#2861 Below Deck Down Under S03E17 Part One: The End of TzaLara with Guest Ryan Bailey

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Summary
Episode: #2861 Below Deck Down Under S03E17 Part One: The End of TzaLara with Guest Ryan Bailey
Release Date: May 27, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Guest: Ryan Bailey

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Introduction and Guest Welcome

The episode kicks off with host Ronnie Karam welcoming guest Ryan Bailey for a special recap of the season finale of Below Deck Down Under.

Ryan Bailey [02:11]: "Well, hello and welcome back to the Watch What Crappens podcast. I'm Ronnie and today for this very special Below Deck finale recap, I'm with the gorgeous Ryan Bailey from the So Bad It's Good podcast with Ryan Bailey. Hello, Ryan."

Season Finale Recap

Ryan and Ronnie dive straight into the recap of the finale, highlighting the emotional and logistical challenges of concluding the season.

Character Dynamics and Developments

• Harry and His Relationship:
  The hosts express relief and amusement over Harry finding a partner, albeit in a lighthearted and somewhat sarcastic tone.

  Ronnie Karam [03:17]: "Like, what are they going to do? Are they going to have somebody to hold hands with in the food court?"

• Laura's Behavior and Conflict with Serena:
  Laura's antagonistic behavior towards Serena is a focal point. The hosts critique Laura's manipulative tactics to undermine Serena, especially concerning the seven-course dinner dilemma.

  Ryan Bailey [48:20]: "This is crazy. So she says, yeah, it's tricky up top. ... What a dumbass."

• Captain Jason's Leadership:
  Captain Jason remains the stable force aboard the yacht. Despite ongoing issues like the stuck tender and malfunctioning stabilizers, he maintains composure and authority.

  Ryan Bailey [56:55]: "He was like, 'you learn something, something. You did it. You learned you'll never do it again.'"

Key Plot Points in the Finale

• Stuck Tender Incident:
  Nate, the boatswain, gets stuck on the tender, leading to frustration and added stress on board. The failed attempts to retrieve the tender highlight operational challenges.

  Ryan Bailey [14:54]: "Should it be called stabilizers if it doesn't stabilize?"

• Seven-Course Dinner Crisis:
  A significant conflict arises over the impracticality of serving a seven-course meal with insufficient cutlery. Laura's handling of the situation is criticized for her lack of foresight and blame-shifting towards Serena.

  Laura [46:22]: "We've never worked on a boat. And I know about the cutlery."

Analysis of Characters' Actions

• Laura's Manipulative Tactics:
  Laura attempts to pin the dinner disaster on Serena, exacerbating tensions and showcasing her lack of teamwork.

  Ryan Bailey [47:20]: "She doesn't know how much you suck at your job at this point."

• Serena's Professionalism Under Pressure:
  Serena remains calm and solutions-oriented, contrasting sharply with Laura's chaotic approach. Her willingness to adjust portion sizes and accommodate guests underscores her competence.

  Laura [48:49]: "What the fuck?"

Fish Report Interludes

Interspersed throughout the episode are humorous "Fish Reports," where the hosts anthropomorphize various marine animals, drawing parallels to the yacht's cast members and their behaviors.

• Hot Turtle:
  Represents Sheena Cornet, noted for her attention-seeking nature.

  Laura [26:08]: "This turtle is that Sheena cornet. That's a beautiful."

• Fabulous Bat:
  Symbolizes Captain Jason with references to his composed and enigmatic demeanor.

  Ryan Bailey [34:02]: "Look, it's grooming itself. Like, when am I not grooming myself?"

Humorous Observations and Jokes

Ryan and Ronnie sprinkle the discussion with witty remarks and playful jabs at both the show’s characters and the Fish Reports, maintaining an engaging and lighthearted tone throughout the episode.

Ryan Bailey [35:55]: "That's impressive. And also goal weight. I've always wanted to just hang upside down like that."

Conclusion and Teaser for Part Two

As the episode wraps up, Ronnie announces that this is Part One of a two-part recap, encouraging listeners to tune in for the continuation.

Ryan Bailey [58:07]: "Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers."

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Notable Quotes

• Ryan Bailey on Laura's Leadership:

  "I think Laura decided she wasn't going to make up a Serena. She didn't like that. So she's going to try and trigger Serena into, like, having some kind of breakdown and making her look stupid because she's like, well, I don't want to do seven courses. So why don't you go talk to him about it?" [46:43]

• Ronnie Karam on Captain Jason:

  "He was kind of hands off for most of the season, but then when he does need to come in, he's like, you're fired. You're fired. You're fired." [57:05]

• Ryan Bailey on Fish Report:

  "We put them together. Ron, come on." [41:49]

Final Thoughts

This episode of Watch What Crappens offers a comprehensive and entertaining analysis of the Below Deck Down Under season finale, blending detailed plot recaps with humorous insights and character critiques. The inclusion of Fish Reports adds a unique and playful layer to the discussion, making the recap both informative and engaging for listeners, whether they're fans of the show or newcomers seeking an overview.

Transcript

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[Laura]

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[Ryan Bailey]

Well, hello and welcome back to the Watch what Crappens podcast. I'm Ronnie and today for this very special Below Deck finale recap, I'm with the gorgeous Ryan Bailey from the so Bad It's Good podcast with Ryan Bailey. Hello, Ryan.

[Laura]

Hello, Ronnie. And to the audience. We just did a whole podcast before we started, FYI.

[Ryan Bailey]

So we did. And you know, I could not press record because I was still getting some fish together for the fish report.

[Laura]

Thank God. Priorities people need the fish report. That's what we're here for today.

[Ryan Bailey]

Thank you for being here any day, but also especially on this below dick finale day. Because this is never an easy day. Not because anyone's crying that this shit's over. But because it's very difficult, the finale, it's like hugging. It's just.

[Laura]

Yeah, it's a very end of the school year vibe, you know, where you're like, we have to say goodbye to all of these characters, some of which. We've never even learned their names the entire season, and wonder what they're going to be doing for the summer. And you get to see, like, this. Thank God Harry is going to be with that girl for a little bit. Like that. That warmed my heart, but it was.

[Ryan Bailey]

Oh, God. Yeah. I was really worried about those two fucking basics. Like, what are they going to do? Are they going to have somebody to hold hands with in the food court? I don't care.

[Laura]

You know, they enjoy matinee mov together. And the fact that he was, like, in the last episode, just kept apologizing to her, like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. She was twerking on me. I'm so sorry. And he just kept apologizing.

[Ryan Bailey]

And I was literally sobbed. The man literally sobbed.

[Laura]

And she loved it. She loved it.

[Ryan Bailey]

She was like, you're the one for me. A man who will sob an apology. Yes, you're the one.

[Laura]

I mean, the. I mean, it's like you. No, she was getting full fanny flutters. It was amazing.

[Ryan Bailey]

That's all she needed. This whole season she's been like, I need more from Harry. I just. I don't know what it is. But anymore. And she gets him sobbing and apologizing, and she's like, that's it. Just came. Just came.

[Laura]

Harry reminds me of the dad, Crispin Glover from Back to the Future, but not, like, as the nerdy part. Like one Michael J. Fox goes back and changes the future. And then Crispin Glover, like, the dad has changed. He, like, wrote a book and he's. That reminds me of Harry, you know.

[Ryan Bailey]

Harry reminds me of. Did you ever watch Absolutely Fabulous? I'm sorry, I'm bringing up.

[Laura]

Oh, my God, Ronnie. I have a note, right? The chief Stu reminded me of, like, very ab. Fab vibes.

[Ryan Bailey]

Oh, yes, yes. Well, Harry, they did a trip where they went to Morocco and there was this, like, perv that they know, this, like, guy perv. And he's just like, ooh, ooh. And just the way his face, like, his eyebrows go all the way up. He's like, ooh, that's very hairy. And I know Harry, you know, is so nice. And everybody loves Harry. And I'm not a Harry hater. I mean, Harry does seem genuinely nice, but there's just something about Harry that I don't trust. And I don't know if it's that.

[Laura]

Really you go so as far as you do not trust Harry.

[Ryan Bailey]

I don't trust Harry. No. I'm gonna say that I don't trust Harry. He seems to. He seems like sneaky or something. There's something. And also he's a big tattletale. You know, that's another thing I don't like about Harry. He's always tattletailing and then he's always running to the girls with all the gossip to like, get everybody else in trouble. I mean, he's just not a trustworthy person. But he seems nice.

[Laura]

I wonder if he comes back next season after his new girlfriend. And his voice is like lowered three octaves, like, what's up, Captain Jason? What's going on?

[Ryan Bailey]

Listen, I've. I've seen a lot of people change in my 50 years. I've never seen anybody change that much. Have you?

[Laura]

No, no, no. You made a really solid point there, Ronnie. Thank you. Yeah, you're right. No, I don't trust Captain Jason, but they don't.

[Ryan Bailey]

That.

[Laura]

Yeah, that's true. People don't want to put the work in. Captain Jason is the one that sometimes I don't trust because he, to me is just. I mean, he's so solid. I mean, he's very Tom Cruise in a way where he is just.

[Ryan Bailey]

I'm here, I'm vaping off camera to be.

[Laura]

Oh, yeah, you guys really. You know, he's very. Captain Jason is like very Tom Cruise in the sense that Tom Cruise just wants to make films and Jason just wants to provide a good service. And he loves this yacht and he loves the Seychelles and he's very asexual. To me, like, he's considered the hottest thing that Bravo has going in terms of a man, yet you cannot ever see this guy hooking up with anybody.

[Ryan Bailey]

You know, it's interesting because Danny Pellegrino was just here. We were in Crappy Hour together and we were talking about that article that came out of in People about Bravo's sexiest bachelors. You saw that?

[Laura]

I'm sure Tom Schwartz was like, what's up, everybody?

[Ryan Bailey]

Schwartz, Carl Shep. And then of course, the model Beckford coming to Tyson. Beckford coming to you. Beckford was in there like, legit gorge. But then you've got all these other dumb dumbs from Bravo. And Danny said, you know, I notice he's like, take Tyson out of it. He's like, but you notice everybody else is kind of asexual on that. If you think about it, you've got Shep, who. I said, shep's not asexual. He just comes in two seconds. So it doesn't really matter. It's like frat boy coming, you know.

[Laura]

Was it good for you?

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Shep, I think, is too drunk to even know. But, like, Carl and Schwartz and.

[Laura]

Well, Carl is completely asexual. Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Bailey]

So now you're seeing Jason, and so that makes sense. And by the way, it's not to diss asexuality, Obviously not me. I'm like the president of it.

[Laura]

But, you know, I mean, I'm not screaming like, you don't see me. And it doesn't scream sex at all. Like, I. But I, like, remember that Bravo con we were at a couple years ago, and everybody, like, the whole weekend was just about getting Captain Jason laid. Like, not even from, like, the fans. It was like la la. Like, every panel you would go to, there would be a question where it'd be like, would you. Would you bone Captain Jason? Like, that was every panel I went to. They would just, like, get to a point where they would ask it, like, would you hook up with Captain Jason? Where I was like, why aren't we doing Love Hotel? Let's just do Love Jason.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, they could. They could try to do one of those Shep relationships or whatever. Or relationships or whatever they did. Relationship Jason. Just Jason up. You know, I mean, maybe.

[Laura]

Do you think people know the history of Bravo as much as they should? Like, because you just said relationship. And I wonder if there are people out there still that don't realize Shep had a one season long dating show.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, well, you know, times those years just keep flying by. I mean, we'll mention stuff and people are like, what are you talking about? That fight never happened. I'm like, yes, it did, 15 years ago. Do you watch Bravo? But, yeah, Relationship. That was the first dating show I've ever seen. So many people leave, they're like, no, no.

[Laura]

Just willfully.

[Ryan Bailey]

Every.

[Laura]

Everybody wants to be a reality star. And that's like the one show. People were like, I'm good. Actually, I don't even. I just realized I didn't get a lot of attention from my parents when I was younger.

[Ryan Bailey]

I. I tried to kiss him. He burped in my mouth, and there was a tooth in my mouth. When there was a wooden tooth in my mouth as he walked away, like, I'm out of here.

[Laura]

If you kiss Shep, you are going to get an immediate taste of brisket. Like, smoked brisket.

[Ryan Bailey]

And some probably in your mouth because it's still on his teeth. You know, he's just one of those gross. But yeah, Jason is very. He's like, being put forth as this sexy guy. And he is sexy, but he's good looking. But I agree that there's not a ton of, like, energy dripping off there. Like the season where he's, like, coming out and the shirt's. You know, the wet shirt. And then he's selling his kimono. He's like, oh, yeah, the Captain's Lounge kimono. I'm like, please put your clothes on. I'm trying to eat butt crack everywhere.

[Laura]

And didn't Laura just have, like. Like a. Like a sex dream about him, like, last episode or, like, I don't believe that either.

[Ryan Bailey]

Do you?

[Laura]

I mean, yeah, because I was like, come on. You did not explain the sex dream. Like, that would have been a fun scene if she had to explain in detail to Captain Jason the sex scene.

[Ryan Bailey]

Well, the sex scene actually was pretty funny. She's like, I imagined that we were saving children and the children had beautiful eyes. And then we fucked. I'm like, what the. You were saving children?

[Laura]

Oh, he wants to make eye contact with you during sex. You just know it.

[Ryan Bailey]

Oh, God. I mean, I kind of like that deal because it keeps it off my. It keeps your eyes off my love handles. Like, just look right here.

[Laura]

No, like, right.

[Ryan Bailey]

Right here. Right.

[Laura]

Yeah, right. Right at these baby blues.

[Ryan Bailey]

Come on. I'm looking into your eyes and you're looking at the exit sign. I'm like, it's called romance. Finish. Get her done. Can I get some chef timing over here, please? All right, so below Dick Down Under. Oh, and also, you're not only doing your own show. You are a chump these days. On the Jeff Lewis radio show, Jeff Lewis says.

[Laura]

Jeff. Jeff Lewis live. You were. You guys were just on last week. I get made fun of by Jeff. It's only. I mean, that's when you were. When I was watching flipping out. Like 12. However long. How many years ago, how many decades that was. I used to love flipping out. And just to think that I never was watching that. Thinking that one day I would get completely made fun of by Jeff Lewis every week, right?

[Ryan Bailey]

You just watch everybody else being traumatized. Like, this is so entertaining. And now that it's your turn, you're like, God damn it, this guy's great.

[Laura]

Oh, cool. He's talking about my nipples and bedwetting again. Amazing.

[Ryan Bailey]

Love it he is harsh, man, but very funny. So love you on that. Okay, so I just wanted to give them a shout out. Ha. Okay, so now let's go over to the Below Deck down under season finale. My first kind of complaint is I don't need 17 episodes of below Deck. I don't need it.

[Laura]

Can I tell you something that might blow your mind, Ronnie, is that you asked me to do this last week, and I was like, hell, yeah. And I had not watched an episode of Below Deck Med this season. And so in this past week, I have watched 17 episodes of below Tech Mad Ryan. And I will. Well, listen. Below Deck. Like, I watch Below Deck Sailing Yacht. I watch. But, you know, sometimes a season will get three or four episodes in, and you're like, I don't. I can't do it. I can't. I can't get in there. I don't have the time. And then I always want to get around to it. And you asked me, and I was like, oh, this is the perfect time. And I have been in Below Deck down underworld for the last week, and it is so funny. Like, I'll have. I want to have dreams about having sex with Captain Jason, but I will have dreams of like, we got to get these stabilizers. People are getting sick up here. I am fully in Below, and it's so sad because now it's over, and I'm kind of. I want to know what happens next week.

[Ryan Bailey]

Oh, don't worry. The next one comes out next week. That's why. That's why I'm saying we don't need 17. It's on year round. Like, enough, you know, I think a good 12 is good.

[Laura]

Below Deck is that, like Old Faithful show. It's like. It just like. It's. It's kind of like Summer House in the sense that it's like, it kind of exists on vibes, and it's a feeder system for, like, you know, it's the show that women can usually get their boyfriends or their husbands to watch on Bravo. And then they'll get enough courage to go to Summer House, and eventually, years later, they'll finally hit Real Housewives. Below Deck is that safe show that I can just watch people just, you know, enter the. Enter the kitchen, exit the kitchen, and that's a scene.

[Ryan Bailey]

It's like a. It's like bisexual porn is to a heterosexual swinger marriage that's, like, about to bloom. You know, you got to get the husband a little warmed up, and then he's in there. Then he's in there. Then the next couple of years, they're watching all the housewives. They're bent over the couch.

[Laura]

Did you really just reveal something so personal right now about your life? I was, hey, it's like those bisexual relationships where you got. You know how it is.

[Ryan Bailey]

Like, you know how it is. You gotta slowly turn em to get their keys in the bowl. Hey, listen, you gotta have a hobby. So below deck, down under. Here we go. How many people will say goodbye today? Let's watch. So we start with the tender being stuck on the beach. Oh, dun dun. This was a rough one because Nate's such a nice guy, you know, he's like, all I want is a wifey and 10 babies with blonde hair. Yeah, that's all I really need. And I've messed up this Tinder.

[Laura]

He was so flustered and frustrated, as I would imagine. I mean, if you have this job and then you get it stuck. And he already, you know, he's like, oh, Captain, Jason's potentially going to dress me down for this. Like, he had a real responsibility because the people on the boat were getting sick. The stabilizers weren't working as properly as they should. So people were hurling on the boat.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. And when that happened, he's like, well, you know, the stabilizers just do that in this kind of water. And that's just how it goes. That's how the stabilizers are. They don't work very well. Well, how discounted is this?

[Laura]

But also, should it be called stabilizers if it doesn't stabilize?

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, that sounds like it should have a different name for sure. Mikey Vomitalizers. Also, the guy who got this charter is named Win. No.

[Laura]

Oh, the charter account with that guy?

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, the main guy. He's like, my name's Wayne. No, it's me. I don't believe you. Okay, so it stuck because. And Jason's mad. And I like when Jason gets mad this season because for the most part, he's like, figure it out yourselves. They're like, me and Serena are about to kill each other. I don't care. Figure it out yourselves. I've got a Netflix in here.

[Laura]

All right, well, yeah, he was really addicted to those M and M's. That one episode. He's like, if I. If I open a bag, I can't stop. I can't stop if I make him sound like John Lennon, by the way, you guys. But like, I loved that he was addicted to a bag of M and Ms. At one point. And he's like, help yourself. Have one. You know, I'm going to keep eating them until the bag's gone.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, but you know what happens when, like, really healthy people start eating junk food? They turn into bitches. You see, because remember how he was with Marina and that was during his Eminem phase, and he's like, how dare you? I told you to stake suitcases up and you smarted off to me. You wanted to in your sleep when you. I was like, oh, my God, what happened to him? And then I realized it was the sugar. It was the sugar addiction.

[Laura]

It would be amazing if he got that Eminem addiction at the first episode. And by the 17th episode, we see that he's noticeably put on 30 pounds. He's like, I'm not moving right.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. I was sweating under me belly. Sweating under me belly. Never even knew that could happen. So, yeah, that was fun. So he got pissed. He's like, how could they get his stock? Huge mistake. I showed him how to navigate. I showed him the computer. I gave them a kimono to wear for a promotional shot on my Insta. How did I. And it turns out they just drove it too far onto the sand and it got stuck there.

[Laura]

Yeah. Like, I've never been on a yacht and I probably never will be, but I was like, that's what I see as the problem as well. You've driven it too far up.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. It seems obvious, but it's.

[Laura]

Yeah.

[Ryan Bailey]

You know, and then he finally comes to help them and he's like, huge fuck up huge. Or. Let me give you a listen. You gotta get waist deep in the water instead of driving to see how deep it is. Can't you see it with your eyes? And he did that. That snake eyes thing. Whereas I can't just sleep with your eyes.

[Laura]

I bet he's. What? He's one of those dudes, though, if he does talk closely to you, it is probably the most intense experience in real life. You know, like, if he talks close, he's always just. He's laser, like in his precision. Like, I think it's like really pretty easy going if you're watching it. But I bet in person it's. It's. It might be a little intimidating.

[Ryan Bailey]

It's intimidating. It's intimidating to. Because he ended that. He goes, can't you see it with your eyes? At least we gave him something to laugh at. Look at them standing on the shore, all laughing at you. It's like, damn. Oh, my God. It's like taking me back to kindergarten.

[Laura]

You're in the running for the disco ball helmet.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. Yeah. So you know, not a great ending. Oh, and he says that he's like, not a great ending. Guys, it's time for a commercial. It's time for a Grappens commercial.

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[Ryan Bailey]

Speaking of, let's check in on the boring couple. Bri. Harry taking their. Oh, my God.

[Laura]

We're like, executive privileged. Harry's. Like, I felt a nipple last night for the first time.

[Ryan Bailey]

We're basically married now. So we get to this thing that I hate most on these shows where they're like, oh, my God, let's have the guests play with the. The clean people.

[Laura]

Are you talking about the treasure hunt?

[Ryan Bailey]

Yes, the pirate treasure hunt thing.

[Laura]

Yeah.

[Ryan Bailey]

Which at least it wasn't an Olympics. That's what I really hate the most.

[Laura]

If you had the opportunity, wouldn't you just want to drink and eat and maybe jump into the water? Like, if I had to do a treasure hunt, I would be so bummed out. Like, and they're like. They're all in pirate outfits and everybody's in their costuming. Like, who's. I mean, is there a group of people out there that'd be like. That made the treasure. That really made the difference.

[Ryan Bailey]

Exactly. And they do it every time. If I was in a really nice hotel and there was a knock at my door and it was the cleaning ladies, like, okay, come outside. We're gonna have an Olympics race. You against the maids. I'd be like, get the fuck outta here. It's the water.

[Laura]

It's the water version of a rage room or a murder mystery party on these shows. Like, when they have to go. And I'm like, no, just tell me what you guys are feeling and what the fight is. I don't need to know. I don't. I don't need to see you guys smashing things with a bat. Like, I'm grown up enough to, like, let's just talk. Let's just find out what's going on with you guys.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, yeah. Just say, like, how are you doing? How's business, Win? Hey, Win. Where'd that name come from? It's not really your name. Why are you making up names for yourself, Win? So people get back to the boat, et cetera. Someone had to stay with the tinder. And so Nate, the bosun decides he's going to stay with the tender. If you know you're going to be out somewhere in the middle of the ocean. Well, it's not the middle, but you know what I mean. You're not going to be on deck. Why are you letting the boatswain stay out there chain smoking, doing nothing? Isn't he kind of important?

[Laura]

Yeah. And he. And he was so. And you could tell he was just, like, huffing and puffing for four hours. It Seemed like also, like, yeah. Did you. Also that one part where Alicia thought Nate looked hot in the pirate outfit. Like, so he's in the pirate outfit. Like, he did. He screwed up the Tinder, but he's also. Alicia is, like, playing games with my boy Nick. Nate.

[Ryan Bailey]

He.

[Laura]

She was like, oh, it looks really hot right now.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. Yeah. I think this is a spoiler alert. I'm sorry for everybody waiting for this at the end, but it's happening now when Lisa is like, yeah, you know, I really like him. You know, our vibes haven't changed. He's a wonderful guy, but I'm really in love with my profession of cheffery, so I just. I just don't have room in my heart for both. What the fuck?

[Laura]

It's intense doing what she does. You've got to commit fully. You have to fully decide you want to commit to the life of yachting and the job that she's training for, and you can't. You can't. You don't have time for love, don't you?

[Ryan Bailey]

I mean, I think every chef I've ever known. Facts. You really committed to that. I was like, is that true?

[Laura]

No, No. I know.

[Ryan Bailey]

Like, how can that girl learn to shiff a if she's out there worrying about penises?

[Laura]

No, the lie. The. The truth was he just st. She didn't want to hear things like smoochies and stuff like that. That.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah.

[Laura]

He kept saying weird.

[Ryan Bailey]

Do you think that happens when people become parents where you're like, oh, God, yeah, I'm with a man. I'm with this man. And then you have a baby. He's like, gucci boi, Little bo. Did we make a little po po? And you're just like, oh, my.

[Laura]

I lost. I lost my lust for you because of how you treated our child. Making baby faces.

[Ryan Bailey]

You were too cutesy with our child. Alicia can never have children with a man. She's going to be like, oh, oh, you want to give daddy a smoochie before, but. Oh, that's disgusting. Ick.

[Laura]

I've got to go learn my craft more now.

[Ryan Bailey]

She said she was learning a shiver on. She was banging other guys at the bar also.

[Laura]

I love. I love how Nate, like, everybody was like, oh, he said he's going to cry really hard. He's so emotional. But Nate seemed like he was like, yeah, it's okay. Like, he seemed okay with her being, like, not into him all the time.

[Ryan Bailey]

Well, I think Nate has had a lot of experience of being dumped. Didn't it Seem like that.

[Laura]

Yeah. Where he's put, like a. He's put a happy smile on no matter what. Like, he's a tragic clown.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, he's used to it. And when he left with all that backpacking gear, you know, like, he carries in, he's just one of those guys he's. Wanna hug this morning? You know, I think that everyone thinks those guys are so cute. And then they wake up next to one and they're like, why are you kind of smelly still? Did you take a shower yesterday? And they're gonna. Sun's almost up in an hour. We better get hiking. Get the fuck out of my house, sir.

[Laura]

He's a wanderer. He's a guy that's familiar with the phrase walkabout. He's like, go to the walkabout.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. So I think he's used to being left. So let's see. So he stays with a tender. And then we get our first real land animal montage. So I think we should bring in the fish report, the fish report, the fish report, the fish report. All right, Ryan, So this is where we judge fish. Now, we've judged a lot of these fish already, so I took out some of the copies because I'm sick of looking at their same dresses. So we're gonna mix in some of the other animals today. Let's see what we've got. First. We've got this turtle. This is the biggest attention hog of the season.

[Laura]

This turtle is that Sheena cornet. That's a beautiful.

[Ryan Bailey]

I can hang a TV in under seven min. And then you're like, okay, I'm free of that thirsty turtle. They finally gave it its last scene. And then look what we get again. The turtle. Again the turtle's like, hey, everybody, I don't like Lisa Vanderpump. Now, please follow me.

[Laura]

Oh, good as gold. Because they're good as.

[Ryan Bailey]

I was giving you the rest.

[Laura]

Oh, sorry. No, I was waiting for that. I'm sure the audience is singing along, so I was letting the audience.

[Ryan Bailey]

I thought you were doing the good. So then we get to this. We talk about the stingrays a lot. I just think that this one is. The dots are so well proportioned on this one.

[Laura]

Oh, you know, the CGI in this is amazing. The dots are. I mean, this is Avatar level. I mean, it really is a beauty to. I mean, do you think they get. It's like, is this second unit that films this stuff? Like, are they like, holy. I got an amazing stingray this morning. Because it is.

[Ryan Bailey]

I think it is I think they have real cinematographers who just have this job and they take themselves very seriously. Probably they're like, hello, what have. Let's discuss our shots for the day. Let's get a storyboard up there. What is the stingray feeling today?

[Laura]

Or is it just like, oh, my God, guys, I've got. I've got my eye on a turtle right now. I whip my camera out as quick as I could. I've got the turtle, I've got the sea turtle.

[Ryan Bailey]

It.

[Laura]

It. Guys, it's glorious. This is like Twister.

[Ryan Bailey]

Helen Hunt's like running, running to the tender. So get me over there stat.

[Laura]

There's a Bill Paxton on the second unit filming, like, conditions are poor, but we will get the shot, sir.

[Ryan Bailey]

All right. We do see a stingray. We did. No, not that stingray. The one with a perfect heart shaped ass. Where are you?

[Laura]

I told Ronnie, I said, listen, I love these interstitials so much. They need them on other Bravo shows. Like, if you were watching the Valley and all of a sudden they just started like doing like an aquarium with like fish. You would just like every time there's an intense, like, Jax Britney scene and then all of a sudden you see like a land shark and beautiful, like, you know, just fish in the ocean. I think it would really calm the show down.

[Ryan Bailey]

I think that would work. Except instead of fish, I think it should be like the locals to that show, right? So the fish are the locals to this show. So on that one it would be like, okay, everything's going on. And it would be like a study of like tent city under the freeway. Just like the gorgeous pattern tent. Or like Angeline, you know, Angeline getting T shirts out of her pink car.

[Laura]

On the Valley interstitials was just Angeline shots of like people parking next to her. Like, you always end up parking next to Angeline in like Ralph's grocery store. And by the way, I one time, Angela is quick. Angelina is like an icon. If you don't know who she is, you've seen her before in some point or some image, but she was at the future.

[Ryan Bailey]

Erika Jane, for those of you who don't know, she married some billionaire to dude or millionaire. I don't know back then what it, what it was. And she just, she wasn't really famous and she wanted to be. So she had him buy billboards of her all over town that just said Angeline. And then she's like, looks like Erica Jane. And she would just be.

[Laura]

And she drives a pink. She drives a pink Corvette everywhere. And she's very mysterious. She's much, much older now, but she was at, like, this show at UCB years and years ago. And you could, like, enter to, like, win to drive around with Angeline. And I put my name in, and I got a call a couple days later saying that I won. And then I realized that everybody wins because, like, you know, you can take this drive with Angeline, but then you have to buy merch from her, and you have to buy over, like, $150 of merch. And I was like, oh, so. And I was like, wow. But by the way, that is kind of what I feel like future reality stars that will eventually go off of Bravo. They will end up taking you on rides in their car through Los Angeles trying to sell you merchandise.

[Ryan Bailey]

If I had people who wanted to do it, I'd do it tomorrow. I'd do it right now.

[Laura]

Ronnie, so many. Oh, my God. You could sell rides on your best, but you could sell rides on your Vespa tomorrow. People be like, I'm riding with Ronnie Caram on a Vespa today.

[Ryan Bailey]

Oh, my God, Angeline. One time I saw her out, I was out with a girlfriend of mine, and she's like, oh, my God, it's Angelyne. And I said, really? Angeline? She's like, yeah, I want to go say hi. I was like, all right. So we go over, and she's like, oh, my God, Angeline, I love you. Would you sign my. I have a piece of paper in my pocket. She goes, no, but if you got 20 bucks, I'll sign it.

[Laura]

Yep. Yes. That. I took a picture with Angeline, and it cost me 20 bucks.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. My friend was crushed. She was like, I can't believe Angeline.

[Laura]

I can't believe she's in it for the money.

[Ryan Bailey]

I can't believe she's in it for the money. I can't believe a woman who just bought billboards of herself all over town is only in it for the money.

[Laura]

Well, we've made the valley less dark. We're bringing Angeline on for interstitials.

[Ryan Bailey]

Angeline should join the Valley.

[Laura]

Oh, my goodness. Brittany needs somebody to talk to, start doing stunt casting. And Brittany's like, he's just so mean to me. And she's just like, give me $20, and I'll talk.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, I'll give you advice if you give me $20 on you. All right, so that is the Stingray. And then we go to.

[Laura]

Sorry, guys. My bad.

[Ryan Bailey]

No, don't be sorry. Listen, it's finale we can talk about whatever we want. Nothing. There's some Laura and Serena stuff. That's all anybody's here.

[Laura]

Well, there's the whole dish debacle. I mean, the plating situation. I was almost having a heart attack during.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, that's bad. So I just wanted to show you this fish. What do you think of this fish outfit?

[Laura]

I love is this like. This is like going. This fish is like going to the sphere to see the dead. This is amazing.

[Ryan Bailey]

This is. This fish is on drugs for sure. And just mixing and matching all sorts of patterns and face makeup.

[Laura]

Like, I know I'm like really cold hearted and I've turned that way through talking about Bravo for these last five years. But this actually is beautiful, Ronnie. Like, if you really look at this, this, I. I think this is a beautiful fish.

[Ryan Bailey]

This is a pretty fish. I think that this fish has too much attitude and I really would have appreciated some more. They're like, well, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna match on purpose cuz I'm rich. You know how rich people dress. They're like, I'm dressed stupid on purpose. And I'm like, you can tell the.

[Laura]

Fish the fish has rich parents. You can tell for sure.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. This is a fish of privilege, so I resent it. Okay, so let's go to this next one. Okay. This is a land animal because we've run out of fish we haven't talked about. This is just a little squawky bird that's acting like it's about to die, but it was the one who chose to land on a boy, so.

[Laura]

Wow. Do you think they realized. Do they sign a release this bird? Is there an NDA at all?

[Ryan Bailey]

This is a thirsty bird.

[Laura]

They tell their other friends, like, oh, my God, I'm on the season finale of Below Deck. If you can catch it, it's on Peacock as well.

[Ryan Bailey]

Well, it's on their Facebook.

[Laura]

You guys.

[Ryan Bailey]

I know I haven't said anything in a while, but I'm still here. And this weekend you can get. This week you can catch me on the low deck down on the.

[Laura]

You guys, I can't say what happened today, but something crazy. I will be updating my socials, but let's just say you might be seeing me on the screen very soon. That's all I can say.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised that animals are that thirsty like humans now and just like befriend Sheena and move to their town so they can eventually get on their show. This is like the Janet of Birds. Like, look at this bird.

[Laura]

The Secret lives of Mormon birds.

[Ryan Bailey]

Because look how dramatic it's being. It's like, I'm going to land on the boy and then scream and cry that I'm starving and no one's feeding. That's what it's.

[Laura]

Yeah. By the way, the bird is screaming, trying to get a line. Like, I have a line.

[Ryan Bailey]

Line. Slu Am line. There's no business like show business.

[Laura]

By the way, please come to my cabaret. I'll be doing it next week. Can we talk about my cabaret, please?

[Ryan Bailey]

I love, love her dance. She's like, I gotta keep working out, Jeff, because I do cabaret.

[Laura]

Girl, Sonia does cabaret. She doesn't have to work out.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, Sonia does work out. Okay, so let's see. So then we get a bat. Okay. What do you think of bats? Look at this bat. How cute it is.

[Laura]

I. Yeah. I mean, listen, I'm a huge Batman fan. That's not even a joke. I just actually am. It's like, the one straight thing about me and. But yeah, the bat looks majestic. I love. Like, the bat looks like it's wearing a leather jacket. Like, their wings are awesome.

[Ryan Bailey]

And look, it's grooming itself. Like, we catch it. Grooming. It's like, when am I not grooming myself? Try and get a shot of me not not grooming myself. That's why I'm fucking fabulous.

[Laura]

Maybe you should be taking care of yourself.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, take note. Take note, bitch. But, yeah, the leather jacket looks so good on it. It's so well maintained. The coloring on the hair. The hair looks so clean. I mean, I always thought bats were, like, dirty and, like, crusty, but not this one. It's, like, fuzzy and cute. Just.

[Laura]

You can tell. You can tell. This bat saw Chaz Dean. The hair is so majestic.

[Ryan Bailey]

Speaking of West Hollywood billboards, it's like, yeah, Angeline.

[Laura]

And Chad is Chaz Dean, the male version of Angeline.

[Ryan Bailey]

This bat is going to sue later. Like, hey, wait a minute. That shampoo really did something to me. Like, wait a minute, bat.

[Laura]

When will this go down? I have way too. I look like Wes Wilson on Summer House West.

[Ryan Bailey]

Wishes. Oh, also, what are these? I didn't know bats had five fingers. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

[Laura]

Wow.

[Ryan Bailey]

I didn't know that about bats, did you?

[Laura]

No, I had no. I had no clue. This is huge.

[Ryan Bailey]

That's impressive. And also goal weight. I've always wanted to just hang upside down like that. I couldn't do it.

[Laura]

Oh, my God, I can't. I wish I could hang upside down. Have you? I've never been able to do a pull up in my life.

[Ryan Bailey]

No, I've never done a pull up. And you know, I used to back in the day, you know, because I'm like sometimes £400 and sometimes £190.

[Laura]

Same. I'm the. I. I always saw. I'm the Luther Van Dangerous in podcasting.

[Ryan Bailey]

I really am too. I've lost and gained. So when we first started this, I over, over the years gained like 250 pounds and then I lost it and then I gained it again and then now I lost like I'm crazy. So, yeah, I get the going up and down. So I used to do pull ups and then I just bought a pull up bar again. Girl, I cannot do one pull up. Not even a partial.

[Laura]

Wait, you went as far as to buy a pull up bar?

[Ryan Bailey]

Are. Yeah.

[Laura]

Like you, you believed in yourself that much that you're like, I will. I'm gonna do this.

[Ryan Bailey]

Like you used to do that. I used to. I got up to 20 a day.

[Laura]

Oh my God. Ronnie. What are you.

[Ryan Bailey]

Are you.

[Laura]

Are you juicing?

[Ryan Bailey]

No. No. Oh my God, I wish. Vodka. Just Tito's, Tito's and pull ups. No, I can't do that.

[Laura]

He's doing anabolic Tito's.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, I can't do them. I'm just hanging my like latest old navies on there, that's all.

[Laura]

Oh, dude, my. My legs are like tree trunks and it's like the heaviest part of my body. Body. So like, if I just. If I could cut myself off at the waist, I know I would be able to do a pull up. It's the legs. They weigh me down completely. It's like, it's. Yeah.

[Ryan Bailey]

Anyways, they say you just have to keep pulling, and I do. It's just not the bar. Okay, so then we have this little. We've got this little crab thing. I feel like crabs get more attention than they should. Do you think it's because they can walk sideways?

[Laura]

Yeah, I mean, Ronnie, I'm going to say I do think it's because they can walk sideways. Like, it's a huge feature that not a lot of I think animals have have. It's a. It's a show off move and I think it works for crabs. And also they're delicious and I think they get a lot of attention for that.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, but do they ever walk front ways or do they only walk sideways? Because I only see them walking sideways.

[Laura]

Look, this, by the way, this is when you really miss the presence of Ben, because I think Ben would really know this.

[Ryan Bailey]

Really? Yeah. Ben probably would know this. He'd know what college that thing went to. He'd be like, that. That crab went to Dartmouth. I know that graph. Okay, so let's. Hi, Ben. Ben's not listening to this. This is the look Ben gave me right now after saying that this bird just looked right at the camera like, what the fuck?

[Laura]

I'm never traveling again.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. I travel one time, and you make a Dartmouth joke to a crab. So I don't know what kind of fish this is, but I love an attitude bird.

[Laura]

Yeah. I mean, all that. If you have that kind of. The bird neck, if you had that kind of elongated neck, you could do so many cool, just attitude moves with it. And I think this bird is showing that it is.

[Ryan Bailey]

Look at the neck. It's like rolling its neck. Look.

[Laura]

I love that you guys feature this, because in some ways, it's more exciting than certain cast members on this show.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yes. This is basically every look that Lara gives to Serena in this episode.

[Laura]

Dude, I told you. I watched all the episodes. I was like, lara, what is going on? Didn't you guys just have Serena on?

[Ryan Bailey]

We did. Serena came on last week and spilled a little bit on this whole situation. This just sounds like a nightmare dealing with that. Dealing with that person. So then, look, here we have a turtle. Oh, this turtle is so gorgeous. I love this turtle's eyes. This is the hottest turtle we've had on here.

[Laura]

Oh, so you're actually attracted to the turtle? Like, you think it's hot?

[Ryan Bailey]

No, not just. Not like, sexually, but it's like a hot turtle. Like, I think in the turtle world, this is a hot turtle. Like, look at the shape of the eyes. It looks like it has, like, the cat eyes, but they're just natural gorgeous.

[Laura]

Well, to me, I see a lot of wisdom here. I think this is a wise turtle. I mean, this is a turtle that's been around the block. People go to for advice, can really set you straight. But like, a turtle, a few words is what?

[Ryan Bailey]

Well, yeah. Well, yeah, it'll choke, but yeah. So then we go to. And I was eating. It's like, okay, you're looking at me. Let me eat dramatically. Yes.

[Laura]

Look at the power of my eating. Yes.

[Ryan Bailey]

So now we get to. Is this a basic goldfish?

[Laura]

What did they do? What, did they just sneak in some goldfish from Pet. Petco? They're just like.

[Ryan Bailey]

We, We.

[Laura]

We didn't have any more footage. We had to go to Petco and get some just things in aquariums.

[Ryan Bailey]

Helen Hunt didn't get here in time to catch a perfect stingray. So we got the little fish that we wanted. That child's birthday party a couple of weeks ago.

[Laura]

There's a little. But there's a little vibe of like a 2001 baby. You know, like the baby in utero. Like the coloring of it. There's.

[Ryan Bailey]

It's.

[Laura]

See, am I just right?

[Ryan Bailey]

No, I see what you're saying. Like it's not fully. The skin isn't fully formed yet.

[Laura]

Yeah. It feels not developed. Yeah, like this.

[Ryan Bailey]

Look, it's kicking against the womb right now. It's like, let me out of here. I fucking hate it in here. Stop drinking wine. I know you think I won't be able to tell people. I will. Remember this.

[Laura]

You don't have enough plates for a seven course dinner.

[Ryan Bailey]

What are you crazy? I love that it took us till the season finale to find out they don't have enough forks. All right, so that was the Fish report. Who's your favorite? We've got basic goldfish. We've got hot turtle. We've got Lara the bird. We've got sideways walking crab. We've got fabulous leather leathered bat. We've got squawky victim bird and rave fish and stingray. What say you?

[Laura]

Listen, this is going to sound like. Because it's bat. It's got to be bat.

[Ryan Bailey]

I think it's the bat, too. That's a fabulous bat. I love a well groomed, beautifully leathered bat. Congratulations, bat. You actually won the Fish Report and you're not even a fish.

[Laura]

Bravo. If you're listening, spin off for this bat. Come on, Lindsey Hubbard, this bat, we put them together. Ron, come on.

[Ryan Bailey]

Andy's like, I will not put Lindsay Hubbard on Real Housewives of New York, but I will put her on that bat show.

[Laura]

Yeah. John Hill. Did you see the bat on Below Deck? Amazing stuff they're doing over there.

[Ryan Bailey]

John Hill's like, yeah, I go to it. Okay, so here we go. Right now.

[Misha Brown]

Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From wonder and ill Media, I'm Misha Brown and this is the big flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails and blunders of all time. Like Quibi.

[Ryan Bailey]

It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to, like, get other people to do it.

[Misha Brown]

And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats.

[Ryan Bailey]

Like, if I'm watching the dancing and.

[Laura]

I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground.

[Ryan Bailey]

There's something wrong with the movie.

[Misha Brown]

Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy the Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the Big Flash Flop early and ad free on Wondery. Get started with your free [e-mail] plus.

[Unknown]

At 24 I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me, and the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define Reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to and and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Ryan Bailey]

So we go back to the boat, everybody. Okay, so Aussie is still stuck. Nate is still stuck on the beach. He's on the mountain of shunt. He just wants forgiveness. So now we're to the good part. Laura goes to the galley and she asks for the plan for dinner tonight. And she's like, well, how many courses are there? She's like, but they wanted seven courses. She's like, seven. That's tricky up top, you know. Oh really? Do you think it's tricky carrying up seven dishes? How do you think it is making fucking 49 dishes or whatever they're going to be making.

[Laura]

This, Laura. I mean, like, that I, I was shocked because the, the guest specifically said seven courses and the fact that this is even a conversation. And you're right, the fact that we're finding out on the last episode if you're worried about plates. I mean, we're, we're replacing deck members every couple of weeks. You don't think anybody can bring plates with them if that truly is an issue?

[Ryan Bailey]

Like, this was such crazy.

[Laura]

And Laura just wants to have a bug up her butt about Serena. Like she, even though they made up last episode, it is so glari obvious. I don't know. There's like a Jealousy slash hatred. And this does not need to exist at all. And the fact if she really cares about her job, it would be, yeah, of course we're doing seven courses. That's what they asked for. End of story. Like, make Serena go up and talk to the guests.

[Ryan Bailey]

This is crazy. So she says, yeah, it's tricky up top. You know, we've only got two sets of cutlery. Well, every course is at least. Every meal is at least three courses. So if you didn't have enough cutlery for even that, why didn't you order some? That's literally your job. I can't. And I'm just on cutlery. I haven't even gotten to the other parts. But, like, girl, you don't know how much. You don't have enough cutlery to do three courses.

[Laura]

We've never worked on a boat. And I know about the cutlery. I mean, like, I would know immediately. Like, Captain Jason, we're really looking at an issue here. Like, this is like Titanic level emergency. We're going to run out of forks.

[Ryan Bailey]

She's the one in charge of ordering for the restaurant supply. Get some more cutlery, for Christ's sake. Okay. So then she's like, well, you know, we don't have enough cutlery, so we'll have to wash it. I mean, did they specifically asked for seven? She's like, yeah, could you roll the clip? So they roll the clip of them all being there in the meeting, and seven courses was announced, and Laura does not say in front of Jason, that's going to be too difficult for us. She waits so she can try and pin it on Serena later. What?

[Laura]

This is so low level that I'm like, why? And also, you know, the cameras are on you. You know, you keep saying about, like, the. The customer is key, you know, like, X excellence in service, that this would be the thing, the hill that you want to die on. And the fact, like, you would almost be wanting the guests of, like, keep your silverware for each course. Just keep your silverware. Like, it's ridiculous. And Serena looked like she didn't like Serena. Like, took it like a champ. But she also was like, what the hell is going on here? Like, Laura just is not like Serena this season at all.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, I think Laura decided she wasn't going to make up a Serena. She didn't like that. So she's going to try and trigger Serena into, like, having some kind of breakdown and making her look stupid because she's like, well, I don't want to do seven courses. So why don't you go talk to him about it? So she's going to make her look stupid already because she's going to make the chef go tell the guests they can't have seven courses, which of course they're going to complain to the captain. And the captain's go, you know, it's glaringly obvious what she's trying to do. But instead of having a fit, Serena's like, okay, I'll go talk to the guests. I don't know how I'm going to get out of that. I don't want it to make it look like I'm lazy, but, I mean, I guess. And Laura's like, well, just tell him it's too much. Ask if seven is too many. I mean, do they really need seven? They hardly eat. So she's like, okay, well, so she goes down and she's smart because she shows Laura. And of course, Laura follows her down there to pretend she's drawing a fucking glass or something so she can eavesdrop. But she does it so that she looks like she's giving Laura her way, but then she's not really at all. She's like, so seven courses, wonderful. Would you like to have extra forks.

[Laura]

For that if you're, if you're a guest on this charter? Like, would you. You've already, you're, you're, you already saw like the, the tender get, like, you know, almost wrecked. The stabilizers are not stabilizing, people are throwing up. And then somebody literally asks you, you know, that thing you specified that you wanted specifically, what if we did not do that? Would you be okay with it? Like, it's just, to me, that's unheard of. Like, that's laugh.

[Ryan Bailey]

That's mind boggling. And Laura has had some decent points through the season. Like, I don't think she's always been wrong about every single thing, but this is kind of the worst look. And it's a horrible way to end the season for her because she has no leg to stand on now. Like, what a dumbass. Almost.

[Laura]

Captain Jason wasn't there for that scene. When he watches these back, do you think he's. Is he like, blimey, like, is he upset when he's like, I can't believe that happened on my watch.

[Ryan Bailey]

I think he knows what she's like because remember the last episode when he was like, all right, we should have a talk because you keep making the little comments. So obviously he's like, I'm not a fucking idiot, so just say what you have to say. So I think he knows who he's dealing with, and he's just like, whatever.

[Laura]

He's a Jedi.

[Ryan Bailey]

I just won't hire her again. I don't see her ever getting hired. Because sometimes it's fun when you have a personality that's like, you know, like, snarky and sarcastic. I mean, obviously, you've got Kate Chastain, the queen of the show show. So you've got her, and you've got, like, Hannah's, and people like that get away with it. Yeah, well, Asia's not really snarky, but, you know, you've got people who can kind of get away with that snarkiness, and this girl just can't because she also sucks.

[Laura]

I will say, though, Asia, through the years like this, like, Asia's developing a very fun snark. Like, a very. Like a really beautiful snark. Like, there is, like. It's a really. Like, it's a snark that everybody can appreciate, but it is definitely there. And it's like, I can't wait to see that crystallize over the next couple of years.

[Ryan Bailey]

Well, she's definitely not taking anybody's shit anymore, which is nice because she used to just be, oh, my God, are you mad at me? Mad at me? I'll do all the dishes. I'll clean them with my tongue. I'll clean them with my tongue. And now she's like, no, I don't want to do it. So, yeah. So we go back to Lara. Lara spying on Serena. And Serena's like, all right, you're going to have seven. And one of the ladies is like, well, is this going to be, like, all night if we do seven? So it sounds like she might get out of it. Serena could have been like, okay, well, we can do less. But instead, she was like, all right, well, why don't we just make smaller portions then for that? And I was like, yes, go get them. Go get them.

[Laura]

Awesome. I mean, listen, we could have doubled up some of that. Did you see that? I mean, the dish was beautiful, but the asparagus with the salmon.

[Ryan Bailey]

Asparagus. Yeah.

[Laura]

What? It was one big asparagus. You guys, like, come on. Like, we might be. Now I'm going to go the other way. We might be abusing plates that we have. Like, we are not using these plates to full effect. It was. And by the way, as a guest, I'd be upset. I'd be pissed. I'd be like, oh, is there going to be leftovers later? Because one asparagus and it looked beautiful. Like, it really looked like a well cooked asparagus. But still just one per plate. There's so much more geography on that plate not being used.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. Oh, don't forget the row. There was also.

[Laura]

Sorry.

[Ryan Bailey]

Fish eggs. Fish eggs on top of the asparagus. Yeah.

[Laura]

It was beautiful.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. Agreed. So she's talking to the guest. She. She's like, okay, well, we could do smaller portions. And she's like, and also, if you. I won't feel mad if you don't want to finish a dish. And also, if you've got a piece of silver and you don't like it, throw it on the ground. We'll wash it. Someone will wash it. Don't worry about that. So Laura's pissed now because she's kind of heard what's going on, and she's like, this woman is unhealthy. Unhinged. You're fucking unhinged. I cannot believe you. I cannot believe the goal of you. So she's like, well, this is the most difficult thing of the season. We don't have enough plates, which puts more pressure on me in my department. I'm gonna bite Serena's head off, then order more plates. You are just highlighting on how much you suck at your job at this point. I feel like before now everybody's been able to say, well, Laura does a pretty good job and she works. You're really highlighting that you kind of suck right now, ma' am.

[Laura]

And. And highlighting that, I think she is just, I mean, making Serena's life very, very difficult on purpose in some ways.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. Agreed. So now they've got to get dinner ready. Okay. And then one of the guests is like, wow, do you think. You guys think I could do this job? I don't know. This looks like a hard job. And his wife goes, honey, you have.

[Laura]

Gout, dude, I wrote that down. That was like the cuz. They didn't really focus on the passengers too much, but it was like, no, honey, you have gout. It was like the perfectly delivered line. It was truly. By the way, do. I mean, I do sometimes think, like, could I do any of. Could I even do the. The serving of the food? Like, what job would you be good at on below deck?

[Ryan Bailey]

Well, I've been a waiter for a long time, so I could do that one. And, I mean, I could probably learn some of the cleaning stuff. The cleaning stuff is harder than it looks, for sure. They have to, like, iron the sheets and shit.

[Ronnie Karam]

Do you.

[Laura]

Do you think they let you listen to, like, can you put, like, one AirPod in while you work. Like, that's what I keep. When I watch that show. I'm always like, could I listen to my audiobooks while I clean? Like, that's what.

[Ryan Bailey]

That's.

[Laura]

That's the stuff I think about watching these shows is like, oh, can I listen to a podcast while I clean? That would make it easier. I'm already trying to get out of ways that are trying to make it easier on me.

[Ryan Bailey]

I don't think there's any job now in current days where people don't listen to their music or something. I feel like even when you, like, call the bank, they're like, hello, hold on. Press 1 for Spanish, 2 for English, 3. If you think put non really did it. Okay, I'm just kidding. Okay, hold on a second.

[Laura]

Because, you know, Captain Sandy wouldn't let you have an AirPod in. She'd see that. She wouldn't want you to be having a good time like that.

[Ryan Bailey]

Well, you'd have to come to her with the right way. You'd have to be like, captain Sandy, I found this device that needs to be hugged. And I feel like my ear could hug it really well. If I just stuck it right in there, she'd be like, oh, my God, let your ear hug that thing.

[Laura]

She goes, 20 years ago, I'll tell you a story. I needed a hug, okay? I'll tell you that story. And it really changed my life. And now I'm here. So, of course, wear that AirPod. Wear it proudly. I love it.

[Ryan Bailey]

I was on a cruise, you know, we were doing a yacht trip through Iraq during Desert Storm, and the terrorists were trying to get on board, and I said, come here. I hugged every last one of them until they just jumped into the seat. By the way, that's what they needed.

[Laura]

I mean, diplomacy go out the window. Have you tried to hug them? Have you tried to hug these weirdos? Have you? Because that's what they needed. We're friends to this day. They call me Sandy. They don't even make them call me captain.

[Ryan Bailey]

They're not even called terrorists anymore. Now they're called huggerists.

[Laura]

They're called friends. That's what they're called. They're called friends.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, they still wear vests, but their vests are made of hugs.

[Laura]

Oh, yeah. No, I mean, on the street, they call it a suicide vest, but no, it's. It's a hug vest. That's what it is.

[Ryan Bailey]

It's a hug aside. So this poor Nate is still stuck on the beach, which is Hilarious.

[Laura]

They do keep cutting to him, like, looking frustrated. Then you can see that his skin's getting redder. Like, it's just like the sun's really setting in.

[Ryan Bailey]

And finally some really nice random guys are like, your boat looks stuck. And he's like, yeah, it stuck, mate. And they're like, all right, we'll do it. And so these big hot men just get out and push the boat out. It.

[Laura]

It was very Zoolander for a second because then I would. That part of me was like, are they going to, like. I was like hoping that they were going to steal the tinder of like, we. We've got it, we've got it.

[Ryan Bailey]

And then just, we are.

[Laura]

And then because I was like, this can't be the season finale. Fighting over plates. I was like, there's got to be something more. Like, like, I kept looking for a storyline that just wasn't going to exist.

[Ryan Bailey]

If they rode that 10, if they drove that away, I would root for them. Because honestly, like you, you come to some dumbass who's gotten stuck in the sand like, yeah, I'm taking your tender mate. Sorry, buddy. All right. So Nate comes back and Jason's being very sturdy and he's like, oh, I'm just. Listen, I'm so sorry. And he's like, that could have been hell to pay. He's like, I'm just bashful. My mistake. Want a smoochies? And he's like, you bounce back, but it only happens once. You'll never feel so stupid again. I hope you never forget how they laughed at you on that beach. Now take some pictures in this kimono for my Insta. Come on, I'll take you. He was.

[Laura]

I thought he was gonna get nasty. And he was like, you learn something, something. You did it. You learned you'll never do it again. I love you. Like, it was so. I was like, okay, I like that. But I feel like they do respect Captain Jason, but I just. I would like to see him like, lose it. Lose it.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah, he was kind of hands off for most of the season, but then when he does need to come in, he's like, you're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired as well. Everybody leave. All right, good luck, everybody.

[Laura]

Yeah, he got upset when that jet ski caps up. He's like, this is a twenty thousand dollar jet ski.

[Ryan Bailey]

But he still didn't even give that guy who put out the leaky jet ski. He didn't even give that guy the. The disco helmet. I'm never going to forgive Captain J. You know, I hold on to petty things, but I'm like, how did you not give Vihan the disco helmet?

[Laura]

The disco helmet? What a. Like what? I mean, just ruling this disco helmet over everybody's heads like this and people get real. Like, people live or die over this disco helmet. Like, I mean, the lore of the disco helmet and the fact that it is such a big deal. I loved it.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. This. It's a huge thing here. Oh, my God. How it traumatized Lara last week and then she didn't even wear it. She never wore the disco helmet and she never got called out on it either. You know, there are certain things I need to be fixed on this show. Like call her out.

[Laura]

And by the way, that's just. I mean, to jump ahead. Serena gets the disco helmet and she loves it. She's been asking for it all season. And that's the difference between Serena and Laura is that Serena is wearing it proudly. She wants the disco helmet where Laura thinks it's like an assault on her character.

[Ryan Bailey]

Yeah. A sense of humor about yourself, people. Come on. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[Laura]

Watch.

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[Ryan Bailey]

Always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo she ain't no shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.