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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ronnie Karam
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one, guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay. It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.
Ben Mandelker
So as someone who recently just read Sheena Shay's autobiography, because I will be appearing later this month on the wonderful podcast Glamorous Trash with Chelsea devontez, which you were on when you talked about Ariana's book. I did Sheena's book. Sheena does talk about how she met Janet very briefly. And she says that she met Janet at the Sky Bar at like a fan thing. And like the, the paragraph was kind of like, well, I met this girl and she was sort of like a fan. But it turns out like we like really hit it off and we spent the entire night and then we just like, like, I don't know, we started like hanging out together all the time. So, like, it is confirmed that Janet was really, she really was like a fan that Sheena. Sheena met and just like adored. And then she just brought her right.
Ronnie Karam
Into the group and she infiltrated the group. Dawn, dance on. I wish I could.
Ben Mandelker
I wish I had that, that, that, that passage. I would have read it on the air. It would have been wonderful.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Yeah, man. Making it through Sheena's book, that's much more difficult than the Ariana book because that one was drinks. You know, there were just like, like your inner girl power, peace, margarita. You know, it was like much easier to get through. I don't know that I could get through Sheena's.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, Sheena's book is very easy to get through. It's pure comedy the entire way from to end. It is one of the funniest reads you'll ever have. Everything is like, well, I was being bullied and I was like, so mean. And then like, Eddie, Eddie Sabrian made me like sign a thing that Says, I would never speak about this. And of course, because I'm a people pleaser, I signed it like, everything is like, well, I didn't want to do this, but I'm such a people pleaser, I guess I had to do it.
Ronnie Karam
I'm such a good person. It's very Sheena. So she's like, well, I have a very tiny bottle of F and they're almost all out. I don't know if I have any more left for cardboard fan Janet. And Brittany's like, oh, yeah, you weren't that folks to give. That is hilarious, Kristen. So then we go to boat scenes. Everybody's getting ready to go on this boat. And Janet's like, this has been planned as our last night of fun, and I was looking forward to it, and I gave Kristen her night. So now I'm gonna hang out with my friends. What's the worst that can happen? Maybe I'll get thrown overboard. I can't wait to go ruin everybody else's night. You gotta have a hobby.
Ben Mandelker
So then they go to the boat and they're all. They're all getting on, and as they're driving there, Kristen butt dials Brittany. Like, that would be my dream is to get a butt dial from Kristen. Because then they're all sitting there and. And all they hear is Jesse saying. He's like, put me in the ocean. Fucking sea turtles. Like, I'm excited. And they're like, what? What is Jesse saying? And you hear, like, fragments of Kristen speaking like, you know, salah ocean, cardboard bottle of fucks running out.
Ronnie Karam
We better find a dolphin. They actually got really lucky with that butt dial because that could have been a lot worse. So now they go. Michelle and Janet are just looking like, oh, my God, there's a phone. And Michelle's like, oh, my God. Grizzden is very buddy buddy with Jezzy. And Janet's like, yeah, best friends forever and ever. Let's get her. Let's get her. So they go to the Prada Maui boat. And Danny's like, yeah, today's the last day of our trip. I just hope we all get along. If there's any kind of problems, let's just put it aside. I'm not going to let anybody steal my piece.
Ben Mandelker
Daniel. So they get Hunt. Luke is wearing these, like, like, really short shorts. Like, just showing off everything. Like, it is like a sailor romper. Yeah, but they're like, they're up. They're not only tiny shorts, but these also hike them up high. So, like, his. It's not really a dick outline. It is like a. It's a full on, like, sack bulge. Like, it is out and in front. Like, everyone can just see his business. And I'm like, what? Why? Why did he decide to have this moment? Like no one else was doing it.
Ronnie Karam
He's in the stupid outfit and I go, God, I see your moose knuckle. So Janice, like, Kristen's being cold, which I expected, so I'm just going to avoid her. And, you know, I'm just going to see where the life vests are in case it seems maybe better to jump. I like Dave and Busters. I'm a casserole person, basically. So. So now, I don't know. It's a bunch of small.
Ben Mandelker
There's a lot of chat, chatter, knuckle getting seasick and everything. Like, oh, my God, are you a gay stripper? And then Michelle is talking to Janice, like, so have you and Kristen said hi to each other at all? And Jazz like, no, I don't. I don't know what to say. It's just a little awkward. I mean, it was so hard deciding between whether I should leave quietly or I should stay and intrude. I don't know. It's been a dilemma I've been going through. Yes, you've told me 10 times about your dilemma. Yeah, it has been entered into my AI.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So then Michelle, Janice, like, when did Jesse start being an. And Michelle's like, well, he wasn't a douche when I met him. He was in a shitty one bedroom apartment and he did not have money. And it was Zuba romantic because he had candles. But then we made money and his real Captain Douchebag game out. He should wear an outfit that says Gabden Douchebag on the boat.
Ben Mandelker
I think the outfit is called Honey company. So then everyone likely changes out of his outfit, which is nice. Etc, and then they're all like, just gathering fun things on the boat. And Brittany's like, hey, Jaden, you want to stay with us? He wants it. She's like, no, I'm gonna sit at the table that's right very close to you, but, like, not part of you guys. So you guys can see that I'm an outcast right now. So I'm gonna sit here with Jason. Thank you very much.
Ronnie Karam
I'm gonna look as victimized as possible by sitting over here, even though I've been invited to sit with other people. Thank you. And so Luke gives a speech, and then Zach's like, oh, my God, you guys, there's Sharks. Let's throw chum in so sharks come. We could throw Jax Taylor in there. I'm dead. I'm, like, dead right now. I'm like, literally, mother. I'm like, mother. I just mothered myself. Is that possible?
Ben Mandelker
And I love. In the background during all this, for no reason, we just hear Britney go, I love bikin. Bikin. And chicken.
Ronnie Karam
I don't know, Britney scent. Like, if Britney ever came out with a perfume. Bacon.
Ben Mandelker
What was the thing she said last week that was cracking us up? She had some other things.
Ronnie Karam
Chicken fajitas.
Ben Mandelker
But there was something else aside from the chicken fajitas that she said that was so ridiculous.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, well, I guess I thought it was chicken fajitas.
Ben Mandelker
I've been saying it was that and something else. I don't even know. Life, you know, just rots away your brain.
Ronnie Karam
So, okay, so then we go to see what Jax is doing, and he's with Schwartz, and Jax is like, hey, got some news. Guess who got engaged. Dodie. Is that crazy? Yeah. And it's like, oh, it's always the bridesmaid and never the bride.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, well, she's engaged, and short's like, wait, I'm actually really happy for her. I'm gonna text her, and then I'm gonna text every news outlet that I can find. Wait, no, no, I shouldn't do that. Wait, did you. You should text her? You. You text her? Did you text Luke? He's like, yeah, I already did. But, like, I don't know if you're allowed to know, so don't text anyone. Oh, okay. All right. But I mean, I've already said something in the group chat. And also, okay, magazine that's a Radar Online, National Geographic, and Dog Fancy, so I don't know if I had missed any outlets.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. You know, it's the one thing it's never going to change about me. You know, I have big mouth. That's just how I got a big mouth. And then we see clips of him just telling over the years. I just want to thank the producers for giving us a Jack scene that does not have violin or tinkling piano music that's supposed to make us feel sad for Jax. Thank you.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
I think it's the first time this season that we. It's not like, poor Jax.
Ben Mandelker
So now Brittany and Zach are talking on the boat. She goes, you know, I know. I just should not have told Jax, and I don't even know why. But you also have to remember that he was my person for a very, very long time up until right now and continuing going forward. And Zach is like, no, no, I. I agree. I agree, but. And I am disappointed in myself because I just. I know I. I knew he would tell because I should have known he would tell, and I knew he would tell, and I don't know what I told him because I knew he would tell. It's like, you know, I appreciate that, but, like, I just didn't even think about it. It's like, crazy. It's like. It's like when I first got married to him, I was like, I don't even think about that. Or when I first met him, I was like, oh, I didn't even think about that. Oh, God, look at my pickle. That. I mean, speaking of which, we have any pickles around here? Hello.
Ronnie Karam
Pickles with bacon. So she's like, I don't even think I'm backsliding into Jax. It's just. He's my person. He's my person for 10 years, and it's, like, easy to meet somebody who still lives. I mean, I would still be with Jax if it weren't for everything he pulled. For everything he pulled. You married a horrible fucking human being, okay? He was. He. Before you even married him. He cheated on you. He was kicked out of Hawaii. He was arrested in Hawaii for stealing from a Sunglass Hut woman.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, my God.
Ben Mandelker
I forgot about that. The sunglass hot thing. You know, the good news, though, is that I think that. I think that rehab is really working, and I think that, like, Jax is finally. He's just not no longer making himself the victim of every single situation. So we go back to him. He's like, I just got out of rehab and I got served divorce papers five minutes later. I mean, how are bad? That's me. I'm the victim here, Okay? I mean, it's hard. And I talked about to Brittany this morning about it, and I go, do you really, really want to do this? Like, are you really on board? Like. And she didn't really answer me. I'm like, do we exhaust everything? Do we go to therapy? Like, I don't know. Like, Schwartz is like, no, no, get divorced. Don't do this. Don't do this.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, you want to stay there because she has a stream of income that you want to keep stealing, you fucking low life. And Schwartz is like, no. I mean, was that an angle? Are you trying to instill still a seat of doubt? He's like, I was just like, can we just put a pill in it? Can we just put a pill in It. You know what I mean? Because, like, I mean, is that a bad idea? You know, I just got out of rehab. How could she do this to me? It's crazy. I just got out of rehab. Rehab isn't serving a tour. You know what I mean? It's not like you went and did something good for somebody. He's. He's making it sound like, oh, my God, you were a jackasser. Okay?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And he's like, she didn't even give me a chance to prove anything. Well, she did, actually. And you proved to her that you are not going to change because you texted her rage text the entire time while you're supposed to be getting therapy and working on yourself. So you did prove something to her, and she took that and she divorced your ass. And so I didn't even need to add an an. So that was it. That was the period, period on that statement. So Schwartz is like, dude, it's just a ticking time bomb. And I mean, I think if you moved him back together, I mean, you would end up in jail, so.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, I'm a little boy. Yeah. Listen to Schwartz. I don't think I've ever said that to anybody, but listen to Schwartz. He's actually correct in this one. So he's like, my goal is for Britney. Is for, like, Britney to be like ABBA cable. You know, like, we're gonna, like, be co parents. You know, it's like a big deal because, like, you know, it's been decades, but a decade. Be together. Like, do the right. Like Jax, you can't even speak at this point. Go get a new nose. Let's start there.
Ben Mandelker
He's like, well, to be fair, I think a lot of my resentment came from the fact that for a long time I thought she was saying we'd be co parenting together, and now I realize that that's not gonna be part of it, so.
Ronnie Karam
Talk about a false promise. She started it. So then we go back to Brittany, and she's like, I just can't deal with this drama for the rest of my life, which is why I call Jax every night. So I'm just trying to work things in, you know, I'm like, we can co parent. We may have chicken feet, we may have bacon. You know how it is. He's like, okay, let me just say this. Last night, I saw you falling back into a pattern. Like, you telling me that you've already given him privileges back that he hasn't earned. She's like, well, I mean, you know, Zuli was there. Zuli was there when he was there so that some like he only had the privilege to be around the nanny. Zuli.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. No, all I say is you can come and give like wake up and like bedtime and take him to school 8:45 in the morning and then if you want to make yourself a sandwich at lunch and just like stay there for a few days or I don't know, move back in, like that's fine. But basically that's all that that was.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And he's like, well, okay, these are divorce page PRs. Look, are you going to sign them? And she's like, yeah, I'm going to sign them, I'm going to sign them. Bacon.
Ben Mandelker
So there's just like more, there's just more boat stuff. Zach keeps like flopping all over the boat deck. Cuz he's like walking on boats is like so hard and he's getting seasick. And then Janet, Michelle are talking and Michelle's, Jan's like, you know, it's been like somewhat of a good vacation I feel like. I think so for the most part. So by the way, when we were doing the luau yesterday, you know, hula dancing, etc, Zach wanted to talk to me and we talked about the Jenna thing and he was like, it wasn't malicious and I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. So he has apologized.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And Jenna's like, well that's nice. She's. Michelle's like, yes. This girl Jenna that Aaron's ones OKDAB with, I suddenly always see her everywhere and I never saw her before. Michelle, I'm sorry, but you're dating somebody that somebody in the friend group. What do you want? Like you can't change the history of the group. If you don't want it, then don't date somebody who's somebody in the friend group. You chose her, you chose him.
Ben Mandelker
Be more secure in it too. Like it's fine. They, they slept. All these people have slept with each other, so it's okay. So she goes, you know, he was like, you know, I just think that other people play a role in this. And he actually brought up Sheena and you. And so we see a flashback of like a conversation they all had together. And Zach's like, I think that like you just have to like, like you, you think it's like all in Kristen but like Jenna's plans and everything. But like if you look at it, Janet and Sheena, they've been like talking about it more like they're the ones that brought it up. And they're, like, trying to make it a thing, so. Whereas Kristen never did. So he's basically like, don't be mad at Kristen. Be mad at Sheena and Janet instead. And poor Sheena. Yeah, that was, like, the subject she knows. Like, the subject of all this stuff. She's worked so hard to get this feud going, and she didn't even get to go on the cast trip.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, well, that's what my first reaction was. Even though Zach was the one to bring it up on camera or to bring Jonah on, I thought, this is for sure. Sheena's dirty work. Like, Sheena was all over that episode. Like, in every plot line. It was something Sheena had manufactured, you know, or not manufactured, but, like, brought up. So Jenna's like, wait, so Zach's trying to imply that it's not Kristen and Zach that are bringing Jenna around, it's somehow me and Sheena? No, he's implying that you guys are the ones who keep bringing up that Jenna was with Aaron first and. Yes. That you're the ones trying to make a big deal out of it. And he's just the one that brought her on tv.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
And so Jenna's like, oh, my God. Like, having some girl that's in, like, the outskirts of the friend group coming around and talking about when she hooked up with Aaron years ago is probably the most uncomfortable thing ever. And obviously, you're my real friend, and I would never, ever try to hurt you until next season because I've already got enough going on this year.
Ben Mandelker
So I know that, and I feel that. And as someone who's going through a worse divorce than anyone right now, I appreciate that. And Janet's like, and Sheena loves you, and I know she would do anything for you two because she is a people pleaser. I'm gonna say that on her behalf. So this is confusing. So then Zach appears, and Janet's like, zach, if anyone's trying to say that, like, I'm trying to whip up stuff about Jenna, you know? And he's like, okay, wait, hold on, hold on. I'm gonna go tell Kristen and have Kristen come talk. I'm gonna have Kristen come join me.
Ronnie Karam
He's like, I really wanna have a good friendship talk with you. Hold on. Coming right down. Kristen, come. Let's go yell at Janet. She's like, okay, okay, let's try it. So they both. And by the way, I just want.
Ben Mandelker
I just want to say that this is how, you know, this is a great season because I love when all the. All the scandals and the fights bleed into each other. Because now we are going, we're starting talking about how Michelle has a beef with Kristen because she thinks that Kristen brought Jenna around to sabotage her. And this discussion about what Kristen was doing is then going to set up the other fight that they wind up having that has nothing to do with Jenna at all, but winds up being the explosive fight and, like, the fact that they can, like, interweave. I actually went back and watched this two or three times to be like, wait, how do we even get to this fight? And it's like, fascinating to see how these, these fights feed into each other and they build off each other and they're also intertwined with each other. That's a good season of a show.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. We acting bad, bad, bad, bad?
Ben Mandelker
We ain't trying to hurt nobody.
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
So Jenna's like, okay, well, I just wanted to clear up where this Jenna thing came from. And he's like, well, but Michelle was saying, like, where did Jenna come from? And so I've known and hung out with her. And Kristen's like, oh, I'm 17 years, as long as I've known her. So it's a pretty long time. Longer than a fan.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, as. And by the way, next year it could be 18 years. So as one icon might say, we're on the edge of 17. You know what I'm saying? Anyone? Anyone get the reference? No. So then Zach is like, yeah, the week I moved her, I moved here. I met with Sheena. And like, yeah, she called her best friend. Yeah, Sheena has called Jenna her best friend. Like, Jenna's been around. Like, everyone knows about Jenna. Everyone knows Ben Mandelker even saw Jenna in, like, the gym once, like in 2012. So look like everyone knows about her. Yeah, I didn't know.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, Zach's like, well, yeah, China was around and then Sheena brought you into this. So, yeah, so basically, like, she was here first, right? And so Kristen's like, yeah, and she started shit. That was unnecessary. So Zach says, yeah, all this leads back to Janet and Sheena. All these rumors, you know, they're just. They're just as messy as a three year old that just got handed a bowl of spaghetti. You know, that shit's going everywhere. Did you get that? That was good, right? That was good. That was difficult.
Ben Mandelker
It painted a picture because I think we can all see what the 3 year old looks like, what the spaghetti looks like. And we've seen lots of Tide commercials, so let's just use that. Let's keep going with that now, by.
Ronnie Karam
The way, I love the little he gets in his eyes and he's like, that's a gaff. That's a gaff.
Ben Mandelker
I don't think that our sweet mariposa is. Is exonerated by any of this, by the way, because as much as I adore Kristen on the show, she is allied with Jesse at the moment. And Jesse is out to prove he's his big thing is he's out to prove that Michelle cheated on him with Aaron. And so Jenna is like, perhaps a smoking gun in this. In this situation. So I think that Jesse for sure leaned on the powers of Kristen, Sheena, and Janet to get this done, especially Sheena. I think that Sheena is definitely the one behind this the most. But I don't think that Kristen is totally like, hands off on this. This glorious mess.
Ronnie Karam
But I don't care, because ultimately you're fucking somebody who fucked within the friend group, so he's fair game. Like, that's it. And now he miraculously appears on the show to promote his honey company. So it's just another fan. Well, maybe, like, come on. To, like, work his way, worm his way into the circle. He started just like Jason started with Sheena, and then he ended up with Janet, and then they somehow ended up getting on a show.
Ben Mandelker
You know, maybe we're selling Michelle. Maybe we got away from what. What Michelle's really mad about. Maybe what she is mad about is not that he slept with Jenna. Maybe she's mad because she knows they're trying to weaponize Jenna to destroy, like, everything in her life, like, to prove that she was cheating when she was with Jesse and to sort of, like, to. To bring ruin. So maybe that's. Maybe we've sort of.
Ronnie Karam
I forgot, like, when Jenna was with him and because Jenna said, yeah, there's a lot. I think you're right. That they're establishing. They're probably trying to establish a timeline, but I still don't care.
Ben Mandelker
I love it. This show's so good. Like, this is amazing. As we talk about it, like, there's so much storyline happening here. It is. This is when I love our job.
Ronnie Karam
And I love that their argument in this fight is like, yeah, but Jenna has more of a right than you guys, because Jenna's been on this show for years. Like, she was the last. She's been a bit playing around Vanderpump Rules, and she's done all of this, so you don't get to pretend. Like, how can we bring Jenna on camera? Jenna's been on camera way longer than you. So they keep cementing, like, we've known her 17 years, this and that. So if anybody has a right to come on camera in this crew, it's her, not you. Which I really like that they're using their years on the show against her.
Ben Mandelker
I really hope that, like, Sheena and Jenna are on some, like, little inflatable dinghy somewhere around the aisle and just looking for the yacht. Like, it's around the corner. I swear we'll get on the show. We'll do it. Come on. Just around the Riverbend.
Ronnie Karam
You know, Jenna's pulling a Katie and watching all of this from a hotel balcony somewhere.
Ben Mandelker
So, yeah, so they're just accusing Sheena of starting all this, etc, and. And we see flashbacks and she was like, and here's Another thing about Zach, he's drunk and he blacks out and forgets everything that he said. Okay. Oh, and here's another thing. But, like, I'm gonna, like, talk about your back. We're probably against your fact. And here's another flashback. I don't have another flashback. Just like, oh, my God. Like, I have just a. My people pleaser.
Ronnie Karam
I have one of each of the prime cocktails. So Michelle's like, well, I was very uncomfortable of what you said to Aaron in the moment that you. You met him. And she's like, well, right. Because, like, we asked Aaron if he's friends with Jenna, because that's when I met him. And I was like, wait a minute. Are you friends with Jenna? Because I thought he was friends with Jenna. Like, sorry. I mean, that was me and you at El Coyote because I was frustrated because she is on one side, and you're like, on the other side screaming bloody murder. And Janet's like, that is not how I remember that situation. And then we cut to her being like, calm down. Take a step. Oh, I'm sorry. That was the. That was the scene that she stole 40 years ago or whatever.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, no, I don't remember that. It was unnecessary. It was unnecessary. Well, look, Michelle was not dating Aaron in 2022, and I know that. Yeah, but, like, what. Why did you yell at me at El Coyote and go, oh, yes, you did say that, Kristen. Accountability.
Ronnie Karam
Accountability.
Ben Mandelker
Air quotes. And I was like, true color. Great song. And you've been my ass all summer telling me you want to repair things. And then you scream at me like that. And now we transition into Kristen and Janet's beef, which was given. We used Michelle and Janet's situation to now bounce into this feud right here. Like, while you're trying to make things better with me. And then you yelled at me at El Coyote.
Ronnie Karam
Well, I did want to repair things until you spread rumors about my husband. It's like, oh, my God. We talked about in person. We sat down at the shark party.
Ben Mandelker
Another Jaws tie in. We were at a shark party. Like, we're literally at a shark party. By the way, that shark party, now that I say it was totally. I'm guarantee that that NBCU was like, please. Since the Valley will be airing during the jaws 50th, you are mandated to have some sort of shark festivity happening on your show in some way.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Brittany does really love Shark Week, though. She's so. She used to always post imagine Shark Week.
Ben Mandelker
I wonder those sharks, like, chicken plate isn't bacon as much as I do.
Ronnie Karam
Sharks love biking. So Kristen's like, yeah, we already talked about that. And you said. You even said, this is a joke. I'm like, well, I know my husband, and I know he's upstanding and wonderful and trustworthy and committed, and he would never, ever, ever put flour tortillas in a castle. How dare you? Whatever day. Come on, let's go murder my child.
Ben Mandelker
All right.
Ronnie Karam
With allegations.
Ben Mandelker
Say that. No, let's. Come on. Let's hurry up. Hurry up. Okay. There's nothing.
Ronnie Karam
Why are you doing this? Like, wrap it up. Why are you doing that? Stop doing that while I'm speaking. That's so rude. I know who Jason is. Okay? I know. What. You're gonna laugh. You're gonna laugh now. You are gonna laugh. What, are you trying to abuse me? Kristen is physically abusing me with laughter. That's what's happening. Kristen is assaulting me with laughter.
Ben Mandelker
Listen, I didn't accuse him of anything. I just repeated something. That's the difference. That's what I learned from Vicki Gunvalson. You're not spreading a rumor if you're just repeating one.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, she didn't accuse him of anything. She just said a rumor. We all heard it. We all heard the rumor. And check. You repeated a rumor to damage his reputation. Do you notice? That man stands up for corporations against workers rights. How dare you try and come for that reputation? It is golden.
Ben Mandelker
It is wild that Kristen's hiding behind this. I'm just repeating what I heard. The only person who's allowed to hide behind anything is me when I'm standing in my oven and the hood is blocking my face. So, like, I don't know how many times that's an excuse. I mean, you're just as much to blame. Your hands are dirty, and you are her gossip. And, like, Kristen and Luke went and were like, hey, this is being said about you. So they are. It's not spreading a rumor. But at the same time, it was only, like, an episode earlier or earlier in that episode when Kristen was like, well, as far as I know, Jason goes out without a ring on his finger. So I'm like, you kind of did. Yes, you did tell them about it, but you also did spread the rumor in a spready rumor kind of way.
Ronnie Karam
Well, yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Good for you then.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And even she said it at the time. She's like, I don't even care if it's true. I'm just saying it because they keep with Danny and Nia, and it's not Right. So I'm showing her what it's like to be spreading rumors about people's husbands. So.
Ben Mandelker
Right. So she's like, well, I. And she even says it again. She goes, well, just so you know, I did it because you were attacking Danny and Nia, and I told you that in person. And I said it's because you attacked Danny and Nia. And she's like, well, I mean, attack Danny. Nia. I mean, I said out loud what he did. And there's a big difference. There's a big difference in saying it. I mean, like, so, like, sorry. Sorry that I said out loud that, yes, he sexually assaulted Jasmine and Michelle or Jasmine and Melissa at the bar. Sorry that he sexually sexually assaulted people. Sorry that he's basically a Jeffrey Epstein at Jax's. They should just call it Jeffries instead of Jax's. Sorry I just said it.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And Chris, like, I'm out. I'm out. Sexual assault. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Danny sexually assaulted someone. I'm gonna throw off the boat. I'm gonna throw her off the boat. So she goes and bobbles off. You know, she's like, waving her arms and, like, follow.
Ben Mandelker
I'm so angry. I'm going to walk up the staircase in a very serious manner. Whoa. Okay, little unsteady. Whoa. Oh, a little more unsteady. Okay, I'm almost there. Halfway up the staircase. I am angry. I am angry. Kra. Against the wall. Okay, let's get up to. Oh, against the other wall. Kaka. Almost there. Almost at the top.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So first it's this. She's escalating, you know, First Dany's drunk and maybe inappropriate, and now it's full on damaging slander. And Janet's like, well, that is. Is the definition of sexual assault. My husband's a lawyer, so.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, it doesn't mean that you are a legal expert. I hate when people pull that. My dad's a lawyer. I'm not suddenly, like, jurisprudence. Petty, petty, petty. War deer wardeer, legalese. Like, like, no, you can't, like, hide behind that, Jen. Like, that's the thing. It's like Janet. There's so many ways that Janet can, like, win these arguments, and she messes up every single time. It's hilarious. Like, you just fucked it up by saying that Danny is sexually assaulted. It's like, it's first of all a wild overstatement. And maybe it is. Maybe if. If he were to be arrested, maybe that's how it would be categorized. But we know we're not in the court. Of law. Right now we're in the court of pop of reality tv. And you messed up right there big time.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, I'm looking. I mean, look, no one here, no one on this show is about to stand up for Danny grabbing asses and saying, call me daddy. Okay, that is 100 low life behavior. The man, I don't know, even if he apologizes a million times, it's not even up to Janet. I mean, it's not even up to Jasmine to forgive him if she doesn't want to. Okay, that is my honest opinion. But Janet, Jasmine did forgive him and so did Michelle. They've talked about it ad naughty, ad nauseam. It's been talked about. It's not your thing, Janet. It's not your thing to walk around saying that. And I'm looking up and technically it is in here it says part of the legal definition is sexual contact. Any unwanted touching of the genitals, breasts, or other intimate parts of the body. So, like, technically, yes, but I think that nobody knows when you say sexual assault, that usually means rape or something along those lines.
Ben Mandelker
Molestation or. It just has such heavier connotations. Like it's. Again, we're not talking in clinical terms at a police station booking. Okay, so she knows the connotations of saying it that way. And she can try to be like, well, sorry, like one of the problems about having a husband who's a lawyer, your husband does corporate law. So this doesn't. This, this is not even part of like, what the. Like, I guarantee he's not coming home. Talking about like, well, that qualifies. A sexual assault today. Yeah, it just was. It's just a stupid. It was stupid on her part. And also as. As they say later on, and I'm not even going to bother getting myself all whipped up into a tizzy about this because it's just not worth it. But it really is up for. It's up for Jasmine and whatever her girlfriend's Michelle or whatever her name is. I forget what her name is. All of a sudden. It's up to them to say what. What that experience was. It's not up for Janet.
Ronnie Karam
It's not for Janet to use as a weapon just because she's having a petty fight with someone.
Ben Mandelker
I know Janice should have said. Yeah, like I said something that really happened, which was that Danny got too drunk and he was acting weird and making people feel uncomfortable. That's what she should have said.
Ronnie Karam
Or even if she said sexually harass somebody, you know, okay, like I could, you know, fine. But it's just what Janet does. It's a pattern of what she does. She takes something and then she twists it it into this big, huge thing to villainize other people, you know, and she just looks like the biggest every single time. So that's what she's just done. So Kristen's like, I'm gonna kill her. So she walks up and Mia's like, how did he go? And she. I'm gonna throw the off the boat. That's how it went.
Ben Mandelker
Don't let her seal your peace.
Ronnie Karam
Wasn't anything about me. She goes, not about you. About Daniel. And there I'm respecting you by even calling him by that name, Daniel.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, no, she's still talking about you.
Ronnie Karam
Danny's like, what they do to daddy. What they say, daddy, where they at?
Ben Mandelker
Janet has reached a new low. How dare she say those words about Danny. She has crossed the line. This is actual slander, actual defamation. And by the way, this is truly the gift for Kristen Doty. You know, last night when they were all trying to be on their best behavior. That is not the way to celebrate Kristen. The way to celebrate Kristen is to draw her into some crazy fight and controversy. That is when she's most alive, as she is right now. This is the true. The true celebration of Kristen Doty is this madness.
Ronnie Karam
It has just begun. So she's like, he said that Danny sexually assaulted. That's what she said. And sexual assault. That's what she said. Knuckle. Knuckle. So Janice, like, yeah, unfortunately for Danny, that is the definition. So I'm so sorry that he did that, but I'm not going to be painted as the bad guy for talking about what happened. Okay? And so we. Kristen's like, doing prayer hands. Like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Hold on. Marionette head. Marionette, prayer. Oh, my God.
Ben Mandelker
J. And Jenna goes. I'm sure she's running around to Danny and Nia saying, sexual assault. Cut to sexual assault, Danny. And sexual assault.
Ronnie Karam
So Kristen's like, yeah. And when I repeat, when I repeat, she goes to Jason. And like, when I repeated the rumors about you in the ring, I was wrong. And I felt that Jenny attacking Nia, Danny and Nia, it was like glass houses, you know? And he's like, no, because you thought I was attacking Danny. Just both of you. Both of you. And he's like, well, there's a difference between saying a random rumor, but. And then saying stuff that didn't happen. And she's like, well, I was being a. Okay, Glass houses. Like, you go after My friends, I'm gonna come for you.
Ben Mandelker
You know, do they make shiplap? I have glass. Just want to know, because we live in the Valley now. So then Danny goes up to Zach, to Nia, and Zach, he's like, okay, well, Christian's going off now. I can't even believe it. And Zach's. Yeah, I thought this conversation was going to go the right way. I can't believe that when I dragged Kristen into a conversation that didn't involve her, that somehow it turned into a huge drama. This is crazy.
Ronnie Karam
But you know what? The thing is, at Abilene, she said it to me. Janet's a dirty liar. Because clearly, Janet and her minions, AKA Jared, are going after Danny for more than just what happened at Halloween. So now we get more added to this story.
Ben Mandelker
By the way, Zach keeps throwing Jared under the bus, but they don't even. They still won't put Jared onto the show. Really? Like, Zach, like, this is like the second time where he's like, can you believe what Jared said about me? That's your cute producers. No. No, you don't. No.
Ronnie Karam
And I'm so glad they won't, because Janet is so clearly trying to replace Zack with Jared on the show and have him be the gay. And the producers are like, no, okay. Tell Jared his mer to get in line. He's not going to. You're not getting a minion. Jan. Janet. Sorry, buddy.
Ben Mandelker
So Janet. A Janion. That's what her minions are called. Janions. So Janet is. Is holding court in a flashback, and she's like, well, I don't know what he did, and I know what he did, and it wasn't right. And not only to you guys, by the way, but there's a second time, okay? It's like a group of fans, a group of bachelorette party girls. And Danny had, like, one too many, and he was being inappropriate, and he was making a group of women feel uncomfortable. And after Jason had to, like, pull him away, I was like, dude, you have a wife. You have kids. Like, don't do this. And he said, neil will always be up here, but I have a weakness for hot girls and little skirts. And so. Oh, my God.
Ronnie Karam
I did not hear that.
Ben Mandelker
That's crazy.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, my gosh.
Ben Mandelker
So. So now this is like the other in front. Danny's other infraction that Janet is told in a flash.
Ronnie Karam
This is so crazy. And he's like, yeah. So Danny's like, well, I'm gonna ask the question. I'm gonna ask it. And he's like, okay, you can ask, but don't let them steal your piece, Daniel. So he's like, so Zach said that Janet said numerous times when taking pictures with fans that you said that I like girls. And Jason's like, like, you know, the march thing? That's what you're talking about? Like, apparently the march thing, right? And he goes, short skirts, Something like that. Jason's like, I literally did not say that. Okay, but, like, eyewitnesses who were there have said that to Janet.
Ben Mandelker
Okay?
Ronnie Karam
Jared and Brittany said it. Jared and Brittany said it. I didn't hear the skirts part, but they said the other stuff.
Ben Mandelker
So basically, when Janet said that, Jason pulled him aside and that Danny said to Jason, I love girls. I have a weakness for girls in short skirts. Then Jason saying, I never heard him say that, but other people have said that he said that. So.
Ronnie Karam
So it's a lie. It's another lie. It's like, Jared thing again.
Ben Mandelker
It's like, I can't believe people are lying so much. And, like, that was such a lovely day, hanging out with all those young hotties in their short skirts. And now it's all ruined because it's all tied up in this rumors. Damn it.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, my God. Janet's like, well, that had nothing to do with you guys. And I hate that it's being brought into this again. But when Kristen says all of the sudden. Well, it's the same thing. Same thing about the Danny and Nia thing. Should I just not say anything? I just use the definition of what happened? I'm sorry. That's what sexual assault is. So Nia's. Nia's pissed, you know? And then Jason's like, well, Danny, I'm sorry. It's hard, okay? You don't want to be talked about. You don't want it to be brought up. But you literally did these things.
Ben Mandelker
And how many times have I owned up for it? You know, you can rub as Daddy can rub as many thighs as you want as long as she owns up to her. I thought that's the reason rules, right?
Ronnie Karam
And he's like, but to blame other people isn't fair. Yeah, it is, because we just caught Janet lying about it. So what is it? And she's like, oh, I'm so sorry. I used words. I'm so sorry. Who's next to be called a Webster Webster?
Ben Mandelker
We both love Webster and his hidden staircases. Guys, so you didn't. Okay, you did these things, man. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that Kristen brought. Brought you guys up tonight and I'm sorry that I had to. To say what happened, it looks like. But he's saying that she. He didn't. And Chance, like, I'm sorry that you guys are getting mad at me for saying it. So they're going back and forth about like, oh, my God, you said this, whatever. And he was like, we're gonna take a break. We need to find our peace. Daniel, come with me. We're gonna take a break right now, Daniel.
Ronnie Karam
So then Janet's like, oh, my God, was I the one to bring up Danny and Nia tonight? It wasn't me. And looks like, yes, you've been talking about people that. About people and things that happen when you weren't even there. And Kristen's like, yeah, you don't get to speak for Melissa and Jasmine or girls at a club.
Ben Mandelker
And you don't get to speak for them. Although I will speak for Daniel, Nia, which is what I'm basing this entire fight off of.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And Jason's like, what? What are we in a world where if somebody makes a mistake, it can't be talked about? Yeah. We're currently talking about Janet's, sir. And so Kristen's like, you do not.
Ben Mandelker
Get to speak for them.
Ronnie Karam
And Melissa's like, yeah, you guys, can you stop talking about me and Jasmine? Because if you guys don't stop, I'm gonna pop off. I was like, please do. That's all I want from you.
Ben Mandelker
Watch out for Melissa. She's gonna pop off everyone. And so then I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. You just said it. Okay. That's why I walked away. You said it. And Janet's like, but you brought Danny into it. No, you said Danny, but you brought them into it. You said, sexually assaulted, but you brought them into it. Get your weird hands off of me. This is all stupid. Okay? Jasmine, Melissa. That is what you fucking said. That is what you fucking said. Janet and Melissa, they are, like, actually not even making sense anymore. They're just screaming at each other.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And so they're screaming, and Kristen's like, jasmine, Alyssa. That's what you said. And Janice, like, get out of my face. Get your weird hands out of my face. Just on your words, bitch. Own your words. Signed, weird handed. Kristen. Cock call, Jason.
Ben Mandelker
Why are you protecting the wrong people? Why are you protecting the wrong people? It's like, nobody's protecting anybody. We just want the truth. So Kristen goes, get off my boat. It's my engagement weekend. How about that? I love that. Like, she. She didn't even Know it was her engagement weekend, but now she's like, oh, I've taken ownership of this weekend. Now I'm going to use it as. As my trump card.
Ronnie Karam
Don't you psychos. So then Kristen joins Danny and Nia in the inside and he's like, I was just telling Daniel we can't control anybody but ourselves. And then it's like we can't change anybody. We can't even ask him to wear pants in public or refrain from wearing pants in public and that we prefer skirts. It's looked down upon. So I've learned that lesson. And Brittany's like, I just like that that went so bad with Christine. Even though yet again I'm the person that started this rumor that you're currently fighting about.
Ben Mandelker
Wait. Oh, yeah. Cuz she's Britney is the one.
Ronnie Karam
Jason said he heard it from Britney and Jared.
Ben Mandelker
Britney that the family that he said he loves. Oh my goodness. It's so hard to track everything. Yeah. So J's like the best thing that I can do right now with Kristen. Just stay away. And I genuinely wish her the best from her. And we're going to go. I'm like, okay, well, you're in the middle of the ocean, but it's over you.
Ronnie Karam
Thanks. It's like the last event of the trip. She's like, we're gonna leave now. Yeah, you're all leaving.
Ben Mandelker
So they dock and Kristen's like, I've never been so mad. Don't make me knock your ass out, Janet. Like, seriously, Seriously, seriously. Kristen gonna knock you out. Mama gonna knock you out. Seriously.
Ronnie Karam
Kristen's like, knock me out, Kristen. Knock me out. I have just been assaulted by Kristen. She goes, I'm gonna knock her out. And she goes, you're a fucking fan. And she goes, congratulations on forever.
Ben Mandelker
You're a fan. I do. One of my favorite tropes is when reality stars try to create that sort of separation, like you're a fan. As if all of them are not, like, aspiring to somehow like crawl higher up on a hierarchy as well. But I get it at the same time.
Ronnie Karam
So John's like, well, there's a reason it's crazy Kristen and not crazy crazy Janet. Oh, no, you're too boring for that. They just call you fan.
Ben Mandelker
It.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, you're fan. So you're Janet the fan. I would prefer crazy Kristen personally fan at Hollywood.
Ben Mandelker
Well, that's where it ends. So really fun.
Ronnie Karam
Basic corn tortillas with cheese.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, that sounds delicious. Oh, that reminds me of tortillas today. Great episode. So fun. Such a good season and still going on like this is a long season and. And I'm happy because I feel like there's still so much we have to sink our teeth into. So anyway, thanks for being here and we will catch everyone on the next one next week doing the Valley with Dylan from Betches because Ronnie is going to be. He's going to be off next week, so looking forward to that. And Ronnie can't wait to talk to the Valley with you in two more weeks.
Ronnie Karam
Yes. Going to be great times. Talk to you guys later.
Ben Mandelker
Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King it's always a party on Alice in block.
Ronnie Karam
Our way is the Amber way.
Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just to Sheila she's a Daniella Etchells we never miss her call it's Diane call Aaron mcnicholas she don't miss no Trickolas Hava Nagila Weber you'll.
Ben Mandelker
Never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go we all go for Hugo Jamie she has no less.
Ronnie Karam
Namey she's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer sip some scotch with.
Ben Mandelker
Jessica Trot she's our favorite streamer Caroline.
Ronnie Karam
Peacock, Kristen the piston and her get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera whatever will be Will Lauren Sills be bringing the funk? It's Leslie Plunkett she gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox, Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the berg.
Ben Mandelker
This is living with Michelle Viv Vivian.
Ronnie Karam
I love Aya Olivia Williamson tastier than Flanderson. It's Rachel Manderson she sure is swell. It's Raquel, yes we can.
Ben Mandelker
It's Savannah cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
Ronnie Karam
Darn Skippy, it's Tippy the bay area and our super premium sponsors she's vvip It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
Ben Mandelker
Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.
Ronnie Karam
We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
Ben Mandelker
Let's get real with Caitlyn o' Neill.
Ronnie Karam
Don'T get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs it's our queen It's Queen Laifa.
Ben Mandelker
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manock's door My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it.
Ronnie Karam
It's Lola Al Kalani the incredible edible Matthew sisters She eases our way woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud she's the.
Ben Mandelker
Queen bee It's Sarah Lemke we cannot.
Ronnie Karam
Tell a lie It's Sarah Tellifson Shannon.
Ben Mandelker
Out of a cannon Anthony, please don't stop at solely and pop let's take off with Tamla playing It's always a.
Ronnie Karam
Good time when you're wasting time with Bravo she ain't no shrinking violet Cooter, we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondry. Com. Survey.
Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens – Episode #2914: The Valley S2E13 Part Two: Fan-ning Flames on the Love Boat
Release Date: July 9, 2025
In Episode #2914 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam delve into the dramatic developments of The Valley Season 2, Episode 13, titled "Fan-ning Flames on the Love Boat." This two-part recap provides listeners with an in-depth analysis of the intertwined relationships, escalating conflicts, and explosive confrontations that define this pivotal episode.
The episode begins with Ben and Ronnie discussing insights from Sheena Shay's recently released autobiography, highlighting her initial interactions with Janet.
Ben Mandelker [03:27]: "Sheena does talk about how she met Janet very briefly... we started hanging out together all the time."
Ronnie Karam [04:11]: "She brought Janet into the group and she infiltrated the group."
This sets the stage for understanding the underlying tensions and alliances within the cast.
As the group prepares for their last night of fun on a boat, underlying tensions surface, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.
The boat scene serves as a catalyst for revealing hidden resentments and sparking heated debates among the members.
A significant portion of the episode focuses on Jesse's provocative behavior and the ensuing rumors about his actions.
This incident leads to a cascade of rumors, particularly surrounding accusations of sexual misconduct.
The climax of the episode revolves around sharp confrontations between Kristen, Janet, and other group members, fueled by rumors and personal grievances.
Ronnie Karam [16:23]: "Janet is taking things too far by using serious accusations to villainize others."
Ben Mandelker [32:23]: "Janet's exaggerated claims about Danny constitute defamation in the court of reality TV."
These exchanges highlight the deteriorating relationships and the group's struggle to navigate trust and loyalty.
Sheena's influence and Jenna's involvement add layers to the existing drama, with Sheena possibly orchestrating some of the conflicts.
Ronnie Karam [24:04]: "Sheena is definitely behind the major conflicts, manipulating situations to her advantage."
Ben Mandelker [37:38]: "Sheena and Jenna seem to be pivotal in fueling the ongoing drama."
Their actions raise questions about motives and the authenticity of their friendships within the group.
Ben and Ronnie analyze how power dynamics and strategic alliances shape the group's interactions, emphasizing the complexity of maintaining harmony.
Ben Mandelker [20:49]: "This show's season is strong because the scandals bleed into each other, creating a tangled web of conflicts."
Ronnie Karam [26:06]: "Using long-standing relationships as leverage in conflicts only deepens the rifts within the group."
Their commentary sheds light on the intricate dance of power, favoritism, and betrayal that drives the show's narrative.
Wrapping up the episode, Ben and Ronnie express their excitement for the ongoing drama and tease future developments.
Ben Mandelker [46:29]: "Such a good season and still going on like this. There's so much more to sink our teeth into."
Ronnie Karam [47:06]: "Looking forward to talking about The Valley with Dylan from Betches next week."
Their enthusiasm underscores the compelling nature of the show's current trajectory, promising more twists and turns in upcoming episodes.
Ronnie Karam [14:03]: "She didn't even give me a chance to prove anything."
Ben Mandelker [33:01]: "It's not up to Janet. It's not up to Jasmine to forgive him if she doesn't want to."
Ronnie Karam [35:37]: "She takes something and twists it into a big, huge thing to villainize other people."
Ben Mandelker [43:18]: "Janet has reached a new low. How dare she say those words about Danny."
Complex Relationships: The episode underscores the fragile nature of friendships and alliances within the group, where past interactions significantly influence present conflicts.
Impact of Rumors: Gossip and unverified accusations play a critical role in escalating tensions, demonstrating the destructive power of misinformation.
Character Growth: Characters like Danny and Sheena exhibit significant developments, revealing vulnerabilities and manipulative tendencies that drive the narrative forward.
Future Drama: The unresolved conflicts and emerging rivalries set the stage for intense confrontations in future episodes, keeping viewers engaged and anticipating more drama.
Watch What Crappens continues to provide listeners with comprehensive and entertaining recaps of their favorite Bravo shows, blending humor with insightful analysis. This episode not only captures the essence of The Valley's latest developments but also enriches the listener's understanding of the intricate dynamics at play.