#2852 Below Deck Down Under S03E16: Rock and Troll

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Summary

Episode: #2852 Below Deck Down Under S03E16: Rock and Troll
Release Date: May 21, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Platform: Wondery

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Introduction to the Episode

The episode kicks off with a lighthearted promotion for their sponsors, Virgin Voyages and Amazon Prime. Ben and Ronnie share their enthusiasm for the luxury offerings of Virgin Voyages, highlighting features like Michelin-starred menus and kid-free cruises. They also discuss their long-standing membership with Amazon Prime, emphasizing its benefits such as fast delivery and streaming services.

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Behind the Scenes and Updates

Ronnie provides updates about their recent appearances and upcoming content:

• Jeff Lewis Interview: Ronnie mentions their enjoyable time with Jeff Lewis on Sirius, encouraging listeners to watch the video recap on their Patreon page.
• Video and Audio Road Trip: They announce a three-week road trip recap available exclusively on Patreon before transitioning to Love Hotel coverage.
• Upcoming Shows: Information about their tour dates in Seattle on June 12 and Los Angeles on June 19 is shared, inviting listeners to purchase tickets via their website.

Ben clarifies the distinction between "Love Hotel" and "Love Island," explaining that "Love Island" content will be available on Patreon, while "Love Hotel" remains accessible on the main podcast feed.

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Recap of "Below Deck Down Under" S03E16: Rock and Troll

The hosts delve into the latest episode of "Below Deck Down Under," focusing on character dynamics and pivotal moments.

Lara and Jason's Tension

• Lara's Insecurity: Lara feels undervalued by Jason, specifically upset over the "disco helmet" incident. Ronnie humorously summarizes Lara's frustration:

  "I would drown this lady if I knew her in real life. I would literally hold her head underwater." [06:20]

• Jason's Lack of Support: Jason fails to acknowledge Lara's efforts, leading to her emotional breakdown. Ben highlights Jason's minimal support:

  "He never says anything ever." [07:09]

Zarina's Struggles

• Personal Challenges: Zarina grapples with feelings of isolation and a lack of support, frequently calling her mother for comfort. Ronnie captures Zarina's distress:

  "I'm being bullied." [09:14]

• Professional Frustrations: Zarina expresses frustration over work-related issues, such as plate selections, which she feels undermine her role.

Crew Dynamics and Hot Tub Fiasco

• Neglected Duties: The crew's lack of maintenance is showcased through a filthy hot tub, prompting Ben's sarcastic remark:

  "It's green has, like, black crud at the bottom. It's like, what has been growing." [12:04]

• Harry and Bri's Relationship: The budding relationship between Harry and Bri faces scrutiny. Their interactions are filled with humorous and awkward moments, culminating in an "exclusive partnership" announcement that confuses their crew and family alike.

Resolution and Apologies

• Making Up: After several heated exchanges, Lara and Serena reconcile, albeit awkwardly. Ronnie emphasizes the superficiality of their reconciliation:

  "She said, 'I'm so sorry that you're such a big bitch.'" [22:01]

• Harry and Bri's Official Status: Harry and Bri attempt to define their relationship, leading to further confusion and comedic misunderstandings regarding their "exclusive partnership."

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Hosts' Interlude: Fish Report

Ben and Ronnie take a playful detour into their quirky "Fish Report," humorously critiquing various fish species with witty commentary and jokes. This segment adds a light-hearted break from the main discussion, showcasing the hosts' comedic chemistry.

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Final Thoughts and Season Tease

As the episode draws to a close, Ben and Ronnie speculate on the impending season finale of "Below Deck Down Under." They ponder whether all the characters will survive the turbulent journey, leaving listeners anticipating the next installment.

Ronnie wraps up the episode by promoting their upcoming interview with Serena, encouraging fans to stay tuned for exclusive insights.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ronnie on Luxury Shows:

  "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, most of the time I can just watch it for the shots of the gorgeous city and the houses." [00:00]

• Ben on Virgin Cruises:

  "Over $1,000 in value is included in every sailing. Everything they offer... is the pinnacle of luxury." [00:21]

• Ronnie on Lara's Frustration:

  "I would drown this lady if I knew her in real life. I would literally hold her head underwater." [06:20]

• Ben on Jason's Support:

  "He never says anything ever." [07:09]

• Zarina's Plea:

  "I'm being bullied." [09:14]

• Ronnie on Reunion:

  "She said, 'I'm so sorry that you're such a big bitch.'" [22:01]

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Conclusion

In this episode of Watch What Crappens, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam offer an entertaining and in-depth analysis of "Below Deck Down Under" S03E16: Rock and Troll. Through a blend of humor, insightful commentary, and engaging discussions, they dissect the intricate relationships and challenges faced by the show's cast. The hosts also provide updates on their own content and interact with their audience through playful segments like the Fish Report. Whether you're a fan of Bravo shows or new to the series, this episode promises a mix of laughter and thoughtful critique.

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Join their Patreon for exclusive content, bonus episodes, and access to their Discord server at www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.

Listen to Watch What Crappens on the Wondery App or your preferred podcast platform. Access ad-free episodes by subscribing to Wondery+.

Transcript

[Ronnie Karam]

One of the reasons we love watching Bravo shows is for the luxury. I mean, come on. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, most of the time I can just watch it for the shots of the gorgeous city and the houses.

[Ben Mandelker]

And let's not Forget Lisa Barlow's $60,000 ring that she lost.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, heck yeah. If you're looking for a way to experience luxury for yourself, try Virgin Voyages.

[Ben Mandelker]

Over $1,000 in value is included in every sailing. Everything they offer, from their menus created by Michelin star chefs to their cabins designed by top international firms is the pinn of luxury.

[Ronnie Karam]

Virgin Voyages cruises are kid free and catered to adult tastes. And they have some incredible destinations. We're talking Caribbean escapes, Iceland and the British Isles, Miami, New York. You can even live out your below deck Med fantasy with their luxe voyage in the Med.

[Ben Mandelker]

I am so excited to go on my first Virgin cruise. You know, the idea of a kid free ship is very appealing to me. And all these menus, it's like definitely a boat made for Ben.

[Ronnie Karam]

It looks like a giant gorgeous club with fabulous rooms. I cannot wait to go book now@virgin voyages.com or contact your travel advisor.

[Ben Mandelker]

We are so excited for our latest sponsor, Amazon Prime.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right. You know, we have been prime members forever.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, and as you all know, I'm really into sewing and I was thinking about sewing a shirt for our Texas shows and I was even thinking about getting little fasteners on it. So in fact, I've just ordered a beautiful fast or metal snap button kit from prime because it just helps me with my sewing.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh heck yeah. I just got an espresso machine. It was here by the next day. Prime has incredible deals all year long on pretty much anything you need. In this economy, we need it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Being a Prime subscriber gets you access to a ton of perks. You can stream sports, movies and TV shows with prime video, listen to your favorite songs on Amazon music, and of course get free one day or even same day delivery on thousands of items.

[Ronnie Karam]

It just makes sense. Visit Amazon.com prime to get more out of whatever you're into.

[Monica Lewinsky]

At hotels.com, we know some travelers crave an ocean breeze. Others don't wanna deal with sand. And oftentimes those two people end up together. Compare properties side by side to find yourself poolside, oceanside and still in a relationship. Find your perfect somewhere with hotels.com.

[Ben Mandelker]

Happens. Watch what happens. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's what crap is. Watch what crap. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what happens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on y old bls. I'm Ronnie. That's Beni over there. Hello, Ben.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hi, how are you?

[Ronnie Karam]

Good. How you doing, baby?

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, just making our way through the week. How about you, Times?

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm having a good one. Got up today and went over to Jeff Lewis on Sirius. So give that a listen. That was super fun. Thanks for having us, boys. Always a good time laughing with them. Also, we have a video recap right now of this that you're listening to only in audio. Get over and watch it. It's over on our Patreon page and that's also where you get bonus episodes. There's a three week video and audio road trip up for the next three weeks before we begin Love Hotel coverage on Patreon only. So there's also Ben will be leaving town next week, so we'll have a bunch of guest hosts coming to play with me. And below deck will be covered by Mr. Ryan Bailey and me and I. And so that'll be fun. So check that out. And we also have an interview with Serena herself coming out this Friday here on Watch what Crappens also video on demand if you want to check it out. We love talking to her. So much fun, so funny, Such a good chick. So go check that out. And also two last shows on our tour. 12 June will be in Seattle and 19 June we will be here in Los Angeles to finish it all out, darling. So join us for those. Get tickets over at watch what crappens.com.

[Ben Mandelker]

Now, I think you may have said that on Patreon we'll be exclusively doing Love Hotel recaps. But it's Love Island. Love Island. Very confusing because I call Love Hotel Love Island. And now we're starting to call Love Island. Love Hotel. Love island will be on Patreon. Love Hotel is on the main feed, you guys.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, I was trying to get myself saying Love Hotel because we keep. I keep saying Love island, so you're right. Anyway, Love island will be on Patreon. Love Hotel is up for free right now anywhere you listen to your podcasts. Okay. Yes, it's a freebie and it's a fun one today, so check it out.

[Ben Mandelker]

It is great.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay. But here we are. Oh, and we're recording dwell, hello. It's a 3B today. We're doing four shows today. So we will also be doing Dwell, hello. Which you can find over on Wonder, which is Also where you get things ad free. So go to Wondry if you want that. Okay, so dwell hello's house hunters recaps, by the way, if you don't know that. And today is one of the most annoying couples we've ever spoken about on this show.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't know.

[Ben Mandelker]

Be honest.

[Ronnie Karam]

I would drown this lady if I knew her in real life. I would literally hold out her head underwater.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's good because she wants to live by the water.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's why I drown her. I'd be like, here's the water. Here's right by the water. You're in it and I'm drowning you. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Have a good time. Goodbye. Yeah, goodbye, man.

[Ronnie Karam]

So join us for that. Okay, so Below Deck down under season three, episode 16 come swell or High Water. Now we're at the point in the below deck season where they needed to edit this down and have it end two episodes ago. We don't need any more. It's over yet.

[Ben Mandelker]

This episode. There was not enough for this episode. There just wasn't. There should have been a super sized finale and made it like next week and this week, 90 minutes and be done. Because not enough. Not enough content to go. To go around. Okay. So especially once they. Once Serena and Lara bury the hatchet, then there's really nothing left for us. So where we left off, Lara, that's.

[Ronnie Karam]

The only thing that happened. Don't give it away.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oops, sorry. There was puking. So previously. So Lara received the disco helmet and she's been insecure about where she stands with Jason. So now she got the disco helmet and she's just like, like really upset about it and not. She's like, she's scowling and like the only person who is not able to receive the disco helmet and laugh about it. So she like goes off to her room and sulks.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And she's still. Now she's crying. She's crying to Bri. She's like, I'm miserable. Miserable to my coal. I've been saying that since the start of the season. So I'm glad people are finally turning to my page, because you are. And she's like, like to the point. I just want to leave. Go. Do you want me to hold the door open for you? I will hold. I dare you to quit on the final charter. I dare you. I triple dog dare you. Do it.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like. I mean, he never even says to me, like, you smash it tonight. He never does that. Then we see like four different flashbacks where he's like, you're doing great, by the way. I just want to say, great job, by the way. Once I smashed it, I have to say, probably the best Chief Sue I've ever had. And by the way, note that I do say Chief Tsu, not just Sue. You are just fantastic. You're wonderful. She's like, he never says anything ever.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm just so sick of feeling like this. I'm so sick of it. And Bree's like, you can. You can't let it end like this. You've done so many things that people couldn't. Remember that time you put on a leotard and bunny ears. Nobel Peace Prize? Where's your Nobel Peace Prize?

[Ben Mandelker]

You have been able to do the unthinkable. You've been able to turn me, a model, into someone who's attracted to Harry, who wants to go to a New York City hostel. You can do miracles.

[Ronnie Karam]

So many have been through these charters, and they've said that they're never going to forget it. You did that.

[Ben Mandelker]

You.

[Ronnie Karam]

You did that.

[Ben Mandelker]

So meanwhile, Zarina is texting her mom, and she's like, this charter. So her mom, of course, faces.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's crying. She's like, mom.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, like, sobbing on the phone.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then we go back to Lara, and Lara's like, I love you. You're my best friend. She's like, I love you. You're my best friend forever. You two are so fake. Although I do believe Lara. I believe that Laura cycles through the best friends because I can't imagine keeping one. You know? I was like, let's go clean cabins again, best friend. Maybe you'll figure towels out this time.

[Ben Mandelker]

Should I just call you my little strawberry? So Harry is talking some crappy, stupid stuff. It doesn't matter. Up on the. On the boat. And now Zarina's talking with her mom, and her mom's like, so, Serena, how you doing? She's like, mom, I'm Sheet, the chief. Stew here is my friend. And I thought we were going to conquer the season together, but instead, she wants me to plate things on blue plates instead of white plates.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's just awful.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, no. White blades that are blue plates. I'm all turned around.

[Ronnie Karam]

Mother, you just don't understand what this woman is doing to me. She's giving lipstick to my suit. You know what that does to a woman. And you can tell that the mom gets these calls all the time of Serena just breaking down and freaking out and calling her mom like, I'm in the buzzfeed. Stop. You wouldn't believe It. I missed about, like two minutes. Why did they hate me? You remember when I missed the bus when I was a little girl? It's triggering, Mommy. It's triggering. Put up a picture of Serena in a tutu and teased hair and, like, Sharpie eyeliner as a 5 year old.

[Ben Mandelker]

Which is what they literally do right now. She's like, I feel like I'm back at school. I wasn't invited to eat at certain tables. I wasn't invited to certain parties. They're isolated. And the pictures are her, like, weird Barbie.

[Ronnie Karam]

Like, I like that every time she's like, I was bullied. They put up evidence of why she was bullied to, like, let the other kids off the hook, you know? I'm like, were the bullies the children of these below deck producers? Because I know every single time they're like, but this is why our kids bullied you right here. Look at those pictures.

[Ben Mandelker]

But it's like. It's like seven year old Zarina in, like, Goth Addams Family and makeup and outfits at, like, the Christmas pageant on the compass. So.

[Ronnie Karam]

But you can tell the mom hears these calls all the time because Serena's like, mom, I'm sick. And the mom just goes, oh, no. Yeah, mom. She goes through this whole thing and she starts. She goes, it's just really triggering. And she goes, yeah, I'm sure. I mean, mom, it's not supposed to be like this. Mom, are you watching Wheel of Fortune right now? I'm trying to cry.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'd like to buy an in. I don't really care, Zarina. Okay?

[Ronnie Karam]

Is it so bags? It wasn't saddle bags. What else could it be?

[Ben Mandelker]

Rst. Lne. You know what I'm saying more. Why can't I sit with rstavina?

[Ronnie Karam]

Listen, if you're being bullied, tell. Tell me Pat Sajak's not bullying me when he won't give me saddlebags. I mean, what else could it be? Soddle bogs.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'd like to solve the puzzle, okay? The phrase is stuck on the phone with my needy daughter again.

[Ronnie Karam]

Vanna White just gave me a pass. So that was at least liberating. So Serena's like, all right, bye, mom. She's like, oh, thank God. So the mom hangs up. And now people are cleaning, getting the boat ready. I'm a little ashamed of this deck crew because Harry's like, the only thing we need to do is the hot tub and these little love. And then we see the hot tub. It is completely disgusting and green at the bottom. What the heck?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's green has, like, black crud at the bottom. It's like, what has been growing. It looked worse than Jason's fish tank. And that says a lot.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, it looks like they've never cleaned it. Come on, Harry. Come on, Harry. You're the lead now. I needed to take more pride in hot tub flooring.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So then Lara's like, so, my little new strawberry, what's happening with Harry? Everything good? Embry's like, yeah. I mean, he really likes me. He made that really clear. But, like, obviously I was in an engagement once, and just the idea of having that title again, it's just tough to think about. I'm just really trying any excuse I can think of to not have to go to a hostel with Harry in New York City. Come on.

[Ronnie Karam]

That hostel.

[Ben Mandelker]

Try to pick up all the trauma.

[Ronnie Karam]

She is completely done. After he said the word hostile.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, totally done.

[Ronnie Karam]

And frozen, she's like, nope, this is frozen. So Nate is like, oh, I'm gonna sit behind everyone here. And here's like, you're getting there. I've been here longer, you know, move things, move quicker on a boat. Next thing, it'll be like, you want to be my girlfriend? What about that? I gotta ask her to be my girlfriend. It's just, like, five steps away from pregnancy, bro.

[Ben Mandelker]

And there it's like, you know, I'm not nervous talking to Bri about being official because I know that we're on the same page, which is, let's go traveling into grimy places with potential murderers that will go on the run. Caption the nation's attention and, you know, our relationship is like, emotions. It's, you know, it's up, it's build up. Okay? There's no more going forward. It's just going up, up, up. And nothing says romance like a shared bathroom with strangers in.

[Ronnie Karam]

You can't really bond with people on vacation till you've crossed streams. Am I right? So he's saying if there's anyone he wants to take back to meet his family, it's Brie. She's a mortal. So Lara, back to Laura and Bree, she's like, well, you've got this whole trip planned, so I think it's gonna be you and him. And that's gonna be really telling of how it's gonna be. Will he still open his mouth too wide? And some sometimes catch the occasional fly in there. Time will tell.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they are. There's, like, Alicia. Alicia's doing some stuff in the galley, and she's like, asks the crew to help Take some garbage bags out. So Nate shows up and he comes in and then she's ref flirted with him. She like spanks him and everything. They're whatever. And Zarina's like, you know, I don't like to get involved in my little chef's love affairs. But see, they get involved in that or face the fact that I was left out of a table in lunch period in second grade.

[Ronnie Karam]

A picture of Serena wearing a trash bag and cooked spaghetti in her hair.

[Ben Mandelker]

Who wants to sit with me? I'm the spaghetti monster. So she's basically like, I don't think this is gonna end well. And like, I don't want this poor guy to get his heart broken. And his tears are probably really big and annoying and have little mustaches on.

[Ronnie Karam]

Them, slightly cross eyed and squinty. And so then now they're having a cheers because they're wrapped for the day and the captain's even hanging out at the hot tub with them. So he's like, cheers, everybody. And he's trying to be friendly with Laura. He's like, what have you got, Laura? And she's like, viv, beautiful day. Have you got your outfit yet, Laura? But tonight your helmet. And she goes, yeah, thanks for that, Jason.

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, well, you know, it meant a lot. It meant a lot to get. It means a lot getting that thing. It means that helmet means it's time to shine and reflection. It's time to reflect. Time to shine and then reflect. Reflect your shininess onto other things, including your inner self. And he's like trying to make some sort of motivation out of it. He can't quite get there. And she's like, well, I'm not really sure what I did wrong, aside from not telling you that I'm promoting someone, but I guess that's a big crime of the century.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm not really sure what I've done wrong except refuse to tell you that I've promoted somebody. Tried to gaslight you when you insisted that I didn't and started fights with every person on this crew the entire season and made it a living hell for everybody. So I'm not really sure what you're talking about. And so he was like, all right, you know, maybe we should have a talk, like, let's go talk. And he goes, you know, I wanted to say something to you because there's little remarks that you're making. So what's going on?

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, well, the last 10 days to a week have been awful for me. Absolutely awful. Zarina's throwing spaghetti at me from across the bedroom. She says, this is part of what the Spaghetti Spaghetti Monster does. I don't even understand it. Is it a reference to something?

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, actually, that's her trying to love you. Don't you know? I mean, haven't you seen her prom pictures? It's how she did her hair.

[Ben Mandelker]

Unfortunately, she told me that her mom tried to get her in spaghetti straps, and she took it a little bit too literally.

[Ronnie Karam]

But of course, Lara sitting down, like, I've been bullied. You know, she's gonna start this shit again. I mean, at least when Serena comes to it, she's like, listen, we're arguing over this, this or this. Laura. Every time she does it, it' she's hurting me. She's. It's always some victim. So she's like, the issue is me and Zarina. And he says, well, you've got to rise above it, you know? I mean, listen, there was once a deck in my way, and I said, I'm gonna hit that. So instead, I rose above it and crashed down on top of it. So.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I. I, like. He just cuts right to it. He goes, did you say sorry? She's like, well, we didn't come to a conclusion. He's, why not? I mean, why don't you just say, hey, I'm sorry. Agree to disagree. Don't talk about me. Sorry. She's like, well, I didn't think it would be that simple. I thought I had to have a whole conversation, and I wanted to remind her that her choice in plates was a terrible choice and that only a true monster, spaghetti or otherwise, would choose a white blue plate when it was clearly a white plate. Evening. You know what I'm saying? Why would I ever apologize for putting out a white plate? White plates are my passion.

[Ronnie Karam]

I like that. She said. She's saying I bullied her into choosing plates. That's not bullying. He's like, but at the end of the day, you get nothing for kimonos. You know what I'm saying? And you guys are actually ripping each other apart. You're ripping feelings apart. All you've got to do is untie this open. Don't rip it open. It's a kimono, for Christ's sake. Captain's lounge kimonos coming soon.

[Ben Mandelker]

The reason why I'm focused on you is here, we're having a conversation with you, and it's because you're a chief stewardess with a hell of a lot of experience, and you're great at your job, and you're letting a professional experience ruin that. And she's like, I know. It's like you're being passive aggressive and holding on to grudges. And we can fix it. Every fight starts with a spark. So why don't we go back to the spark? And if you say the spark with the kimono, I'm gonna say, you're welcome.

[Ronnie Karam]

You're welcome. All right, this isn't relevant. You actually can put a fire out with your foot, right? And she's like, it's hard when someone's trying to bring you down. Laura, he's not buying your victim. Stop your crying. He's not buying it. What does the man need to tell? I love that everything he tells, he's giving her solid advice, like, stop making it personal. Go do something professional. And she's like, but I'm being bullied. Bullied about plates? I'll get the over it, you lipstick buyer.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, seriously. Seriously. Come on, come on, come on. So Laura's like, well, with my friendship with Zarina, I've always had this kind of uncertainty of level of trust in my past. I've talked to. Talked to her about my ex boyfriend, and I was cheated on, and she knew the whole story and she was there for me. But then the next month, she was out for dinner with him, and they're like, best friends. So, yeah, I do wonder how genuine she can be as a friend.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, really. While we're wondering about genuinity. What do you call it? What's the word? A genuineity. Genuineness.

[Ben Mandelker]

Genuine.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm going with genuinity because it sounds cute. While we're speaking of genuinity, we'll hear more about this on the Serena interview because we asked her about this boyfriend thing. Oh, we'll be hearing the true story about this, you big fat liar. So Jason's like, well, you're doing a great job, and the only thing you need to probably do and work on is letting go. Just let go a little bit. She's like, letting go of bullying. I'll try my best. Are you telling me it gets better? He's like, all right, please, can we just leave it? Let's not bring the Trevor project into this.

[Ben Mandelker]

So basically now it's like 7 o' clock, and it's 17 hours before the charter, and the crew is getting ready to go out for dinner. And Serena is like, Zarina and Lara are in the room together. And Zarina's like, what are you wearing tonight? She's like, I'm not 100% sure. Which is the kindest interaction they've had in like several weeks. So, yeah, then Zarina even does something wild. She goes, do you need a hand? Would you like a bowl of spaghetti on your head? And that is actually a kind gesture on my part.

[Ronnie Karam]

Would you like me to loan you a tutu and a tie dyed shirt? I was like, I'm just trying to think if I should go full blown disco ball? She goes, well, I mean, if you've got the honor of something that's incredible like that I would go full blown in it, you know, I mean, you can turn it around and see, like, just look at yourself and it turn it around, you'll see like hundreds of different bitch faces looking back at you.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Lara's like, I don't want to argue anymore. And Zorin is like, me too, even though you're at fault. And Lara's like, and I really, really don't want to argue anymore. Even though it was actually you who was at fault. Serena's like, can we hug? It's like, yes. So they hug and then they apologize and it's like a nice moment. And Laura's like, I'm sorry if I upset you. And Serena's like, literally, I can't do this anymore. I'm so sorry that you're such a big bitch. It's not your fault. It's just what. How you're hardwired. So we're so much better than this.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, we're better than this. And she's like, I know. You know, and I know I'm sensitive and I'm sorry if there's something I said that started this. Okay. With the if I sorry if I. But whatever, it's a sorry. So let's just move on, right? So she's like, and I never want you to feel that anything I say about plates or whatever is anything on you, it's just, you know, it's about your. Your plate taste. And that's all I'm saying, you know, so obviously that just got miscommunicated. I didn't mean you're. You're a terrible chef. I meant you're. You've got terrible style. That's all I really meant to say.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Zaria's like, well, I'm literally sorry for every other single way I reacted. And I totally respect everything that you guys have to do. I'm really just saying this because there's one more dinner night out and I just really want to sit with the cool people once this season. So can I be with you. She's like, no, but I am sorry for calling you a dickhead.

[Ronnie Karam]

You called me a dickhead? I mean, I guess I was a little bit of a dickhead then. And a skank. Well, I guess I was being quite a bit of a skank. And a smelly. Smelly 2x4. Couldn't get your big butt through the door. Well, all right. That's a bit far. And smelling. All right.

[Ben Mandelker]

So he's like, well, I'm so glad we're friends again. Let me go pee pee and then sniff my fingers. Okay. I'm really happy about this, by the way. Okay, well, we don't don't need to know everything. You called me. I think I got the picture. So they all go out.

[Ronnie Karam]

Sally. I said that if I didn't get that in the apology.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, that's enough now. That's enough.

[Ronnie Karam]

Easy pass on that hole in tunnel vagina. I'm not really sure if I got that in there.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right, that's. Wrap that up now, Lara.

[Ronnie Karam]

They're gonna move on, supposedly, in theory, they're gonna move on. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[Misha Brown]

Every successful business starts with an idea. And on the best idea yet were obsessed with those light bulb moments. Like how a bored barista invented the Frappuccino during his downtime and then it got acquired by Starbucks. Or how Patagonia's iconic fleece was inspired by a toilet seat cover. On the best idea yet, we dive into the untold origin stories behind the products you're obsessed with and the bold risk takers who made them go viral. These are the wild ideas and insights that made Birkenstock the best selling sandals since Jesus and made Super Mario the most played video game in the history of attention spans. Yeah, Nintendo almost became a ramen company until Super Mario saved it. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor.

[Monica Lewinsky]

At 24, I lost my narrative. Or rather, it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable. Names about the way that people have navigated romance roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now we go to it's the end of the season. So we do that thing where everybody's giving their goodbye monologues. I'm like, will they end up together or will they not? So Nate's like, I'm looking, I'm forward thinking type of guy. And Alicia is a girl I can see a future with. Of course I've said that about the three last girls who packed me jam at the supermarket, but you know, I'm really feeling it with her. You know, I'm talking white picket fence, I'm talking house by a lake. Like five little blonde haired, blue eyed rugrats, seven dogs, fireside jets, no cleaning ladies. She can do it all. Five dogs, 19 cats, a couple of Gila monsters, something like that. Maybe a bicycle. I love bicycles. Okay, your drinks are starting to bother me.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. Have nice VHS copy of Muriel's Wedding over on the console.

[Ronnie Karam]

But can I say something controversial? Muriel was in fact being awful.

[Ben Mandelker]

If you kind of look at the common, common denominator, it's Muriel. So I don't know.

[Ronnie Karam]

Most important part, we're gonna have some amazing smidges.

[Ben Mandelker]

Somewhere Elise is like her vagina just turns inside out. So Harry is ordering margaritas and everything. He's like, well everyone, we've got one more charter. If anyone wants me to gossip about anything, I'm all ears and happy to send the message to whoever you needed to be sent to. Okay, let's smash it out of the back. So then they go off for Boys.

[Ronnie Karam]

Chat, which they've now made a segment like Boys Chat, Boys bathroom chat.

[Ben Mandelker]

And they just, it's really, it really has not taken off. This is only the second time they've done it. It's a little late in the season to start this. And again, I think we said this last time when we have such like a venomous Boys Chat happening over on the Valley with coming to this Boys Chat, it's just kind of like, I don't know, it's just not as interesting.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Like, are any of you addicted to coke? Have any of you brought hookers home this weekend? Anybody sexually harass one of their friends? I mean, come on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Exactly. Instead of just Harry being like, so who wants to get a flower for a girl? So they're like, very middle school.

[Ronnie Karam]

So meanwhile, Serena is like, alicia, can I talk to you for a second? Now that the boys are gone, now you're leading him on. Alicia, she's like, I don't know. I mean, I guess I am. She goes, do you want him? Even a little bit of you? This is a boat. It's about serious romance. You can't lead a man on here.

[Ben Mandelker]

And meanwhile, Nate's like, well, I'm hoping I'm gonna get a little bit of a Kibb in Snuggie today. A smoochie. In fact, I'm gonna say to it, I'm gonna say, hey, I know a way to arouse you. Let's have some smoochies in what I call the smoochie room. Come on. Smoochie time.

[Ronnie Karam]

And it's like, right, well, go team then. That's what I say. Oh, are we actually doing Star Trek hints to each other? There you go, my mates. There you go.

[Ben Mandelker]

Did you. By the way, did you see Nick on Watch what Happens? I didn't actually watch the episode, but I saw, like, the tail end. He looked so handsome, and he's already handsome, but he changed his hair and he had a blazer on. I was like, this guy is. This guy is gorgeous on Bravo. And, like, he's just sort of like, low key, just there.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's hot. Yeah, he's just hot.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just want to give that a point and say he's hot. Sometimes I just want to say, this guy's hot. So they come back to the table and they're like, oh, my God.

[Ronnie Karam]

And.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Nick and. And Lara and Marina kiss and everything. And Laura's like, oh, look at you two together. You're so beautiful. And Bri. Then Harry says to Brie, like, hey, by the way, later, we need to talk. She's like, oh, my God, talk?

[Ronnie Karam]

That's all you've wanted to do all season. Oh, we need to have a talk. And now she's like, I don't talk to hostile people.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they go back to the boat, and then Harry brings Bree to chat on the deck. And everyone's, like, watching them on the camera, the closed circuit camera. He's like, all right, are we ready to talk now? Okay, you happy? You were comfortable Right there. Okay, so we both obviously really like each other, and I don't want to say something that I'll regret, which is that I would like to break up with you in the current state of us being non exclusive and graduate to being exclusive.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, they really tricked us on that one. They showed a preview where he's like, we're just friends or something, and they made it look like Harry was dumping the model. I was like, oh, hell no. I know Harry's not gonna pull that. But he didn't. He was just like, you know, getting engaged is different than asking someone to be boyfriend girlfriend. But I don't know if we're ready for boyfriend girlfriend. So I'd like to say, would you like to have executive privileges? Just like, is that like a special pool or locker in the office or something?

[Ben Mandelker]

It means you have your own dedicated cup for using mouthwash at the hostel.

[Ronnie Karam]

Bye, guys. Thank you. Love you. Be safe.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ronnie is talking to his clean the cleaning ladies. But I like to think that you're actually just saying that to Harry and Brie. Like, great scene. Thank you for the scene. Let's move on. Be safe, okay? We're bored.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, they know I'm in here working. But they. They're so cute. They're like two little aunties. So, like, have you eaten? Are you okay? Can we feed you? We can go to the grocery store. Yes.

[Ben Mandelker]

That is so nice.

[Ronnie Karam]

I love them. They're like, how is Texas? How's tour? How's your friend? How's your sister?

[Ben Mandelker]

That is lovely.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I lovely. They take care of me. Okay. So sorry. Inappropriate. I love you in the workplace. So, yeah, he's like, you can be my executive partner in privileges. You have this card you can use for discounts at local Star Beans. Sorry it's not a Starbucks, but we're not read for that anyway. We're not married, are we?

[Ben Mandelker]

So they kiss and everyone cheers. Because everyone who's been watching there were concern that wasn't going well. But they just. And he's like, oh, I've decided to make it official exclusive partners. I better fucking delete Tinder, okay? Because I'm gonna delete it right now. Forget about that. I've got a model.

[Ronnie Karam]

And she's like, exclusive partnership is just a warm up to being boyfriend and girlfriend. It's a stepping stone. Thank God we're not boyfriend and girlfriend. I just can't see anybody else except Harry. Wait a minute.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, oh, no. Jason comes out while they're all still watching tv and he's in his kimono. And they're like, what's going on? And he's like, sorry, I can hear you. And it just occurred to me the new people on the show didn't never see me in the kimono. So here it is. Soak it up. If you'd like to buy one, go to. To captainjason.com.

[Ronnie Karam]

Nate'S just like, holy kimono man. Oh, no. Sorry, Nate. Holy kimono man. He's like, all right, now it matches. Look at this. Look at my underwear. That matches. Sorry. It's an appropriate move, but you can get [e-mail] at some point. At some point.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Alicia asked Nate to chat in his room. He's like, all right, let's go have some smoochies then. A smoochie chat. She's like, yeah, okay. Well, I don't know if you can tell by my body language by the way I've sat completely opposite you at this bed and put a foot by your crotch so that we can't go any further. So I'm not mature about these things, and I've been through a lot of. A lot of emotions. I got some new lipstick. It's kind of kept me preoccupied. So I think, you know, I'm a supernova, and my star, that's exploded, and you need to be a supernova, too. You also need to be explosive and destructive of. So it's my strange way of saying, no, I like that.

[Ronnie Karam]

He goes, I've got to be my own supernova. She's like, yeah, I just don't have the mental capacity for an unexploded, unlit star. Does that make any sense to you? You're just sort of a dead rock floating around space trying to impregnate somebody with other dead rocks, and I'm a supernova. Do you understand? He's like, oh, are you. You're basically jam girling me. I don't know what that is. You're breaking up with me, aren't you?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes.

[Ronnie Karam]

Now, I do adore you and appreciate you. All right? So he's like, well, hearing someone's not interested is never a good thing to hear. But it's not like I'm not used to it. Paperboy said the same thing when I tried to entice him inside to trace some. Try some jam from the ladies who dumped me the week before. So I'll impregnate somebody. Don't you worry.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, I'm not gonna lie. I think Nate and I would make a great team. But the last couple of weeks with Johnny, I don't know. I haven't got the emotional capacity to watch someone else punch a wall, so. And the smoochie thing, that was the perfect excuse to break up with this golden retriever of a man.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, I did. I broke up with him in front of cabinets, and he still showed no rage. I just. I don't know what to do with that. I have to announce I am at the website CaptainSlounge Life right now. Oh. I'm proud to announce that the kimono has been released. Now, it is only one pattern. It's the same thing that he wears on the show. It's the exact same kimono. And it says, I'd write beautifully over the body and smooth feel against the skin, which is a bad sentence. It's not a sentence that makes sense. But you know what? It's okay. I'll take that. It's okay. But it also has three little dots, but doesn't move over, so there's no other pictures. And you can add to cart. And it's $300.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, I'm sorry. That should be $75.

[Ronnie Karam]

But I would. I've got other good news. It's not only that he's also got a towel. It's an eco beach towel for $50. $49. It's designed for lovers of the water who care about the planet. And it's got a signature scent. My signature scent. Captain J Botanical fragrance. A modern, addictive, and effortless unisex signature scent for those who live without limits. Hmm.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

I have limits. I'm limiting myself at your scent. I'm saying no.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, no. Narrow.

[Ronnie Karam]

But listen, if you want to, you know, look like the captain, go over and get his kimono. It is a sexy kimono. I wish I had kimono body. I would buy it. I would support the Captain, but I do not have kimono.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know if I have kimono body. But I think that's the thing with kimonos is that they kind of like. Like, kimonos work really well. Kimonos give you kimono body. I think, like, almost anyone can wear a kimono and it gives you a look, you know?

[Ronnie Karam]

No, no, I can't wear that. My neighbors would see me walking around outside and call the police. I'd never be able to go next to a school or a church. I would just like a look. Like a big Harvey Weinstein perv in that. I can't do it. But it's working for him. He looks great in it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, so now it's the first day of charter, and Lara wakes up, and she had a sexual dream about Jason. Maybe she visited that website and got some ideas.

[Ronnie Karam]

She smelled the scent, and she's in.

[Ben Mandelker]

She definitely did. And so she tells Zarina. She's like, I had a dream about Jason. I got him some lipstick. I liked it a lot. Serena's like, what? Like, together? Like, I've been trying two years with that man, and if you just soup in there, I swear to God. All that spaghetti for nothing.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, oh, the dream. I mean, I just went into this weird Other Realm. I was a dream about Jason. We were underwater. Ronnie, somebody named Ronnie was trying to hold my head down. And there were loads of children we saved and rescued together. And I told each of them as they passed by, now, go forth and make better disc choices.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's just really weird. So then we see Adair. She's like, that's our last pickup day together.

[Ronnie Karam]

But they also fucked.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, they fucked.

[Ronnie Karam]

That was the end. And this is the weird sentence. I'm so sorry, but she says, we were talking about how clear the children's eyes were, and then we hooked up. The kind of sex dream is that you talked about children's eyes and then you fucked. What's wrong with you?

[Ben Mandelker]

That's a weird one. That is officially. That is a weird, weird dream. So. So then Adair's like, oh, yeah, make.

[Ronnie Karam]

It on this gas.

[Ben Mandelker]

And they're all getting ready. They're cleaning, et cetera. Brie is telling the about the chat with Harry, and she's like, we've decided that we are exclusive. So. Why are you crying? I don't want to go to the hostel.

[Ronnie Karam]

We're executive exclusive. It's weird. It's like I was a regular clerk exclusive, and I got a raise, and I just don't know what it means. We need to have a talk about this. So Adair finds out, Darius sees Harry, and she's like, so your boyfriend and girlfriend, then? And he's like, well, I didn't say that. Women put a label on it. Well, that's what that term means. I mean, exclusive. I mean, come on. Executive exclusive? What the Is that an exclusive girlfriend that types? I mean, what the hell?

[Ben Mandelker]

Just, you know, exclusive. I mean, it's like when I said.

[Ronnie Karam]

That Miller Gold was my exclusive beer.

[Ben Mandelker]

That means I don't drink other beers.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

Exclusive.

[Ronnie Karam]

And the D goes, well, everybody, they're exclusive. Whatever that means.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Adair's like, what about you, Nate?

[Ronnie Karam]

You and Alicia, huh?

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, well, yeah, we had a little bit of a bed chat. Apparently, I'm an unexploded supernova, whatever that means. So back to the drawing board.

[Ronnie Karam]

That means you're a. All right. There. Just translated that for you. All right, let's get back to work, boys. By the way, Adair has become the hero of the season. Every time Adair is on now, I just crack up. I think she's so funny, and I love that she has no interest in these people at all. She's not even gonna fake it. She's no. Gross.

[Ben Mandelker]

Totally. So then we have preference sheet meeting. So Lara's like, I don't even want to look at Jason at this meeting. I can't look into his eyes because I feel like he's gonna know exactly that I was dreaming about him, and I don't want him to find out ever. So memo to self. Don't talk about this during your confessional. Oh, dear.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, my God. I'm just getting fanny flatters. I need to stop thinking about clear children's eyes. So Jason's like, all right, morning, team. Last charter, Wynn and Lori. They're a married couple from Carlsbad, California. Now. Doesn't tell you anything, but it tells Ronnie and Ben plenty. All right, let's enjoy this.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes, he's the CEO of JLab. JLab, which makes headphones. And I know that two podcasters would clearly Enjoy some free JLab headphones and exchange. They won't make fun of you too badly on their podcast.

[Ronnie Karam]

Are those really nice headphones?

[Ben Mandelker]

I feel like they might be. Maybe not. Actually, I don't think they are.

[Ronnie Karam]

I need, you know, I have to have the ipods because the AirPods, because they transfer from your phone to your iPad to your computer. I'm not going to say seamlessly, but I'm used to it now.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm sure they're very good, and at their price of $20 for their fake AirPods, I'm sure they're very good headphones.

[Ronnie Karam]

Now, if anybody who's ever listened to us on Crappy Hour, you know, the AirPod experience is not seamless. I'll just say there have been some traumatic moments on that show, but still love them.

[Ben Mandelker]

Actually, these people are totally fine.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they don't even have what one of them looks like. Not even a one.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, these are. These were, like, very generic people. So they want to have. For one night, the group would like a tasting menu of classic Seychelles dishes. Actually, you know what's so funny? My parents are on a cruise right now, and they are headed to the Seychelles as we speak. Like, my parents are living the below deck experience.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't know how parents. Your parents are such swingers.

[Ben Mandelker]

I feel like they're gonna hate it. They could be like, so there's a tortoise. Yeah. They're gonna be like, where's the museum? A tortoise. I don't want to see a tortoise sanctuary.

[Ronnie Karam]

They tried to show us a tortoise sanctuary. You know, the tortoises, they're just so old, Ben. All of them are just so old.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was fine. It was fair. So then the next day, day two, the guests would like to do a pirate themed treasure hunt competition on the beach. These people can now go to hell. I don't want their headphones if they're gonna make us watch them do a competition against the staff. No one cares about these sort of events. Stop doing it below deck.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they have to do each set up.

[Ronnie Karam]

The second day, Lara is still staring off into space. And so he's like, are you all right, Laura? She's like, yeah, good to go. And, you know, you can't tell with Lara if she's like, sex streaming or if she's pissed at you. Which is on brand for Lara.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Nate is. Nate's trying to start up the tender afterwards, and the tender won't start at all. He's like, oh, it's the final shot of the chart of the season, and we're trying to knock this thing out of the pack, and I don't know what the tinder is doing, but if only she would bloody start. The tender's like, well, unfortunately, I sort of see myself as an exploded supernova. And you haven't quite exploded yet. So I almost start for someone else.

[Ronnie Karam]

I've just been dumped by a tinder.

[Ben Mandelker]

That is embarrassing.

[Ronnie Karam]

It hurts.

[Ben Mandelker]

So he tells Jason. Jason then calls the provisioner and they're gonna rent a new tender. And then meanwhile, Jason's out in the hallway and Lara is like, hey, by the way, Serena came into the room and I apologized and for whatever made her upset, and she apologized, and we're gonna smile and we're gonna carry on.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, all right, I acknowledge you're doing a great job. And everything else outside that you can't control. You can't control it. You understand? Can't control what you can't control. You know what you can't control. More kimono.

[Misha Brown]

Every big moment starts With a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and ill media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is. This is the big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time. Like Quibi.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to, like, get other people to do it.

[Misha Brown]

And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie.

[Misha Brown]

Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy the big flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the big flop early and ad free on Wondery Plus. Get started with your free trial at wondery.complus.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now the guests are starting to approach. But I think before these guests come on this boat, Ronnie, I think it might be time for the fish report.

[Ronnie Karam]

Fish report. Fish report. Fish report. Wait, I don't have the fish report. Oh, you're doing.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, it occurred to me I didn't give it to you, but I'll just do it over here. I'll get a fish report this week. All right. Our first fish that we have today, it's a school of some beautiful red fish. These are the scarlet beauties. I like this monochromatic look for them.

[Ronnie Karam]

You know, these red fish are always high as fuck, so they had to get clothes to match their red eyes so it would look nice and they wouldn't look like drug addicts. Imagine these red eyes on whitefish. We'd be like, you look like drug addicts. Addicts. Get control over yourself. But with red skin, it works. So every drug addict out there just paint your skin red.

[Ben Mandelker]

But, you know, they're like. They show up at the party. They're like, guys, red is in, okay? I would not be caught dead not wearing red.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

Now look at.

[Ronnie Karam]

You're like. You totally got surgery on those eyes to make them rad.

[Ben Mandelker]

Now, by the way, check out this one. Look at this beaut. Look at this. I mean, have we ever seen something like this? So many colors. I love. I love this teal going on, lots of patterns. But you know what I really love about this fish, aside from its beautiful orange zebra makeup? It's like, you know what? I don't really need to have fins. I can just be a sleek teardrop shape, and I will be just fine.

[Ronnie Karam]

I was Gonna say this fish looked so good that somebody ate its ass off.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know.

[Ronnie Karam]

There's no ass on this fish. They're gone. There's no ass. They got their party makeup done and they came out assless, you know, but.

[Ben Mandelker]

It'S a little insecure about its look. I don't know. Can you see its eyeball? Its eye has kind of been like, oh, my God, this is my first day wearing this outfit. Do people like it? Is this too much? Is this too bold of a look?

[Ronnie Karam]

This fish was going to a party in the front. Look at the face. It spent a lot of money, and then it got caught in a net and just left in the net for a long time. Because look at the pattern on it. It's just like a net pattern all over it. And it came out assless with net all over its body. It's like it stood in the night, started well. This is now six in the morning where everything's gone to shit for this fish.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, I just got back from edc. Oh, my God. I hope no one realizes. I hope no one sees me on this walk of shame. Back from edc. Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay, next one. Okay, this one. Look at this. This guy. What a star. I love fish. This is about as cute. You know, they keep on trying to shove a clownfish agenda on us all season long. And we have actually not included the clownfish in our fish reports by intentionally. Because look at this cute ass.

[Ronnie Karam]

This is a cute fish. But here's the problem with this fish. It looks like one of those really cheap cartoon where they take a cutout of a face and then they put human lips on it, and it's like, those are human lips and it's making you uncomfortable.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, the puffer fish are just very, very cute. But I want you to know not all pufferfish are cute. Because look, we have another puffer fish.

[Ronnie Karam]

Even Is this fish. Does this have injections? This fish? Do fish have lips like this? This is the lala fish. It just keeps getting injections. No matter how crazy. It look like your lip is flipping up on itself. Lala fish fish.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's a season two reality starfish for sure. And then our next fish. Our next fish is this one. So this is another puffer fish. This is the season one pufferfish. It's like, I am just so glad to be part of this group.

[Ronnie Karam]

This is the Diane Frostenberg fish. It's just like, what happens to the La la lips, you know, as time goes on, it's like I invented the wrap dress.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know what? My husband, turns out he's gay. But we were okay with it. We liked each.

[Ronnie Karam]

Why won't anybody hug me? Is on my lips. No, you're covered in prickles. What are you, a cactus fish? What the fuck kind of fish is this? I want to turn you into a taco.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's the same fish as the one before. But, like, this is, like, in its youth. This is season one, you know? And now we're in season 14 on the Real Housewives, and it's like, listen, I'm one of the OGs of the sea. OG of the OC Sea. That is.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. That's like looking at my Facebook. I'm all young and fresh. And then you just skip forward. You just scroll down one second, and I'm like, covered in prickles.

[Ben Mandelker]

I wanted to give this school of fish a shout out for being uniform. We've seen a lot of chaotic fish this season. School schools. And this one is like, you know what? We will be orderly and we'll have a cool blue look, too.

[Ronnie Karam]

Except one little bastard over here. Down here on this. On the. On the right side of the screen. It's just like making the wrong turn. It's like, I'm sick of this shit. I'm leaving this school because I couldn't graduate because I didn't take my PE class. I'm like, bye, bye, everyone. Have fun. Little losers.

[Ben Mandelker]

As a compare and contrast, we have this orderly school, and now we're going to a chaotic school of fish. Now, I like that they're all yellow, but they're all crashing into each other. It's like, you know what? Go in order, single file, and you'll get to your destination. But now you're all crashing into the same rock.

[Ronnie Karam]

This is me the first time I drove a Vespa in Italy. There's no lines on the road. This is what it looks like. And they're like, no, it's totally orderly. Orderly fashion.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. These are people that, you know. All these fish are at Costco right now rushing to get a sample. That's what they all look like. Yeah. Okay, next up we have. Look at this. Beautiful.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's a big version of the fish that we just saw with the painted face. And this is before it was put in the net. See, it has nice stripes and it still has a tail. No one ate it.

[Ben Mandelker]

This one's. I love its shape. I love. I love again, that teal. Teal streaks, the orange. It's almost like salmon colored, which is kind of vicious, if you think about it. And its friends are all cute and chic. So this one's. I'm a big fan.

[Ronnie Karam]

These little purple fish are fabulous, but, you know, they're always running around like, why are we always in the ensemble? Why are we never the lead?

[Ben Mandelker]

And they're all going in different directions. They're a terrible school. Okay, then we have these. This is. This is a quick shot. But, like, I just, like, I love this yellow streak across these. These fish's eyes, you know?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. They're like. It makes me look thin. And I'm like, I can. We all know that you bought. That's a bodysuit. Like, we all know that you bought that. Like, I know that it's camouflaged, and you're gonna look just like me once you take that shit off. So stop absurd me and let's just go to the movie, you know, Take off your Spanx. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, now this. We have a. This. Okay, this jellyfish is like the Amadeus of jellyfish. Look at it. It's got, like, the bloomers.

[Ronnie Karam]

That is. You know that fish. That jellyfish has tenure somewhere. That is just like a.

[Ben Mandelker]

It does.

[Ronnie Karam]

The gray, scraggly bearded jellyfish is like, I'm upside down. And it's not even on purpose.

[Ben Mandelker]

And you could tell it has tenure somewhere because it's not even putting any effort. It's just swinging right through the shot like, hello.

[Ronnie Karam]

15 minutes late, my ass.

[Ben Mandelker]

Your term paper is due tomorrow, by the way.

[Ronnie Karam]

Fire me.

[Ben Mandelker]

I dare you. And then we have just here, like a. This is just like a little. This is kind of like a little fish parade happening here. Here. Yeah, just some basics here. Just array. Oh, and our last one. This.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, look at this. Hello. Goodbye.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's like I'm barfing, but I'm barfing up fabulous burlesque feathers. This is the fish that makes my favorite Bravo sound effect when it's like.

[Ben Mandelker]

Album. Yeah, I love it. It's. But it's also kind of funny. It's like, look at me. I've got flamboyant feathers. No, don't look at me. Look at me now. Don't look at me. Look at me now.

[Ronnie Karam]

$5. It wasn't 10. $20? No. It wasn't 50?

[Ben Mandelker]

No. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Another funny fish. Faced. Another funny faced fish. What a good one.

[Ben Mandelker]

What. Which one was your favorite?

[Ronnie Karam]

Favorite of the. This one.

[Ben Mandelker]

This one?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm. I'm gonna give mine. Oh, I kind of want to give it to this cute one, but I'm gonna give it to this one. I love this one. The speckle.

[Ronnie Karam]

You're giving it to the victim.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love the assless because it's doing so much. It's proving that you can do stripes and polka dots at the same time.

[Ronnie Karam]

So this fish had a rough night, and it's still swimming. You know, it's not staying in bed all day, so. Yeah, I agree. Although that one's so cute. That one is.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's so cute. The. The bloat. Oh, it's so cute.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right, that's of the fish report. Fish.

[Ben Mandelker]

Great times.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right, so we're waiting on these basic ass people talking about crab legs. Serena's gonna give Alicia a recommendation for culinary school. And she's like, well, I've come a long way from the girl that almost killed everyone with a spicy curry. Now I'm the girl with new lipstick who's just broken the heart of a dull, gray floating rock.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. They're going to drop anchor, and they're serving lunch. And the guests are also impressed with the crab. They're like, this is amazing. How wonderful. What a beautiful, wonderful lunch. Unfortunately, Jason has yet again decided to take them to Swelleyville. Population. This boat. So this boat is, like, rocking, and for the rest of the episode, they have this undercurrent of a sound effect that's going.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

And so you, like, just sitting there watching. You just feels he's sick.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And it's really bad. We see it swing, the plates moving, and the Gus are like. So does the boat always rock like this? Because it's not great. And it does. Jason's like, well, that's what you got to do. It's a boat, and that's how they work. Work. And he's like, the stabilizers are working. You wouldn't know it, but Katina's a big boat, all right. But it's no match for the swell that's coming in. So he's like, tough titties, basically. So now they all start barfing.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, they. Basically. They're all getting nauseous, and we. And you can really see, like, in every scene, you see the oceans, like, going up and down. Like, it's a pretty intense swimming well. And Jason's like, well, they'll just have to get used to it. Sorry.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, so it's pretty bad. A guy really does go off and barf, and then they're talking about the food, and Serena's like, is everything okay? Why aren't they eating? It's like they're barfing. Okay. They can't eat. So then Bri, Laura and Marina are serving the snapper, and Bri's like, oh, my God, dare. Do you know what's going to be funny? Bringing Harry to New Jersey. Because when I moved to America with my fiance, I was like, oh, my God, what did I do? But, you know, Harry's already here, so he'll be easier to dump.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, there's like, wait, but so when you guys go to America, you guys be going to any monster truck rallies? Because otherwise I don't see this as being a long lasting relationship.

[Ronnie Karam]

Y' all got rodeos, New Jersey. Why the fuck do you live there? Y' all getting married in the pub where y' all getting married?

[Ben Mandelker]

So Harry is like. Harry is like downstairs showing everyone going, now you want to know how to fold a towel? Okay. If you roll it like this, it's gonna be soft and fluffy. That's not a towel. This is a towel.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Serena is going to bed and she's telling Alicia to finish up the galley. And then Serena runs into the captain in the hall and is like, thank you for speaking to Lara, because things are very nice now. You know, shacks. Let me tie her hair with a bit of spaghetti. He's like, oh, all right. She said it was a good chat. She's like, thank you. I really appreciate it. And surely I'm not speaking too soon.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So then Bree's in bed and she's FaceTiming her mom, and her mom is like, lara, you look tired. And Lara's like, I'm so tired. I'm so tired. But thank you. By the way. One thing I love is doing my hair up like this and hearing a lady in New Jersey say that I look tired. That's really wonderful. While I'm on television, if I look.

[Ronnie Karam]

Tired to a woman in New Jersey, how do I look to everyone else? God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Then Harry joins in. He's like, hi, Mommy, do you know how to roll a tailwall? Okay. Do you know that Bri and I, we're exclusive? We're basically boyfriend, girlfriend, I'm your son in law now.

[Ronnie Karam]

And the mom just goes, but like, I thought she was breaking up with you today. You know, everybody's like, oh, mom, are we breaking up? I just heard you saying. But I know you didn't say that. She's like, what did you say? We're exclusive, Mom. And it's like, hello, Mommy, exclusive. You've got a new executive partner in the family.

[Ben Mandelker]

Brie's like, I'll call you later to explain it, mom, don't worry.

[Ronnie Karam]

Mary's like, your mother doesn't seem very impressed.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, because her mom knows exactly what's going on.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Bri's like, yeah, you know, an exclusive partnership. You're testing dynamics of a relationship before you fully lock it down. No, your dating experience was when you were testing the dynamics. This entire charter season was the test. Okay, dump him. Dump him now.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So Jason's awakened in the middle of the night by the swell of the boat, and he's like, well, there's nowhere else I can move it to, because over there there's other water, and over there there's other water. All of its water. What can you do?

[Ben Mandelker]

And so then everyone's waking up, and Zarina's tired because the boat was rocking, the rooms were hot as shit, and Marina and Nick are out on the bow, and they're, like, looking at the scenes, and they're, like, having a nice romantic moment looking at the scenery. And Zarina's watching the closed caption. Not closed captioned, closed circuit tv. And she's like, oh, look, Marina and Nick are having a date up on the sun deck. That looks nice. Should we go up there and throw spaghetti at them? What do you think, Alicia?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And they're doing the end of the season thing where Marina's like, I really like him, but, you know, it's the end of the season and we're yachties, so you never know where we're gonna be. So she asked what he's doing after this, and he's like, I don't know, probably a Stall Trek convention or two. What do you. About. What about you? I haven't thought about it. She's like, you haven't thought about it, really? Have you ever thought about maybe my grandmother needs some mortgage help? That could be romantic.

[Ben Mandelker]

You can move in with grandmother. So then everyone is, like, gathering and they're talking about going on the treasure hunt and stuff like that. And Lara's saying her stomach is. Everyone's feeling kind of sick, even, like, the staff, etc. And Nate's talking about, like, the plan of the attack is that they're gonna. He's gonna. They're gonna go with this new tender over to this area to set up this beach setup. But the issue is that it's. There are a lot of shallow areas, so they have to be quick.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now it's breakfast time, and Serena is figuring out food and Lara's radio. Gali. Gali. Lara.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lara.

[Ronnie Karam]

Lara. Gali. Zarina. Zarina. And no One's answering, dun, dun, dun. Because Zarina. Zarina is talking about runny eggs. So she's very busy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Zarina's not listening to her radio or it's not on or something. And so Lara has to go all the way downstairs to get the breakfast food or she has to find out if something is ready. So she comes all the way downstairs, she's like, is anything ready? And so, like, well, have we got the fruits and stuff? And Laura's like, well, that's on the table. And they're talking about it. And Laura's like, a little snippy because she's like, why don't you have your radio on? And then, you know, they finally get the stuff and they're going upstairs, and Laura's like, these stairs are killing me. I'm killing my stomach. He's eating my stomach. And so Zarina's like, is there something wrong? She's like, why is your radio. Why don't you have your radio on? I can't just keep coming up and down these staircases like this.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, sorry. Is she only allowed to not be wearing her radio if she's got a leotard and bunny ears on? So Serena's like, I mean, I just don't understand this. Laura and I've made up and we're friends again, and she's still huffing and puffing around me. Am I going crazy or is this deja. You're not sitting at my table. Vu.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I think in this case, Lara's huffing and puffing was. Was valid. I think that, like, it was bad when Lara herself did not have a radio on. And when. When the shoe was on the other foot, it was equally as bad. People have to have the radio on. And if Captain Lee were here, he would have a few choice words to say about that. So they are getting this. They're just doing this breakfast stuff. And so. But basically what we're seeing is that, like, not all as well with Laura and Serena, that their. Their makeup was only temporary and that it's still going to fall apart. Yes.

[Ronnie Karam]

And so the boat's still swelling. Everything's still going to hell there. They're trying to figure out shallow water, and they're going to have to figure it out next week. Don't, don't, don't. The season finale. Will everybody die?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Because the big thing is that Nate. Nate goes out with. Nate goes out with the Tinder, the tender over to the area, and he gets stuck in the sand. And now the guests are waiting to go out onto the sand because they're all nauseous. They want to get the hell off the boat. And they can't get the boat off of the sandbar. Done.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right, everybody, thank you for being here. We will be back Friday with an interview with Serena, so come check it out. We'll talk to you next time. Bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King it's always a party on Allison block Our.

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ronnie Karam]

Always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no short shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.