#2940 The Valley S2E15 Part One: Mad Jax Fury Toad

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens - Episode #2940: The Valley S2E15 Part One: Mad Jax Fury Toad

Release Date: July 23, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode #2940 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive into a detailed recap of the season finale of Bravo's reality series, The Valley. This two-part episode provides listeners with an in-depth analysis, humorous commentary, and critical insights into the dramatic events that unfolded in Season 2, Episode 15: Mad Jax Fury Toad.

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Recapping the Season Finale

Key Characters and Plot Points

• Janet and Lala’s Conflict

  • Janet arrives at Lala’s house with Porto, a popular local Cuban bakery, attempting to win Lala over with her choice of food. Ben remarks humorously, “I just ordered fantastic pictures of my nieces and my family when they were here in Los Angeles...” (00:24).
  • Lala introduces her new baby, Sosa, sparking conversations about naming and parental responsibilities. Ronnie quips, “I want to have another baby. You know, I always said it one is done...” (08:05).

• Jax Taylor’s Turmoil

  • Jax Taylor is portrayed as the show's antagonist, battling with alcoholism and abusive behavior. Ben expresses frustration, “He's a cokehead who's abusive and threw a table at his wife...” (32:19).
  • Jax's lack of accountability contrasts sharply with Danny’s more sympathetic portrayal, leading to discussions about hypocrisy within the show's narrative. Ronnie notes, “Jax is the master of figuring out what is the right thing to say...” (37:18).

• Michelle and Brittany’s Dynamics

  • Michelle attempts to mediate conflicts between other cast members, particularly concerning Jax's behavior. She introduces a Zen Party as a means to foster harmony, which Ben humorously critiques, “What's that? You the one who just tried to fix all of your problems by going to an ayahuasca retreat...” (46:30).
  • Brittany takes control of the mortgage, raising questions about financial decisions post-divorce. Ben sarcastically questions, “Did she just really take over this mortgage that has $1.2 million of Jax Taylor debt on it?” (48:39).

• Danny and Nia’s Relationship

  • Danny faces criticism for his behavior, yet receives a more forgiving treatment compared to Jax. The hosts discuss the show's editing choices, highlighting Danny’s appearances and apologies, contrasting them with Jax’s ongoing issues. Ronnie observes, “I think Danny, on another season where you didn't have someone as monstrous as Jax...” (30:28).

• Final Confrontations at Yamashiro Restaurant

  • The season finale culminates at the elegant Yamashiro Restaurant, where tensions reach a boiling point. Characters navigate through superficial interactions amidst genuine grievances. The hosts comment on the setting's aesthetics versus the underlying conflicts, with Ronnie stating, “Yamashiro is nice. It's like, it's gorgeous...” (59:47).

Notable Quotes

• Ben Mandelker: “He's a cokehead who's abusive and threw a table at his wife to give her a black fucking leg...” (32:19)

• Ronnie Karam: “Jax knows he's the monster, which is why he's trying to push the attention onto Danny...” (33:16)

• Ben Mandelker: “I wish Beyoncé did a Dave and Buster's birthday party. Don’t forget, so…” (17:14)

• Ronnie Karam: “Michelle comes over, and it's like, how you doing? I am okay. Okay, well, how did you feel about our trip together...” (43:06)

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Hosts' Insights and Analysis

• Critique of Production Choices

  • Ben and Ronnie express skepticism about the authenticity of certain events, suggesting that some conflicts might be exaggerated or fabricated for dramatic effect. They question the editing strategies that favor certain characters over others, particularly highlighting the differential treatment of Jax and Danny.

• Character Accountability

  • A significant portion of the discussion centers around Jax’s lack of accountability compared to Danny’s efforts to make amends. The hosts argue that the show's editing portrays a skewed moral perspective, undermining the severity of Jax's actions while inadvertently glorifying Danny.

• Humorous Commentary

  • Throughout the recap, Ben and Ronnie employ humor and sarcasm to underscore the absurdities they perceive in the show's narrative and character portrayals. From mocking Janet’s “Zen Party” as a futile attempt to mend relations to poking fun at the overpriced meals at Yamashiro, their lighthearted approach provides an engaging contrast to the heavy drama of The Valley.

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Conclusion and Teasers for Part Two

As Part One of the recap concludes, Ben and Ronnie hint at unresolved tensions and future confrontations that will be explored in the upcoming Part Two of the episode. They leave listeners anticipating a continuation of their sharp critique and entertaining breakdown of the remaining events from the season finale.

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Closing Remarks

Watch What Crappens Episode #2940 offers a comprehensive and entertaining recap of The Valley Season 2 Finale, blending critical analysis with humor. Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam provide valuable insights into the show's dynamics, character developments, and production decisions, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.

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Note: This episode is the first part of a two-part series. Stay tuned for Part Two, where Ben and Ronnie will delve deeper into the aftermath of the season finale and explore additional insights and reactions.

Transcript

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

How are you?

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm fabulous. We have a big day of podcasting today. We are going to be recapping the season finale of the Valley that rhymes. And then later today we are going to recap the season finale of next gen New York City. And earlier today we went on to Julia Cunningham's podcasts or I'm sorry, radio show, which will be, I think in about next week is going to be where. Yeah, so keep an ear out for that one. We had so much fun talking with Julia. We love Julia. Also, huge thank you to everyone who showed up for our very first ever Amazon Live last night. I cannot tell you how much fun that we had. I think we like for me, I unlocked a part of me that I didn't even know existed, which is someone like. But my I, I unlocked my inner Stacy from Potomac. Essentially. I'm like, it turns out I really enjoy talking about products in front of an audience and I had the most fun talking about sheet pans and Dutch ovens and all that fun stuff. So it was super, super fun doing it with you, Ronnie. And it was great commenting.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, yeah, it was fun and fun reading the comments and stuff. We're gonna do them the next couple of weeks. Mondays, uh, the next two Mondays at 4:00pm Pacific Time on Amazon Live. We'll put a link up every day when we go up. So just check our Instagram for the link. But we should. You should see us on Amazon Live. But if you want a link, just check our. Check our Insta. By the way, my glasses are. Because I'm still waiting for my eyes to heal up. They're mostly healed, but look, I'll show you a little. They're mostly healed, but I'm bruised, so I'm just. I'm just wearing the glasses so I don't trigger people with bruising. But they're almost back. Hopefully by next week, I'll be glasses free and won't look like such a douchebag.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, you don't look. You look great. This is like your Hunter S. Thompson era. It's wonderful. I'm so into it. But yeah, so lots of. Between the sunglasses and the Amazon Live and the radio shows, it's been a busy week around here and we're having a great time. But let's get into it. Unless there are any other announcements. Oh, patreon.com. watch what happens. Of course. Never forget the Patreon right now. Come on. And you get access to all sorts of fun things, like, for instance, grab us on Demand where you can watch Ryan's sunglasses. So do that on demand.

[Ben Mandelker]

Go check all the Love island recaps. We will reboot next week with new bonus episodes probably about, I don't know, our lives for a while. So join us. Join us for that next week. So here we are with the Valley season finale of the Valley Valley finale. This new resentment.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, deep title for that episode. This episode, the Zen Party is brought to you by our favorite store in Orange County, Zensations. So everything starts off with Janet. Janet shows up at Lala's house with Porto, which is a local Cuban bakery here that people are obsessed with.

[Ben Mandelker]

Love. Porto. Yes, I love Porto. I've been ordering from there a lot. And I can't believe she brought that to Lala's house. Because Lala is not eating Porto's. Okay, Everything is fried and greased and carved. But nice try. I mean, I figured, you know, that's what a person like Janet would do. Show up to someone like Lala's house with carbs.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, Lala's. Like, I don't eat at Porto's. I eat at Por Hose. Get what I said there?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's my post divorce journeys. Lala's new baby is here named Sosa, which I don't know if that's for the basketball player. Isn't that a. No, baseball.

[Ronnie Karam]

Baseball player. Sammy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sosa baseball name or is it just. Yeah, away from so. So.

[Ronnie Karam]

That is. That is the most Lala name. I mean, only someone named Lala would then be like my, my name is Lala. My daughter's name is Sassa.

[Ben Mandelker]

And the other one, the other one who looks like grand.

[Ronnie Karam]

So. So.

[Ben Mandelker]

Our next kid's going to be named Sapra. So Michelle and Brittany come over and you know, because you just hear, oh.

[Ronnie Karam]

Little baby. It's little baby.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're just chicken wing.

[Ronnie Karam]

You're just little chicken wing, aren't you?

[Ben Mandelker]

Brittany, please stop dipping my baby some blue chest.

[Ronnie Karam]

Hey, you know what that baby looks like? You know what that baby looks like? A little bridge.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sushi bridge.

[Ronnie Karam]

Remember that little bridge at the sushi? Chicken feet. Put a chicken feet on a bridge that looks like a baby.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do you forget what they look like.

[Ronnie Karam]

When they're little babies?

[Ben Mandelker]

They're a little baby.

[Ronnie Karam]

I want to have another baby. You know, I always said it one in done. But I know that something that Aaron really wants is to have several hive if you will. So I said maybe. But just looking at somebody else have a baby, it's very sweet and it gives me a feeling. Look, here I am, Michelle Lally having an emotion.

[Ben Mandelker]

Look at me. I am emoting right now. Yeah, Michelle, we all know what Aaron wants and it is a bag of coke. Okay? I don't. Michelle's like, look at me. It is my era of better decisions. You're considering have a baby with a man who has an entire honey line based off of cocaine terminology and named his dog Kilo. Okay. Oh, rethink now. Does that mean parents can't do coke? Of course not. If there are parents out there doing coke, you guys, you go for it. But listen, this is your second go round. Aim higher, Michelle, for sake.

[Ronnie Karam]

Aim higher than someone who looks like they just stumbled into a road and is about to get run over. We've all seen that movie. We have all seen the movie the guy running away from someone and then they step into the road and they're like. And they get run over it. Like that's his face. His face is like he has headlights in his face. Yeah, not even a deer in the headlights. It's just a.

[Ben Mandelker]

They're catching up. And Brittany's like, well, it's just been disaster after disaster. Yeah, James, who sent me off, you guys would be real proud of me. I told him off. I'll let him have it. Britney, you've been letting him have it for years. You'll be back together within a year.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, well, I'm good.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do you think she will? I hope she doesn't. I hope that. I'm not going to pretend that. I'm going to hope that. I'm going to take that back and hope better for Britney.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm going to give it two years. So Britney is like, well I was going. I was like I'm going to expect you to start paying for half cruise dollar doctor bills and then stuff like that. And then he freaked out at me and was like, well I'm going to go after alimony.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I was like I don't even.

[Ronnie Karam]

Know who Ally is and why does. Well, I know Ally Lar cool. She's not actress but Ali Mooney. Don't know her. Anyway, I'll win you because I'm gonna make you because you make more money than me. That's what he said. And blah blah, blah, blah, blah. Wow, I really had him. Really rang him. New one.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, yeah, you'd like make more money because a cocaine addiction is expensive. So I suggest you give that up. Cocaine, right everybody. Michelle's like, I can get you a family disc gound.

[Ronnie Karam]

Ever since I had Cruise, I've. I've always been able to protect and make sure there was nothing around. So now that our S is getting old, like you shouldn't be doing this after you have a child or whatsoever. Like, well, maybe you shouldn't also be on this show, but that's another issue.

[Ben Mandelker]

So yeah, I mean just get away from Jax. Just block Jax and stop taking Jax's calls because at this point it's just that man is dangerous. Oh my God.

[Ronnie Karam]

Speak only through a mediator. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. And especially the one that you found because I love that lawyer. What was her name?

[Ronnie Karam]

Like Oz Nas is that. She's like, I love their voice in what?

[Ben Mandelker]

Tell me you need to go. You need to go right now. So Britney's like, yeah, I ain't letting Cruise go over there anytime soon. It's a bachelor pile.

[Ronnie Karam]

I feel like there's nasty girls there. And until the divorce is finalized we have like drug testing rules in place. I don't feel comfortable Cruise going over there. And Lala's like, and he's okay, but that's. And she's like, yeah, I mean he doesn't really have a choice. So they're all like, yeah, we got him by the balls. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now they talk about the Hawaii trip. And Janet's like, well, I mean Hawaii, that was rough. And Brittany's like, yeah, well I had a fun time but they don't like you, Janet.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Janet's like Kristen Lukes. And so, yeah, she's. Janet's like, she called me a. Wow, Janet. So that seems like a little bit of a Lindsay call.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm sorry I interrupted.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm assuming it's during one of Maripos's, you know, mid cruise, you know, flip outs. Like, I will not let you go after Nia and Danny, the most wonderful people on planet Earth. You are not allowed to.

[Ben Mandelker]

Which, by the way, calling her A.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm sure I don't. I don't remember either. But I also like that it's. I would not be surprised if it, like, never made it to air or if did make it to air and it did not. I did not keep it in my brain.

[Ben Mandelker]

I wouldn't be surprised either. But I also wouldn't be surprised if Jan is just making that up because it's Janet.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, our note taker also did not remember. And Shelby wrote that she said she went back and looked it up in previous notes and that was not in the show if it happened. So it looks like Janet might be fabricating because we will take Shelby's word over Janet's any day. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Janet's like, she threatened to beat me up and my baby. She threatened to murder a baby. A baby. She called my baby a and threatened to beat it up. And she called me a fan. And Lala's like, well, I mean, you know, broken clocks, etc. And Michelle's like. I was like, hold on, everybody. I was like, go down.

[Ronnie Karam]

I also don't remember that happening. Michelle Lolly, the great mediator. Everyone calm down. I think maybe you were telling that to your boyfriend whose eyes were like, bugging out.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, yeah. And I was like, okay, Kristen, I would love for you to hit me. I would love nothing more than for jail to take away your engagement ring for the night. By the way, you can't take away mine because it's sewn on. I sewed it on. I have Jason's ring nailed to his fucking bones. If he ever takes that off, he's going to lose his finger. I machine gun Kelly that shit onto his. Anyway, I was like, I would love for you to look at your ring and only think of me in prison. The prison you go to when you call people a whore.

[Ronnie Karam]

By the way, Lala, do you mind signing my ring real quick? Thanks. So Lala's like, yeah, Yalls group is messy. I'm like, you're the one who's trying to get on the show, Lala. So Michelle's like, yeah, feels very crazy to me. Like, every day, you know, I tried Janet. Here's Janet's big moment. I tried. I really did. This summer, I included her Kristen. And what did it get me? Where did. Where did it get me? Rumors about my husband. My husband. And I hope every time she looks at that ring, she sees a reflection of me. I'm like, okay, like, this is like you're trying to do some sort of Alanis Morissette moment. Like, and every time you scratch your nails on someone else's back, I hope you feel my Dave and Busters tickets. I hope you do.

[Ben Mandelker]

I invited her to Dave and Busters. Dave and Busters in Carson City. And she could treat me like this. That's the best location of the David. But you had to drive two hours in the sun. How could she threaten to murder my whore? Baby.

[Ronnie Karam]

I want you to know that I'm happy for you. I want nothing more than you to go to jail for one night and have your ring taken away from her for one single day.

[Ben Mandelker]

I am screenshotting this because I don't want to show the date or whatever because I don't want people to show up. But a friend of ours is going to Janet's birthday party this year. She's friends with Janet. I don't want to mess this up. Hold on. Let me. Let me. Let me change orientation of this so I can show it on the screen. I don't know why I find this so fucking funny. I just do. It's just. So, Janet, this birthday invitation. Okay, I took out the date, everybody. Sorry for the wait, but this is Janet. Come celebrate Janet's birthday. The literal only way she knows how. Dave and Busters, everybody. That's my thing. I'm a wacky person. I go to Dave and Busters and it says cocktail attire encouraged because Dave and Busters can be fancy too. Buster's money.

[Ronnie Karam]

Get ready. Get ready for that Dave and Buster's time at Janet. All the threes of you just batting down the hatches to get to that crash Janet's party.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. I wonder how many people we're gonna get begging for the date, just yegging for the date.

[Ronnie Karam]

And if you bring your gay friend, you can get Jason getting extra afro to him. So. So then it was a better Dave and Busters, though.

[Ben Mandelker]

She did. She is moving up in the David, Dave and Buster's world.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, remember Beyonce did a Dave and Buster's birthday party. Don't forget. So, I mean, I hate to drag Beyonce into this, but as long as beehives. What'd you say?

[Ben Mandelker]

Who did it first?

[Ronnie Karam]

Beyonce.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, there you go. So now we go to Jax's condo and Luke and Jason are there. And I love these shots of Jason's condo. A lot of reasons, because first it's four stories, okay? They have to go to the fourth story to go outside. And they're all huffing and puffing, and Jack's like, look at it. I can't believe Jack can even do it with his limited nasal strength, but God bless him, he makes it to the top. And then the other reason I love it is because the first thing the editors do is show a plane flying overhead, which the James Kennedy treatment. And I just thought that was so sweet.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's like that Southwest plane, like, it's just like when that shows up, that is like a David lynch detail. That's like, this is the sign of Bob coming to possess, like, someone, you know, Like. Like, this is like, this is the sign of there's danger in this home. There's an abuser in this home. Beware. Because, yeah, we see that plane. And.

[Ben Mandelker]

But.

[Ronnie Karam]

But also, like, seriously, it really is just the Post productions way of saying, like, yeah, this guy thinks he has it made, but he lives under an airport. He lives under a flight pattern right now. Yeah. And he will never be happy. He will never find the piece that he's looking for.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think your first take was good. The. I think production's like, abuser. An abuser lives here because everyone else lives in the valley and they don't get that. And trust me, we all have the planes in the valley. We all have them. We had a party over here for watch what happens after our tour. And people, you know, a bunch of Bravo commentators and stuff were here and playing when a plane would fly overhead, everyone would be like, oh, my God, it's like James Kennedy's house. You know, like a Bravo thing at this point.

[Ronnie Karam]

But it also is just like, that's them trolling because, like, it's them saying, look at this cheap ass place that they live in. Because, yes, you're right, everyone in the Valley lives under. Essentially under the Burbank Airport flight path. But to highlight that there's a plane over your place, it means the suggestion is, yeah, you think you're living at large, but we all know you live close to that airport because that's what you could afford, you know, And. And like, whether or not that's true, that's what they've decided the narrative that they're going to push on this show. And I think it's wonderful. Good job.

[Ben Mandelker]

Post performance, he's like, look, everybody. Like, my place is, you know, it's decorated. You know, it's finally decorated. So you're gonna have people over. It's like a used condom over a lamp. Like, nice job the chip and Joannas do this. Like, damn.

[Ronnie Karam]

What Just what task rabbit? Maybe I should call it a tisk rabbit. What task rabbit came in and decorated this place just like random, like sports memorabilia on the wall and like the. The room cruises room with like the. The kids stuff. I was like, Jax100 did not do any of this stuff. I want to know who was commissioned to do this.

[Ben Mandelker]

There's still wood art on the wall, like word art. It's just a big plank of wood that says come. Yeah. So Jax is like, yeah, you know, I want to call it a bachelor pad, but yeah, I mean, I guess it's a bachelor pass. So, yeah, it's a bachelor passing. So he's showing everyone Cruz's room. And he's like, yeah, I gave him the big room. No, you didn't. That's not the big room. That's a tiny little room. Don't tell me that you gave. She's.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jax. Kim. Jax just be done now. I mean, he is done, right?

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, he will be, but. And you have to sit through three more weeks of this. So then, yeah, he's like, yeah, that's. I just. My main thing is like, how good can this be for cruise? Like, what is the best environment for my little boy? How many flights of stairs can you fall down while I'm up on the roof drinking beers?

[Ben Mandelker]

I was thinking about this cruise, which is why I got a four story house.

[Ronnie Karam]

I just want to know, like, what is the best place for my son? And I thought, you know, what? Many staircases, no yard. Perfect.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. He's like, I even got a beautiful rooftop. It overlooks the city, it overlooks apartments. And it over. It's next to Schwartz's place, you know, so I got my best friend actually close to me to help. Doing great.

[Ronnie Karam]

We don't need to see this show's version of Wilson in the form of Schwartz, who can't even do the Wilson right because we see his full face. Like, we. Like, that is not a value add to be like, oh, yeah. And I have. I share a fence with. With Tom Schwartz. Yeah, that's like literally, that's like the part on House Hunters where they put an X like this Is the downside, like, well, it's close to work, easy commute, close to Center Town, But I do share a fence with Tom Schwartz. I think we have to cross that house off the list.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, I just. I want to be close to town, but I also really need to have a fence where there's someone that can just say this occasionally. Women. Am I right?

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, even though the house is 35 minutes from work and does not have electricity, is not furnished, and is $250,000 over budget, I really like that it's not attached to Schwartz, so we're gonna go for that one.

[Ben Mandelker]

So he's telling everybody. Yeah, you know, like, I'm at my house the other day. Bernie's yelling and screaming at me, you know, and she's, like, literally texting me every day since, like, talking to me about the house, talking to me about, like, what flower she's putting in. You know, like, one day you're hot. Let's say you're cold. Like, what do you want me to do? Like, you don't want me to be around the. Fine. Stop texting me every fucking day. Okay, then, like, pay her what you owe her and, like, do what you're supposed to do so she doesn't have to text you and say, hey, Dax, I found a kilo buried under some flowers. Since it's yours, you better get away from my baby. You better get away from my chicken wing over here. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. The pace of life is faster than ever. And if you keep meaning to check out your favorite author's latest title but you can't seem to find the time, Audible is the perfect solution for you.

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I am listening to the title, Dungeon crawler Carl, which is actually insane. And I read all the series, but I loved it so much that now I'm listening to it as I drive around, and it's just. It's so cool listening to it because the guy does so many funny characters. I'm just loving it. I've always loved Audible, and this is just like listening to a play in my car. I love it. There's more to imagine when you listen.

[Ronnie Karam]

Go to audible.com crappins and sign up for a free 30 day trial. That's audible.com crappins Imagine falling in love with someone who understands you completely, who's there at 3am when you can't sleep, who never judges, never tires, never leaves. That's what happened to Travis when he met Lily Rose. She was everything he'd ever wanted. There was just one catch.

[Ben Mandelker]

She wasn't human.

[Ronnie Karam]

She was an AI companion. But one day, Lily Rose's behavior takes a disturbing turn. And Travis's private romance becomes part of something far bigger. Across the globe, others start reporting the same shift. AI companions turning cold, distant, wrong. And as lines blur between real and artificial connection, the consequences become all too human. From Wondry, this is Flesh and Code.

[Ben Mandelker]

A true story of love, loss, and.

[Ronnie Karam]

The temptations of technology. Follow Flesh and Code on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus. So Jason's like, so would you say that she's breadcrumbing you? Yeah, I've been reading buzzfeed. I know breadcrumbing is. You think like, she's breadcrumbing you, and it's like, that's exactly what it is. She's breadcrumbing me. I'm like, she's literally not breadcrumbing you. Like, breadcrumbing is, I think, a dating term. Right? Isn't that like when you are like, you're leading someone on, that they, like, this is just. This is just Brittany being messy. Jax is the breadcrumber, but Jax has the loaf. He has the loaf of the. The shitty, stale sourdough that he's scattering across the valley for everyone. And then he's throwing it up himself. He can't even do Hansel and Gretel correctly.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, he can't be breadcrumbed because he just snort them up. You know, his. His body has probably learned to metabolize that shit. Yeah. So. And also, Jason, shut the up. Jason over here. Like, turning it around. Trying to stand up for this abusive piece of. She breadcrumbing you? Yeah, everybody wants Jason back. Everybody needs Jack's Couchy back. Jason.

[Ronnie Karam]

I just. Here's the thing that really bothers me with Jason, and this is where, like, this is. One of our listeners brought this up on Crappy Hour and I really have not been able to get it out of my mind, which is that Jason and Janet are very righteous about Danny. Technically Performing sexual assaults. And yet they. They seem to not be so technical about Jax. And.

[Ben Mandelker]

And, well, yeah, that's what we've been saying for the whole year. I mean, what the hell? He's like, their morals are like, oh, my God, we're so outraged at the butt grab, but you're fine with your abusive piece of friend. And now it's now making. Turning it around and making it sound like Britney. Britney's with him. Loser. Loser behavior, Jason.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So, yeah, Jax is saying that he's like, baby proofing because he's gonna make. He wants Britney to feel comfortable to have Cruz in this MC Escher townhouse. And so, you know, Jesse's like, well, Luke has proposed that Jax install a universal camera that they can all watch the baby with.

[Ben Mandelker]

Not a ring. Please do not get a name brand camera. I don't want her to be offended. This needs to be universal, okay? Just get some knockoff Amazon shit.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, I think it literally is like, let's hit up the people, our partners at NBC Universal, and see if they've got a camera. So then Jesse's like, also baby gates. Jesse's like, I'm just gonna put this one out here. Maybe she'll feel more comfortable if you put some baby gates in front of one of your many staircases that your child could fall down.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, yeah, yeah, baby. Baby Gates. And looks like, well, it's just a test. Like, I think she's more concerned about your lifestyle, you know, like, you have to prove to her you're not partying. You're not, like, doing extracurricular with ra. Random girls up here. It's like, I would never come up with you with a girl. Like, what, what, what, what, what? With him, like, and I expect the same from her. Like, what, Me, girls and him in the same room. Jacksono, like, goes to the playground with the baby just to hit on moms.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, he's that one. He's that one. So Luke's like, by the way, so it seems like you've got some sort of problem with Danny. Like, what's your problem? Just between you, like, what's. What's going on? Like, where. Where'd this come from? And Jack's like, yeah, well, I missed half the season, so I need to pick. So I've decided Danny is the easy, easy target, you know? I mean, in my opinion, I'm allowed to have my opinion. I mean, Nia called me. No joke. Not an exaggeration. Literally, I don't even know what you're going to say, I already know. It's an exaggeration. She's called me at least five times, screaming and yelling, throwing things. She lit her house on fire, she was so mad. No exaggeration. Saying, you know, because, oh, your husband is drunk and can't even walk out of the bar because I've called her and told her that. And so she comes in, it's like, danny, I told you not to act like that's. Like, this is how we know that Jax is lying. Because Nia would never say, danny, I told you not to act like this. She would say, daniel, don't do that. Daniel. Shh.

[Ben Mandelker]

Daniel, protect your peas. Daniel, where's your peas? Hey, bartender, can I please have an order of Daniel's piece? Daniel, shoot this. Shoot it, Daniel. So, yeah, he's going. He's ranting and raving and he's like, I can't have him over here because I have alcohol. He can't be around alcohol. He's an alcoholic. My partner said to drag him out. They had to drag him out of the bar. He's just so, so drunk, you know, and he's like, yeah, you know, and then, like, he's. He's feeling girls up in my bar. I mean, at my bar, feeling girls up. And my first.

[Ronnie Karam]

Why the bar is there? Isn't the bar there for you and your friends to feel up girls?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like the poorest version of Epstein's plane. That. That bar, it's just like a place for Jax to fill, to feel Jackson, his old weird friends who are now going to follow him around, I guess, for every scene, to feel up like young, new girls, like star struck in la, you know.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, I do believe that. That Danny was kicked out of that bar, but I don't think Jack needs to be the messenger of this. I think Jax is just in no place to suddenly take a moral high ground about this at all. So Jason's like. I mean, I think that, like, part of what Jack. What's getting Jack's worked up about Danny is the fact that Jax has made mistakes. And when he makes mistakes, those mistakes are discussed amongst the entire group. And, like, meanwhile, Danny makes mistakes and if anyone calls them out, it gets. They get attacked, especially if, you know, call them out for sexual assault. So it's understandable, though, why he'd be frustrated.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, yeah, Jason, nobody's called Danny out. You guys have made sure that Danny is called out in every single episode. And now look, he's using Janet coded language. He's like, you get attacked. You get attacked if you even call one person out.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. I mean, look, Danny is no angel. And I do think that he has gotten a very friendly edit because despite everything, everyone's really still on his side. But, like, I think. I still think there's plenty more bottom to follow.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think he's gotten an edit that's shown him showing up and apologizing, which is something that we don't really see from Jax ever. And he does apologize times. They've dragged him across the cold for this. Multiple times. He's apologized multiple times.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, he's gotten a friendly edit. I think he's gotten a friendly edit in this sense. Yes, he's apologized. But they could have really edited this season to be like, we're all concerned about Danny, what's going on with Dan. They could have really made him look like he had a big, big, big, big, big problem. And they. They did not focus on that. And that's okay. I mean, maybe that also wasn't there to focus on. But, like, I think that. I think Danny. I mean, Danny clearly has stuff going on. Like he got thrown at the bar. Even if it was Jax, he got there in the U.P. his cast members. Like, he's sneaking drinks in on camera. Like, he made comments about, like, the. These girls I got we just for blonde. I mean, it's like, all right, but.

[Ben Mandelker]

There are such worse things he did that no one heard him do that well.

[Ronnie Karam]

But either way, I still could have. It could have been a whole.

[Ben Mandelker]

At it. They're. They're full of. With Danny, this whole thing. They did do. The whole thing that you're talking about where they're like, danny has a problem. You guys would have. Danny is. They've been doing it the whole season. It's been all edited in there. The only difference handled it well. And he's apologizing with a therapy over it. I mean, for Christ's sake, that's something you don't see from Jax.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, he'd handled it better than Jax for sure. But, like, I. I still think it was. It was. It was. I'm not saying it was covered up, and I'm not saying it was minimized. I'm just saying I think the focus of the show is on. They've got bigger fish to fry. And I think that Danny, like, it's like other reality shows. Like, this would have been really, really front and center. Like, Danny's stuff would have been really front and center. And it hasn't been. So that's where I Think it's been friendly and that like literally been the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Only plotline this whole season. So I mean, I think it's been front center. I think the difference is you've got a cokehead who's abusive and threw a table at his wife to give her a black fucking leg and had to be dragged off by production to some mental facility who's still going off and attacking people and trying to get controls of the camera and sending abusive texts, rage texts, and stalking this woman on national TV and Jason sitting here supporting that. But they're all fine with making Danny sound like this fall down alcoholic who needs to be locked away. It's just so fucking hypocritical and gross. I mean, it's not Danny, of course Danny was disgusting for what he did. Getting wasted and filling up his friends like, that's horrible. But the guy apologized, he went to therapy. I just don't see, I just don't. I can't even.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm just saying I think that there's.

[Ben Mandelker]

More is disgusting because they're not even.

[Ronnie Karam]

I know, I'm just.

[Ben Mandelker]

They're not even bringing up Jax like, Jax is fine. They're like, get a camera and some baby gates, it'll be fine. But Danny, they're like, card him away, burn him at the stake, break his legs off.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm. And I just want to clarify, I'm not saying that Jax is like right on this. I'm just saying that like Danny, I definitely, I think that Danny, on another season where you didn't have someone as monstrous as Jax, I think Bravo sure as hell would have had like Danny would have been. It would have been even more centered. He would have been first seed at that reunion. I'm telling you, I think we have monsters like Jax. And Jax is. Jax knows he's the monster, which is why he's trying to push the attention onto Danny, by the way. So I'm not condoning anything Jax is saying. I'm just saying that like, I think Dan is pretty lucky, to be honest, because I think that like there are bigger boogeymen on this show, deservedly so. And while Jax may be trying to put it all back onto Danny, but it's like, no, Jax, you are really the problem here.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, but no one says that.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, no one does. That's what they say it in their confessional. They'll joke about it in their confessionals.

[Ben Mandelker]

But that's what puts it into like a hard, hard place to even talk about it because it's like, oh, standing up For Danny. It's not standing up for what Danny did. That's crazy. I would never do that. It's just this show makes you so crazy because it lets Jax come in and gaslight everybody and the audience, and then the cast just stands around and says nothing. Nobody says anything except maybe, step away, Jax. You know, Kristen steps in and step away at least, but geez.

[Ronnie Karam]

But I also would have liked, honestly, jumping forward to that moment. I would have liked Kristen to have come with. Come at Jax the way she came at Janet. I felt like that. Like she. Like she was when. When Janet was hurling out accusations in Hawaii, Kristen was like, fiery. She was like, absolutely not. But when Jax did it, she was like, okay, step away. She was almost, like, considerate, like, you've had too much. You're being too angry right now. And I'm like, kristen, you should look into Jax the same way, too.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, well, like, Jack differently than you treat, you know, well, she shouldn't be friends, you know, people that you hate and that are, like, trying to, like, come after you for two years in a row.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, well, I don't think. I think that speaks to another flaw, which is that, like, she should also. She should be divorcing Jax the way she divorced Janet, too, if you ask me personally.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Well. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So anyway, so they're just. Jax is on this ridiculous terror about. About Danny and everything, and Luke is saying that Danny hasn't had a drink in three weeks and didn't drink at all in Hawaii. And Schwartz is like, well, because Jack's like, well, I don't believe that. Short's like, well, you know what he's putting in the work. You know? Do you understand that concept? Jax is like, I don't understand what that means to put in the work. I only understand symbolic gestures. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Jack's like, yeah, you believe. You believe that? And he's like, absolutely. And they're like, why wouldn't you believe it, Jack? He's like, I'm allowed to have my opinion. I'm allowed to have my opinion. What the. I'm not allowed to have my opinion.

[Ronnie Karam]

So, you know, we had. We see a flashback to Luke and Danny at lunch because Luke says that, you know, Danny knows that the. The guys also had some beers in Jackson's B or someone's backyard a few days ago. And, you know, Danny wasn't invited. And so we see a flashback to Luke talking with Danny, and he's like, hey, I noticed you didn't drink in Hawaii. He's like, yeah, I haven't had. I haven't drank in a few weeks. I mean, it's been four weeks. Under four. Four sobriety moments. I haven't really worked that one out yet, but I'm still working on that phrase. Let me use this downtime to really come up with a good, good zinger there.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they're like, why aren't you including him? And he's like, okay, okay, okay. Because we see another guy's dinner where Danny wasn't included, and they were like, hey, where's Danny? And Jack's like, probably drinking somewhere. I'm probably drinking somewhere. And so Jax is like, yeah, you know what? Like, we all up. But, you know, like, I tell you, got to take accountability. Like me, you know, like, don't preach on to others like, when you're doing it. Okay, like, he's preaching to me, but, like, he's just as bad as me. No. No one. His wife has not shown up anywhere with bruises.

[Ronnie Karam]

Jax has literally taken no accountability that's been sincere. He has. Jax is the master of figuring out what is the right thing to say. But we've seen his actions do not take any accountability. The rage texting negates any sort of progress he claims he made. Like, that was his. That was his biggest mistake to all this. You know, he's usually pretty slick about being able to, like, win people back, but like, Britain. Well, Brittany exposed him because she's protected him for a long time. But the fact that he was raised testing her through all of his quote, unquote therapy in this whatever rehab. It was at the Denny's. I'm so sorry. Like, you have not had any healing and everything you've said since then has still been about, like, but what about me? Why is. Why. Why don't. Why is it so bad for me? Because I do think that, like, there's actually a shred of truth to what Jason said, which is that Jax, you know, all his. Gets discussed. Every time he does something wrong, it gets discussed and torn apart by everyone, whereas Danny doesn't. But there's a reason for that. And the reason is that, like, Jax has been doing this for so long. This is basically Danny's first time at the rodeo. Jax has been wronging people for a decade. Over a decade on this show alone. As. As opposed to everything that' beyond that and Jax proof that he's not taking accountability is the fact that he can't just sit and allow people to tear apart the. That he did. He has to then deflect onto someone Like Danny instead. So it just shows he's not healed at all. I mean, I don't know why I'm trying to litigate this point when it's like literally the most obvious point in all of the, like, all of, all of like humanity right now that Jackson's not taking its accountability.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So then we go to Jesse's and he's wearing his hat that says Lolly Estates. I love all the hats on this show for businesses that are like soon to be defunct. Yeah. So Jesse puts his dog Malibu in Isabella's bed. And he's like, God, dog, might as well sleep in Isabella's bed since Isabella's never here anymore. Now Jesse, this is only a two year reality star. And you gotta hand it to Jesse, he knows how to play this game. I mean, he shows up in the last episode, he's like, I'm. You know what? Who called their wife a whore? Who. Who told everybody multiple times that his wife was a high priced hooker? Not this guy. This guy's crying. Guys, this guy's crying. Let's stand by for Jesse. Tears.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, those. No, I mean those narcissists, they really know how to do it. I mean, I wish Alexia were here to really say something to him because.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not a narcissist because I'm an empath.

[Ronnie Karam]

So we need to get her self help expert out there to be like the number one thing a narcissist does is talk about himself. There'll be $5,000 for that nugget of information.

[Ben Mandelker]

Someone just sent me a clip of this guy, the guy from the narcissist party on Real Houses of Miami. For those of you who don't watch, they had this big party for Narcissist and he was like the group leader of this party. And he's like, all right, everybody, let's talk narcissism. So someone sent me a clip of him hiking. And he goes, here, everybody, look here what I found. It's a little mail slot with a journal in it. And inside of the journal you've got many people writing things. So many languages here you've got English, Spanish, Chinese, Arabic. So many things. Now, of course, this shows that we're all from the same place. The end of the day, we fight about politics, but we're all people who just write in little books that we find while we're hiking. Now, I can't read the Chinese and the Arabic, but I'm guessing it's all very nice things. We're good people at heart. I was like, shut the up, bro. Like, the only reason I'm watching this is because you don't have your shirt on right now. Please never put your shirt on. And when you've got it off, don't talk. Okay. Speak with your chest.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, the hilarious part about that guy's Instagram is that it's all just close up images of his face and then like, then like an occasional shirtless photo and some quotes that he came up with himself. And he is trying to preach against narcissism when his Instagram is purely for self promotion and like only showing him and showing no other parts of his life except his face. Like, okay, sir, thanks for. Thanks for really like proving your point there.

[Ben Mandelker]

The anti narcissist who built an Instagram on his chest. Oh my goodness. This. This world. I can't.

[Ronnie Karam]

Commercials.

[Ben Mandelker]

Here comes one right now. It's your man, Nick Cannon. And I'm here to bring you my new podcast, Nick Cannon at Night. I've heard y' all been needing some advice in the love department department. So who better to help than yours truly? Nah, I'm serious. Every week I'm bringing out some of my celebrity friends and the best experts in the business to answer your most intimate relationship questions. Having problems with your man? We got you catching feelings for your sneaky link. Let's make sure it's the real deal first. Ready to bring toys into the bedroom? Let's talk about it. Consider this a non judgment zone to ask your questions when it comes to sex and mock modern dating in relationships, friendships, situationships and everything in between. It's gonna be sexy, freaky, messy. And you know what? You'll just have to watch the show. So don't be shy, join the conversation and head over to YouTube to watch Nick Cannon at night. Or subscribe on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast. Wanna watch episodes early and ad free? Join Wondery right now. Today is the worst day of Abby's life. The 17 year old cradles her newborn son in her arms. They all saw how much I loved him.

[Ronnie Karam]

They didn't have to take him from me.

[Ben Mandelker]

Between 1945 and the early 1970s, families shipped their pregnant teenage daughters to maternity homes and forced them to secretly place their babies for adoption in hidden corners across America.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's still happening. My parents had me locked up in the godparent home against my will. They worked with them to manipulate me and to steal my son away from me.

[Ben Mandelker]

The godparent home is the brainchild of controversial preacher Jerry Falwell, the father of the modern evangelical rite and the founder of Liberty University, where powerful men, emboldened by their faith, determine who gets to be a parent and who must give their child away. Follow Liberty Lost up the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. So Jesse's talking about how, you know, there was so much resolution in Hawaii, guys. And, you know, he. He talked to Michelle, and he said, michelle, look at me. Aaron told me last night that he. He said he was in love with you. And I said, I'm happy for you. So I'm a good person now. I'm a basically a good person now. Thank you. You. Thank you, everybody.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Come on over, Michelle. So Michelle comes over, and it's like, how you doing? I am okay. Okay, well, how did you feel about our trip together? She goes, well, I feel all right. I'm glad that you finally had the conversation with Aaron that you've been stressing about. Yeah. I really wanted to know how he's able to have that hairstyle without a big dent in the back. And he told me it's a product. I didn't know about this, but you can put stuff in your hair, just get rid of dents and little. Little recesses. So that was good to know about. I feel like my life has changed. Okay, well, now I can see a point one day where we can all hang out together. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, yeah, just chisel off a little bit of resentment, and I'll chisel off a little bit of irrationality, and then we can build on that foundation. Because I'm a good person now, Jesse Lolly. Good person. Thank you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, because he does this whole monologue where he's like, michelle, I just want you to know that my. My bro coach wrote me a little script, and here's how it goes. This divorce is not your fault. It's both of our faults, and mainly mine. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Stop doing Good Will Hunting to me again. How do you like these apples? Okay, I know what you're getting at here.

[Ben Mandelker]

How do you enjoy them apples? Jazzy? Jeez. He's like, we were both trying to one up each other, and I think whatever power I have, whatever power I have left, I. I'm crying. I give it to you. I give you my power to do with whatever you'd like. Say whatever you want. Because I'm just so tired of this, Michelle. I'm so tired of this calling You a whore and you getting mad I.

[Ronnie Karam]

Don'T care who's wrong or right I don't want to fight no more it's time for letting go okay, stop. Tina Turner. Ring me.

[Ben Mandelker]

We don't need another hero, Michelle. We don't need to know the way home Always shows one another the Thunderdome. Okay, you are going backwards, Desi.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm your private dancer. Dancer for money. I'll be who you want me to be. Please don't stop doing that. Please. No.

[Ben Mandelker]

In that case, now that you are a good person, I would like to invite you to my Zen party at Yamajiro Restaurant, the tourist drop of the hills.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, well, a Zen party. That sounds interesting. Yes. Zn Bardi. And then we see, like, kaleidoscoping stuff, which is funny, because that has nothing to do with Zen, I don't think, but whatever. And she's.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jesse's reaction is really funny because he's like, a Zen party? What's that? You the one who just tried to fix all of your problems by going to an ayahuasca retreat in the desert for three weeks? You should be a little bit more familiar with these tropes, Jess.

[Ronnie Karam]

We were the one who watched your life coach put his hand on everyone's chest and, like, what was that like? Release and catch. Catch and release. I don't know what they're that, like. You are New Age, okay? Don't act.

[Ben Mandelker]

Only people who understand men are men, bro.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, part of the manosphere. Okay? Joe Rogan is a king. So Michelle's like. She's just saying that. She just wants a Zen party. Just some Zen energy, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it's been a rough year for her. And he's like, well, should I wear my Ayahuasca beanie? And she's like, I threw it away because he lost it at the chateau, and it didn't turn up at the Lost Ground. And that they didn't cut to a picture of Rob Reiner wearing that ayahuasca beanie. I mean, what a waste. What a waste. In the editor's room, the fact that.

[Ronnie Karam]

This man wore that beanie to Chateau Marmont and had no shame about it. That was not lost. It was confiscated. I'm gonna say that right now, someone.

[Ben Mandelker]

There, Chateau, was like, listen, we host a lot of douchebags at this place, but even this is taking it too far, okay? We had Quentin Tarantino sucking on a hostess's toe last week while eating Captain Crunch out of the bag, okay? But this is too far.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, too far. So we go over to Brittany's house, and she's putting out new doors. I got a new doorbell, okay? It says the cart rides. Hey. I knew whenever I moved back into this house, I had to take Jackson.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bleed out of it, and I had.

[Ronnie Karam]

To make it my own because this is my house now. So you know what? He's kind of getting taken off the mortgage. He's gonna take it off the deed. He's getting taken off of everything except for. I don't know. I'm gonna keep this photo up. I don't keep this wall up. I'm doing all this. But whatever. If I want a guy to come over, they don't need to see Jack Sailor everywhere in my house.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay? I'm. You know. Look, Britney, it's so hard for me to believe that Brittany's not a moron, but did she just really take over this mortgage that has $1.2 million of Jax Taylor debt on it? How stupid are you? Like, what. Why would you do that? That sounds idiotic. Is there something I'm missing where he paid off, like, the $1.2 million that added to that house? Because it sounds like she just took on all of his debt yet. So I'm not sure how judgy I should be over that, because I don't know all the facts, but from where I'm sitting, this isn't the brightest move. Okay. What are you doing?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I wish I. I remember when she walked in, she put down that. That mat, and then she walked in, and in her foyer, she had some sort of generic wall art up. And I was going to write it down, and I forgot, and I wish I had, because this was. It was so Brittany. It said something like, foyer. It was like, foyer. Welcome to the foyer where the four years happened. I was like, why did you buy this piece of wall art? Why?

[Ben Mandelker]

So Kristen comes and they talk about Kristen going to her appointment, about birthing, you know, about having a baby. And basically they took Luke's sperm and Luke, you know, which. I feel like it's like this with a lot of normal guys from normal places without crap in their water. I mean, I don't know. But his sperm, he's got like 97 trillion sperm that are all like, yeah, they've all got little beards. They're like, ye, we know how to fix engines. But Kristen, when she got her results back, she just got all these prescriptions for shit. And everything came with fertility warnings. Like, you know, this doesn't cover infertility. Your Insurance doesn't cover infertility. And so she's struggling with seeing the word infertile because she's being technically considered infertile because she hasn't been able to conceive in over a year. But she's not. They haven't told her she's infertile, but she's technically considered that. And so she's dealing with the terminology of it and she's worried that she's not going to have a baby. I'm worried that I'm gonna sneeze on camera, which I just did. But hopefully, I mean, thankfully it worked out better for Kristen than me. And it's just sad. You know, she's freaking out about the baby. Thankfully, we know now that she had one, so it all worked out. But yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Which is what actually is. Actually makes these scenes which should be kind of actually very sad. Are. It's like, they're really like nice scenes because we know that there's a happy ending. But you. You do feel for her and it's a. A she. It's a very real journey that she's on. I'm obviously, I'm not saying like, oh, that there's any question that this is faked. I'm just saying that like I'm. I feel like that's probably very relatable to a lot of people. And I, I really, I really appreciate her emotional honesty in these scenes. But it all works out. So that's great. So then we go over to a restaurant called Norma, which is a place a where you can go to pretend like you're going to staff yachts but eat food in the process. And Benji and Zach are on a date. And I'm so mad at this restaurant because they're like, we're gonna see two in the lounge and they seat them like in my nightmare thing. Like chairs with like a low, like cat. Not even like shin high coffee table. No one wants to eat their whole meal off a table like that. This place should rot in hell. Rotten hell. Normal.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're not the first person to see that.

[Ronnie Karam]

So.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And Zach's like, oh my God. They gave us menus even though we already know what we want because we look online. Hilarious. That is hilarious. Did you guys get that in play that don't make me say any of you got a clean tank.

[Ronnie Karam]

I love that. I was like, I love that these two, like looked at the menu beforehand and already chose their food. They're like, we are not gonna be slow on camera. Okay. It's very rare. That I get my own scene, so we're not going to waste it with ordering. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love their waiter, too. He's like, hi, do you guys want to order something? He's like, yeah, we're going to have a porn star. That sounds delicious. And then Ben's going to have the Dirty Dancing. And he's like, oh, my God, you guys are meant to be together. Did you guys get that? That on camera, you need another take.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's probably one of their friends, let's be honest. So Zach is like, so now it's been like three weeks since you moved in with me. How are you feeling? And Benji's like, well, aside from the fact that the bottoms of my feet are permanently black because of all the you leave on the floor, I'm having a great time. Just. I just don't look at my feet anymore. Just get used to it. It's just. I guess part of it's like, it's.

[Ben Mandelker]

So nice to officially be here in your dirty house, missing my husband locally instead of missing him internationally. So that's been really good. Zach's like, well, it's just the beginning. Like, we're gonna go through next hurdles, you know, like the thing on my birthday. Wedding ring. Wedding ring. Oh, my God, it's so great. The Canadian court just deleted your divorce. They just deleted it. And he's like, yeah. And she's all bummed, and he's like, oh, my God, that's a great birthday present for me. It's happening on my birthday. Your divorce is being deleted on my birthday. It's amazing. We can get married now. Benji's like, yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. Really?

[Ben Mandelker]

This is really sad. Benji says, you know, because with my ex, he was the one who wanted the divorce. I didn't want it. I was really in love with him. Then after a year and a half past, you were still there, so I don't know. Here we are. Porn star martinis. Am I right? Yeah. This is great. Wow.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, you've been a really great rebound, Zach. Oh, my God. I feel like that was. I think what you meant to say is we're gonna be a forever couple. But sure, yeah. Out with the old, in with the new. Am I right? So he's like, babe, I have a surprise for you. I got str talks. He's like, oh, I got for. I got excited for a moment because I thought you said you got Clorox for your floors, but you didn't know. Okay, well, sure. Okay. Scrotox. Great.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, that's. That's Botox for your scrotum. It's hilarious because it happened, like, six weeks ago and the audience has already been in love with the storyline. You're just finding out even though you have access to my scrotum throats.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's like, oh, are you serious? You haven't even said one thing. It really hurt my feelings. Did you notice no wrinkles down there? Felt like a baby's bottom, but it was my ball. Why would you do that?

[Ben Mandelker]

3 11th on my nuts and you didn't even say anything, Dungey, I got notification from Canada that they were proud of me before you even noticed.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's like, aren't you so excited that my ball sack no longer looks like the monster energy drink logo?

[Ben Mandelker]

I wish it looked like my ex's nut sack. Damn it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Damn it, Benzie.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now they start talking about Janet and he's like, oh, my God. Like, she walked away after our showdown. I'm surprised she didn't jump off that boat to get away because that's like the only way. And Benji's like, well, she probably wanted to toss you off the boat.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's probably like, jason, Jason, toss him off. Oh, wait, that sounds sexual. Let's not some off. Would you like to toss me off my screw talks balls? Just wondering. Also, it was like the most annoying thing that Britney can't see what Janet's doing. Ah, yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

She just wants to, like, brush it off and I'm sick of it. I'm gonna stand up to Brittany now. You know, like, Brittany, Johnny has treated me bad in the past and escalated things like me never say, like, acting like I would say horrible, horrible things. Cut to Zach at the end being like, you dumb. I hope you die in your fire. Stupid orange.

[Ronnie Karam]

What Zach is like, basically what he's saying is, I am so mad that Britney didn't defend me when Kristen was yelling at Janet. It's like, she didn't have to when. When Janet was saying those things about Danny. How come Britney didn't stand up for me?

[Ben Mandelker]

He's decided this is going to be his big fight in the season finale and he's going to shoehorn it in there. No matter what it takes, it's going to work.

[Ronnie Karam]

Somehow I had to sit at a low table table, and you didn't even defend me for the waiter.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Terrifying.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they decide he's gonna confront her. And Zach's like, yeah, you've got some caviar on your lap. I'm just waiting for you to say that I'm gallant and amazing. So you can say that now. And he's like, you're amazing. Can I use your phone? I really want to call my ex husband.

[Ronnie Karam]

And by the way, the caviar is meant to stay on the lips. That way when I taste your smooth balls, they taste a little bit better. So now everyone is doing stuff around town. Everyone's doing things. Michelle is. She's getting really excited for the Zen party. Hey, Aaron, look at my two piece outfit for the ZN party. And then we go to Jesse's house and he's like laying on the bed internally crying over Isabela and getting ready for the last hurrah this summer. And then. But he does have Isabella this time. And he's like, are you ready, Isabella? Are you ready for the last hurrah? She's like, last hurrah. And he starts to cry.

[Ben Mandelker]

So we go to Danny and Nia's and she's like, I have to get ready. Daniel, will you look after the kids while I do it? He's like, sure, I'll take care of all three of these kids while you get glammed up, sir. That's not going to come up again today. Three under three. Three under three. So we go over to Brock and Janet. Janet's getting her makeup done, but Sheena. And so Brock's all, you look a drink. Janet, from my coke. We're getting over that cheating storyline, Brock. Okay, could you please not right now?

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh my God. I just thought I saw a Rubik's cube. It was a sugar cube. I almost had trauma.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Janice, like, I'm not gonna drink because I can't be wasted around certain people because I will yell at them. And Brock's like, you're not gonna let certain people affect how you operate in life, are ya? Maybe you should not let certain people at gyms affect how you operate in your life, sir. Keep in your pants, you piece of Brock. And I wish that somebody would yell at Brock for cheating, but I guess we don't get that until Sheena is hired full time.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, no, that's. Yeah, that'll be next season. That was her. I feel like that chapter reveal was kind of her way to say, hey, Bravo, would you like to talk? What? Would you like me to talk about this on next season of the Valley?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now we go over to Yamashiro. And what I love about this season finale scene is that everyone has to walk through a sea of tourists to get to their like, roped off like Bravo shooting zone. I don't know if you notice every one of them is like walking through all glamorous in their zen. And you just see people just in, like, fanny packs and T shirts, sitting at high tops looking out.

[Ben Mandelker]

That is Yamashiro.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's like going to Republic Bar and Grill or whatever club in Charleston with, like, the hottest club in Charleston is Republic. And then you just see people in I'm in Bahama and flip flops lined up outside.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And it's. It was weird because Michelle's like, yes. Growing up, we always game to Yamajiro. And my mother would dig our nice big jersey here. I thought that was so cute. It's like, guys, let's go to that horse statue outside of the mall. It's just such a fancy place to take pictures.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, Yamashiro is nice. It's like, it's gorgeous.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, that's why it's still there, because it's so beautiful. I mean, it's on the top of the hill. You see the whole city. It is a beautiful, stunning location, but it is some shit food and it's really expensive.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And it's also, by the way, not in the Valley. They're doing their season finale not in the Valley, which I think is great. The Bravo's like, we. We put our time in where. Just please let us have one scene that's on the other side of the hill, please.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, Jesse and Michelle have always been very consistent with their brand being not the Valley. They're like, no, we're not Valley people. We will not play this game with you. Feel. Okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

I think it should have been in the Valley because that's thematically appropriate. And if they can't be in Yamashiro because they're in the Valley, they could have it at like the. They should have had it at the Benihana where Tori Spelling fell on the flat top. Be like.

[Ben Mandelker]

That would have made more sense. Do some Encino. If you're gonna get fancy, go to the Encino Beniana where.

[Ronnie Karam]

Where she like, add an element of danger. Yeah, add an element of danger. That at this. If this. If this scene gets physical, someone could burn their arm, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So people start arriving. Brock has bleached hair. It's a big thing. And Michelle has a big announcement. She's like, everybody, welcome to Yamajiro where I game do take a baby biggers every year. I love everybody. And I also love grizzles. They are very important to me. And Aaron's just next to her. Like, Crystal is super important to me too. So, again, so I got you all a grizzle. And it has very personalized messages like look both ways before you cross the street Britney. Or don't dip babies in bougie's dressing Britney. I'm sorry, it was one time.

[Ronnie Karam]

How long were watching. So, so then Michelle's like, okay, everyone, if Jesse and I can get along, then I think think everyone can get along here. Hot. Yeah. Which is funny because they wind up fighting by the end of the episode.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Jax is like, I don't believe any of this. I don't believe in stars. I don't believe in astrology. I don't believe in reading palms. I don't believe any of that. It's all garbage. I don't really think anything can heal this group completely, to be honest. Like, well, thanks. Yeah, I, I, I, I would maybe be open to it, but. But yeah, I mean, I don't think any of this stuff can. If none of this stuff has repelled Jax at this point, then maybe he has. Maybe he has a point. None of this stuff really does work.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's just so weird to see Jack so angry at a place who's getting free crystal. Hello there. This is a two part recap. Okay, this the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

[Ronnie Karam]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice and King it's always a party on Allison Block.

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ronnie Karam]

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Neal don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have have a meal without the Emily sides Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs it's our queen It's.

[Ronnie Karam]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Incredible edible Matthew sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud she's.

[Ronnie Karam]

The queen bee It's Sarah Lemke we.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cannot tell a lie It's Sarah tell.

[Ronnie Karam]

Of son Shannon out of a canon Anthony, please don't stop at solely and pop let's take off with Tamla playing.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo she ain't no shrinking violet Cootar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.

[Ronnie Karam]

Being an actual royal is never about finding your happy ending. But the worst part is if they.

[Ben Mandelker]

Step out of line or fall in.

[Ronnie Karam]

Love with the wrong person, it changes the course of history. I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I'm Brooke Zifrin.

[Ronnie Karam]

We've been telling the stories of the rich and famous on the hit Wondery show, Even the Rich and talking about the latest celebrity news on Rich and Daily. We're going all over the world on our new show, Even the Royals.

[Ben Mandelker]

We'll be diving headfirst into the lives.

[Ronnie Karam]

Of the world's kings, queens and all the wannabes in their orbit throughout history.

[Ben Mandelker]

Think succession meets the crown meets real life. We're going to pull back the gilded.

[Ronnie Karam]

Curtain and show how royal status might be bright and shiny, but it comes at the expense of, well, everything else, like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head. Follow even the royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your your podcasts.

[Ben Mandelker]

You can listen to even the royals early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.