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Ben
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Ben
Who cares what happens when there's so.
Ronnie
Much.
Ben
Feature who cares what happens when there's so much that happens. Hi everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. So Fraser alerts everyone, including the chef, that the primary likes to steak extra well done, burned, absolutely no pink at all because the primary is joyless. That's what we we're finding out about this guy. The black light and the the burned to a crisp steak. Why are you even eating steak? There's just nothing at that point.
Ronnie
All the germs out of it. I'm sure.
Ben
I know, but why even eat it? There's going to be nothing left to.
Ronnie
You're eating dead, rotting flesh.
Ben
Yeah.
Ronnie
You'll be okay. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So Fraser is like, oh God, they're really going to test us. So day two and the guests would like to have a Bollywood themed dinner. So if nothing goes right today, blame Barbie. All right, have we got this all down?
Ben
All right, so day three, we're coming back and we're going through the this lovely bridge. I'm going to hit it one day, so just be prepared. I'm ready to take on Captain Jason's disco helmet for it in advance.
Ronnie
So Fraser holds on to the girls and he's like, all right. What I've always said the first charter isn't easy. Neither is any charter, because chartering is hell. Do you understand? All right. Now, the first charter. Barbara, you'll be waking up at 6. Rainbow, you will be doing lates. Also, I'd appreciate you fixing the spelling of your name because you're quite dower, right?
Ben
Barbara, since you already have bedhead, you'll be waking up early. Rainbow, since you. Since it seems like I might taught you to be called Rainbow, but to be. But to be around at night, you'll be on lates. And now everyone go back to the crew mess. Okay? If that's okay with you. And like. Okay, sure. So then Barbara wants to talk to Fraser about. About Solane. And she's like, you know, I promise I'm not picky, even though it's the first half of the first day and I already have something to tell you. But Solene, she's already really annoying me.
Ronnie
I mean, like, I was showing her how to fold a towel and, you know, like, that role just the way she says. Did Frazier say to do this? Like, yes. Like, she's not believing that I'm telling her what you're telling me to tell her. You know, like, I'm very easy. You know, like I'm an open. She says something like, I'm an open book. I'm very easy until the second page. I love that. I'm very easy until the second page. And he's like, I mean, here's what we do. You've got to be like, me. Don't ever read past the first page.
Ben
Stay on an open book. I'm an open book, but only my first page is accessible. Everything after that is gobbledygook.
Ronnie
And it's like, all right, well, you know, I'm gonna test and look and see how things are going. But, you know, look, I've got to already console the chef, so let's just be. Try to be positive, you know what I'm saying? Because I can tell you right now, she's way more interesting on television than you are so far. Just deal with her.
Ben
So KL is also assigning roles about what time people are gonna wake up, et cetera, et cetera. And Demo is talking to K about how he's been working and stuff. And Kazakh, well, the girl I met last year, I tried to make it work where I was like a lost fucking puppy. Do you know what I mean? I was just. Just fucking went for it, you know, it's like a lot Happened to me and Barbie after St. David. When I got to Miami, we linked up and had a beautiful relationship. And I think part of me still does love that girl, but I think we're very different people. She's rich, I'm poor, her dad works for Coca Cola, my mother works for an oats company. And at our core, we don't connect. I'm single, I'm free, I'm looking.
Ronnie
Her mother kept asking me what the best way to drain my balls was, and it was just uncomfortable. By the end of that relationship, I had diabetes because they just fed me so much Coca Cola. Thank. There's only so much a man can take. Remember Cuz her mom, sex therapist, he's like, yeah, my mom talks all about sex therapy with me.
Ben
I remember when we broke up, Barbie said, I'm a cook and you're a zero, so go.
Ronnie
So Carrie is giving KO everybody's resumes to look over, and he thinks everything's going to be great and epaulettes are handed over and he needs to work out who's going to be the lead deckhand and all that stuff. And so then we go to Solain and Barbara and they're figuring out closets in their room. So Solene's like, oh, so you want to take like that closet and I take this closet. And she goes, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's two closets, they're the same size. So I'll take this one. You take that. Just. No, yours is bigger. But of course I can take. I'm only working on 19, 000 bots. So.
Ben
At once. Two boats at once. But that's okay. You take the bigger closet. Of course. She's like, no, it's not the bigger closet. It's the bigger closet.
Ronnie
Frazier told me that.
Ben
Did he? No, but I want to say that. Oh, really? No.
Ronnie
And then we get Dahmo and he's like, I'm a massive flirt. I mean, these girls are just so hot. I've definitely got Peter Pan syndrome. Well, your genes don't, so get the fuck over it.
Ben
Really? You're a decky who has Peter Pan syndrome. I never, I've never seen this before. It's not like you're working on boats to get away from doing having actual real responsibilities on land. This is a, this is a breakthrough in terms of decky Personas.
Ronnie
Yeah. Like, it's great that your personality feels 20. Your face does not. Okay, get some sunblock and date an adult. Thank you.
Ben
Why does he look like he's from like a 1990s Mountain Dew commercial. That's my question.
Ronnie
He looks like an exports person who's just never realized what, like, I don't know, snowboarding in the sun was going to do to him.
Ben
You know, it's like if launch of Launchpad McQuack became an actual human, I thought it would be.
Ronnie
He does have that vibe. Yeah. So now Fraser goes to talk to the captain and he's like, oh, well, listen, I love my team. They seem brilliant. And by brilliant, I mean idiots, morons, all of them. Silane has 22 days experience yachting in a shipyard.
Ben
A shipyard, it turns out her primary responsibility was to bring espresso martinis from a bar on the dock onto boats and hand them to people and then walk off of them. Why is she on my team? Well, let's look at their resumes then. So they look and they see that Rainbow is. Has like a lot of experience. So she's gonna wind up being the second. Second too. So then Carrie is checking on Lawrence. It's like, how's it going today? You know, the first day is gonna be frantic and the next trip is gonna be less frantic, and then the third trip, frantic again. Then the fourth trip, even worse. The fifth trip, surprisingly easy. Sixth trip, the worst thing you ever had in your life. Seven trip. You're one jump off the boat and.
Ronnie
Lawrence is like, oh, God, I'm fine. Everything's gonna be fine. Psalm 19, 2. All right, save it, save it. So Fraser is telling Celine to do toilets and then cabins. And he's like, toilet should take no more than 10 minutes. I don't want you. I don't want you cleaning one longer than you're sitting in one. Do you understand?
Ben
It's like, okay. And then Barbara's like, well, what do you want? What are we gonna do now? She's like, well, I have to do three toilets, so I don't finish one. And the version said 10 minutes, and then it's 10 minutes and I don't start. So I'm taking for the toilets and like, do I have to clean the poop out of the toilets too? Does that even the poop too? Do I have to do everything in the toilet for 10 minutes?
Ronnie
And she's like, oh, just get the rags. Just because you bring everything with you. And she goes, oh, my God, I don't know where the product, where's the product? Why? Why is it? She's like, it's here in the cabinet, right? And you need this to clean the inside of the toilet. Do you know you know you have to brush, right? She goes, oh, really? In ten minutes it's already finished. I don't start. Ten minutes is over. Where's the toilet? Nothing.
Ben
But if you don't stop talking, I cannot explain. And then you longer. You have to stop talking.
Ronnie
Not the children.
Ben
But what about the mirror? Did you do the mirror? Okay, well, of course you didn't do the mirror. Okay, brush for the toilet, rag for the mirror. Okay.
Ronnie
Oh, no. Okay, but with it, the toilet cleaner. No, in the evening I clean the.
Ben
Use the vinegar. Use the vinegar.
Ronnie
No, it's not for clean.
Ben
No, no vinegar. No. Alcohol and vinegar, not the same thing. Vinegar.
Ronnie
Vinegar is in the kitchen by the olive oil.
Ben
That is not the same vinegar. This is bathroom vinegar.
Ronnie
Not the same one. No, that's okay.
Ben
That's peanut butter. Peanut butter is not for mirror. Peanut butter not for mirror. She's literally looking. She's like, vinegar next to olive oil. Oh my God.
Ronnie
And then she tells us. She's like, I have a lot of pressure inside. Like, I'm not stupid, I'm just new. I try to be the best sponge I can be, but I'm over every water everywhere in my sponge. The sponge is water everywhere.
Ben
Too much water in the sponge. Can't absorb more.
Ronnie
Oh gosh, I was dying laughing. That was so good. So Jess Akayo is complimenting Jess because she's a manager and she seems to be great. So she's going to be lead backhand. So she's like, means a lot to me. And then Fraser is meeting with Carrie again and they're talking about how, you know, the guys arrive. Yeah, we need somebody to, like, be with the guest because it's going to. We want them to see a stew. Who's going to be best at that? And he's like, she's a moron. But she'll probably give people lap dances and make them laugh. So let's go with her.
Ben
My only concern is she might serve them glasses of vinegar instead of champagne, but we'll just keep an eye on it.
Ronnie
She's just learned what vinegar does and she's adorable.
Ben
Unfortunately, she was trying to clean the mirrors in the bathroom with red wine vinegar and I had to correct her, but, you know, she'll get there. So then he meets with the girls and he said he basically makes Rainbow second Stewart. And Rainbow is so excited. She's like, I mean, obviously you can't be like, woohoo, let's go. Like, yes. Like, yes. You know, like woohoo. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But like, really? I'm like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm like, really? Because you didn't really hide your excitement for too well when you were sitting there.
Ronnie
Yes. So she's gonna be the. The main lady, and then Carrie is going around doing his anal checking thing with people, which is so funny. He's like, all right, let's. Let's walk around and do chicks, Fraser. All right, let's see here. First impressions. Can't have the boat looking like a dog's break fist. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Lift that towel, Move that sink. Dim the lights. Move that rug over. Why is the toilet paper not folded into a swan flying over a river?
Ben
Can someone get that bottle of balsamic out of the bathroom?
Ronnie
Why does this mirror have lipstick on it that says I'm not.
Ben
Then it says Bizu on the next mirror. So confused. So Carrie then goes off within the tender with Solene, and they meet with the guests, and the guests have. There's like. There's like two children who are actually seem. They seem like perfectly fine children. It's shocking, but, like, two lovely children. And so then it's like, I don't understand baby people. They can be so cute, but not too close for me. And then we see her, like, meeting the child and she's like, sticking out her hand, like, nice to meet you.
Ronnie
Disgusting.
Ben
We have vinegar for hand.
Ronnie
So now they get the tour, they come to the boat, they get the tour, and the dad's like, my lights are in my bag. Specifically check the bathrooms, honey. Did you bring Clorox? We've got to clean this disgusting boat with normal people.
Ben
He's doing a sweep. Like, he's literally preparing it for the president of a nation. So Fraser is like, listen, this boat has seen some pretty disgusting scenes, so let's just hope and pray he doesn't find anything too gross. I'm like, celine was cleaning this room. I guarantee she'll find something gross. I cannot believe she was comprehensive.
Ronnie
Like, wait a minute, I was expecting germs, but not a ham sandwich. That's a little weird.
Ben
Oh, that. You found my sponge.
Ronnie
So we get to see it. And the daughter is like, oh, dad, we need to get out our black light. And goes, yeah, where is the black light? She goes, mine's in my bathroom bag. And he's like, grab the black lights, honey, we need it. So now, generations.
Ben
Black, black trauma. They're all do. Like. I was like, it's. First I thought it was just gonna be the dad with the black light. But he's actually trained his children to go everywhere with the black light, too. This is terrible. These people need to be stopped.
Ronnie
And look, I know that, you know, we stay in a lot of hotels. I don't think there's anything wrong with going in with a few Clorox wipes from your bag and just kind of making sure, you know, you guys stay safe or whatever, but there is something about making it. Your whole personality, like everybody besides me is disgusting. So. Yes, fix this before I enter. It's just.
Ben
Yeah. Sometimes you got to take on some germs, too, you know? Sometimes it's going to toughen up your system, you know?
Ronnie
Yeah. One day, I'd like to show people like this how they were made. Okay, sir, this is a pile of spooge. Okay. Mm.
Ben
Yeah.
Ronnie
That was you. Be quiet.
Ben
That was you. That was you. Well, I hope they're wearing masks on an airplane, because, you know, these people probably aren't. They're going to make everything clean. Everyone, Everything else. And then they're not going to wear a mask on an airplane when they're the ones probably sp. Spreading all the germs in the first place.
Ronnie
Okay, so then we go to Fun snacks. Fun snacks. And they're like, wow, if it's snacks like this, let's do dinner at 6:30. Gosh.
Ben
So I would have been. By the way, I would have been so mad because it was like, little canapes and, you know, like this. The daughter is like, oh, my God, I'm gonna be so full. We don't have to have lunch. We could just have dinner. And I'm like, don't take away my meal. Don't take away lunch. Because you had three canapes and you're, like, deranged. No, I would have been furious.
Ronnie
Yeah, we paid money for this with your GLP1 ass. Get out of here. You don't speak for me.
Ben
Yeah, don't speak for me. I want my lunch. Okay?
Ronnie
Yeah. And I'm on a GLP1, and I still want my goddamn lunch. I should have the right to sit there and ignore it with everybody.
Ben
There are those people. There are those people, though, who will just, like, make a call for everyone and be like, this will be enough for me. We don't need to have lunch. I'm like, yeah, give me a sandwich.
Ronnie
Yeah. She's a black light person. That's what they do. So now we are introduced to the chef. He's introduced to them, and he's like, hello. So you won't Eat lunch or dinner? And she's like, I won't eat lunch. He's like, okay. God damn it. Well, these are smoked salmon bellinis, some fruit platters, some harissa spice tartar, and here we've got sea bream with Virgin Mary foam. I just had to get the Virgin Mary in there because I'm very Christian.
Ben
No, really. He's like, if you arrange these. These canopies just right, it's gonna look like Jesus being born in a manger.
Ronnie
You're saying we have to eat something in a barn? Oh, my God. Get the black lights. Get the black lights.
Ben
I've made you dinner tonight. With past this age rosemary. On time frankincense.
Ronnie
I'm sorry, can I ask you a question? What the fuck is Virgin Mary foam?
Ben
I'm assuming it's, like, basically tomato, tomato juice, and, like, horseradish and musashira that was foamed up and added onto something. It's like, probably like an actual, like, like Bloody Mary, but Virgin Mary but turned into a foam.
Ronnie
It sounds like it's not like a Bloody Mary Virgin.
Ben
Yeah, Virgin Mary foam sounds like it's something that might be, like, green and whatever, but I think it's probably, like, Virgin Mary that he foamed up because he's a very modern chef who loves trans from 2005.
Ronnie
So tomato juice that he's calling the.
Ben
Version foamy tomato juice.
Ronnie
Blacklight goes, oh, gross. All right, thank you, chef. The fuck is wrong with you? What's this? Man is so fucking rude. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. I'm not big on trends, but I am big on clothes that feel good and last. And that's why I keep going back to quints. Their high quality staples have become my everyday essentials.
Ben
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Ronnie
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Ben
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Ronnie
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Ben
I have to say, I'm a big, big fan of Quint's, and I have actually put in order for a Flit Breeze performance pocket tee that I'm very excited to rock around LA this summer.
Ronnie
Yeah, we both love quints. We wear it all the time. I even use quints to buy stuff for my father because he's trying to get more fashionable and quints is the way to do it.
Ben
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Ronnie
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Ben
Give it a try@mintmobile.com switch upfront payment.
C
Of 45 for 3 month plan equivalent to 15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com at 24 I lost my narrative. Or rather, it was stolen from me, and the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define Reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and Ill Media, I'm Misha Brown and this is the Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails and blunders of all time. Like Quibi.
Ronnie
It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to like get other people to do it.
C
And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats.
Ben
Like if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't Touching the ground. There's something wrong with the movie.
C
Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy the Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the Big flop early and ad free on Wondery plus, get started with your free trial@wondery.com plus.
Ben
So back to downstairs. Elena's like, can I wash blue stuff?
Ronnie
No, not now. Cruise stuff is never priority. Okay, Are you mad at me? No, I'm not mad. You just never worked on the boat. I'm telling you because I have to. Okay, let me show you something. You were the last person to use this. No, of course. Okay, but you need to put it back. Okay. And let. Let me be honest. You're giving me a lot of attitude and that is not nice.
Ben
Well, because you say, come here, come here, come here. And then you scream at me because I don't come and scream at you. Like, I don't scream at you. You say, come here, and I come here. But it's like you're saying it in.
Ronnie
A mean way, but you have to come when I tell you, you know, and then you don't.
Ben
People don't say please. Maybe you don't say please because you're Brazilian, but in French.
Ronnie
Oh, really? Oh, please. I'm Brazilian. Okay.
Ben
Where's your brie? Why don't you any brie?
Ronnie
I loved when she said that I was dying. She's like, oh, really? Maybe Brazilian people don't say please. Thanks. Maybe. No, maybe not. Maybe it's how you're doing.
Ben
Don't bring croissants. You don't say please. But that's okay. Different culture.
Ronnie
Well, guys, I don't know if you've heard this, but black lights are necessary. Where are the black lights? So the dad and his awful minion child are looking for their black lights and can't find it. And guess what? The. They're in their luggage and the luggage is not on the boat. It's funny.
Ben
Yeah. No one thought to actually get the luggage, which would be a decky thing to do. So Fraser's like, so do you have an ETA on that luggage? Because I don't think it's on board. So Fraser does what Frasier does, which is that he walks into Carrie's office and instead of, you know, Frasier going to Ko and being like, you need to get the luggage, he goes to Carrie and he's like, so the luggage, do we know when that's showing up? Because it's not anywhere. And I don't know where it is, but maybe someone should be in trouble because of it. I don't know. Just bring it up there.
Ronnie
Well, this is tricky because at first I just thought, well, the duckies are idiots. But they took. They went and picked. The captain went over with Fraser to pick up the guests. Right. Isn't that how this happened? And then they brought over the. They brought over the guests, but they didn't bring the luggage. So that wouldn't this kind of be the captain's fault for not arranging a.
Ben
That's what I thought at first. But then I think that with what they would do is they would bring the guests over and then send the boat back to get the luggage because you don't want to wait. Have the guests wait while they put all the luggage in.
Ronnie
So if they tell the people, people like, all right, we've got the guests, go back and get their luggage. And also, you don't want to leave the luggage just sitting on the dock either. So I would imagine you would have to have another boat coming over with the tender to get the guests. Right.
Ben
And who was the four cameraman who had to be on luggage duty? The one who had to stand there with the camera and just film the luggage?
Ronnie
I love the cameramen who are just in this world where they see happening and can't say anything, you know?
Ben
Yeah, I love that. Always happened on the Amazing Race, you know, when they were, like, trying to find the clue box, they can't find it. So the cameraman's always like. Like, you see them running off. The cameraman like, pivots the camera over to, like, the glue box, like, idiots.
Ronnie
Yeah. So he's like, oh, God, no luggage. Wankers. So Fraser does his thing. Now to the deck team. He's like, quick question. Where's the luggage? Anybody know where luggage is? And Carl just starts laughing and like, oh, no. So Kyle's gonna get it now.
Ben
Yeah. There's no luggage. And so then Selena's trying to process this. They lost the luggage. They lost the luggage.
Ronnie
And so funny. She's cracking up. She's like, oh, my God, that is so funny. Oh, who doesn't know vinegar now? Am I right?
Ben
So Carrie calls Ko to the office, to the wheelhouse. He's like, oh, well, we didn't get their luggage. And we need to think, okay, guests are on the boat. Where's their luggage? Okay, when I said it's gonna be a. A chart ever of adventure car, it's not for the luggage, for the guests. Okay, so go get the luggage. I can't think of everything, and I can't help you guys get out as much as I can, but I'm not. I'm there to help, but we need to get that luggage.
Ronnie
Yeah. And Kyle's like, oh, it's a up, you know, but. Hair wipe. Hair wipe. Oh, there's just so much stuff happening, you know? And even though I have almost four years experience, it's my first time on 60 meter. It's a big boat. Big boat. I don't know. We don't breathe. We don't breathe on the boat.
Ben
Yeah. It doesn't matter how big the boat is. You could be on a canoe. You left luggage on a dock just unattended.
Ronnie
I have to say, now that I'm. Now that I'm thinking about this the next day, and my head's a little bit more clear. I think this is Carrie's fault. You were the one who took the tender over and picked up the gas and didn't send anybody over to get the luggage. I think maybe he thought, like, this is magic. It's a TV show where I guess he's going to get the guests, so maybe they'll bring the luggage over.
Ben
I'm. I'm gonna say, like, it would have been helpful for him to say something, but the boson should have known automatically to get the luggage. So then, Sam, I guess I'll put it this way.
Ronnie
No one's coming off as extraordinarily confident at this point.
Ben
Yeah. Show. It's always a picture in the beginning.
Ronnie
Not confident. Yeah.
Ben
You know, so Sam, the blacklight guy is like, well, we can't do anything until we get our luggage. I mean, my wetsuit and everything is in the luggage. All right. Yeah. By the way, this guy who's a big germaphobe, he's gonna plunge himself into, like, the waters where there's all sorts of bacteria. So enjoy that, sir.
Ronnie
But of course, he's gonna cover with the wetsuit because even the water is too gross for him.
Ben
Wetsuit shaming. I like it.
Ronnie
Wetsuit for simple swimming. Yeah, for simple swimming, yeah.
Ben
Oh, that's true. For simple swimming, wearing a wetsuit is.
Ronnie
Yeah. I mean, if you're going diving or something. But he's probably gonna go get in the hot tub, grab.
Ben
Be, like, disgusting with, like, a snorkel mask on.
Ronnie
Yeah.
Ben
Well, your. Your bags are. I'm just waiting to hear when they'll be there. Someone's going to grab them. Apparently it's someone who has finger syphilis. Who's gonna get his hands all over your bag. So sorry, I have to tell you.
Ronnie
That we sent our sniffliest person over there. Your luggage can be carried by hands covered in snot, right? That's not gonna happen anything.
Ben
Does your luggage, is it affected by tuberculosis? If someone happens to cough on it.
Ronnie
We'Ve got our favorite stew, bubonic plague. Going to pick up your luggage.
Ben
You know, we understand that yachts are often displayers of conspicuous consumption, but in this case, there's actual consumption that will be displayed. So I hope you're prepared for that on your luggage.
Ronnie
This is funny, too. Fraser passes Rainbow and he goes. All right, I'm gonna have you start on the tables now. Look into the deco closet and see what you can find for Pan Asian fusion Japanese evening. Thank you.
Ben
See what sort of stereotypical decor you could find that represents Japan. Go ahead.
Ronnie
Chopsticks, ding dings. Little clingies on the finger. I don't care. Just whatever it is.
Ben
All right?
Ronnie
Fried rice, I don't care. Fortune cookie, have it on there. Mahjong, I don't know. Just get something from the class.
Ben
Can we arrange some ramekins, like the Great Wall of China or something like that, maybe?
Ronnie
It sounded so funny to me. Like it's not a specific thing. Just whatever. Whatever you find.
Ben
Whatever. Okay, you know what? I have a pad in my room. Could you get that? And a necktie and we could put it out there and be like pad Thai, you know, something kind of Asian, ish, Japanese.
Ronnie
Okay, so the luggage has arrived on board, and so Sam can start blacklight searching. He does the room. Now this is really impressive. He does the room and there's no problem except for the little side switches on the nightstand, which I think is like a fair place to kind of miss. I mean, the fact that they sent in this chick to do it and it ended up being that clean, I think is impressive.
Ben
But you know what's less impressive? If you're someone who is doing the black light thing, you.
Ronnie
You.
Ben
You probably are also someone who carries the. The wipes, you know?
Ronnie
You just said, get me the Clorox, remember? He was like, give me the Clorox. We need our Clorox. Right?
Ben
But then I think he still has them. Clean. Clean it regardless, you know? So like, he's like, I have the Clorox, but I don't want to actually do the wiping myself. So here, you do the wiping.
Ronnie
Yeah, he's like, fraser, Fraser, the light switches on the desk are disgusting. They are disgusting. Fix this. He's like, all right. It's not bad, actually. Cheers to us.
Ben
So then Cary's talking to Lawrence, so you're in the groove, man. He's like, yeah, I'm good. He's like, all right, well, if you're good at what you do, you'll push through. So just get through this one, you know, and just know that the implication is that if you're bad, if you can't get through this, then you're bad at what you do. So just. Just want to put that out there. He's like, yeah, well, I just don't want to be complaining, you know, it's like, oh, well, you're British, mate. It's part of the territorial. You just got all sued.
Ronnie
And Lawrence does not laugh at all at that. He's like, that was supposed to be a joke. Got it. All right, well, you know, I have anxiety, but, you know, I want to do what I need to do. I'll just do to the best of my abilities, get through this crap Crip. I'm putting this in the Lord's hands. Lord. Turns out the Lord is a shih Tzu chef, I'll tell you that much. God damn it. Jesus Christ. Why can't you do better at organizing provisions? Am I right?
Ben
To God, the Lord's like, hey, so I actually can't be there to help you, but I'm going to keep tabs on you. So I'm going to send some camera people just to film you, and I can just check the footage later.
Ronnie
Yeah, no, Jesus is like, I created the cameramen that are now giving me the entertainment of what watching you break down. Might want to check into Buddhism.
Ben
The Lord did that. See, that's why I always think of Whitney Rose. I always think of all the things that he's complaining about. He's like, I just need to. I just need to. I just need to remember Jesus. Because all these terrible things, I'm like, you know what? The terrible things.
Ronnie
The Lord did that.
Ben
So then Kyle is trying to sneak in a cigarette, and so. And Ko is joining him. And then now Fraser has welcomed everyone to a Pan Asian fusion Japanese twist on life. So Japanese tasting menu, but for some reason, it's Pan Asian. And Sam's like, wonderful. And Fraser, if I could just remind the chef, please, please destroy the meat. Take the very good quality meat and cook it as Anna has. High temperature.
Ronnie
Got it? Got it. You don't need to say another thing. The meat, we've all heard it, don't want it. Bloody want it black cooked through Got it. Exactly. Black light, man. Exactly. I want you to look at your steak and say, that's a black light steak. All right?
Ben
We want that steak to feel like I could have a garden and be two women. Two women who've seen time pass them by. Gray, gray, gray stick.
Ronnie
Asian thing I've ever heard, by the way. But all right, we'll do it. Do it for you. If you're.
Ben
If you're a chef with anxiety, I would love to. I would love to get this order because it's one less thing to worry about is making sure that the primary steak cooked properly. You just put it in the oven and just let it go. And you could do everything else, and you come back to it. It comes back a shriveled little piece of meat. And this guy will be thrilled.
Ronnie
Yeah, and I love the little girls because they get chicken tenders and fries, and it's presented like it's a very fancy meal. It's like chicken tenders and I know the font. And someone goes, wow, you sure have a lot of catch. And she goes, wow, I sure have a lot of French fries. Stupid.
Ben
Brat.
Ronnie
You. Yeah. Why do you think? Because I got a plate of fries here. Stick to the adults table you belong, idiot.
Ben
So downstairs, Elaine is working on the cabins and she touches a. Like an iron and she's, oh, it's hot. He burned me.
Ronnie
She goes, of course it's hot. It's an iron. It's like, ow, you are mean to me.
Ben
So Carrie's telling Fraser that the energy is getting better in the galley, which is good. But little does he realize the energy is actually going the exact opposite direction.
Ronnie
It's not going better at all. So now we find out that these stakes suck, right? They are not cut, they are pink. And so Sam's like, I'm sending these back. And so he sends his back. But then everyone else is like, yeah, and it's kind of cold too. He's like, we will not have this. This Sam. I mean, Fraser, universally, the stakes are cold. Universally, even the stakes on the next boat over are cold. Your chef is so goddamn incompetent. Get these out of here.
Ben
Hold on. I just saw everything everywhere all at once. Hello. I just want to check with your multiverse. Are your stakes cold too? Yep. Guess what? It's not just universal, it's multi universal at this point. It's. It's a problem.
Ronnie
There's a new ride at the studios with cold pink bean. Little children are being forced to ride universally cold. Fraser, get these out.
Ben
I don't know if you heard, but epic Universe Universal's epic universe just opened up, and their stakes are cold and tough. It's. It's an epic universality about these steaks.
Ronnie
And it's tough meat. Tuft. Get it. Get the out of here, Fraser. So he takes them and he's like, chef, I'm really sorry to do this to you, but the meats are cold. All right, so did they not have sternos back in ad. Ad began or.
Ben
I. By the way, I have to say, this guy has a lot of nerve complaining about tough steak while he's asking for his meat to be cooked burnt to a crisp. He's like, wow, like, steak and stuff. I don't want to hear that.
Ronnie
I know. Please get me black steak that is tender.
Ben
Yes, please. So now Lawrence is spiraling, of course. And then the guest goes, I mean, if I ordered a FL at a restaurant and you served me that, I would have sent it back. Oh, yeah, thank you for that theoretical situation. You also sent it back in this situation too. I don't need it to be illustrated. It was. It was bad.
Ronnie
If you order a filet at a restaurant all the way black, well done, you will be kicked out of the restaurant they won't serve. Any decent restaurant would be like, go, just get out. So Sam's like, just tell him to skip the steak. I don't even want to touch the steak. I'm disgusted. So these people just love. Love making the other people at the table not eat things. Okay. They're very controlling people.
Ben
Yeah. Because honestly, so. So the primaries was basically, it was medium. I would say it was medium well. It had a little bit of pink in it. It really was not that much. There's a little bit of pink. And honestly, he did request it to be well done, and it was not well done. And he had every right to send it back. Not to a satisfaction. Everyone else's stakes actually looked perfect. And then all of a sudden, you know, it was one of those things where one person says, mine's cold, and then everyone else says, yeah, mine's cold too.
Ronnie
And.
Ben
And it's tough. And I'm like, you know what? For some reason, I don't believe that they were actually cold or tough. I think that they're just picky people. And now all of a sudden, it's all being sent back. But I would have liked my steak. I would have liked second chance steak.
Ronnie
Yeah, me too. I'll eat anything. I'll try all your steaks. Send them over. I don't even eat meat, but hey, it's free. Send it on over here.
Ben
Give me the steak. So. So now Lawrence is mad because he's just finished plating the new steak. Just like, I'm terribly sorry, but they don't want the steak. He's like, oh, for fuck's. So now it's. The next is a teriyaki glazed chicken wing with onions and asparagus. By the way, Mr. Two Michelin Star Restaurant, what are you doing serving the steak before the chicken? Steak is the grand finale of the. Of the progression.
Ronnie
I thought it was a little weird too. Yeah, he's serving a chicken wing after the steak, but what do I know? So they loved this. They absolutely loved this. Like, wow, a chicken wing with the. With the actual bones removed. You know how Jeremy boy bones are. This chef is fucking amazing. You put a tablecloth on my lap and get him out here to do a lap dance. Make sure it's a plastic tablecloth. I do not want to feel his skin.
Ben
And then they get a tropical fruit salad with mango cream, which, wow. I think that seems like a pretty simple dessert. So I don't know why this guy was really losing his mind over this. So then Lawrence is. He's just. But he is losing his mind. He's like, well, this day has been enough for me to be honest. And with those camera people coming, I just want to tell him to off. So, yeah, about that. You're on TV show.
Ronnie
Here he goes. He's starting to lose it. So now people are like going to bed. And he's slowly spitting out. He's like, I can't with the stove. I just can't. Please, please leave. Please leave the kitchen. Get out of here, cameraman. And so the cameraman's like, okay, geez. And then a producer comes in. It's like, what's going on, Lawrence? I'm fucking done. I'm fucking done. She can't set up for trotted like this. Everything's everywhere. My head's up my. It never happens. I can deal with so much, but it's like, Jesus Christ, I'm starting to shake. Look at me, I'm shaking here. This stove doesn't work. That thing doesn't work. Nothing works.
Ben
Okay? But the cameras are here to film a show and everyone's just doing their job here.
Ronnie
He's losing it. And Carrie hears him and he's like, what's going on in there? And Fraser's like, not happy. Not. And Lawrence is still like, you know what I mean? I mean, just so Then I get told they want to make me say succeed. Oh, bollocks. Bollocks. It's a lie. It's a lie. You people don't want me to succeed. You want me breaking down. Like, yeah. And you're doing it already. It usually takes a whole season to get someone to this point. Sucker.
Ben
You're giving us great footage. And he's like, my head is so far up my ass, I'm furious. I just can. It's like, all right, mate, cuz. Carrie comes in to intervene. He's like, mate, once you get this environment worked out, you're going to try. And he's like, oh, really? I just don't really know what to do. I'm shaking. That doesn't work. This keeps on breaking. Nothing works. I can't do another charter. I'm sorry. To be continued.
Ronnie
What a wuss. Now, I would be pissed off too, if the. The stuff in there wasn't working.
Ben
But, well, I think induction. Was it one of those induction burners? Because those can be really tricky because sometimes they're like, no, I just thought, I don't want to work anymore. It's not that they don't work. It's like they have to sense something. And then a lot of times they're like, failure. Sorry, not today. I have to use the microwave. Sorry about that.
Ronnie
Yeah, it did look like that. But, yeah, those things suck. You have to have everything in their stainless steel or whatever. But guess. Or stainless steel. Is that the pans that work with those? It's the steel.
Ben
It's something I forget.
Ronnie
Steel pans. Right.
Ben
I was just using one last week and it was being very annoying about this sort of stuff.
Ronnie
Yeah. Anyway, that brings us to the end of Below Deck. I thought it was fantastic. I'm excited for the season. I hope they can keep it up.
Ben
It was hilarious. Can't wait. Thanks, everyone, for being here. And tomorrow we got a whole more new shows next gen. New York City, the Valley, all the good stuff. Talk to you next time. Watch. What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block.
Ronnie
Our way is the Amber Way.
Ben
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster, sir.
Ronnie
She can run my country. It's Angie McGovern.
Ben
It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.
Ronnie
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never Miss her call It's Diane.
Ben
Call Aaron mcnicholas She don't miss no Trickolas Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go we all go for Hugo James she has no less.
Ronnie
Namey she's our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sipped some scotch With Jessica.
Ben
Trotch she's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock.
Ronnie
Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet With Lacey B. Rigging.
Ben
The funk It's Leslie Plunkett she gets.
Ronnie
A name from us It's Lindsey D let's give a kisserino to Lisa Leno Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks it's mostly Alyssa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.
Ben
Berg this is living with Michelle Vivian.
Ronnie
I love Aya Olivia Williamson Tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson she sure is swell It's Raquel, yes, we canna It's.
Ben
Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Eldridge the Bay.
Ronnie
Area and our super premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin somebody get us.
Ben
10Cc'S of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva let's get real.
Ronnie
With Caitlin o' Neal don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides Let's go into.
Ben
The woods with Guy Tubbs who, what, why, where?
Ronnie
And Gwen Pentland it's our queen It's.
Ben
Queen Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Know your words with Jason Kurt Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Junie, my Favorite Murdo.
Ronnie
Karen McMurdo she gets an A It's Kelly B.
Ben
We love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a wiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it It's Lola Al.
Ronnie
Kalani the incredible edible Matthews sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose we're on the floor with Molly Dorsett There's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca.
Ben
Cloud she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, let's take off with Tamla Plain.
Ronnie
It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet. Coutar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondry.com survey.
Ben
Every successful business starts with an idea.
C
And on the Best Idea yet, we're obsessed with those light bulb moments. Like how a bored barista invented the Frappuccino during his downtime and then it got acquired by Starbucks. Or how Patagonia's iconic fleece was inspired.
Ben
By a toilet seat cover.
C
On the Best Idea yet, we dive into the untold origin stories behind the products you're obsessed with, and the bold risk taker made them go viral. These are the wild ideas and insights that made Birkenstock the best selling sandals since Jesus and made Super Mario the most played video game in the history of attention spans.
Ben
Yeah, Nintendo almost became a ramen company until Super Mario saved it.
C
New episodes drop every Tuesday. Follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor.
Watch What Crappens - Episode #2875 Summary
Title: Below Deck S12E01 Part Two: By Dawn’s Early Black Light
Release Date: June 3, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Podcast: Wondery
In episode #2875 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the second part of Below Deck Season 12's premiere episode, titled "By Dawn’s Early Black Light." The duo offers a blend of praise, ridicule, and humorous insights as they navigate the high-stakes drama unfolding on the yacht. This detailed summary captures the key points, discussions, and memorable quotes from the episode.
The episode picks up with Captain Fraser setting high standards for the crew, particularly emphasizing his preference for steaks cooked "extra well done," leaving no trace of pink (03:26).
Fraser's strict demands quickly become a source of tension, especially with Chef Lawrence, who struggles to meet these unrealistic expectations.
As the charter progresses, Fraser assigns specific roles and schedules to the crew members, highlighting the difficulties of managing a first charter.
Barbara voices her frustrations with Solane's performance, leading to a humorous exchange about being an "open book."
A significant plot point involves the mismanagement of guest luggage, sparking chaos and frustration among both crew and guests.
The crew debates Fraser's responsibility, ultimately assigning the task to Kyle, who fumbles the situation further.
Guests' obsession with black lights introduces another layer of absurdity, particularly involving their children.
The hosts laugh over the over-the-top use of black lights, especially when the children join in the frenzy.
Chef Lawrence's inability to deliver on Fraser's demands leads to culinary disasters and an eventual meltdown.
Despite Fraser's strict instructions, Lawrence serves cold and tough steaks, causing guests to send them back and pushing Lawrence to his breaking point.
The episode culminates with Lawrence's emotional breakdown as his culinary failures continue to mount, leaving the team in disarray.
The tension reaches its peak just as the episode concludes, setting the stage for future conflicts.
These quotes encapsulate the hosts' humorous take on the unfolding drama, highlighting both the absurdities and the intense moments within the episode.
Ben and Ronnie provide a lively commentary throughout the episode, blending humor with critical observations:
Fraser’s Rigidity: They mock Fraser's uncompromising standards, particularly his demand for overcooked steaks, questioning the rationale behind such strictness.
Crew Ineptitude: The hosts highlight the crew's lack of efficiency and competence, especially in handling basic tasks like luggage management.
Black Light Absurdity: The obsession with black lights is a recurring joke, emphasizing the guests' over-the-top behavior.
Chef’s Meltdown: Chef Lawrence's emotional breakdown is a focal point, with the hosts ridiculing his inability to handle pressure.
Ben and Ronnie wrap up the episode by expressing their anticipation for the unfolding drama in the season. They commend the show's ability to blend tension with comedic moments, keeping listeners engaged and entertained.
Their reflections underscore the show's effectiveness in portraying high-pressure environments with a humorous edge, making it a must-listen for fans of reality TV recaps.
Episode #2875 of Watch What Crappens delivers a comprehensive and entertaining recap of Below Deck Season 12’s premiere. Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam skillfully navigate the episode's complexities, highlighting the crew's struggles, guest antics, and the escalating tensions that promise an engaging season ahead. Their humorous insights and strategic use of notable quotes make the summary both informative and enjoyable for listeners who haven’t tuned into the episode.