#2907 Below Deck S12E05: Curl, Interrupted

Summary

Watch What Crappens: Episode #2907 Summary Below Deck Season 12, Episode 5: "Curl, Interrupted"

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Introduction

In Episode #2907 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the chaotic waters of Below Deck Season 12, Episode 5, titled "Curl, Interrupted." This episode unearthed a plethora of drama both among the crew and the guests, offering plenty of material for Ben and Ronnie to dissect, mock, and celebrate. From interpersonal conflicts to operational mishaps, the episode showcased the unpredictable nature of life aboard a luxury yacht.

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Crew Dynamics and Conflicts

One of the central themes of "Curl, Interrupted" revolves around escalating tensions within the crew. Ben and Ronnie highlight multiple instances where miscommunication and personal issues lead to friction.

• Fraser’s Leadership Struggles: Fraser's attempts to manage his team take a hit as he grapples with maintaining authority. Ben notes, “I need to make sure the timing is okay so you don't fail again in front of Captain Carrie like you did last year” (07:30), emphasizing Fraser's frustration with repeated crew errors.

• Ko’s Repeated Mistakes: The episode reaches a boiling point when Ko consistently fails to execute simple tasks, culminating in his dismissal. Ronnie humorously remarks, “You need to be better because I'm the one who's getting yelled at right now” (29:54), underscoring the captain’s exasperation.

• Celine’s Spiral Staircase Saga: Solene (Celine) continues her ongoing battle with the yacht's spiral staircase, repeatedly tripping and sustaining minor injuries. Ben quips, “She’s just so eager to get off the staircase that she's like, I'm willing to risk paralysis just to get off these steps” (09:59), highlighting the absurdity of her repeated falls.

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Guest Dynamics

The guests aboard this charter add another layer of complexity and entertainment to the episode.

• Jack Finn and Darlene’s Tragicomic Relationship: The couple’s interactions are a mix of endearing moments and awkward revelations. Ben observes, “It's a really difficult, sorry way to phrase something...” (59:14), pointing out Darlene’s strained attempts at connecting with others.

• Handling Special Needs: Darlene arrives with a broken arm from skiing, necessitating additional care from the crew. Their struggle to accommodate her while managing their duties becomes a focal point for the night's events.

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Episode Highlights

Several standout moments punctuate the episode, providing ample fodder for the hosts’ commentary.

• Brunch Blunders (12:14): Captain Carrie and the crew attempt to make amends for previous tipping mishaps, but their efforts fall flat. Ben humorously breaks down the tip discrepancy: “$10,000 divided by nine people is about $1,000 worth of tip money missed per person.”

• Relationship Breakdown (38:15): Fraser’s long-distance relationship comes to an abrupt end, adding personal turmoil to his professional challenges. Ronnie cynically states, “We’re not dating. Oh, and I guess we’ve broken up.”

• Final Showdown with Ko (56:58): The climax of crew tensions results in Ko’s firing after repetitive errors, underscoring the high-stakes environment onboard.

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Host Insights and Commentary

Ben and Ronnie provide sharp, witty observations throughout the episode, blending humor with critical analysis.

• On Leadership Styles: Ronnie critiques Fraser’s public shaming tactics, stating, “The whole point of being a leader is to blame other people.” (31:40), highlighting ineffective management methods.

• Celine’s Cultural Disconnect: Ben and Ronnie joke about Solene’s inability to navigate the spiral staircase despite her French heritage, with Ben musings, “French people should just really know how to do a spiral staircase.” (10:59).

• Operational Inefficiencies: The duo lampoons the crew’s sloppy docking procedures, with Ronnie exclaiming, “This is a bad docking. It's embarrassing. Everything's wrong.” (66:08), emphasizing the lack of coordination.

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Conclusion

"Curl, Interrupted" serves as a testament to the relentless drama that defines Below Deck. Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam expertly navigate through the episode's highs and lows, providing listeners with a blend of humor, critique, and unabashed commentary. From leadership failings to guest management woes, the episode encapsulates why Below Deck remains a staple for Bravo enthusiasts and reality TV aficionados alike.

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Notable Quotes

• Ben Mandelker (07:30): “I need to make sure the timing is okay so you don't fail again in front of Captain Carrie like you did last year.”

• Ronnie Karam (31:40): “The whole point of being a leader is to blame other people.”

• Ronnie Karam (56:58): “You need to be better because I'm the one who's getting yelled at right now.”

• Ben Mandelker (09:59): “She’s just so eager to get off the staircase that she's like, I'm willing to risk paralysis just to get off these steps.”

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Note: All timestamps correspond to the provided transcript and are intended to reference specific moments discussed in the summary.

Transcript

[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I just bought some acapulco chairs for my patio and they are so cool. They were so easy to assemble and also so comfy. They arrived quickly and like they look great out there.

[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens. Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me is is the glorious and joyful Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

[Ronnie Karam]

Hi. So good. How are you?

[Ben Mandelker]

I am so good. We are here today to talk below deck. And just an FYI, we are taking next Monday off, so. Or next and next Tuesday. So we won't have a below deck recap next week, but we'll be back with blow deck in two weeks. But just give me a heads up so you're not like, wait, where's the blow deck recap?

[Ronnie Karam]

So we're not going to have Miami this week. So I guess we should announce that now so people aren't like, where's Miami? What the hell? There will be no Miami this week. You know, it sucks to take shows off. We don't even like doing it. We're like, how are we going to take a break but still do all the seven shows or eight shows or whatever we're doing. We're not. Yeah, we're just going to cut some, which.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. But unfortunately part of taking a break is. Is taking a break. And unfortunately Miami is. Yeah, we're not gonna, we're not gonna record on Thursday. So we're sorry and we hate to do it to Miami because we want to just support Miami with all our heart. But we'll check in with. We'll check in next week and sort of catch everyone up with what we missed, etc. But yeah, so that's the news about below deck. And you know, come join us on Patreon patreon.com Watch what happens to watch on video.

[Ronnie Karam]

Hi.

[Ben Mandelker]

Crap is on demand.

[Ronnie Karam]

So let's figure out what I've done to my shaving. I'm trying to figure out how to shave a beard and I Can't shave it, right. So then I ended up having to shave it off because it was even. But then I just use like a reg. Like not a blade, but like a shaver. And then I left some long hairs that are hitting my lip and they're making me freaking crazy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Maybe you should go to a barber and like, no tips.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm not gonna do that because I'm an. I'm a bald person. And one good thing about being bald is not having to pay barbers. I'm gonna watch.

[Ben Mandelker]

But it's a one time. A one time barber. Things that way, you know, Teach a man to fish. Teach a man to fish. You, you know, don't just buy the fish. Learn to fish with your beard. Okay? Get a professional to show you how to make a nice beard. And then you can always make yourself a nice beard.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm finding a professional on Tick Tock. That's where I get my therapy now. It's where I'm gonna get my. My hair trimming stuff.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know. I tried to learn how to give myself a fade on. On tick tock and YouTube and it did not work. So, you know, but you know, beard is much more manageable. Yeah, beard is much more manageable than doing a fade in a mirror. Like when you're like looking behind your head and trying to like, fade things and blend and you're like, I don't know what I'm doing.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, that's a lot.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it's hard.

[Ronnie Karam]

Anyway, today is Below deck. Okay. And also, Love island is over on Patreon as well as our videos. Okay, let's get into it. Okay. Previously is having trouble managing his team. Okay, you know what? Frank and Fraser and Damo kissed, and so did Carl and Selene. Okay? Everybody's kissing Sid. That's what's going on.

[Ben Mandelker]

A lot of kissing.

[Ronnie Karam]

Mm.

[Ben Mandelker]

A lot of kissing. So for those people who are interested in that, I'm excited for you because you're getting a lot of great content. For people like me who just like to see people struggling with their jobs. A little disappointed. I feel like we're just fast forwarding over charters now. This the second charter in a row that they just zipped over an entire day. I mean, these are not the most compelling guests, but why are we spending so much time watching Kyle and Sylaine flirt when we could be watching Rainbow having another meltdown about streaks on a mirror? Like, I don't understand why they're doing this to me.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, it's so weird that you Feel like that because you love Love island so much. You know that show knows its lane. You know that's what that show is.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I'm tuning in. When I tune in for Love Island, I'm tuning in for Love island content. When I tune in from below deck, I'm tuning in for Windex content. And I'm getting Love island content. Yeah, it's not right.

[Ronnie Karam]

What made fighting not making out okay? Yes. So Seline is like, oh, very good. Jacuzzi. Last night I told Jacuzzi, how do you want the bed? I do bed. How you want. You tell me how you want, babe. So good. And Kyle's like, good, but it could have been better. And Kyle's saying, oh, it's been a year since I've been disinterested. You know why it's been a year? Cuz here's what Kyle does in his downtime. He goes to a bar in a kilt and gets shitfaced and possibly makes out with other dudes. That's all he does. He's a fall down alcoholic. The only time he's sober enough to even flirt with a girl is when he's filming this show.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's correct. So then Carrie is like, good morning. All right, we're gonna leave at 10, 10am, shop for brunch because I'm, don't forget, I'm taking you all to brunch because the guys didn't pay you any tip money. So I'm gonna take you, get some French toast and some eggs to make up for the, you know, 300 that you didn't get.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Fraser, it's like, oh, damo, I just remember last night. You did not just remember. Okay? You still got your penis in your hand from last night. And he's like, oh yeah, yeah, it was a pass. We had a pass last night. And he's like, but I told my boyfriend I wouldn't do that. Okay, do you even believe he has a boyfriend? I don't.

[Ben Mandelker]

No. I think he's less. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Does it even count if it's five? You've seen each other five days in a year.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, that's not right. Do I think I cheated? Absolutely not. It would not bother me if my boyfriend was like to make out with one of the straight man friends. I mean, if it was another gay man, fine, I get it. Because I would be the one who's most disgusting in that trio there. But it wouldn't be that cool. It wouldn't be cool. That said, my boyfriend and I schedules haven't been compatible, and it's been a bit tough. So then we see Selene fall down the stairs for the third time this season. I don't know. I don't understand why she has so much trouble just doing the last five stairs like normal stairs. Like, why does she just feel the need to throw herself off the staircase into the wall every single time she goes down that staircase?

[Ronnie Karam]

Also, why are her ankles made out of, like, rubber? And she never gets hurt? When I hurt my back, like, literally sitting down the other day, I sat down to watch tv, and I was, like, out of my back. And I also want to know how Celine's ankles are made out of rubber and she doesn't ever get hurt. Like, I hurt myself literally sitting down to go to the bathroom. Like, two weeks ago, I sat down, I was like, I'm a back, and it's been hurting for two weeks. And meanwhile, this dumb ass is, like, flinging herself downstairs, and she's fine. What the hell?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I just. I don't understand why she can't just go down those last four or five stairs like a normal human being. Like, I don't know why she flings herself off and into that hallway wall every single time. I just don't know. Like, she's just so eager to get off the staircase that she's like, I'm willing to risk paralysis just to get off these steps.

[Ronnie Karam]

But those are spiral staircases, right? That's the spiral staircase, right? It is, because that's. That's what it is. Because I used to have one of those, and I slept in, like, the little loft, and everyone was like, don't do that, Ronnie. It's. You're gonna fall. And I was like, no, I'm not. If I have to pee in the middle of the night, you just come down this. It's easy. It's like a little staircase. I slid down that thing every day because you. You know, it doesn't make any sense. It's like going in a curve, and then I would slide down, and.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know. I was raised with a spiral staircase. We have a little loft in this house, and that was where the TV was. And I would go for. For maybe 30, 40 years, I went up and down that spiral staircase without any issue. And. But I also feel like. I don't know if this is. I don't know if this is a correct assumption, but I feel like because Solene is French, she should be extra good at a spiral staircase. I feel like. It just feels like something that French People are really good at, like. I feel like there's a lot of cathedrals in France that probably have a lot of spiral staircases going up the spires. I just think it's like in French.

[Ronnie Karam]

Blood to be like, you know, or like uneven streets. Yeah, I feel like. I feel like you're right. French people should have a stronger gait than the rest of us.

[Ben Mandelker]

French people should just really know how to do a spiral staircase. I just, I think it's just like, part of their DNA.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, yeah, I agree. Get it together. French people.

[Ben Mandelker]

French people are great. It's Solene who's not like, living up to her heritage. Like, it's like her saying, like, I can't really tell the difference between cheeses or, you know, wine is like, whatever to me. Like, are you even French if you don't like cheese, wine or power staircases?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, yeah, just give up your citizenship already. Celine. Yeah, so I don't know what they call it in France. I'm guessing it's not ice, because they don't like giving you ice. Right. But just get rid of your citizenship, Solane. Okay? If you can't come down the spiral staircase, you're done here.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Damo is telling us that they're. Because they're going to St. Barth's for brunch. So he's talking about how it's super ritzy. And like, he's like, but don't worry, he's like, he's like, I don't need to dress like a wanker to be a wanker here. I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't be too worried about how you're dressing based on what everyone else is wearing, including KO who's like, in just like a stringy tank top. And then they.

[Ronnie Karam]

No one is expecting anything from the men on below deck. Trust me. The women go like they're being nominated for an Oscar award every time they go out to eat. And the men just go in board shorts, you know, stained T shirt, and that's it.

[Ben Mandelker]

I also like, I'm gonna pull out my calculator for this because I need to do a. I need to do a last minute calculation to make this, this point here. So the, the tipped what, like 19,000, right? Which is almost 20.

[Ronnie Karam]

It was like $10 short of 20.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, well, I'm gonna say 19,000. And like this, this episode, they got tipped around 28,000, so. 28,000. So that's, that's basically like a $10,000 difference. $10,000 divided by how many people. About nine people. That's about everyone missed out on about $1,000 worth of revenue. So I just love. That's like, well, you all didn't get a thousand dollars worth of tip money. You're gonna get a free omelet. Enjoy. That's basically what this brunch is about.

[Ronnie Karam]

We're making it up to you with an egg and a bagel.

[Ben Mandelker]

But it's in St. Barts, so it's a fancy egg.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Fraser, you know, really leaning into being a good leader. He's like, all right, why don't we go around the table and say one thing we hate about each other? Go. Okay, I'll start. I'll start with everybody. And my answer is. Everything. All right, Silane, go ahead.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wait, I'd like to add something. You're absolutely disgusting. You're hideous. I don't even know why you're here. I can't even bear to look at you. Okay, that was for me. Now everyone else go, and it's your turn.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Silane points to Barbara and she goes, you. You saw bitch. You saw bitch. And she's like, no, I don't hate anything about you. And I love that these two found a friendship.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know where.

[Ronnie Karam]

Mates. I love it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Where did it happen? They were bickering so much, then suddenly they, like, love each other. And Rainbow's just like. And she's like, jealous because Rainbow doesn't know how to connect to other women or other people or vacuum cleaners. And she's like, well, I personally find it hard to connect with girls in general because all I want to do is just grab them by the hair and just slam them into some dirt on an island in the middle of Holland. So connecting with these girls is just kind of tricky. It's just like a little trickering because, you know, I've had two older sisters and, you know, we all volunteered as tribute that one time and we heard the cannon go off and we're like, okay. And, you know, some. Some I had to slur throat. But that's just what you have to do when the trophy.

[Ronnie Karam]

Right, yeah, it really does hurt a little bit on the inside. Mostly because my sisters would need me in the ribs so I wouldn't get bruised. So, yeah, it hurts. Everything affects me. I'm just trying not to let it show. Does it show? It does show. And any girl who says they can't get along with other girls, I'm on the other girl's side. Yeah, so automatically on the side of your sisters because yeah, the other girls are not the problem on this boat, ma' am. You are. Now, that being said, you're not even that much of a problem. Rainbow. I like Rainbow. I think Rainbow is kind of cool. You know, she's just heard fight her sisters and, like, a cage fight, you know? What do you expect from her?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, she just. I think she's in her head too much. But, like, how do I relate to other women? And we see her over the course of the episode trying to apply techniques she's seen on, like, tv. Like, oh, I noticed that this person behaves in this way, so I will behave in that way. She's sort of, like, robotic. Like, this is. This should work.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, like, very Dexter. Like, serial killer. Like, kind of mimicking normal behaviors or what. Whatever she considers to be normal behaviors. Yeah, she does a lot of, like, oh, my God, girl, can I just hug you and give you kisses? Which, you know, if you're watching Love island, that's what they do. But if you're watching, I don't know. Orange is the new Black. That's not what they do. And she's more. Orange is the new Black.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, it's just like her. Her attempts at, like, like, girly affection towards her lady friends is not really earned. She just sort of declares it like, oh, my God. And. And the other person's like, we don't have that relationship. So this is weird, you know?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. She's trying to be, like, fun girly, but it comes off as, like, sexual harassment in the workplace a little bit.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And her name is Rainbow spelled wrong, so it's like, it makes it worse. You know, it's like, I got. You know, I got touched by my boss, Rain Biao. You know, it's like, you're not gonna. It's not gonna hold up well in court is what I'm saying. You're just. Everybody's gonna be confused. They're gonna put you in jail for spelling your name wrong.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I. That's the worst kind of jail with the silence. Jail, harassment, spelling jail. Well, I mean, Celine's going to spiral staircase jail, so a lot of.

[Ronnie Karam]

No one would convict Celine of anything. And that's the thing that I think makes people like Rainbow crazy. It's like, how does she get away with it? You know, her. Her eyebrows are weird, and nobody says anything to her, but Rainbow just has, like, a certain Genesis quoi.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Rainbow asks Ko about his family, and he's like, oh, well, my sister's in Spain, and my dad moved to is moving to Spain because Brazil is a jungle, man. And they're like, really? He's like, yeah. I mean, if you're a tourist, the best country in the world, but if you're a citizen, it's. And then the tile of photos comes up and it's a chaos segment. And he's like, social time is the last thing on my mind right now. The job is not flowing yet, but adjusting to the style that we have on this boat with the captain. There's just, like a long way to go. And my job is just on the nine, and I really care about it. It's a stressing time. And then we just go back to the brunch. I don't understand.

[Ronnie Karam]

Went into the camera squint.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think I'm gonna need the post production department just to chillax a little bit. I'm like, all these. Anytime someone speaks, the fact that they bring up this, all these photos, and the big thing on my screen, that's like, cow. And then they speak for three seconds, and then we go back to the scene. It just is so over the top. I think we can just like, go back to the way it used to be, which is that people just talk normally. I think this is too much. Well, I find too hard to make it exciting.

[Ronnie Karam]

I think if you have people with, like, more fascinating Instagrams, it would be okay. But this is like the below deck cast, and their Instagram is like, wow, Kyle in board shorts. Wow, Kyle in board shorts again. Oh, my God, you guys. It's Kyle on a cliff in board shorts. Guys. It's Kyle looking. It's Squint. It's Kyle squinting with hair.

[Ben Mandelker]

I also don't understand how every time they talk about their childhood, we see photos of them when they were, like, 4 years old, and it always looks like it's 1973. I'm like, half these people were born in, like, 2001. 2002. Why are the photos such poor quality?

[Ronnie Karam]

You guys were born when the iPhone, like, 12 was out. I don't even want to hear it from you. Although I do blame that on fucking Instagram. Instagram filtering, because you remember when everybody used to use filters on every pic to make it look like it was 1970 and it had, like, an automatic frame on it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's. It's ridiculous. These photos. I'm like, I'm looking at a picture of my Grandma Sally over here, and that was taken, like, 19, like, you know, 48. And it's like, better quality than half the blowjack pictures. I swear to God.

[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

So Fraser's like, so guys, did we have fun last night? And demo's like, I had a great time. I can imagine. Wait, I just remembered that we had a fun time. I definitely was not thinking about it all this time. And Barbara's like, yeah, you guys should kiss again just for safety. He's like, I'll do that. If I'm ever on the phone to my boyfriend, though, we don't mention it because baby girls, baby boys, are we ready to go? That's why. Just don't, don't mention it. We're gonna go because mommy's ready to spendy, spendy.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they go do some high end shopping and Carrie's like, deck crew. We're gonna try to make a 3 o' clock bridge. We got a double time. I want marching, I want docks. I want ropes that come out of boats with hefty things at the end in case we crashed into things. You got it. I want adventure. All right, we gotta hit the ground running. We're swimming. Well, if we're swimming, I guess we're, aren't we? If we're swimming, can't hit the Water.

[Ben Mandelker]

We're gonna hit the water running, but we're gonna be hitting the water swimming. But you can't be swimming right now, so you should be at the water boating. You get what I mean? I'm getting lost in the metaphor. Anyway, KO, you've got something to say? And he's like, yes. Can. Can. They're all back on the boat. He's like, can I. Can we bring everything in? Can I bring the tender in? Yeah. I mean, dude, that's what I said downstairs, Remember? I said bring the Tinder in. We don't have time to be discussing things three times. Okay, let's roll, let's roll, let's roll. Damn it. I did it three times again.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Celine is talking to Fraser and she's like, can I tell you something? I kissed. I kissed you yesterday. But when we were kissing, I felt. And she hits a big flashlight that's hanging on the wall and she's like, so now I feel.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, so now you want his dick is basically what you're trying to say to me. That's a yes, is it? And she's like, oui, oui, oui, bonjour. It's like, okay, cast off, slut. Go to work and never come back.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then anchor is rising and we're going to Sandaltine. And so Rainbow is trying this, like, super nice girly thing now, which we were talking about earlier with Solene. She's like, do you have any questions, my love? And she's like, no. Can I have a hug? Can I just have a hug from you? Okay, I hug you. Okay. You are hugging very hard. Very hard. You are hugging me very hard. Ow. Ow. You are hurting me. I cannot breathe. Oh, my God. I'm suffocating in French. I'm suffocating in French.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm just feeling so alone. Sort of like how I sat on that little island in the lake for, you know, three days waiting for my father to fetch me while my sister's dying corpse was at my knees. And I can just get very emotional. And I know that about myself. I. I think I'm just like. I'm just like a hard person. And then they show flashbacks of her, like, going nuts, culminating, of course, in the clip they're going to show all season, which is her having a pan attack with the vacuum. I mean, you can't really control how other people feel about you, so you just got to keep on trying. And, you know, I'm just doing my best.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Celine's not falling for it. She's like, it is fake. It is fake. I don't like it. So she's Rainbow's like, okay, Solene, I just need the fitted sheet. The elastic. Is this the elastic sheet? The fitted one. The. The one with the make circle. Which one is this fitted? How's it fit like that? Who makes. Who makes trying arm for sheet? Does it do it itself? Does she do beds? The beds change size or why they need to. Why they need to size the fitted. Why you need to measure a bed?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's fitted sheet. It's the fitted sheet. Celine, just.

[Ronnie Karam]

Just get the sheet, please.

[Ben Mandelker]

Fitted. Fitted. Fitted sheet.

[Ronnie Karam]

Sheet fit sheet. It's a sheet now, huh? That's not. I don't like you sheet fat. She called sheet fat. I don't like it. You do it. You do it. Fat stream of sheet. You don't fat shame of sheet. I'm done here.

[Ben Mandelker]

Goodbye, sheet.

[Ronnie Karam]

Fettuccine. That makes you fat. The sheet made fettuccine.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she literally says fettuccine and remembers, like, fettuccine. She's like, yes or no?

[Ronnie Karam]

I have it, though. Have it or no? You have fettuccine or no? Why are we. Why are we talking? You got fettuccine. Put fettuccine for.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right. All right, everyone. We're gonna approach the best bridge in the entire world. So everyone get ready. We're gonna put some fenders out, which is a pretty. I don't think anyone ever really messes up. It's just fenders. Fenders go off the side of the boat, I think. Been watching a lot of below deck, and I don't think in any season, no one has ever messed up the simple rule of putting a fender out on the side of the boat. Okay, let's get through this.

[Ronnie Karam]

This is so funny. They just, like, kind of put one fender a little bit over. Like, are you. Are you working, like, the bangs of the boat? Are we, like, trying to.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like a small little braid. It's like. Because when the fenders come out, it's like they do, like, little braids on the boat, you know, like, when. You know, like. Like, I remember in. Like, in middle school, the white girls would always go off to the Caribbean. They come back after spring break, they don't have their braids. I'm like, oh, my God, I want that carbon. And it's like, that's what happens to the boat when they go through the. When they put the fenders out. Like, it comes out with braids. Like, it went on spring break. And then but this case, they did, like, the one little small braid, like, it wasn't as long as the others. And it's like, okay, whatever.

[Ronnie Karam]

I didn't get to go on that trip because, you know, I didn't have the money. And also us working at the bowling alley at the time because at child labor. But my friend came back with those braids, and she's like, do you want me to do them for you? Because I learned how to do them in St. John. And I was like, yeah. Fuck, yeah. Cause I had long hair at the time. And so she did my braids like that. And she used these big colored rubber bands on my hair. And my mom would not go to a restaurant with me. She's like, you're staying in the car. You look idiotic. I refuse to take you out in public until you take those things out.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my God. You're like, my name's Emily now. Like, what? Well, I got braids on spring.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm really into tent living, and my dream is to start a theater in a tent on St. John, which I've never been to, but I've heard is amazing. So we work for tips, basically. So.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now they're approaching this bridge, and it's the usual chaos because no one's communicating and Carrie's losing his mind. Everyone get the position.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right, all right.

[Ben Mandelker]

I got a swing. Okay, watch my swing. Watch my swing. Watch my swing. And Kayl's like, what did he say? Watch my swing. Where is it?

[Ronnie Karam]

I need you to talk on the radio. Say something. And Kayo's like, my name is Luca. No, Ko. I live on the second floor. KO Come on. What's our distance? I live upstairs from you. KO Call a distance. I guess you've never seen me before. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

KO Enough. Susan, Vega, get to work. So then. So then he's like, oh, could you repeat that please, Captain? He's like, oh, idiot. I'm turning the boat. Okay? I need you to come watch my swing. What's my project? What's my projected swing?

[Ronnie Karam]

KO And Fraser just looks out the window, and he's like, well, this is not going very well. Is it? Like, we're doing. We're doing. We're about to hit the dog. And he's like, 20. 20 meters to the dock. I mean, 2 meters. I mean, 1 meter, 0.5 Smurf.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Carrie's like, wait a second. What's this fender doing here? It's not the right heart. Why? Like, the fender's just, like, at the top. Like, it's just, like, on the edge. Like, hasn't even gone over it. The heaven is like. I'm sorry. I'm just, like, not really comfortable going over the side of this boat right now.

[Ronnie Karam]

Why have we got tiny bangs on the fender? Why have we got tiny bangs on the boat? Come on, someone fix the goddamn bangs on the fender. You cannot just grow out bangs.

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen, listen. What I say is this boat needs to have fender bangs like it's a burlesque dancer, okay? Severe and long. Get to it.

[Ronnie Karam]

So that was a up. But they made it. You know, they made it, so. All right, Kyle, Kyo, get over here. We've got to talk alone. There's some things that happened here, and they were on you, mate. Now, listen, I don't care if your name is Luca. I don't care if you're from the second floor. You gotta pay attention, all right? He's like, okay. And KO just gives him that squinty, confused look. It's like eyes are squinting, but wide open. He's looking around like, I'm nodding my hair at you. So consider yourself hair knotted.

[Ben Mandelker]

Now, I shouldn't have to ask three times what the going on behind me. This like. Well, all right. Well. Well, I'll say it again. I shouldn't have to ask three times for what the going on. But what I'm trying to say is I shouldn't have to ask three times.

[Ronnie Karam]

Three. I got it. Fender, fender, fender. I got it free.

[Ben Mandelker]

This fender here was sitting too high. So if. If I were to smack that dock with the fender up, it would have. It would have been my fault. So your fault. So my fault. And my fault's your fault. And then a lot of other people's faults. And guess what? San Andrea's fault. My fault. So I've got to have someone in place that doesn't make errors like that, okay? And because you're so inept and you're so terrible and you're so clearly not. Not supposed to be on this boat. I'm gonna give you one more chance. One more chatter, and my eyes are gonna be on you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Thank you so much. I just wanted to say one thing before I go 20 meters. 20 meters.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right? Right. It's a little bit too late, mate. We gotta pass the bridge. All right?

[Ronnie Karam]

All right. Safety is first. All right? Period. All right? I want period safety. If you're on your period, please be near a floating device. That's it.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's got one less chance of going into this charter. He's got to pull A rabbit out of the hat to stay in the vessel. Now, I didn't mean that literally. You could put the actual. I don't know where you got that rabbit from. KO it's the one time you actually do the thing that I said.

[Ronnie Karam]

Lara is sitting somewhere watching this at home. Like, oh, finally my skills are appreciated. True magician in a bunny costume.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lil is watching also from somewhere on Long island, being like. So I wanted to be able to do that trick. Pull back to summer house, Lil. Anyway, so k. I was like, okay, everyone. So I just spoke to Cap, and we need to think that what we can do better. And I need you guys to use your brains and, like, not just follow orders. Okay? So that fender, that one was high. Who suggested that they're like, Jess is like me. Okay, Okay. I was okay with it because of the bridge. It makes sense. But then, like, you would have to lower it. So. And if I wasn't for that, like, it wouldn't have happened. So, like, you have to be better because I'm the one who's, like, getting yelled at right now.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, but it wasn't only the fender, sir. Like, you had him hitting the dog. That's not good. I mean, come on. It's not all Jess. Although I still don't understand the high fender. And so Jess is mad now. She's like, this is bullshit. I'm tired of chaos, spreading the blame on everybody else. Because, like, what you see from a leader, you know, you want them to take responsibility. I'm sorry, what kind of leaders have you grown up around? Because I've never seen leaders take responsibility for shit. The whole point of being a leader is to blame other people.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ronnie Karam]

Do you have. Do you have American news where you are?

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. I was like. I was like, should I take it there? Should I be political?

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, just in general. It doesn't even matter what side you're on. I mean, just in general. The whole point in leading the country is to blame somebody else for whatever is going on. You know?

[Ben Mandelker]

So now. Now it's time for the preference sheet meetings. So Kerry's like, all right, everyone, we've got a family coming on board. A husband, a wife, two adult sons, primary's brother coming. And I'll just tell you this right now. They're so boring. We're gonna fast forward over most of their charter again. Two in a row. All right, you ready for this?

[Ronnie Karam]

I'd like to announce this. Ronnie sat down, watched this eagle eyed. Even took a few notes, does not remember one person from this family.

[Ben Mandelker]

Right?

[Ronnie Karam]

So good luck.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jack Finn is our primary. Oh, wait, Fraser, once you say this part. Jack Finn is our descent. Disgusting primary. And he sold his engineering firm and is now reveling in retirement with Boundless Leisure, unlike me, who still must answer to some nebulous boyfriend that exists somewhere in the world. And he also. He owns a sailboat.

[Ronnie Karam]

You know that they write their own. Their own bios. Because this one's ridiculous. Stable. His engineering firm is now reveling in retirement. Really? Really. Jack Finn? That's what you wrote? So Carrie's like, all right, now look at Darlene. She broke her room. Hell Skiing. Hell ski. Hell heli. Skiing. What the Is that skiing? Helicopters, I take it. Ridiculous. She's lucky she didn't break her neck.

[Ben Mandelker]

She just got out of a cast. And they're having a 25th anniversary, their first date. So two beach excursions on this trip. The first day, they're gonna go to Mullet Bay, where Ben Mandelker had a cherished childhood memory in first grade. And we're going to have a beach party, and there's a volleyball court there. And the following day, we're gonna go to Anguilla, and they're gonna want to do a full moon party. I just want to make sure everyone hears this so that way people know what this show is going to fast forward over.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right, Right now, the husband is a kind of a wacky guy. He wants you to fly over Anguilla in a helicopter and have the helicopter say something like, I won, stupid.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then his wife can just cry and cry and cry with a full moon out.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, nothing like losing while your full ass is pointing up at the sky in Anguilla. All right, Night.

[Ben Mandelker]

In the afternoon, they like a beach setup where they can eat lunch and have a competitive game of beach volleyball. Oh, I love beach volleyball. Against the yacht crew. I'm like, I don't. I don't. I don't like competitions against the crew.

[Ronnie Karam]

Another thing, what everybody loves on a luxury. A luxury vacation. Dilly dallying with poor people, Socializing with the help. So Kyle tells Celine. He's like, you look beautiful, by the way. She's like, oh, thank you. It's because my dress is Daily show good. And also, if I don't feel very good about myself, I stand next to Sheet because she just fat. This is what I hear. So I always look steam next to fat sheet. It is okay to bully sheets. You know that, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

So. So, yeah, looks beautiful. So have you ever. Have you ever Fell in love or fell down staircase? He's like, yes, a couple of times for both. Yeah. How about you? Two times. Well, staircase. Now it's just today, then three times yesterday, but also love. Oh yeah, two times for me too. Yeah, it's the worst. It's the best. And the worst is love. Yeah. So then she talks about being in love and how she was in love when she was 22 and she's like, he left me four times in two years. And all the time I felt I fall in love deeper and deeper and deeper. So all the time worse and worse and worse and worse. My dad take me to emergency because I was so sad. I stopped eat and I couldn't. I couldn't eat. I couldn't eat. Not even what you call fatuccini. I don't know. I would rather to have someone break my finger than break my heart.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. It's like I was opposite of selfish when I was younger, but then I learned to be selfish. So now I'm selfish and I say, no, I don't love you. And then you go to the hospital, you don't eat, and then I break your finger. He's like, oh God, that's your energy. So hot. I mean, obviously you're attractive as hell because she goes, what do you like on me? You tell me, what do you like on me? He's like, oh, well, you're sexy, you're attractive. Your name's not Barbie. Your father doesn't work for Coca Cola. God, I'm craving a Coca Cola right now. I love your Barbie. Come back to me, Barbie.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they go into the guest cabin and they have sex. So then it's the next morning and people are waking up and Barbara's like, I want to know how was last night? And Fraser's like, yes, I want to hear all the details quickly please. How was your date? She's like, oh, it was nice, it start to rain and you know, we got naked guest room, you know. And Rainbow's like, oh my God, did Celine get naked last night? Girlfriend, tell me everything. Can I get a hug? I just love you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And Kyle's like, I got laid last night. She was like, ooh la la. Which she was like, ooh la la. So Fraser is like Celine in the master and she's. No, don't say, don't say these. Oh, sorry. She made sloppy, sloppy love in the, in the cabin. Was it good? Okay, yeah, fine, just go, just go.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do I think that they're compatible? Absolutely not. But it's about man's and I'm all for it, but I'm. I'm going to get Celine cleaning the cabin because I for sure ain't touching. So she starts cleaning, etc, and then Anthony calls his mom. And, you know, we hear some Anthony backstory, which is that when I was a kid, I was terrible at school because all the moms, he was like, oh, my kid gets A plus, but I do not get them A plus. And, you know, my mom had no story to say it because I was loser. So it's adding more pressure to myself because I had bad grades in school. And then this charter and like every chatter, I feel like I am playing for my life. I am playing for mommy.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, he's really a mess, this guy. He's so insecure.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, he really is.

[Ronnie Karam]

He needs to get tighter pants or something. I don't know, they're already pretty tight. But he needs to get more secure. I mean, come on, Benny. He's like, oh, I'm failure because I was failure in school. Who cares? She can boil an egg. You know what I mean? Sometimes that's all that matters. So Fraser texts his boyfriend that they need to talk. And so he does, and he's like, long distance is super hard. It's never something I wanted to be in. And lo and behold, it's not working, period. It needed to be done. I've broken up with my boyfriend, everybody. I've broken up with them.

[Ben Mandelker]

I was so impressed. Yeah, seriously, I was so impressed because when Fraser's. We see his text message saying, we need to talk, and he goes off onto the, onto the dock to talk, and I was like, oh, my God, it's gonna be another one of these seasons where someone texts some person who's off camera and the other person guilts them the entire season about their choices. I was like, I don't know if I'm mentally prepared for this. Like, like, like this season was going so strongly for me until this episode. And then this episode, like, leaned into all the things I don't like that Below Deck does. And I'm like, oh, my God, there's already gonna be a competition against the crew. There's already gonna be. There's already been, like, a date. I don't know if I'm, like, ready for, like an, like a long, drawn out text message argument. And then Fraser comes back, he's like, what? We broke up. It's over.

[Ronnie Karam]

I was like, oh, I don't know that it was really an option. I think Fraser was like, I made out with somebody and the guy's like, I'm sorry, wait, who is this? Fraser, your boyfriend? I don't have it. You do. All right, look, I'm gonna see. Are we on Grindr? Have you, have I ever double tapped you on. Oh, here you are, Fraser without an eye. Oh, yeah. You're 5,000 miles away from me, so I literally have to pay extra to look at your profile. So, yeah, we're not dating. Oh, and I guess we've broken up.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's over. So. Yeah, so that's done. Which I'm actually happy for. Good. Moving on. So now the guests come on board and it's the primaries. The lady's like, pardon me, I've got a broken wing. Just got out of a cast. I was hella skiing in Helsinki too, which was really awkward. But anyway, broken arm. So they are all nice and hello. And everyone's helping with the luggage. And now it's finally time to leave the. The leave the dock and go out into the open sea. Surely Ko will rise to the challenge.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, so this is the one where they're about to touch the dock. I mean, every dock, every docking is hell. But also they're going through that tiny little, you know, opening on the freeway.

[Ben Mandelker]

Stupid bridge.

[Ronnie Karam]

So it's another thing where it's like. All right, all right. Ready? Ready. Is everyone ready to communicate? Let's go. All right, dropping lines, please. All right. Kyle? Kyle, come on. Kyle. Kyle, are you there? He's like, what? What? Kyle, I need. I need you to talk to me from a distance. Yes. Give me the distance. The world is small and blue. All right, thank you. Bet Middling me. Come on, man.

[Ben Mandelker]

Come on, Kyle, I need to know the distance. All right, three eggs, toasts and maybe some hash browns. Kyle, did you go back to the brunch place? Yes. Are you on the boat?

[Ronnie Karam]

No. All right, all right, all right. What is that? What is that coming up? It's the bridge opening, bro. And Jess is like, oh, my God. Distance from the bridge is 3 meters and opening. You're looking at. No, no, no. Distance from the bridge is Bette Midler in World War II with James Caan. Like, what the hell are you talking about?

[Ben Mandelker]

We are. We are. Exactly. For the boys away from the bridge. What?

[Ronnie Karam]

We are auto titling inventor. And. And Laos. What now you're going to beaches? What is this? General Bette Midler movie day? How far are we from the dark Omelet?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, all right, hold on. We are. Some say love it is arose. What? Okay, no more Genus Joplin Biopics let's just get the Distances commercials.

[Ronnie Karam]

Here comes one right now.

[Ben Mandelker]

We acting bad, bad, bad, bad. We ain't trying to hurt nobody. For decades, he was untouchable. I've gone from Harlem to Hollywood, but now it's all coming undone. Sean Combs, the mogul as we know it is over. He will never be that person again, even if he's found not guilty of these charges. I'm Jesse Weber, host of Law and Crimes, the Race, Rise and Fall of Diddy, the Federal Trial. A front row seat to the biggest trial in entertainment history. Sex trafficking, racketeering, prostitution. Allegations by federal prosecutors that span decades. And witnesses who are finally speaking out. The spotlight is harsher, the stakes are.

[Ronnie Karam]

Higher, and for Diddy, there may be no second chances.

[Ben Mandelker]

You can listen to the Rise and Fall of Diddy, the Federal Trial, exclusively with Wondery. Join Wondery in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple podcasts right now.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they make it, basically. But the captain's like, so then we go to Robert and Barbara talking, and Robert's like, wow, this feels weird. I haven't sat at a bar in forever. And Barbara's like, oh, why? You don't drink alcohol? And he goes, now I'm allergic to it. I break out in handcuffs.

[Ben Mandelker]

Barbara's like, I don't get it. What do you mean? So Carrie is like, all right, all right. So, Jess, what shift are you on? She's like, I'm on deck at. At 8. Then I go to bed at 12. All right, and when you get your break, you do get a break, don't you? KO said that when. If I'm asked this, I should say, give me a break. Give me a break. Give me a break of that Kit Kat bar.

[Ronnie Karam]

Not sure I no longer want you to quote that moron. All right, now, how much of a break do you get? Give me a break. I sure could use it. Trying to make it to the top. All right, all right, now, Carter, listen, I'm trying to just get around to this. How much does Caillou suck? Should I. Should I fire him right now? She's like, oh, yes, definitely. He's stupid. Please inspire him. Please get rid of him.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think she, like, I. Why are we forgetting that didn't just come on to the boat saying that she normally is a boson and she took a step down? Or was that Rainbow? Was that Rainbow who took a step down from Chief Stew?

[Ronnie Karam]

No, I think it was. I think it was Jess.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Jess is normally a boson. I'm like, why are we not having Jesse just lead this boat right now. She. She has better ideas than Ko does. So Carrie is like, well, I think he's just out of his depth. It's just a very stressful role. If you haven't had enough opportunity to do this role before, you're not going to survive. Ko, Ko, what are you doing back there? What if God was one of us on the train? Like, one of us? All right, all right. There's no better you jail.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right? Now here's what I'm gonna do with you, Caio. I'm gonna give you another chance.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right?

[Ronnie Karam]

Go ahead, Swim back to Shoal. Swim back. So now the guests are doing water toys, and Jess is checking in with Barbara about working with the girls. And she's like, I love zozo. I love zozo. And she's like, well, it's not just so. So. And Barbara's like, well, I don't really, like, work with Rainbow. Well, I don't. I don't work with her very much. So who knows about Rainbow? You know, her name is stupid. And Jess is like, you don't even know her name.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I thought her name was so, so, so sorry.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then now we hear some Barbara.

[Ronnie Karam]

Back calling her so. So.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she's like, you know, I don't even remember the last time I was with a gay girl like my ex. She was straight, and we stayed together for one. A year and a half, and I don't even want to be again and like, one waiting. Like, the one. I don't want to be the one waiting someone's time anymore. So sometimes you just need. You just feel tired, you know, to be with someone that's not, you know, it's not sure about you. So it's nice that Jess is gay. We have a lot in common. I really like her. I'm like, okay, great. Thanks for the information.

[Ronnie Karam]

Meet a real gay person. So nice. So then Barbara is now talking to a guest, and she's like, let me understand something. These are your parents? And she's like, no, no.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

The two and the teal, they're brothers. Bobby's my dad. Brett's my brother. The husband's the tall bald guy. Darlene's Jack's wife. Those are her two sons. Oh, I'm so, so asked. This is very, very confusing. I don't. Nobody cares. This is a lot. This is a lot for me. Are any of them really gay girls? No. Okay, then, please.

[Ben Mandelker]

I was just making polite chatter. I don't really care. Who any of these strange people are, I just know they're American and probably stupid. So then Fraser is like, I'm so glad I'm over yesterday. And Rainbow's like, oh, do you feel different? Do you feel single now? Do you feel single now? Do you? No. I just feel like if we're ever in the same place, the same time, we're, like, no longer doing what we're doing, and then it could absolutely work out with. What was his name again? Bert? Charles? I don't know. Whoever that person was on my phone, he was nice. And we'll hook up sometime in the future.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm sad. Of course I'm sad. Obviously, I care about him. I will always care about him. I haven't imagined life without him going forward. I mean, I saw him five times in one year. Incredibly difficult, imagining how I would go on. I was like, wow, Fraser's really trying for a love storyline, but there's nothing behind his eyes at all. He's like, wow, love him so dearly. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to me. Did you know that Damo has his penis pierced?

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Solana's in the kitchen, and she's like, oh, big fish, huh? Kiss him. Kiss him. And Anthony's like, oh, yes. So Anthony kisses this fish. He's like, oh, salty. Reminds me of my ex girlfriend with Kyle. You guys are a couple? Husband and wife. Boyfriend. And she's like, yes, you're crazy. He's like, he probably wants a relation. She's like, no, it's too early. I don't really know him, and I don't want to put on pressure. It's like, yeah, right. Don't rush stuff if you're not ready for it. Especially staircase. Take every single step, girl. There's getting to be a dent in the wall. Okay, yes. Me rush? Never.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now it's volleyball with the guests. Nobody cares. I'm not gonna talk about it. So then Anthony gets the main course ready, and Carrie gets a call from his daughter. And he's like, what? What do you want? How many. How many meters are we from the docks? Like, daddy, I would like you up with my homework. And he's like, oh, God. All right, hit me. All right, what's the capital of Australia? God damn it, girl. Don't you have a chat GPT over there? I'm busy.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's called Canberra. All right, well, next question. Daddy, I'd like to know, what do you call a herd of kangaroos? Well, it beats me. We'll just call Them, the scum poops.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay, all right. A bunch of kayas. Bunch of kangaroo morons, right, Hopping around. God damn it. You have the Internet over there? You're fired. All right? I've got a plane ticket with your name written all over it, you little skank.

[Ben Mandelker]

She did not sound 12, by the way. She sounded like she was a full on adult calling from, like a customer service. Like, it's like when I. It's like Kaiser Permanente being like. We'd like to. We'd like you to answer a short survey about your most recent phone phone call with us. Were you satisfied or unsatisfied with your daughter? It's like, say it as fault, I suppose.

[Ronnie Karam]

Extremely unsatisfied. Yeah, I think she just needed, like, some reassurance from her dad because all of these questions she could have just Googled, you know, but she's like, dad, I need your expect your experience. He's like, oh, I'm busy. But, Dad, I just want you to tell me you love me. You know what? I love a proper distance call. All right, Gotta go. Little lame one.

[Ben Mandelker]

Goodbye.

[Ronnie Karam]

Click.

[Ben Mandelker]

So then Kyle is. Kyle's like, settling down. He needs to have a break. They're on the beach. He's like, I'm gonna sit here for. In the shade for. For a minute. So Jess is like, oh, my God, you still haven't, like, gone on a. And you know, he's. You know, Kyle, he hasn't been on a break and he's been up since five. And Kyle's like, oh, I'm sorry, we can't have breaks now. Okay? Hair doesn't curl itself on its own. So Jess is like, well, we need to start taking our bricks because we need that structure for our bricks at certain times. For example, when we are eating, that would have been a good time for him to sit down. Let's let him chill and eat. He's like, okay, yeah, you're right. That's fine.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, it's all right. And she goes, no, it's not all right. You know, I'm really pissed off. I'm starting to think that KO EIO is not cut out for this anymore. My respect is declining rapidly. One thing I appreciate is eating sitting down. As you can see from these 80 clips they've shown in the last two weeks of me doing just that.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Kayo does the standard reality star thing, which is don't put it all out like this, like, bring me to the side. Especially being in her position, you create tension. It's like a bomb that can explode. You can't throw it like this. That's all you've been doing. Kyo is like gathering a group together and yelling at them all in public. Or like. Like barking orders in front of. Yes. And that's totally. When someone does something wrong on reality tv, their. Their deflection is always to say, I mean, tell me in private. Don't, like, humiliate me in front of everyone. I think everyone. I think we just have to start establishing that it's okay to be called out in front of other people. Like, that you actually probably deserve it. Usually if you've done something wrong, you deserve to be called out in front of other people. I mean, public shaming is the thing.

[Ronnie Karam]

I think your boss should be. You know, you're. You should, like, talk to your boss in private, I guess, right? I think if he's. If he is telling them what to do in public, it's because he's the leader of the group. But then if one of them has a problem, then she's kind of spreading poison. Now, that said, she has told you in private many times that you need to give a break, and you still won't listen. So maybe she's just doing it in public. So you'll be. You'll be getting a little public shame. And maybe that'll help because she has tried you in private. You know, I would agree it's not the most professional thing, but she's tried the professional way. Okay. Hair.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I think it's. I think it's okay. And I think she's like, rallying the troops at this point because demo's also like, yeah, I agree too. We need this. We need better management, etc.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And he's like, it's like, bomb that can explode. Do not throw bomb. So then we go to Jess and Damo talking about how they need more communication. And Kyle's like, yeah, you know, then fine, then every morning we can talk about breakfast. That's what we do. We'll get up, we'll sit around together, and we'll say, what about breaks? Okay. Does that sound good? And she's like, actually, yes, that would be great. We could have a deck meeting. He's like, yeah, yeah, we can do that. We can do this meeting every morning. Okay. Because I'm riding on a freeway, A freeway of love in a pink Cadillac.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, oh, God, he's in Aretha again. So then Carrie. Carrie picks up Anthony from the beach. And so Carrie and Kyle and Anthony are heading back to the boat. But then, like, when the Tender gets to the boat. Kyle's like, not ready with the ropes to tie it onto the boat or whatever. And Carrie's like, all right, where's the preparation? God damn it, man. Come on. When you're unprepared, things go tits up. That's like my daughter with her tests. I mean, ask me questions the night before. You should already know this information. This is so basic to have the lines ready.

[Ronnie Karam]

This is so not knowing the capital of Australia. God, get me a new daughter. I mean, mo sin. So Rainbow's like, is somebody having trouble communicating? And Fraser's like, yeah, I just think Kayo's. Kaio's just a bit frantic, you know, I don't know what it is, but Kaio's information seems to go one ear and then out of one of his curls. And that's why I get the big bucks, people right there, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Swam cheek stew. That's why I get to be on a panel at BravoCon. So Fraser's like, All right, everyone, dinner at 8:00. What's the menu? It's like, oh, it's gonna be. And they tell the menu it's gonna be all this stuff. And the captain is gonna be joining. So Fraser, of course, is happy to remind him of that many times to make him nervous. So Anthony says, I remember from last year. Timing, terrible food, disgusting. Mommy disappointed. It was cold. So I felt all this pressure. And I'm going to do everything I can to make sure the guests are happy. And the captain is part of me. Eyebrow chick. I'm ready.

[Ronnie Karam]

Cut to Jill Zarion. This is disgusting. I've literally. I'm a rug maker. I've eaten a rug. This tasted better than this food. I mean, absolutely disgusting. Captain. What are you the captain of? Captain of, you know, a sinking ship. Is that what you are? Is this the Titanic? Are we sinking right now? This is absolutely disgusting. Fire him.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, let me show you how to make a Diet Coke. Good. Okay, so then now that, like, you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Put ice in a cup, you're put.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ice in the Diet Coke. This is how you make a good Diet Coke. Yeah, I taught him how to make a Diet Coke. So Fraser is. Now it's like, dinner time. And the theme is Havana. It's Cuban nights. Havana nights or whatever. So they're all happy and excited and.

[Ronnie Karam]

Fraser down into the galley and he's like, this evening, Captain's at the table, don't forget. And he goes, I know, I know, bro. Why are you telling me this? I know already. And he's like, but no pressure, obviously, because we do this together, me and you. I. You fail. I watch you and cheer you on and say, fail. And then I say, why don't you fail? It's going to be amazing. He's like, I have a lot of to do, bro. Okay? Can you just let me concentrate on my shit?

[Ben Mandelker]

Fraser's like, no, I totally understand. I just want to make sure that the timing is okay so you don't fail again in front of Captain Carrie like you did last year.

[Ronnie Karam]

I cannot be four. I cannot be for eight. We can go at eight, but I cannot be four.

[Ben Mandelker]

Forehead, I know what I'm doing. So, Fraser, you need to calm down because I need to focus 100%. Fraser, he want to help me, but you cannot talk to me like this because you're going to have problems together. I'm the fucking boss right now. Actually, Mommy is the boss, and then I am the next boss. And I am not going to let people shut me down, put me down again. I am an amazing chef, and I'm going to show them that I'm fucking rockstar. And soon mommy get to tell her friends my son got a in cooking.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, I'm just trying to tell you the situation. I mean, there's no stress. I just want you to know, if you fail this, you'll never work again. Do you understand what the fuck you talking about?

[Ben Mandelker]

No stress? Why you say this to me?

[Ronnie Karam]

You're like, blah, blah, blah, blah. But you don't need to be like that. I'm just trying to tell you I'm here for you when you fail, inevitably. Do you understand?

[Ben Mandelker]

Captain is at the table, so of course it's distress. Okay?

[Ronnie Karam]

Look at you, worrying your shit's not going to be good. Blah, blah, blah. We know your shit's not going to be good. Do you understand what I'm saying? We're an audience who's already seen Gone with the Wind, just waiting for you to vow not to eat turnips again. Do you understand that's what I'm trying to say.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't understand what Gone with the Wind is, but if it is a Gerard Depradieu movie, I will definitely watch.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's a slightly racist movie the gay people still watch event occasionally. All right? You'll get it one day. And if you're ever invited anywhere, which you won't be, because you're going to fail again, but I'll still be your friend. You understand that, don't you?

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, no, Mommy, he is getting in my head. So, yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, My God, Fraser's stressing me out, which normally I would get, but I don't think Fraser's really doing anything that bad. Just like you, okay? He's like, how dare you? You're trying to take me down.

[Ben Mandelker]

So actually, dinner is fine. It goes off without hitch. It's very nice. Yeah, everything's great.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then my personal favorite critique is, wow, the branzino. So tender. Really, Darlene, does branzino often have a problem with being tender? I've never had a hard bran Zeno.

[Ben Mandelker]

Before, but okay, well, Darlene's been through a lot, you know, and. And it is. It is time for Darlene theater. She's like, well, everyone, I know you've been wondering how I got this little broken wing over here. Well, we were coming down an icy trail and I went over it and I fell back and I tried to correct by putting my pull down, and then I felt my arm behind me, and then I literally. Then I heard a snap and my arm fell off. I'm not lying. What you're looking at right here, this is a tree branch with nail polish.

[Ronnie Karam]

A magical snowman came down and kissed a tree branch, and now it's my arm. So I'd just like to thank that magical snowman. And Jake goes, yeah, that was her arm. That was her arm that snapped. Yeah, Jake, they get it, okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

They get it. I think, you know, notice how I said I put my arm back there and then I heard a snap there. They followed it. They knew that that was the arm that snapped that. I just want to make sure they knew it wasn't your Farberware porcelain that you brought on the slope. Okay, Jake, don't. Everyone knows.

[Ronnie Karam]

So down in the butler pantry, Celine is like, oh, look, Rainbow. Is he at the butter now? Look at the butter. It's perfect. I did the perfect butter for you. Do you like. And she's like, you know what? I love you. I love you so much. Get over here. Let me hug your head in my armpit. Okay? Yeah. I love you so much. I know you're not my biggest fan, but I sure love you. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Such a weird thing to say. Such a passive aggressive weird thing to do. And Slain's like, well, you know, sometimes we fight, but it works. It's normal. Just. Well, it's not usually like, I'm not usually like a girl's girl. I'm kind of like a. I don't know, like, find a jagged piece of glass and cram it into your neck girl. But you guys are so nice. That I'd rather just. We all get along, you know?

[Ronnie Karam]

That's so sad. It's just such a way. That whole thing is such a sad way to phrase something. Like, normally I don't like girls, but you guys are nice and it seems like you like each other and I would rather you're nice to me so I don't have to yell at you. So can we just do that?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's also funny because her saying I'm not usually a girl's girl is. Is very non reality star. Because a lot of female reality stars love to proclaim that they are girls girls. Like, we see it on Love island right now. It's like, I'm such a girls girl. But usually the people who declare that they're girls. Girls are not girls girls. They. That's why they have to declare it, because they're trying to convince themselves and other people that they are, despite their own actions. But here she's like, yeah, I'm not a girl's girl.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Because they have that a lot. Right? Like, you see it a lot on Big Brother shows like that, where people are like, yeah, girls don't like me. So whatever. They're just jealous because I'm so hot, you know? And then they. You see in five minutes why girls don't like them because they're vile to all the girls, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

And that's kind of a rainbow. But rainbow's not your stereotypical one because usually they're like kind of bimbo type girls. You're like, oh, my God, girls hate me because I'm like, so hot.

[Ben Mandelker]

Usually it's like women who are like, yeah, usually they're like women who are like, vying for male attention and affection and approval and at the expense of other girls, which is why they're not girls girls. But for Rainbow, she's like, not a girls girl because she was literally trained that other girls are threats to her and she has to destroy them and leave them on an island in Holland.

[Ronnie Karam]

They're literally trying to destroy her because their father made them do it. So Carrie's like, all right, yeah. He's talking to Fraser and I was talking to the guests. He's like, so when I was married, you know, I'd be. I'd be way months at a time with the crew. You know, we'd get to know each other pretty well. My wife would flow in, we'd go out for a crew dinner, and, you know, you know, what, what do you like? And one of my crew people would say, carrie wants this. And the wife's like, no, he doesn't. And then she's like, yes, he does. He likes it. And it's crazy. It's because you work with them, you know, they know you like your wife. So I ended up leaving my wife for the crewmate, actually, which is a good thing. I'm like, this story is so up knowing that he ended up. Especially when he says it's a female, he's like, yeah. And she knew better than my wife. That I liked. I was like, is this the one you left your wife for, sir? Come on now. Awkward.

[Ben Mandelker]

So that was a lovely story. And as we start our day with a celebration, we're going to end our day with a celebration. Here it is. A red velvet cake. And then Jake is like, that's a cake, honey. Yeah, we know, we know. Thanks for pointing out the obvious again, Jake. Yeah, appreciate that.

[Ronnie Karam]

And one of the guys is like, are you gonna pay for my trainer's extra month that I'm gonna need? First it's a soft branzino and then a cake. A velvet cake. Or you people get. Put a. Put a freaking candle on a branzino and call it a day. Am I right? Oh, hold on. Doing some clenches. Clenching my butt. Can you guys tell? Gotta work off these calories.

[Ben Mandelker]

Fraser, I'm afraid I'm not gonna be able to eat this. I am unfortunately allergic to red velvet cake because every time I eat it, I break out in handcuffs again. I guess it doesn't work as well with red. Red velvet. Okay. Because it does with alcohol, but.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Carrie's like, awesome job, Mike. Food came out. Good presentation. He's like, oh. Oh, yes. Thanks, Captain. Thank you. I did it. Captain Lovett. He's proud of me. This means so much to me. I win. I win. I'm good again. I'm good again. Nothing can go wrong. They'll be crying next week. It'll be two seconds. Next week. They'll be like, the. The guest was allergic to peanuts and you gave him peanut butter toast for breakfast. He's dead now.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now is. This is the second day and it's sort of flying by, and Carrie's like, dick time. Deck team, are there any guests on the fly Bridge? And KO's like, no. Guess I did not realize we have a bridge for the flies. I thought they have wings. Why do they need a fly? No, it's not. Not what? It's not that. That's not how a Ford fly bridge is. Okay. Kay. I'll just get back to work.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now people have filet mignon, lobster tail. We're already at dinner again. Because you're right. They're just fast forwarding through this whole thing. These people do nothing. They had an 8:30, you know, full moon party. And we just see little shots of the whole trip that the guests have. And the cinematography of it's great, you know, but apparently really boring because we see nothing. So now everybody goes to bed and it's the next day. And Rainbow sees Solene in the Little Buntry. And also I think it's that it keeps happening in the Butler Pantry, which is really tight anyway. But she keeps coming up to her in there and she's like, good morning, beautiful. How are you? Oh, can I hug you from behind? Do you mind if I give you.

[Ben Mandelker]

A little kissy kiss on the neck maybe?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. God. God. Normally not a girl's girl, but you taste so good. We're friends, Ryan. I'm a cool girl. Hey, tell your friends who are girls, okay? Spread the news. Just another kissing girl. Lovely girl.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Lane's like, okay. So she throws herself down the staircase. Is like, barbara, this morning I was washing dishes and she tells me, hi, babes. And she hugs and kisses. It just, you know, and. And Barbara's like, no, I don't like that. I don't like her. I don't know. I don't like that. No, she's stupid. I don't appreciate. And so's like, no, she's trying to be kind of. She trying to. And Bar's like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if she's really trying or pretending or she pretending she's trying. But, like, we don't vibe. No. Don't like her. What. What is your name again? Rainbow. Yeah, her. Don't like her.

[Ronnie Karam]

So I don't like. So. So. So now it's time for the meter calling again. Oh, my God. All right, here we go. Here we go. Calling meters. How far are we to the dark? What a man.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's what a mighty good man A mighty, mighty good man. Kyle, please stop. Turn off your Spotify and please call some distances.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, okay. An old man turns 98. He won the lottery and died the next day. It's like a black fly in your chardonnay. It's like. It's like 10,000. It's like. It's like so many things that are ironic.

[Ronnie Karam]

God damn it. We just hit that. We just hit the deck again. Come on, guys. I'm not looking for stern distance. I want you I want you to pull my stern across, take up the slack. He's. Throw the rope. He's like, okay, okay, I can do this. I can do this. I need a new drug. One that won't make me sweat. God damn it.

[Ben Mandelker]

There's a woman on the outside looking inside. Does she see me? No, she does not really see me. She sees her own reflection. And as she turns the other way, I'm starting to hear that. Okay, you're. You're back on season. Vega again. You looped around.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, my God. The fore deck have got their line on as they should. The AF deck team need to get that stern line on. If they don't, we've got an issue with long. Gets up into the thruster at all because the guys didn't get the stern line on top. Next thing you know, line eater. Line eater. They're going to be calling me line eater up and down the coast.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's a line eater. Never want some. Ever want some him. So. So now it's like they. They dock and everything. But it's not a good docking. It's like a bad docking. It's embarrassing. Everything's wrong. And Carrie had to, like, tell Ko to do a million things. He's like, I'm running out of excuses. The boy's not getting his job right, okay? And he's letting me down. He's letting his team down. It's too much for him. Sort of say, the boy is not mine.

[Ronnie Karam]

So the guests have to go. And Jack's like, wow. The service. Taking care of my wife with a bad arm and her husband with a bad breakout of alcoholism. But you guys did it. Darlene, you want to say anything? She's like, I just want to thank the snowman who kissed my arm so I can half hug all of y' all on the way out of here. Got. God damn it. And also, don't go skiing on helicopters. Okay, Darlene, out.

[Ben Mandelker]

Stick to the lakes and the rivers that you're used to. Oh, God, it happened to me. Now that's happening to me.

[Ronnie Karam]

Contagious.

[Ben Mandelker]

She starts to cry. She's literally like. And by the way, thank you so much for getting me ice for my arms. Like, okay. Darlene's had a little bit too much Schlitz this morning. We're gonna get out of here before she winds up in handcuffs, too, if you know what I'm saying. She gets emotional. She's a woman. That's what they do. Okay, thanks, everyone.

[Ronnie Karam]

Deported. They've just deported. Darlene, you shouldn't have asked for ice. It's the wrong time, darling. Hey, wait a minute. She's being take on taken off in a helicopter. Well, not again.

[Ben Mandelker]

So car's like, well, we've had a lovely group of people on this boat. Never had a person with a broken arm on a charter before. What was that?

[Ronnie Karam]

Right?

[Ben Mandelker]

A cast. You're not part of the cast. Why would she keep seeing cast before? I don't know. I've never seen a broken arm before. It's all very strange. Strange to me. Anyway, she didn't feel excluded at all. Not even after I pointed at her and said, haha, stupid broken arm. Anyway, I mean, I tried, I tried as hard as I could to exclude her, but she just kept on being involved in things. It was terrible. It's really difficult. Maybe I could have spent less time having to deal with kl. I could have spent more time making her feel like she was stuck in a corner somewhere.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right, you've got $28,000. That's double what the gays gave us. So, you know, let's thank God for heterosexuals, Everybody. All right, 21.50 each. Go off, be merry. Do not give it to any gay people. I'm telling you, if any gay people wait on you, do not tip them, right? We are gonna get that money back somehow. Carrie calls Kyle to the bridge and Kyle's like, oh, if the captain is not pleased, it makes me not pleased. But then I think, squint, squint here. What were we talking about?

[Ben Mandelker]

And so Kyle's like, all right. I mean, Carrie's like, all right, mate, I'm having this conversation with you that I don't want to have or I really want you to succeed here. And the thing is, we keep having these little errors. They keep on adding up. A small error like, I don't know, crashing into a boat or I don't know, sinking in the middle of Mullet Bay. Each time I think that we've gonna, we're gonna get the point. No errors. We get another error in this problem with you that I'm having is that I'm losing confidence in you and the expectation of a job on this. But do you realize we had a lady with a broken arm on this boat and I didn't even get to make fun of her because I was dealing with all your errors.

[Ronnie Karam]

I didn't even get to properly roast my daughter for not knowing the capital of Australia. Yeah, taking up all my time, mate.

[Ben Mandelker]

Can bearer. More like can't bear it because I'm dealing With you and all your mistakes.

[Ronnie Karam]

All right, so I've got to let you go, mate. And then it just closes up on Kaya's face. He's like, so what did you want to tell me? You're fired. So you wanted to have a talk? You gotta go. Okay, so you want me to stay? No, you've gotta go. I can't wait to do this forever. Please leave.

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen, this is. Normally I have to tell you something three times and I'm coming in around number seven at this point. You thought it.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's just like, shakes his hair and looks at him like, fascinating, fascinating discussion we're having and that's it. Will Kyle even realize that he's fired? I don't know. I'm not convinced.

[Ben Mandelker]

But we knew he was going to be fired because as we mentioned earlier in, earlier in the season when we saw that the chef was not going to stay with us because Peacock put up a photo of the entire cast, like, literally the first week that this, this, this, this premiered. And we saw in the cast photo that Anthony was there instead of the. The born again chef and that there was a totally different boson. So, like, it's just been a matter of time just waiting for this guy to get fired. I don't know. This is a blatant spoiler.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, it's pretty good. We only had to wait till episode six to meet the new person. That's good.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's true.

[Ronnie Karam]

Because so many people could go at this point, like Rainbow. I mean, how long does she have? She's gonna have a nervous breakdown by episode eight.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, Selen, who literally can't do her job. She just.

[Ronnie Karam]

They can't. They can't ever get rid of Selen.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, they won't. They definitely won't. She's too funny. But, yeah, that's it. So, everyone, thanks for being here. And again, we won't have a below deck recap next week, but the week after. We sure will.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay, everybody. Yeah, we'll see you next time. Bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ronnie Karam]

It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet. Cootard we love you guys is if you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery. Com Survey.