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Ben
Life doesn't happen biweekly, so why should Payday the money you earn can be in your hands today with Earn In.
Ronnie
Earn in is an app that gives you access to your pay as you work up to $150 per day with a max of $750 between paydays.
Ben
Just download the Earn in app and verify your paycheck. Then access up to $150 a day as you work and leave an optional tip. Any money you access plus tips are automatically repaid from your next paycheck.
Ronnie
I mean, you can do this when you're having a special night out, when you getting a last minute gift for a loved one or you're taking an unexpected trip to the vet.
Ben
Download Earn in today, spelled E A R N I N in the Google Play or Apple App Store.
Ronnie
When you download the Earn in app, type in Watch what Crappens under Podcast when you sign up. It'll really help the show. Watch what Crappens under Podcast Earn in.
Ben
Is a financial technology company, not a bank.
Ronnie
Cash outs are based on your available earnings and standard cash outs. Take one to two business days with.
Ben
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Ronnie
See the Cash out user agreement for details. Services are not available in all states.
Ben
The CareCredit credit card lets me pay overtime for just about anything my dog needs, from food to vet care. But. But what if, hypothetically speaking, I got a bird. No, a horse. Well, I've got good news for my hypothetical self. CareCredit is accepted at more than 270,000 locations and works for, wait for it all animals. And the even better part is, it also works for me. I can use it for spa trips, dental treatments and more. CareCredit offer flexible financing for all my hypothetical animals and Hypothetical me.
Ronnie
Visit carecredit.com to apply and find a location near you. Subject to credit approval.
Ben
The HBO original series the Gilded Age is back and so is the official companion podcast.
Ronnie
Are you curious about how they brought Gilded Age New York to life?
Ben
I don't understand. Which bit is not clear? None of it is clear. Want to know where the writers branched off from history? Well, when you set your mind on a thing, no one can stop you.
Ronnie
I take that as a compliment.
Ben
Watch or listen to the official Gilded Age podcast.
Ronnie
Wherever you find podcasts.
Ben
Watch what happens Watch what happens Watch what happens who cares what happens when there's so much what happens? Watch what happens who cares what happens when there's so much that Crappens.
Ronnie
Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crapons. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.
Ben
Hi, how are you?
Ronnie
Sup, bruh?
Ben
Sup?
Ronnie
Yeah. Today is Real Housewives of Miami day here on Wildwood Problems. Also, join us over on Patreon for our three day a week Love island coverage. That's gonna be super fun for you. You guys should go check it out. Also, that's where you get videos. You get videos of us doing all of our@patreon.com. what's going on today? Anything fun? Who are you writing right now?
Ben
I hear I'm typing because I literally just bought a board game and I have to like, sometimes typing in the address. I was like, oh, Ronnie's gonna be making some announcements, but I didn't realize how loud my keyboard would be.
Ronnie
Tour is over. Announcements are done.
Ben
There's nothing left to say.
Ronnie
There's nothing. Yeah, no, I'm gonna say, you gotta break audience. Okay, you don't. Now we can just jump right into the show. How do you think about that?
Ben
I have to say, I mean, Miami is just. It's so good. It really is up there with Salt Lake City. And I just. I know we say it every week. I just cannot believe people don't watch it. Like, I can't believe there are people that say, oh, I just haven't been able to take it on. Like, it is such a good show. And I was just thoroughly. I was just like cracking up at this ridiculous shit show. Everyone is always on 10 and like, from start to finish, they just really kill it. Also, I have an update, a very important update about last week's episode. Episode when Larsa and. And, well, Larsa's son and Lisa walked in that fashion show for, like, Philip Plein or whatever. So I think we were wondering, like, is this guy like a legit, like, fashion designer or not? So I did ask a friend who works in fashion and he was like, well, I mean, yeah, he's definitely like a real, like, fashion designer, but he's also sort of like, he's like the one that everyone just like, laughs at. And I was like, okay, that tracks. That tracks. I knew there had to be some catch. So it all makes sense now. That is what I learned from a single person in fashion.
Ronnie
Yeah, it's like fashion for Miami influencer types, you know, I mean, they have Lisa. They asked Lisa and Larson to walk in it. So what more do we need to know about this Philip line? Man? I would never fit into it. I'll tell you, that would not fit into any of it. That's what I know about Philip Plein. That's all I need to know.
Ben
Yes.
Ronnie
So this episode is three of season seven, episode three, and it's called the worst Wedding ever, which is something on Bravo that's quite a claim to make.
Ben
It's actually what's actually nice is that a lot of the wedding episodes on Bravo, people are on generally good behavior. Like, usually, like we always think the wedding episodes will be crazy and chaotic, but usually it's like they're. They're pretty, you know, civilized affairs with like some small thing, a little wrench they may throw in there. Like Cynthia's mom hiding. Like the. What was it? The what? The marriage certificate or. Or whatever it was.
Ronnie
That was a weird one. And they got married in the dinosaur like. Yeah, gala museum or whatever. That was pretty weird. Getting married in front of a skeleton, especially when you're marrying Peter, just. It's bad juju.
Ben
Yeah, exactly. But this one was like, legitimately a terrible wedding reception because the fight was. It wasn't just. Just that they were fighting. It was like a loud, water flinging fight. I mean, the sort of thing that, like, I would be mortified if I ever did that at someone's wedding. Really, Anywhere in. In public, but especially at a wedding. Luckily it was like the third wedding to the same couple.
Ronnie
So I was gonna say it's like the 70th wedding of Marisols, so it's okay.
Ben
Ye.
Ronnie
So it's Marisol and Steve's wedding day, everybody. She's getting ready for her third wedding to Steve. Okay. She's getting makeup done. I'm getting nervous. Butterfly nervous. Dios mio, la mariposas. Inside me is Domingo. Make it stop.
Ben
Yeah, I'm really, really excited about getting married for the 16th time on this show. Let's show a. A montage that should carry us through the 42 minutes so we can wrap up this episode. Look, there's me getting married on a mountaintop there. Me getting married at a miniature golf course. There's me getting married at the in line to see Final Destination Bloodlines. There's just a lot of. Lot of weddings happening for me.
Ronnie
I'm like in heaven right now because Steve as an angel. Steve, aren't you an angel? It's like, yeah, I'm a fucking angel. Oh, God, Steve. So she. We see wed Marisol's wedding celebration, and she's now dressed in black, wearing an eye patch with a bedazzled dollar sign on it. And Steve is saying, here's my beautiful and lovely wife. It's like, oh, I don't want anything to hack's our wedding day. It has to be perfect.
Ben
Lightning strike. Women are sitting at the table, and Gertie's saying, do you want to do this? With a whole group of women? Do you want to do this?
Ronnie
No, no, no. I am going to point in your.
Ben
Face and scream at you. You're not going to be bruising.
Ronnie
Okay? You're not.
Ben
Oh, yeah, you. But you're screaming like a hyena. A screaming hyena.
Ronnie
I am proud hyena who could eat.
Ben
Goat but would never do such a thing.
Ronnie
And then Steve's just like, good Lord. Dios mio. Am I right, guys? Am I right? And Julia's like, I'm hyena. I'm proud to be hyena. Oh, really? Go sit down, hyena. Go sit down. Go, go, go. Can sit on your words. You can sit on your words. That's what you can do. You know what hyenas do? They sit down on words.
Ben
Oh, my God. This is the worst wedding party ever. You can put that in the trailer. Bravo. Worst wedding party ever.
Ronnie
Sound bite Three days earlier Lars is home. So Lars is with Preston in the kitchen, and she's like, preston, do you, like, realize that you, like, walking like Philip, like, plants, like, fashion, like, show, like, in Milan. Like, like, holy. Like, like, this is, like, huge. Like, you're so lucky I let you take my spot because he asked me first. He asked me first.
Ben
You have to really, like, take advantage, like, of the advantage of your opportunity. Like, and, like, I'm excited, like, for your journey. Like, he's like, yeah, the journey is the reward. Yeah, Especially because it was my journey, like, that I gave up for your journey, like, and that was, like, really good. Like, I need to post that on Instagram. That was, like, such a. Like a, like, inspirational thing I said about journey. Like, I love going to Journeys. I always get my sneakers there.
Ronnie
Like, yeah, she's a total journeys person from back in the day, by the way. He did not make up the journey as a reward. And it's so sad that someone who posts as much as on Instagram as Larsa has never heard that before. You're looking at the wrong threads. Okay. Get off the butt. Bleach. You know, influencer threads.
Ben
I feel bad now.
Ronnie
The psychological pop psychology threads. Why do you feel bad, Ben?
Ben
You know why? Because I start off the episode just shading Philip Plein, who is, you know, whether he's a laughingstock of fashion or not, he's still, like, doing it. And he obviously had, like, lots of people there, so he's successful. And he got this kid who got to go to Milan and walk in the show, and that's, like, so super cool. And I'm sitting here being like, it's whatever. He's, like, not even a real designer. Like, who the am I to say that, okay, this is gonna be a.
Ronnie
Philip Plein Instagram influencer?
Ben
No, it's not even that.
Ronnie
I just like Philip line being upset on the freeway listening to you. This is.
Ben
No, I don't care about Philip Plein. I'm just saying, like, this kid. This is a cool thing for this k. And, like, you know, we've seen kids in Bravo, like, walk literally in fashion shows at the Browns for posh, and, like, oh, my God, I'm walking for Posh, and they think it's so cool. And now there's, like, someone who actually gets to walk in Milan Fashion Week with, like, legitimate people there and press and everything. And I'm like, whatever. It's, like, not even cool. I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna. I'm gonna take a seat for myself. I have decided to put myself in time out.
Ronnie
Ben, please be a better person. This is. Watch what happens. So that's why people listen.
Ben
All right, hold on one second.
Ronnie
Good people having good opinions. I mean, good people.
Ben
All right, guess what. You're a loser who walked for a loser fashion brand. I'm back, everyone.
Ronnie
Yeah, I. I walked for hefty children's clothes at Dillard's. You know what? Did that make me a badass in my own head? Yes, it did. Okay? No one can ever take that away from me, because I have the confidence of knowing that I was a chunky child model. So suck at anybody who has anything to say. The journey is the reward. I came up with that in 1983. Okay, so three days earlier. Oh, yeah, we already did that. Okay, so now we go to the beach, and Adriana is with her new man that she's probably renting, let's be honest. And she's like, oh, my God. They were saying, he's so nice. He's so handsome. That's all they're saying. They're talking about you. Who else? Buddy, come on. I'm going topless now. Watch me walk into the ocean topless. Are you watching me? Are you watching me? And he just looks at the camera like his teeth are kind of gritted.
Ben
Like, oh, God, it's like, why did I do this? Now we got the Juliet out front. So now Martina and Julia are in the kitchen, and Martina is, like, whisking batter, and Julia's like, are you making my scrambled eggs? She's like, no, I'm making banana bread for the boys. Oh, look, Martina is cooking more than I can say for Chris Everett. Anyway, I can't talk while I'm doing this. I need to focus. Must get Grant's lamb and banana bread. Okay, so you can't multitask. No, no, I need to double everything. Must make banana bread. Marcina, make banana bread.
Ronnie
When are you going to just memorize recipe? What are you, hyena? And she's like, stop talking to me. One teaspoon, two tablespoons. Oh, is it the other way? I'm just a person trying to make banana bread. So then we go to Sea Spice Brasserie and Lounge, and it's Alexia getting out of her white G wagon, which we now know is vac. So she walks in with Frankie, and she's like, oh, my God, Frankie, do you remember this place? Do you remember it? Can you still be in it, even though you've been traumatized by being moved out of in front of.
Ben
Being moved out of in front of. I brought you to see Spice to ease the wounds.
Ronnie
So you know what I'd rather. I would rather that Frankie see Spice and not see Todd moving.
Ben
In front of. So Alexia is like, I'm here to see Mariam. And by the way, when she said Mariam, I honestly, I was like, oh, it's finally happening. We are going to finally meet the new housewife. But no, like, this is, what, the fifth episode? I mean, next week we know we're meeting her, but I was like, hello. When can we get the new housewife? But also just goes to show how stacked this cast is that they just have to get through all this drama before they can introduce someone new yet. So she goes upstairs to see Mariam, the owner of Sea Spice, not to be confused with Ice Spice. And Mariam's like, alexia. Oh, God, you look lovely, my darling. Oh, yeah. Media. Que lindo. I love what you're doing here. I'm so happy. We're gonna do this for free, right? It's all free, right? This is for free.
Ronnie
This is so crazy. It looks like a boat. A free boat. So I want to have a surprise celebration for Marisol and Steve because they're finally going to get officially legally married. Because they've been, like, married before, but not, like, legally. They did it in a drive through of a Sonic Burger once. But because they like the ice. You know, they like the little. The little crumbly ice, Which I don't blame them. You know, that's good ice. But I was like, you should do it someplace else. You know? So they did a little golf course once, a. But. But, you know, But I don't like doing that. So they don't have drinks there. So I said, do it there. It looks like a boat. Yeah.
Ben
So they did it there. Then they went to Tilly's, did it again. It's been a fun journey for them. So Alexia is saying that this could be a big surprise. Okay? She goes, oh. Oh, my God. So many good memories in this bar. Remember all the memories. This is where I met Todd. And then I think Alexi was trying to queue up some sort of, like, flashback sequence. All right, producers, show us how we're in love. Show how the star is in love with Todd. Do it. No. Okay.
Ronnie
Alexi, who hates making things about herself, is like, you know what? I'm gonna throw the wedding party for my best friend in the place that I met Todd so I can say, oh, my God, I'm so happy for you, but this is where I met Todd. This is where I met him. You guys keep me strong. Keep me strong. Okay.
Ben
I think I picked Sea Spice because, like, I'm a masochist, and I like to torture myself holding on to those memories with Toad. But, like, I've also had, like, a lot of money and naughty nights with Marisol at Sea Spice, by the way. And, oh, well, you know, Peter, he also comes here because he's an artist, and this is a place for artists. So, like, a lot of memories and masochism here.
Ronnie
So Miriam's like, oh, my God, I always tell everybody my yacht's bigger than your yacht because it looks like a yacht in here, right? And then you have the beautiful downtown skyline. Look at that. And sometimes I tell people, like, like, hey, my downtown is bigger than your downtown, because, like, I got downtown on my window. Am I right? It's, like, crazy, you guys.
Ben
My downtown brings all the boys to the yard. Am I right? And Alexa's like, oh, this views. This is perfect for Marisol. I mean, I am so glad that Marisol is going to get to stand here and look with both of her eyes at this beautiful view. So we see the view.
Ronnie
You know what's gonna make this great? Perfect for Marisol? Depth perception.
Ben
Being able to really see how far away she is from all the buildings. And how far away all the buildings are from each other. It's just really going to be so wonderful for her.
Ronnie
So the tables are in the shape of surfboards. She's like, oh, my God. I get it. Because it's like a boat. That's so funny. That is so funny.
Ben
A yacht that carries surfboards. It's like being on a yacht and all the passengers are surfboards. It totally makes sense.
Ronnie
So she's like, well, this is great, because I've never been to one of her weddings, like, whether it's the first one or the 19th one, like, I need to celebrate her. Okay. Because, like, I've never seen a wedding. Okay. They've always happened outside. Outside of my eyesight. So we see her weddings passed, and Stephen, Marisol at their Mexican wedding. Then a clip of Marisol in a black evening gown of Steven a Some Scottish castle. And they didn't even go over the other weddings on the show. Do you remember that one in her first year where she's like, I'm wearing this guy. We're so in love. We're gonna get married on a. On a. On the Alps. I just want to get married.
Ben
It's like this random guy I'm pretty sure was the same guy that Adriana just went on a date with to the beach. Like, they looked exactly the same, if memory serves. And they went all the way up to the top of that mountain, and they were freezing, and the priest was there, and he was freezing, and it was just like, what is happening here? It was a whole storyline. It was a whole thing. And I remember every time we had to stop and do that storyline, it was the worst thing ever. It was. It was a lot.
Ronnie
Because Marisol was very different back then. And in the original run of the show, Marisol was nothing like she is now. She came up with this personality for this show, like, this Persona, and it's so funny. But back then, she was really boring and mousy and never said anything.
Ben
And she was, like, very serious, and she would be, like, always about to cry. And, like, she was actually, like, a terrible casting choice back then.
Ronnie
Yeah.
Ben
But she basically was kept around because her mom was so entertaining.
Ronnie
Yeah. And then she kind of stole her mom's personality, and she's. She's made it work, you know, much better. Sometimes it just takes a decade, you know?
Ben
Yeah.
Ronnie
So then we see a flashback five months earlier because Alexia's like, oh, my God, it's been so hard. Am I right, Frankie? Don't make Frankie talk about it. He's Very traumatized. And Frankie's like, yeah, it's hard, Mommy. Please don't cry. And she's like, oh, my God. I can't help it, Frankie. Because you know why? Because we're on the boat, like, where I met See Spice. Todd.
Ben
Oh, Mary, let me tell you something like this because I want to tell you something. This is so difficult. The last thing I want is for Frankie to have to leave this all over again. But I got home and everything was missing, and he had moved him and all his daughter out, and he even took the shampoo from the bathtub in front of Frankie. Right there in front of Frankie. And Frankie's like, oh, and Julia. I guess Julia's there. She's like, oh, no. Oh. Because it's a flashback, everything.
Ronnie
Frankie's like, yeah, Todd, don't mind me. And she's like, well, you know who's missing out? It's not you. It's Todd. And she's like, oh, my God. But, you know, it's still hard because, like, thank God I have, like, Frankie, because he's, like, my angel. Like, does he stop furniture from being carried out of the. Not really. But, you know, like, does Frankie, like, make sure that my shampoo isn't stolen from the bathroom? No, not really. By the way, Frankie, why didn't you stop him from stealing my shampoo from the bathroom? Do you know how expensive that shampoo was? Oh, my God.
Ben
Frankie knows what's going on just because he can't express himself the way a lot of us can express ourselves. Like, for instance, the way I express myself so well, you know, his comprehension is there, and he's very intuitive. Okay, so, like, for instance, when he felt like the shampoo was missing, he went to the bathroom, and guess what? It was missing. He was taken.
Ronnie
Now, you know, listen, here's who knows about it. Larsa, Gertie, Julia, Kiki, they all know about it except Lisa. But you know what? Lisa doesn't answer her phone. Okay? So how is Lisa gonna know? You know what I mean? Lisa didn't even say, oh, my God, your hair doesn't smell like strawberries today. I mean, come on, Lisa. Like, are we friends or not? You know? So you know what?
Ben
Let's call Lisa. Why don't we call Lisa right now and see what happens? I'm sure it'll be a good phone call.
Ronnie
Lisa's like, hello. Oh, my God. I'm calling you because I wanted to invite you to Marisol and Steve's wedding. Did you know they're getting married? Again, I mean, I hope I have shampoo.
Ben
And so Lisa goes, I'm in Canada right now. And Alexia goes, oh, my God, don't tell me your father passed away.
Ronnie
Says that.
Ben
Oh, my God, please don't tell me your father died. I don't know why.
Ronnie
The show. Every time they get. Don't tell me. Don't tell me your father passed away.
Ben
Don't tell me your father died.
Ronnie
Yeah.
Ben
Imagine. She said, no, no, he's fine. It's just one of those things. Like, I don't know. I kind of feel like it's up for Lisa to be the one to say, was funny.
Ronnie
It was just funny. She's, oh, my God, no. And then she slams her phone on the table. Like, why are you hitting her phone on the table?
Ben
And only this. Like, how is it that this show. Two times in a row. Not in a row, but, like, how. How is it that this show manages to have a wedding and a funeral at the same time?
Ronnie
Like.
Ben
Like this. This is the second time it's happened.
Ronnie
Oh, that's true.
Ben
Yeah.
Ronnie
And it just.
Ben
The show. The show is wild. I'm telling you. It's wild.
Ronnie
So she's like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. She's. Yeah, well, he was unconscious, so I didn't even get to have a moment with him. I still got some selfies, you know, but, you know, it's rough. She's like, oh, my God, it's so rough. She goes, yeah, well, just know that he's in heaven right now, and he's watching you, and he's saying, why aren't you on a boat right now? That's a restaurant, and. Oh, my God, is that a restaurant? Does it float? You know? Oh, my God. I recognize this restaurant. It's the boat that Alexa met on. Oh, my God. Tell your father thank you for thinking of me.
Ben
And if he sees any narcs there in heaven, I want him to say to them, good, I'm glad you're dead, because you all should die.
Ronnie
I wonder if she even understands that means narcissism, because Alexia is. Has been against narcs since our first marriage.
Ben
You know, it does drive me. It did really drive me crazy. Crazy that Marisol was like, it's another narc. It's like, that's. Narc is a different thing. It's a different thing, Marisol.
Ronnie
It's a different thing in Miami, for sure.
Ben
Here comes one right now.
Ronnie
We acting bad.
Ben
Bad, bad, bad.
Ronnie
We ain't trying to hurt nobody.
Ben
For decades, he was untouchable I've gone from Harlem to Hollywood, but now it's all coming undone. Sean Combs, the mogul as we know it is over. He will never be that person again, even if he's found not guilty of these charges. I'm Jesse Weber, host of Law and Crime's the Rise and Fall of Diddy. The federal trial, a front row seat to the biggest trial in entertainment history. Sex trafficking, racketeering, prostitution, allegations by federal prosecutors that span decades, and witnesses who are finally speaking out. The spotlight is harsher, the stakes are.
Ronnie
Higher, and for Diddy, there may be no second chances.
Ben
You can listen to the Rise and fall of the federal trial exclusively with Wondery. Join Wondery in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple Podcasts right now.
Ronnie
Today is the worst day of Abby's life. The 17 year old cradles her newborn son in her arms. They all saw how much I loved him.
Ben
They didn't have to take him from me.
Ronnie
Between 1945 and the early 1970s, families ship their pregnant teenage daughters to maternity homes and force them to secretly place their babies for adoption in hidden corners across America. It's still happening.
Ben
My parents had me locked up in.
Ronnie
The godparent home against my will.
Ben
They worked with them to manipulate me and to steal my son away from me.
Ronnie
The godparent home is the brainchild of controversial preacher Jerry Falwell, the father of the modern evangelical rite and the founder of Liberty University, where powerful men, emboldened by their faith, determine who can gets to be a parent and who must give their child away. Follow Liberty Lost on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. We go to Marisol's house and she's getting her makeup done, and she's like, all right, you know what? Some. Some people call this getting their makeup done. Some of us call it re adobe the front of the house. You know what I'm saying? Go ahead, mix the cement. You've got to mix it first. Don't just put it on my face. It'll clump up just in front of me in a mailbox and I'll be a house. All right, well, I'm just so nervous today, guys. It's like for reals. It's for reals.
Ben
You know, this wedding's gonna be good because I just talked to my numerologist, Kelly. Flashback, flashback. So I had a couple of friends that lived here, Kelly. And we were all hanging out by the pool, and some guy comes to look at the house. Some guy, am I right? And Steve over here, that's what I'm trying to say. Kelly, Come on, keep up. Kelly. So I guess I left my swimsuit at. And then my friend calls me and says, hey, the new owner found your swimsuit. Are you following Kelly? And the next thing I tell him, he got a text about the swimsuit. He's like, come on soon. Like, why don't you come on Friday? Come Friday night? And then I didn't have to leave for three days. So. Okay, so since you're a numerologist, what does swimsuit plus swimsuit plus new house mean?
Ronnie
This is a wild story. So she sold her house to Steve, left her bathing suit, went back to the house to pick it up and fuck Steve at her house, and then stayed there just like. It's just like I never left. Literally.
Ben
I just felt like the numerologist was like. So I deal with numbers and this story I can't do anything with. Why are you telling me this?
Ronnie
So they're picking their perfect outfit to wear on the motorcycle because they're gonna ride the motorcycle to city hall. And she's like, we're real nervous because there's a lot of money on the line between the two of us.
Ben
You know? We're nervous. Yeah, a lot of money. And. Oh, God, by the way, did you find out Lisa's father passed away? Oh, it's terrible. But she's gonna bury him with a Philip Line sunglass, so it'll be nice. Anyway, I don't know what happened. I just heard he'd been in the icu. By the way, I not only do icu, I see spice. We should go back to seaspine someday. Anyway, I just was so weird just sitting there getting married. At least he's gonna bury her father. I mean, what are we, two seasons ago? Okay. Life is quite the cycle. Speaking of cycles, we're getting that bike of yours or what? Come on, now.
Ronnie
So they take the hog down to city hall, and she's like, I've ridden this hog before, but not as. Not the orange one. Yeah, I'm gonna cry. This is cereal. Okay? This is serial. Oh, my God, I'm so nervous. And he's like, don't cry. You're too pretty. Life is short, especially for us. Am I right? So, you know, that's what we're doing. You know, it's just. I just wish mom and dad could be with me. And then we see a clip of her mom just being like, do not marry stupid people.
Ben
And we also see her dad, who I forgot that we ever met, and Marisol's like, look, when they couldn't speak for themselves or take care of themselves, they had me and my brothers, but I don't have any children. So Steve and I decide with that, what we need to do is we need to be able to access each other's funds and maybe their children. You want to call me Mom? No. Okay. And take care of each other, protect each other and make decisions for each other because, right, we know we're going to be together forever or at least another season or two. So that's just something we need to do that's legal in the state of Cal in Florida. Florida. Florida Fornia. Am I right? So just don't go too fast because I'm a first timer on this hog. I mean, not first time on a hog. In general, like, you're a dick. So you're keeping up, Steve. You know what I'm saying here?
Ronnie
So they get married and then they ride around on their motorcycle with her wedding veil. It's so romantic.
Ben
So it's like. You know what's crazy? I actually really enjoyed this entire sequence. I couldn't believe it. I was like, it's another Marisol wedding. It's a stupid thing. It's sentimental. I actually really liked it. I like, in a weird way, I really liked that they found each other. They had this low key sort of situation with the motorcycle and they just thinking about, like, listen, we're getting old. We need someone to look after each other. We need to do this. I don't know, I kind of got me a little bit.
Ronnie
Well, I did appreciate that they did the third wedding, right. And didn't force everybody into hell. You know what I mean? Like, she didn't do the, oh, my God, I'm gonna have a big TV wedding and then we have to do a whole thing and that's gonna be a whole season. Then everybody else have this, a story. I'm glad. It's just like we're doing it at city hall. We're doing it for each other's money. The end.
Ben
You know, I thought it was lovely on like Philip Plein's fashion show.
Ronnie
Yeah. I'm not sure who. Did you just read a comment or something? Like, Ben's mean?
Ben
No, no.
Ronnie
I literally, like, you know what? I love life, people, the elderly. I love dolphins. You guys, I've adopted a dolphin. I've adopted.
Ben
Is a Miami dolphin.
Ronnie
This good person? Thursday. Bring back my husband. No, I'm just kidding.
Ben
I got sentimental. I got sentimental with their. Their little wedding thing. I don't Know, for some reason, it just sort of. When she said, you know, life is short and we' on the other. We're on the. The other side, where life is shorter, I was like. And then when she. I don't know, I. I got like, sentimental over it. So what can I say? What can I say? I'm feeling sort of nice today.
Ronnie
Well, I've got a place you can go to. The Love Life Cafe. That's you today. You're like, you know what? I love life. I'm at the Love Life Cafe today.
Ben
I love life. I love life. You know what I love more than life? Seeing spice. Sea spice. This nice. The restaurant that looks like a yacht.
Ronnie
Audriana comes in and orders from the barista. And she's like, what kind of milk would you like? And she's like, skim. Skim milk. And she goes, oat milk? And she goes, no, regular skim. Like, skim milk. Like. Like from a skinny cow, you know, don't give me fat cow milk. And she's like, we are vegan restaurant. She goes, oh, God.
Ben
Because when she said skim milk, and the lady goes, oat milk, I was like, oh, my God, are we in Los Angeles? But then it turns out that it was already milk. Was.
Ronnie
She was like, what? Huh?
Ben
Skin.
Ronnie
So that is a skim.
Ben
Yeah. Adriana is, like, mainly vegetarian, but she loves. I love a good French sausage. Dating French man now. Did you hear? So. And then she goes. And then, in case you didn't get the joke the first time, she's like, I can't stop liking French blood sausage. Okay, all right. I can't help but love French penis erection sausage. Okay. Okay.
Ronnie
Could I have a coffee with wiener sausage? Thank you. Love French wiener sausages. Only penis sausage. Coffee. Okay. Just like, please.
Ben
Will there be foam on that? Extra cream. So Julia arrives.
Ronnie
Oh, look at you.
Ben
Are you texting boyfriend or goat? She goes, no, it's actually my car insurance. I didn't even clock that when I saw it.
Ronnie
That made me laugh so hard. She's like, no, actually, it's my car insurance. She's like, oh. So there's like, oh, it's a long summer. And Julie's like, yes, long summer. And you didn't call me. Just. Well, you can pick up the phone too, and call me too. And she's like, well, of course I can. But, you know, I was like, why isn't she calling me? You know, I miss my friend. Everybody's calling me. How's the boys? What's happened with the boys? Congrats on the boys. You got boys. You have boys now. Hello. She's like, wow.
Ben
They're all saying things like, congrats on finding boys. Now you can act like total lunatic.
Ronnie
Because you don't have to be worried.
Ben
About adoption process anymore. I said, oh, thank you very much for the tip.
Ronnie
Well, you know, I was very upset that you didn't tell me before everyone else to tell you the truth. And then we see Julia's zoom call when she's telling everybody. Was Adriana even on that call?
Ben
I think she was. I don't know. You know Adriana. She does not. She does not like to not be first.
Ronnie
Well, that is weird that she's, like, going through the process with you and helping you, and she brought you onto this show, and you're her best friend, and you don't even call her. That's weird.
Ben
It's like six people beat her to the tweet. So Adriana is like. She's like, well, I mean, Alexia already saw the boy, so maybe I was a little resentful. And I think she's actually being very honest and upfront, like, yeah, I was being petty. I was resentful. You know, you're my best friend. And we see flashbacks of their friendship, and she's like, I feel a little disappointed because since I'd been through her with process, you know, I would have thought she told me privately, but she didn't. So Julia's like, you know, I probably should have told you before, you know, but Adriana is basically saying she feels a distance because Julia is getting closer to Alexi and Marisol. Yeah.
Ronnie
She's like, well, I have something to ask you. I want to have a boy shower for you and the boys. It's like a normal shower, but there's French sausages there. So I thought that would be good. And it's like, oh, my God, this is so sweet. This is good. Let us hold hands now. And let me just tell you, you are the seventh best friend to me in this group. So thank you so much. Thank you.
Ben
So now we go to stretch lab, and Kiki and Gertie have arrived to get stretched. And Gertie's like, oh, who's ready to get stretched? I'm with the troublemaker over here. Oh, we're going to stretch. We're going to goodify the stretches. And so they stretch, and it's like, wild and crazy wacky stretching scene.
Ronnie
And so now they're. They're doing the talking portion, and Kiki is like, well, listen, so Gertie's like, did that feel good? Oh, my God. Did you put the puss. Oh, my God, girl. Bye. What are you patting the puss while you're stretching? Oh, my God. Goodbye. That is too much for me. Like, I'm gonna sit down. You should sit down. Everybody should sit down. Because this girl's a lot. Okay. Did you see how this girl stretched? Did you see it? That was, like, crazy. That's a lot, girl. Oh, my God.
Ben
Yeah. And so the big thing with Gertie is that even though she's gotten through cancer, she is still carrying a lot of baggage from it. She's really insecure about her body now, and she's just trying to get things the way she wants it and get through it, et cetera. And so she's here getting stretching and yada, yada, yada. So then Gertie and Kiki are talking, and Gertie's saying that Alexia was really great all summer. She was checking in every day on how Gertie was doing. And Kiki is like, oh, because Alexia. Alexia decided to put, like, a girl's night to dinner a couple days ago, and you weren't invited, basically. She's like, yeah. So this person who was checking on you did not allow you to come to the dinner. That was all about Johnny. That was all about Alexia.
Ronnie
Yeah. She's like. And part of the problem some of the ladies are having with you is that Gertie comes across as, like, she's too much, like, extra. You know? Like, maybe she's this or she's that or she's this or she's that or she's that. That or she's this. Do you understand what I'm saying? And Gertie's like, huh? Me extra. Okay, hold on. Let me think about that. And then we cut back to Adriana and Julia talking. And so Julia's like, well, what have you been up to? It's like, well, actually, I met with Gertie and Lisa, and Gertie was saying how things aren't good between you and her. And then Adriana's like, yeah, she doesn't understand what she's done to you. Oh. She makes it about herself. That is her mo. And you know what? I have no time for that. I have no time for it. No, I have no time because I.
Ben
Have children now, and it is important for everyone to realize I have children. And whatever you're doing, please stop and acknowledge the fact that I have children. One of my favorite things on reality tv, especially on The Real Housewives is when people accuse each other of making something about themselves. Because always the implication is, I wanted to make this about me, and you made it about you. And I can't believe you would make something about you, because I'm the only one who's allowed to make it about me. That's always what it's about. And Julia. That's what Julia is doing. She's like, you didn't come onto my zoom when I wanted to make a big announcement, and that was supposed to be my moment. And you didn't honor it, and you tried to make it about you. And it's like, okay, so you're all just going in circles. And by the way, is Gertie totally extra? Absolutely. Is everyone else on this Castle cast? Absolutely. She's no different than anyone else. Alexi was just screaming and bawling in a restaurant last week.
Ronnie
They should all die.
Ben
They should all die.
Ronnie
Literally every week that she's ever been on this show, she's sobbing and crying. So Kiki's like, well, Julia said she had a problem with you something on a cruise, and you try to get attention. She's like, oh, well, apparently my good friend Julia has been talking about me behind my back. And so Julia tells the story. She's like, well, okay. A few months back, Martina and I were invited to Fabulous Cruise. And unfortunately, Martina got a little health scare, so she chose to stay home. And I called Gertie, and so Gertie sighed. She's like. And then I get a call from Julia who says, oh, my God, I need your help. Please go with me. Please. Martina can do it. I need you. I need you. Oh, my God, please. I'm dying. Please come on the cruise. Cruise, Please, I'm dying. Do it. And she said, would you like me.
Ben
To come with you? Yes. And she asked me to come because she was distraught and needed emotional support. I said, I will goodify this cruise. So I went on the cruise to support a friend. It's the basics of it all.
Ronnie
And then she make it all about herself. The connection she would make there, the picture she would take. And she never said, julia, how are you? How is Martinez? Not once. Not once on cruise.
Ben
There was.
Ronnie
There were a lot of things about.
Ben
This boat cruise, and I gave Gertie many chances.
Ronnie
And then I seen with my own.
Ben
Eyes how she acted with others. I just felt uncomfortable in her company. And next time, the person I bring onto the cruise will be Goat.
Ronnie
I think Gertie. I love Gertie Turner phrases. She goes I don't know what's her deal, but trust you'll be me. Me. Whatever she's saying out there, it ain't what it ain't.
Ben
I'm like, not one of that.
Ronnie
Not one section of that made any sense. And I loved it. I was like, can't he just narrate everything in my life? Listen, trust you be me.
Ben
I ain't what I ain't.
Ronnie
It ain't what it ain't.
Ben
It ain't what it ain't. It's almost papa. Also, by the way, I just want to point out Gertie actually has a job in a company and Julia doesn't. And so Gertie going on to a cruise and trying to get clients for her party planning business. I don't think that's outrageous. I think that's actually something that you should be proud of and supporting because she's networking and trying to actually do something with her life.
Ronnie
Well, what makes it even more ridiculous is that we find out later that this is a Captain Sandy cruise. It's one of those.
Ben
I look, it's Captain Sandy.
Ronnie
Yeah, it's like one of those Captain Sandy appearances, clearance things where people go pay to get a picture with Cat, like a women empowerment cruise or whatever that they were invited to go on. Captain Sandy's inviting them because they're Bravo liberties who will put it on their Instagram. And the whole thing is about taking pictures and putting it on your fucking gram. That's what the whole event is. So to be mad that she's doing that, especially as a real housewife who married a celebrity named Martina, is ridiculous.
Ben
Yeah. And Gertie has a very strong point about this. But I will wait for her to make it later on. But Gertie kind of in my mind comes up with the. The strongest, strongest, strongest point of all that I think is totally. There's just no way that that Julia can even counter it, which is why she ultimately throws a glass of water on her, I think. So Julia's like, it was cruise. We stay in beautiful suite. She gets all Martinez messages and all the lunches and. I'm sorry, all Martinez massage crashes, not messages. And all the lunches and all the dinner and she got complimentary DVD set of some TV show called Wind. I don't understand. But except this one dinner where Martina was supposed to go, and because she didn't go, the person removed her from. From guest list and got it through such a fit at me, like. Yeah, because if you invite your friend to go on to a Cruise. And then you go to a dinner and you leave your friend behind, and your friend just has to go to some other restaurant. Restaurant. That's absolutely obnoxious. And you should know better. You say, if my friend isn't on the list and I'm not going to this dinner, and not like, see you later. Have fun at, like, the. Oh, you can eat shrimp next to Bob from Iowa.
Ronnie
Yeah. And she's like, well, it's weird. I'm on a cruise for you. But then you switch it up on me and you tell me to go to a restaurant over there, which, by the way, they didn't even have my reservation. And then, like, I'm a seat feller, so I feel less than. And now she has the nerve to say I betrayed her. Come on. Julia's, like, trying to ruin my life, like, to talk shit about me. And, like, they don't want me to be. They don't. She doesn't want them to be on my side. And that is bizarre. It is bizarre. And Kiki's like, okay, but you need to tone it down, you know, because I'm your friend, and you gotta listen to me. Like, maybe tone it down because they don't like you being extra. Okay, Kiki, out of all the people on this cast, you're gonna sit down and tell her she's being. You carry hamburgers in your purse.
Ben
You.
Ronnie
Your favorite.
Ben
Precisely.
Ronnie
Whip out in every scene is a dildo or a vibrator. I mean, give me a break. So she's like, you're just too extra. There is nothing wrong with my personality. And so Kiki's like, theragunning her own head. She's like, oh, my God, I'm just trying to help this lady. Maybe I could do it with a theragun to my head.
Ben
We are going to work through the weeds and pick them out, because I don't have time for hypocrisy now. Let's also say that. That. Do I. Gertie is also painting herself as this person who's like, well, you know, there wasn't room for me at the restaurant, so I went to a different restaurant and I sat there politely. You know, Gertie also had probably some meltdowns as well. Like, you know, these are two Real Housewives. And, like, Gertie is not known for being chill all the time either. So I'm sure there was like, it's not all Gertie. What Gertie said was complete is exactly how it went. But I kind of feel like, regardless of how people acted. I think if we. What we know is that there was a dinner, that there was no seat for Gertie, and Julia went to the dinner anyway. I think that's just totally shitty, and she should not have done that to her friend, even if her friend was having a meltdown outside. You should support your friend in that moment. Not.
Ronnie
Not just to get a picture of your friend is crazy, too. Like, to just dump her after and then try and have her excluded from everything is really shitty. You know, Commercials. Here comes one right now. So then we go to Canada where Lisa has, you know, a sad scene about her dad and stuff. And, you know, we see Jody had photos of the dad, and she's saying, like, even though she was late to making up with her dad, she's glad that she did, you know, and you should always make up with your dad. So then we go to the Museum of Ice Cream, and Kiki's there with her daughter, Summer, and her mother, who's so cute. And is her mother's name Girlen? I love that.
Ben
I think so. B U I R L E N E gwerland. Maybe. I'm not sure how you actually pronounce that, but yeah, her mom has this nice sort of like outfit on and everything. And the daughter, Summer, is just like running through. And all that Summer wants in life, much like me, to be honest, is chocolate ice cream. And like, they keep on offering her ice cream around every corner of this museum. And she's like, oh, chocolate.
Ronnie
Do you want a banana? No chocolate. Okay. Would you like to try this beautiful sorbet? No chocolate. Chocolate? No, like chocolate.
Ben
Hello, little girl. We've got something special for you. Just on time for this. No chocolate.
Ronnie
And every room's like a different theme. It's this crazy place. And she just keeps going into every room. They offer something different. And it's never chocolate. She's just like, can I get some chocolate?
Ben
Yeah. How did they. How do they not have chocolate during any of this experience?
Ronnie
You're ready to get some chocolate in this place. Like, so we've got mango, banana, kiwi sorbet, no chocolate. So then we talk about Kiki and her mom end up sitting down and talking about Kiki's father, right? So the mom's like, you know, are you gonna talk to your dad? She's like, I don't know. Like, I mean, look, I understand you did everything thing to make sure that I have an okay relationship with my dad. And he's coming from Haiti. So I'm making a plan to see if I can pick him up from the airport or something. Just. No, you need to be. He's a father, and no matter what he might have done, he's always going to be a father. And she's like, he kicked me out, mom, when I was 15 and treated.
Ben
You like you, by the way. Yeah, yeah. And she's like. And also, he. She. He treated you like crap, too, Mom. And she's like, yeah, that's true, but whatever. Still your father. Still your father. And basically the mom is like, I don't care, really what he did and what he didn't do, but he's still your father. I don't care. So she's just like, you have to have that. You must, must, must have that bond, no matter how much of a dick he is.
Ronnie
Yeah. And Kiki's like, well, after years of not speaking to him, now he's reaching out to me, which, yeah, of course, because he wants you to take care of his ass. Now you're on TV and he's getting old, and so now he wants to. Someone to take care of him. And you should do exactly what he did to you and ignore him and pretend he's dead.
Ben
Absolutely.
Ronnie
That's what I say. I don't care if people are your family. They don't have the right to treat you like that. That's ridiculous. Boundaries.
Ben
Correct. So, yeah, basically. But then Kiki is saying that, like, you know, her daughter doesn't really know her grandfather, and she does think it's important for her daughter to have a grandfather, so she's considering bringing it all together. So it's basically back to back scenes about daughters and fathers and what you owe to those relationships and how. How much of a toxic relationship you let back into your life. It's interesting. And now it's over. So now we go over to Marisol's wedding celebration and. Oh, Alexis at Sea Spice. Hello. Oh, my God. Oh, okay. Lindo. What? Okay. This is beautiful. Seaspice. This is like, the biggest yacht I've ever seen. Scene. And so then we see, you know, all the decorations. It's really nice. And then there's, like, family. That's there. Marisol's brother Tommy, who I don't know if we ever met Tommy back in the first few seasons. I don't remember him. But it's wild because, like, I never would have thought they were a brother and sister.
Ronnie
And, well, I mean, Marisol doesn't look like anybody in the family anymore, you know, so. So Mary saw. Come. Wait, is Mary Saw there? Yeah. Yet.
Ben
No, she's not there yet.
Ronnie
So Lars is like, oh, my God, Alexi, like. Like, I haven't, like, seen you since, like, the trip. Like. Like, it was like, so good. So what's going on with you and Todd? Like, are things better? Things, like, worse? And she's like, oh, my God. Like, last week I had a breakdown. And by last week I meant earlier today as he's vice, but also last week too, and the week before that. Oh, my God. Did I tell you that Todd moved out in front of Frankie like you told me? Like.
Ben
Yeah. Like, okay, all right, so, like, let's remember that. Let's, like, go over that again. Todd moved out in front of Frankie. Just wanted to get that in. So, like, I'm in, like, emotional limbo. And, you know, like, that, you know, I got like, that 30 day notice. That's so crazy. Like, and you have to make a decision though, right? She's like, I mean, he kind of does, like, you know, the ball's really more into in his court. And she's like, is Lexi losing her memory? Like, Todd is not that great. Like, he's like, not even hot. Like, I don't even think that, like, I could be waiting for my husband to tell me if we're staying together or breaking up with me. To me, that's like a deal breaker in itself. Like, I'm like, isn't first season back in the reboot, you sitting around waiting for Scotty to sign divorce paper. Literally, you waiting for him to say whether or not this is over.
Ronnie
Oh, yeah, I guess so.
Ben
Huh.
Ronnie
I forgot that. So she's like, oh, my God, like, stop. Like, letting him, like, control, like, your heart. Like, it's like danger, like the U.S. and so she's like, oh, my God. So people start arriving and Julia comes with the bouquet. Everyone's wearing white, and they're just saying hi and all that good stuff. So then they start talking about Gertie. And Lars is like, is anyone coming besides, like, Mary? So, like, and they say Gertie. And Kiki's like, speaking of Gertie, she feels like Julia is brainwashing you guys. And Julia's like, oh, oh, oh. Is she threatened of me? Is she threatened of me? This is what she said to me. Oh, really? Oh, really?
Ben
So Gertie walks up and she's like, hello, I'm here to party, honey, I'm here to party. And she says hi to Julia and she's like, oh, look at you, Julia. You look just like a friend. That used to know.
Ronnie
How are you?
Ben
Oh, oh, really? Okay.
Ronnie
So do you. So do you. Julia with the epic comebacks. Oh, still to you. So Gertie is like, yeah, Julia's playing Betty Boop. Like, oh, oh. Kiss, kiss, kiss. You know, I'm watching and I'm ready. Boop. I'm ready. Bring it on. Boop. I've always wanted to beat the out of Betty Boop. Bring it. Bring it to me.
Ben
So now Marisol, now she has. She has this eye patch on with the money money sign on it. And they're riding in a cab or in a car to this. To this thing. And Marisol, she just thinks it's like a little family dinner. And she says, you know, people wake up with a lot of different things. Weird dudes. My clothes are on the floor. Sometimes you might wake up, there's a parrot in your room because left the window open, maybe an iguana. Crazy. I woke up with a sty. That was a big wind up. Just to say, I've got a sigh.
Ronnie
And Steve's kids are there saying, oh, it's a family dinner. Call me mommy. It'll be hilarious. Am I your mommy now? Call me your mommy. Call me.
Ben
No one even tries to. By the way, no one even tries to surprise Marisol because she now arrives and she walks. Walks up the stairs. She goes, oh, it's like a lot of people here. And they're like, should we surprise her? No, she'll just let her walk in.
Ronnie
Yeah, but Marisol's going to get here, and there's no more food. We did that on purpose. Marisol does not like food. She gets very offended. So she's like, oh, my God, it's so hard to see with this pants. Gosh, your mommy's half blind, so this kind of half surprise her. And Keegan, he's like, oh, my God, she has one eye. She's a pirate. Why is she a pirate? Yeah, why?
Ben
She looks like.
Ronnie
Why is she, like, a pirate?
Ben
Like, yeah, like, why is she a pirate? Like a pirate. Like xyz. Like, why are you doing that? Like, what happened to your eye muscle? What did Steve do to you last night? Is it Halloween already? Like, I didn't realize it was a costume party. Like, I'm like, lars, so you're wearing a flesh mask right now. You're always in costume.
Ronnie
You look like you're in Mission Impossible right now. You're like Tom Cruise's fifth mask.
Ben
Like, you know, it's like Tom Cruise when he's just. When he's just putting the fingers right under the chin, about to take it off, so there's, like, a little bit of ripple under it. Yes.
Ronnie
Oh, Alexia really nailed the guest list. I mean, I'm just so happy she forgot someone's number. Her name rhymes with an A. If you don't know, I'm talking blood sausages from France. Okay, so.
Ben
All right. Hey. Okay. Hey, kids, let's try this again. You want to call me Mom? Mommy? Anyone? Okay, waiter. Do you want to call me someone? For crying out loud, call me Mommy. I mean, I put this whole eye patch on and everything. Come on. Can I get a little bit of sympathy around here?
Ronnie
Steve's like, we can do step Mommy, maybe. Yeah. Why don't you guys call her Ma? She Ma. What do I have? Foul hillbilly. Come on. Jeez.
Ben
Funny story, everyone. When I woke up this morning, Steve always wakes me up and gives me kisses. But this morning, he goes, I love you, wifey. And I was like, ah. He goes, you got a big sty in your eyes. I'm only. Get me a patch. Okay, Great story, guys. Right? Okay. My day.
Ronnie
So she's talking to Tommy, her brother, and she's like, oh, does this pirate patch is what. I'm channeling dad, Am I right? He goes, oh, yo. Yeah, my dad had the same growly voice as a pirate, right? Do you think that Steve looks like dad? Huh? And Tommy's like, well, he's not nearly as mean as dad, that's for sure.
Ben
Door.
Ronnie
It's like, wow, we're having, like, a sensitive. Our dads are dead. Let's, like, be sensitive to this story, sir. It's like that. Am I right?
Ben
Marisol's like, okay, awkward. Do I have another eye patch to put the other one so I can get out of here?
Ronnie
He's like, rest in piss, dad.
Ben
So the good thing is that Marisol, not only is she getting married today, but she's learning a little bit of empathy. Because as she walks to the table to sit with the girls, she's like, well, I have a new relationship. Respect for people who lost an eye. I mean, this is very constricting. This is like when Tyra Banks put on the fat suit. Like, wow, you never know until you walk in someone else's shoes.
Ronnie
So Kiki asked about Milan, and Lars is like, yeah, but, like, we were, like, having a conversation about my ex. And I was like, I don't want blogs to say, like, my friend is, like, hanging out, like, with my ex. Like, when he's, like, publicly, like, Bashing, like, me. Like, like, that doesn't, like, make me, like, feel good. Like, you know what I mean? Like, like, and then, like, I want this, like, person out of my life. Like, and like, Lisa's my friend. So, like, you guys break up and, like, I never speak to you again. No offense. Okay? But, like, my loyalty is to Lisa. So, like, that really bothered him. And then we got along. But then, like, in the end he, like, got really mad at us and he got like, super furious. And like, oh, my God, he got so mad. Like, so crazy. Like, and Julia goes, happy were his eyeballs.
Ben
I'm going to show you a photo of his eyeballs. Like, I just wish that, like, Judge Fabulous were still here so I could enter this into evidence. Like, so she pulls out the phone and she shows everyone this photo and they're like, whoa.
Ronnie
And we see close up of the photo. I agree with the second count, I have to say. And you know, I love finding cokey eyes. And we know he's probably a big cokehead because of his AC episode last episode or whatever, but he does just kind of look like that anyway. I don't know. He's kind of a crazy eyed person.
Ben
I mean, we see a shot of. We do see him, I think again in the episode or I don't know, but I remember looking at his eyes and his eyes are not normally as open as that in. At least in the next shot that I saw of him or maybe I went back, but his eyelids were sort of like more normally like at like Dave from Garfield level. But so his eyes were definitely very big. But I didn't think it was necessarily like a damning photo. I was like, it could just be like a flash went off like, yeah.
Ronnie
But if it's to the point where all of your friends are like, oh, my God, what were his eyeballs? Balls. Like, then that means, like, that's bad when he's got that reputation that in a. In a town that's built on coke, everybody's like, oh, my God. What? Resign balls.
Ben
True. Thanks. Like, Kiki. Kiki's like, I mean, I've seen Jody's eyes looking crazy before, but this was a special crazy. So I guess like, there, there's something to be like, if you're landing on Kiki's crazy eye radar, that's not nothing.
Ronnie
But I kind of agree with Alexia, who's like, like, girl, those are Jody's eyes. That's how they look. He looks completely normal to me.
Ben
And dirty's like, that could have been A flash issue. I mean, sometimes the flashes and you're coming, it blinds your eyes. And you're like. Especially if you. Like, all the photographers are following you because you're the real celebrity there. But then somehow you don't have a seat at the dinner. So then Lars is just. Lars is just mad and trying to be petty.
Ronnie
Ultimately, she's basically saying, like, listen, he's, like, controlling. That guy's, like, controlling trolling of Lisa. And she's like, I love him, though. And I was like, no, because he's. He's, like, controlling. Like, I'm concerned about her because, like, I think he wants her money. Like.
Ben
Everyone'S like, what money is that?
Ronnie
He's like, her dad's money. Did her dad have money? And she goes, but, like, access, you know, because, like, she'll never even get on, like, call these days. Like, like a business call without him on the phone. And then we see a flashback where Jody's, like, in the limo, Jody's like, you know, you didn't sign that deal properly. You need to send those deals to me. Because you're, like, missing stuff. It's like, okay, you're right. But maybe he's just helping her because she's Lisa.
Ben
You know what I mean? Totally inept. She is not. I'm sorry. People seem to forget their own storylines on these shows. Lisa got with Jody because Jody is the one with money.
Ronnie
Last year, they were. They were saying that she was only with him for his money. And this year they're like, he's using her for her money money.
Ben
So he doesn't really have money. So, like, she. She's. That's why Jody is there, because he's wealthy. And I think that Jody being like, hey, so remember how you sent in that contract, but there were errors all over it? Yeah. Next time, send it to me. Remember I said, don't send it because there might be errors. I don't think that he's, like, trying to control her. I think he's trying to make her not look like an idiot in business.
Ronnie
That's what it seemed like. But, you know, I don't know. We haven't really seen enough of Jody for me to have any idea. So Kiki's like, so he's a gold digger. And Gardy's like, oh, my God. How did you and Lisa end it? What happened? Did you fly on the same flight? Did you say goodbye? Like, how did it happen? Did Captain Sandy say bye to you? Or did Julia tell her not to.
Ben
Like, tell me that I Left, like, oh, did you invite her tonight? Oh, well, you know, Lisa's father passed away, so Lisa's in Canada. I called them up. I said, oh, my God, I hope I'm not in the middle of the funeral. And it turns out I was.
Ronnie
So I said, let me give a speech on FaceTime. And I said, listen, Lisa's father was such a good person, unlike Todd, who laughed in front of Frankie. Are you very sad?
Ben
I don't like that Lisa. That Larsa picked this time to talk about Lisa and Jody while Lisa's grieving her father's death. I don't think that. Did Larsa know this? I'm not sure. So, you know, I'm not gonna defend Larsa. I'm sure she absolutely knew. She knew about this. So Marisol was like, what?
Ronnie
You know, so they're like, well, was she even close with her dad? Someone's like, was she close? And Gertie's like, oh, they just made up. They just made up. You know, it was nice. It was very nice. So now we move to the Congratulations. Julia just starts screaming, marisa, congratulations on your wedding. Oh, my God. Look at me. I'm cheering the loudest. Still cheering. Wow. Look, this is how you do it to a friend. Thank you. Thank you for showing up for my zoom call. Yes. Congratulations.
Ben
Yeah, she's being, like, loud and performative. Probably drunk, too. Like, we've seen in seasons past that Julia is actually a really bad drunk. And so Gertie is like, what the hell? You know? And she's like, am I crazy because they called me too much? And yet Julia is the one being most extra of all of us. So Julia's getting another drink, and Gertie starts to tell the women about their rift and about how there's, like. You know, she's like, wow, Julia has a problem with me, or whatever. And Julia is just, like, drunk, and she's like, around the guys, and she's.
Ronnie
Like, I'm in middle of you. I'm middle of Marisol and Steve.
Ben
Yes.
Ronnie
Kiss. Oh, my God.
Ben
I like watching you kiss. I'm like, hyena, who wants to be voyeur? Oh, it's so exciting. Watch Kiss.
Ronnie
So she comes back to the table, and Kiki's like, julia, I think you two should really talk. And she's. And Gertie's like, sure. And she goes, I don't know about that. That. Will you want to do it with the group or. Oh, you. You do this producing. Don't do this producing. Okay. What? Wow. What Is this. What are you doing? What are you.
Ben
Gertie is being totally chill, and Julia has her finger all up in Gertie's face like. Like, like. And this continues, like, the whole scene. Julia's fingers are in Gertie's face like, I am. I applaud Gertie for not slapping those things away, because I'm sure it took a lot of willpower not to. So Julia's like, you're not clarifying anything.
Ronnie
And you're not producing anything.
Ben
Okay, well, how many of those drinks have you had? I am not. I don't think the answer to how many of those drinks have you had is I am not.
Ronnie
She's screaming at her and yelling, and Gertie's like, okay, we're not talking then, okay? Because you're screaming. You're like a hyena. Just, I am screaming. I am a hyena. I am. Am. I am a hyena. She goes, okay, this is not the farm. This is not the farm. Okay? I am hyena. I am hyena. I have farm, by the way. I have farm. Come on. Farm of hyenas.
Ben
Come at me.
Ronnie
Oh, you've been talking shit behind my back all summer. All summer. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. You're an animal. This is not an animal farm. You're disgusting. You are disgusting.
Ben
What the hell? My mother would be mortified.
Ronnie
Elsa Cliff going, tell them. Act like ladies.
Ben
Look, I'm so. I'm so sorry, Steve. I'm so sorry that this is happening. Oh, what?
Ronnie
You. You are in my suite at my.
Ben
Jacuzzi, talking badly about Alexia, talking badly about the group.
Ronnie
Oh, animal. Animal. What's happening? What's happening? There's an animal over there. Oh, I am hyena, and I am proud to be hyena. Oh, you are. Go sit down. That's what hyenas do. They think, sit. Go sit. Your hyenas call you out.
Ben
You call. I call you out.
Ronnie
I am a calling out hyena. And she gets right in her face, and Gertie's like, what are you going to do? Touch me? Just never, never in my life.
Ben
So she's like, go sit down and be a human. And so everyone else is, like, watching. All the other guests are like, oh, my God, this is crazy. What's happening? Yeah, and they're all just staring, just blatantly staring, like, this is full on, like, gladiator stuff.
Ronnie
Now. Find your words. Find your words. Do not spit on me. Don't spit on me. Your saliva is all over my. Disgusting. Disgusting Hyena animal. Non sitting hyena. Disgusting. All right, guys, can you sit down? Stop. This is great, isn't it guys? I love this. All right, everybody sit down. Just kidding. Don't do it. And call each other names. I'm loving this. Oh really? She's been all summer talking to everybody else. It's just ridiculous. Oh, why do I want to talk to you? You are so self centered. I took you on a boat. A boat. Because you wanted to go on boat. You begged to go on boat. People want to go on boat. I take you on boat. And you not like, well, I just.
Ben
Left the fucking boat. You're the one who freaking called me. Okay? And so, and so then she's up again. She'll sit your ass down, girl. Just freaking sit your ass down right now.
Ronnie
This is not an opera show, okay? We were all invited actually in one cruise, you know, there were three itineraries. I chose itinerary one so she couldn't make it. And it was myself, Russell were on this cruise. We had the most amazing time on the cruise. And we know what this is. This is Virgin telling all the ladies you can come on these cruises and you, you get like a week for your influencer cruise or whatever. I'm sure that's what I'm guessing it is because they've got like a big thing with Virgin this year. So Gertie already went on her cruise with Russell and Martina and this chick chose another cruise. So she's coming back from her cruise and Martina couldn't go on the next cruise. And, and Gertie's like, I don't want to go on another cruise, but if you need me to, I will. Who wants to go on a cruise twice in a row? Nobody. That's. They're fun, but they're also like a pain in the ass, you know?
Ben
Well, it's also like if you're coming home from, from vacation, then you find out as you're unpacking that day that you have to go back out on vacation. Like, we all love vacation, but there's also a mental moment where you say, okay, time to get back to real life. I can finally like take care of my things again. So Gertie's like, well, I'm literally unpacking. I'm with rest of them saying, what's wrong? What's wrong? She's literally hysterical. Good friend that I am. I said, julia, what's wrong with Martina? And she does not want to go with me now. So she says, I will tell you on the ship, manipulator. And I say, okay, I'm going to go on the ship.
Ronnie
I will go.
Ben
So I literally repack. I literally repack everyone. Not figuratively. I literally put things back in. Be quiet, Be quiet. Be quiet.
Ronnie
Don't you tell me you're fucking psycho. And then she throws her drink at her. What the hell, Julia?
Ben
She. It was wild. She throws a drink at her, which also gets Kiki, too, and Alexia ducks and everything.
Ronnie
Liar.
Ben
Martina had a cancer situation. And Gertie. I mean, this is. This is. This is crazy. And never mind the fact that there's all sorts of microaggressions, like, just floating all over the place from Julia around this whole situation. But Gertie is now, like, she's completely wet, which is mortifying. And everyone's like. Steve's like, they're gonna kick us out. So Julie's like, you're a liar.
Ronnie
You're a liar.
Ben
Martina had biopsy.
Ronnie
I told you this on phone. You are a liar. You're doing everything for your social media. So Martina had a biopsy. So you went on a cruise.
Ben
A, yes.
Ronnie
And B, you're throwing woman cancer on the woman. Woman. You're throwing water on the woman with cancer. Like, yeah, still going through the aftermath of cancer. Well, you can't use cancer against a cancer person. Stupid.
Ben
Exactly. And that was Gertie's strongest point, which is like, if Martinez going has a health scare, you are the one who should have been back there. And you're blaming me for it. So Gertie is. Gertie is saying, you know, like, you know. What do you mean? Search your media? Because I guess she. She. Julia's saying that Jordy does everything for social media because.
Ronnie
Because you never. You used me. You used me for social media.
Ben
You were brought on to the boat for social media.
Ronnie
No one's using you for social media. Gertie's more famous than you. She doesn't need to use you for social media, you weirdo.
Ben
Yeah. She's like, you use me for social media.
Ronnie
You use.
Ben
You completely used me.
Ronnie
You.
Ben
You were using her. You said, come on to this boat. I need. I need you to come on here. And it's as evidence based by the fact that then when he didn't need her, you just didn't even fight for her to come into your dinner that you had on the boat.
Ronnie
Yeah. So Julia's like, all she wanted is to promote herself. She didn't. She wanted to be invited to be very Special event. Because Captain Sandy was there. Well, yeah. So you have her go on a Captain Sandy cruise and then have her seat filled for the Captain Sandy day. That's annoying.
Ben
It's like, clearly a Bravo Liberty thing. Like, yeah, that's. It is shitty.
Ronnie
It's like you're trying to. To. To take her out of this thing. Like, you're all on Bravo. Why? What the. Wouldn't she be there? That's weird that she has to sit there and wait in some other restaurant while you're, like, getting on Captain Sandy's nuts the whole day. It's weird.
Ben
So Julia's like, never once that she.
Ronnie
Has a Martina is feeling.
Ben
To me, it was clear Gertie was here for Gertie. So Gertie, meanwhile, is like, well, I'm going to continue the story. Because she's like, I don't care that I'm wet. I'm going to state my case. And she goes, low class, lowest class, no class. Now, let's get back to the problem at hand. Martina has an issue. She gets on the boat and she leaves Martina. And that's the issue. And you're trying to spin it all around.
Ronnie
Don't get involved with my family.
Ben
You made me involved when you invited me on the ship to be with you because of Martina. Just the same way you got a facelift while Martina was in York getting chemo.
Ronnie
Oh, my God. It's like, do not deflect. Do not deflect. And I'm like, wow, her face looks crazy great.
Ben
I know.
Ronnie
And so Gertie's like, I'm not. Look at yourself and realize what you're doing, even though it looks very less wrinkly. And she's like, yeah, well, you stupid. And she's like, all you got to say is, gertie, I have a problem. But you waited almost a year. Just, no, I did not want to have anything to do with you, so I didn't wait. So, yeah, I didn't wait to talk to you about it. I just dumped you, is what she's saying. God, Julia is really out of pocket here. What the happened?
Ben
You really is like, wow. Like, really, really out of pocket. So Kiki is basically like, yeah, I'm gonna leave. She's like, if I get water thrown on my face, I will say my point and leave. I wouldn't sit there and be like, bring it on. So she's like, by the way, everyone, I came in dry, and I leave all wet. Thank you.
Ronnie
Yeah. But at the same time, Kiki, why are you Spending this episode lecturing Gertie on being too extra and this and that. And meanwhile, you've got this other lady throwing drinks all over people and screaming about nothing, and no one says anything to her. But Gertie's the problem. What the fuck's going on on this show? They're not.
Ben
Yeah, it's also hilarious, but, yeah, they are nuts. So then Lars is like, guys, we're not going to fix this problem tonight. Like, but I just want to say something. We're here for Marisol. Like, so let's talk about Lisa and how. How terrible she is.
Ronnie
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Thanks a lot. And Gertie's like. I feel like a pun for a sorority haze, so. Kudos. Kudos. Julia, you just made the mean girl sorority. And then a wedding cake comes out, and Marisol's like, steve, boom, bear. Everybody has been such a magical evening, even to my children. Am I right? Call me Mommy. Call me Mom.
Ben
Okay.
Ronnie
He called me. Hey, just. What?
Ben
I just wanted to be over. Take off, Mike. I'm going to cry hyena tears.
Ronnie
And Lars, I just wanted her to stop. You're the one screaming at her. What is wrong with you? And throwing drinks. Get her out of here. Here. Jeez. Just.
Ben
How can a friend say those things to me? I feel embarrassed to be in front of Marisol for allowing Garrity to get.
Ronnie
The best of me.
Ben
I just wanted her to stop. You started. Gertie was like, do you. Gertie was trying to start a normal, civilized conversation with you, and you acted like a total monster.
Ronnie
Yeah. Julia. Wow. What an idiot. I've never seen somebody turn that fat. Well, I mean, we've seen it multiple times. What am I saying? But I know. Well, that was a really good, really quick fall from grace for Julia.
Ben
Wow. Are we gonna be on Adriana's side about the fallout in their relationship?
Ronnie
Yeah, I'm already on Adriana's side because she's just dumped Adriana, too. For what? Yeah, that's how she is. She, like, gets on a show and then she dumps everybody to, like, hang out with the cool girls or who she considers to be the cool girls. Stupid Julia, those girls are gonna dump you, and they're gonna turn on you the second they can. So have fun with that. Stupid, stupid.
Ben
Wow. Wild. Wild. Wild, Wild. Well, that was it, everyone. The wedding happened, and chaos ensued. Thanks, everyone, for being here. We always appreciate you, and we will catch you on the next episode.
Ronnie
Bye.
Ben
Bye. Watch what happens. Would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King Our.
Ronnie
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Ben
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Ronnie
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Ben
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Ronnie
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt we never miss her call It's.
Ben
Diane call Aaron mcnicholas she don't miss no Trickolus Hava Nagila Weber you'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go we all go for Hugo Jamie she has no less.
Ronnie
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Ben
Trotch she's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock.
Ronnie
She gets an A It's Kelly B. Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera whatever will be Will Lauren.
Ben
Sills be bringing the funk?
Ronnie
It's Leslie Plunkett she gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lee Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.
Ben
Berg this is Living with Michelle Vivian.
Ronnie
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Ben
Is swell It's Raquel, yes, sweet Canna It's Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Eldredge the Bay Area Betches Betches and our super.
Ronnie
Premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
Ben
Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.
Ronnie
We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
Ben
Let'S get real with Caitlin o' Neal.
Ronnie
Don'T get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides Let's go into the woods with guys.
Ben
Guy Tubbs who, what, why, where?
Ronnie
And Gwen Pentland it's our queen It's.
Ben
Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish. It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch She's a little bit loony Junie Knock, knock, Knocking on Katie Manock's door My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron she's a wiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it It's Lola.
Ronnie
Al Kalani the incredible edible Matthews sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose we're on the floor with Molly Dorsett There's a chance of meatballs It's.
Ben
Rebecca Cloud she's the queen bee It's.
Ronnie
Sarah Lemke we cannot tell if a lie It's Sarah tell of son Shannon.
Ben
Out of a can and Anthony come on check your body baby do the Sydney Congdon let's take off with Tamla.
Ronnie
Plane It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo she ain't no shrinking violet Cootar we love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcast Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondry.com survey.
Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens – Episode #2905
Title: RHOM S7E3: A Wedding, A Funeral, And a Very UnGOATlike Fall From Grace
Release Date: June 26, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Platform: Wondery
In Episode #2905 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the tumultuous events of Season 7, Episode 3 of The Real Housewives of Miami (RHOM). Titled "A Wedding, A Funeral, And a Very UnGOATlike Fall From Grace," the episode navigates through high-stakes weddings, personal dramas, and explosive confrontations that underscore the complex relationships among the cast members.
The episode centers around Marisol and Steve's highly anticipated third wedding, a significant event that promises both celebration and chaos.
Ben's Excitement:
"I have to say, I mean, Miami is just. It's so good. It really is up there with Salt Lake City... I was just thoroughly. I was just like cracking up at this ridiculous shit show."
(04:03)
Ronnie on the Wedding Reception:
"This episode is three of season seven, episode three, and it's called the worst Wedding ever, which is something on Bravo that's quite a claim to make."
(05:00)
Despite previous weddings on the show being relatively controlled, this third ceremony spirals into disorder. The reception becomes the focal point of drama with a loud, water-flinging fight that leaves both hosts mortified.
The hosts dissect the intricate web of relationships among the housewives, highlighting tensions and alliances.
Ben's Commentary on Philip Plein:
"You have to really, like, take advantage, like, of the advantage of your opportunity... I'm going to take a seat for myself. I have decided to put myself in time out."
(10:42)
Ronnie on Julia's Behavior:
"You're an animal. This is not an animal farm. You're disgusting. You are disgusting."
(61:18)
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the fallout between Julia and Gertie, culminating in a heated confrontation where Julia throws a drink at Gertie, escalating their conflict to a personal level.
The episode also explores how past events, such as previous weddings and personal losses, influence the current dynamics among the housewives.
Ronnie Reflecting on Past Weddings:
"Sometimes it just takes a decade, you know?"
(18:14)
Ben on Marisol's Evolution:
"Farther than anyone else, because I have the confidence of knowing that I was a chunky child model. So suck at anybody who has anything to say."
(10:58)
There are mentions of new cast members and their integration into the show's existing framework, which adds fresh tension and alliances.
The hosts discuss overarching themes such as the importance of setting boundaries and showing empathy within friendships.
Kiki on Setting Boundaries:
"You're just too extra. There is nothing wrong with my personality."
(42:05)
Ben on Empathy in Relationships:
"I just wanted her to stop. You started."
(69:43)
Ben on the Unfolding Drama:
"This is the worst wedding party ever. You can put that in the trailer."
(08:19)
Ronnie on Julia's Overreaction:
"You are disgusting."
(61:18)
Ben Reflecting on Personal Growth:
"I'm feeling sort of nice today."
(29:54)
Ronnie on Friendship Fallout:
"She's like, I love him, though."
(56:33)
Ben and Ronnie provide a candid and humorous analysis of the episode, emphasizing the unpredictable nature of reality TV and the intense interpersonal conflicts it fosters. They highlight the irony of multiple weddings leading to more drama rather than resolution and critique the performative aspects of cast members such as Julia. The hosts also explore deeper themes like the struggle between personal ambition and maintaining genuine relationships, underscoring the delicate balance the housewives must navigate.
The episode ultimately portrays a cycle of weddings and confrontations that seem to perpetuate rather than resolve tensions, reflecting the cyclical nature of reality TV drama. Ben and Ronnie's reflections suggest a weariness with the repetitive chaos, yet they acknowledge the compelling entertainment value it provides.
Episode #2905 of Watch What Crappens offers an in-depth and entertaining breakdown of RHOM Season 7, Episode 3, capturing the essence of reality TV's blend of glamour and conflict. Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam skillfully navigate through the episode's key events, providing listeners with a comprehensive understanding of the show's dramatic twists and turns, all while maintaining their signature blend of praise, ridicule, and affectionate mockery.