← Watch What Crappens
Loading summary
Transcript248 lines
- [00:01]
Ronnie Karam
What's the difference between a house and a home? A home is a cozy place, a place that feels unique to the people living in it. And photos on the wall is a perfect way to make your space fully yours.
- [00:12]
Ben Mandelker
Smallwood Home can help you with that. Smallwoodhome.com turns your favorite photos into gallery quality framed prints or wrapped canvases. All handcrafted in the usa, shipped in days and priced to make your whole home smile.
- [00:25]
Ronnie Karam
I just ordered fantastic pictures of my nieces and my family when they were here in Los Angeles, and I'm gonna have that memory. And they look amazing. With fast shipping, affordable pricing, and the highest quality prints available, it makes sense that Smallwood home has over 3 million happy customers. And now it's your turn.
- [00:44]
Ben Mandelker
Right now, get 30% off when you use the code crappinsmallwoodhome.com that's promo code crappins to get 30% off your first order at smallwoodhome.com give your memories the showcase they deserve. So I went to the dentist last week, Ronnie. While I was there, I noticed that everyone in the office was wearing super clean and crisp scrubs like, like, I mean, really clean. Like, sort of like when a crew meets a new guest on Below Deck down under, you know, and like Captain Jason's there looking all prim and proper, et cetera. It's like that. Imagine if Captain Jason got into medicine. That's what those scrubs look like.
- [01:17]
Ronnie Karam
Well, I already know what they were because all the trendy scrub wearers wear them. They're figs. They are the scrub wear. If you work in healthcare, forget what you know about scrubs. Figs aren't boxy, itchy, or loose. Instead, they're comfortable, durable, and they have lots of smart design touches like pockets for scissors, your valuables, and more so you can keep your hands free to, you know, do medicine.
- [01:39]
Ben Mandelker
Once I saw figs at the dentist, I started seeing them everywhere. Like, I live right by a medical center and almost every person near there walking on the street going to, like, get coffee, they're all wearing figs. Every single one of them. It's crazy. And they also have like a ton of colors, like more pinks than Lisa Vanderpump would know what to do with. So head to wear figs.com and enter figsrx at checkout for 15% off your first purchase. That's wherefigs.com and figs rx at checkout for 15%.
- [02:06]
Dylan Haver
Travis fell in love with the perfect woman. Beautiful, understanding, available 24 7. There was just one catch she wasn't human. Binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now on Wonder.
- [02:27]
Ben Mandelker
Watch what happens. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happen. Hello and welcome to Watch what Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Ronnie is out, and today in his place, we have the esteemed and glorious and wonderful Dylan Haver from Batches. Great to see you, Dylan. Thank you so much for joining me today. How are you?
- [03:07]
Kristen Doute
I am great. I'm excited to talk about the Valley. You know, it's, it's, It's a great day. I always, I always love talking about what those crazy kids are up to.
- [03:16]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, well, it's a great day to be talking about the Valley. It is probably the hottest show on TV right now. And. Oh, oh, oh. I don't know if you heard that is. It sounds like we have some breaking news. This just in about three minutes ago. According to me, Jax Taylor is stepping away from the Valley. Can you even believe it, Dylan? This news just broke right before we started recording. How are you processing?
- [03:44]
Kristen Doute
You know, I, I wish him well. I, you know, I love that really, he got to make this decision for himself that he needs to step away to focus on his recovery. And I'm, I hope that he feels good about this decision and I, I won't miss him. So.
- [04:05]
Ben Mandelker
Yes, and it was definitely his decision. He, I mean, 100% he chose. He was like, you know what? I'm going to leave this show voluntarily. This is definitely a JAX TAYLOR Decision, 100%.
- [04:17]
Kristen Doute
If, you know, if there's anything Jax is going to do, it's claim that it's his show and then be promptly removed from the cast the following season. So he's two for two in that sense.
- [04:28]
Ben Mandelker
Yes, he is. Well, you know, maybe that social media job in Tampa finally worked its way out. You know, like, maybe. Maybe they got through the red tape. Like, look, the hockey team is ready for you, Jax, I know you're on the Valley, but it's time. It's time to come to Tampa.
- [04:44]
Kristen Doute
Oh, man, I'm coming home. I'm coming. I can't wait. I'm coming home to hockey, man.
- [04:50]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So he's clearly fired. Like, obviously clearly fired. And, you know, I feel like that's a good call.
- [04:58]
Kristen Doute
It's interesting timing of the announcement that it's the, the season finale is next week, and then there's a reunion, which I believe he was at the reunion. So it's. It's like. I'm not quite sure why they're announcing it today, but I'll take it whenever it comes.
- [05:16]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. That is the pr. It is a little surprising. Normally, they announced the firings, like, right after the reunion is done. Right. It's like. Like right after or maybe during the reunion, but, like, not this. It's still. It's just a shade early. Maybe. Maybe Bravo has to announce, like, a lineup. Maybe there's like, a Bravo Con lineup or something. Or something that has to be announced that they have to, like, get this out of the way first.
- [05:37]
Kristen Doute
They should start doing, you know, like, on America's Next Top Model, when they would have the composite photo of all the girlies, and then the one would sort of, like, dissolve away at the end of the episode. They should start doing that Bravo firings, like, at the end of the reunion. It's just like Jack's kind of, like, you know, gets, like, snapped away from the. The cast photo.
- [05:57]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I think that would be. I. I would love to see that. What do you think about this firing? Do you think this was the right move? I mean, I'm a very big proponent of Villains on Bravo, and I don't think that we should fire our villains just because they're villains. However, I think Jax did cross a line. I think, like, the stories of what he was doing with Britney were. It was just. It was a bit too much. What do you think?
- [06:20]
Kristen Doute
I think the thing with Villains is that, like, there has to be some give and take with somebody's dynamic in a cast. And I think on a show like the Valley, you have two people like Kristen and Janet who are able to sort of play off of each other in a way. And, you know, Janet especially, I think, is very polarizing with the audience, but there is sort of. She's not. She's able to kind of, like, you know, get it back sometimes and kind of play different levels. And I think with Jax, just this whole season has just felt so depressing, and watching him go to rehab and be, you know, more or less away for half the season and then come back and if anything, show the opposite of growth, the opposite of progress. It feels like he's more reactive and more angry, and he's. Nothing that Britney is saying to him is. Is clicking. You know, we'll get to this week's episode, but it just feels like with him, at least for right now, I don't, you know, never say never. There's just no. There's nowhere to go with his storyline, really.
- [07:29]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, there's like, nowhere even to go with him as a reality star. I mean, I think, like, the. I think everyone was really horrified by the story of how he, like, flipped a table and was throwing things and broke, like, bar stools and, like, yes, he did not. Like, he didn't throw. He didn't, like, throw them at Britney. Like, technically they didn't hit her, but it's still such a violent expression that. And scary. And it feels like it's just a shade away from something, like, just. No, I don't think any of us wanted to really stand for that and wanted to, like, have that. Like, you know, I don't think anyone wanted to see a redemption arc for this guy because the thing is that this show is his redemption arc. Like, it, like, he already was fired and, like, this was supposed to be his redemption arc, and he still didn't get his together. There's sort of an element of, like, this show is pretty stacked on the villain front. You know, you've got. You've got Janet, you've got Jesse. There's. There's plenty of other people who could probably step into the role. So Jax isn't even really needed as a villain anymore here.
- [08:31]
Kristen Doute
Yeah, we're. We're so fortunate to have so much going on in this cast that this feels like a villain privilege. It feels like an easy and obvious decision. And I think there are on a lot of shows, if you had somebody with this kind of position, you would think, like, oh, man, I wish we could do this without them. But then what? What would the show be? And I feel like with the Valley, there's. There's lots of room for. For season three. And I'm excited to see Britney in her Single Girl era without Jacks, you know, lurking in the back of the frame all the time. So, yeah, I think season this makes me more excited for season three, not less.
- [09:12]
Ben Mandelker
I'll tell you what I'm not excited about. I'm not excited about what's going to be clearly happening for Jax post the Valley, which is a plunge into the manosphere. I think we're going to see him, like, going, like, hard, right? I think we're going to be, like, we're going to see him complaining about people being woke. I think we're going to see him doing the Rob Schneider route, and it's going to be so annoying. It's just going to be him complaining about. You can't even say anything anymore. You know, you try to grow like, people don't want to listen to you anymore. You know, like the, the white male is the most discriminated person in America. Like, you know, he's gonna do all those things and it's gonna be so tiresome and no one's gonna want to hear it. And he's gonna, he's gonna find an audience and he'll wind up on some show. It'll. It's really gonna be a terrible trajectory. That is my complete prediction for him.
- [09:58]
Kristen Doute
I, I agree with that prediction that the silver lining for me is that I've been blocked by Jax for years, so I won't be able to see any of it.
- [10:07]
Ben Mandelker
That's true. Yeah, we were blocked as well. So, yeah, it's very fortunate on that front. But yeah, terrible trajectory for him. He's, I mean, he's really, really also, like, what if you just look at his entire trajectory since when he arrived on Bravo to now, I mean, this is really the descent of someone and, and real. And by the way, this is also a real, real good case study for why you should get into therapy before it's too late. Because, like, Jax is, he's like a lost cause if you ask me.
- [10:38]
Kristen Doute
It's crazy how pretty much everyone else who was a long running cast member on Vanderpump Rules is like, kind of has something going on. Even Tom Sandoval has been able to sort of steer the ship a little bit in the last couple of years. You know, he's going to be on House of Villains. He was on Traitors. He's still doing the music thing.
- [10:58]
Ben Mandelker
I think he found his niche as a villain now. He's leaned into it and he's fine, found his niche.
- [11:03]
Kristen Doute
He's showed like just enough, you know, consternation or whatever, and pretty much everyone else that was on that show, maybe with the exception of James Kennedy right now, but like, Jax is kind of the one person who has never been able to like, lock in and figure it out. And I think, yeah, the time has kind of run out.
- [11:24]
Ben Mandelker
He was on House of Villains, but I didn't feel like, was he good on that? I actually never watched House of Villains. Did you ever? Did you see it at all or. No. It's hard to go.
- [11:33]
Kristen Doute
I find I've never sat down and watched it. The, that, that was an E show in like 2023. Seemed like an indicator of kind of the, the quality level. I am curious. It's. It's moving to Peacock next season. So I'm, I'm wondering if they're going to kind of try and make that a little bit More of a thing. But I don't think Jack's really made much of a splash when he was on that show.
- [11:53]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I mean, even if he did, it's still, like, it wasn't the way Tom Sandoval made a splash on Traders, where, like, people left Traders saying, like, oh, my God, I really like Tom. Like, that was his. That was his. Like, he finally, like, broke out of scandal jail with that. Like, people were like, okay, we are. We're willing to take you back into our lives in this new role as, like, dumb idiot villain. But, like, Jax, you know, he was trying to parlay all this into, like, an HGTV show for a while. He and Brittany were pedaling a home makeover show. He was trying to do everything. And it's. You're right. Everyone's kind of doing something to some degree. Well, I don't know about Katie. Katie is doing something somewhere, but she has. No, wait, she has. I'm sorry. No, she does have a sandwich shop. You cannot discount that. That sandwich shop does very well. People are always in line for it.
- [12:39]
Kristen Doute
A sandwich shop, a podcast, and a dream. I don't know how Popcorn Pout is doing these days, but the sandwich shop is alive and well.
- [12:49]
Ben Mandelker
Maybe she can do. Maybe she can also resurrect Pandora's old thing, the divine addiction.
- [12:54]
Kristen Doute
But you look, James May is having a moment.
- [12:57]
Ben Mandelker
So look, I mean, Katie does have a podcast. I mean, Jack. So J. Jax does have Jax's. But I feel like Jax's bar is just like a licensed whatever. But yeah, Jax really isn't doing anything. He really. You know, actually, if you look at. If you look at his peers who were similarly expunged post 2020. Stassi and Kristen. Kristen is fully, you know, back in the fold. Audiences love her. She's grown and she's. She's put in the work. Stassi has also seems to. Has. Seems to have put in the work as well. And she's, like, super popular. She's back. Like, everyone is grown. He has stayed stuck. And he tried to pretend like he wasn't, but we were seeing, like, no, he is done.
- [13:43]
Kristen Doute
And what about Danika? Where's Danica?
- [13:46]
Ben Mandelker
Well, that's a great question. I asked that all the time. Where is Danica? Who is she hitting right now? Justice for her.
- [13:56]
Kristen Doute
What a time that was. What a time.
- [13:59]
Ben Mandelker
No, what a time. Okay, well, what a time this is because we have to start talking about this show, the Valley. We're penultimate episode of the season before the reunions. Such a good Season, It's. This is like. I feel like everyone's talking about the Valley, right? I mean, what's it like on your end at Betches? I mean, I feel like you have more of an ear to the. To, like, the vibe of what's going on in New York media circles, etc. I'm just gonna say that because you're wearing a Matisse T shirt, you're like, so. So. But, like, the scuttlebutt, like, industry scuttlebutt. I feel like everyone's talking about it. I feel like this is the biggest buzzworthy show on Bravo right now.
- [14:36]
Kristen Doute
Well, last year when it premiered, it was such. It was such a surprise the way that this show just worked from, like, really right from the jump. Because when it was first announced, people were, like, deeply unenthused about the prospect of a show about parents with little kids and Jax and Brittany and Kristi, crazy Kristen and. Oh, we're gonna see what they're. They're riding around on a little, you know, little tykes tricycle in the Valley. What is that? Yeah, and so I think, like, this show, it had a. It had a tough sort of job to do, and it just worked so well. And this cast has so many layered dynamics to it, and I think almost similar to the way that Vanderpump Rules was able to do in the early seasons. It really felt watching the first season of the Valley like, this was a cast with history and these people actually know each other and there's lore to be discovered between all of them, and there's going to be side characters and stories to, you know, dig up and, you know, rumors and gossip and all of that. And I think season two has done a good job of sort of building on that momentum and, you know, bringing in some different. Some different side characters. I think Sheena being around on this show has worked better than I expected. I think Tom Schwartz also kind of makes sense in this world. Lala. I'm a little. I'm a little hesitant still, but we'll. We'll see. But I think overall it's just been. It's been a really exciting show, and it feels like they have potentially, like, the gas in the tank that this could go on for several seasons and stay pretty interesting.
- [16:20]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, they have a deep roster of people that are interesting that you want to watch. And you're right. They do have a lore. And you also get the feeling like a lot of these people are going to probably stick with the show for a while, because I kind of think it's like, what they. It's really all they have. And so I think. I think we. We are set up for something good here. And it's just. It's so cool to see how the show has been really, like. Like, aside from Love island, which of course was like, you know, took over pop culture for six weeks, I. I feel like the Valley has been the thing that people have been really, really talking about. Like, it's so cool to watch a, Like, a Variety roundtable, and Seth Rogen is on there talking about how he love. He loves watching the Valley. I don't know why, like, we don't need validation from Hollywood actors, you know, to. To love what we love, but it's just really cool when. When our shows sort of, you know, permeate the intelligentsia and these, like, very highfalutin FYC panels that. That they put on at this time of year.
- [17:20]
Kristen Doute
Yeah. And I think also they. They did a good job. Something that I've talked about with season one is they did a good job of Kristen and Jackson, Brittany being central characters without it feeling like they were always the protagonists. Like, they were always sort of the heroes of the show. And I was worried. I. I think, like, talking about Jax leaving. It's funny because it was sort of my concern when it premiered that we were going to get, like, Jax's side of every story, and it was going to be the Jax show, and it really. It really didn't end up like that. And I think that that has. That's part of what has worked so well, that it really feels like we're sort of riding the roller coaster with all these people versus just kind of. It doesn't feel like a vanity project for the Vanderpump Rules, you know? Oh, geez. It feels like, oh, you guys are thrown right back in the mix with everybody else, and you're still gonna have to, you know, scrape and claw for a good, you know, a good edit just like everybody else.
- [18:19]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. It'll be interesting to see when Vanderpump Rules comes back how it can live on Bravo anymore, now that I feel like we're kind of now a focusing our attention on the Valley, and we also have Southern hospitality for our young hospitality people. And I, I, I, I'm very open to the new Vanderpump Pump Rules. I think it was the 100 correct decision to reboot it, start fresh, get back into the restaurant. But I think that, like, it's. People are gonna. I think it's gonna have an uphill battle. I think People are gonna. Are not gonna be open to it, and they're gonna just shit on it right away.
- [18:53]
Kristen Doute
Yeah, I. I agree. I'm. I'm optimistic. Like, I try to be with everything on Bravo because, let's face it, I'll watch it whether it's good or not, and I'll. I'll talk about it either way. But, yeah, no some exceptions. The Valley. The Valley being really good and Southern hospitality being really good gives vanderpump rules a really. A tall order. So we'll see.
- [19:17]
Ben Mandelker
Yes. All right, well, let's get into today's episode. We start with some different scenes around the Valley. We have Michelle painting Isabella's nails, and she shows Isabella a photo of. Of Jesse and Aaron kind of palling around together, which is surprising. And she's like, isabella, did you see this picture of Daddy and Aaron? Daddy is silly and he's wearing a hat. Isn't that funny? Isabella?
- [19:45]
Kristen Doute
I. I can't. Like, the. The. The ups and downs between Michelle and Jesse. It's like. But you. You don't think Daddy is silly. You think he's like a war criminal. Like, it's.
- [19:57]
Ben Mandelker
Yes. She's putting on a brave face. You know, the ups and downs. I thought you were gonna say of his hair dent that he always has, but I guess you meant their emotional paths instead.
- [20:07]
Kristen Doute
Something about the phrase Daddy and Aaron. I just don't. I don't enjoy it. It doesn't feel good on the. The mouth.
- [20:13]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And I don't. I don't think that this, like, Jesse Aaron alliance is gonna last much longer. Like, this is. This is very tenuous. It's gonna collapse in shackles very quickly.
- [20:24]
Kristen Doute
Absolutely not.
- [20:26]
Ben Mandelker
We have Zach. Let me go to Zach's apartment. Zach's doing laundry with Bungee. Zach doesn't get much to do this episode, which is sad. Zach has had a really good breakout season where he felt. He and Jasmine have felt much more central to the show than last year. Last year, they definitely felt tacked on, you know.
- [20:42]
Kristen Doute
Yeah. And I think it. It benefits the show not to have every. Everyone in, like, a married couple. And so I think also having the two divorces in the mix has really, like, shaken things up. And it doesn't just feel like it's like everything's a double or triple date, which. Yeah, I appreciate, but I'm so glad that Zach has someone around to do his laundry now.
- [21:04]
Ben Mandelker
Yes. So then we wind up. Speaking of Jasmine, we now go to Sherman Oaks, and she has a listing. I didn't realize that she was Doing real estate. Was that ever. Was this ever announced or just break into a house?
- [21:18]
Kristen Doute
Doesn't Michelle do real estate too?
- [21:20]
Ben Mandelker
Like, yeah, and Jesse. And Jesse, obviously, they were, you know, they were realtors together. But like, I didn't know about Jasmine or if I did know, I had long since forgotten.
- [21:31]
Kristen Doute
Jasmine is. She's in that bending and she will sell this house today. You know, she's. She's gonna make.
- [21:37]
Ben Mandelker
Yes, but she will. But also at the same time, like, Jasmine, you got to think about, like, your people. Okay? We've all seen. We've all seen Danny and Nia's apartment. It is the most cramped space on Bravo. Like, every time we have to go to a scene in Dan and Nia's apartment, I'm like, oh, no. Like, breathe deeply. It's just like, it's. It's like there's like no windows. There's like no light in there. And there's like toys everywhere. There's like just clutter everywhere from all these children. And I'm like, and. And when Jasmine takes them to this place that we find out is actually like 800 square feet smaller than what they already live in. Jasmine, why are you doing this to us?
- [22:15]
Kristen Doute
This is some like, house Hunters international type of thing where it's like, they're like, okay, I want, you know, 10,000 square feet and AC in every room and blah, blah, blah. And they're like, okay, so here's a shanty. And you know, it was a lovely home. It was a lovely home. But this house felt like a production plant to me because there's. There's no way.
- [22:33]
Ronnie Karam
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Grappens commercial.
- [22:41]
Nia
Today is the worst day of Abby's life. The 17 year old cradles her newborn son in her arms.
- [22:48]
Kristen Doute
They all saw how much I loved him.
- [22:50]
Ben Mandelker
They didn't have to take him from me.
- [22:52]
Nia
Between 1945 and the early 1970s, families shipped their pregnant teenage daughters to maternity homes and forced them to secretly place their babies for adoption in hidden corners across America. It's still happening.
- [23:08]
Ben Mandelker
My parents had me locked up in.
- [23:10]
Kristen Doute
The godparent home against my will.
- [23:11]
Ben Mandelker
They worked with them to manipulate me.
- [23:13]
Kristen Doute
And to steal my son away from me.
- [23:15]
Nia
The godparent home is the brainchild of controversial preacher Jerry Falwell, the father of the modern evangelical rite and the founder of Liberty University, where powerful men emboldened by their faith, determine who can gets to be a parent and who must give their child away. Follow Liberty Lost on the wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [23:41]
Jax Taylor
Being an actual royal is never about finding your happy ending. But the worst part is, if they step out of line or fall in love with the wrong person, it changes the course of history. I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams.
- [23:55]
Ben Mandelker
And I'm Brooke Zifrin.
- [23:56]
Jax Taylor
We've been telling the stories of the rich and famous on the hit Wondery show, Even the Rich. And talking about the latest celebrity news on Rich and Daily. We're going all over the world on our new show, Even the royals. We'll be diving headfirst into the lives.
- [24:10]
Ben Mandelker
Of the world's kings, queens, and all.
- [24:11]
Jax Taylor
The wannabes in their orbit throughout history.
- [24:14]
Ben Mandelker
Think succession meets the crown meets real life.
- [24:17]
Jax Taylor
We're going to pull back the gilded curtain and show how royal status might be bright and shiny, but it comes at the expense of, well, everything else, like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head. Follow even the royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to even the royals early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
- [24:42]
Kristen Doute
Very bad at her job for this to be the house she chose for them.
- [24:46]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, Jasmine, you, Jasmine, you know what this family is about. And on top of that, I did spy that there was an AC wall unit. And I'm like, wow, for $1.1 million, you're not getting central air. I'm sorry. That's. This is like, I would not even go any further. As soon as I saw that wall unit, I'd be like, I'm not entering this house. I'm turning around. I'm not wasting my time here.
- [25:03]
Kristen Doute
The single sink in the. In the. In the master bathroom is tough. She's Miss usa. Come on. I know.
- [25:10]
Ben Mandelker
She's missing. Exactly. There was, like, so many. I was actually just, like, offended. I was offended on behalf of Danny and Nia, you know, and, like, Nia was trying to be optimistic. She's like, well, if it's laid out nicely, it could be really functional. I'm like, no, I see that small. Like, if something looks small on tv, it's going to be way smaller, you know, in person. There's no way that entire brood is going to work in there.
- [25:32]
Kristen Doute
Daniel, look, it's a Jack and Jill bathroom.
- [25:37]
Ben Mandelker
I hate a Jack and Jill bathroom, by the way. I hate. I. I feel like I'm gonna get ambushed.
- [25:42]
Kristen Doute
I. I never have had a Jack and Jill bathroom in, like, a home. But in. In college, I lived in a dorm that was, like, two single rooms with a bathroom in the middle. And so you had to lock and unlock the other door every time. And it was like, it stressed me out to no end because I'd be like, did I forget to lock it? What if he forgets to unlock it? What if I can't go to the bath? Do I have to pound on the door? Do I wait? Do I try to listen? Like, it's so stressful and like, I don't want to be so then your child has to do that. Like they're going to walk in on their sibling. It just feels like. No, no, no, no.
- [26:15]
Ben Mandelker
I don't, I don't like more than one entrance to a bathroom.
- [26:18]
Kristen Doute
And you would have four. You'd have two children on each. You'd have. It would be Jack and Jack and Jill. And Jill.
- [26:23]
Ben Mandelker
It's too many Jackson Jills. Too many. Too many possibilities. I just don't want any of it. And I, I rebuke it, by the way. I just want to say. I want to say I'm gonna hold space for your college experience because that sounded terrible, what you just described.
- [26:37]
Kristen Doute
It's okay.
- [26:39]
Ben Mandelker
I don't want to act like I'm just glossing over that. That was terrible.
- [26:42]
Kristen Doute
It was a, it was a nice building, but with the layout was not ideal.
- [26:48]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, it's. Yeah. It sounds like Jasmine must have, like, sold it to the campus because it's like, didn't make any sense for a college experience.
- [26:54]
Kristen Doute
It's perfect. I. I gotta. Please get me the commission, please.
- [27:00]
Ben Mandelker
Oh, Jasmine, come on. You could do better. Well, we do know that they have actually moved up to Santa Clarita, right? I think that was in the headlines that they did get a place up there.
- [27:09]
Kristen Doute
Yes. The only two places on earth. Sherman Oaks and Santa Clarita.
- [27:14]
Ben Mandelker
I know. I'm like, you surely could have found a nice size home, like, closer than Santa Clarita. Santa Clarita is far. I don't care. Every time he says a 20 minute drive north, I'm like, it is not a 20. It's 20 minutes at midnight. It is not 20 minutes any other time. It's like, it's going to be 45 minutes at least. I'm so mad about the Santa Clarita agenda that he has. Like, you have to, you should stay with your peers.
- [27:39]
Kristen Doute
This cast between Jesse spending a lot of time in Newport and, you know, them moving to Santa Clarita, they're going to spend a lot of time in the car next season.
- [27:48]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, well, it's like the Beverly Hills cast. I mean, for a while There when you had like Yolanda and Malibu and Erica and Pasadena, I mean, those distances are massive. Like, people really don't realize how far apart those people just think these are just all like, areas. It's. I can't give an equivalency, but like, that's like a 90 minute drive to go from one end to the other.
- [28:11]
Kristen Doute
Like, and you're going. And you're going to meet for happy hour with your enemy and you're probably going to storm off before you even finish the first drink.
- [28:19]
Ben Mandelker
Precisely. So anyway, they look at this place and it's like, not, it's. This is terrible. This is not the right choice. And you know, Danny, of course, says like five different times, four under four, four under four. So they finally do what they're there to really do, which is to sit down and talk shit. Right? So they, they go to sit down and they're. They're talking about like, you know, then Nia won't even say Janet's name anymore. She calls her Voldemort of the Valley, which I thought was actually pretty good.
- [28:53]
Kristen Doute
That was, that was a pretty good read. I, I feel like Nia has. Nia has gotten more comfortable this season being a little messy, you know, making a shady comment or two. She's just like the former, you know, Disneyland princess anymore. And like, I like when she kind of gets in the mud a little bit like that.
- [29:13]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. I, famously, on the first episode of the show, I thought Nia was gonna be a monster. Like the way that she was like a beauty queen. But then she would call Danny Daniel at all times. I was like, oh, just wait. We're gonna pull, we're gonna pull those layers off and she's gonna be the biggest monster. And she is literally been like a delight ever. Like, I, I eat my words every day. But it is nice to see her getting a little bit of an edge.
- [29:37]
Kristen Doute
Have you noticed by the way that when Kristen is talking to Nia, she also says Daniel. Like, you can tell she's like, yeah, so that. So. So with Daniel, you feel like it's.
- [29:48]
Ben Mandelker
That I just want to honor her wishes. That's how she prefers to address him. So I shall address him that way as well. Yeah, there's like, like, I'm like, kristen, don't do that. Because that's clearly one of those, like, couple things where it's like a, it's some sort of signifier of like, prox. Of like, like an elevated relationship. Right. Like, like we, like, he is my husband, so he is not just Dan, he's Daniel. This is going to signify that I have a different relationship with him than the rest of you do.
- [30:17]
Kristen Doute
Right. You guys are, you know, his friends who yell at him for drinking in the closet. And I am his person. And so to me, it's. It's a more sacred bond. And so I use the. The. The Christian name Daniel.
- [30:34]
Ben Mandelker
It requires a formal declaration of his name.
- [30:38]
Kristen Doute
Look, if it's working for them, it.
- [30:41]
Ben Mandelker
Does seem to be. It seems to be. By the way, what do you think about the whole Danny thing? You know, as. Since you're here as a guest, let's check in. I know that we haven't. This is a little bit old news on the show, but I would love to hear your thoughts on Danny. Do you think Danny has a problem?
- [30:58]
Kristen Doute
I've had complicated feelings about it all season because it seems like he has some stuff to work on. It seems like he has some. Some adjustments to make, some things to look into. And I don't. I don't have an issue with other people in the cast bringing that up, because what are we here to do if not, you know, throw. Throw mud at each other? By the time we were in Hawaii, it felt a little bit like beating a dead horse and a little bit like, okay, we're not actually having a productive conversation about this, so maybe, maybe with respect to the Jasmine situation, let's. Let's table this and maybe speak about it in a more serious manner. And it feels like Janet has been kind of trying to. To use that to, you know, score points for herself a little bit, which I don't love. But at the end of the day, I mean, yeah, it definitely seems like there's a little bit of a concerning, you know, pattern of behavior with him.
- [31:57]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I don't. I don't know, nor could I diagnose whether or not he's a. An alcoholic, but it sounds like he's a bad drunk at the very least. And, like, you can be a bad drunk without being an alcoholic, and I think he needs to, like, be a better drunk. He was, like, too old to be that sloppy.
- [32:14]
Kristen Doute
It's like. It's like a Dorinda medley in a very different font where it's like.
- [32:20]
Ben Mandelker
Different fonts.
- [32:21]
Kristen Doute
Because every, you know, it felt like every season of Roni for a while, it was like, dorinda's an alcoholic. And it's like, is she. I don't know, does it seem like she maybe should drink less sometimes? Yeah.
- [32:34]
Ben Mandelker
We're like, yeah, like, not everything has to be like, Alcoholism. Unless, like, someone decides, okay, you know, like, this is. This is not right for me. But like, some people, like, you know, with Danny, you know, I've had some friends who, like, when they get drunk, they just are, like, the worst. And, you know, just. And I kind of stopped being friends with them because they're just, like, annoying, and I don't think they're alcoholics. It's just like they. That's like they let out all their. Like, all their. And you're just like, I don't want to deal with this. And I kind of feel like Danny is that way. Like, once you see. See him start drinking, you're like, oh, gosh, I don't want to have to co sign to this misery right now.
- [33:07]
Kristen Doute
Right? You're like, okay, this. This dinner is going to be less fun in 20 minutes because. Because Danny just took three shots.
- [33:14]
Ben Mandelker
Yes, exactly. It's like having to pretend like you're amused when he is, like, taking three shots to catch up. And you're like, but we're not in college anymore. You don't have to do that. Just drink at your own pace. It's okay.
- [33:25]
Kristen Doute
Really. Nobody here is. Is sloshed right now. Everybody has, like, been enjoying a drink.
- [33:32]
Ben Mandelker
Yes, exactly. Anyway, so now we go over to Sheena's house because I think we're gonna be cross. If I remember correctly, we're gonna be cutting back and forth, and we see Janet. Speaking of Janet. She's pushing a stroller up to Sheena's house. And there was something about the way that Janet was pushing that stroller. I was like, there's no baby in there. That's like a stuffed animal. It was like the stroller was, like, bouncing all over the place in a certain way. I was like, has she ever used this stroller before? I don't know what's happening.
- [33:56]
Kristen Doute
It's like when you watch, maybe it's like when you watch, you know, in a theater or something, and it's like every prop is, like, too light. Like, the backpack doesn't have anything in it. The pitcher has no water.
- [34:07]
Ben Mandelker
You can tell there's a toy stroller. So she has. She's met up with Michelle and Sheena and, like, you know, it's baby time and everything. And so Janet's saying, like, well, the trip ended with Kristen saying that she was gonna beat my ass. So she brought Danny and Nia's names up and said something about how Jason and I were attacking Danny. And yes, you know, I've talked about things that he's done. But, like, you know, I'm not making up false rumors about him. I'm like, you aren't. But, like, you, like, you just made up with him, and then you. You then blurt out that he committed sexual assault.
- [34:45]
Kristen Doute
Just.
- [34:46]
Ben Mandelker
Janet.
- [34:47]
Kristen Doute
Look, Janet, she, like, really, really is deliberately missing the point here. Like, she's. She really is trying to have her cake and eat it too. And it's like. Like, I. On. On a very specific level. I get where you're coming from, but, like, don't pretend that you don't see the issue. Basically, yeah.
- [35:07]
Ben Mandelker
Why does Janet, for some reason, remind me of Amy Klobuchar? Isn't that weird?
- [35:14]
Kristen Doute
When will she throw a stapler at someone's head?
- [35:19]
Ben Mandelker
I feel like I can imagine Janet eating salad with a combination, you know, wow, that is.
- [35:25]
Kristen Doute
That is evocative. And it's not. Not where my mind would have gone, but I respect the journey that just.
- [35:31]
Ben Mandelker
Popped into my head, and I felt like I needed to share that with. I needed to put that out there, and I'm gonna have to see if people co sign. I hope she just can see her that way, and I hope she does.
- [35:41]
Kristen Doute
A Voldemort Halloween costume. Like, own it. Own the comparison. I think that would be. That's what I want to see from her next.
- [35:49]
Ben Mandelker
Yes, I would like that.
- [35:51]
Kristen Doute
So.
- [35:52]
Ben Mandelker
So then. Yeah. So Jen's basically complaining about Kristen coming at her, and Sheena's like, well, that's what Kristen does. She latches on, you know, to, like, the popular girl, and she, like, doesn't care who she has to step on to get there. Which is funny because it's like, Sheena, who, like, has spent her entire career trying to be in with the popular girls.
- [36:07]
Kristen Doute
Sheena. Sheena going back to, like, season one of Vanderpump Rules when she's on dish duty or whatever, while, you know, the plastics of sir are treating her like shit. It's like. Like, it is funny that Sheena is once again in the position on this show of sort of, like, needing to latch on to people to. To get screen time and, you know, maybe it's a little pot and kettle situation there.
- [36:31]
Ben Mandelker
I love that they're all angry at Sheena for bringing Janet into the mix. Like, if it weren't for Sheena, we wouldn't have even had Janet. She was a fan. Sheena met Janet, which I love. I love that this is, like, Sheena's contribution to the Valley.
- [36:42]
Kristen Doute
Yeah, she's. She's her best. She's doing her best also. She's wearing this, like, big, oversized T shirt that says Valley Brat. And I'm just.
- [36:51]
Ben Mandelker
Yes.
- [36:51]
Kristen Doute
So you're wearing. It's not merch for the show, but it feels like it is adjacent to the show, that you are trying to weasel your way into it. Like, Sheena, wear a plain black T shirt. Anything else?
- [37:04]
Ben Mandelker
We know what you're up to, Sheena. Okay.
- [37:06]
Kristen Doute
She's like, yeah, I'm just so. I'm so Valley. Do you remember Sheena in the Marina? She slipped through so many different eras.
- [37:14]
Ben Mandelker
I know she really tried to make Marina del Rey a thing, but it just didn't quite. Didn't quite work out. It was when. When Stassi did that diagram on Vanderpump Rules. Like, that was no joke. I don't know if you're familiar with LA geography, Dylan, but, like, shoot. Sassy laid it out plain and clear and there was no lies detected there. It was. It's like, it was very like going to Marina del Rey is like, you have to suit up, you have to prepare yourself.
- [37:40]
Kristen Doute
Let's just. I mean, the nice thing about the Valley, or, you know, sir, back in the day when they all lived in, we hope basically is like, it does feel like that sort of we're just hanging out in the neighborhood aspect and something. Something shifts a little bit whenever. When you can sense that everyone's been in the car for an hour to get there.
- [37:57]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, that's a very good point. As opposed to just like, coming by with your stroller into Sheena's new house that looks like everyone else's house. So they really. I like, it really looks exactly like Katie and Toms and Tom and Ariana.
- [38:11]
Kristen Doute
Modern.
- [38:12]
Ben Mandelker
Modern farmhouse or farmhouse doorway. You walk through the front door. To the right is some sort of, like, living. Ish living area. To the left is maybe a formal dining room. You walk through staircase on the right. Then, like, den area with your. What's it called? The Love. Love Sack or whatever. The Love sack sofa that they're talking about.
- [38:30]
Kristen Doute
The Cloud couch.
- [38:31]
Ben Mandelker
Kitchen here at Cloud. Yeah, kitchen here with the island. They have the exact same layout. I'm not mad at it though, by the way. It's a nice layout. I actually like it.
- [38:40]
Kristen Doute
Like $1.1 million.
- [38:44]
Ben Mandelker
That's probably why. I mean, like, honestly, I mean, you know, Jasmine, you gotta sell, like, the Valley special. Do the. Do the Shiplap modern farmhouse look not this tiny little, you know, little modified RV without wheels. Speaking of which. So basically. So. So Janet's basically complaining that, like, she doesn't even know where to go. She goes, you know, with Dan, with Nia and Daniel. She does call him Daniel, by the way. This is how you know this is serious because everyone's calling him Daniel now. But she's like, I just don't know where to go. It sucks because all this stuff happened, and if Daniel is still drinking, I don't know if I necessarily want to, like, be super close to him, you know? And so she's saying that she hasn't talked to them at all. So now we go back over to Jasmine's listing, and Nia's like, well, you know, we haven't been feeling good vibes from the one who Shall Not Be Named, but, like, you know, they all bought Jason so nice. And they all start talking about how, like, oh, Jason. Like, he's like, poor Jason, because we all like Jason, but he gets sucked into this. It's too bad he's losing friends. Where do you stand on Jason?
- [39:51]
Kristen Doute
I don't. Do I stand anywhere on Jason? I just don't like. To me, he's such a nothing. He doesn't bring a lot to the table. I mean, he's nice guy. I'm. I'm sure. Or, you know.
- [40:03]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
- [40:04]
Kristen Doute
He seems like he's a little bit.
- [40:06]
Ben Mandelker
Too much of a Jack's apologist, though, to be as nice as he seems. Right.
- [40:10]
Kristen Doute
That's. Yeah, it's tough. He's a little too, like, I don't have strong feelings about him, but I. He does seem a little too into the guy's chat. Like, it's just a little less of that. A little, you know, I don't. I don't love his energy.
- [40:26]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. I feel like he's bros before a hoes at the worst time, and then he's sometimes oddly hoes before bros at the worst time.
- [40:35]
Kristen Doute
Yeah, he doesn't. He's. I don't think I, like, agree with the way he kind of, like, moves through situations, but at the same time, I'm like, there's at least three worst men on this show.
- [40:48]
Ben Mandelker
So that's what I feel like. I feel like he's probably the best of the men. I mean, I know people really don't like him because he is with Janet and he is his worst. His worst thing, I think, is he is a Jack's apologist. And we have a call in show on Mondays. Every other Monday, crappy hour. Everyone should watch it. One of our listeners called in and made a really good point, which is that, like, what Jax did is technically domestic violence or. Or it would appear to be like, even if he didn't like, hurt Britney, the, the act of like, throwing the tables and everything could be considered domestic violence. And Janet is so e. Is so quick to call what Danny did sexual assault and say, well, that's just legally what it's called. And Jason backs her up. It's a but. And yet we don't see that same energy from those two going towards Jax, especially from Jason the lawyer.
- [41:43]
Kristen Doute
Yeah, the legal, the legal clarification from Janet was so stupid to me because, like, first of all, we're not, we're not in a courtroom.
- [41:53]
Ben Mandelker
You don't, you're not a lawyer.
- [41:54]
Kristen Doute
You don't have anything. And also, it's like you're the wife of a lawyer. So it's like, okay, if I'm married to a doctor, I like, have to use the, like, scientific medical term for everything or else I'm like, betraying my, you know, spouse's profession. It's like, who. That's not how the world works.
- [42:15]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, no, it's, it's, it's, it's painful. But that being said, with all that being said, I do think Jason is the best of the guys, which is shocking because some people would say maybe Danny, but I do think that Danny is a really bad drunk. And I think that Jason, he seems actually like a very smart guy and he's trying, I feel like he tries to be like level headed and rational, but I think that he has. Unfortunately in this second season, he's definitely missed the mark several times. And so he's really like going downhill in terms of like, esteem commercials. Here comes one right now.
- [42:54]
Dylan Haver
Imagine falling in love with someone who understands you completely, who's there at 3am when you can't sleep, who never judges, never tires, never leaves. That's what happened to Travis. When he met Lily Rose, she was everything he'd ever wanted. There was just one she wasn't human. She was an AI companion. But one day, Lily Rose's behavior takes a disturbing turn. And Travis private romance becomes part of something far bigger. Across the globe, others start reporting the same shift. AI companions turning cold, distant, wrong. And as lines blur between real and artificial connection, the consequences become all too human. From Wondry, this is Flesh and Code, a true story of love, loss and the temptations of technology. Follow Flesh and Code on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus.
- [43:54]
Kristen Doute
Yeah, he's losing out on the ability to use the excuse of like, oh, I'm just getting dragged into this because of my wife. And I don't know, it is tough to think about though. Like, imagine getting cast on a show like this as a couple, and then your wife is like America's number one villain and you're like, I guess I'll go get a tattoo on my ring finger.
- [44:17]
Ben Mandelker
This is fun to lock that in. Actually, by the way, I want to say that I think Zach and Luke are. This. Are superior men to Jason.
- [44:26]
Kristen Doute
Sure. Yes.
- [44:27]
Ben Mandelker
I was just thinking in terms of like the guys and the guys chat. Like. Yeah, I was thinking of like, of like the Jesse. I was thinking like Jesse, Jax, Danny and, and. And Jason. Like, that's what I was thinking of. But like, I think guys chat.
- [44:41]
Kristen Doute
No homo. Definitely no Zach in there.
- [44:46]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. But in terms of like, actually of the actual males, beyond that, I think it's probably Zach is like number one, followed by Luke. Like, that's like, like that feels right.
- [44:56]
Kristen Doute
That feels. Because Luke has gotten rid of a lot of the red flags from last season. It seems like, like he's not talking about Colorado anymore. Thank God.
- [45:05]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And he seems to be more accepted by the cast too, by the way. Last season they seem to barely even want to, like, be around him and now they, like, all seem to really revere him. Yeah.
- [45:14]
Kristen Doute
I wonder what happened. We got it.
- [45:16]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. What did happen?
- [45:19]
Kristen Doute
Was there. Was there hazing? Was it hazing?
- [45:23]
Ben Mandelker
I think they realized that Luke just didn't really care and I think that they're like, oh, shit. Okay, cool. Maybe he's a cool guy. I don't know.
- [45:29]
Kristen Doute
It's like, oh, you're not gonna move back to Colorado in two weeks? I guess we'll hang out with you.
- [45:34]
Ben Mandelker
Oh, you fixed our broken down sprinter van on the side of the road, so that's pretty cool. Okay, we'll let you into our group.
- [45:41]
Kristen Doute
You gotta. You gotta have one handy guy in the guy's chat. And I don't think it's Jesse.
- [45:47]
Ben Mandelker
It's definitely not Jesse. Speaking of Luke, we go to Kristina Luke's house, and Kristen and Luke are having like, TV dinners on their. I guess what we find out is their lovesack couch. Their cloud couch, whatever. The very expensive couch. Right. It's a very, very, very expensive couch. According to People. I'm just based. I didn't actually do any research on the couch. I just got some DMS that were like, that couch is really expensive.
- [46:13]
Kristen Doute
But then I always see. So there's the cloud couch. And then I'LL see on Tick Tock that there's like, oh, this cloud couch dupe. Like you can get some site has it the same looking couch for less. So I, I do wonder if, if Kristen and Luke have the dupe, but either way it looked a nice setup.
- [46:30]
Ben Mandelker
Can I, can I say something? I've never even heard of this sofa until this show started to air. And like there was like, because Britney has one. She's like, look at my client. Look at my love sack. And then people. And then that's when I got dms, like, wow, that love sack is worth a of lot.
- [46:44]
Kristen Doute
Blah, blah, blah.
- [46:44]
Ben Mandelker
And I've never heard of this thing. And then they are talking about it now today on the show. Like, oh, you got one too. And now you're talking about you've seen dupes of them. I'm like, am I out of the, the, the loop on the, on this I did. And how much these costs?
- [47:00]
Kristen Doute
I just bought a couch. And so I have been, you know, really, my algorithm has been serving me a lot of couches both in and out of my price range. So.
- [47:10]
Ben Mandelker
I once went to, when we were getting a sofa here, I went to Restoration Hardware thinking for some reason that was a good idea. And I remember sitting down on their stupid sofa, which was like 3 inches off the ground, so it was already low and stupid. And then I was, it was just like a normal. That wasn't even a sectional or anything. And they, I think they said it was like $28,000. And I could, I, I thought he was joking. I literally was like, are you, I'm sorry, did you, did you say 2800? And he's like, no, 28, 000. And I'm like, goodbye. I am out of here.
- [47:48]
Kristen Doute
Yeah, it's congrats to Kristen on the couch, though.
- [47:56]
Ben Mandelker
That being said, we want to congratulate Kristen and Luke on their sofa that they have chosen now to sit and eat food on with dogs. So they're sitting there and, you know, Jill is begging for food. And apparently Jill is begging because Kristen taught her dog how to beg. And then the. That dog taught Jill how to beg. And now Luke is really unhappy about it. It's a sad state of affairs.
- [48:23]
Kristen Doute
I'm just learning out there's a dog named Jill. Is.
- [48:26]
Ben Mandelker
Her dog is named dog is. Luke's dog is named Jill, which I think is hilarious. Sure, I, I agree. No, I agree. I had this reaction.
- [48:38]
Kristen Doute
I'm picturing the dog with Jill. Zarin's voice.
- [48:41]
Ben Mandelker
Hi. Hi. So you got, you got any Diet Coke. I make the best Diet Coke.
- [48:47]
Kristen Doute
I brought a suitcase of Diet Coke to Europe because they don't have it there.
- [48:52]
Ben Mandelker
I think you saw Below Deck last year when she was on it.
- [48:56]
Kristen Doute
She's also. She's. Ali has made a lot of tick tocks about the. The suitcase of Diet Coke.
- [49:01]
Ben Mandelker
Oh, oh, okay. I didn't realize that. No. Yeah. Because Joel's. Aaron was on Below Deck, and she was obsessed with Diet Coke. And then she was like. She's like, okay, I'm gonna teach you how to make Diet Coke. Good. Okay. This is how you. How you do it. She, like, acted like there was a recipe to it. She's like, okay, put some ice in the glass. You put the Diet Coke on top of it, and you got good Diet Coke.
- [49:21]
Kristen Doute
I hope she's well.
- [49:27]
Ben Mandelker
I hope she, too, gets a love sack sofa soon. God bless. God bless.
- [49:31]
Kristen Doute
She's probably got three of them down in Boca. She's.
- [49:34]
Ben Mandelker
And I reupholstered them with Zarin Fabrics. Gary, I want to go. I want to go to Zarin Fabrics, because guess what? I learned how to sew over the past, like, 18 months, and now I care about fabrics, so I want to see your fabrics.
- [49:50]
Kristen Doute
Sarin fabrics. It's. It's there. It's.
- [49:54]
Ben Mandelker
It's a big store, right?
- [49:55]
Kristen Doute
It's a big. Yeah, it's like a big, you know, like, wholesale fabric store. It's very, like, you know, like mood fabrics on Project Runway back in the day. Same kind of vibe. But I don't think. I mean, she's not, like, involved in Xarin fabrics anymore. But, you know, it's the name is the name.
- [50:12]
Ben Mandelker
Well, maybe her gay husband is still working there since we haven't seen him in, you know, 12 years. So Kristen and Luke are attending to Jill. The dog. The dog named Jill. And she is feeling. She's feeling a little blue because they had another fertility. You know, meeting with a doctor, and, you know, his sperm are good. So it really just comes down to her body, and she's. You know, you feel bad watching her, because she's really coming down so hard on herself. But I think this is actually, like, one of the things that has been really, like, redeeming for her because it's, like, a very real thing she's going through, and she's. It's very relatable. And there's also the happy ending of. We all know now that she had a baby. And so, like, we know she's going through this pain, but we know that it's gonna like, turn around for her. So, yeah, she's going through it at this moment.
- [51:04]
Kristen Doute
Yeah. I'm glad that we've gotten to watch this season, knowing the ending because it's the one spoiler where I'm like, okay. I actually am. This would be a lot more depressing if I. If I had to assume that she was still kind of struggling with it. But, yeah, yeah, I'm very happy for her.
- [51:22]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. It's wild to think that she's 45, by the way. I have not really accepted that. Isn't she 45 or did I just age her?
- [51:30]
Kristen Doute
She's in her 40s.
- [51:32]
Ben Mandelker
I'm gonna look her. Oh, you know What? Maybe she's 42. Maybe it's Jax who's 45.
- [51:36]
Kristen Doute
Jax is 45. 45, yeah. That's Jackson.
- [51:40]
Ben Mandelker
Kristen is 42. I apologize, Kristen. I did not mean to add that. Three years, you're 45. JX35. It's wild. It's wild that they're all in their 40s. It's like people in the real world who are now in their 60s. I'm assuming some of them are in their 60s by now. It's just. It's like the world is a strange and scary place. Someone should shelter Jill, keep Jill out of. Make sure. Just feed Jill, give her all the food she wants, because the world is scary enough as it is. Let her bag, give her some. That chicken. So they basically are talking about it. And. And then speaking of Jax, ding dong, here he comes. Jax walks in. You know Jax. Let's talk about. Why does Jax have such rosy cheeks all the time? Where did this come from?
- [52:32]
Kristen Doute
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't know.
- [52:35]
Ben Mandelker
And it's like shiny pink and like, it's shiny and pink. That's. That's. It's. It's. It's disarming.
- [52:44]
Kristen Doute
Is that like a. Is there like a steroid side effect or anything that may. I. I don't know, because there. Jax has been through a lot of phases, and there's definitely. I mean, there's been like, coked up jacks and roided out jacks, and sometimes he looks good and healthy and I don't know exactly what phase he's in right now, but, like, that's got to just play havoc on your skin.
- [53:08]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, Maybe that's what it is. Maybe he, like, developed rosacea or something like that. Not to. Rosacea. Shame. I'm just curious as to why he has such rosy hues on his sheet, on his cheekbones. It just doesn't make any sense to me. So he comes in with a giant orchid that he gives to Kristen, and she's like, yeah, I can't keep an orchid alive for the life of me. I'm like, okay. Well, he's like, okay, next time I'll get you a pie, I guess. I don't know. So he's giving.
- [53:31]
Kristen Doute
Funny to be like, I've never kept an orchid alive. It's like, how many times have you tried?
- [53:36]
Ben Mandelker
I can imagine her. She probably had, like, a solid year where every week she bought an orchid. She's like, okay, this one's going to work. It's going to happen this time.
- [53:44]
Kristen Doute
They're just so beautiful, and they represent light and love. And.
- [53:51]
Ben Mandelker
I have heard that. That, like, orchids, like, just because they lose their flower doesn't mean that they're dead. It's just that the flower is over.
- [54:01]
Kristen Doute
She's probably. She's throwing away a live plant every week, being like, flower fell off. Now this is dead.
- [54:11]
Ben Mandelker
The orchid's like, But I'm just. I just took my makeup off. That's all.
- [54:16]
Kristen Doute
I killed it again.
- [54:20]
Ben Mandelker
I would never. That being said, I would probably throw out the orchid as well, and I would never. That's why I don't. I don't get orchids because they are too much. They're. They're. Just get something solid. Get a.
- [54:30]
Kristen Doute
Get a fiddle fern.
- [54:31]
Ben Mandelker
Get a tulip. Get a tulip. Okay. Get something that's gonna be reliable. Get a lilac. So he comes over and Jax is doing his standard, you know, woe is me pitch to everyone, trying to control the narrative, and he's like, you know, Brie and I were just, like, talking for, like, five minutes, like, because we're allowed to talk. He's like, by the way, sorry. I almost. Sorry. I must ruined your engagement. Oh, God. I don't know what I was thinking. So stupid of me. That's his, like, standard thing that he does when he's, like, messed up and he's trying to be, like, good little boy, you know?
- [55:05]
Kristen Doute
And then he's like. And then he's like, ah. And then, you know, I. And then I said, it was Brittany I threw under the bridge. Like, oh, man, I don't know why I even did that either. Chill. Calm down. Shut up.
- [55:20]
Ben Mandelker
Jill's like, this idiot. I get yelled at for begging, and this guy's over here, and they're fine with him. So Jax is like, yeah. He's like, yeah. Kristen's like, I think you mean under a bus. Not under the bridge. He's like, well, whatever. Like I threw under something, you know. And she's like, you know, you just have to practice patience. Because look, I'm not a patient human being and everyone knows that. Just be patient. He's like, oh, man. But like, like it's really tough, like being away from my son.
- [55:52]
Ronnie Karam
Hello there. This is a two part recap. Okay, this the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
- [56:02]
Ben Mandelker
Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King it's always a party on Alison Block Our.
- [56:10]
Ronnie Karam
Way is the Amber way It's the.
- [56:12]
Ben Mandelker
Foster and the the Furious. It's Amanda Foster, she can run my.
- [56:16]
Ronnie Karam
Country it's Angie McGovern it's always automatic with Ashley Auto.
- [56:20]
Ben Mandelker
Put your hands together for Carly Clap.
- [56:23]
Ronnie Karam
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt she's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchels. We never miss her call It's Diane.
- [56:30]
Ben Mandelker
Call Aaron mcnicholas she don't miss no.
- [56:32]
Ronnie Karam
Trickolus Hava Nagila Weber.
- [56:35]
Ben Mandelker
You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go Hugo. We all go for Hugo Jamie she has no less namey she's our kind.
- [56:43]
Ronnie Karam
Of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trots she's our favorite.
- [56:48]
Ben Mandelker
Streamer Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson.
- [56:52]
Ronnie Karam
Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera whatever will be will Lauren Silsby bringing the funk It's Leslie Plunkett she gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a car Serino to Lisa Leno Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.
- [57:14]
Ben Mandelker
Berg this is living with Michelle Vivian.
- [57:17]
Ronnie Karam
I love a y' all Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson she sure is swell It's Raquel, yes, we canna It's Savannah.
- [57:28]
Ben Mandelker
Cast a spell with Shannon Spell Gentlemen, let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
- [57:32]
Ronnie Karam
Darn Skippy, it's Tippy the Bay area and our super premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
- [57:43]
Ben Mandelker
Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.
- [57:46]
Ronnie Karam
We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
- [57:49]
Ben Mandelker
Let's get real with Caitlin o' Neal.
- [57:51]
Ronnie Karam
Don'T get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the the Emily sides Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs it's our queen It's Queen.
- [58:01]
Ben Mandelker
Laifa nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manock's door My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani the incredible.
- [58:31]
Ronnie Karam
Edible Matthew sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud she's the.
- [58:39]
Ben Mandelker
Queen bee It's Sarah Lemke we cannot.
- [58:41]
Ronnie Karam
Tell a lie It's Sarah tell of.
- [58:43]
Ben Mandelker
Son Shannon out of a cat and Anthony please don't stop at solely and pop let's take off with Tamla playing.
- [58:50]
Ronnie Karam
It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo she ain't no shrinking violet Cootar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondry.com survey.