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Ben Mandelker
How could you not be a member.
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Ben Mandelker
Guess what happens when there's so much.
Karamo Brown
That happens.
Ben Mandelker
Hello and welcome to Watch what crap Ins a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is Mr. Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie, how are you? Time.
Ronnie Karam
What a special time in life, Ronnie.
Ben Mandelker
I hope you are enjoying this episode because in a little bit later I'm going to put all of our text messages on screens behind me and you will be humiliated.
Ronnie Karam
Dare your ass to do it as well.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. No one in our texts, no one is safe. We are talking about Real Housewives of Miami today. And before we get into that, first of all, thanks to everyone who came over and watched us on Amazon Live. We're doing it again this Monday. We're actually doing double duty. There'll be an Amazon live and there'll be a crappy hour. So lots of live time with Ben and Ronnie. I can't wait for that. It's gonna be so much. We had so much like we literally had so much fun hawking sheet pans and. And regular pans and other things. Coffee items that like. It was a blast. Come join us for the next one. Also patreon.com watch for crappings is where you can watch us not just listen with Crap is on demand. We also do bonus episodes. We'll have a bony up next week. Ryan and I are going on a little little baby trip this weekend and maybe we'll have some reports from there. You never know. And I think that's basically all there.
Ronnie Karam
We're going a little Vegas vacay. We're gonna have some fun. We'll try and record while we're there for our next bonus ep Episode we'd love a little out of town bonus.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Going back to Vega Vegas. Well, Vega. We were making a Vega Vega.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Super excited for that. And also, the Amazon Live is going to be at 4pm Pacific Time. Okay. So it's going to be this Monday and the following Monday. So join us for that. Also, what was I going to say? Also, I'm still wearing my douchebag glasses because I did get my eyes done and I'm still punched in the face. I don't know how long these bruises are going to take to go away, but I'm sick of walking around like this.
Ben Mandelker
It's very exciting. Well, you're. You're mainly. You're mainly healed. I don't know. I think you're. I think you're being your own worst critic right now.
Ronnie Karam
Bruised. I'll show you. I just don't want to do it for the whole time. See, I'm still like, bruised. And also I have bruises under here where I didn't get any eyewear, which I don't really understand like, like down here. But, you know, happy with the results. Hello. Look at these gorgeous peepers.
Ben Mandelker
Ooh.
Ronnie Karam
So anyway, I'm just hiding the bruises for a little bit, but.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, well, you know, you just have.
Ronnie Karam
To tell people because then if you don't, they only watch this, not the other ones are going to be like, what, the douchebag? Or I'm just regular flavor douchebag. I'm not usually glasses. Plus my regular douchebag personality.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, well, today we are talking Miami. As I mentioned, this is episode season seven. Episode seven. It's called Textual Tension and a real good humdinger of a Miami episode. This season is so good. This cast is so good. I was cringing so hard during this. People are mad on the Internet, which is always fun, always good. When a show can get people on Twitter angry. They're. Everyone's really angry at Julia. Well, actually, they're angry at the cast.
Ronnie Karam
Julia. What? Mad at Julia?
Ben Mandelker
People. Well, people are. No, people are mad at the cast because it's like Julia threw a whole ass glass of water on Jewel on. On Gertie, and the cast just stood there. But then when Gertie does her thing, the cast walks out and it's like, I'm morally.
Ronnie Karam
Especially Marisol. Like, really, of all people. Mary, I'm leaving. I'm morally opposed to this. Oh, really? Aren't you the lady who has people followed by private eyes and etc. Etc. I mean, I don't have time to, like, Even list all of Marisol's crimes on this show over the years.
Ben Mandelker
I think that what we are learning, or what we probably have already learned is that when it comes to things like throwing glasses, flipping tables, things like that, physical elements, people are pretty. I'm gonna say they're chill, but they're used to it. They just sort of sit there and they react or whatever, but they don't really. It doesn't really make them want to leave. They're just like, oh, okay, well, we're gonna be in the trailer. But when it comes to, like, infractions of private, off screen stuff, that's when they really get themselves all, you know, in a tizzy. I mean, just look at last week's episode about Katie and the recording of Shannon Bedor without her, you know, didn't know the recording was even happening. I mean, like, they are. They lose their minds. Because so much I think of being a celebrity is like, you know, I am coming here and I'm presenting a version of myself, and what I choose not to put on camera is, like, sacrosanct to me. Sacrosanct. It's. But like. And so, like, when someone violates that, that's like. Like, you can pour all the drinks on me you want. But like, the moment that you show people that I sent, like, a smile emoji in a private text message is like. Privacy is like the. Is the final frontier of decency when it comes to, like, a real Housewife, it turns out.
Ronnie Karam
I mean. I mean. Yes, but they share their texts all the time. They literally. We've seen so many episodes where people.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, with consent.
Ronnie Karam
Lisa Vanderpump showing up with poster boards or whatever when she had. Can print out in, like, very large. Remember, she had. Can print out in very large things the text that she had shared with Lisa, Rinna or whoever. It was about all the Lucy. Lucy Apple Juicy. Oh, no. It was. Was it the. Who were those texts from? Don't you remember that? That was very out. The texts. We've seen fights over texts and printed texts and what people are saying in text forever. I don't understand how everybody's making this a huge thing now. Give me a break now. Yeah, I don't think it really helped Gertie's case because the text proved nothing, but whatever.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, I was sad to see. It was hilarious to watch, but I'm like, I didn't like Gertie seating the high ground, but. But that being said, wow, it was hilarious.
Ronnie Karam
This is Real Housewives of Miami. There's, like, literally no high ground. And there was nothing in those texts. It was like, oh, I'm cheating on my wife. There was nothing like that. It was like, she.
Carmen Carrera
She says she begged me to come to a thing, and she didn't beg me. That's what I proved.
Ronnie Karam
And, I mean, she never really said that. You begged her to go anyway. Yeah, but also, the whole thing was just so silly. I loved it.
Ben Mandelker
Gertie also showed Kenya Moore how to do a proper public stunt, which is, you know, you gather your friends for what's supposed to be an uplifting event, and then you actually air stuff out, but you don't get yourself fired in the process. You don't cross any true moral lines. Like, this is what. This is what Kenya should have done. Something like this. Gertie. Gertie did a thing where you appall your cast, but you still have your job afterwards.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, she did it. Right? I mean, listen, I loved it. I thought it was great. So let's start. We'll do like Miami does two hours ago, before Ben and Ronnie ended this recap. Here we go. Textual tension. Julie and Martina arriving at their farm. They've brought home their little boys or new little adopted boys, which I guess are not adopted yet. I think to this day, they're still not adopted. I don't know what's going on over there.
Ben Mandelker
Don't know. Don't care. Just know that they have some children living in their house with them, and that's all. That's all that I. The technicalities are not something I am going to personally look up, because I don't care about the. I'm not saying you can't get. I'm just saying I don't. You know, I'm like, whatever about the adoption status.
Ronnie Karam
I mean, I care, because. Are you allowed to just bring children on that you're not adopted yet? Like, did they get. Do they get paid? Are they. Do they sign waivers? Like, how does that work? I don't. I didn't know you're allowed to just shoot random children. I mean, well, maybe I'll have a show where I'm a parent and just get some kids off the street and be like, hey, you want to be on TV today? You're playing my kids.
Ben Mandelker
I just like that. Like, originally, like, three episodes ago, it's.
Gertie
Like, we are keeping them off camera because it is sacred.
Ben Mandelker
Then last episode, it's, well, we are having.
Gertie
No one can come over because they see strangers and they are traumatized and they don't want to move or talk or anything like that.
Ben Mandelker
Like, we want to protect the. Because when they see strangers, it's triggering to them. And then this episode, they're like, okay, we'll show the kids and we are going to show them the craziest faced ladies that they'll ever see. Do you want to see some real life Dr. Seuss renderings? Here we go.
Ronnie Karam
If there was any trauma in these kids lives previously before they found these parents, it is about to be completely erased in their minds by the new trauma they're about to face. With these faces.
Ben Mandelker
The Lenny Hochstein fighting.
Ronnie Karam
Because you know those, those, these ladies are. These are the Miami ladies. They will start fights with these children. They'll be like, what did you say to me? What did you say? Did you hear what he said to me in front of Frankie? Did you?
Ben Mandelker
So we meet Luca and Jackson. So cute.
Ronnie Karam
Why would you bring a baby onto Bravo and name it Jax? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you guys have the channel that you're on? Like, do you subscribe to this channel? What terrible juju for a child.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, that's. That's bad. So Julia's sort of showing them off and then they're like walking around this farm and Martina is holding the kids and it's all. It's all very cute. The kids are getting a nice farm life. And then Julia's like, how do we smile?
Gertie
Mama has big smile. Can we do smile or leave a smile?
Ben Mandelker
And then the kids smile and. Or at least one of them smiles. And he was one of those smiles.
Ronnie Karam
And the other sticks his tongue out at the camera. That's probably the Jacks. He's like, no, I won't smile. Be a little butthead. They're so cute, by the way, these kids.
Ben Mandelker
They're adorable little kids.
Ronnie Karam
And who else is cute, man? Who know who didn't get any credit in this episode? The cow there was like a little cow and it came running up.
Larsa Pippen
It was so cute.
Ronnie Karam
I want a cow. Is it too late?
Ben Mandelker
The goat on the leash. The goat on the leash was adorable. Martina and Julia are. They seem like they're actually very lovely parents. They're being very warm. And even Martina, you know, it's funny because it seemed like Martina had no interest in children. She loves, like a sleek, modern home. That does not seem kid friendly at all. But she seems actually quite, quite warm with the kids. And Julia's like, oh, Martina is acting.
Gertie
20 years younger and she has so much energy. Look at, she's jumping around. She's tweeting. Even more about surrogates being terrible. I mean, God, she has so much love to give.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And Martina is like, oh, this is a chicken coop. Look, this is where eggs come from. This is where eggs come from. And she's like, yes, this is where egg come from.
Larsa Pippen
Not supermarket. Do not break egg. Whatever you do, do not break egg. We will kill you if you break egg.
Ronnie Karam
He's like, oomp.
Larsa Pippen
You broke egg.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Larsa Pippen
Oh, well, we let dog eat egg. We let the goat eat egg.
Ben Mandelker
Let me tell you something, Julia. Martina, just gonna put this out here. Don't give your toddler an egg. It's just not. It's not gonna last. Like, that's just. It's too soon. Too soon. Give them something soft and plushy.
Ronnie Karam
They need some time. Yeah. Speaking of soft and plushy, here comes Adriana. She's like, hello, I dress like school kid crayons, so they would like me.
Larsa Pippen
Okay.
Ronnie Karam
Am I okay to get close to them?
Larsa Pippen
Is it okay if I get close to them?
Ronnie Karam
I have French call boy in the car. Do they want to meet? Do they want to meet him?
Ben Mandelker
Want to meet? Want to meet?
Ronnie Karam
You want to meet?
Ben Mandelker
We have sex seven times. So Martina, they're like, oh, this is Adriana. And so one of the kids is there, and then she's like, where's the other one?
Gertie
Julia goes, he is walking goat. Unleash.
Ben Mandelker
And then we see this kid is walking a goat on a leash. And he's. I think it's the younger one too. It's like the one year old is walking a goat on a leash. And it was actually so cute. I was like, wow, I am impressed. I feel like a one year old walking a goat that's a tall. I feel like at that point the goat's walking the one year old, but whatever. The two of them together, I was like, okay, my heart is melting a little bit.
Ronnie Karam
Well, I was impressed with the goat because goats will not be leashed. Okay? Goats are those animals. Fafo. That's what I will say about goats. Fafo. Okay. You know about my aunt's goat, Habibi, who charges me every time it sees me. And any version of habibi, there's been many versions over the years. And whenever she gets a new damn goat, she names a habibi. And every time my cousins push me into his little pen and. And he charges me every time and comes at me with those satanic little eyes. So I was really impressed to see a non habibi goat. I'm wondering if it's my Aunt who makes her goat so evil. I just always figured it was in their nature, but maybe she.
Ben Mandelker
Well, goats aren't goats. Like, don't they represent the devil?
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, but, you know, so does my aunt sometimes. Like, she's scary. She. She ran the bowling alley. She was, like, the property manager, and she wore, like, polyester suits and had, like, a big crazy afro and glasses like mine. Maybe that's why I like these glasses. And she would walk around with, like, the big chain of keys on her key ring. And she was the habibi owner. And I'm wondering if she ever just trained habibi to come for people, maybe. Are goats a lesbian thing, by the way? Because Josie is a lesbian, and these ladies are lesbians, and they all have goats.
Ben Mandelker
Well, there was a season of the Amazing Race where two gay guys won and they had a goat farm. So maybe it's just a. Maybe it's just an LGBTQIA plus thing. Maybe it is.
Ronnie Karam
Maybe I should get a goat. Maybe I should get over my trauma by getting a goat that doesn't charge me.
Ben Mandelker
Maybe all this time, the reason why goats are associated with the devil is because it was homophobes who pushed that narrative, when actually goats are really just a gay thing. Maybe gays love goats. Yeah, gays love goats.
Ronnie Karam
You heard it here first, everybody, so. Well, actually, no, you shouldn't say that, because I remember growing up really religious, and my. I remember someone in the church saying, well, if you. You allow gays to be with each other, then who's to stop a man from marrying a goat? That was always the thing. So maybe don't. Don't say gays love goats because they'll take that. Like, see, I told you. Now he wants to marry a goat.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, and they did do goat yoga on that first episode of King's Court. So it was like.
Ronnie Karam
It has gay in it, minus the Y.
Ben Mandelker
Well, the Y is just in a different place.
Ronnie Karam
That's true.
Ben Mandelker
If you. If yoga. And I am scramble. Yoga. Yoga.
Karamo Brown
Change.
Ben Mandelker
That changes to a gay. Okay, look, it's a gay. Just move the Y to the back.
Ronnie Karam
So now Alexia comes, and Julia is.
Larsa Pippen
Like, oh, look at this boy. So strong, carrying egg.
Ben Mandelker
He.
Larsa Pippen
We're going to make omelette with egg.
Ronnie Karam
And he drops the egg. And so they let Lulu eat the egg. I don't know who Lulu is. I'm assuming it's the dog. I hope it's not. I hope so They've got hanging around. It's like the child that no one likes, like, Lulu eat Egg.
Larsa Pippen
Stupid child. No, Jack's not you. We love you. Lulu is the one we don't like. Lulu is the Christie of this.
Ronnie Karam
What's the tennis player's name that Martina hates?
Ben Mandelker
Steffi Graff or Lulu is the Steffi.
Larsa Pippen
Graph of this household.
Ben Mandelker
No, Chris. Chris.
Ronnie Karam
Kris Jenner.
Ben Mandelker
No, she probably hates Kris Jenner, too. Chris Everett.
Ronnie Karam
Chris Everett. Yeah.
Gertie
Lulu is Chris Everett. Stepping Laugh.
Ben Mandelker
Of God. So.
Ronnie Karam
So they're cool about the egg being dropped, which is nice. And then that wouldn't happen.
Ben Mandelker
We've been talking about this egg. We've been talking about this egg for 15 minutes.
Ronnie Karam
I just want to say no scene. This is like a new gay family. We have to judge every moment that passes. So the kid gets some apple juice, which, I don't know if you should, like, reward your child for dropping an egg. Right. I think you should say, it's okay.
Larsa Pippen
We want to beat you for dropping egg, but no apple juice for a week.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. I mean, you never know. This may be where the youth of America has gone wrong, is that they're spoiled too much. And the chief spoiler is Alexia, who also. Who enters with gifts. She has, like, donuts and stuff. And so Adriana immediately is feeling insecure because Adriana came with nothing. And she's just like. She's like, well, I. You know, she's like, I don't. You know, I don't come bearing gifts. My present is a heart full of love and to be here for them anytime they need me. And I don't need to bribe them. My intentions are pure. It's like, no, you forgot. You forgot to go to CVS beforehand.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Also, Adriana is not as rich as everybody else. She's like, I'm not paying for. For these kids.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, your mother is mean housewife.
Ronnie Karam
Your mother is not a good friend to me. So don't ever beat me to a text. There. There's some advice from your auntie. Okay. There's some Thea advice for you.
Ben Mandelker
But I did love the way that. I did love the way that Adriana and Alexia, like, really just, like, souped up these kids. Like, it was like a big mommy moment. Like, it's kind of like one of those moments where it is. It feels like it is the village, and everyone soups in and hugs him. Like, there's something. Like, as much as I, like, I'm always being like, oh, my God, that's so Mommy. That's so Mommy. But I'm like, there is actually something really incredibly lovely about, like, when moms come together and support each other. Women supporting women. Okay. But just like that, maternal love that just started to flow through the scene was really very warm to me. You're touched. I was touched. I dropped all my eggs.
Larsa Pippen
It's time for a Commercial it's time.
Ronnie Karam
For a crappin commercial.
Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ronnie Karam
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Ronnie Karam
We both use Quints. I've got some really sweet pieces from there. One of my favorites is a a leather jacket that I'm going to keep forever. You know I use it and you should too.
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Ronnie Karam
I was very touched by the donuts. I was like that is a good aunt right there. Don't bring me some goddamn toy, bring me some carbs. Carbs dripping into sugar. So Adriana and Alexia are both wearing really bright things to impress the kids and they're wearing neons and Adriana's like oh wow. It's like a neon off like oh, my God. So then Alexi is like, oh, my God, they already found out I'm the cool tia. I'm the cool tia. I'm the cool. I'm the cool one. And then we get a call from Karamo from Queer Eye.
Ben Mandelker
Yes, Karamo, America's favorite. And just, oh, hi, my friend.
Gertie
This is Jackson. And this is Luca. And Jackson, Luca, this is Karamo, who will be harvesting yourselves for his face very soon.
Ben Mandelker
And Caramel's like, hey, if you ever need me to babysit, you need me to take them out, I can do that. I'm Karamo. Like, oh, yes.
Ronnie Karam
I may not be coming back to Queer Eye, but I am coming back with my new show, Queer Eye for the possibly straight babies. Okay, change your shirt, Balenciaga already. Everyone knows you didn't earn it. Okay, back to the drawing boards.
Ben Mandelker
He's got. He's like, oh, I have to say, this is so much better than shooting with Mary from selling Sunset.
Ronnie Karam
So Julia's thirsty. He'll shoot on any of these shows. Karamo just shows up anyway.
Ben Mandelker
He does. He really does. He does that big fake laugh. And so Julia is like, Karamo is friend.
Gertie
And I met Karamo at some event for good. And we hit it off.
Ben Mandelker
Well, we hit it.
Gertie
We hit an orange juice off the goat's back. And his energy, he is so warm. And he's such an activist and great man. And put smile on my face.
Ben Mandelker
So he's like, listen, I just want to give you a call because I'm coming to Miami, you know, the national LGBTQ task force. I'm getting honored and I just had to invite you and your cameras.
Ronnie Karam
Isn't the task force like an army thing?
Ben Mandelker
I don't really know what a task force is.
Ronnie Karam
Who's two killing for that in like military shows, you know, and they're call the task force and then the task.
Ben Mandelker
Force, it's an armed force organization for special operation. So you heard it here forced first. Kamo has started up a private army.
Ronnie Karam
For gay against gay goats. Damn it.
Ben Mandelker
The unit specially organized for a task.
Ronnie Karam
Who?
Ben Mandelker
You know, there was some. Some. Honestly, look, look, some small dicked person came up with the term task force because someone was like, I need you to get some people to do this task for me. Like, okay, everyone, we need to do a task. We will be the task force. Like, who's gonna.
Ronnie Karam
Could you just bring me a water? It's like some bus boy somewhere. It's like, I'm sorry, but I'm in a task force now. You'll have to talk to my union.
Ben Mandelker
Leader who thought about pairing the term force with task.
Gertie
Task is.
Ben Mandelker
Task isn't even as. Like, maybe if it was called, like, a chore force, maybe an errand. The task is like this. A task is like, the smallest thing, right? It's like duties.
Ronnie Karam
For us.
Ben Mandelker
Someone really had to elevate their stature. They're like. Because they're only getting assigned tasks instead of chores or obligations or duties. They just had tasks.
Ronnie Karam
I know. They get there. They're like, you know what I'm really good at? Picking up dry cleaning for people. I'm joining the task force. And then they get there, and they're handed a gun. They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Ben Mandelker
Don't around on the task force, bro.
Ronnie Karam
What'd you think you were gonna be doing? It's called the task force. I thought I'd be watering your plants while you were out of town.
Ben Mandelker
No, that's a chore. This is the task force for the task force. You know what you're gonna do? You're gonna get me a sweet and low from the cupboard.
Ronnie Karam
Refill my bread, or I'll shoot you.
Ben Mandelker
The task force never forgets.
Ronnie Karam
So Martina is playing hide and seek with Luca, and he's like, I found Ellen DeGeneres. So then Martinez, I found Ellen DeGeneres haircut. Martin is like, hey, wait a minute. I thought long and hard about this haircut.
Ben Mandelker
Luca's like, oh, my God, it's Tom Petty. So Julia's like, the National LGBTQ Task.
Gertie
Force is all about fighting for freedom and justice and getting splendor for LGBTQ people. Every event in Miami is a party, but this one is a special party because it's all about my people and all about my community.
Ben Mandelker
And no surrogates allowed.
Gertie
Okay, Martina, I'm gonna need you to.
Ben Mandelker
Be quiet about that.
Ronnie Karam
So wait, what do you.
Ben Mandelker
You.
Ronnie Karam
This is the second time you've mentioned it. What is Martinez. Surrogacy thing.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, this is another thing. I thought you knew about this. This is the. Maybe you missed this on your. On your recovery week. Martina tweeted out. She tweeted out and said, surrogacy is just wrong. Sorry. Sometimes you can't have it all. And everyone got mad at her, so then she had to erase it. But it was kind of like, what the. We're sitting here watching your adoption storyline, like, all your storyline for two years. Well, not for two years, but there's been a big through line about starting a family and, like, what we can do to Start a family and how family is so important, and you're gonna be all of a sudden on surrogacy, like, when that's really the only option for some people. And for some people, that's also, like, a viable way to gain income. It was just so. It was just. It just was so obnoxious. So, yeah, everyone's been rat Raz and Martina about it, including me.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, this lady. My God, Her. Her tweets. I read one last week, and I was just like, you know what I need to stop doing is reading Martina tweets. And it's not like I follow her or anything. They just keep show because she's always pissing people off. So they keep showing up in whatever I'm reading, whatever social media thing I'm reading. And I just need to stay away from her because she infuriates me. And then I watch this show. I would never. I'm never infuriated by her on this show, but, oh, my God, I just need to not ever read another tweet. Some, like, guns and black people tweet last week. Did she seem to find God like.
Ben Mandelker
Martina, I tried it. I tried to like it.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, it's too. It's too. I don't even know what it is. I'm not even. I tried to find it to read it, but I just. I guess the point is stay away from Martina tweets if you're me.
Ben Mandelker
I know. I used to love her. I always loved her. Like, I was like, Martina Nevarta lover. And then she was on the show, and I'm like, oh, my God, Martin Rotolova. But, you know, social media is a bitch. And, like, really? Also, you're going to do these terrible tweets while your wife is having a villain edit this season. Like, at least way to go. And also, Andy Cohen had a surrogate. So, like, think about your boss for a moment. But whatever.
Ronnie Karam
So, okay. So anyway, they're talking about this Karamo thing and the task force, and Julia is very proud to serve her community because they get her dry cleaning. So we go to Oliver Brazilian Furniture, where Lars is meeting Karen, the most exciting, the most excited furniture store worker I've ever seen on one of these shows. She's like, oh, my God, I'm just so happy to design your dream closet. I'm Karen.
Ben Mandelker
Karen from Oliver. Like, Karen from Oliver.
Ronnie Karam
Can someone get Karen a benzo? She's about to fucking explode all over the.
Ben Mandelker
Well, she's been trapped in this closet showroom for, you know, who knows how many years before someone finally walked in. So she's like, I'm so happy to design your dream closet. I'm basically. They say, I'm the Karen Karamo of Karamo of closets. So Lars is like, oh, my God.
Ronnie Karam
I'm the non LGBTQ + task force leader. Okay. There is nothing taskier than designing a closet.
Ben Mandelker
I've been put out the National Closet Task Force, and it's our mission to make sure everyone has a closet so that way gays, like, Karamo can come out of them.
Larsa Pippen
Oh, my God. Like, Like, I really love, like, the classic task force because, like, they, like, they're, like, part of my community.
Karamo Brown
Like, yeah, I want a closet, like, where I can see them and get to, like, everything that's important to me because, like, I love this color and I can put my gun in the closet.
Ben Mandelker
And then Karen's like, huh? Oh. Lars is like, I don't really have a gun.
Karamo Brown
Lol. Lol.
Ben Mandelker
I'm like, you have a gun, and you totally just said that on tv. You're in Florida. It's okay. People to say that you don't have a gun in Florida, I think would be the more remarkable thing.
Ronnie Karam
Lars is having an interesting trajectory this season. Last week she was watching Trump in the restaurant, and this week she's talking about her guns. Like, what the hell? I also like Larsa's closet design aesthetic. She's like, you know what?
Larsa Pippen
Like, here's like, what I want, like, in a closet. Like, I want to be able to, like, find things in it.
Ronnie Karam
Who goes in there and is like, you know what I want the most confusing fucking closet. I don't want to know what anything is.
Karamo Brown
Make my closet look like MC Usher.
Ronnie Karam
Larson would never say that. She knows. She would know who that is.
Larsa Pippen
Who's amc? Usher. Like, do they still have that? That's crazy.
Karamo Brown
They have Ushers at amc. That's cool. Like, yeah. So I want, like, a gun in my closet. Mala make. Make America Larsa again.
Ben Mandelker
So Karen's like, okay.
Karamo Brown
She's like, I love my penthouse. I love it. It's easy and. And it's literally a mansion in the sky, except it's not a mansion. It's a penthouse. But I just feel like the condo is, like, it's just, like, not a family place for us. So I purchased a nice house, and it's not moving. Ready? But now I have a house for when my kids never visit me.
Ben Mandelker
I'm like, when did. Like, when is Larsa have her kids around? They're first of All. They're all, like, grown up and they're all, like, in la, aren't they? And she and Larsa buying houses. This is, like. This is. This is a storyline that's been plaguing America for a few years now, because we even had to watch Larsa on selling sunset look at houses to buy. It's never ending with her. She's just always buying houses and she never settles on one.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Didn't she already say the line?
Larsa Pippen
Yeah, but, like, this house, like, this is, like, my first, like, first house, like, that I've, like, ever, like, owned, like, on myself.
Ronnie Karam
Like, I think we've already heard her say that. Why does she keep saying that all the time? You already owned a house that was already years. Or is she saying that about the penthouse? Like, finally.
Larsa Pippen
It's like my own, like, penthouse, like, like finding.
Ben Mandelker
She literally says it about everything. She's like, finally.
Karamo Brown
This is like my first Starbucks that I've ordered by myself.
Ben Mandelker
It's like, you cannot keep milking this divorce for some sort of independent storyline.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, the kids all moved away because they're sick of Larsa trying to date their friends. So Lars is like, yeah, I like.
Larsa Pippen
My friend, like, Stephanie. Like, it sounded like I'm so, like, coming, like. Like, she's gonna, like, redo her home too. Like, so, like, I feel like. Like, I wanted to, like, feel, like, come, like, to get ideas.
Karamo Brown
Like, yeah, this is the first host. Yeah, I'm really excited for Stephanie to come.
Ben Mandelker
So then, so we're looking at, like, digital renderings of the closet, and the designer is like, this is your closet. Hold on one second. I don't know how Karama wound up in my rendering, but there he is. He's really prevalent with all gay things. Even just the mention of a closet. He just shows up. Wow.
Ronnie Karam
Karama's, like, as the head of the LGBTQ+ task force, I would like to have a parlay with the head of the non LGBTQ +closet force.
Karamo Brown
Do you feel like my closet is big enough?
Ben Mandelker
She's like, well, it's not small. I mean, it's like, it's. It's good. It's. It's. It's good. It's like, you know, it's definitely not small.
Karamo Brown
And she's like, I just want to maximize every corner of that closet.
Ronnie Karam
I felt bad that Larsa has shot a whole closet scene and they cut it and just used it in a flashback because that's, like, Lars's storyline this year. You know, she needs this closet storyline, and they Just relegated it to a flashback.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, that's true. I didn't even realize I'd gone into a flashback. I thought this was. I thought they're just still sitting there talking about the closet, but little did I realize they were actually walking into her closet. I thought they're looking at a rendering. I'm so confused.
Ronnie Karam
You didn't notice because at the bottom they put a little chiron. That said, we are sparing you from an actual Larsa scene this season. You're welcome.
Ben Mandelker
So Larsa says, this is a new.
Karamo Brown
Chapter for me, and I think it's, like, more of my style and more my Larsa.
Ben Mandelker
You have so many chapters without actually having an interesting book. Like what? It's like. It's like what you said, Ronnie. Every single episode, she's always announcing a new chapter in a new home. Everything.
Ronnie Karam
Every single time. And every episode, she's announcing a new chapter on her face. Every single time.
Ben Mandelker
Every time.
Ronnie Karam
It gets plastic surgery between episodes. Like, you have a different face every episode Now. I don't even know who you are right now.
Ben Mandelker
And I think at this point, she's just getting surgery from a flobe, because I swear her features are just getting more sucked into the center. It's like she's attaching something to her face and just pulling it all forward.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, it's like a black hole. It's all being sucked in. You know, she's like an elbow with eyes. So, Lars community. Yeah, I'm here from the LGBTQ+ elbow task force. Gay elbows. Gay elbows. Picking up coffee only.
Ben Mandelker
So Stephanie comes over and Larsa is showing her the closet stuff and showing her samples. And Lars is like, yeah, I was.
Karamo Brown
Thinking something in this family would be nice.
Ben Mandelker
And stuff is like, yeah, you know, I have something very similar to this one. So I best. I'm just like a closet innovator, I guess. I guess really, I should be on the task force. I guess that's just what I'm saying. And Lars is like, yeah, well, I'm.
Karamo Brown
Doing it first, so give it back. Anyway, so here, look at this. Here's something glass. Do you like glass? Glass is nice, right?
Ronnie Karam
She's like, no, because it has fingerprints. Larsa, glasses, fingerprints.
Larsa Pippen
And she's like, no, but, like, there's like a handle. Like, just.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, but you're still going to touch it. Larsa just, well, but would you.
Larsa Pippen
Why would you touch glass? Like, you're not going to touch the glass. You're going to touch, like, only the handle, like, of the door.
Ronnie Karam
And she's like, because I'm ocd. I don't know what, I don't know what that has to do with being ocd. Like where you, you touch glass when you're ocd. I don't think that's what OCD is.
Ben Mandelker
I think it's the opposite. Yeah, I think she's just saying I care about this stuff because I'm ocd, because I'm concerned about, I'm, I'm concerned about fingerprints because I'm ocd. And she's like, no, you have to.
Ronnie Karam
Think these things dumb because people do touch glass. Have you ever seen a glass door going into like a Nordstrom's or wherever? I just really fancied myself up there. Or like opening a mall door, people don't grab the handle, they the glass because they think that everybody's hands are dirtier than their hands. So they don't want to touch the hands. They want to put their dirty hands all over the glass. People are monsters and if you don't think you're one of them, you got another thing coming. Okay, we are all from the same human monster DNA.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, that's correct. We're all Georgia from next gen New.
Ronnie Karam
York City, so boogers are gross. Except our own. You know, you better not pick your nose, but guess how I spend my afternoon means, you know, it's like humans are disgusting. Like your cold is disgusting, but I'll go on a plane sneezing all over everybody.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, there's some truth. Monsters. Monsters. So Stephanie's is lecturing Larsa about the closet choices now, which is my favorite. You know, Stephanie is so obnoxious, but I really enjoy the way she lectures people because they kind of all deserve it. She's like, you have to think these things through. Like the fingers, the makeup, you have to think it through. Like you don't want, I like you don't want to get it dirty. Larsa. Like why do you want to have this here? You're gonna get it dirty. You don't want to do that. You think these Dolores like what thinks things through.
Karamo Brown
I don't understand what that means though.
Ronnie Karam
Like she's like, yeah, but like I'm self diagnosed OCD and I like everything clean and I don't like fingerprints and that's why I say boogers and birkins just don't mix. Which I also said, I think two episodes ago, but I'm gonna keep saying it so you guys remember that I said it and it's turned into a guess.
Ben Mandelker
I'm just like hoping that this becomes a T shirt that I can sell from the show. My group. I'm like, yeah, you're trying too hard on this. This is the side of Stephanie I don't like, is when she tries really hard to, you know, promote that she is rich and she loves a rich lifestyle. She's like, yeah, no kids for me, thank you very much. And then they get some champagne, and she's like, yep. That means that you're the VIP and you're spending a lot of money.
Karamo Brown
Larsa, I think we are, like, an XYZ and such.
Ronnie Karam
And that she loves her personality.
Larsa Pippen
She's like, I love Stephanie's, like, personality, like, because, like, she's, like, not a pet. Like, the bootleg, like, so three days.
Ronnie Karam
Earlier, we see Stephanie scolding Lisa about arriving to the sprinter van late. And Lars is like, yeah, see, like.
Larsa Pippen
She'S, like, not fake.
Ronnie Karam
And she also.
Larsa Pippen
The people that I don't like, like, so I like her.
Karamo Brown
That's fun.
Ben Mandelker
Like, so she's like, by the way.
Karamo Brown
Like, I met Lisa for lunch, and I was just, like, telling her that, like, I think she needs to be a better friend. And she's, like, running on empty in different department, like, because everyone's sick of her playing the victim all the time.
Ben Mandelker
Like, and then we see, like, a flashback to their launch and with, you know, this is where Lars is.
Karamo Brown
Like, you're running low on friends. Like, this is, like, my new thing. You're running on empty with friends. Like, you're a gas tank. You're a tank. You look like a big tank. You should be on a task force where you could be the tank and everyone else could be the army. They can get inside you because you're a tank.
Ronnie Karam
Stephanie's like, I can tell that Lars is not really over it. I can tell you that right now. I know her really well because Lars.
Larsa Pippen
Is like, we're just looking, like, who exists?
Ronnie Karam
Like, so now they're talking about this big gala coming up, and Lars is not going because she has a dinner. But Stephanie's in good hands because Julia really loves to have fun. So don't worry about it.
Ben Mandelker
She loves fun. So now let's go to the National LGBTQ Task Force Gala. So people are arriving. Julia's on the step, and repeat, there's an entertainment reporter interviewing her, asking how she feels.
Gertie
She's like, I am feeling so loud and so proud to represent this community and also have really happy news to share. But unfortunately, you'll just have to look at another media outlet because you weren't on the zoom in time. I'm so sorry.
Larsa Pippen
Hopefully you have a news. A news program that can tell you good news.
Ronnie Karam
So Karamo is getting awarded with the National Leadership Award for his work tackling HIV stigma and advocating for mental health in the black queer community. So we see Karamo, and he's posing and stuff, and she's invited all her friends. And so Stephanie comes and Marisol comes and Steph, Marisol and Stephanie get in the car together, and Marisol's like, oh, it's you. It's my girl. My girl. She goes, I got a mini shaker because I know that. That cockies are the way to your heart. She's like, cockies and cash. Am I right?
Ben Mandelker
Because there's, like, a little bar set up in the armrest in this Rolls Royce. So Marisol's like, well, I guess I got the Nissan version of the Rolls Royce, because I don't have a mini bar in mind. I'm like, no, you. You. You got a Nissan. That's why don't try to make us think that you're living in that small house with a Rolls Royce. You have a Nissan lady, and there's no bar in there because you're driving it yourself illegal.
Ronnie Karam
Just puts a little RR sticker over. It basically is a Nissan Juke. Not anymore.
Ben Mandelker
It's called a Rolls Royce Road.
Ronnie Karam
I love the idea of Marisol driving around a little Nissan Juke, just coming out with her giant flower dresses.
Ben Mandelker
Like, whoa, Whoa.
Ronnie Karam
Wasn't expecting that.
Ben Mandelker
I didn't know there was a Nissan called a Nissan Juke.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, yeah. You've never seen it. They're like the little boxy. They're kind of boxy, but they, like, tilt down. I like them. I like the little boxy, but I think they're so cute.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
Look up. Nissan Juke.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, God. It's like they want to be a Mini Cooper, but they're not.
Ronnie Karam
I love them. I love that they're like, little toy.
Ben Mandelker
They look like a little toy. They look like a shoe. They look like a sneaker.
Ronnie Karam
Cars, though. You know, I drove a little one of those little Fiat, like, Despicable Me. That was my Despicable Me era. I was, like, almost 400 pounds, bald, and driving this little tiny car I could barely fit in and out of.
Ben Mandelker
Is a really cute little car. But it looks, honestly, like a toy. It looks like a toy. It's. This is not looking a real car.
Ronnie Karam
I like that car and look at the inside and the insides of it. That the interior. Very cute. Car. I think they stopped making it, actually. Well, no, There's 1 in 20, 24. All right, Juke, we're back. We're back in business. I'm going to the juke store today. That's it.
Ben Mandelker
Nissan Juke is the Marisol of of cars. You just wait around long enough in your back.
Ronnie Karam
So Mary Soul's like, wow, this car is gorgeous. Almost as gorgeous as my colon. Badam cha. All right. You want to talk about my colon? My colon is gorgeous. It looks like a colon of a newborn. I got my colon done. It was my first colonoscopy. You know, I just never went to do that. I guess I waited too long. I didn't know what the hell was going on down there. That was going to be a big black hole like Lars face. But it turned out it's got an amazing colon. It's gorgeous.
Ben Mandelker
And I got the pictures approve it. So Stephanie's like, but what about your liver? Oh. Oh, how dare you. Oh. Caught a stray right there. I mean, you realize you just fed me this booze in the back of your Rolls Royce. Or is this a Nissan Juke? Am I right? Commercials. Here comes one right now.
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Ben Mandelker
Plus, back at the party, Adriana arrives and poses and they. She says hi to Julia, and Julia is like, oh, I sent message to.
Gertie
Marisol earlier to check on her colonoscopy. And she said everything is good.
Ben Mandelker
And Adriana's like, oh, yeah, well, look, I know you're all up Alexia's ass, but I didn't know you were all up Marisol's ass too. I mean, so much so that when her doctors, they are looking for polyps, he's gonna find a little miniature Julia's head in there. Being like, I'm here, I'm here. I'm like, when I. It was actually, like, unsettling this metaphor, this. This joke that Adrian was saying, because Adrian, like, poster head forward and was like, really kind of sold the image of, like, lots of little Julia heads inside of Marisol's colon.
Ronnie Karam
So Lisa comes and she's like, I'm.
Larsa Pippen
Definitely not going to be late with Stephanie because she yelled at me. I don't want to hear that again.
Ronnie Karam
Which you see guys yelling at people does work sometimes. And even Mary Soul's like, wow, she did something we couldn't do for a decade. So God, colon's off to you, Stephanie.
Ben Mandelker
She did something we couldn't do for a decade, which is bring the Nissan Juke back to a marketplace. So back on. Congratulations, Stephanie. Nissan Juke powerhouse, influencer. So Gertie arrives. She's like, oh, yes, she said loud. So look, see, look, I'm loud. She is loud, everyone. And Julia saying that she feels like everything is good, like everything's good with her and Gertie because after the goddess party, vibes were good, they had good talking, etc, and she thinks that everything is gonna be totally fine today. But we know it won't be.
Ronnie Karam
No, it will not be.
Larsa Pippen
I believe with baby steps, we could get hopefully where he wants before were, huh?
Ronnie Karam
So Karamo comes over and he's like, oh, Julia, thanks for coming, baby. Oh, God, thanks so much for coming. Hold on, oh, my God, this necklace. Who's this little person? God, I love your necklace. I smell money.
Carmen Carrera
I smell money.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, my God. Is he always like this? This guy?
Ben Mandelker
He is.
Ronnie Karam
This guy is a lot. This guy's a lot.
Ben Mandelker
Too much. He's too much. He's so fake. So smell money.
Ronnie Karam
You're not getting any of it, so back the fuck up. Off, off, off my girl. Okay? I don't even like this girl, but even I'm protective. I'm, like, putting my arms out like, no, this is not for you. You marry your own old, rich senior citizen.
Ben Mandelker
I think he did, actually.
Ronnie Karam
So for him, yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Living the dream. So Stephanie's like, listen, I can smell mine from a mile away too, and I like it. I like the way it smells. It's a great compliment. I mean, who wants to smell like something else other than money? I'm like, yes, who wants to smell unlike something that's, like, sat in someone's, like, butthole or it's full of nasty germs in someone's crotch or pocket?
Ronnie Karam
People at the 711 are wearing plastic gloves to touch the cash. Okay. Because it's nasty. And I like when he's like, oh, my God, you can smell money too, right? And she goes, yeah, my husband smells delicious. She's so gross, this girl, Stephanie. I don't. I don't like this.
Ben Mandelker
She tries to. She's definitely a try hard. I like her a lot, but she is a try harder yet.
Ronnie Karam
I'm still. I'm still trying to give my. My housewives grace period, you know? But for right now.
Ben Mandelker
So she's totally obnoxious, but I like. I like the way she. She stands her. She's. She holds her own in a way that I really appreciate with this group. So that's. That's really all I want. But as you were saying, Kiki arrives, and she has brought Carmen Carrera, known as a model and former drag race contestant. And is this the first time I. I could be wrong, but is this the first time we've seen a friend of introduce a new friend of. To the show?
Ronnie Karam
Oh, that's true. That's a good point. I don't know. I just saw that she was going to be on because there was a Bravo post. It was like, welcome to a gorgeous new housewife coming. Yeah, but I don't really know anything else about her.
Larsa Pippen
So Julia's like, oh, let me give you prompt, new person got.
Ronnie Karam
I'm sorry, I don't know what to do with that.
Larsa Pippen
Okay, so you did Victoria's secret show. Did this sound natural?
Ronnie Karam
And she's like, yes. Well, I almost did about 10 years ago, but there was a petition for me to walk in the show, but they didn't allow it because there were no transgenders allowed. And so that's why we do things like this. That's when I became the first transgender coffee fetcher for the LGBTQ+ task force.
Ben Mandelker
And that was Carmen. Everyone, everyone, that was Carmen Carrera. Her big debut. That was the last thing that she said on the episode. They really, like, all week long. Bravo was like, introducing Carmen. Here comes Carmen. Here comes Garmin. And she's like, yes, I was. I was. I was almost in a fashion show, but people are bigots. So anyway, and then it goes.
Ronnie Karam
She tried it. She tried. She tries later in the episode, but they cut her off. So she's gonna need to learn to be a little bit louder if she's gonna stick with this group. So Alexi is now grilling Lisa about her lunch with Larsa. And she's like, but you also had lunch with Larsa. And she's like, yeah, we're working on it.
Larsa Pippen
You know, I don't want to be negative, but, like, one thing was kind of funny. So, like, Larsa's like, you're narcissist. Because, like, I got the most flags or whatever, but I go listen to this every minute ago. Yeah, well, you're a license.
Ben Mandelker
Everyone's like, the host in that restaurant comes up to her is like, excuse me, ma', am. You're still being a little bit too loud for our customers. You just keep it down.
Ronnie Karam
That scene was amazing. I was so upset not to be on the last recap. It was what an episode. What an episode.
Ben Mandelker
It was pretty amazing. You were missed.
Ronnie Karam
Marisol's like, oh, monkey, you're a wordsmith.
Ben Mandelker
Wow. Love Maris salsa. So dismissive. And. And Lars has, you know that. You know that Lisa's probably like, thanks, thanks. So.
Ronnie Karam
Marisol, let me tell you what I don't have. A colon cyst, okay? Little Lara says, looks like a. A five year old juke.
Larsa Pippen
It's so small.
Ben Mandelker
So now they go and they sit at their table. It's the big, you know, like, welcome to the 2024 National LGBTQ Task Force Gala has a trivet on the table, and we want everyone to bring their trivet to a different table. And you've completed your task for the evening. Thank you so much.
Ronnie Karam
So Alexia gets a ding, and she's like, oh, look what Todd said, because.
Larsa Pippen
I'm wearing the dress.
Ronnie Karam
And Mary Soul's like, well, what. How did you know? You. You were wearing that. Oh, my God. Because of last night. Because of last night. And she's like, oh, you saw him last night. You may not want. Oh, come on. Come on. How could you? How could you?
Ben Mandelker
Well, you know, last night I ran into Todd, and we just, like, hung out all night. And, you know, like, I don't know, like, why we're protecting each other. It's just like, this is what happens when we see each other. We want to be with each other. And, like, I love this man, and he loves me, and I'm just going by my heart.
Ronnie Karam
I'm like, oh, God, I need a real drink. This is too sweet. I can't.
Ben Mandelker
Does anyone have a Nissan Juke? Teeny. God, I need something strong around here.
Ronnie Karam
And Stephanie says that she doesn't know Todd that well, but from everything I've heard, I think Alexia is very blind to Todd's narcissistic tendencies. She's it. She just had a party. I don't care what she says. That party was a party about Todd last week. She even said she's like, I dated someone like this for a very long time named Todd. And I. You know, I want to be very subtle about it. I want to be subtle, but, you know, I was dating this guy, and he had, like, all these qualities of a narcissist. So we're going to have this party, and we're going to talk about narcissism. And now she's like, what? That party wasn't for toddlers.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. She literally had a breakdown in a restaurant where she said, todd is a narcissist. I hate narcissists. All the narcissists should die. And then the next episode, she's like, I've been thinking about narcissism a lot. So I decided to throw an anti narcissism party. And then they get to the party, and she goes, well, people think this is about Todd, but it's not about Todd. It's. It's actually about all of them instead.
Ronnie Karam
Like, what?
Ben Mandelker
You literally.
Ronnie Karam
You could.
Ben Mandelker
You. You demanded his death.
Ronnie Karam
So this is hilarious. I was laughing. So while she's so ridiculous.
Ben Mandelker
So while they're here, like, they're in this gala and, like, a presentation is happening because we can hear a presentation. Like, ladies, ladies, ladies. I don't want to scream, but I want to be demure, and I just want to make sure you got my text message about the party on Tuesday. It's a celebration of life. It's white cocktail. I'm like, there's. There's a thing happening on stage. It's like, just so you know, I'm going to be publicly shaming Julia, and I want to make sure you're all there. Oh, did you freeze?
Ronnie Karam
You froze and you froze like this. And your fate.
Ben Mandelker
Guys.
Carmen Carrera
Yeah, I'm having a party to talk about what an Julia is, but my face is going to be blown up. There's going to be blown up posters of my face. It's going to be amazing. So I. I didn't want to yell right now. I just wanted to interrupt somebody talking about the black gay GLBTQ community. Whatever.
Ronnie Karam
Okay. Are you coming?
Ben Mandelker
And they're like, okay, sure.
Ronnie Karam
And I got lots of wives. So many wedding dresses.
Ben Mandelker
Well, I went to do some sort of donation of some sort. So, like, to my group, support your girlfriends. They are wanting to present a check to a non profit to embed it in that whole breast cancer sphere. So we're going to do support your girlfriends, but maybe not support the lgbtq. Com platform, because I'm going to talk all the way through it. Okay, so then, please welcome to the stage 2024 National Leadership Award recipient Karamo. So he goes on the stage and he's like, tonight's theme is Karamo gets to be on Bravo. And I realized a long time ago that any cult action starts with a call to Andy Cohen saying, when are you shooting another Housewives show? I will be there. Just tell me when. And here I am. Thank you, everyone, so much for being here.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, so then Lisa is talking to Julia.
Larsa Pippen
She's like, I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much for bringing us here.
Ronnie Karam
You know, and I'm so proud of.
Larsa Pippen
You for adopting two boys. I'm so proud to be your friends. And it's like, oh, thank you, little gravelly person. Tonight, there's no drama, just how it should be. And now all I want to know is that my boys are growing up with lovely, lovely dias.
Ben Mandelker
And then Karama's like, now everyone, before I leave, turn to neighbor and say, neighbor, never stop fighting.
Ronnie Karam
You want to do that when you've got a Housewives cast here? No one's ever said that in the same room with these people.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, didn't Karamo. Didn't he, like, moderate the, like, Vanderpump rules panel at BravoCon? No.
Ronnie Karam
I don't know.
Ben Mandelker
I thought. I thought he, like, he moderated some panel and everyone was like, he. He clearly has not watched the show.
Ronnie Karam
I did A Bravo Con. I went to, like, the first two minutes of panels, and then I was like, this is stupid and boring. And then I would go gamble. That's. That was my. That was my bravocon experience.
Ben Mandelker
I'm just imagining him saying this at the Vanderpump rules panel, being like, okay, I want everyone to look at each other and say, neighbor, never stop fighting. And so they do this. They all. They all do it. And then, of course, the screen, like, kind of, like, glitches and freezes, and it says 72 hours later. And then you see Gertie publicly shaming Julia. I was like, oh, no.
Ronnie Karam
So we go to Gertie's party, and, you know, of course, Gertie's like, this party.
Carmen Carrera
It's about cancer, and the cancer struggles.
Ronnie Karam
But it's huge pictures of Gertie's face. And then things like, Gertie, you know.
Carmen Carrera
Big words and say, like, gertie, you got this, girl. I'm that bitch.
Ben Mandelker
Yes. And. And this is, like, sponsored by the Knot. The Knot was so excited. The Knot was like, posting content yesterday. Being like, watch the Real House House in Miami tonight. Like, we're on it. I'm like, you're at an event where you publicly shaved. You're part of, like. Like, the star publicly. Like, it was. You're part of an event of public saying. But, like, that's fine. I guess any publicity is good publicity.
Ronnie Karam
We got the box for this. Didn't we get the box for this party? I did not party. It was from the Knot, you remember? We got a box from Gertie, wasn't it, for this? I think.
Ben Mandelker
No, that Gertie box was something else. That gritty box was. Oh, it was from Gertie Box. The Gertie box for the Knot. Yes, to happen.
Ronnie Karam
But yeah, we got that, like, the sushi kit in it.
Ben Mandelker
Was that where that sushi kit came from? I was wondering.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Where that sushi stuff came from?
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, it was like a sushi kit. Kit making. Like, a sushi making kit thing in there.
Carmen Carrera
It was like, girly. The best sushi you'll ever eat.
Ronnie Karam
And a candle.
Ben Mandelker
I could have had sushi.
Ronnie Karam
So she comes. So there are texts. Oh. So then we see.
Carmen Carrera
She's like, tonight.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, yeah, we're seeing a clip of what's happening 72 hours later.
Carmen Carrera
Gertie's like, tonight. I feel it's necessary to set the record straight by exposing the lies. The lies.
Ronnie Karam
And then we see text projected on a screen, and Marisol's like, oh, this is dirty. This dirty.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So we see that it's gonna go bad. But now, now we're back in the regular timeline and we're doing setup for this party. It's Gertie's celebration of life, and people are adjusting pink decorative twill and placing a large sign that says certify on it. And Gertie's saying, like, she feels like this is her debut. It's her post cancer debut. It's going to be a year that she's been cancer free. And it's a party of life because she's alive and she did it, which is great. And by the way, both events this episode are. Are celebrating great things, but of course, it's Miami, so they're also both messy. And so Gertie is just really excited her family's gonna be there. I was like, this is when I started to really get, like, I felt a talk about, but talk about the not. I felt one in my stomach, in my chest. When she said her family was going to be there, and we already saw a preview of her publicly shaming Julia, I was like, like, is she going to be doing this in front of her sons? I am already cringing.
Ronnie Karam
Her sons aren't babies. They're fine. Yeah, but still, like, they. Gertie's their mother. I. I don't think this is the first time. And I feel like Gertie's probably practiced this in her living room.
Carmen Carrera
Like, okay, boys, come in here. You be Julia, you be Martina. And Russell, you can be just Marisol. Just talk about Collins.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, here we go. Here we go. Are you ready?
Carmen Carrera
Can you read them?
Ronnie Karam
Can you read these?
Ben Mandelker
The boys probably, like, like, turn the, like, the screenshots into PDFs to be put into the slideshow. That's true. They probably, like, set it all up for her. Like, okay, mom, have fun. Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
So Gertie is like, oh, it's gonna.
Carmen Carrera
Be one for the books. This part is going to be amazing. Because what else would it be? I'm Gertie. This party's gonna be gratified. Cancer just got it from me. I told cancer, I'm that cancer.
Ronnie Karam
And it left.
Carmen Carrera
It left my body. It left my body.
Ben Mandelker
It's my party. I can wear what I want. I can drink what I want. I can say what I want. I can do what I want. In fact, I once heard a beautiful song that says, I do whatever I want whenever I want with no explanation. It's Richard Marks. Go look it up. I sung the hood.
Ronnie Karam
Speaking of Real Housewives of Orange County. It's interesting that we're getting two episodes in a row this week that take place in a church. Like, Bravo is really trying to bring us to Jesus this week because Orange county has a church scene coming up soon.
Ben Mandelker
And that was south park last night. I mean, like, you know, Christian. Christian narratives are everywhere, all over pop culture. Did you see that?
Ronnie Karam
South Park. You watch South?
Ben Mandelker
Did you hear about that? Well, I watched last night's south park because everyone was talking about it because.
Ronnie Karam
Really.
Ben Mandelker
Well, I'll let you just. Basically, they. So. So on I think Monday, Matt Parker and Trey Stone or Trey Stone, Matt Parker, whatever the names are. There's guys, Parker, they signed a 1.5 billion dollar deal with.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, good.
Ben Mandelker
Paramount. And then on Wednesday's show, they just savage Paramount and Trump and all this stuff. And basically they were like. It was, you know, like in the wake of all the Stephen Colbert stuff, which was total. Everything. Stephen Colbert getting canceled. They just savage. So everyone's like, oh, my God, I can't believe they got their $1.5 billion from Paramount and then did this episode. So I was like, okay, I have to watch. And girls, it's wild. And you should definitely, definitely watch it.
Ronnie Karam
Well, I will now. I don't know about.
Ben Mandelker
You will not believe. You will not believe it when you see it. You will. You will not believe it. And I. It's hilarious because people are already mad at it. And it's like all these people who, who talked about free speech, free speech, free speech or something like, well, this show should be taken off the air. So it's great. It's a fun time to be in pop culture. Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
Girls. You go, girls. I was wondering about that deal because that's been a long coming in there. There's been a lot of, you know, threats of lawsuits and all this stuff. It's not been an easy deal. That.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
So I'm glad they finally signed it. Get your money. Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Yes. So that's some. That's some fun homework for you, Ronnie, to enjoy. You will have a field day with it. But, like, there was a lot of Jesus talk in it, too. So it was just a whole lot of Jesus happening on my tv.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, good. Well, those guys are little rabble rousers. They're the best, that's for sure. So Gertie is like, baby, baby.
Carmen Carrera
Russell, come here. Kiss me. You look so good. Russell.
Ronnie Karam
Russell.
Carmen Carrera
And Miles. Miles. Oh, God, look at you. I know you don't like when I cried. Everybody get super tight, super tight. Remember Pearly White? We're smiling.
Ronnie Karam
We're gonna fight.
Ben Mandelker
So Julia arrives first and Grooty's like, oh, hello, hello, hello. And they have like a nice quick hello. And then gritty sort of like finds a reason to get out of there, there. And Julia's like, oh, well, you know.
Gertie
Daddy made an effort to come to my event and I am here to support her with goat. But unfortunately goat got loose. But I'm still here and I'm optimistic. At least she's trying to move forward, which is already a huge step. Unfortunately, I also took a huge step and I stepped on an egg.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, well.
Ronnie Karam
So Gertie's, you know, doing her whole preamble.
Carmen Carrera
The one thing with cancer is it's, it's your attitude. Your attitude can be cancer to you. And if you don't let things get you, holding you down, if you'd let things hold you down, that's called stress. And stress ain't good for nobody. So done with stress.
Ronnie Karam
Like every time they cut to Gertie this episode, she's like, and let me.
Carmen Carrera
Give you another lesson.
Ronnie Karam
It's all leading up to the big reveal. So funny.
Ben Mandelker
So Julia, So Julia goes up to Russell and she's like, beautiful event. And he's like, yeah, you know, it's Gertie. This is what she does.
Gertie
Yes.
Ben Mandelker
How are boys?
Karamo Brown
They're good.
Gertie
Well, you know, we have two boys now.
Ben Mandelker
He's like, yeah, congratulations and good luck.
Ronnie Karam
Just like, we get an awkward and it's super awkward, which is saying something because Russell's just awkward all the time anyway. I mean, he's not, he's never like comfortable, but it's awkward even for Russell. And so she does that thing where she narrows her eyes and sick.
Larsa Pippen
Well, I don't know if Gertie shared with you, but we had a moment and that I wish we did not have, but we are on good path now, I feel.
Ronnie Karam
And he's like, well, I hope that everyone's able to move forward. Excuse me, I need to go make sure that the 90 foot image of my wife's face smiling and saying f cancer is properly taped onto the wall.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, this, this, this was starting to feel like the Red Wedding. Like I felt like Julia walking in and Russell be like, oh, yeah, we, it's so nice to see you. Like, I was just like waiting for the orchestra to like duck out and step out and all the doors are shut on Julia. So Adriana is like, Adriana and Kiki and Larsa arrive and Gertie says hello and, and you know, Adriana points out that, that Julia is talking to, to Russell, etc. And Kiki is now talking to Larsa and she's like, you know, this is like my mom old church. Lars is like, really?
Karamo Brown
Like, what?
Gertie
Huh?
Karamo Brown
Like she.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, this is, this is a church my mom, my son and I used to go to. And there was lots of Baptist church, lots of penis in this room. Lots of Baptist penis. And now it's party event space. I mean we have so much memories being like, ah, amen. Amen. Strange bald men, penis everywhere. But you know, it's great. Perfect place for Gertie to have party.
Ronnie Karam
She's funny, she's like, oh my God, this church was crazy. You jump, you dance, you do all this stuff, you know, and then we're speaking in tongues. Yeah, it's a perfect place for Gertie's party.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
So she introduces Carmen to her and she's like, okay, well now that you're meeting Larsa, you met the rest of the girls. What do you think about everyone? And so this was Carmen Chance. So she's well, I've really only known everyone for like five minutes, but. And then she's cut off.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, okay.
Ronnie Karam
I thought she was about to start.
Ben Mandelker
Some, but no, she said nothing. So then Stephanie joins up and she's oh, well, aren't you a statement? And girl, he's like, yes, this necklace. Necklace is a statement after your Kenza free you everything's a statement. My goodness, your statement. Like, okay. So then Marisol arrives and she's like, oh my God, guarantee you look like you belong on the top of a cake. It's like, it's like a Nissan juke sales event and they put a cake in the showroom and you're on top of it.
Ronnie Karam
So Marisol is talking to Julia. She's like, oh, I saw Russell's here. Did you talk to Russell?
Larsa Pippen
She said, I did. It was all the most awkward, you know, but he was uncomfortable and I guess he heard Gertie's side of the story because he looked like, I'm bad guy. But I guess I'm glad we had the conversation with Gurdy. Things are moving forward, I'm sure. I'm sure no projection screen will be used tonight against me.
Gertie
I don't know why I'm bad guy just because I refuse to get seat for Gertie for Captain Sandy and pour water on her head during wedding. Like, what is so wrong with that? I have two young boys now.
Ronnie Karam
So Gertie introduces her friends that she.
Carmen Carrera
Calls the Glossy Posse because I'M a breast cancer survivor.
Ronnie Karam
And Julia is still talking to Mary Sol.
Larsa Pippen
She's like, wait, something else. I went out with Alexi and Todd, and apparently Todd was saying to me, he's trying to win Alexia back.
Ronnie Karam
And Marisa's like, oh.
Ben Mandelker
Excuse me. Excuse me. Are you talking about the star? Because I thought I heard you guys talking about the star, so I assume you're talking about me. No, about me. Because I was like, I have a feeling these two love talking about the star right now. And Marisol's like, wow. She was telling me you ran into Todd and you guys, like, he's trying to win you back. I mean, what's going on with that? And then Stephanie, like, plops down next to them. Now they're all four on this tiny little sofa thing. And she's like, hi, Here. Sorry. I was getting away from some boogers. Can't get them near my Birkin. That could be a T shirt, right, guys? Just think about it. What?
Larsa Pippen
Why do you think he wants to win you back? You don't look like you are pulling away from him.
Ronnie Karam
And Stephanie's like, oh, my God, are we talking about Todd? Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd. We had a party for him. Remember we had that party for him, the Greek party? And she's like, oh, that wasn't a party for Todd. It was. It was for all of you. That are a bunch of narcissists, by the way. By the way. It's. It's about all of you. And Stephanie's like, I guess, including you, right? And she's like, no, actually, no. No, I'm not. I'm not, because I can't be a narcissist because I'm too much of an empath, okay? And I'm not full of myself. Like, maybe you are, okay? And then she starts doing that thing where she.
Ben Mandelker
How can a star be full of herself? I'm a star and an empath. I can't be full of myself.
Ronnie Karam
I died.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, my God.
Ronnie Karam
Like, she nods her head like. Like, aggressively at you. Like, she's beating you with her head. She's just like, oh, really? Yeah. I can't do that because I'm an empath like you.
Ben Mandelker
I also love how, like, these women really can push. Push the limits of passive aggression. Like you, you know, like, that. That. That. That fine line between passive aggression and just aggression. And. And. And they just. Their passive aggression is so on that threshold. I mean, that whole thing, like, this entire dialogue was so amazing. It's like, well, I'm an empath. So I can't. I'm not feeling myself maybe like you are, I don't know. But I'm not. I'm empathy. No, Alexi, I'm not full of myself. No, I'm not. I'm not. Unless the only thing that's full around me is my Birkin bag full of money. See, because I'm rich.
Ronnie Karam
Well, don't say things about God then. And she's like, no, but the party was based around Todd.
Carmen Carrera
She goes, no, but it's not based around Todd.
Ronnie Karam
And she goes, but the quotes were for Todd. Like the quotes there were about Todd. She goes, no, they weren't about Todd. Yes, they were. Why are you lying? Why are you trying to gaslight all of us?
Ben Mandelker
Us.
Ronnie Karam
Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.
Ben Mandelker
Watch what Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block.
Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch.
Ben Mandelker
She's our favorite streamer?
Ronnie Karam
Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera, whatever will be. Will Lauren Sills be bringing the funk? It's Leslie Plunkett, she gets a name from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisalino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry, we love her on the rocks. It's Melissa Cox, Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the berg.
Ben Mandelker
This is living with Michelle Vivian I love a Ya.
Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
She sure is swell.
Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
A good time when you're wasting time with bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet coutar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining wondery in the wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondry.com survey.
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Watch What Crappens Podcast Summary
Episode: #2943 RHOM S7E7 Part 1: It’s My Party, and I’ll Shame if I Want To
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: July 24, 2025
In Episode #2943 of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive deep into the drama-filled seventh season of The Real Housewives of Miami (RHOM). Titled “It’s My Party, and I’ll Shame if I Want To,” this episode sets the stage for intense confrontations and emotional revelations among the cast members. The hosts seamlessly blend their sharp wit with insightful commentary, making the recap both entertaining and enlightening for listeners new to the show.
Textual Tension and Personal Conflicts
The episode centers around significant interpersonal conflicts, particularly focusing on the fallout between Julia and the rest of the cast. Ben highlights the growing frustration among fans, especially regarding Julia's actions. He notes, “Everyone's really angry at Julia… People are mad at the cast because it's like Julia threw a whole ass glass of water on Gertie, and the cast just stood there” ([04:33]). This act not only ignites tension but also exposes underlying issues within the group.
Marisol’s Controversial Stance
A significant point of contention is Marisol’s stance on surrogacy. Ben and Ronnie critique her hypocrisy, stating, “Aren’t you the lady who has people followed by private eyes and etc. Etc. I mean, I don't have time to, like, even list all of Marisol's crimes on this show over the years” ([04:35]). This hypocrisy fuels the animosity from other cast members and viewers alike, adding another layer of drama to the season.
Adoption Storyline and Martina’s Contradictions
The hosts delve into the ongoing adoption storyline, questioning the legitimacy and portrayal of Julia and Martina’s family dynamics. Ben remarks, “They have some children living in their house with them, and that's all that I’m saying” ([08:58]). Ronnie raises concerns about the ethical implications, wondering, “Are you allowed to just bring children on that you're not adopted yet?” ([08:58]). This skepticism highlights the blurred lines between reality and scripted drama in reality TV.
Gertie’s Public Shaming and High Ground Pose
Gertie emerges as a pivotal character who publicly shames Julia, creating a rift within the group. Ben describes the scene where Gertie leverages her moral high ground, asserting, “Ab pour yourself from me to get the high ground, but all I did show is my shower and be reported and stuff by eq” ([08:45]). Ronnie sarcastically comments on Gertie’s moral positioning, adding, “You couldn’t have done that not to get fired and stuff” ([07:13]).
Martina’s Dual Persona
Martina’s character is under scrutiny as Ben points out her contradictory behavior: she appears warm and affectionate with the children while maintaining a disdain for certain aspects of personal privacy. Martina's tweets against surrogacy, which Ben describes as “obnoxious,” further complicate her image ([08:30]). Ronnie emphasizes her inconsistency, noting how Martina’s public persona clashes with her private actions.
Introduction of Karamo Brown
A unique twist in this episode is the introduction of Karamo Brown from Queer Eye. Ben and Ronnie humorously integrate his character into the RHOM universe, creating a fictional “National LGBTQ Task Force.” They laugh about his attempts to fit into the Housewives’ world, joking, “I may not be coming back to Queer Eye, but I am coming back with my new show, Queer Eye for the possibly straight babies” ([21:50]). This crossover adds a fresh dynamic and highlights the blending of different reality TV worlds.
Larsa Pippen’s Constant Reinvention
Larsa Pippen’s storyline revolves around her relentless pursuit of owning properties and constantly announcing “new chapters” in her life. Ben critiques her repetitive behavior, stating, “You have so many chapters without actually having an interesting book” ([33:04]). Ronnie humorously mocks her continual reinvention, highlighting the superficiality often portrayed in reality TV.
Ben Mandelker ([04:33]): “Everyone's really angry at Julia… People are mad at the cast because it's like Julia threw a whole ass glass of water on Gertie, and the cast just stood there.”
Ronnie Karam ([08:58]): “Are you allowed to just bring children on that you're not adopted yet?”
Gertie ([09:52]): “Mama has big smile. Can we do smile or leave a smile?”
Karamo Brown ([25:07]): “Force, it’s an armed force organization for special operation.”
Larsa Pippen ([33:28]): “What's amc? Usher.”
Ronnie Karam ([51:15]): “People at the 711 are wearing plastic gloves to touch the cash. Okay. Because it's nasty.”
Ben Mandelker ([54:20]): “You know, and I'm so proud of… you for adopting two boys. I'm so proud to be your friends.”
Privacy vs. Public Persona
One of the central themes discussed is the tension between maintaining privacy and the public persona demanded by reality TV. Ben aptly summarizes this conflict: “You can pour all the drinks on me you want. But the moment that you show people that I sent, like, a smile emoji in a private text message is like. Privacy is like the final frontier of decency when it comes to, like, a real Housewife” ([06:26]). This highlights the struggle cast members face in preserving their private lives against the constant public scrutiny.
Hypocrisy and Authenticity
The hosts frequently touch upon the hypocrisy exhibited by cast members, particularly Marisol and Martina. Their outward actions often contradict their stated values, creating a facade that viewers are quick to pick apart. Ronnie points out Martina’s hypocrisy, saying, “I don't understand how everybody's making this a huge thing now. Give me a break now” ([06:33]).
Integration of External Personalities
The introduction of Karamo Brown serves as a humorous yet insightful crossover, showcasing how external personalities can influence and alter the dynamics within the Housewives group. This crossover also underscores the interconnectedness of reality TV stars and their impact on one another’s narratives.
In Part 1 of the recap for RHOM S7E7, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam effectively dissect the intricate web of relationships and conflicts within The Real Housewives of Miami. Their blend of humor, critical analysis, and timely quotes provides listeners with a clear understanding of the episode’s key moments and underlying tensions. As they navigate through themes of privacy, hypocrisy, and personal reinvention, Ben and Ronnie offer a compelling narrative that both entertains and informs, making it accessible for both longtime fans and newcomers to the show.
Stay tuned for Part 2, where Ben and Ronnie promise to delve deeper into the unfolding drama and provide further insights into the captivating world of RHOM Season 7.
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