron]

Yeah. So then Adam and Luann are walking Shannon. Luann are going to their rooms, and Adam joins them, and he's like, can.

[Ashley]

I walk with you too? Because you guys are amazing life lovers. Little life lovers. You know, the things I love about you, the things I love about her.

[Ron]

Oh, no, this is Adam. Sorry, I was. James, he's like, can I walk between you guys? You're so amazing, you know? You know, Shannon, the things I love about you and the things I love about Luann here, if I could just put you into one person, you'd be the perfect woman. Okay, Adam, get the fuck out of you, bro. Why would you say that? Who says that to somebody like, God, I wish you were just half somebody else. You know, I.

[Ben]

You're almost perfect. I just wish you had some more qualities like Luann. And, Luann, you're almost really great. I just wish you were more like Shannon. Like, why would you ever say that?

[Ashley]

What an idiot.

[Ben]

Luanne's like, so you want to have a menage a trois? In other words, that was French. I used to live there. Be married to France. Yeah. And she's. Luann's. Immediately like, okay, well, I'm gonna move over there to James. Baby arms. So then James and Earl go to sleep, like, well, I guess Arlo Pearl's gonna have to call up. Call. Go to bed early tonight. Not a lot of people fishing for pearls. That's too bad. And Shannon, Adam, she's like, well, welcome to my room.

[Giselle]

I have everywhere. I apologize. We'll. Let me just put a pillow in front of that Tostitos bag. It's a little embarrassing.

[Ashley]

Oh, how weird that the hotel has started using pot tarts for pillows.

[Giselle]

I don't know how those got there. They must have. That concierge must have left them there for me when you put in those towels that time. That was strange.

[Ashley]

The one day you give me service.

[Ron]

So Luann and James are holding hands as they walk to her room.

[Luann]

And she's like, I'm gonna show you my room.

[Ashley]

He's like, what are we gonna do up there?

[Luann]

Well, don't count your chicken before it hatches on rice. Now, that's a very famous saying, but, you know, because you're old enough to know that one.

[Giselle]

Eh?

[Luann]

Saggy balls.

[Ben]

Sure am. Oh, yeah, that's hot.

[Luann]

Throw more rice at me.

[Ben]

So then Luann is now talking with James, and she's like, well, James, congratulations. You made it into my bedroom. The inner quarters of the Countess. Which means you get to see my seduction show, America. Watch how a pro does it. Sit on that couch. I'm giving you a hat show.

[Luann]

You ready?

[Ben]

Now this is a hat hat. Are you turned on yet? By my fedora?

[Luann]

How are you talking about? Get it. I thought one of the show. Billy.

[Ron]

He's like, ah, is there anything.

[Ashley]

It'll look sexy in my bus.

[Luann]

Yeah, some would say.

[Ben]

I don't like a wrap dress. I'll give you that much. Don't feel very sexy in that. Barbara kind of stole that from me.

[Ron]

So back to Adam and Shannon. He's like, it's really nice having privacy, kind of. She's.

[Ashley]

Well, I've never sat out here once. It's just so airy and outdoors and so many germs out here coming from the other floors. I just. You never know who's above you or below you or on the sides of you. This is pretty disgusting. So you. Would you like to wipe a booger down my face or something? Is this supposed to be woman?

[Giselle]

Thank you for bringing me into this veritable arena of allergens. I'm loving it out here. So she's like, no, I'm waiting to see if Adam will kiss me to see if we have chemistry.

[Ben]

And so they're just sitting out there, and he's, like, holding her arm, and they're sitting side by side, and he's just staring at his knees, and she's staring at her knees, and she's like, oh, wow.

[Giselle]

Well, I. Hey, Adam, have you ever wondered what would happen if we. We both started to say the letter O and then looked at each other and pressed our faces against each other? Would we form the letter? Let's try it.

[Ron]

And he's like, well, I'll walk you to the door. He's like, oh, things with Shannon are really evolving nicely. I could really see her in Cameroon. I'll see myself out. She goes, okay, well, she's doing that thing where she's holding her head sideways, like, trying to Hide her face with her hair.

[Ashley]

She's like, oh, yeah, okay. I'm just a girl standing here in a bookshop trying not to be a movie star.

[Giselle]

I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to get her some Claritin after that balcony experience.

[Ben]

So they hug, and then she kind of, like, kisses his cheek. Kind of like, okay, well, if you.

[Giselle]

Won'T get the ball rolling, I'll start. I'll give you a little cheek kiss, and you can go for the lips. No. Okay, but that's. That's fine, too. I can just. I can remain unkissed. Thank you so much.

[Ron]

Yeah. So then the next day. Dun, dun, dun. Oh. So Shannon is like, well, I didn't get a kiss.

[Ashley]

Maybe it's time to move on from both Adam and Earl.

[Ben]

She's like, I guess I'm not enough. I guess you need some Luann in me too, apparently. So the next day, Adam. It's the next day. Sorry. James is sitting out at a table, and he's playing guitar. Because, of course this guy's playing guitar. You know, when he first came onto the show, you know, he's a handsome guy, and he was, like, wearing this blazer. I thought he was gonna be kind of like a. Like a Don Draper. Silent, mysterious type businessman. And he's just total wackadoodle. And now he's got a guitar, and he's like, hey, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, a backing band. Finally, a musician around here. Okay.

[Luann]

Love hotel. Love hotel. Love hotel. The hotel of rice.

[Ron]

It is based. It is the most basic you've ever heard. He's like, love hotel. Love hotel, Love hotel. Thank you. Do that ever. That's baby arm. I was playing that with my dick.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Ron]

It was so cringy. Oh, it was so hard. It's hard to watch because, you know, look, there's nothing wrong with playing the guitar, but if you're that guy who's in the middle of, like, a party, say, you know, they're always that guy. He's like, hey, I brought my guitar. I know. G, E and A. Let's see what we can get. And they just play their shitty three chords badly over and over again. Go home. Just go home or I'll go home. You know what you say here, I'll go home.

[Ben]

That's like. I think I told the story before. About one time, I randomly somehow got invited over to Adrian Grenier's house, and he had, like, 10 people over. And, like, midway through the night, he pulled out a guitar, and he just had it behind his back. And he was like, yeah, I got this guitar. But he never played it the entire time. I think he played like, three, three, three. I was like, what? Why do you have this guitar? And I said, do you play guitar? He's like, no. So you won the Love Hotel, Adrian Grenier.

[Ron]

That's so on brand. So Ralph and Ashley are walking, and he's like, I'm just trying to be respectful. Should I not be?

[Ashley]

She's like, well, we broached some things that showed my intentions and my premeditated desires. Habeas corpus.

[Ron]

And then they make out. Ralph make out sounds.

[Ben]

So then Shannon, now all the men.

[Ron]

Are singing Love Hotel. This needs to stop.

[Ben]

Let's not make this a thing. Let's not make this the next. What would Jesse Solomon do? So Shannon is. Pulls Earl aside.

[Giselle]

She's like, earl, can. Can we have a.

[Ashley]

Can we.

[Giselle]

Can we talk in my room? I got a special steak for you.

[Ben]

He's like, well, don't. You don't have to call say my name twice.

[Giselle]

That was a joke, girl. You should be on to vegetables now.

[Ashley]

I've just been replaying my. My scene with Earl over and over in my head for the last couple of days. I'm just. I'm just not okay where we left everything now that I'm all alone again and have no options of people to kiss me. So I guess I'll make another effort towards second choice. Earl.

[Ben]

Are you doing okay, sweetie?

[Giselle]

Honey? Sweetie, honey, Sweetie? Yes. Yes, I. I'm okay.

[Ben]

Ups and downs, as always, you know.

[Ashley]

Oh, you're doing stair climber.

[Ron]

No, actually, I mean figuratively.

[Ashley]

Oh, well, that's too bad.

[Giselle]

Ups and downs.

[Ashley]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Giselle]

No, I was just. I was just gonna say ups and downs. Just like the pollen count I read this morning, it is up again. Like, ups and ups.

[Ashley]

It's important for me to have a serious conversation with Earl. Earl, I wanted to bring you in so we could have a conversation, just you and I. I wanted to have this privately. It's limitation day, and I want to give this to you.

[Giselle]

And she hands him a pair of longer shorts. So that way, when you sit on the sofa, America sees more than just your crotch.

[Ron]

And she tells us what's in this.

[Ashley]

Envelope is going to be his parting gift.

[Ron]

And she hands him this envelope, and he opens it and unfolds the paper. And we don't see what's on it, but he just starts.

[Ben]

He's like.

[Ron]

He starts crying.

[Ashley]

It's like, yes, Earl, that is a food pyramid.

[Giselle]

This here is what we call a cod Rabi. I think you should try it.

[Ashley]

If you make a dent in the bottom end and turn it upside down, it would be a heart. Okay? So let's work on that.

[Ben]

So he says, well, I'm. I'm not usually at a loss for words as. As long as they're quiet, they can't be too loud. And I opened it, and the only word I saw in there was. I don't know, I just started to cry, and something's going on, and I'm not sure what it is.

[Ron]

And Earl's crying and shaking. I mean, what the hell does that letter say?

[Ben]

My. My guess is that, like, Shannon was.

[Giselle]

Like, earl, I really like you. I don't see a future with you, but I want to help you. So I found someone who was gonna pretend to be your son and is gonna get that motorcycle out of your garage.

[Ron]

He's like, I can't believe it. Well, Shanna just crushed a man, so that was fun to watch.

[Ben]

I know. I feel like. I feel like she's won. I think she's needed to do that her entire life. And she finally got to crush a man. Bring a man.

[Ron]

I can't believe it. I really thought she was ending up with her own Earl. I still believe it. I still believe she's ending up with Earl.

[Ben]

I think so. I think. I think this is a misdirection. I think she's not eliminating Earl. I think that she is. She's. She's giving him something like a second chance coupon to Erewhon. I'm not sure.

[Ron]

A coupon. All right, well, that was sure fun, everybody. Thanks for being here with us for Love Hotel. We have a very special episode Friday with an which is an interview with Serena from below deck down. So join us for that and get this on video and all of our bonus episodes. We're still on our three part road trip, which is all videotaped. It's really fun. Go check that out on our bonus episodes last week, this week, and next week. And don't forget, we are back for Love island coverage on Patreon starting in June. We sure love you guys. We'll talk to you next time.

[Ben]

Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.

[Ron]

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[Ben]

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[Ben]

She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a Cannon. Anthony, let's take off with Tamla Plain.

[Ron]

It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet. Coutar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondry.com/[e-mail].

[Phil]

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