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Ben
Wondry subscribers can listen to Watch what Crappens ad free right now. Join Wondri in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.
Misha Brown
Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and Ill Media, I'm Misha Brown and this is the Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails and blunders of all time. Like Quib.
Ronnie
It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to like get other people to do it.
Misha Brown
And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats.
Ben
Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie.
Misha Brown
Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy the big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the big Flop early and ad free on Wondery. Plus get started with your free trial@wondery.com Plus.
Ben
What happens? Watch. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens. Oh, hi. Guess what. It's Love island time. It's Ben and Ronnie. How's it going? We're back. We're back to discuss a whole brand new fresh season of Love island here on Patreon. So if you're listening to this, thanks.
Ronnie
For new bombshells have just entered the villa.
Ben
Yeah, we just walked in. We are so excited. If you're listening, thanks for supporting us on Patreon. A whole new feature film length premiere episode dropped last night.
Ronnie
Girls longer than and two seasons.
Ben
It was long. Let me tell you something, by the time we're done talking about this first episode, that opening musical number will still be going on.
Ronnie
I loved that open opening musical number, by the way. I loved it. I love any musical. And this is, this whole thing is a musical. They need to just make the whole thing a musical. Like all the songs they do are a musical anyway. They do like cabaret versions of pop songs and stuff through the whole thing. They should just have the casting them.
Ben
That's actually a really wonderful idea. Like if they just. Well, you know, maybe next season that'll be the twist that they have to sing their feelings. I wouldn't, I wouldn't mind that.
Ronnie
Personally, I wouldn't either. They can all dance, you know, half of them can sing. I mean they're so good. It's like cast like high school and musical. It's good.
Ben
Yeah, it really is. Yeah. I, I am like Officially hooked. And I. I know I'm officially hooked because when the episode was over, I immediately went to Twitter and I was like, what are people saying? And I was like, reading all the goss. And I was like, that's a. That means I'm into it. I feel like this is a very fun first episode. I mean, it felt like three episodes. They basically jammed a week of content into one premiere episode. It really went on for so long. I feel like I was watching it all night. But I enjoyed it.
Ronnie
It was three full episodes of this show. And I'm still not really sure how the format of the show works, even though I watched all of last season. But I don't really understand, like, what's supposed to happen next. So I just kind of sat there and enjoyed it. And I have to say, I mean, I loved the musical. I loved all the dramatic music, like how they take Neos closer.
Ben
I love that.
Ronnie
That was so good.
Ben
Oh my God.
Ronnie
That was the piano after. And it's just like so Broadway, you know, it's like clues.
Ben
It was so good. And that girl was kissing all of them and that music was playing. I was like, I was like, why is this so sexy right now? They did it perfectly. It was great. So the what we're gonna do, our aura around this is that we're just gonna talk about last night's episode. And so obviously it was a big one. So why don't we just go through all these people that came into the villa and talk about our, you know, our feelings about them and.
Ronnie
Well, first of all, I have to say I'm very aware that I'm talking about children. And I know that people don't love. You know, as. As the years start ticking on here, we start getting more comments like, how dare you? You're making your 45 year old men make. Well, I'm 50. But you're making fun of children. You are disgusting. We know and we don't care. Okay?
Ben
Don't care.
Ronnie
If you put your children on tv, I'm gonna make fun of them, especially when they're whoring around. And this is my favorite thing. And also the sexual freedom is just like so liberating. It's like, are straight people on sniffies now? Like, what are they doing? Those people? Those people just fuck you through a hole in the wall. I like it. It's like everything circling back to like being gay in the 70s.
Ben
Yeah. The sexual freedom is as exhilarating as the educational gaps are horrifying. They. What they have in sexual freedom they definitely lack in just general, basic knowledge of things like, I don't know ponies vocabulary.
Ronnie
When that girl said, I didn't know ponies were real, I just know of My Little Pony. I didn't know those were real things, girl.
Ben
That was a lot. And she's like, and I believe so. That was.
Ronnie
I believed her.
Ben
That was. That was a lot to take on right there. I was like, as the kids say, we are so back.
Ronnie
Because wasn't that the girl, too, that Shelly? And in the beginning, she's like, oh, my God. Everyone's shocked that I'm so smart. I'm a day trader. I'm like, so smart. Isn't that her?
Ben
Yeah. She's like, I'm so smart as a day trader. I am just, like, very intelligent. Are ponies real?
Ronnie
She's like, I had no idea those were even real. That's crazy. Day trader from Orlando, Shelley. That's her.
Ben
Yeah. But she lives in Queens. She seems to be from a lot of places all at once. Because sometimes she's like, I live in Queens. And then she's like, well, you know me, I'm from Orlando. I live in Orlando. Well, you know me, I'm, you know, living out in Montana. It's crazy. Oh, well, you know, just got back to my villa in Paris. I'm like, what? Where are you living right now, Shelley?
Ronnie
Living that day trader life.
Ben
Day trader.
Ronnie
Traveling the grow. The globe.
Ben
She's smart.
Ronnie
The globe.
Ben
I feel like she's. I'm traveling the glove.
Ronnie
She.
Ben
I get the sense that they are setting her up or I'm getting the vibe from what people. I'm saying, from what they're setting it up. I feel like she's sort of maybe going to be one of our heroes of the season. She's drop dead gorgeous. I mean, she's beautiful. She's one of the first people out. Usually the first two people that come out, I feel like they're kind of set up to be, like, audience favorites. Doesn't always work out that way. But I think that, like, there's something about, like, the first ones that we meet, we immediately get attached to. So she and Oland. Olandria came out first. And I think that Shelly is going to be one that we're going to root for, I hope, because I like her.
Ronnie
Well, so far. Alandra is my best. She's my favorite.
Ben
Yeah.
Ronnie
I mean, she's hilarious and her accent's so funny and she's like, country. I love the country couple. I think they are so funny and she's like, I like country, and you know what side to walk on it. No, that was.
Ben
No, it was her.
Ronnie
But that's the way they were talking to were so funny. She's like, you fish? And he's like, of course I fish, girl. I do everything. She's like, do it then. And he's like, that's a gang of fish. She's like, it's called a school. It's a school of fish.
Ben
It's like, I wish I had my reel.
Ronnie
My reel.
Ben
What I love about Alandria is that she is. She works in the elevator and escalator industry. I don't know why that's so funny. She's like, my name is Alandria, and I work in the elevator and escalator.
Ronnie
And then when she. And I love that, the guy had the perfect answer for her, too. Cause she ends up with a cowboy. And she's like, these city men. I can't take these city men. They don't know how to do shit. You know what it's like to be a country man? He goes, yeah, you hold the elevator door open for people. And she's like, yeah, that's right.
Ben
I was like, smart. You chose the right kind of door for her. Also, one thing that I noticed is that, like, when. In the beginning, when Alondra and. And Shelly were talking, Alandra's like, yeah, I want people. I want a guy who has manners. Like, I want all the doors open for me. I don't want to even touch a single door in this villa. I don't want a single door. Da, da da, da, da. And then later on, Shelly was talking, maybe to Austin, and she's like, yeah, I like manners. I don't want. I don't want to have to touch a single door. I was like, you stole that from Melandria. That was Alandria's line. You may. You may share the sentiment, but that was kind of Alandria.
Ronnie
Yeah, I think she did start stealing. Because didn't Shelly later say, like, which one said, you have to walk. What side of the sidewalk do you walk on? And then.
Ben
Well, Alandra asked the question. Yeah, okay.
Ronnie
Because I remember. I remember there was a lot of, like, what's a man and what's not a man? But then I was like, in the. What's a gentleman and what's not a gentleman? But then in, like, the next five minutes, they're like, okay, make out with whoever you want. And then the guy that they think is a gentleman is, like, making out with 10 people. So I was like, I don't know. I mean, I guess the elevator door is held open. So that's. That's good.
Ben
Yeah, yeah. So Shelly, she. She comes in first and so they have. The way they are picking their couples this year is that the men stand up there and then the women, one at a time, they'll kiss two men and choose one that they want to couple up with. So Shelly, the first guy she kisses is this guy Austin, who's from Michigan. And this guy is. I mean, he's like literally like a walking plank with frosted tips. This guy just has no personality. He is so dull.
Ronnie
How dare you? He has a swim. Swimming pool person. He's a pool cleaner. Okay. He worries about. He's a chemist, basically. So he's very smart. He's like the nerd of the hot douchebag guys, you know, he knows chemicals.
Ben
Yeah, he. He is basically a man horror. And like, we, we just know that. I mean, he basically says he, he's like. He's like, I love being a. I love being a pool guy because I meet all sorts of beautiful women. I'm like, that means you're sleeping with everyone on the block.
Ronnie
Yeah, he said his boss is a cock block, but he likes it other than that. And I'm like, oh, so your boss isn't letting you fuck any more people at work? I'm so sorry. Actually, I know what that's like. That was horrible. When I was young and horri. I had to get told, like, you can't fuck people at work. Well, I'm gay. Where else am I supposed to do it?
Ben
He. Well, at least he didn't have as annoying a voice as he does because. Wow. I like listening to him talk. He's.
Ronnie
He really does just. He has like a wow pool. I want so many children. Like, oh my God, please do them before you age out of these looks. You what? I mean, like, get everything you can because you're not keeping anybody around with that voice, that's for sure.
Ben
Yeah. He's like, I want to have a controlled chaos household. I was like, okay, so that means you're going to be a bad father. That means. That means you're just going to have kids climbing all over. They're going to be the family that when they come into the restaurant, everyone just clears out because they're just going to be terrible.
Ronnie
Yeah. I was surprised that somebody that cute was like, so into having babies at like, what is he, 24 or something? He's like, I want 20,000 children everywhere. And I know that's nice when you see, like, a hot baby, that someone that hot, like, wanting to commit and stuff, because usually guys. And maybe it's just from being in la, but I don't think it is. I feel like hot guys just want to run out their mileage. And then once they start breaking down, then they're like, oh, I should maybe settle down.
Ben
Well, the. The assumption there is that by having kids you're actually committing. And there's actually no guarantee that just because you have the kids, you're committing to anything.
Ronnie
Oh, well, that's true. I did say committing. I shouldn't have said that.
Ben
Well, the buzzword seems to be family oriented. He's like, well, I'm very family oriented. Or sometimes I think I may have heard an orientated. I may be. I may be incorrect. I'm very family orientated. But Ace, a few people said that.
Ronnie
Which was kind of weird. I felt like they still live from off their parents and that's what they're saying. Maybe that's like their nice way of saying, like, I still live with my mom.
Ben
Yeah, exactly. So Ace said the same thing. And Ace was the other person that Shelly kissed. And Shelly and Ace had met, like, outside a club in New York in January. And Ace is like. He's like, like, incredibly cute. I'm actually, like, annoyed because he just has, like, the perfect, like, CW face. I'm like, it's got this. He's got these cute little eyes and dimples and a smile. And he's like, so, so cute. And I'm like, really excited for his personality to be just terrible.
Ronnie
He's 100% untrustworthy.
Ben
100%.
Ronnie
Because what, what you say?
Ben
No, because I like to be released from the spell of a really cute face. I'm like, oh, my God, he's so cute anymore.
Ronnie
Okay, so they met outside. This isn't why, really, but they met outside a club. And he's like, hey, baby, come back with me, or whatever. She's like, I will not be coming back with you. But so he's very smooth. So we know that. But this is why it's horrible. The constant lick of the lip. He's doing the full.
Ben
Like, he does do that, baby.
Ronnie
Yeah.
Ben
He's very aware of how cute he.
Ronnie
Is as he talks. Yeah. But he's always, like, trying to give everybody in the room, like, I'm gonna fucking eat your say, say in two seconds. And I don't know, like, you can't trust that man. I'm telling you maybe in 10 years, but not right now. No, he's too cute. He's too gifted genetically to trust. And I'm like. When the announcer guy was like, oh, there he is. And it looks like he likes her almost as much as he likes himself. He's got her name there and his own name on his back. And then we see his back tattoo, and it just says ace.
Ben
Huge letters.
Ronnie
Huge.
Ben
He's got to. You know what? Honestly, I'm gonna say he has too many tattoos. It's not that his tattoos are bad, but I actually think that he's so cute. I feel like he's actually kind of covering up, like, a cute little body, too. Like, why not? Why not, like, show it all off?
Ronnie
But if he was gay, I'd say, you are so insecure. And it's reading, like, if you have to remind me of your name while I'm fucking you, that's, like, really insecure. You know what I mean? Just out of hello, my name is above it.
Ben
I think he is insecure in general because I think that's why he has the tattoos, is because he has such a baby face that he had to do something to make himself look, like, old than just, like, someone who's, like, 15.
Ronnie
Yeah, well, he's got a lot of sisters, which makes people trust him. So, you know, he's doing that. Oh, I've got nine. Six. I think he's one of six, Right?
Ben
Yeah.
Ronnie
And I think, like, three are sisters and three are boys, I think, if I'm remembering correctly. But that's his. That's his go to is like, oh, I know. I get it, because I have sisters. Oh, really? Okay. Did one of those do that thing on your back?
Ben
Yeah. He's gonna be trouble. He really is. He's just too cute, too young to be, like, not trouble. And actually, what was funny was that. So later in the episode, there's this big, like, the. The game at the end of the episode is that they're all blindfolded, and people get to kiss people who. Who they're not coupled up with sort of secretly. So he secretly kisses Shelly because he winds up coupled up with Ulyssa, but he. He winds up kissing Shelley first. And then he goes and hooks up with Huda, and not hooks up. He kisses Hooda, but, like, he got, like, all of Shelly's, like, makeup on his face, and then he transferred onto his face. And after they're done making up, Hooda just had all these, like, dark splotches all over her face.
Ronnie
Well, that Was interesting too, because originally Shelly picked him. She picked Ace. And then he got stolen by the other chick, Ulyssa. Yeah. So now there's like this smoldering. Oh, it's really supposed to be Shelly and Ace. And so they're selling that to us very heavily. Like, they both kind of like the people they're with, but they really want each other. But right now it's bad for them to really go for each other. And I think that Shelly seems to be kind of starting to like this. Cause she's with the pool boy now. Right. So she seems to be starting to kind of like the pool boy. Cause he says he wants a lot of children. He understands chemicals. He doesn't believe in ponies either, probably.
Ben
So that, you know, he likes tiny frogs. He had a tiny frog pet. And she's like, you know what? I used to have a tiny frog pet, but now I don't like that anymore.
Ronnie
But wait, then she said, yeah, me and my siblings or whatever, when we were little kids, we used to go catch tadpoles and then they would grow legs and shit. And then they'd become little frogs.
Ben
Yeah. And then he was like, yeah. Cause I have a little frog. I have a little frog pet. He was so cute. I feel like she does not. She's not really inherently interested in Austin. I think she's trying to convince herself that she might be because she sort of feels like Ace may be a trap. But I can. You can tell that she's totally comes alive around Ace. She's way into Ace and she's not into Austin at all. And honestly, I. I'm glad because I think Austin's just like, boring.
Ronnie
Yeah. Ace seems dangerous, but in a way, like in the future. But he's very. So far. He's very sweet, very nice.
Ben
Yeah.
Ronnie
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
Ariana
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Ronnie
Yeah.
Ariana
Nintendo almost became a ramen company until Super Mario saved it. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Follow the best idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor.
Monica Lewinsky
At 24, I lost my narrative. Or rather it was stolen from me, and the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to, and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Misha Brown
Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and ill Media, I'm Misha Brown and this is the Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails and blunders of all time. Like quibbing.
Ronnie
It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to like get other people to do it.
Misha Brown
And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats.
Ben
Like if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie.
Misha Brown
Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy the big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the Big Flop early and ad free on wondery plus get started with your free trial at wondery.com plus.
Ben
So Ulyssa, so she's sort of like, she's this. She's like 4:10. She's Cuban. Cuban from Miami. And she sort of looks like Lea Michele. Like Cuban Lea Michelle a little bit, you know, and she comes actually, I'm.
Ronnie
Looking at her picture right now. She does look like that. I didn't know notice it. And the thing is, she 70.
Ben
Maybe.
Ronnie
It says she's 27. If they lied and switched those numbers around, I wouldn't even be surprised, because she's one of those that just. And she's very pretty, but she just looks like she could be. She looks hardened. Let me say hardened. She looks like she's lived. Like. I don't know what I'm trying to say. She doesn't look like old. She just looks like she could be. You know, like when a real housewife starts their season two surgeries, and you're like, how old are you? 20 or 90? Like, you can't tell.
Ben
It's like, just.
Ronnie
And I'm getting that with her.
Ben
Yeah. You know, and I think that, like. Well, she said that she had an ex, and she's like, oh, he was so stupid. Like, he would just. I'll be making all the food for him while he's playing stupid video games. I'm like, well, I don't know if you're gonna do better here with the Love island guy.
Ronnie
You're a love Island. Yeah. At least he wasn't on Only fans yet. I know that. My first question to myself was, who. Who of these men are already. Whose videos are gonna leak? Cause remember last year, one guy had the big controversy of his stuff being leaked, but then the farmer guy or the guy who was always in overalls had the sexiest onlyfans that was leaked, or I don't know if it was only. Whatever it was leaked. And he never got. No one ever said anything about that one. But anyway, I started wondering about that. But, yeah, Ulyssa, So sorry, Go ahead with her.
Ben
No, I was gonna say, so Ulyssa, people are understandably mad at her because social media posts have come up with her saying the N word and O. Yeah. So people. And so people are obviously really mad about that and the fact that she wound up stealing Ace and forcing Shelly to go over to Austin. So right now, Ulysses kind of like Persona non grata in. On. On the Internet online.
Ronnie
But. Well, for the. For the other stuff I get, obviously, but not for the stealing. I mean, that's. The whole show is set up. Like, you have to go make out with literally 10 people. I hope you all are carrying hydrogen peroxide, because this is crazy.
Ben
Yeah, I did. Yeah. But I didn't find out about, like, her social media post after I watched the show, but I was not. I was not, like, upset that she. She stole Ace because that is the show. I mean, the show. That's.
Ronnie
That's. And Ace also went out and made out with, like, multiple people when He.
Ben
Yeah.
Ronnie
You know, so whatever. But, oh, also, before people get mad, I'm not saying I hope that people get revenge porn. I feel that that probably came off wrong. I'm not hoping that they do. But it's fun when the fun do. If they see who is going to, I will never find. Yeah. Like, who's the drama gonna happen to? Because, you know, now I'm a veteran. I've seen one season, so I'm just, like, waiting for the chips to fall. But, yeah, I didn't love Ulyssa anyway. I found her to be a little disturbing. Like, she said she's 20. She said she's 27, but she's been single for four years. But she was with somebody for six years. Anyway, some math that made her 16. She was like, I was 16. I'd been with the same guy. I cooked for him, I cleaned for him, I did everything for him. And all he did was play video games. And I'm like, but how old was the guy? Because, yeah, I'm disturbed.
Ben
It was nine years. That means it was 18. Like, someone who's 18 could be playing video games.
Ronnie
Yeah. But I also felt like, is he old? I felt like he was way older. Because 16, cooking and cleaning for somebody's really young, right? I don't know.
Ben
But she's 20. Well, she's. She's.
Ronnie
I mean, I was doing it, but it was for customers. Okay.
Ben
Yeah. I don't know. Ulysses says some. Some crazy things. Like, she said at one point, she was, like, talking about her experience, and I had to write this down because it was so ridiculous. It wasn't ridiculous. Just the way she explained. Her choice of words are just very funny to me. She's like, you know what? Sometimes I need to take time for myself and to find myself, and then found myself. And then I lost myself because I lost myself because I found myself. And then she goes, girls, the only advice I have to girls is have fun. I'm like, okay, thank you, Julissa, for your great insight.
Ronnie
No one's asking you for your advice. You were cooking and cleaning for somebody since you were 16. You are the last person I'm asking for advice from. So, yeah, I wasn't sure about her. I didn't really, like, dislike anybody right off. I'm prepared to dislike Huda. And I will tell you, and I should. Oh, actually, Huda's like my Middle Eastern queen, so of course I should love her. And she's not only a Middle Eastern queen, but she's like, I come from a super Middle Eastern family, which I was like, like, literally, like, do they have powers? Like, does your daddy back hair, like, let him repel off buildings? You know? But she has a secret child.
Ben
And, yeah, so I actually did not like her. I did not like her. And here's why. It's not because she has a child. It's because, believe it or not, it's not. Here's what I don't like about her. She comes in, she's like, hey, girls.
Ronnie
Hey.
Ben
And then she. She's the third girl in. And so she sits down with Shelly and Alondra, and like, right off the bat, she's like, so I have a child. I have a child. But I want to tell people really slowly on my own terms. I'm like, why did you just tell these two strangers? I kind of don't. I feel like it's kind of like manipulation or kind of up to meet someone that you don't know, and you kind of, like, thrust them into a secret, and now they're forced to be in that secret and they don't even know you. And then now they're gonna, like, now she'll probably get mad if they, like, out her secret. I kind of feel like that's weird. Manipulation. I don't like that. And then also, it was hilarious to me is she's just so transparent. So then she winds up paired up with this guy Jeremiah, who's a model, and she keeps on saying things. She's like, so. So what size apartment do you have? Mine's a two bed, two bathroom. He's like, what do you need that other two bedroom for? He's like, oh, I can't say. My backstory is very textured. I can't say, like, stop trying. That's all.
Ronnie
What, do you have a clown college in there? Like, what's your secret? Like, it could only be certain things, you know, like, oh, some secret. I'm renting out a room to save on rent. I mean, what could it be? You have a child. To say you have a child. It is weird, though. And I agree with your manipulation thing, because another thing she did was when she sat down with the girl, she's like, hey. And they sit down and she's like, so when do you guys want to have kids? And they're like, oh, God, when I'm like, 30, I guess. I mean, it just seems so far away, and I'm just not right. She's like, and what about you? Maybe when I'm like, 30. Because, you know, they all think 30s, you know, a dec. You know, a century away or whatever. And then she's like, well, I have a child. And they're like, oh. Like, she kind of put them in a situation where she made them feel bad almost for.
Ben
Exactly. I forgot that was the other aspect of it. Like, she does. It's like she sets them up. And then. So I didn't like that she set them up in that way. And then the same thing with Jeremiah. She was she first. Actually, she start by saying, so, do you live with anyone? Do you have roommates? Or something like that? Which was kind of her way to set him up for him to say, do you live with anyone? So that way she could be coy. Like, it's complicated. But she didn't actually even get to that point because it's got sidetracked. But then instead she got to say the two bedroom, two bathroom thing. And I just. What I'm getting from her is manipulation, honestly. And that could make for great tv. But for right now, like, I don't know. I'm hesitant with her.
Ronnie
Yeah, I'm hesitant. I like her for the most part. I don't trust her eyelashes or her eyebrows. Eyebrows. Both of those things give me warning. They're warning signs, and I don't know why. I just feel like they're so over the top that it's hiding something. So we'll see. And also, she's a fitness trainer, so I feel, like, very judged and yelled at. So then we meet this twit named Belle A. Walker. Okay. Were the birth certificates narrow? Did you run out of room to write? Bella, you don't need to be spelling it like that. I don't care where you're from, who you're from. That is ridiculous shit right there. Stop it.
Ben
Yeah, she's awful, actually. And you know what? Like, why. Why is she spelled like Wally? Bella?
Ronnie
Yeah.
Ben
Are you a robot? Are you a cleaning robot?
Ronnie
I wouldn't be surprised if she was some kind of a bot. And she's very like, I'm so innocent because I'm a Christian pushed in. She's got, like, the big, full crucifix. I'm like, girl, you are hoeing it up on Love Island. Can we stop?
Ben
Yeah. And then, like, she makes every guy kiss her on the cheek. Look, everyone's allowed to go at their own pace. But, like, you're on Love Island.
Ronnie
Why are you on the show on Earth?
Ben
Like, stop, and then you're gonna be coy. And then she has, like, all this toxic positivity. She's like, girls, no matter what happens, we're just gonna be best friends because, like, you're all my sisters in here. We're all queens. Like, she's just saying all that bullshit, and I'm like, you know what, Bella? No. Why are you wasting all of our time right now?
Ronnie
Yeah, she seems fine, but just incredibly boring. She does look just like Chrishell from selling Sunset or somebody else. She's got a face that's been on a lot of people already. It's like she just went to the Marshalls. She's a composite. And she. Yeah, she got the face.
Ben
She's a composite of 20 people, but it's pretty.
Ronnie
So then we go.
Ben
By the way, I like that when she. When we meet her. First of all, I like that they played Carly Rae Jepsen for When we met her. But second of all, I love that she goes, I believe. Believe in positive things. Which I'm like, It's just generally okay. I'm like, you might not want to believe in that when it comes to medical results.
Ronnie
I know. I hope you're not giving out tests next time. I go in.
Ben
I know. And then she goes, I'm an old soul and a Christian. I'm like, you're 22. You do not get to say old soul until you're at least in your 30s. I'm sorry.
Ronnie
You're literally. Well, you can say that about children if they're. If they are. You know, if they're like, well, let's talk about the news in the Middle east or whatever. Like, there are old souls, but you are not one of them.
Ben
No, she's not. She is not one of them.
Ronnie
Most people who say they're old souls don't say that. Because you know what? Old souls don't say that. They're old souls.
Ben
They just don't, you know. You know what old souls don't do? They don't go on Love Island.
Ronnie
No. Like, fuck these hookers. All of you are hookers. So then we have a guy that looks like a little boy with a cold in a, like, MacWill commercial. Nicholas. Think about it. When you see him, when you see his face, he looks like he's in the commercial for cold medicine. He looks like he's got a cold. I don't know what it is. Like, his nose is.
Ben
You know, because he has old man, like, lower nose region. Everything about him looks young except for the area right under his nose. Looks like an old man. It's like Hume Cronin in there.
Ronnie
He's cute. He just looks, like, tired and he has a cold. Like, I don't know what it is. And he's, like, really cute at certain angles and then, like, really dorky at other angles. But if there is any dorkiness, he hasn't let that fly. I'm looking. I'm hoping there's some dorkiness, because right now he's like, yeah, boring. But he is a nurse, so, yeah, that's good.
Ben
He also talks like Nicolas Cage. He's like. My friends describe me as feral. Like, no, there's nothing about you that seems feral.
Ronnie
You look very purebred cat. There's nothing like feral cat about you.
Ben
You have a postnasal drip that needs to be tended to.
Ronnie
Now. Whatever cold you have running through your body is feral, but not you.
Ben
Exactly. And so he actually wants.
Ronnie
He's like, yeah, all the people I take care of, they love playing with my hair. And they compared me to some singer from the 50s named James Dean, whatever that means. So this guy gets a lot of old, like, hands on his ass, you can just tell.
Ben
Yeah, he definitely does. And then, so when we meet him, they. They. We see lots of footage of them. Every time we meet someone, we see them, like, dancing in a giant O shape on the beach. So we see him doing that and everything. And he looks super hot in this. In this footage. But his hair was, like, a little longer. But by the time it gets to, like, the. The walking into the villa, his hair, for some reason is either shorter or it's just retracted and it's just not quite as attractive. I'm not, like, even a long hair kind of guy, but, like, his hair is kind of in this middle space where it's, like, not cute and short and it's not sexy and long. It's just sort of this weird middle.
Ronnie
Like, he's just coming out of his mushroom. Teenage boy. Like, I don't want this mushroom hair anymore. But he had. It was like, a recent decision, I think it was.
Ben
Yeah, it was a hedge.
Ronnie
Yeah, he's. He's fine, but, like, kind of boring. And he's boring. Something I notice. Oh, and also he has the curly hair curse, which, when I had hair, I have curly hair. And so I had that curse where sometimes it's, like, very tight, sometimes it's long and crazy. And then Huda has it too, because that girl's, like, fucked. Like, she walked in there, fucked. She was like, hey, bitches. And I was like, this poor thing. Like, they didn't allow her the proper product. They didn't warn her about Fiji, she's gonna be fucked. But one thing I wanted to talk about going back to the pool guy, and I think he will also end up with the Christian girl because they're both wearing the big, gigantic crucifixes. So that's one sign. The other thing is his tattoos. Did we discuss his tattoos?
Ben
No, we didn't.
Ronnie
Okay. On one boob, he has cupid pulling back the arrow, and the arrow has a heart in it that says mom. So he's shooting his mom's love at somebody, which is fucking weird. And then on his other tit, he's got another cupid, and it's aiming back at the first cupid with the machine gun.
Ben
What the.
Ronnie
What the.
Ben
This guy's an idiot. This guy's a idiot. He.
Ronnie
And.
Ben
He and Bell are definitely gonna wind up together. And then they're. I hope that they are one of the first people eliminated because they're just. They're just too boring. And poor Nicholas, he's trying to, like, make the Bella thing work because he winds up with Bella and, like, all they can do is, like, hold hands. And you can see he's trying to be respectful, but he's also like, yeah, this is kind of annoying right now.
Ronnie
It's interesting that this show. I think Nicholas is gonna be kicked off. I can't see him staying on there. He's just too boring. But one thing I find interesting about this show is it really is kind of like a married at first sight type of show because they get kind of a choice. Like, they make it seem like you have a choice, but they don't really have a choice. I mean, they're given one person and then they're like, okay, congratulations, you're a couple now. Our first couple. It's like, okay, make it work.
Ben
Yeah, it is weird. And then they just are, like, committed to this idea. Like, oh, we started off the show together. The. The couple that seems to be, like, most like, I would say the one. The couple that seems to be the most drawn to each other at first right now would be Huda and Jeremiah. And Jeremiah is like. It's interesting because Jeremiah's like. He's. I would say he's hot, but he actually seems insecure. He does a lot of, like, fidgety motions and looking down and everything. And it's kind of funny to just. He had an insecure hot person. Although I guess they probably all are massively insecure, but they. So he and Huda are like. They, like, right away really, like, Each other. And you know that they are connected because they went up to the soul ties area and he is wearing Birkenstocks. And Hooda goes, I wear Birkenstocks too. I was like, it's a sin.
Ronnie
They're in love. And then also, when he had the chance, I don't think he got the chance to kiss somebody, but when somebody came to kiss him, he, like, rejected the kiss. This out of respect.
Ben
And then also make sure he wouldn't get stolen away.
Ronnie
Yeah, yeah, but he said, I'm doing that out of respect. And then Ariana said, and because of Huda. Right. And he's like, yeah, well, what do you think I meant respect for Huda? What do you think I meant for the country? The out of here.
Ben
So, I mean, I think what we're all anticipating is that this couple's going to be like, there.
Ronnie
It's.
Ben
This is going to fall apart really, really quickly. Right. Like, he even said when we met him that he's like, I'm like 75, a good guy, but I did cheat on my last relationship. And so he's acting like he learned from it. But I think it's pretty clear that this is going to burn bright and then it's going to flame out quickly.
Ronnie
Yeah, Hood is not going to take that because she's got a baby, so she can't have a cheater. But, you know, I don't know if maybe he's admitting it. Does that mean, like, and I'm better? I mean, look, they're so young. It's so hard to even be mad at people. Like, even when you say, you know, horrible things about, like, even as we start finding out horrible things about them. I just, it's like, they're five to me. They're just like, you remember when you were at that age where you were like, oh, my God, they're so young. And they would literally be in middle school. And now it's like they're so young and they have muscles and they're like, making out and they've been through puberty. Like, it's weird. It's just I'm still not used to it. I act like aging happened literally overnight, but it feels like it did. So it's hard for me to. It. I forgive him is what I'm saying. I'm saying he's young enough to change.
Ben
I, I just, I also can't imagine any of these guys really being down to get in a, in a, in a serious relationship with someone who has a baby when they're all like 22 and 23. I just see them all pretending like they can and be like, yeah, that's cool. But I guarantee, like. Like, she's gonna have a hard time with that secret.
Ronnie
Well, she's obviously got someone taking care of the baby, so I'm wondering if she's got one of those lives where she can just kind of go be free and be a mom, too, you know? But I don't know. But I'm always shocked because I think none of these people are gonna settle down. They're too hot. No one's really here for a boyfriend, girlfriend. They're all here for tv. But then the couples do stay together. Like, if you look at the after sun, after the sun or whatever, a lot of them stay together for a really long time. Right?
Ben
Yeah. I think that. I think Janae and Kenny, I think, are still together. And I don't know about the rest, but I assume that the rest are. I think that.
Ronnie
I think the couple that won are still together. Right.
Ben
Serena and Cordell, I think are still together.
Ronnie
I mean, I think so, because it hasn't been in my newsfeed that they've broken up. And I feel like I've heard. I do subscribe, but I think that what they do, Shelley and Ace, are gonna be the new version of them.
Ben
I don't know. I think Ace is gonna it up. I think Ace is gonna want to, like, explore all sorts of different girls. I think a lot of girls are gonna want to, like, make out with Ace, honestly. So I think that's gonna be.
Ronnie
And you can tell she was bothered when. And who wouldn't be, by the way? But when he. You know, she could tell he was making out with 20 different people. And she tried not to look bothered, but you could see it on her face that she was bothered, and I would be bothered, too. I couldn't go on this show.
Ben
Yeah, we also should talk about. But, yeah, we. We only touched on him, but Taylor is the. He's the cowboy, and he's just kind of like all limbs and braids. Like, he's just like. Everything about him is sort of, like, long and lanky, and he. I really enjoy him, although I can't always understand what he's saying because he really mumbles a lot and he's like. And. But he seems really. You know, there's something really likable about him. He just is, like, sort of silly. And I really like how much Alondria actually likes him, because I thought he was gonna be. I thought he's gonna have a Cordell trajectory as being kind of like the kooky, dim witted, nice guy who, for the first few weeks on the show, just sort of doesn't really have any luck. And then, you know, finally, like, kicks into gear.
Ronnie
But like, right away, Cordell energy. I mean, he was wearing, like, that suit and it had.
Ben
Oh, God.
Ronnie
One side of it was red and one side of it was black. And then he had the dread, the. The braids, and then the cowboy hat, and he gave and he was kind of skipping around. And I was like, this is not a real cowboy. Because someone was like, I love cowboy. I love cowboy. And I was like, that's not a cowboy. But then he's like, I'm a cowboy. And you can tell I'm a real cowboy because I don't wear no skinny jean. And they talked about the fishing and the gang of fish. I mean, I loved him. I thought he was fucking hilarious. So, yeah.
Ben
Yeah, he was. He was actually pretty great. So then at the end of the episode, they do this kissing thing and they. They all, you know, kiss. Kiss people that secretly. And then they bring in two bombshells, Charlie and Sierra. And Charlie, they both. Charlie kisses all the girls and Sierra kisses all the boys. And then they walk off to, like, this. The hideaway or to, like, the new speakeasy area. And then Ariana tells everyone to drop their blindfolds. And what's really funny is that she's like, okay, if you received a kiss, raise your hands. Of course they all raise their hands because the Bombshells kiss everyone. Which is funny because they're setting up the contestants that think that they all were, like, all. Yeah, like, slutting it up. Yeah.
Ronnie
But, you know, that's how it is. You got to make them cry. They're going to be crying, like. And then I thought, this cast is so nice. They're all going to get along. And then they show the coming up in five minutes and they're like, you. That's some. So I think it's going to be pretty good and messy. I mean. Okay, so let's take some guesses here who are going to be the first two people to leave the island of Fiji?
Ben
I'm going to say. I'm going to say Ulissa will be out first because I think. I think they're just gonna engineer it because having social media with the N word is really unacceptable. And so either they'll just blatantly just drop her from the show, because that does happen every now and then. A cast member just disappears or they'll just. They'll just do some sort of polling thing, like you're the least popular, you're gone, whatever. So I think Ulysses will be out. But in terms of, like, out, in terms of excluding stuff that's happening outside of the show, I don't know. I think that Nicholas. I think you're instinct. I think Nicholas and Bella could be in trouble. What do you think?
Ronnie
I think Nicholas and Bella, but I think you've got a strong case for Ulissa, whatever her name. Ulissa.
Ben
I can't remember her name.
Ronnie
I mean, I think you've got a strong case for her, but yeah, that's who I think. And possibly pool guy, because he doesn't really seem to have a ton going on. But yeah, I don't know. We'll see. But anyway, we'll find out soon. We'll be here. I thought they didn't have shows on Wednesday. But they said it's tonight, right?
Ben
Yeah, it's usually on the weekend. They have like, unseen bits and then there's usually like a day where there's no real show. But whatever. I mean.
Ronnie
But anyway, we'll be here about three days a week doing these. So if you want these. Thank you for being on Patreon. This episode is free. It's a free bonus for everybody on the main feed. And this is what we do. So if you want this on the Patreon, this is your daily check in.
Ben
Yeah, yeah. This is the vibe. Thanks, everyone for being here. Catch you on the next one in a box. Three, two, one. Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block.
Ronnie
Our way is the Amber way.
Ben
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster, she can run my country.
Ronnie
It's Angie McGovern.
Ben
It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.
Ronnie
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's diane Call Aaron McNicholas.
Ben
She don't miss no Tricholas Hava Nagila Weber you'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less.
Ronnie
Namey she's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica Trot.
Ben
She's our favorite streamer.
Ronnie
Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a Bee in your bonnet with Lacey.
Ben
B. Rigging the funk It's Leslie Plunkett.
Ronnie
She gets an A from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisalino Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.
Ben
Berg this is living with Michelle Vivian.
Ronnie
I love a YA Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson. It's Rachel Manderson.
Ben
She sure is swell.
Ronnie
It's Raquel, yes we can.
Ben
It's Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge the Bay area betches Betches and our super premium.
Ronnie
Sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
Ben
Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.
Ronnie
We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
Ben
Let'S get real with Caitlin o' Neal.
Ronnie
Don'T get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides Let's go into the woods with Guy.
Ben
Tubbs who, what, why, where? And Gwen Jen Pentland.
Ronnie
It's our queen It's Queen Laifa Nobody.
Ben
Holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Know.
Ronnie
Your worth with Jason Kurt Hail the.
Ben
Cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Juni, my Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo she.
Ronnie
Gets an A It's Kelly B.
Ben
We love him madly It's Kyle Pod Chadley we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it It's Lola Al.
Ronnie
Kalani the incredible edible Matthew sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose we're on the floor with Molly Dorset There's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca.
Ben
Cloud she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, let's take off with Tamla Plain it's.
Ronnie
Always a good time when you're working Wasting time with Bravo she ain't no shrinking violet coutar we love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wonder.com survey.
Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens Episode #2876 – "Love Island USA S7E01: A New Season Enters the Villa"
Release Date: June 4, 2025
In this bonus episode of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive deep into the premiere of the seventh season of Love Island USA. This detailed analysis provides listeners with comprehensive insights into the new cast members, initial episode dynamics, and predictions for the season's progression.
The episode kicks off with Ben and Ronnie expressing their enthusiasm for the new season:
They highlight the extended length of the premiere, likening it to a feature film:
A significant portion of the discussion centers around the musical aspects introduced in the first episode:
Ronnie [02:06]: “I loved that opening musical number, by the way. I loved it. I love any musical. And this is, this whole thing is a musical. They need to just make the whole thing a musical.”
Ben [02:24]: “That's actually a really wonderful idea. Like if they just… maybe next season that'll be the twist that they have to sing their feelings. I wouldn't, I wouldn't mind that.”
The hosts appreciate the Broadway-like elements, suggesting that incorporating full musical performances could enhance the show's appeal.
Ben and Ronnie scrutinize the first couple introduced, Shelly and Ace:
They discuss Shelly's background and her ambiguous origins:
Ronnie expresses skepticism about Shelly's consistency:
The duo speculates Shelly's potential role as a season favorite due to her charm and appearance.
Alandra, portrayed as a humorous and country-loving contestant, garners praise:
They highlight her witty exchanges, especially her banter about fishing:
Notable Quote:
Ulyssa is introduced with controversy surrounding her past social media posts:
Ronnie critiques her behavior and perceived manipulation tactics:
They express concerns about her authenticity and intentions on the show.
The pairing of Huda and Jeremiah is discussed with a focus on their chemistry and potential longevity:
They note Jeremiah's insecurity masked by his attractiveness:
Nicholas and Bella are portrayed as potentially fragile due to their personalities:
Ben anticipates their early elimination based on their interactions:
The hosts make several predictions regarding which contestants might leave early:
Ben [41:45]: “I think Ulysses will be out...”
Ronnie [42:33]: “I think Nicholas and Bella, but I think you've got a strong case for Ulissa...”
They also discuss the dynamics of new bombshells entering the villa and the impact on existing couples.
Ben and Ronnie draw parallels between Love Island USA and Married at First Sight, highlighting the semblance of forced coupling and limited genuine choice:
Detailed evaluations of individual contestants reveal the hosts' biases and expectations:
Ulyssa: Viewed as manipulative and inconsistent, with questionable authenticity.
Huda and Jeremiah: Seen as a strong couple but with underlying insecurities that may challenge their relationship.
Nicholas: Considered too dull to make a lasting impression, potentially leading to early elimination.
As the episode wraps up, Ben and Ronnie anticipate the unfolding drama, emphasizing their excitement and readiness to dissect future episodes:
They conclude by encouraging listeners to stay tuned for ongoing analyses and speculations throughout the season.
Ben [02:00]: “By the time we're done talking about this first episode, that opening musical number will still be going on.”
Ronnie [07:25]: “She’s like, do you fish? And he's like, of course I fish, girl. I do everything.”
Ben [21:44]: “People are obviously really mad about that and the fact that she wound up stealing Ace and forcing Shelly to go over to Austin.”
Ronnie [27:50]: “She sets them up in that way. And then the same thing with Jeremiah.”
Ben [34:33]: “I think this show... kind of like a Married at First Sight type of show because they get kind of a choice.”
In this comprehensive episode, Ben and Ronnie meticulously dissect the inaugural installment of Love Island USA Season 7. Their candid assessments of the new cast members, combined with sharp humor and insightful predictions, provide listeners with an engaging and informative overview. Whether you're a seasoned fan or new to the show, this episode offers valuable perspectives on the dynamics that will shape the season.